


Black Rose

by pedepaulie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-07-28 18:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 85
Words: 226,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20068288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pedepaulie/pseuds/pedepaulie
Summary: Crystal Hansen is a new transfer student to Hogwarts from America. She is sorted into Gryffindor, but she does not accept her house's rivalry with Slytherin. She is determined to make the two get along, much to the displeasure of Draco Malfoy.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone. This is my most popular fanfic I've written, so I'm posting it here for y'all. It follows the fourth through seventh books. Enjoy. :)

My eyes darted back and forth frantically. My breathing came in rapid gasps. Every instinct in my body was protesting. A million thoughts were running through my mind. This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. I could have stopped this if I had worked harder. What was I doing?

My eyes finally rested on Snape, who was standing in front of the door. He appeared unphased by my apparent panic. I hated him for that. I knew he was not my enemy, but I could not help feeling resentment against him at the moment. I shot him a deadly glare.

"What's going on?!" I cried. "If there's a battle I want to be a part of it!" I instinctively pulled out my wand. My hand shook as I pointed it at him. I needed to feel like I was doing _something_.

"Put that away," Snape said coldly, yet a bit nonchalantly. He was not taking my threat seriously. I was in no fit state to be using magic, and he knew it. "I promised to protect you, Miss Hansen."

I could feel my resistance hopelessly weakening. I slowly put my wand back. "I'm not the one who needs protecting," I mumbled just loud enough for him to hear. I knew he would know what I meant. There was only one person I was thinking about at the moment.

Snape seemed to almost hesitate. "Stay here," he warned me. With that, he turned and marched out of the office.

I sighed as I watched him leave. Once he was gone, I started pacing back and forth. I was slowly losing my nerve. I was driving myself crazy with "what ifs." I should have talked to him. I should have stopped him. I should have done _something_.

I felt helpless. Why was I even in this situation? Maybe it would have been better if I had just stayed in Minnesota. But I couldn't regret the last three years of my life. They made me who I am. _He_ had made me who I am. It had all started with a letter...

***

It was just another typical Saturday morning at my house. My mom, my two younger sisters, and I were crowded around the kitchen table stuffing ourselves with pancakes. My dad was strolling over to us with the mail that an owl had just dropped off.

"Anything exciting?" I asked curiously after swallowing. My sister Emily and I were expecting letters from the Twin Cities School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with a list of our school supplies. Yes, we were witches and proud of it. This would Emily's first year at the school and my fourth. I couldn't wait. It was exciting to go off and study magic.

Dad flipped through the envelopes. He stopped when he got to a particularly large one. He blinked in surprise. "It's from Hogwarts," he said in amazement.

The rest of us turned to stare at him silently as he opened the envelope and took the letter out. Hogwarts was an amazing Wizarding school in Great Britain. That was where my father attended, since he was originally from England. Why was he receiving a let from them? Was there a reunion or something?

Dad's eyes suddenly got wide. "Emily's in!" he announced. Emily let out a small gasp. My mouth dropped open. Emily was accepted to Hogwarts? No fair! "The Headmaster agreed to let her in even though she's not a European because I'm an alumnus there." He looked at me. "I tried to get you in your first year, but Headmaster Dumbledore wanted to see how well you'd do at the Twin Cities School before accepting you."

I clung to the word "before." Would I be accepted as well? I didn't think Hogwarts would accept students from the United States. Would they even accept exchange students? I held my breath.

Dad turned to Emily. "Do you want to go?"

Young Emily opened her mouth to say something, but our mom spoke before she could.

"Wait, is Emily just going to leave us?" Mom asked with concern.

Dad shook his head. "Crystal is accepted too. And Lizzie, when she's old enough."

"Really?" I said with an excited grin. This was unbelievable!

"So we're moving?" Lizzie guessed. She was only 9-years-old. She appeared uncertain of her feelings on the situation.

"If we all agree on it," Dad said. "Hogwarts is the best Wizarding school in the world. You'd be getting a great education." He was trying to appear nonchalant, but I could see the excitement in his eyes. He really wanted to move back to Britain; it was his home.

Mom considered this for awhile. At last she let out a small sigh, smiling slightly. "Well, you moved to America for me, so I can move back to Britain for you and the kids," she said, looking thoughtful.

Dad smiled down at her.

"I'm tired of this town," Emily said. "Nothing exciting ever happens. Let's go!"

"It could be a chance for adventure!" Lizzie exclaimed in sudden excitement.

Dad turned to me. "What do you think, Crystal?"

I shrugged. I really desired to jump up and down in excitement, but I didn't show it. I didn't want to seem _too_ eager. I was great at holding my emotions in. "I guess we can go. We've got nothing to lose."

Dad nodded. "Then it looks like we're moving." 


	2. The Weasleys

It took us three weeks to get settled. International moving was a complicated process, both for the muggle and Wizarding world; we had to go through both. Finally, we were in our new home in England. It was a very beautiful place; I couldn't wait to explore. Our house was right next to that of my dad's best friend at Hogwarts, Arthur Weasley. My dad sure was happy about that. The situation also intrigued me; Arthur had seven children. That was a good opportunity to make friends. Right after we moved in, my dad took us to meet Arthur's family.

They must have been expecting us, for a group of smiling faces greeted us at the door. There were too many of them to count. The first thing I noticed was that they all had striking red hair. Genetics was very powerful, I mused.

"Mark, it's so good to see you again!" a man who seemed to be the father exclaimed joyfully.

Dad smiled warmly at him. "It's good to see you too, Arthur." They both stepped forward and shook hands. I inwardly rolled my eyes. Men.

"Welcome to Britain," a woman said. She had a motherly aura about her. "Come in, come in."

The other family stepped aside to let my own family through. I looked around the kitchen. It was a nice place. It was definitely homely. I knew I would like it here.

"Let me introduce everyone," Arthur said. "I'm Arthur Weasley. This is my wife, Molly."

Molly smiled. "Hello."

"My oldest sons, Bill and Charlie, don't live with us anymore. My third oldest, Percy, is two years out of Hogwarts. He works for the Ministry of Magic like me." Arthur stood proudly when he said this.

Percy was sitting at the kitchen table shuffling through papers. He looked up at us and nodded curtly without saying a word. I wasn't getting a very positive feeling from him, but maybe I would be wrong.

"Fred and George are in their sixth year," Arthur went on.

"Hello," twins said at the same time. They were both grinning. I smiled at them. There was something I immediately liked about them.

"Ron here is in fourth year and Ginny is in third."

Ron and Ginny each nodded in turn. They seemed alright. I vowed to try to get to know them. It would be good to have some friends before entering a new school, especially when everyone my age already knew each other.

"That's quite a family," Dad said, seeming impressed. He turned to address the Weasleys who did not yet know him. "I'm Mark Hansen and this is my wife, Lauren."

"Nice to meet you," Mom said with a bright smile.

"Crystal here is in fourth year and Emily is starting her first year. Lizzie will start school in two years."

"Welcome all," Molly said. She had a warm smile on her face. A second later something caused her to avert her attention elsewhere. Her face lit up. "Oh, I almost forgot. You two come here please."

A boy with black hair and glasses and a girl with brown hair stepped up to Molly. Neither looked too pleased to be the center of attention, but they tried to smile anyway.

"These are Ron's friends, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger."

"They're here to go to the Quidditch World Cup with us," Arthur explained. He paused. "I can get extra tickets. Would any of you like to come?"

"Nah, you know I'm not a big Quidditch fan," Dad said.

"I'll go," I said right away. I loved Quidditch. I didn't play though. I just watched from the sidelines.

Arthur grinned. "Excellent! We'll be glad to have you along."

"Now, why don't you kids mingle why we adults have a talk?" Molly said.

There was a general murmur of agreement. I followed the Weasley kids into another room. All of us stood around in a circle. I glanced at Harry. I could have sworn I'd heard his name somewhere before. Oh well.

"Welcome to England," one of the Twins (I think it was George) said. "You're all going to Hogwarts then?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but Lizzie when she's old enough."

"You'll have to be sorted then," George said. "Everyone at Hogwarts is put into a house: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. I'm sure your dad told you all about that. He was in Ravenclaw, right?"

"I think so," I said. At least that's what I remembered him telling me. I couldn't recall much of what he said about the house though.

"Make sure you're both put in Gryffindor!" Fred exclaimed.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Don't listen to him," she said, giving us an apologetic smile. "We're all in Gryffindor, but any house is fine."

"Except Slytherin," Ron said between coughs.

"What's wrong with Slytherin?" Emily asked. I nodded, wishing for an explanation. I couldn't see why what house you were put in really mattered. Wasn't everyone still Hogwarts students?

"They're mean," Ron said. "And they hate us."

Ginny frowned slightly. "They're not all like that, Ron."

Ron raised his eyebrows. "Have you ever met a decent one?"

"No, but that doesn't mean they don't exist," Ginny said in defense. I liked her. She was quick to defend against stereotypical views. Or perhaps it was just sibling rivalry.

"There's sort of a rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin," Harry explained. "There has been since the time of the founders. What Ron means is Slytherins tend to lie and cheat and push us around." He shrugged. "At least in my experience."

I nodded slowly. "I see."

"Don't worry, you three seem too nice to be put into Slytherin," George said with a grin.

I blinked. "Thanks, but I think I'll make up my own judgment about them." It wouldn't be right to make a conclusion based on hearsay.

Fred frowned. "What? You don't trust us?" He mocked a hurt expression.

Emily laughed. "We don't know you. And you're scaring Lizzie."

"Am not," Lizzie muttered, trying to hide a blush.

"Let's go outside and talk about something else," Hermione suggested in an attempt to break up the conversation.

"Ok, good idea," I said. I agreed that a change of topic was needed. We all started for the door. I found myself walking next to Ron. I glanced at him. "When's the Quidditch World Cup?"

"Tomorrow," Ron said. "You're gonna have to get up early, so make sure you get some rest."

"Alright," I agreed. I hated getting up early because I tended to stay up late. I would have to bear with it, though.

"Have you bought your school supplies yet?" Ginny asked once we were outside.

Emily shook her head. "No."

"You can probably come with us," Fred said. "We're going in a few days."

I smiled slightly. "Thanks." Despite the near-argument earlier, I liked these people. I could definitely see myself becoming good friends with them.

***

I stayed at the Weasleys' house that night so as to not disturb my family when I got up early. After dinner we sat around talking about ourselves and our lives. It was nice. I shared a room with Hermione and Ginny, and I had a rather pleasant night.

Before I knew, it Mrs. Weasley was shaking me awake. I groaned and pulled my covers over my head. "It's still dark out," I mumbled.

"You don't want to miss breakfast," Mrs. Weasley said curtly as she walked out of the room.

I reluctantly got out of bed; the other girls looked just as tired. We got ready as fast as we could in our tired state. Apparently that wasn't fast enough, for Mrs. Weasley came back upstairs to fetch us a second time.

Soon the three of us entered the kitchen. The boys were already sitting around the table talking.

"Why do we have to be up so early?" Ginny asked, rubbing her eyes and sitting down at the table.

"We've got a bit of a walk," Mr. Weasley said.

Harry blinked. "Walk? What, are we walking to the World Cup?"

"No, no, that's miles away," Mr. Weasley said, smiling. "We only need to walk a short way. It's just that it's very difficult for a large number of wizards to congregate without attracting Muggle attention. We have to be very careful about how we travel at the best of times, and on a huge occasion like the Quidditch World Cup..."

He never got to finish because Mrs. Weasley had an episode with the twins that is too silly to be recalled here (although it was rather enjoyable, if I must say so). After a quick breakfast we were off, all feeling a bit tired and cranky. On the way Mr. Weasley explained that we would be traveling by portkey.

When we arrived we ran into Mr. Weasley's old friend, Amos Diggory. His son, Cedric, was with him. We all held onto an old boot that was the portkey. It was quite an experience and I was glad when it ended. Soon we were settled in the tent that we would be staying in during the World Cup.

"Who do you think you're gonna root for?" Ron asked me.

I shrugged. "Ireland, I guess. I am in Britain now, after all. I don't have any reason to support Bulgaria."

"Except for Krum," Fred said, coming to stand beside me.

A second later George was on my other side. "Viktor Krum is the best seeker in the world!"

I nodded. I had heard a lot about him. He was pretty impressive. "I know. But I can't support a team just for one player."

Hermione smiled at me. "Good thinking."

I smiled back at her. Like I said before, I liked these people. Maybe living here wouldn't be so bad. I could definitely get used to it. 


	3. Draco Malfoy

After buying souvenirs, it was time for the Quidditch World Cup to start. I clutched my Irish flag as we hurried into the wood. Once we got to the stadium, we had to climb up to the top to reach our seats. We found ourselves in a small box, set at the highest point of the stadium and situated exactly halfway between the golden goal posts. I sat down between Ron and Ginny in the front row.

I gasped at what I saw before me. "Wow." We were so high up that we could see everything. I was glad I had gotten over my fear of heights awhile ago. A hundred thousand witches and wizards were quickly filling the stadium. At the other end there was a giant blackboard that kept flashing advertisements.

Our box started filling up. Mr. Weasley shook hands with everyone who entered; they looked like important people. Ginny nudged me when a particular wizard walked in.

"That's Cornelius Fudge," she whispered. "He's the Minister of Magic."

I nodded. I watched in curiosity as Fudge shook Harry's hand like he knew him. "Harry Potter, you know," Fudge spoke loudly to a wizard beside him. "Harry Potter... oh come on now, you know who he is... the boy who survived You-Know-Who... you do know who he is-"

I looked from Ginny to Ron quizzically. I had no idea what the Minister was talking about. They both shrugged. I figured I could get them to tell me later. I turned to face the field again. I boredly watched the people on the other side of the stadium as I waited for the game to begin.

"Slimy gits," I heard Ron mutter beside me.

I glanced at him, but he gave no further explanation. I turned to look behind us to see if I could find who had deserved that comment. I caught the eyes of a boy with white-blond hair who looked around my age. He was frowning, and he narrowed his eyes slightly at me. I shivered and turned back around. A second later, the game begun.

*

Ireland ended up winning the match. Even though I didn't have much attachment to the team, I ended up grinning and cheering with everyone else who had supported them. I guess being surrounded by such enthusiasm really got to me. That's what I loved about sports.

I followed the Weasleys back into the tent. We stayed up for awhile drinking hot chocolate and talking about the game. After awhile, Mr. Weasley finally insisted that we all go to bed. Suddenly feeling tired, I headed to the next tent with Hermione and Ginny. We changed into our pajamas and climbed into our beds. What a day. It sure was a great one.

I hadn't been asleep for long before I heard someone burst into the tent and yell, "Get up! You have to get out quickly!"

I blinked my eyes open to see Mr. Weasley standing there with a look of panic on his face.

"Grab a jacket and get outside!" he cried. "It's urgent!"

My body froze in fear. What was wrong? Ginny, Hermione, and I scrambled out of bed. I grabbed my jacket and ran outside, slipping it on as I did so. The boys were already there, looking around in horror. I was amazed at what I saw.

There were people screaming and running into the woods. I saw a group of hooded and masked figured making their way across the field. There were struggling figures floating above them. The wizards below seemed to be controlling them. My mouth hung open as I watched the scene. It was unbelievable.

"We're going to help the Ministry!" Mr. Weasley shouted over all the noise. I noticed he, Bill, Charlie, and Percy were fully dressed and had their wands out. "You lot- get into the woods, and stick together. I'll come and fetch you when we've sorted this out!"

"C'mon," Fred said, grabbing Ginny's hand and starting to pull her towards the wood.

I ran after them, still very confused. Why was this happening? Were we in danger? My heart pounded as my feet hit the ground.

Once we were safely hidden beneath the trees, Fred looked around to make sure everyone was there. He frowned. "Where did Ron, Hermione, and Harry get to?"

I gasped as I scanned the group. They were nowhere to be seen. "They must have gotten lost," George said.

I stepped up to the edge of the wood. I squinted my eyes, trying to see in the darkness. I caught sight of red hair. "I think I see them!" I cried. I started to run in the direction of where I thought I saw Ron.

"Crystal! Wait!" Fred exclaimed, but making no move to pursue me.

I struggled to push my way through screaming people all making their way to the woods. I ended up falling to the ground when someone ran past my shoulder. I muttered as I stood back up. I frowned when I realized I couldn't see Ron anymore. Uh oh. That meant I was separated from everyone. What was I supposed to do now? I decided to just keep running. I looked behind me as I ran to see if I could spot any of the three missing friends. Suddenly, I slammed into a warm body.

"Watch where you're going," a voice sneered. The person grabbed onto my arms to steady me.

I looked up to see the blond-haired boy I had locked eyes with at the Quidditch game. "S-sorry," I stammered. "I was looking for my friends- they got separated from my group. And now I think _I'm_ lost. Everyone's screaming and I have no idea what's going on." I gave him a pleading look, hoping to gain his sympathy.

The boy frowned, looking thoughtful. He let go of my arms. "Didn't I see you with Potter and the Weasleys?" he asked scathingly.

I nodded, ignoring his tone of voice. "I'm Crystal Hansen. I met them yesterday, and they kindly offered to let me join them at the World Cup. Our dads were best friends at Hogwarts."

The boy scoffed. "I'll forgive you for your ignorance. They're not the sort of friends you should be making. The Weasleys are blood traitors." He looked at me quizzically. "Do you go to Hogwarts? I haven't seen you around before."

My eyes looked around frantically. Why was this guy so calm in the midst of all this chaos? "Shouldn't we be running?" I asked, ignoring his question.

The boy rolled his eyes. "Only Muggles are in danger. Stay with me and you'll be fine," he said nonchalantly.

I still couldn't shake the fear from my body. How could he be so sure? "And who are you?"

The boy stood up proudly. "I'm Draco Malfoy, a pureblood Slytherin."

I blinked in understanding. Slytherin was the house Ron had warned me about. "My dad was in Ravenclaw."

Draco nodded. "That's a good house, not the best though. The worst is _Gryffindor_."

I smirked in amusement. "They say the same about you guys. I'm transferring to Hogwarts," I said to quickly change the subject. "I'm from America. My dad moved there when he married my mom, but now we're back in Britain."

"I see," Draco said. "You naivety shows. If you ever need anything come to me. I know what's what around here. There are only so many people you can trust."

I opened my mouth to respond, but Draco looked up as something green and glittery shot through the sky. It was a large skull with a serpent protruding from its mouth like a tongue. The wood was suddenly full of screams. There weren't many people in the field anymore.

"What is that?" I asked in amazement.

Draco looked at me in surprise. "You don't know? It's You-Know-Who's mark."

"Who is this You-Know-Who everyone keeps talking about?" I asked, growling in frustration. "I'm new here, I obviously don't know who! Why don't you just say his name?" Seriously, was it that hard?

Draco shook his head. "He's a wizard who tried to take over the Wizarding world awhile back. He didn't make it to the Americas, which is probably why you haven't heard much about him. We don't say his name because it's bad luck."

Something suddenly clicked in my mind. "Oh! _Him_! I remember my dad telling me about that." That's when I realized the significance of Harry Potter. He was the baby who had stopped that evil wizard! I smiled, proud of myself for figuring it out. I couldn't believe I knew Harry Potter. He was so famous! It was remarkable.

Draco smirked. He seemed amused at my sudden happiness. "Right."

I noticed how much my eyes had gotten used to the darkness. I would now be able to find my way. "I guess I should head back to my tent. It was nice to meet you."

Draco nodded. "Same here. Just remember what I told you."

I looked at him, but made no signal of agreement. I still hadn't had time to process everything he had said. I ran down the field until I found the Weasleys' tents. I quietly slipped inside one of them.

I noticed that Fred, George, and Ginny were already there. I let out a breath of relief. Everyone was safe. Good. Then I gave them all a weak smile. "I guess I kinda failed at finding the others."

The twins grinned. "Kind of?" they said in unison.

I rolled my eyes and smirked at them.

*

Everyone else got back safely. We only had a few hours to sleep before we headed back to the portkey. When we reached the Weasley house, I said goodbye to everyone before stumbling over to my own home. I knocked twice on the door.

The door opened to reveal my mom. "Crystal! Are you alright?" she asked, hugging me.

"I'm fine," I said, stifling a yawn; I had gotten very little sleep over the past two days. I blinked rapidly to keep my eyes open.

"We heard what happened," Dad said from the kitchen table. He and my sisters were looking at a paper. I walked over to them curiously to see what it said.

The headline of the Daily Prophet read: SCENES OF TERROR AT THE QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP. There was a black-and-white picture of the Dark Mark floating above the trees.

Mom closed the door and walked up to us. She nodded at Dad.

"Girls, I think we need to have a talk about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," Dad said seriously.

It was about time.

***

A few days later, my family joined the Weasleys to buy school supplies at a place called Diagon Ally. Lizzie was originally going to stay home with Mom, but she insisted she come with us. She was very curious about our new home.

Our large group elected to stay together instead of separating to do our own thing. It would take longer that way, but we wanted a chance to get to know each other a little more. It was exciting to see Emily get her first wand. I fondly remembered when I got my own wand. That was a great day.

I led the way into a store that was full of books. I took my leave of my friends and family as I ventured near the back. I stopped when I reached an old bookshelf. I carefully scanned the books, looking for one in particular. I found the one I needed, and tried to take the book. I frowned when I found it was tightly wedged between two other books. I pulled hard, freeing the book.

I gasped when I saw the bookshelf wobble. Before I could get out of the way or pull out my wand, I saw the shadow of someone come up from behind me. The figure caught the bookshelf before it fell and placed it back upright. A few books fell out in the process.

I spun around to find myself inches away from the face of Draco Malfoy. He smirked. "Are you alright?"

"Y-yes," I said, trying to steady my racing heart. "Thank you! I thought I was going to be crushed!"

Draco nodded. "You really need to be more careful."

I blushed slightly and looked away. "Yeah, I know."

"Are you here with your family?" Draco asked, appearing genuinely curious.

"Yeah," I said. "And the Weasleys."

Draco frowned and he narrowed his eyes. His voice grew colder. "I thought I told you to stay away from them."

"You're not the boss of me," I said boldly. "I'm sure they'd have similar things to say about you. I'll be fair and give them a chance and you a chance." I folded my arms. "Deal with it." I gave him a hard look, daring him to say something against this.

Draco chuckled and shook his head. "You are an interesting one, aren't you? You'll learn soon enough. I suppose your sorting will settle things."

I raised my eyebrows. "For you and for them maybe."

"Crystal! There you are." My dad jogged up to meet us. Mom, Emily, and Lizzie were right behind him. "Do you have everything you need?" He looked at Draco, suddenly just realizing he was there. "Who's this?"

I started to respond but stopped when a figure stepped out from behind the bookshelf. He greatly resembled Draco with his blond hair and pointed face. "Mark Hansen," the man said gruffly.

Dad narrowed his eyes at him. "Lucius."

"I haven't seen you since you ran off to the states with that half-blood wife of yours," Lucius said in a dull, cold tone.

Dad glared at him. I could sense tension between the two. "You know why we left."

"Mark, Lauren, what's going on?" Mr. Weasley said, making the way over to us. His family congregated behind him. He looked at Lucius in surprise. "Hello, Malfoy."

Lucius nodded at him. "Weasley. Now it's a party." His eyes swept back to my dad. "I'd like you to meet my son, Draco."

With his eyes cast down, Draco left my side to stand by his father. He did not look too pleased. Dad gazed at him for a minute before looking back up at Lucius. "I feel sorry for him," Dad said. From Draco's expression, so did I.

Lucius looked unphased. "And who are these charming young girls?"

Emily and Lizzie were cowering behind Mom. Dad was standing in front of them protectively. I took several steps back until I was with them. I looked at Draco, but he was glaring intensely at Harry, who had joined our group.

"My daughters, Crystal, Emily, and Lizzie," Dad said.

"Why don't you just go and leave them alone, Malfoy?" Mr. Weasley said impatiently. "We have things to do."

"As do we," Lucius said, glancing at his son. "Come along, Draco." The two of them walked past us. Draco looked back at me for a few seconds, a composed look on his face. I gave him a small smile, but he didn't return it. And then they were gone.

"Good riddance," Mrs. Weasley said. Everyone started to disperse.

Dad wouldn't let me leave. He held onto my arm lightly, giving me a hard look. "Crystal, I don't want you around Draco."

I frowned. "Why not? You don't even know him."

Dad sighed. "I don't have to. I knew his father. Trust me; the Malfoys are not people you want to mess with."

"Maybe Draco isn't like his father," I said indignantly. How could he judge someone without even knowing them? Everyone deserved a chance!

"And maybe he is." Dad gave me a serious look. He leaned in and said quietly, "Luscious Malfoy was a Death Eater, a follower of You-Know-Who. Supposedly he's on our side now, but I wouldn't be too sure."

I shook my head. "I don't see how this relates to Draco. I think I need to know him on his own terms." There was something about that boy that intrigued me. He _had _helped me with the bookshelf, after all. Even if he was like his father, I knew he couldn't be all bad. It was worth investigating.

Dad sighed again. "I admire what you're saying, but I'm just thinking about your safety. I just don't want you to get hurt."

I bit my lip. "I know. I'll be careful."

Dad nodded, looking relieved. "Good. Now let's go buy that book of yours."

I hoped he had not noticed that I had not really agreed to what he had ordered. I did not see the harm in making my own decision as long as I took the necessary precautions. 


	4. Hogwarts

The next morning, I was hurried out of bed by my parents. This was the day Emily and I would make the trip to Hogwarts. We met up with the Weasleys next door. Mrs. Weasley had ordered five taxis to take us all to the train station. My sisters and I crammed into the back of one of them. It wasn't a very pleasant ride.

Eventually, we all made it to King's Cross, the strain station where we would find the Hogwarts Express. I was skeptical that witches and wizards could board a train unnoticed; surely suspicion would be raised. I gasped when I suddenly saw Fred and George walk through a wall. How did they do that?!

Ginny laughed at my expression. "That's how you get to the train, see? It's Platform 9 ¾. It's easy."

"Well, let's go on, girls," Dad said.

I blinked. Were they serious? What if I broke my face into pieces?

"I'll go with you if you want me to," Ginny offered.

I nodded. Ok. I could do it. I took a deep breath before running with Ginny through the wall. I let out a sigh of relief upon not knocking my head off. I looked around my surroundings in surprise. There were numerous wizards and witches with their families. The Hogwarts Express was magnificent. I turned around as the rest of my family appeared.

"Have fun, girls," Dad said.

"Make sure to write," Mom added.

I smiled. "We will." I looked at my youngest sister. "Goodbye, Lizzie."

"Goodbye," Lizzie said. She stepped up to me and gave me a hug. She did the same to Emily.

I hugged each of my parents. Then I turned to the Weasleys. "Bye Mr. and Mrs. Weasley! Thanks for everything!"

Mrs. Weasley smiled. "It was our pleasure. You better get on the train now."

"Goodbye," I said one last time. Emily and I scrambled with our luggage to board the train.

"Come sit with us, mates," Fred said.

Emily and I followed Fred and George into a compartment. There was already a boy inside of it. He had dark skin and dreadlocks. Fred sat next to him and across from George. I sat in between George and my sister.

"Hello, guys," the boy said. "Who are these ladies?" He looked at us curiously.

"They're our new friends from America, Crystal and Emily Hansen," Fred introduced us. "Our dads were friends at Hogwarts."

The boy smiled. "Nice to meet you. I'm Lee Jordan. What year are you two in?"

"Fourth," I said.

"First," Emily said more quietly.

"Don't worry, you'll love Hogwarts," George said.

"What house are you hoping to get in?" Lee asked. "I'm in Gryffindor."

Emily shrugged. "I don't really know much about the houses."

"No problem," Lee said. "I'll explain them to you. Gryffindor is defined by courage, loyalty and noble deeds. Hufflepuff values hard work, tolerance, loyalty and fairness. Ravenclaws are very intelligent and love learning. And then there's Slytherin." George and Fred let out hisses. Lee waved them off. "They're ambitious, cunning, and power-hungry."

"And let's just leave it at that," I interrupted before he could continue. "No need for stereotypes." I smiled sweetly.

Fred rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me you're going to let yourself be influenced by Malfoy." He looked at Jordan. "She was talking with him when we were buying our school supplies."

I rolled my eyes right back at him. "I didn't say that. I just want to find out for myself what he and the other Slytherins are like."

"It's a waste of time," George said. "Just take our word for it. Learn from us."

I looked away defiantly, signaling an end to the conversation. Some people just couldn't let go of their stubborn prejudices.

I heard Lee sigh. "Well, are you two interested in Quidditch?"

"No," Emily said. "I don't care for sports."

"It's alright," I said. "It's fun to watch. I've never really played though. Quidditch isn't that big in America."

All three boys gasped.

I giggled. "The more popular sport is Quodpot. It's like Quidditch but with eleven players on a team and an exploding ball called a Quod."

The twins looked at each other and grinned. "Wicked."

Emily and I laughed. Boys.

*

It was pouring by the time we reached Hogwarts. Thunder roared overhead, and I saw a crack of lightning. I huddled together with Emily as we climbed into a boat with the first years. The lake we sailed across reminded me of the many lakes at home; I just wished we didn't have to cross it with this storm.

I was drenched by the time we reached the castle. This was not a good start. I shivered as I a woman who introduced herself as Professor McGonagall explained to us about our sorting. After she was done, we followed her into the Great Hall where the students ate.

I could see that there were four tables separated by houses. I saw my new friends at the Gryffindor table. They gave me sympathetic smiles, noticing how wet I was. I weakly smiled back at them. I glanced at the Slytherin table. Draco Malfoy's cold gaze met mine. I suppressed a shiver.

Professor McGonagall placed an old dirty wizard's hat on top of a three-legged school. I stared in amazement when it began to sing. It sang about the founders and the houses. I clapped along with everyone else when it finished.

Then Professor McGonagall unrolled a large piece of parchment. "When I call out your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool," she instructed. "When the hat announces your House, you will go and sit at the appropriate table. Ackerley, Stewart!"

I waited patiently for my turn. It didn't take long to get to the H's.

"Hansen, Emily!"

My sister looked nervous as she walked up to the stool. She put the hat on her head before sitting down. After a minute, the hat cried out, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

I smiled at Emily, giving her a thumbs-up as she left to go sit with her new House members. Hufflepuff definitely suited her, but where did I belong?

"Hansen, Crystal!" McGonagall said. "She is a transfer student from America. She will be in her fourth year. Please treat her as you would any other student. Come on up, Crystal."

I nodded, silently thanking her for her words. I picked up the hat and placed it on my head. As I sat on the stool the hat suddenly came to life.

_Ah, Crystal Hansen. I was wondering when I would see you, _the hat said. _Now, where to put you? Let's see... You're loyal, smart, and it seems like you've got hidden ambition. Yes, you envy those who will stop at nothing to get what they want. You want to be remembered and do great things. But I see there are noble motives behind this. You certainly know what you believe. And you desire courage._

I began to tap my fingers on my legs as I waited for the hat's decision. I looked from my Gryffindor friends to Draco. They all were staring at me intently, as curious as I was to find out where I belonged.

_I know_, the house said.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

I grinned as everyone clapped (the Gryffindors being the loudest and the Slytherins the quietest). Draco didn't look too pleased. I ignored this for now and made my way over to my table. George and Fred slid apart to give me room to sit in between them.

"Congratulations," Fred said. "I knew you'd make it in here."

"Welcome home," George said.

I smiled at this, suddenly feeling at peace. Yes, I was home. I patiently waited with everyone else for the sorting to finish.

Kevin Whitby was the last person to be sorted into Hufflepuff. And then the feast began. The empty plates in front of us magically filled with food. I hurried to gather a little bit of everything onto my plate. It all looked so good!

"Crystal, what is your favorite class?" Hermione, who was sitting across from me, asked in curiosity.

Ron groaned. "Must you talk about school already? We just got here!"

I smirked and rolled my eyes at him. "It's potions," I said to Hermione. Everyone around me gasped. I blinked; I wasn't expecting that response. Potions wasn't the most popular class at my old school, but it wasn't shocking for someone to love it. "What?"

"Gryffindors don't generally like potions because of Professor Snape," Ginny explained. "He's the head of Slytherin."

"He hates Gryffindors," Harry said. "Especially me. He's always harsh and picking on us. It's terrible."

I frowned. I could understand. A bad teacher could make even the best class unbearable. "Maybe I'll be different. Potions is my passion. I want to be a potions master someday."

"Better choose a new dream, love," Fred said, shaking his head.

"Don't listen to them," Hermione said with a roll of her eyes. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

I gave her a grateful smile.

After dinner Professor Dumbledore, the headmaster, began to speak. "...It is also my painful duty to inform you that the Inter-House Quidditch Cup will not take place this year. This is due to an event that will be starting in October, and continuing throughout the school year, taking up much of the teachers' time and energy- but I am sure you will all enjoy it immensely. I have great pleasure in announcing that this year at Hogwarts-"

But at that moment there was a deafening rumble of thunder and the doors of the Great Hall banged open. A cloaked man stood there. He made his way up to where the teachers sat. I noticed he had one mechanical eye. He mumbled something to Dumbledore before sitting down.

"May I introduce you to our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?" Dumbledore said brightly. "Professor Moody." He cleared his throat to gain everyone's attention again. "As I was saying, we are to have the honor of hosting a very exciting event over the coming months, an event that has not been held for over a century. It is my very great pleasure to inform you that the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this year."

"You're JOKING!" Fred said loudly. Everyone laughed.

Dumbledore went on to explain what the Triwizard Tournament entailed. It was very interesting. Two other schools would be coming to Hogwarts in October. A champion would be chosen from each school to compete for glory and gold. Everyone grumbled when Dumbledore explained the age restriction of 17. I could see the reasoning behind it. There was no use in inexperienced wizards willingly putting themselves in danger. After that it was time for bed. I was glad; it had been a long day.

I followed Hermione and Ginny out into the hall as the boys stayed back to chat about the tournament. I made a point of trying to remember the path to the Gryffindor common room. I would have to remember the password too.

Hermione and I entered the fourth year girls' dorm. "That was exciting, wasn't it?" Hermione said.

I nodded. "Yeah. I think I'll like it here."

Hermione smiled at me. "Good."


	5. The Plan

At breakfast the next morning, I sat with Harry, Ron, and Hermione as we looked over our course schedules. Fred, George, and Lee were a little ways down discussing ways to get around the Triwizard Tournament age restriction. I thought they were just being silly. It would never work. Why would they want it to? The age restriction was there for a reason.

"Double Divination this afternoon," Harry groaned.

"You should have given it up like me, shouldn't you?" Hermione said. "Then you'd be doing something sensible like Arithmancy."

"I'm taking that," I said brightly. The subject sounded very interesting. It certainly would be better than divination. I didn't really believe in all that stuff. I could tell Hermione thought the same way.

Hermione grinned. "I look forward to seeing you there."

I nodded. "Me too." I looked down at my schedule again. All but two slots were full. But I'd still have quite a load this year. Herbology with the Hufflepuffs was first. After a delightful breakfast, that was where we headed. Herbology wasn't my favorite subject, but it was bearable.

After class, we had our break. I spent the time roaming around outside and talking with Ron, Hermione, and Harry. The sky had cleared up from the storm last night, and it was actually very nice out. I enjoyed spending time in the sun. Soon enough, it was time for Care of Magical Creatures, which was outside too.

After a rather interesting class where our teacher Hagrid explained we would be raising Blast-Ended Skrewts, I headed to Arithmancy with Hermione. It was a rather difficult class, but I was a quick learner. I was sure with Hermione's help that I could get through it. She seemed to be the smart one of my group of friends.

Hermione and I caught up with Ron and Harry on the way to dinner. They seemed to be discussing something. "Lots of homework?" Hermione said brightly. "Professor Vector didn't give us any at all!"

I grinned. That had been one of the bright spots of my day. Now I had some time to do whatever I wanted.

"Well, bully for Professor Vector," Ron said moodily.

I smirked. "Cheer up, Ron."

We soon reached the entrance hall, which was full of students waiting to get into the Great Hall. We had just gotten in line when we heard a voice from behind us.

"Weasley! Hey, Weasley!"

We turned around to see Draco and two other Slytherin boys standing there, each looking thoroughly pleased about something. I hadn't run into Draco at Hogwarts yet. I wondered how he would treat me now that I was a Gryffindor.

"What?" Ron said shortly.

"Your dad is in the paper, Weasley!" Draco said, taking out the Daily Prophet and speaking so that everyone in the packed entrance hall could hear. "Listen to this!

FURTHER MISTAKES AT THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC

It seems as though the Ministry of Magic's troubles are not at an end, writes Rita Skeeter, Special Correspondent. Recently under fire for its poor crowd control at the Quidditch World Cup, and still unable to account for the disappearance of one of its witches, the Ministry was plunged into fresh embarrassment yesterday by the antics of Arnold Weasley, of the Misuse of Muggles Artifacts office."

Draco looked up. "Imagine them not even getting his name right, Weasley. It's almost as if he's a complete nonentity, isn't it?"

Everyone in the entrance hall was listening now. I frowned. I didn't like what was happening. I could see why everyone had warned me away from this guy. Draco read on, "Arnold Weasley, who was charged with possession of a flying car two years ago, was yesterday involved in a tussle with several Muggle law-keepers ('policemen') over a number of highly aggressive dustbins. Mr. Weasley appears to have rushed to the aid of 'Mad-Eye' Moody, the aged ex-Auror who retired from the Ministry when no longer able to tell the difference between a handshake and attempted murder. Unsurprisingly, Mr. Weasley found, upon arrival at Mr. Moody's heavily guarded house, that Mr. Moody had once again raised a false alarm. Mr. Weasley was forced to modify several memories before he could escape from the policemen, but refused to answer Daily Prophet questions about why he had involved the Ministry with such an undignified and potentially embarrassing scene.

"And there's a picture, Weasley!" Draco said, flipping the paper over and holding it up. "A picture of your parents outside their house – if you can call it a house! Your mother could do with losing a bit of weight, couldn't she?"

Ron was shaking with fury. Everyone was staring at him. I couldn't believe him. Why was he doing this? He had never acted like this when he had been talking to me. Was it because of house rivalry?

"Get stuffed, Malfoy," Harry said. "C'mon, Ron..."

"Oh yeah, you were staying with them this summer, weren't you, Potter?" Draco sneered. "So tell me, is his mother really that porky, or is it just the picture?"

"You know your mother, Malfoy?" Harry said. "That expression she's got, like she's got dung under her nose? Has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?"

Draco's face went slightly pink. "Don't you dare insult my mother, Potter."

"Keep your fat mouth shut then," Harry said, turning away.

I glanced nervously between Harry and Draco. I could sense this wasn't going to end well. I didn't like fights. Suddenly there was a loud 'bang' as Draco attacked Harry with some sort of spell. A second later there was a second loud 'bang.' I gasped when I saw Draco transform into a ferret before my eyes.

"OH NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE!" Professor Moody cried. He was running towards us, his wand pointed at the white ferret. He turned to Harry. "Did he get you?" he growled.

"No," Harry said, "missed."

"LEAVE IT!" Moody shouted.

"Leave what?" Harry said.

"Not you- him!" Moody growled.

I saw one of the Slytherin boys who had just frozen, about to pick up the ferret. Moody limped towards the ferret and the two boys. The ferret took off running towards the dungeons. I stared at the scene in bewilderment.

"I don't think so!" Moody roared. He pointed his wand at the ferret again. It flew ten feet into the air, fell with a smack to the floor, and bounced upward once more. "I don't like people who attack when their opponent's back's turned," Moody growled as the ferret bounced higher and higher, squealing in pain. "Stinking, cowardly, scummy thing to do..."

I frowned and shifted uncomfortably. What Draco had done was obviously wrong, but surly he didn't deserve this sort of treatment, especially from a teacher, and a new one at that? It just didn't feel right.

"Never- do- that- again-" Moody said, speaking each word as the ferret hit the stone floor and bounced upward again.

"Professor Moody!" said a shocked voice.

I sighed in relief to see Professor McGonagall making her way down the stairs with books in her arms. Finally. I knew she would bring some order to this situation.

"Hello, Professor McGonagall," Moody said calmly, bouncing the ferret still higher. He didn't seem to see anything wrong with what he was doing.

"What- what are you doing?" McGonagall asked, her eyes following the bouncing ferret's progress through the air.

"Teaching," Moody said.

"Teach- Moody, is that a student?" McGonagall shrieked, the books spilling out of her arms.

"Yep," Moody said.

"No!" McGonagall cried, running down the stairs and pulling out her wand. A moment later, with a loud snapping noise, Draco Malfoy had reappeared, lying in a heap on the floor with his hair all over his face. He got to his feet, wincing.

"Moody, we never use Transfiguration as a punishment!" McGonagall said. "Surly Professor Dumbledore told you that?"

"He might've mentioned it, yeah," Moody said, scratching his chin, "but I thought a good, sharp shock-"

"We give detentions, Moody! Or speak to the offender's Head of House!"

"I'll do that then," Moody said, staring at Draco with great dislike.

I suddenly stepped up, unable to contain myself any longer. "Wait!" I cried. "Hasn't he already been through more than enough?" I could feel everyone's eyes on me. My friends' bore the strongest. I knew what they were thinking. But the sorting hat was right; I knew what I believed in. Draco was looking at me in utter bewilderment.

"Miss Hansen-" McGonagall began.

Moody cut her off. "I can handle it. Hansen, is it?"

I nodded, refusing to back down from his intense gaze.

"You seem like a Gryffindor who knows what's right. Maybe you can knock some sense into him." Moody grabbed Draco by his shoulders and roughly pushed him towards me. "Go, have a nice chat with him."

I was surprised it was that easy. "Come on," I muttered to Draco. He was still a bit dazed, so he followed me willingly. I led him down an empty hall. I turned to face him once I was sure we were alone. My arms were crossed, and I raised my eyebrows.

Draco attempted a laugh, but I could tell he was still ruffled by the whole experience. "Are you going to rant to me about your bloody morals?"

I shook my head. I let my arms drop, and I gave him a sympathetic look. "Are you alright?"

Draco blinked in surprise, obviously not expecting that.

I rolled my eyes. "It looks like Moody beat you up quite a bit. Are you ok?"

Draco stared at me with narrowed eyes, as if trying to figure out some hidden motive of mine. "What do you care?"

I shook my head. "If you haven't noticed, I've never shown any sort of dislike for you- and you for me. And if I remember correctly, you did save me from a falling bookcase a couple days ago; I owe you. What reason could you possibly have to think that I'm not sincere in my concern for your well-being?"

Draco looked at me in amazement. "You're a Gryffindor and I'm a Slytherin, what other reason do I need?" he said in a slightly less hostile tone than before.

"Oh, so you're stereotyping too now," I said. "You know, I think the two Houses and their members have more in common than anyone would care to admit." I leaned the wall with my arms folded.

"I am nothing like those brownnosing do-gooders!" Draco spat.

I raised my eyebrows, determined to remain calm. "Then how come the sorting hat was seriously considering putting me into Slytherin?" The hat hadn't directly told me this, but I could infer what it had been thinking.

Draco looked a bit taken back by this, but he merely shrugged. "Maybe you do belong with us. Maybe you're only fooling yourself."

"And maybe you need to get to know people before judging them," I said with raised eyebrows. This seemed to be a common element of human nature. So why was I so different? Was I put here to change such misconceptions?

"You're gonna break, Hansen," Draco said. "You cannot escape the rivalry for long. Soon enough you'll hate me and the rest of us just like every one of your kind."

"We'll see about that, Draco," I said.

"Don't call me that!" Draco spat. "Only my friends are allowed to call me by my first name."

I blinked. "And why can't we be friends? Oh, right, stupid rivalry. Sorry, I forgot. But you're still not the boss of me."

Draco growled in response.

"Right, I guess I'll be leaving then." I walked past Draco, heading once again towards the Great Hall. I looked back at him one last time, "Have a nice day, _Draco_."

"You'll learn Hansen! You'll learn!" Draco called after me.

I brushed him off with a wave of my hand. I made my way through the entrance hall and into the Great Hall. Several people turned to look at me as I walked over to the Hufflepuff table and sat down next to Emily. I couldn't deal with the Gryffindors just now; I needed time to think about what I was going to say to them.

"Hey," Emily said. "Why are you over here?"

"What? I can't eat dinner with my sister?" I said with a grin.

Emily frowned, obviously not believing me, but she didn't push it. We ate in relative silence.

*

After dinner, I was pacing across the floor of the Gryffindor common room. Fred and George were lazily lying back on the couch. Ginny was sitting down in front of them, watching my every move.

"Don't wear a hole in the floor, you'll fall right through," Fred joked.

I shot him a look. "I'm thinking."

"What's bothering you?" Ginny asked, a look of concern on her face.

I stopped pacing and shook my head. "This rivalry with Slytherin is stupid. Why can't we just all get along?"

"That's not the way it works, love," George said with a sympathetic smile.

"Besides, it's more fun this way," Fred said. "We hate them, they hate us. Just join in. There's no use fighting something that can't be changed."

I frowned. "Says you." My eyes scanned the common room. They stopped when I saw a first year boy. Suddenly, an idea hit me. It was a long shot, but it just might work. "Hey, you!" I called.

The boy looked up at me and blinked. "Me?" he asked, seeming amazed that I was showing him any sort of attention.

I nodded. "Yes, you. What's your name?"

"Dennis Creevey," the boy said with a grin.

I smiled at him. "Well, Dennis, would you like to tell your fellow first year Gryffindors to meet me here after lunch on Saturday? I want to teach you guys some things about the Slytherins."

Dennis' eyes grew wide with excitement. "Ok!" The boy scurried off. I smiled after him.

"It's not going to work," Ginny said bluntly, already guessing at what I was going to try to do.

I shrugged. "Can't hurt to try."

"I'll give you a week," Fred said. He got up to leave. I was amused as to how he was coming to the same conclusion Draco had earlier that day.

George stood up as well. "Good luck, mate," he said softly. "It'd be nice to get along with Slytherin, but then who would we prank?"

I chuckled as I watched them leave. I looked down at Ginny. "Don't worry, I've got a plan."

Ginny rolled her eyes dramatically. "Great." 


	6. A Different Sort of Rivalry

I enjoyed my free period before lunch on Tuesday roaming around the castle, trying to get acquainted with everything. After lunch I had Potions. I headed to the dungeons with Hermione, Ron and Harry. I was very excited, while they were looking quite glum.

"Maybe Snape will like you after all, seeing as how you defended Malfoy yesterday," Ron mumbled.

I rolled my eyes. He had been going on about that ever since the incident had occurred. It was getting rather irritating. "I told you, I did what I had to do."

"Yeah, you had to ruin our fun."

"Oh, leave her alone," Hermione said. "It's in the past. Let it go."

We entered the classroom and headed for the back. Hermione and I sat down at a table together. Harry and Ron gave their friend a dejected look as they sat at the table next to ours. We quietly waited for class to start.

Professor Snape walked into the room and turned to face us. "It appears we have a new student," he said icily. "Crystal Hansen, from the Twin Cities School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?"

I nodded.

"Let's see how well the American schools compare to Hogwarts. What are the ingredients for the Antidote to Uncommon Poisons? And no helping, Granger."

Hermione looked down when Snape gave her a hard look.

I thought quickly on this. "Um, , , and ."

Snape nodded. "Very good. What is the purpose of the Girding Potion?"

"It gives the consumer extra endurance," I replied more confidently this time.

Snape looked at me for a few seconds before saying, "Do we have another know-it-all-in-the class?"

I noticed Hermione blush slightly. I shook my head. "Nah, Potions is the only class I'm extremely good at."

"I'll be the judge of that," Snape said, walking back to the front of the class.

We soon started working on a potion. I took out my materials and got to work. I deviated slightly from the directions, trying to figure out better ways to create the potion. Hermione tried to correct me, several times, but I ignored her. I was satisfied with my end results. Snape wasn't in a very good mood because a Gryffindor named Neville Longbottom had melted his cauldron. Apparently, this wasn't the first time.

Snape walked down the aisles inspecting everyone's potions. I looked up at him when he got to mine. I could have sworn I saw a look of surprise cross his features, but it was quickly gone.

"Very good," he said. "It seems someone in this class may actually have some talent."

I smirked as the other Gryffindors looked at me in shock. I shrugged at Hermione, who had a look of utter disbelief on her face.

As I started walking out Harry and Ron came up to me and clasped me on the shoulders, their previous annoyance obviously forgotten. "That was brilliant!" Ron exclaimed. "I've never seen Snape compliment a Gryffindor before."

"Potions may actually not be that painful this year," Harry said.

"You should sit next to me next class," Ron said.

Harry frowned. "No, she's sitting next to me."

Hermione and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

***

While my friends were anxiously awaiting Moody's Defense Against the Dark Arts class on Thursday, I was dreading it. I enjoyed the class back at my old school, but I had not had a very good first impression of Professor Moody. I rolled my eyes when I saw the Gryffindors lined up at the door of the classroom.

When we were finally let in, I sat in the back with the Slytherins. They gave me uneasy looks. Draco entered last and took the only available seat, which happened to be next to me. He wouldn't even look at me. I rolled my eyes. _Yeah, you're welcome from saving you a detention._

Moody soon entered the room. He gave Draco and I each a long look before addressing the whole class, "You can put those away, those books. You won't need them."

Moody proceeded to teach us about the three Unforgivable curses. He first preformed him on three spiders. I wasn't sure I approved of his methods. Was he allowed to be doing this? After that he lectured and had us take notes. I was glad when it was all over. I hurried out of the room after Draco, but he evades me. With a sigh, I just headed to dinner.

*

Following a pleasant after-dinner walk, I entered the Gryffindor common room to find Harry and Ron working on homework; at the moment they were looking up at Hermione, who was showing them the contents of a box.

"Spew?" Harry said, picking up what looked to be a badge. "What's this about?"

"Not spew," Hermione said impatiently. It's S-P-E-W. It stands for the Society of the Promotion of Elfish Welfare."

I blinked. "I've never heard of it."

Ron and Harry turned their heads to look at me, just noticing my presence.

"Well, of course you haven't," Hermione said briskly. "I've only just started it."

"Yeah?" Ron said in mild surprise. "How many members have you got?"

"Well – if you three join – four," Hermione said.

"And you think we want to walk around wearing badges saying "spew," do you?" Ron said.

"S-P-E-W!" Hermione said hotly. "I was going to put Stop the Outrageous Abuse of Our Fellow Magical Creatures and Campaign for a Change in their Legal Status – but it wouldn't fit. So that's the heading of our manifesto." She took out a sheet of parchment. "I've been researching it thoroughly in the library. Elf enslavement goes back centuries. I can't believe no one's done anything about it before now." She looked at me. "You're from America, Crystal. Surely you can see how the principle of equality applies here?"

I glanced at Harry and raised my eyebrows. Was she serious? Harry looked at me and just shrugged. I turned back to Hermione. "Well, house elves are not exactly _equal_ to us," I said hesitantly.

"Hermione – open your ears," Ron said loudly. They. Like. It. They like being enslaved!"

"Our short term aims," Hermione said, ignoring Ron and speaking louder than him, "are to secure house elves fair wages and working conditions. Our long-term aims include changing the law about non-wand use, and trying to get an elf into the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, because they're shockingly underrepresented."

"And how do we do all this?" Harry asked.

"We start by recruiting members," Hermione said happily. "I thought two Sickles to join – that buys a badge – and the process can fund our leaflet campaign. You're treasurer, Ron – I've got you a collecting tin upstairs – and Harry, you're secretary, so you might want to write down everything I'm saying now, as a record of our first meeting. Crystal, would you like to be vice president?"

"I will if you help me with the Slytherins," I said, figuring this was a chance to enlist her help.

Hermione frowned slightly at the sudden change of topic. "I'm not even sure what you're doing yet."

I gave her a smile as I walked past her to the dorms. I looked back, snapped, and pointed at her. "I'll get back to you on that."

***

Saturday I had control of the common room. I smiled down at the 10 Gryffindor first years gathered around me. They were looking up at me with big eyes, wondering what I was going to say. "Hello all," I said. "I'm Crystal Hansen. I'm here to teach you how to deal with Slytherins." I smiled at them. Blank faces stared back at me. "Now, what have all the other Gryffindors told you about them?"

"They're mean and evil!" a little boy exclaimed. There were murmurs of agreements from the other first years.

"Ok," I said. "How many of you have been treated badly by a Slytherin?" Four Gryffindors raised their hands. "And how many of you have _not _been treated badly by a student of a higher year in any other House?" All hands went down. I smiled. "See? What you know of Slytherins is based solely on stereotypes. They are often based on truths, but they cause you to judge people before you even know them."

I turned when I saw Ginny walked into the common room. I gave her a smile. "Ah, here's my friend, Ginny. Ginny, can I ask you a question?"

Ginny blinked. She looked down at the first years and then back up at me. "Uh, sure, Crystal."

"If a Slytherin sincerely wanted to be your friend, would you accept their offer?"

Ginny seemed to consider this for a moment. "Sure, if they were _truly _sincere."

"Good," I said. I turned back to my students. "See? You can't judge someone based on what House they are in. You could miss out on great friendships because of that."

"But Slytherins judge us as well," Ginny pointed out.

I nodded. "Good observation. Kids, what I see happening is that first years have their opinions about other Houses formulated by students in upper levels. They are changed by the culture of their House. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm sure most of the first year Slytherins are decent – but they won't be after the upperclassmen get a hand on them."

"That's a fair enough observation," Ginny said in agreement. "Slytherins aren't born bad; they're shaped that way because of the people around them."

"Precisely," I said.

"So what do we do?" piped up a first year girl.

"I think you guys need to go out of your way to make friends with the Slytherin first years," I said. "You need to save them before their opinions have been corrupted too much. For next week, I just want you all to smile and say hello to every Slytherin first year you see. Just be friendly to them. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Miss Crystal," the Gryffindors chimed.

Ginny chuckled. "Good luck."

I flashed her a grin. "Thanks!"

***

I spent my free period on Tuesday roaming the school again. By now, I could find my way around pretty well. I turned a corner and stopped when I saw Draco Malfoy standing in my way in the middle of the hall.

"Hansen," he greeted me.

I raised my eyebrows. "Draco."

Draco scowled at my use of his first name. "Why have the first year Gryffindors been acting so nice to the first year Slytherins? When questioned, they all directed me to you."

I shrugged. "I'm just trying to encourage a little inter-house unity."

"You think you can just show up here and tell us all what to do?" Draco growled. "You're trying to infect us with your American nonsense."

"I'm not forcing anyone to do anything, I'm merely providing guidance," I said. "You, on the other hand, seem to think you can tell _me _what to do when you just met me. Let me do as I will."

Draco rolled his eyes. "You will fail. There is no way your little first years can actually make a difference."

I smirked. "What? Scared?"

Draco scoffed. "Not at all." He turned to walk back down the hall. "But if you want a war, meet me by the Black Lake at two with your Gryffindors on Saturday. It's on!"

I frowned, a little confused by this. "What's that supposed to mean?" I called after Draco.

There was no answer.

***

Saturday afternoon I found myself leading my group of Gryffindor first years to the Black Lake. I didn't know what exactly was going on, but I was determined to find out. Draco was already there when we arrived. He was standing in front of what appeared to be the Slytherin first years. He smirked upon my arrival.

"You're not the only one who can train first years," he said. He looked over my group. "Ignore whatever trash Hansen has inflicted on your minds. Slytherins and Gryffindors are rivals for a reason. We're different. We oppose what the other does. Don't mess with the status quo. Try to make friends and you'll just end up getting hurt. The rest of your House seems to know that."

I let out a sigh. I should have known he would try something like this. "Just because we haven't gotten along in the past doesn't mean we can't do so now. We're all witches and wizards. We have more that unites us than divides us. We can accomplish a lot more if we stick together."

Draco narrowed his eyes at me. "You've heard both arguments," he said to the first years. "Anyone who wishes to switch sides, do so now."

I thought this was ridiculous, but I didn't object. We waited for a minute, but no one moved. Suddenly, a Gryffindor boy hesitantly walked over to the Slytherins. Draco grinned triumphantly. I glared at him. Great. Not much later a Slytherin girl made her way over to my side. I smiled, feeling a bit better.

Draco looked at me nonchalantly. "I propose we come back here next Saturday," he said. "Give me your best argument and I'll give you mine. We'll see who can win over more converts."

I nodded. That was more or less reasonable. It was better than bickering all of the time. "Fair enough. See you next week then, _Draco_."

Draco smirked. "I look forward to it."


	7. Expanding the Field

The next few weeks went by quickly. Besides hanging out with Ron, Harry, and Hermione, I got to know Fred and George Weasley really well. I loved being around them. They could always make me laugh and feel better when I was down. The one person I became exceptionally close to was Ginny. I found I could tell her anything. She was quickly becoming my best friend.

Exactly six weeks since our first meeting, I found myself face-to-face with Draco Malfoy and our group of first years. By now, we each had about half Gryffindor and half Slytherin. My relationship with Draco was an interesting one. It wasn't an intense hatred like I saw between him and Harry; it was more like what a rivalry was intended to be. We were always trying to up the other, but we did so in a calm and rational manner. We rarely ever fought. For a reason I could not fully explain, I enjoyed being around him.

"You do realize that I'm winning," I said boldly on this particular day.

Draco raised his eyebrows. "Why do you say that?"

I nodded at his group of first year followers. "You may have won over some of my Gryffindors, but that will be your demise. How can you keep them all together if you're teaching them to hate each other? And if you do join them together against me, they can't hate each other. You can't win, Draco."

At first Draco looked impressed with my argument, but he quickly hid it behind a smirk. "This is just one year, Hansen. What will happen once you're gone? Besides, this is just two houses. There's still tension between the other two Houses, although not as strong."

"Maybe we'll have to start recruiting Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws as well," I said simply.

*

Later that afternoon, I settled myself down to relax on a couch in the Gryffindor common room. A few seconds later, I saw someone sit down next to me. I smiled slightly at the boy. "Hello, George."

"Hey, Crystal," George said brightly. "How's your first year thing going?"

"Pretty well," I said. "I think I'm really getting through to these kids. I'm ready to add first years from the other two Houses."

George chuckled lightly. "You and Hermione have a lot in common, you know? You're both highly motivated in whatever project you're working on – Hermione with spew, and you with your Slytherin-Gryffindor alliance league."

I smiled. I hadn't ever really thought about it like that. "I guess you're right."

"And you're both doomed to fail."

My smile vanished.

"No offense," George said. "I think you'll have temporary success, but I just can't see it lasting."

"You and everyone else," I muttered to myself. Why did no one believe this was possible? Was I really being too idealistic?

"My point is, if you two joined together, you would be an unstoppable force," George said.

"But we'd have to be motivated about the same cause," I pointed out. "We're only reluctantly offering each other support right now."

George gave me a weak smile. "Anyway..." he trailed off. He looked down for a second before back at me. "Can you help me with my Potions essay?"

I blinked. "You're two years ahead of me."

"But you probably still know more than I do!" George insisted. "Fred already has Hermione helping him..."

I laughed. "Alright, George. I'll help you."

George grinned. "Great! Thanks, mate."

***

On Friday, the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students were due to arrive for the Triwizard Tournament. Classes ended a half hour early that day. As I walked into the entrance hall, the Heads of Houses were organizing their students into lines.

I got in line with the Gryffindors. We walked down the steps and lined up in front of the castle. I found myself standing next to Ron. "Nearly six," he said, checking his watch. "How d'you reckon they're coming? The train?"

"I doubt it," I said.

"How, then? Broomsticks?" Harry suggested.

"I don't think so," Hermione said. "Not from that far away."

"A portkey?" Ron suggested. "Or they could Apparate- maybe you're allowed to do it under seventeen wherever they come from?"

"You can't Apparate inside the Hogwarts grounds, how often do I have to tell you?" Hermione said impatiently.

Suddenly Dumbledore called out from the back row, "Aha! Unless I am very much mistaken, the delegation from Beauxbatons approaches!"

A giant black shape was coming towards us from the forest. It turned out to be a giant horse-drawn carriage. It landed with a crash. When a large woman exited the carriage, Dumbledore began to clap. The students applauded with him.

The Durmstrang students arrived in a ship that came up from the Black Lake. The students who exited were wearing some sort of shaggy fur. I watched them in awe. As they passed, I could have sworn I recognized one of the wizards.

"Harry- it's Krum!" I heard Ron hiss. He stared in amazement as the students entered the castle. "I don't believe it! Krum, Harry! Viktor Krum!"

I blinked. "Wow."

"For heaven's sake, Ron, he's only a Quidditch player," Hermione said.

"Only a Quidditch player?" Ron said, looking at Hermione in shock. "Hermione- he's one of the best Seekers in the world! I had no idea he was still in school!" I did have to agree, that was rather shocking.

Ron continued to babble on about Krum as we entered the Great Hall. Harry and I listened to him in amusement, while Hermione looked like she was getting really annoyed. Still, I was grateful when Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement.

After a dinner consisting of several foreign dishes and desserts, Dumbledore explained the procedure for choosing the three Triwizard Champions. Anyone who wished to enter was to drop their name into the Goblet of Fire within the next 24 hours. There would be an age line surrounding the Goblet. I glanced at Fred and George, knowing they would try to figure a way around it. Sure enough, Fred was sure an aging potion would do the trick. Hermione and I were not convinced, however.

***

The next morning Harry, Ron, Hermione, and I headed to breakfast early. We were chatting together when I heard someone laugh from behind us. I turned around to see Fred, George, and Lee.

"Done it," Fred whispered to us. "Just taken it."

"What?" I said.

"The Again Potion," Fred replied.

"One drop each," George said, rubbing his hands together in glee. "We only need to be a few months older."

"We're going to split the thousand Galleons between the three of us if one of us wins," Lee said with a grin.

"I'm not sure this is going to work, you know," Hermione said warningly. "I'm sure Dumbledore will have thought of this."

I nodded my agreement.

The three boys ignored here. They confidently strode up to the Goblet of Fire. I watched as Fred passed the aging line with nothing happening. George cheered and leapt after his twin. But a second later there was a loud sizzling sound and both boys were hurled out of the circle. They landed ten feet away. I laughed when I realized they both had long, white beards.

I smirked. "Nice try, guys."

*

That night at dinner, I waited impatiently with everyone else to find out who the champions would be. Soon, this knowledge was given. Viktor Krum was chosen from Durmstrang. From Beauxbatons was Fleur Delacour. The Hogwarts Champion was Cedric Diggory. I clapped for him along with everyone else. Cedric was a Hufflepuff. I didn't recall ever meeting him.

Just when everyone thought the whole ordeal was over, another name flew out of the Goblet of Fire. Everyone in the hall fell silent, confusion flashed on many faces. Dumbledore cleared his throat and read the name, "Harry Potter."

Harry looked stunned. "I didn't put my name in," he said to his friends. "You know I didn't."

"Just go," I said.

"Harry Potter!" Dumbledore called again. "Harry! Up here, if you please!"

"Go on," Hermione said this time, giving Harry a slight push.

I watched as Harry rose and followed the rest of the champions. This made no sense. What had happened?

***

I found out from Harry that someone must have put his name in the Goblet of Fire. Because the Goblet chose him, he had no choice but to compete in the Triwizard Tournament. I could tell this was something he was not looking forward to. I felt sympathy for him.I had breakfast late on Sunday the next week. Almost everyone had already eaten. I found myself exiting the Great Hall by myself. I turned when I heard a voice call out, "Hey, Hansen!"

I rolled my eyes at Draco, who was looking quite pleased about something. "What is it, Draco?"

"Potter decided to enter the tournament, huh?" Draco said with distance. "How long do you think he'll last? I say ten minutes."

"Harry didn't enter the tournament," I said in annoyance. "Someone else must have entered for him."

"Right," Draco said, obviously not believing me. "It's just the sort of thing he would do, isn't it? He's always after glory."

I shook my head. "You know nothing about Harry. If you actually took the time to get to know him, you'd find all of your assumptions are wrong."

"And why would I do that?" Draco sneered. "He's pathetic. By the way, I already got one Hufflepuff first year to join me- more are sure to follow. They know who the _real _Hogwarts champion is."

My mouth was open slightly as I watched Draco leave. This was not good. I had to get to work! I rushed around the castle until I found my sister walking out of the library. "Emily!" I cried.

Emily raised an eyebrow at me. "Yes?"

"You're joining my gang of first years, aren't you?"

Emily blinked. "Yes..."

I grinned. "Good! Make sure to bring any other Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws you can find!"

"Ok..." Emily said slowly. "Just one question. Are you sure this isn't about you having a rivalry with Malfoy rather than sincerely trying to get people to change? You seem really into it. Do you two hate each other?"

I frowned. "Of course I'm sincere! The 'rivalry' is just part of the process. And, no, we don't hate each other. We just have creative discussions."

Emily blinked. "Right. I just thought it might be a good idea to lead by example. Sure, you're not fighting with the Slytherins, but I don't see you going out of your way to make friends with them like you're telling your first years to do."

I thought about this seriously for a minute. Perhaps she did have a point. It was certainly an interesting idea. Maybe I had been too interested in beating Draco to really focus on living out the principles I was teaching in my own life. "You know what, you're right. I do think I need to change things a bit." I grinned at Emily. Sometimes kids knew best. "Thanks for the advice, sis."

Emily gave me a small smile. "No problem."

***

That Saturday, I stood facing Draco once again. This time we had an equal number of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs on our side. Altogether we each had about 20 first year followers. We stared at each other menacingly.

"You're team Potter then?" Draco said with a scowl. He took off a badge he and his first years were wearing and held it up so that I could see it. It read, 'Support Cedric Diggory – the real Hogwarts champion!' "We're team Diggory. And look-" He pressed a button on the badge and a new message appeared, 'Potter stinks.'

I rolled my eyes. "Very mature. And we will support whichever champion we like, thank you very much. They're both Hogwarts champions and it would be an honor for either to win." My first years nodded in agreement.

"That's not how it works, Hansen," Draco sneered. "There can only be _one_ Hogwarts champion. Just like only one of us will succeed in what we're trying to do here. My task is much easier, though- I have to simply thwart your plans. If I can keep even one member of each house on my side I will have won, and you know it." He crossed his arms and smirked.

"The truth will win out," I growled, glaring at him. "These kids can't be kept in the dark for long."

Draco laughed. "That's what you think? See you next week, Hansen." He looked at his kids and yelled, "Disperse!"

I walked back to the castle with Emily, muttering to myself. That had not gone as planned. Why was he so infuriating?

"So, when are you and Draco going to get together?" Emily piped up.

I stopped dead in my tracks. The question had totally caught me off guard. "What are you talking about?" Where would she get a crazy idea like that?

Emily smirked. "Oh, come on! Isn't it obvious? I could feel the intensity between you two rolling off like waves. If it's not hate, what is it?"

"Frustration from an extreme difference of opinions," I said simply, resuming walking. She was not right. She couldn't be right. I did _not_ like Draco.

Emily smirked. "Right."

I rolled my eyes. "If you'll excuse me, I have business to take care of." I pulled out two large, delicious looking chocolate cupcakes from my bag and smiled. "I made these myself."

Emily blinked. "You bake?"

I shrugged. "The abilities necessary for baking are similar to that of Potions."

"Why couldn't you just take some from the Great Hall?" Emily asked.

"Because Hermione doesn't want me taking any extra 'slave labor' from meals," I replied.

Emily laughed. "Oh, right. I'll see you later then."

I nodded and put the cupcakes away. "Bye." I made my way down into the dungeons, looking for my targets. I smiled when I saw Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. They took no head of me until I spoke. "Hello boys," I said in a friendly tone.

Goyle blinked. "Hi." He appeared taken back that I was talking to him.

"Would you like to join me on a walk?"

Crabbe looked at me suspiciously. "What for?"

"Why not?" I said. "I figured we could be friends."

Goyle crossed his arms. "Why would we want to be friends with you?"

I frowned. "Oh, if you don't want to be friends, I suppose I'll have to find someone else to get rid of these cupcakes for me." I pulled out the sweet treats and held them in front of the boys. "I made them myself."

Crabbe and Goyle's eyes widened. "Uh, we've changed our minds. Maybe we could go on that walk," Crabbe said.

I smirked broadly. "Perfect." It was kind of a superficial relationship, but it would grow in time. I had to start somewhere. And these two seemed like the perfect targets. Hopefully, someday I would be able to move onto Draco. 


	8. Attempting Progress

The next Saturday was an organized trip to Hogsmeade, the only all-wizard village in Great Britain. By then I had had a few more chances to talk to Crabbe and Goyle. They agreed to join me on the Hogsmeade trip; they seemed excited that someone had asked them. I found they weren't that bad once they were away from the other Slytherins. We arrived at Hogsmeade safely. We hadn't gotten far into the village when we heard a voice behind us.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Draco growled.

I spun around and smiled at him brightly. "Hey, Draco! We were just heading to the Three Broomsticks. Wanna come?" I figured he was included in the Slytherins was going to be nice to. Even if he didn't want to give me a chance, I would give him one. Something inside of me really wanted to be his friend.

Draco glared at me. "No, I don't want to come. Crabbe, Goyle, what are you doing with her?"

"We like her," Goyle said. "She's nice to us. She wants to be our friend."

"I forbid you to be friends with her," Draco snarled.

I rolled my eyes. Why did he have to be so bossy and commanding? It wasn't attractive. "You can't just boss people around, Draco." I turned to the other two Slytherins. "Don't let him tell you what to do. Think for yourselves. Do you two, as Vincent and Gregory, have any reason not to like me?"

Vincent and Gregory shook their heads slowly.

I smiled at Draco. "See? You could learn a thing or two from them."

Draco gritted his teeth, obviously seething with anger.

"Come on, Malfoy," Vincent said. "She's not that bad. Come with us."

I heard Draco following us silently as Gregory and I followed Vincent into the Three Broomsticks. It was a nice place. I sat at the counter in between my two new friends. Draco sat next to Gregory, but he scooted his chair a little bit away from us.

"Four butterbeers, please," I said to the bartender. I took out my coin purse and started counting out the money.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Draco asked icily.

I blinked. "I'm buying butterbeer for us."

"I could buy more butterbeer than you could ever dream of," Draco growled. "I don't need your charity."

I couldn't help but laugh. "It's not charity, Draco. I'm doing something nice. It's what friends do for each other."

"We are not and never will be _friends_," Draco spat.

"But she's a Gryffindor who likes us," Gregory said happily, taking the butterbeer that had been placed in front of him.

"Just give her a chance," Vincent said. "She's giving you one."

Draco narrowed his eyes at me. "But she's a Gryffindor."

I raised my eyebrows. "I'm different from the other Gryffindors. You know that, don't you?"

Draco looked away. "You don't really want to be my friend," he said more softly now. "You just want to use me to prove your stupid point. You don't care about me."

I frowned. So, that's what he thought? He had it all wrong. I did like him... "That's not true, Draco," I said just as softly. I cared about him more than what was probably safe. I wasn't even sure why. I had liked him from the beginning, even when everyone else had warned me away.

Draco took a sip of his drink but didn't say anything.

We finished our butterbeers in silence. I wished there was something I could say to him, but I wasn't sure what could make him feel better. When I was done, I hopped off the stool and beckoned for Gregory and Vincent to follow me. I looked back at Draco one last time. "Are you coming?"

Draco shook his head. "Go. I don't need any of you." He looked away, not meeting my eyes.

I let out a heavy sigh. "Come on, guys. Let's go," I mumbled.

Vincent frowned. "What about Malfoy?"

"It doesn't look like he's coming," I said. "We can't force him to." I nodded at the Slytherin boys. They started for the door. I hesitated before walking back to Draco. There was something left I had to do. I placed my hand on his shoulder. He recoiled from my touch, but I didn't pull away. I cast him a sad glance. "I _do _care about you, Draco. I don't know what I can say to make you believe me."

Draco just turned away, refusing to look at me.

I sighed again. I had never felt such a strange mixture of pity, compassion, and desire. I supposed there was nothing I could do about it. I gave him one last long look before following my friends out the door.

*

That night, I attempted to study with Ginny in my room, but my kept drifting back to Draco. I lay on my bed staring up at the wall, my herbology textbook lying face-open on my stomach. My hands rested underneath my head. "I'm sorry, I can't focus," I said apologetically to my friend without moving my position.

"Does this have anything to do with the Sytherins?" Ginny asked calmly.

I frowned and sat up. "Why would you ask that?"

Ginny shrugged as she looked at me. "I saw you with Crabbe and Goyle at Hogsmeade. People are spreading rumors. "Some think you're crazy, others admire your boldness, but a few are calling you a traitor."

"Great," I groaned as I fell back on my bed and closed my eyes. "Is it wrong to want everyone to get along?"

"As long as you don't compromise your own values, I don't see a problem with it," Ginny said thoughtfully after a moment of silence. "Is that what's bothering you?"

I sat up again and shook my head. "It's Draco. He's resisting every attempt I make at befriending him. He doesn't seem to think I really care about him."

Ginny frowned. "He's a tough one. I don't think anyone has ever really tried to get to know him before, which is kind of sad, actually. You've got to earn his trust somehow. Show him that you care about his feelings – like you did when you defended him from Moody."

I thought this over. Perhaps there was something to what my friend was saying. I needed to show Draco empathy. I would have to look for an opportunity. "Ok. Thanks for the advice, Ginny." I gave her a small smile.

Ginny smiled back at me. "You're welcome. Are you ready to get back to studying?"

I smiled sheepishly. "Yes."

***

I had care of magical creatures with Sytherins on Monday before lunch. We were still caring for Blast-Ended Skrewts. They had grown grey, shiny armor over their pale bodies and had begun to look like a cross between giant scorpions and elongated crabs. The males held their stingers over their backs, and were highly dangerous and repulsive. No one enjoyed caring for them.

"This is ridiculous," I heard Draco mutter as I walked over to him at the end of class. "I don't see why we should care for these beasts."

"I'm not a fan either," I said.

Draco looked at me, seeming surprised to see me. His eyes narrowed. "I would have thought you would have enjoyed the experience."

I shrugged but did not respond. I watched as he picked up his bag and turned to leave. I followed him across the grass. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," Draco said shortly.

"You don't seem to be doing too well in defense against the dark arts."

Draco paused. "It's not my fault the professor is bloody mad and insists on holding a grudge against me," he muttered.

"I didn't say it was," I said. "I think he's wrong too. I don't agree with his methods. He should treat his students better and be an example for them."

Draco frowned. "Right."

"Your feelings are as valid as anyone else's," I said. "I'm sorry if no one else has ever thought that."

Draco stopped walking. He turned and looked me over, seeming somewhat suspicious. "What are you playing at?"

"This isn't some game," I said seriously. "I like you. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. I won't judge you."

Draco stared at me for a long time, as if he was unsure whether he should believe me or not. Finally, he turned away and mumbled, "We'll see."

***

Tuesday was the first task of the Triwizard tournament. Everyone was shuffled into bleachers to watch the event. I nervously stood between George and Ginny. Each champion had to get past a dragon to retrieve a golden egg. I was worried for them, especially Harry.

"I do hope he'll be alright," Ginny said with a frown.

I nodded. "Me too."

Cedric, Fleur, and Krum accomplished the task successfully. And then it was Harry's turn. I held my breath as he stepped out. He had the fiercest dragon of them all – the Hungarian Horntail.

I watched as Harry called his boom with a spell. That was impressive. He then used diversionary tactics to get around the dragon. Several times I clung onto George's arm as the Horntail got close to Harry. George finally took my hand and squeezed it to comfort me. I smiled at him gratefully.

Sooner than I expected, Harry swooped down and retrieved the golden egg. I cheered along with everyone else. I grinned at Ginny. "Yes! He did it!" I turned to George and hugged him.

George laughed. "I knew he could do it," he said as he returned my hug.

I saw Fred over George's shoulder, smirking at me. I stuck my tongue out at him. Who cared what he thought?


	9. Of Dating and the Like

Wednesday afternoon, I found myself walking around outside with Vincent and Gregory after lunch. We were talking amiably about random subjects. They seemed happy that I was taking the time to hang out with them. They were not that bad of company.

It was not long before Draco found us near the Black Lake. "I see you're still trying to steal my friends, Hansen," he said with obvious distaste.

"She wants to be your friend too," Vincent said.

I nodded. "I'm sorry if you feel left out, but you're free to join us."

"I don't feel left out," Draco muttered as he came to stand beside me. "I'm fine on my own, thank you."

I glanced at him, unconvinced. "If you say so." I dug into my bag and pulled out a chocolate cupcake. Then I smiled at Draco and held it out to him. "I've got one left. Do you want it? They're homemade."

"No," Draco said gruffly. "We're not friends."

"I'll take it," Gregory said quickly.

"No, I want it," Vincent said, pushing him out of the way.

I looked at Draco with raised eyebrows. "You can stop a nasty fight if you just take it."

Draco rolled his eyes and accepted the cupcake. "Fine. Have it your way."

I smiled. "You're welcome."

Just then, open of my first year Gryffindors trotted past us. "Hi, guys!" he said, waving at us before continuing his stroll.

"This is madness," Draco muttered. "It will never last."

"I think it can," I said.

Draco stared at the cupcake in his hand. "You will never stand with me when real trouble comes along."

I looked at him sympathetically. "You're wrong," I said softly. He did not say anything else, so I turned to the other two Slytherins. "We should be getting back. I have class soon."

Draco followed us back to the castle. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him take a bite out of the cupcake. I smiled slightly to myself.

***

The next two weeks that passed were nothing out of the ordinary. At the end of Transfiguration one Thursday morning, Professor McGonagall made an announcement.

"I have something to say to you all," she began. "The Yule Ball is approaching – a traditional part of the Triwizard Tournament and an opportunity for us to socialize with our foreign guests. Now, the ball will be open only to fourth years and above – although you may invite a younger student if you wish. Dress robes will be worn and the ball will start at eight o'clock on Christmas Day, finishing at midnight in the Great Hall. Now then-"

McGonagall stared deliberately around the class. "The Yule Ball is of course a chance for us all to – her – let our hair down," she said in a disapproving voice. "But that does NOT mean that we will be relaxing the standards of behavior we expect from Hogwarts students. I will be most seriously displeased if a Gryffindor student embarrasses the school in any way."

The bell rang. I hurried out of the classroom with Hermione. "Wow, a ball! This will be fun," I said excitedly.

Hermione smiled. "Yes, a chance for us girls to feel pretty for once in our lives."

"Aw, you're always pretty, Hermione," I said to my friend.

Hermione chuckled softly. "Thanks, Crystal. So are you."

***

After my usual encounter with Draco and our first years on Saturday, I found George waiting for me in the Gryffindor common room like he sometimes did. He stood up from the couch when I entered.

"Hello, Crystal," he greeted me. His eyes looked around the room and he was wringing his hands, as if he were nervous about something.

I smiled at him. I was happy to see him; I enjoyed spending time with him. "Hey, George."

"So, the Yule Ball," George said. "Are you going?"

I merely shrugged. "If someone asks me, yeah." My heart started to beat quicker and I held my breath. He wasn't going to...?

"Oh." I noticed George take a deep breath before looking directly into my eyes. "Crystal, would you like you like to go with me?"

A small smile spread across my face. I suddenly felt very happy. "Yes, George. I would love to."

George looked more relaxed now. He grinned. "Ok, good."

I stepped up to him and hugged him. He immediately hugged me back. We stayed like this for a few seconds before pulling apart. I smiled. I liked George. He was the gentler of the twins – more apt to show his feelings. It felt good to be around him. I was glad he had asked me. I didn't know who else I would have wanted to go with. Someone came to mind, and I immediately pushed the thought away.

"Well, I, er, gotta go find Fred," George finally said. "We have things to do."

I chuckled lightly. "Ok. See you later, George."

George smiled at me as he started to leave. "See you later, Crystal." He winked at me before leaving the common room. I stared after him.

A second later, Ginny appeared through the portrait hole. "Hey, Crystal." She noticed my giddy expression and smirked. "What happened?"

"George asked me to the ball!" I exclaimed, unable to keep it in.

Ginny grinned. "Really? I was wondering when he was going to ask you out."

I gaped at my friend. "You knew he liked me?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "He's my brother, of course I did." I followed her to the couch. We both sat down. "So, I'm guessing you like him back."

I nodded, still grinning. "Yep. Although strangely, I don't think I ever fully realized it until now." For a second I thought of Draco and what Emily had said to me one day, but quickly pushed the thoughts aside. I needed to forget about him. George was sweet, caring, and funny. Draco was arrogant, selfish, and didn't care for me at all. This was no contest, right?

Ginny chuckled. "That happens."

"So, has anyone asked you yet?" I said curiously. Ginny was only in her third year, so she would only be able to go to the ball if someone from an upper level asked her.

"Yes, actually," Ginny said. "Neville asked me earlier this morning. It's just as friends, though."

"That works," I said. "At least you get to go."

Ginny smiled. "Exactly."

I looked up as Harry and Ron entered the common room. I grinned at them. "Have you two found dates yet?"I asked happily.

"No," Ron muttered bitterly. "This is too hard."

Ginny chuckled. "Cheer up, Ron. Crystal just got asked by George."

Ron's eyes widened. "George got a date already?" He grumbled to himself as he walked towards the stairs with Harry.

I laughed and stood up. Hermione entered next. She smiled when she saw me. "Hey, Crystal," she said.

"Hi, Hermione," I said. "Has anyone asked you to the ball yet?"

Hermione smiled bashfully. "Yes, actually. Viktor Krum asked me."

My eyes brightened. "Really? That's awesome! I'm going with George."

"You two seem good together," Hermione said. "This ball is going to be great."

I grinned at her. "Yes, it is."

***

I was in a rather happy mood as I roamed the halls during my free period on Tuesday. It seemed like nothing could get me down. That is, until I heard a familiar voice behind me when I was in an empty hall.

"Hello, Hansen."

I turned around to face Draco. "What do you want, Draco?" I asked in an exasperated tone. I wasn't in the mood to deal with him. I was growing increasingly frustrated with his lack of interest in my offer of friendship.

Draco feigned a hurt look. "That's no way to greet a 'friend.'"

I raised my eyebrows. "I thought I wasn't your friend."

Draco put his hands out in front of himself defensively. "Your words, Hansen, not mine." He folded his arms coolly and leaned against the wall. "So, has someone asked you to the Yule Ball?"

I smirked. This sounded familiar. Guys were so predictable. "Trying to ask me out, Draco?"

Draco made a face. He stood upright again. "Like I would ever do that. I was simply wondering what kind of pathetic loser would ask you to the ball."

I frowned. I had to admit, that hurt. "I love you too, Draco."

Draco quirked an eyebrows at this.

I rolled my eyes. "Sarcasm, Draco!" I sighed. I might as well tell him or he would never leave me alone. "Not that it's any of your business, but I'm going with George."

Draco laughed. He seemed amused at this. "Weasley? Figures. Have fun."

"I'm sure you'll have loads of fun with whatever Slytherin girly girl you're going with," I said sarcastically. I didn't need to take this. Why did he have to go and ruin my perfectly good mood? I turned and began to walk down the hall.

"You were right," Draco called after me.

I stopped and spun around. "Right about what?" I looked at him questioningly. That seemed pretty random. Maybe he just didn't want me to leave. I wasn't sure what I thought about that.

"You're different from the other Gryffindors," Draco said in a lighter tone than before. He started walking towards me. I expected him to stop, but he didn't until he was only inches away. "You would make a great Slytherin," he said softly, staring down at me with unreadable eyes. "We could use you in our House."

I shivered involuntarily. Why was he doing this to me? Why did he have to be so close? I had to think of something to say. "S-same to you, Draco," I managed to get out. "We could use you on the good side."

Draco didn't say anything. I will myself to hold my ground and look back into his eyes. We stared at each other for the longest time. Finally, Draco turned and began walking away. "Such a loss," he muttered to himself.

I shivered again. What just happened?


	10. The Yule Ball

My eyes shot open on Christmas morning. I grinned to myself. It was the day of the Yule Ball. Emily had gone home a week ago with everyone else under fourth year. I was sad to see her go, but at least I would be able to spend Christmas with my friends. That was sure to be fun. And then there was the ball...

Hermione was already up. "Have a nice rest?" she asked with a smile.

I nodded as I sat up. "Yeah. I'm actually glad to be awake." I chuckled. I was known for sleeping in. I glanced down at the foot of my bed and grinned. "Presents!" I said happily.

I grabbed the first box I could find and opened it. I smiled. It was a knitted maroon sweater from Mrs. Weasley with an 'R' stitched on the front.

"You got one too?" Hermione said with a chuckle. "She makes them for all of us every year."

I smiled again, glad Mrs. Weasley already cared for me enough to include me in the sweater-giving. It felt good. I opened Ron's present next. It was a Sweetwater All-Stars shirt. They were a Texas Quidditch team. They were the only American team. I was glad Ron had made the connection. Now I could support Quidditch and my country! Hermione got me a book on the history of wizards and witches in America. She must have had similar thinking. Maybe she conversed with Ron beforehand. I froze when I opened my dad's present.

It was a Minnesota Vikings Chris Carter American football jersey. I turned it over slowly and traced my hand over the giant '80.' It brought a lot of emotion rushing through me. I bit my lip, trying not to cry as I looked over the purple piece of clothing.

"Are you alright?" Hermione asked quietly, suddenly by my side.

"Y-yeah," I choked out. I wiped a stray tear with my arm. "This just makes me miss Minnesota. Even wizards care about football there – it's such a big thing. I haven't seen a Vikings game in ages." I didn't know why the other two presents hadn't gotten to me. Maybe it was because the Vikings were the way Minnesotans expressed their love for their state. And seeing the jersey... It was too much.

Hermione frowned. She put an arm around me comfortingly. "It's alight. You'll be back to visit someday, won't you?"

I nodded, sniffling. I was glad I had a friend there with me. She made me feel better. I was given the strength to move on. I gently put the jersey away. "Thanks Hermione," I said, giving my friend a small smile.

*

I spent most of the afternoon involved in a huge snowball fight with Harry and the Weasleys. It was a great deal of fun. It was only at seven o'clock that we decided to get ready for the ball. I hurried up to my room to put on my dress. It was midnight blue with black sequins. I let my curly hair fall onto my shoulders. I hoped I looked good. Ginny assured me that I did.

My heart pounded in my chest as I walked into the Gryffindor common room. Fred was there with Angelina, a Gryffindor in his year. I smiled when I saw George.

George walked up to me with a smile of his own. "You look beautiful, my lady," he said softly.

I giggled and took his hand. "Thank you." He was so sweet. I was glad that I was with him.

We all walked out of the common room and headed to the Great Hall. The entrance hall was packed with students. I looked around as we waited for the doors to open at eight o' clock. I noticed a group of Slytherins coming up from the dungeons. Draco was in front with Pansy Parkinson clutching his arm. Gregory and Vincent were behind them. I gave them a small smile. Draco was staring at me with a look I couldn't understand.

I turned around just as the doors of the Great Hall opened. George took my hand and led me inside. The place was beautiful. There was snow gently floating down halfway as light as feathers spilling out of pillows during a pillow fight at a sleepover. We sat down and then the Champions processed in with their dates. I saw Hermione with Viktor Krum. She looked amazing. I gave her a smile as she passed by. She returned one in kind.

Once the Champions had a seat at a special table, it was time for the meal. My nervousness soon left me. I had a great time chatting with George, Fred, Angelina, Ginny, and Neville.

After eating, Dumbledore told everyone to stand up. He waved his wand and all of the tables zoomed to line the walls. Along the wall a platform suddenly appeared, along with musical instruments. We all clapped as the Weird Sisters, a wizard band, walked on stage.

The lights were dimmed. The Champions stood up and led their dates to the center of the room. A few seconds later they, started dancing. I watched them with a smile. Harry didn't seem to be having a good time, though. That was too bad.

"Crystal?" George said with a grin.

I turned around and smiled at him. I noticed other couples had started to dance. I took George's hand and walked onto the dance floor. I continued holding his hand and placed the other one on his shoulder. We smiled at each other and we slowly revolved on the spot. This wasn't so bad for my first slow dance. It felt kind of nice. I liked dancing with him.

George and I slowly dropped our hands as the song ended. We smiled at each other nervously. "That was nice," George said, subbing the back of his neck with his hand.

I nodded. He was cute when he was awkward and nervous. I supposed I was feeling the same. I had never gone out with a guy before. "Yeah." Another song started up, a lot faster this time.

George grinned. "Let's dance then."

I smiled. "Alright." We started dancing again. It was fun and a great way to release pent-up energy. We both laughed when it ended. I was glad we had loosened up a bit. We continued dancing through the next three songs.

"Wow, that's quite a workout," George said at the end of a song.

"Yeah," I said in agreement.

"I'm going to go get some punch," George said. "Do you want some?"

I shook my head. "No thanks. I think I'm gonna go get some fresh air." I needed some time to steady myself after all that dancing.

George nodded. "Alright. See you soon!"

I smiled. "Right." I watched him leave before I turned around. I made my way outside. It even looked beautiful out there. The hedges were cut nicely. There were a few random couples hiding behind some of them. I chuckled to myself.

I was walking along a stone path when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me behind some shrubbery. "Hey!" I cried. "What do you-" I stopped when I saw Draco Malfoy standing in front of me. I frowned. "Oh, it's just you." He was wearing black velvet dress robes with a high collar.

"That's not a proper welcome," Draco said.

I rolled my eyes. "Sorry. Why, hello, Draco," I said dramatically. "Why are you kidnapping me on this fine evening?"

Draco smirked. "I'm not kidnapping you."

I raised my eyebrows. I didn't get it. Was this some sort of game? It wasn't funny. "Where's Pansy?"

"Never mind that," Draco said with a hint of annoyance in his voice. He looked me up and down. "Wow, you don't look bad."

I blinked. "Thanks?" I supposed that was the best compliment he was capable of giving me.

Draco stepped closer to me. "Would you like to dance?" he asked softly, sending shivers up and down my spine.

I swallowed hard. I couldn't seem to find my voice. "I- uh, I-"

Draco took that as a 'yes.' He slid his arms around my waist and successfully closed the space in between us. I carefully wrapped my arms around his neck, even more nervous than I had been before. I stared into Draco's eyes. He appeared calm and confident, like always. I could hear the music drifting out from the Great Hall. We slowly swayed to it.

This was much different than dancing with George. But was it 'bad' different? I couldn't tell. All I knew was that Draco made my emotions spin out of control. He seemed to have me in some sort of trance. I was fixated on the spot. I had to stop looking at his eyes, so I rested my head on his shoulder. He immediately wrapped his arms around me tighter. I sighed. What was happening to me? Was I falling for him?

It took awhile for Draco to let me go, even after the song had ended. I didn't like how I did not mind. I took a big step back because he wouldn't. I looked at him in confusion. "What was that about?"

Draco smirked. He stepped closer to me again. "What? It was a harmless dance between friends." He trailed his fingers down my bare arm, causing me to shiver again.

"Don't," I whined. I didn't like what he was doing to me. No, I _did_. That was the probably. But what the prospect I didn't like most was that he was just playing with me, so then I added, "Don't... unless you mean it."

Draco quirked an eyebrow. "That will not be a problem." He put his arms around me again and pulled me back to him. Smirking, he leaned in and kissed me.

My eyes widened in shock. A split second later I found myself instinctively kissing him back. I placed one hand on the back of his neck and the other in his hair. I couldn't think. I couldn't understand what was going on. All I could do was continue to kiss him. It felt good. It felt better than anything I had ever experienced before. I didn't want it to stop.

All too soon, Draco pulled back. He was still smirking. He looked satisfied. He was still standing close to me, his arms around me.

My brain felt all foggy and dizzy. "What?" Suddenly, my senses returned to me. "Draco!" I glared at him.

"What?" Draco asked innocently.

"I'm on a date with George!" I exclaimed. I was partly mad at myself for not being able to resist him. What had gotten into me? I roughly pushed him away from me and took several steps back. My heart beat quickly in my chest.

Draco frowned in irritation. "So? It's just a dance," he said. "It doesn't mean you're dating."

I sighed in frustration. "Maybe not yet. Why do you think he asked me? He likes me and I like him. That's what people do when they like each other. They ask them to dances or just plain out ask them out."

Draco narrowed his eyes slightly. "Has Weasley asked you out yet?"

I frowned. "No. But he probably will soon. Unless I'm already taken by then..." I trailed off. I don't know why I said the last part. Was I hoping Draco would ask me out? I didn't think he would do it. He was too proud to ask out a Gryffindor.

"I don't know what you see in that guy anyway," Draco sneered. "You're too good for him."

I was bewildered at this. I placed my hands on my hips. "Oh? And you think you're so much better?"

Draco shrugged. "Weasley's too simple for you. He's never serious. He thinks life's a game. He can make you laugh, but he won't make you happy. You need someone with intelligence to match yours; someone you could have deep and meaningful conversations with; someone who won't just agree with everything you say."

I frowned. "George is kind, caring, sweet, and loyal. I know he will always be there for me. And he has a good heart." Though, what Draco was saying... Was he complimenting me? Did he genuinely like me? That sure was something. It was a great improvement from the previous status of our relationship.

Draco crossed his arms. "You mean he's a Gryffindor."

I shook my head. "That's not what I meant at all, Draco."

"Yes, it is," Draco said. "You think he's better than me. You'd rather be with someone like him than give someone like me a chance." He took a step closer to me. I nervously stepped back. "What have I ever done to show dislike towards you? Am I really that bad? I thought you didn't judge people, Crystal."

I blinked. Did he just call me by my first name? I shook it off. "Do you want to know what would really impress me? How about you do something nice for someone for a change?"

Draco stepped closer to me again. "I always get what I want," he growled.

"Then you should have asked me to the dance in the first place!" I hissed.

Draco took one of my hands in his. "I'm asking you now." He touched my arm with his free hand again. A shiver ran through both my arms.

"Stop that!" I cried, jerking away from him. My heart was beating rapidly. "You're messing everything up!" I had already figured everything out. Why did he have to come and tempt me away from my decision? I had to get out of there, so I turned around and ran. When I got to the Great Hall I stopped and looked behind my shoulder. Draco was not following me. Figures. I should have known he would never go after me. Not that I wanted him to or anything...

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. Once I was ready, I casually strolled into the room. I saw George and Fred talking together and walked towards them.

George smiled when he saw me. "Hey, Crystal. Are you ok?" He frowned slightly.

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound convincing. "I'm just tired. How about one more dance?"

George smiled. "Sure."

"Have fun, you two," Fred said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes as George led me onto the dance floor. The ball certainly had been interesting. I wasn't so sure that was a good thing. 


	11. Torn

The next day was Saturday, so I slept in late. By the time I woke up, I had already missed breakfast. In fact, it was almost time for lunch. I had woken up to the sound of tapping on my window. I got out of bed and strolled over to it.

I opened the window and an owl flew into my room. It was holding a bouquet of flowers. I took the flowers and the bird flew off. I looked at the flowers curiously. They were daisies. Half of them were red and half of them were green. The colors were interesting. I didn't think they were natural. They must have been charmed to look like Christmas colors. There was no note. They had to be from George. I couldn't imagine Draco sending them.

Speaking about Draco, I had to figure out what to do about him. I needed advice. I got ready and headed to the common room. Luckily, Ginny was there working on a puzzle. "Hey, Ginny," I greeted her. I gave her a weak smile. I was nervous about what I was about to say.

Ginny looked up and smiled at me. "Oh, hey, Crystal."

"Can we talk?"

Ginny nodded. "Of course." I took a seat on the couch next to her. "What's the problem?"

"It's a friend's problem, actually. A friend from Minnesota. I just got a letter from her," I said quickly. Maybe it was stupid, but I didn't want her to know about Draco. It might make her biased.

"Go on," Ginny said gently.

"Well, she likes this guy and he likes her back," I said. "He's a great guy- nice, funny, sweet. But there's this other guy. He's a bit rough around the edges, to say the least. Kind of a bad boy, you could say."

Ginny nodded. "Ok."

"Both guys like her and I-my friend likes them back. She thinks the first guy would make a great boyfriend, but there's just something about the second guy that keeps pulling her in. Who should she choose?"

Ginny frowned. "I don't know, Crystal. That's something your friend will have to figure out for herself. I don't know the boys. Is the second guy sincere in liking the girl? Can she trust him? Is she only considering the first guy because he offers comfort and security and she's afraid of taking a risk with the second guy?" She shrugged. "I guess the best thing you- your friend can do is follow her heart. That seems to usually work for me."

I smiled, feeling slightly better. At the very least, it was good to hear someone else's opinion. "Ok. Thanks, Ginny. I'll make sure to let her know."

"No problem," Ginny said. "If you ever need me, I'm here."

"Thanks," I said. "You're a good friend, Ginny."

Ginny smiled. "I try. Tell your friend I said 'good luck.'"

I nodded. "Will do."

I started roaming the halls after I left the common room. Follow my heart.... What did that even mean, anyway? I was always one to follow my brain. My brain told me it would be wise to stay away from Draco. My brain told me that choosing him would just open myself up to get hurt. George was the safe choice. Even if he broke up with me, he would find a nice way to do it to cause as little pain as possible.

But wasn't that what Ginny warned me against, choosing someone because it was the safe choice? It seemed like I did that a lot. I was not a risk taker. I suppose I had my past to blame for that. Then why was this so hard? Was my heart really choosing Draco? Or was this just some silly infatuation that would soon be gone? Why couldn't Draco be satisfied with the friendship I had been offering him? Wasn't that enough?

"I need a sign," I muttered. A Ravenclaw looked at me weirdly as she passed by. I just shrugged. "This is too hard!" I turned and banged my head on the wall.

"Trying to get me off your mind?" a cocky voice said.

I lifted my head and blinked. "Draco?" My voice was a mix of confusion and hope. I hated how I was always happy to see him. But... Why was he here? Was this my sign? Did this mean I was supposed to choose him? Did I _want_ it to mean I was supposed to choose him?

"Yes," Draco said in the same confident tone. "Who were you expecting?"

I rolled my eyes. I didn't like the way he said that. "Go away. I'm trying to think." Maybe it was a sign against him. I needed to be alone. I didn't need him cloudy my thoughts. I was afraid of which conclusion I would come to.

Draco smirked. "Why think about me when you can be with me?" He stepped towards me.

I quickly backed away before he could do anything. "Draco, don't." My heart started to beat faster. Now I really needed to get away from him.

Draco frowned. He seemed irritated. "What? Did Weasley ask you out already?"

"No," I said sharply. "I haven't seen him since the ball, actually." I don't know why I admitted this to him. He didn't need to know.

Draco smirked.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "And don't you ask me out." I sighed. "I'm afraid of my answer." I don't know why I said this either. It was bad for him to know how much I wanted him. It was bad for _me_ to know. This was all his fault. Why couldn't he have just left me alone? Why couldn't being friends be enough?

Draco frowned again. "You're full of contradictions. Last night you told me that's what guys are supposed to do when they like a girl."

I let out a sigh. "Yes. But I never said I liked you..." He did like me. I knew that for sure now. I wasn't sure if that was so great. I made everything much harder.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Come on! You expect me to believe that?" He reached up and touched the side of my face with his right hand.

The contact made my skin tingle. There was no denying the way my emotions were reacting to him. I frowned. I gently pulled his hand away from me as I spoke. "I'm attracted to you, yes. But that doesn't mean I like you." That was right, wasn't it? Did I like him? I did know I wanted to be with him, if that meant anything.

Draco blinked. He appeared confused. "What's the difference?"

I shook my head. "There's a world of a difference, Draco. I'm the one contradicting myself? You'd let the whole school know you're dating a Gryffindor?"

"Of course not," Draco scoffed. "I would never let anyone know."

I frowned. I should have known. Well, there was my answer. I didn't want to be with someone who didn't care about me enough to face what would happen if everyone else knew about us. "Thanks a lot, Draco," I said softly. I couldn't hide my disappointment. Maybe it was my fault for thinking he could be better than he was. I turned around.

"Crystal!" Draco called after me, his voice undetectable.

I spun around to face him. Why couldn't he just let me leave? "Don't call me that. Only my friends can call me by my first name, _Malfoy_," I said scathingly.

"You wouldn't let the whole school know," Draco said bitterly. "You wouldn't even want them to know if we were friends."

I raised my eyebrows. "How do you figure?"

"The Slytherins would think I was just messing around with you," Draco said. He shrugged. "Sorry, but that's how things are. They would not stop bugging you and making fun of you. Plus, most of the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs would hate you."

I sighed. "Ok, I get the point. Now can you please leave me alone so I can think this through? I'm going to need a few days." Even if this was all understandable, I didn't know if I wanted to go through it.

Draco gave me a long look. "Fine. But I will win in the end."

I rolled my eyes. "Not with that attitude you won't!" Why did he have to be so arrogant? I didn't like it. So why was I so attracted to him? It had to be more than just looks. I had never been that shallow. Maybe I just craved tension. Maybe I was crazy.

Draco smirked. "We'll see about that," he said with a wink.

As he left, I leaned against the wall before sliding to the floor with my hands on my head. Even if I did choose George, would I be able to control myself around Draco? I needed a second opinion. I couldn't decide this on my own. I was afraid of letting my heart choose. What if it led me straight into a death trap?

*

I found Hermione in the library frantically reading a book. She seemed really focused. I hesitantly made my way over to her. "Hermione?" I said carefully, not wanting to disturb her.

"What?" Hermione asked without taking her eyes off of the book.

I frowned. This wasn't going to work. I needed to get her attention. "What are you reading?" I tried to make my voice sound light and curious.

Hermione set her book down and blinked her eyes rapidly. "I'm not quite sure," she admitted sheepishly. "I just needed to occupy my mind." She glanced at me, her expression hinting of dismay. "Did you want something?"

"Is everything alright?" I asked in concern. It would have been rude to delve right into my own problem. I first needed to make sure my friend was fine. "Didn't you have fun at the ball last night?"

Hermione let out a heavy sigh. She averted her gave to the floor. "I was having fun until Ron ruined everything." She looked at me and made a face. "Boys are so daft. Why can't they just say what they're feeling?"

I blinked at this. Did Ron and Hermione like each other? Well, I certainly had seen something between them. I thought they were both too oblivious to figure it out. Maybe it was just Ron... "Do you like him?"

Hermione blinked in surprise. "What? Me? Like Ronald? Of course not!" she said indignantly.

I raised my eyebrows at her. Did she really expect me to believe that? "Hermione..."

Hermione's shoulders sagged, and she looked down at the table glumly. "Fine," she mumbled.

I smiled in satisfaction. Good. It was better when people just admitted things like this. Something suddenly struck me. "Why did you go to the ball with Krum?"

Hermione shrugged. "Because I like him. He's nice and treats me well. And if Ron wasn't going to ask him... Well, I deserve somebody, don't I?" She looked at me with curious eyes.

I nodded. "Of course." I took a deep breath. It was time for her opinion. "What if Ron wasn't so dense and Krum was more cocky and arrogant, but you still liked him and he liked you? Who would you choose?"

Hermione blinked in surprised. She seemed taken off guard. "I, well, I suppose I would choose Ron. I mean, why risk someone who could just end up hurting me? I have higher standards than that. He would have to prove himself to me first before I would consider going out with him. A guy she would work to win a girl's heart." She smiled. "Too bad not many guys are so noble these days."

I shrugged. "Yeah. It would be helpful. I sat down across from her to take a load off my feet. I think I found what I was looking for. It all made sense. I would just have to stick to my conviction the next time I saw Draco. I hoped I would come across George first. He was my only hope out of this situation.

***

I never found George alone during the next few days. He was always with Fred or his other friends. I hung out with Ginny and Hermione a lot. They were good company. This particular afternoon, I turned a corner to find Harry staring out the doors at a couple sitting close together near a tree. I recognized the couple as Cedric and Cho Chung, a girl from Ravenclaw. The way Harry was staring at the girl made me think he liked her.

"Hey," I said, making my way over to him.

Harry blinked in slight surprise, but his eyes quickly regained their dim composure. "Oh, hi, Crystal."

I followed his previous gaze to Cedric and Cho. I looked back at Harry, already guessing what was going on. "You didn't have fun at the ball either?"

Harry frowned. "Who else didn't?"

I shrugged. "Hermione, Ron, me..." I trailed off, not wanting to draw attention to myself. "Well, I did. Mostly. At least Ginny and Neville had a fully good time." I couldn't say I hated the ball. It had been fun dancing with George. If not for the interruption...

"What happened with you?" Harry asked with genuine interest.

I shook my head. I didn't want to talk about it with him. I knew what he would say. Besides, I had already made my decision. "Don't worry about." Needing to change the subject slightly, I asked, "Do you like Cho?"

Harry immediately looked down. "Well, yes," he said softly. "I tried to ask her, but it was too late. Cedric got to her first."

I gave him a small, sympathetic smile. It must have been tough to have finally worked up the courage to ask her and then be turned down. No wonder he didn't have a good time at the ball. "You've just got to be confident and ask a girl out right away before someone else takes her," I said gently.

"Can I try that?"

I gasped when I heard George's voice. I spun around to smile at him happily. It was so good to see him. He winked at me. I felt my body tingle with excitement. He wanted to ask me out! "Well, you could be more romantic than that," I said with a smirk.

George chuckled. "True. Why don't you come with me then? If you don't mind, mate," he said, glancing at Harry.

Harry shook his head. "No, go ahead!" He gave me an encouraging smile.

I grinned. "I'll see you later, Harry!" I skipped over to George and took the hand he offered to me. It felt warm. He smiled down at me before leading me down a hallway.

We stopped when he reached an empty classroom with the door propped open. Streamers of red and green were hanging down the sides of the doorframe. Where the two streams met at the top of the frame, mistletoe was hung. It stared at the scene in awe. "George..." I breathed, unable to think of anything else to say. My mind was spinning.

George smiled slightly. He led me halfway through the doorframe so that we were standing directly under the mistletoe. I turned to face him. I gazed up into his soft, gentle eyes. I was unable to look anywhere else. He gently stroked my cheek with his left hand, causing my breath to catch in my throat. "Crystal," he murmured.

Then he leaned down and gently brought our lips together in a kiss. Endorphins rushed through my brain, creating endorphins within me. The kiss was simple and sweet. I liked it. We were both grinning by the time he pulled away. I was too happy to think about anything else.

"Crystal," George began softly. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

My face lit up at this. I immediately threw my arms around his neck. George laughed and hugged me back. "Yes, George, I will." 


	12. Friendship

I was glad it was Christmas break. There wasn't a horde of youngsters to taunt and tease George and me as we cuddled on the couch in the Gryffindor common room. His arm was around me, and my head was gently resting on his chest. We didn't need to say anything. Just being with each other was enough. I felt very peaceful, like all my worries had been washed away. Surely it didn't get better than this? I knew I had chosen rightly.

"I've got to go, love," George whispered in my ear.

I frowned. I didn't want him to live. I wrapped my arms around him in protest. "No," I said defiantly.

George chuckled lightly. "Sorry. I have to meet Fred." He bent down and kissed the top of my head.

I reluctantly let go of him. "Fine," I muttered. "I'll find something else to do." I looked at him disapprovingly.

George outright laughed at this. "I know you'll be fine on your own," he said as he stood up. He winked at me before heading out of the common room.

I tried reading the book Hermione had gotten me for Christmas for awhile, but I soon became restless. I needed to talk a walk. I didn't mind spending time on my own. My thoughts weren't haunting me like they sometimes did, so I had nothing to fear. I casually strolled through the castle, eventually making my way up to the seventh floor.

When I turned a corner, I nearly froze upon seeing Draco pacing back and forth along the hallway. He seemed to be thinking hard about something. He didn't even take notice of me as I stood by to watch him curiously. Finally, he stopped walking and looked up at me, his face showing surprise. He quickly composed his body into its usual arrogant stance. "Hansen, come with me."

I didn't have time to ask what he meant, for he turned and walked towards the wall. But it wasn't a wall anymore. There was a door there. I blinked in bewilderment. When did that get there?! As Draco opened the door, he looked back at me with raised eyebrows. I hesitated before following him inside. I found myself in a small living room type room. There was a cozy couch in front of a coffee table with two comfy chairs on either side. The whole place was nicely decorated. "Where are we?" I asked in wonderment.

"This is the Room of Requirements," Draco said as he came to stand beside me. I turned and looked at him, blinking. The what? "It shows you anything you want or are in need of. You just have to walk across the hallway a few times to make the door appear."

"Wow," I said, amazed. I had never heard of anything like that before. It was pretty cool. "Does everyone know about it?"

"No. We have to find it on our own." He smirked. "Only the most intelligent do so. You would have found it eventually." I smiled slightly, unsure of whether this was a good compliment or not. "It's nice and secluded here. I thought we could come here to talk without being bothered by anyone else."

"You mean without anyone else knowing we're associating with each other?" I said bluntly.

Draco stared at me calmly. "If you want to put it that way, yes." He turned so that he was fully facing me. "But I prefer my own wording." He reached up his right hand and gently touched the edge of my face, pushing my hair back.

My skin tingled form where he touched it. My breathing was starting to come out irregularly. I had to stop this. I had to take control of the situation before I gave into my own feelings. "Draco," I said softly. He held me in a surprisingly gently gaze. I swallowed. "George asked me out." His expression hardened, and I could feel his hand tense on my face. I hesitated before continuing, "I accepted."

Draco immediately dropped his hand. Scowling, he turned around and took a few paces forward. "Why would you go and do something like that?" He turned to fix his hard gaze on me.

I narrowed my eyes slightly. "Maybe because I like him?" Really, hadn't I explained this all to him before?

"But you want _me_," Draco challenged.

I swallowed. I couldn't deny it. I tried hard to keep my voice steady. "That's why it's more dangerous."

Draco let out a dry laugh. "I thought Gryffindors weren't supposed to be afraid."

I rolled my eyes. "There's a difference between being brave and being stupid."

Draco's eyes narrowed. "Going out with me is stupid?"

I faltered. "That's not what I meant." Why was it so hard to deal with him? How was I supposed to look after myself and give him a fair chance? It seemed impossible in regards to the world of romance. Maybe that was where I was supposed to draw the line... "I know George better. I know we're compatible and get along. I'm not saying that could never be you and me. I just want us to be friends first so that I will know if pursuing a relationship would be worth it." I looked at him with desperate eyes, pleading with him to understand.

Draco crossed his arms and looked away, clearly not happy about the situation. "Fine. But why did you have to go out with Weasley? Am I not worth waiting for?"

I let out a heavy sigh. "We like each other, Draco. I didn't want to miss out on something great just because I'm waiting on you. If it's not meant to be, it won't work out. So don't worry. If you want, we can meet here to talk and get to know each other." I cast him a hopeful glance. I liked him. I really was sincere in my attempt to be his friend. It was what I had wanted from the beginning.

Draco groaned and ran a hand through his blond hair. "Ok," he mumbled. He stepped closer to me again so that he was nearly towering over me. He gazed at me with intense, heated eyes. "But I'm not giving up on you."

A shiver ran down my spine. Did I _want_ him to give up on me? That was what I should have wanted... I had to swallow before I could speak. "Just don't do anything to ruin my relationship with George."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Yeah, fine."

I smiled weakly at him. "Good." I paused, unsure of what else to say. My work there was done. "Well, I'll see you later." I turned to leave, but Draco grabbed my arm to pull me back. I looked at him questioningly.

"Why can't we start this 'friendship' thing now?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

I blinked at him. Truthfully, I didn't think he would want to start talking now. I thought he would be too upset about everything else. "Ok," I said coolly. "What do you want to talk about?" His hand was still on my arm. I glanced at it and he let go.

"What are we going to do about our first years?" he asked coolly.

I thought about this for a few seconds. "Well, we've already taught them a lot, so I think we should give them this semester to go off on their own and show us what they've learned. No more debates unless needed. I think it will be simpler that way." I shrugged. I wasn't too interested in arguing with him anymore. At least not like that. I would prefer private, intelligent discussions.

Draco nodded. "That sounds fair enough." He smirked. "But I'm still going to win." I rolled my eyes as I watched him walk over to the couch and sit down. He motioned for me to do the same. I sat on the other end of the couch, leaving the middle seat in between us. He frowned but didn't say anything. "So, who do you think is going to win the Tri-Wizard Competition?"

I considered the question carefully. It wasn't one I had thought about much. "I don't know," I admitted. "They all seem pretty good. But if I had to pick, I'd have to say I think Krum stands a good chance." He was a professional Quidditch seeker while he was still in school. That had to mean something.

"I think Diggory is going to win," Draco said with pride in his voice.

I smirked slightly. "Are you sure you're not just biased?"

"No. Hogwarts is the best. Why shouldn't our champion win?" He frowned. "Sure, it would be better if it was a Slytherin, but we've still got it covered." He smiled confidently.

I chuckled. The situation seemed kind of ironic. "I thought you didn't like Hufflepuffs," I mused. I didn't dare bring up Harry. I knew that would be a touchy subject, and I didn't want to anger him.

Draco made a face. "We've got a common enemy."

I smirked. "Right." It reminded me of American football. It was sometimes needed to support one rival against a bigger rival. It was never fun, but it sometimes had to be done. I wasn't sure if Draco was talking about Harry or Fleur and Krum as being the enemies. I decided it didn't matter.

Draco leaned back and stretched his legs out in front of him, letting them rest on the coffee table. He had a very casual and relaxed appearance to him. "So, Crystal, if we're going to do this whole 'friend' thing, you should tell me about what your life in the States was like."

I blinked, caught off guard by both the question and his use of my first name. I wasn't sure what to say. "Uh, what do you want to know?"

"How does the Wizarding world differ?"

I wondered why he wanted to know. Was he really curious? Well, I supposed it was a good thing. I had to reflect on what I knew about the European Wizarding world and then compare that to my experience in America. "We've adopted a lot of American ways, especially in regards to liberty. Blood status does not matter _at all_. Wizards frequently marry muggles. We participate in many muggle activities, including muggle sports. We've all got muggle friends. It can sometimes be hard to tell us apart. It helps with keeping our existence a secret. The really only secluded wizard places are the schools and a few neighborhoods."

Draco had a very thoughtful expression on his face. "I see," he murmured. "Interesting..." He put his feet down and leaned in closer to me. "By the way, I like your accent."

My eyes widened. Now, _that_ was totally unexpected! "You're the one with the accent!" I exclaimed. And it was pretty cute, at that.

Draco chuckled. "You're the foreigner. _You_ have the accent." He leaned back again. "Well, would you like to debate Wizarding politics between our countries?"

I brightened at this. Debating could be fun, especially if it was a true debate and not outright arguing. "Sure," I agreed. "If it's just a creative discussion with no personal insults or things like that."

"Of course not," Draco said. "It will be an intelligent discussion."

I smiled. He was so much different now than he had been in the past. Maybe it was because we were alone and he didn't have to worry about appearances. Or maybe he was just comfortable around me. Whatever the case, I liked it. A lot. "Ok. Lead us off."

*

I was smiling to myself as I happily entered the common room a little while later. I had enjoyed the time I spent with Draco immensely. I looked forward to seeing him again. Ginny was inside the room when I entered, reading a book. She looked up at me and smile. "Hi, Crystal," she said cheerfully. "Were you with George?"

I blinked at the question. "No. I was earlier. He's with Fred now. Why do you ask?" Maybe she was looking for him or something.

"Oh," Ginny said, looking at me curiously. "You just seem really happy."

My smile returned to my face. "I was just taking a walk on my own. I guess that makes me happy. It's good to have time with my thoughts to recharge." I didn't dare tell her the real reason. Maybe I would one day. Ginny was a good friend; I could trust her. I just didn't know what she would think right now. Thankfully, she didn't ask any more. I thought back to her original question. "I do wonder what George is doing, though," I mused. He and Fred were always off doing something suspicious. It made me highly curious.

"I don't know what you see in him," Ron mumbled as he walked down from the boys' dormitories. "He's bothersome."

I smirked. If only he knew about Draco, then he wouldn't say anything bad about his brother. "Jealous, Ronald?" I teased.

A puzzled expression crossed Ron's features. "What?"

"Oh, right, you like Hermione!" I grinned.

Ron's mouth fell open in shock. "What?! Come here!"

I laughed as he began chasing me around the room. I was in such high spirits I didn't think anything could bother me. Amazing, right? Ginny just watched us with an amused look on her face.

Just then, Hermione walked into the common room from outside. She looked upon the scene with obvious disapproval. "What's going on? Why are you two acting like children?" she asked testily.

Ron froze in his place. He watched Hermione with his mouth slightly open. "I, uh, I've got to go!" he said quickly. He then dashed out of the room.

Ginny and I laughed. Hermione blinked, probably not sure what had just happened. I grinned as I made my way over to her. "Don't worry, 'Mione," I said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "It's all good." 


	13. The Vikings

It was the last day before the second term of the school year. I had spent quite a bit of time with George, both as friends and alone. I knew we would both be busy when school resumed, so I cherished the time we had together. I also always looked forward to seeing Draco, who I had been meeting with in the Room of Requirements every two or three days. I was on my way to see him now. I was sporting my Chris Carter jersey. He hadn't seen it yet. I wondered what he would think about it. It was a muggle shirt, after all.

Draco was already sitting in the room when I entered. I could have sworn I saw his eyes brighten the tiniest bit, but I must have been imagining it, for it was gone as soon as it appeared. He stood up to greet me. "Crystal," he said with a nod.

I smiled. I liked it when he used my first name. It made me feel special. "Hello, Draco," I said warmly.

Draco glanced down at my jersey before looking back up at my face, his eyebrows raised. "What's that shirt supposed to be?"

"It's a football jersey," I stated simply. I decided to start with that and see where the conversation led.

Draco furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Football? That muggle game where you kick the ball around a field?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "That's soccer, but in Britain it is called football." I was impressed that he knew about the sport though. "In America we have our own football. It's an oval-shaped ball. There's a lot of passing, running, and tackling. It's kind of violent and a lot of fun to watch." I grinned.

Draco blinked. "Oh. So why are you wearing the jersey?"

"Because it's a Vikings jersey. The Vikings are Minnesota's team," I explained. "Like I told you before, American wizards get into muggle sports almost as much as muggles do." I shrugged. "It helps us show our pride."

"I see..." Draco said skeptically. He made his way over to the couch. We both sat down in our usually places. "I still think Quidditch is superior."

"You know, the rivalries between football states remind me of the Hogwarts houses," I said with a smirk. This was something I had been thinking about a lot recently. I was glad I would finally be able to explain it to this boy.

Draco frowned. "How so?" He seemed almost skeptical, but he willed me to go on.

"Well, it's how house rivalries _should_ be," I corrected myself. Draco seemed interested now. Good. I spoke calmly and placidly as I continued. "Each football team is in a division of four teams. They're all rivals, with two teams often being arch-rivals."

"Like the houses," Draco said with a nod. "Who is the Vikings' Slytherin house?" He raised his eyebrows with interest. He was just as calm as I was, one hand on the arm rest and the other by his side. He appeared totally at ease.

I smiled. "The Packers. They're the team of Wisconsin, which is the state right next to Minnesota. The two teams _hate_ each other. The games between the two are always intense. Even outside of football, there is tension between people from both states."

"Sounds like Slytherin and Gryffindor," Draco said.

I nodded. "Except there's no categorization traits like there are for the houses. You're loyal to a team based on where you grew up, for the most part. The quarterback is the hardest and the leadership position. It's kind of like the seeker in Quidditch. Typically, he is the most popular player. He represents the team. If you have a good quarterback, you're golden."

"So, do rival teams hate the quarterback the most?" Draco asked.

"Right," I said. "The Packers love to bash ours. He's a pretty good player."

"What about the Packers' quarterback?" Draco said, a hint of something undetectable in his voice. He was leaning in closer to me now. "Do you hate him?"

I hesitated. I knew where this was going. But it wouldn't work. He thought he had gotten me, but I would turn it around on _him_. "The Packers' quarterback is Brett Favre," I began slowly. "He's..." I searched for the right way to describe him. "... probably the best quarterback out there, and maybe the best player. He's like Viktor Krum. A lot of people love him. Packers fans are obsessed with him. Their rivals hate him just as passionately as his team loves him."

"Does that include you?" Draco pressed.

"Yes."

Draco smirked.

"But let me qualify that!" I said quickly. Draco stared at me with raised eyebrows but didn't interrupt. "It's not real hate. It's rival hate."

Draco frowned. He looked at me in confusion. "What's the difference?"

I smiled. I was happy to explain. "Real hate is where you loathe a person or thing to the point where you wish it didn't exist anymore. There is nothing redeemable about what you hate. You wish you wouldn't have to deal with it. But rival hate is different. The Packers or Brett Favre never did anything to me to make me hate them. I hate them based on principle. It's because we're rivals and hating each other is what we're supposed to do."

I paused. "Rivals have a certain amount of respect for each other. I would be crazy to deny Favre's skill. I respect him as a player. And though I hate it when the Packers win, I respect them for winning and will congratulate them. And I don't wish they didn't exist. Actually, I would be devastated if the team went away."

"Really?" Draco mused. I couldn't read his expression. He seemed to be having trouble taking this all in. "Are you sure you're not just fooling yourself to try to make a point?"

I shook my head. I could see how he would reach that conclusion. But I was being totally honest. "It's true. What fun would football be without the Packers? Who would I argue with during games? What team would I feel special joy in beating? Rivalries are supposed to be fun. They motivate both players and fans to get excited and do their best. Competition brings out the best in both teams. We make each other better. We need each other. We would defend each other against teams we had a reason to have real hate against. In a way, we love each other."

Draco's eyes widened in surprise. "That makes no sense! How can you love a team you hate?" He seemed totally bewildered.

I chuckled lightly. "There's not a fine line between love and hate, Draco. They're not opposites. They're both passionate feelings. They could easily switch. When someone you love betrays you, sometimes you feel hate, right?"

"Ok," Draco said slowly. "I get that. But what about hate to love?"

A smile tugged on my lips. "That happens sometimes with romance, doesn't it? Two people spend a lot of time hating each other, and then one day they realize they're in love."

Draco gave me a long stare. "I'm not buying it."

I chuckled and shook my head. I chose to move on from that example. I knew it could be hard for boys to understand romance. "I think there's almost an element of jealous with rivals. We hate it when the Packers win because we wish we had won. And I really think we would love Brett Favre if he joined the Vikings..." It was just a suspicion. Any other Vikings fan would have argued vehemently against this.

Draco laughed, but it wasn't a positive one. "Really?" He shrugged. "I guess can I see that. But wouldn't he be mad to go to the Vikings? Don't the players hate their rivals?"

I tilted my head to the side as I considered this. "To a degree, but I think they get the point of rivalries better than the fans do. It's fun to play against each other. And they often have friends on other teams because they switch around so much. They're all after the same goal. There's a certain mutual respect. But like you said, Favre would never leave the Packers. He's far too loyal to them, which is admirable, I must admit. I was just speaking hypothetically. If Favre ever left the Packers and joined the Vikings of all things, then I think that would be a sign of the end of the world." I nodded very seriously. That was how I saw things.

This time Draco laughed for real. "You're amusing, Hansen." He grinned at me. "Are you saying Gryffindors are jealous of Slytherins? Do you wish you could be ambitious and go after what you want like us?" He smirked.

"Yeah," I answered bluntly. There was no point in denying it. "But Slytherins are jealous of us as well. I can see how you are."

Draco frowned. He looked at me warily. "How so?"

I gave him a small smirk. "I think you wish you had the courage that we do to stand up for what is right. You want to be a hero. You want to be admired and loved for doing something great. I think that's why you try so hard to assert your superiority."

Draco shook his head and looked away. "You're mad. I desire no such thing."

I watched him carefully. Somehow, I didn't believe him, but I knew it was best to drop it. "If you say so," I said softly.

*

"Why are you wearing that shirt, love?" said George.

"Yeah, muggle sports are silly," said Fred. "Quidditch is where it's at."

I rolled my eyes at the twins. I was sitting on the couch between them in the Gryffindor common room later that day. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. They were always teasing me about my football loyalties. They were worse than Draco. "Football is a fine sport popular among wizards in America," I said in a matter-of-fact tone. "There is nothing wrong with being a fan."

George grinned. "But Quidditch is still better."

I shook my head. I decided to drop the football thing and focus on Wizarding sports. "Actually, Quodpot is a lot more fun. We have an exploding ball."

Fred shrugged. "Sure, but we've never played it, so we still say Quidditch is the best."

George grinned and nodded. "Right you are, mate."

I rolled my eyes again. This was impossible. I stood up, saying, "Well, if that's what you think, I'm just going to take a walk around the castle." I enjoyed taking walks along. They were a time to think and reflect on life.

George immediately stood up beside me. "May I come along?" he asked hopefully. He gave me an adorable smile.

I couldn't help but smile back. "Of course."

George grinned. He took my hand, and we started for the door.

"Have fun, you two!" Fred called after us.

George waves at him as we walked out. Once we had reached a hallway, he let go of my hand and looked at me with a mischievous smirk. "I'll race you to the other side!" he challenged.

I raised my eyebrows. "Isn't that against the rules?"

George chuckled. "Now you're catching on. What do you say?" He looked at me expectantly.

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Fine." I took off a second after my boyfriend did. It wasn't very romantic, but it was loads of fun!

***

All good things must come to an end. As such were the Christmas holidays. On the bright side, I got to see Emily again after all that time. We started to catch up as I helped her unpack in her room. "How was the ball?" she asked with a smirk.

I shrugged. "It was alright," I said nonchalantly without looking at her.

"Just alright?" she said in disbelief. "I thought you looked George."

I immediately turned to face my sister. "I do!" I said quickly. "It was great dancing with him. I had a lot of fun." I gave her what I hoped was a convincing smile. I didn't want to tell her about Draco just yet. I knew what she would say, and I was not ready to hear it. It didn't know if I ever would be.

"Oh, that's good," Emily said with a small smile. She suddenly smirked. "Did he ask you out yet?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. This time, she was actually right. "Yes, he did." A smile tugged on my lips. It made me happy to think of George. He was so kind, sweet, and funny. I was glad that he was mine.

Emily grinned at me. "That's great!" She hesitated. "Although, I still think you'd be better with Draco." She looked away disinterestedly as she put her clothes into her drawer.

My eyes widened. Why would she mention Draco? I had just nearly told her that I was perfectly happy with George! There was no reason to bring him up. "I would most certainly not," I said indignantly. "George is much more suitable for me. He actually shares my values." I wasn't judging Draco or anything. We were still friends. I just had to have a higher standard for my boyfriend. I had a right to look after myself.

"Maybe Draco would be better if he had you to influence him," Emily pointed out. She didn't look at me. She was still busy unpacking. I wasn't sure if she was speaking out of wisdom or silly childish fantasies.

I frowned. "We're friends. I can influence him that way. But he doesn't even want anyone to know we are friends, so how could we date?" It seemed pretty simple to me. I would have hated to keep a relationship a secret. I wanted to be proud of my boyfriend and let everyone know who he was.

Emily finally turned to look at me, a dreamy expression plastered on her face. "But forbidden love is so romantic!"

I let out a sigh. "Yes, but I don't think it really lasts in real life. There are too many problems." I shrugged as I busied myself with unpacking my sister's clothes.

"Maybe those people just don't try hard enough," Emily pointed out. She waited several seconds before continuing. "I just don't see it with you and George. He's a great guy and all, but he seems a better friend for you than a boyfriend. I think someone else could do better."

I frowned as I continued to work. We did not speak again, but I could hear my sister's words ringing in my ears. They were similar to Draco's, though put in a much nicer tone. Could they both be right? Was I settling by going out with George? Was that really such a bad thing? 


	14. Mistaken

It took awhile to get back onto the swing of things, but eventually I got school back down. I was happy about being able to take potions again. That was something I had missed over the break. Professor Snape was very critical of me, but he could not often find much wrong with my work. I think he developed a sort of respect for me. My fellow Gryffindors admired me for this. I was just happy that I was able to please the teacher of my favorite subject.

At the end of the first two weeks, there was a Hogsmeade trip. George and I went together. We walked into the town hand-in-hand. It was rather peaceful. "Where would you like to go first, love?" George asked me with a smile.

I thought back to what I knew lay in Hogsmeade. "I want some chocolate," I decided.

George chuckled. "Let's go to Honeydukes!"

I grinned when he let go of my hand so that he could link his arm with mine. Together, we skipped off to the shop. I had only been there once before, but I already loved Honeydukes. It was a chocolate paradise. I made sure to buy a little bit of each kind. I needed to store up until my next visit. George found it all very amusing. Guys never did seem to understand chocolate. Oh well. It was their loss.

Afterwards, we just walked around for a bit. I enjoyed it. It was good just to be close to my boyfriend. We didn't have much alone time together. It didn't last long. George insisted we visit Zonko's Joke Shop. It wasn't really my thing, but I wanted to make him happy. It was there that we met up with Fred. He was alone. So naturally, after talking to him for a bit, George invited him to tag along with us.

"That is, if it's alright with my lady," George said, giving me an impish grin.

I couldn't help but smile. As much as I didn't want Fred to intrude upon our "date," I found it hard to deny George anything. Especially when he looked at me like _that_. "Of course."

"Thank you mate," Fred said, bowing to me.

I giggled.

George smiled at me before kissing my cheek. "You're the best," he whispered in my ear.

I blushed slightly. "Let's get going!" I said to cover my embarrassment.

After checking out another shop, we found ourselves in the Three Broomsticks. It was also a place I enjoyed. It was good for a refreshing drink. Plus, it was a good break from the outside cold. We had just gotten to the counter when I heard a familiar voice say, "Hey, Hansen, fancy seeing you here. I thought I would find you in better company."

I spun around to face Draco in surprise. My friends were surprised as well, but they were not nearly as happy about it as I was. George was glaring at him. "Get lost, Malfoy," he said. "And leave my girl alone."

"Yeah, get out of here," Fred added.

Draco raised his eyebrows. "I wasn't bothering her. I just thought I'd buy her a butterbeer," he said in a formal way, his hands behind his back. "She bought me one once, and I thought I'd return the favor."

I hid the smile that was starting to creep onto my face. I couldn't believe he would confront me like this in public. Typically, he just avoided me when he saw me around school. This made me happy in a way I couldn't explain.

George looked at me incredulously. "You bought him a drink?" He shook his head in disapproval. "I don't know about you."

I merely shrugged. "I told you, I don't discriminate against Slytherins."

"It's not that he's a Slytherin," Fred said. "It's that he's _Malfoy_."

"Let her make her own choice," Draco nearly sneered. "She can decide for herself."

I gave each of the twins a serious look. "He's right. I'll let him do this. Maybe you should leave us alone for a few minutes."

George frowned. He appeared uncertain. "I don't know about this."

I gave him a gentle smile. "I'll be fine. I promise."

George let out a long sigh. "Fine." He turned to his brother. "Let's go over there, George." They both gave Draco one last hateful look before making their way to the other side of the cavern.

I sat down on one of the stools. I smiled at Draco when he took the one beside me and then ordered two butterbeers. "Why are you here?" I asked quietly. We had to keep our voices low so that no one would pick up on our conversation.

"I wanted to see you," Draco said plainly.

I smiled, suddenly feeling warm inside. "But isn't it bad if someone catches onto us?"

Draco seemed to consider this for a minute. Finally, he said emphatically, "Maybe I don't care. It's the worth the risk."

I thanked the bartender when he handed me my drink. I considered Draco for awhile. He just stared at me with an unreadable gaze. "Why don't you show anyone else this side of you?"

Draco blinked. "What side?"

I smiled. "You know, the side where you're everything everyone else thinks you're not."

Draco frowned. "But that's not how everyone expects me to be. I can't disappoint them."

I rolled my eyes. I wanted to dismiss this immediately, but I had a troubled feeling that there may actually have been something to what he said. "It's a shame," I said, glancing down at my butterbeer. At least I knew who Draco really was. I took great comfort in the fact that he was willing to show me.

***

The weeks passed by uneventfully. My times was either spent with school work, George, my friends, or Draco. Sometimes the first three intermixed, but never the last. Draco was proving himself to be good company. If we disagreed about something, we discussed it intelligently instead of arguing. I appreciated it. I knew he didn't give that to everyone, if anyone else at all.

It was great to be around George. He wasn't particularly romantic, but he was a good friend. He was always there for me when I needed him. When nothing was really wrong, though, he was more prone to joke about everything. It was fine. I didn't mind too much, but I was beginning to wonder if that was just because I had someone like Draco to talk to about other things. I shrugged the thoughts off. I was glad to have George as my boyfriend; that was the end of the story.

Soon Valentine's Day arrived on a Sunday. I wasn't quite sure what to expect from George. He was there waiting for me in the common room when I got up. He grinned when he saw me. "Happy Valentine's Day, love."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. He immediately hugged me back. "Happy Valentine's Day, George," I whispered.

When we pulled away, he was smiling back at me. "Let's go to breakfast." He offered me his hand and we set off.

We spent the whole day together. We didn't do anything out of the ordinary. We just hung out and had fun. After dinner, though, as I was snuggled up to his side on the couch, I was antsy for something more. "We should do something romantic," I murmured.

George chuckled. "Like what? A walk outside under the stars?"

I smiled. I pulled away so that I could look up at him. "That actually sounds nice."

George returned my smile and said, "Let's go then."

As we stood up, I was suddenly reminded of something. I was hesitant to speak. "You know, I almost expected flowers from you. You did such a good job with them on Christmas. Or the day after, I should say." The flowers has someone been preserved by magic. I kept them in my room. They were beautiful to look at.

A puzzled expression crossed George's face. "Flowers? What flowers? I never sent you any."

I blinked in surprise. That I had _not_ been expecting. I was almost certain it had been him. "Someone sent me red and green flowers for Christmas..." I trailed off, realizing I probably sounded pretty stupid.

George frowned. "I hope it's one of your girlfriends who sent them and not some other guy."

"That's probably it," I said. I shrugged. "I'll figure it out later." But I was still wondering about it as we walked outside into the cool air. How could I have been wrong?

***

Over the next couple of days, I ended up asking several people about the mystery flower-giver. Hermione and Ginny didn't do it and they had no idea who did. When I asked Harry and Ron, they responded awkwardly in the negative. Fred just laughed at me. I even went to Emily. I thought that maybe the flowers had come from a family member.

Emily shook her head. "It wasn't any of us. But it sounds so romantic." She let out a dreamy sigh.

I rolled my eyes. "Great. I have a secret admirer." I didn't need any more guys liking me. Two was enough.

Emily smirked. "I bet it was Draco."

I widened my eyes. "What?! Why would he do that?" Though, maybe I had been too quick to dismiss him. It was best to check everyone.

Emily raised her eyebrows. "Because he likes you."

I let out a heavy sigh. "Fine. I'll go ask him."

Emily grinned. "Good luck."

I waved her off as I walked away. I didn't know where Draco could be. I didn't have the patience at the moment to wait for our next meeting. Thankfully, I found him roaming one of the halls around.

"Draco!" I said in a low voice as I was about to pass him. I grabbed his arm and pulled him into a nearby empty class room. I closed the door and leaned against it.

Draco stared at me with raised eyebrows, though he seemed amused by the situation. "What's wrong, Hansen?"

I took several breaths to calm myself. I looked at him with a very serious expression. "Do you know who sent me flowers the day after Christmas?" I thought this was better than just asking if it was him.

A smirk appeared on Draco's face. "Yes."

I waited for him to say more, but he didn't. I growled in frustration. Why did he have to make it difficult? "Who?"

Draco continued to smirk. "Me."

I gave him a long stare. "You? Really?" I couldn't believe it. Draco Malfoy actually sent me flowers.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Of course it was me. Who else? It took you long enough to figure it out."

I frowned. "I thought George sent them..."

Draco let out a laugh. "Like Weasley would think of doing that? Did you not understand the colors?"

I blinked. How could I not understand? "Green and red. For Christmas."

Draco let out an exasperated sigh. "No. Green and red for Slytherin and Gryffindor." He seemed bothered by having to explain.

My eyes widened in understanding. "Oh!" He had gotten me flowers the day after the ball. The day after he had kissed me and I ran off... And it was to symbolize some sort of unity between our houses. Or at least us. Wow. I never would have expected this from.

"You did tell me to do something nice," he mumbled.

He appeared awkward about it. It was actually pretty cute. It was so thoughtful of him. I couldn't believe he hadn't told me. My face was bright as I smiled at him. I felt happy and excited. "That's so sweet," I said softly. Before I knew what I was doing, I had pulled Draco in a hug. He tensed in surprise, but he slowly wrapped his arms around me as well. I smiled. This felt really good. "Thank you," I whispered. I pulled back my face slightly and kissed him on the cheek.

As I started to pull away, I found myself trapped by his eyes. They were deep, yet they held some emotion I couldn't understand. I was captivated by them. I don't know if either of us had control of our bodies anymore. We both leaned in at the same time. A shiver ran through my body when his lips hit mine. I couldn't pull away. I move my arms to around his neck and pulled his head closer to mine. I was filled with way too many emotions to explain, but they were all good. The kiss was soft and gentle.

I found myself dizzy and lightheaded when Draco broke the kiss. He rested his forehead against mine and gazed into my eyes. "Crystal..." he murmured.

My heart thudded against my chest. I couldn't think about any repercussions now. I just wanted to be with Draco. I knew he felt the same. But was it for the right reasons? "Draco..." I said just as softly. "Why do you want to be with me?"

Draco took his right hand from my waist so that he could press it against my cheek. It was warm and made my skin tingle. It was nothing like when George touched me. "You're smart, beautiful, and level-headed," he said. "And you make me feel things I've never felt before. It feels good to be with you. And you're so different from everyone else I've met. You've got ideas and values that actually make sense and that you stick to. You actually seem to care about me. You correct me, but you don't judge me. I find myself drawn to you for more reasons than I can explain. I don't want to lose this." His face showed nothing but sincerity as he spoke to me.

I was in awe as I listened to him. This was what I had always wanted... from _any_ guy. "Draco," I mumbled. It only felt right to tell him about my feelings in return. I placed my left hand over his that was on my face to keep it there. I closed my eyes for a few seconds to breath in the feeling. When I opened my eyes, I found myself gazing at him steadily. "I _do_ want to be with you too. I like you. I know there's much more to you than what everyone thinks. I'm beginning to see who you really are and I like him. I know you're good. I feel drawn to you as well. I think I was running away because I was scared. I didn't think you could protect and take care of me the way George can." My eyes showed their worry and uncertainty.

Draco furrowed his eyebrows and frowned. He released his left hand and cupped my cheeks. He pulled his head back so that he could look at me better. "Crystal," he said in a firm voice. "I would _never_ do anything to hurt you. Not on purpose. Maybe I won't always be able to be enough for you, but I would try. I would do anything to protect you and make sure you were safe. I haven't cared for many people the way I care for you."

Staring into his eyes, I found that I believe him. How could I not? It amazed me. I wasn't even sure what I was feeling. I needed some space to think things through. I dropped my hand. "I have to go," I whispered.

Draco hesitated, but he nodded and released my face. "I will see you later, Crystal," he said quietly.

I gave him a small smile as I turned to leave. "See you later, Draco." 


	15. The Right Choice

I spent much of the next few days avoiding everyone I knew. I just needed to be alone to think everything through. Finally, I knew what I had to do, though there was one detail I wanted confirmation about. I decided to seek out Ginny. I brought her to my room after classes on Friday. We were both seated cross-legged on my bed. My friend was watching me curiously. "What's this about, Crystal?"

"I have a hypothetically question," I began. I still wasn't ready to tell her the whole story. It would come in time.

Ginny blinked. "Ok. What is it?" She gave me an encouraging smile that made me feel more at ease.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I had thought of how to word this a million times, but nothing came to my mind at the moment. I decided to just open my mouth and speak. "If you're going out with a guy, but you find that you'd rather be with a different guy, is it wrong to break up with your boyfriend to go out with him?" I gave her a weak smile. I knew many people would find what I was proposing as bad, but how could it be?

Ginny frowned, but soon a thoughtful expression overcame her face. When she spoke, she spoke slowly and deliberately. "I don't think it's _wrong_. But what are your reasons? Are you bored with your boyfriend and want someone new? Do you have a fear of commitment?"

I nodded. That seemed fair enough. "I guess those are things to consider. What if that's not the case? What if you were wrong to go out with your boyfriend in the first place? What if your heart truly wanted the other guy? Should you not break up with your boyfriend because you don't want to look bad?"

"I can see how that would happen," Ginny said. "I'd just say to not make it a habit. If it's a onetime thing, I don't see the problem. If you're really better off with the other guy, then you'd be doing you and your boyfriend a favor by breaking up with him. There's no point in continuing to go out with someone if you'd really rather be with someone else. It's not fair to either of you."

I small smile crept up on my face. That was what I needed to hear. "It wouldn't look like the other guy was 'stealing' the first guy's girlfriend?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Not if he doesn't pressure you and it's your choice. It that is how things are meant to be, than it is how they should be."

I gave her a genuine smile now. "Thanks, Ginny. That clears a lot of things up for me."

Ginny smiled at me in return. "No problem. But George is going to be disappointed."

I blinked at her in surprise. "What? I wasn't talking about myself!" I hoped I didn't look nervous as I shifted my eyes around uncomfortably.

Ginny smirked. "Sure, you weren't." She got off my bed and headed for the door. Glancing back at me, she said, "Good luck, Crystal."

I waved as I watched her leave. When she was out of sight, I lay back on my bed and groaned. I really didn't want to talk to George. I hated confrontation; I was afraid of his response. But I knew I had to do it. And the sooner the better. I vowed I would tell him the next time I saw him alone.

***

By Monday afternoon, I still hadn't found George alone. I was contemplating on asking him to meet me somewhere, when I nearly ran into him by the Black Lake. I looked up at him, startled. "George!" I exclaimed.

The red-headed boy grinned. "Too busy thinking about me to watch where you're going?" He winked.

I smirked and rolled my eyes. I was about to send back a witty reply when I stopped myself. With what I was about to do, that probably wasn't such a good idea. I frowned slightly. "George, can we talk?"

"I think we're already talking, dear," George joked.

I shook my head. "George, I'm serious." I didn't have time for his games. I just needed to get it out.

George frowned, all traces of humor now gone from his face. "What is it, Crystal?"

I suddenly froze. What was I supposed to say? I quickly came up with something. "Life can be complicated. Like a mustard seed, for example. It starts out small, but then it grows into this huge tree! It has many different branches going everywhere! And then suddenly-" I stopped when I realized George was staring at me with a confused expression on his face. Better start over. "Life is like a river. It twists and turns, and you have no idea where it will go!"

"Is there a point to this?" George asked, looking bewildered. "Or are you just trying to confuse me?"

I let out a heavy sigh. It was time to be blunt. I couldn't look at him. I glanced down at my feet. "I- I don't think this is working out."

"What's not working out?" the boy asked softly.

I looked up at him, pain flashing in my eyes. He just looked confused. "This," I said, motioning with my hand between us. "...us."

George's eyes widened in understanding. "What?! Why? I don't see anything wrong. What's the problem?"" His eyes were swimming with worry.

I sighed. "I just-" I looked away again. How was I supposed to explain this? "I'm just not feeling it anymore. All we ever do is hang out. That's what friends do."

"We can try something different!" George said in desperation. "We can work this out."

I shook my head. I couldn't allow myself to be persuaded, no matter how much I hated hurting him. "There's nothing to work out." I cast him a sad gaze. "I just don't think we're meant to be together." And that was the truth.

George glanced down at the ground. "Oh," he mumbled. "Ok."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Can- can we still be friends?"

George looked up at me and gave me a weak smile. "Of course."

I nodded. I attempted to smile back, but it was a fail. "Well, goodbye, George." I turned to leave.

"Goodbye, Crystal."

I didn't look back at him as I walked. I couldn't afford to. My feet felt heavy as I entered the castle. I knew I had done what I had wanted to do. It had just been a terrible process. George would be fine, though. He had Fred. He'd make him feel like himself again. And now I was free. I could be with whomever I wanted. The thought made me feel loads better. I didn't know if he would be there, but I immediately bolted for the seventh floor.

Once I was there, I paced back and forth to make the door to the room of requirements appear. I took several deep breaths to calm myself. My emotions felt out of control. I wasn't quite sure what I was feeling. When I opened the door, I saw someone already inside lounging on the couch.

He seemed to know what I was thinking. He immediately got up and walked over to me, not stopping until we were only inches apart. He gazed down at me with intense eyes.

"Draco," I breathed. His own breath was warm against my face. It sent a chill throughout my body, but it was not an unpleasant feeling. I could feel my heart beating excitedly with anticipation. "I broke up with George."

The second I finished, Draco gently pushed me up against the wall and crashed his lips against mine. I wound my arms around his neck and eagerly kissed him back. In that moment, everything else was forgotten. All that mattered was him. My hands knotted in his hair. He took his hands away from the wall and used them to wrap his arms around my waist and pull me closer to him. I was in pure elation.

I felt dizzy when he pulled away, but I did not mind. For awhile, we just stood there holding each other and staring into each other's eyes. "Crystal," Draco finally murmured. He grazed my left cheek with the back of his hand. I shivered in delight. "Will you be mine?"

I bit my bottom lip in an attempt to hide the smile that threatened to overtake my face. I didn't want to make this easy for him. I pretended to hesitate. "Well..."

Draco frowned. He bent down and kissed my forehead. Staying near my face, he whispered, "I promise I'll take care of you. I may not be able to be what you need, but I will try. I can give you that."

I released my smile for him to see. I knew I had made the right choice. There was no one else I wanted to be with. I pushed myself up so that I could give him a soft kiss. Pulling back, my eyes shone brightly. "Yes," I said in response to his question, "my Draco." I needed to make sure this was an equal thing.

Relief and happiness seemed to flood Draco's face. He rested his forehead against mine and gazed at me with adoring eyes. "My Crystal."

*

I could not stop smiling the rest of the day. It was probably not appropriate because I had just broken up with George, but I could not help it. Some people surely thought I was mad. I wanted to talk to someone about Draco. I was not ready to open up to Ginny, so I went to my sister.

I was glad my room was empty that evening; everyone was probably off studying. Emily and I sat next to each other on my bed. A grin was tugging on my face.

"Ok, what's going on?" Emily asked, looking me up and down with skeptical eyes.

"I broke up with George!" I said more quickly than I had intended. I smiled sheepishly upon realizing my error.

Emily blinked. "And this is a good thing? I thought you liked him."

"I do," I said. "You were right, though. We're better as friends. Everything that attracted me to him could be as easily achieved through friendship as in a romance."

"And he's okay with being friends?" Emily asked with raised eyebrows.

I shrugged. "He said he is. I will probably give him some time to cool off before I start hanging out with him again, though."

Emily nodded. "That's probably a good idea."

"Oh, you were right about the flowers, too," I said, suddenly remembering my discovery. That was what had set off all these crazy events. It was wonderful. "The ones I got after the Yule Ball. Draco sent them to me."

Emily smirked. "I knew it."

"The green and red colors were supposed to represent Slytherin and Gryffindor," I said with a shrug. How the heck was I supposed to figure that out?

"Aww..." Emily cooed. She was clearly happy about this turn of events. For once, I did not mind the delight she took in investigating my love life. "When are you two going to get together?"

I bit my lip and shifted uncomfortably. "We already are."

Emily raised her eyebrows. "Someone sure works fast."

"Hey, the main reason I broke up with George was so that I could be with Draco," I said defensively. "Can you blame me for not wanting to wait?"

Emily smirked. "No."

I sighed. Now I had to get to the part I didn't like. "Listen, you can't tell anyone about our relationship. Not anyone at school or a member of our family. You know how they would all react. And Dad specifically told me to stay away from Draco."

Emily frowned. "Why would he do that?"

"Draco's father was a death eater," I explained. "One of Voldemort's followers. Dad insists he's still not good, so he does not want me to be around his son."

"Does he think Draco is going to end up like his father?" Emily asked.

I shrugged. "Probably, yeah." I appreciated the concern, but I could take care of myself.

"Well, then you better help Draco choose a different path," Emily said in a tone that suggested the solution was simply.

A weak smile formed on my face. "I'll see what I can do."

Emily stood up and placed her hand on my shoulder. "I've got to go, but make sure you keep me updated on how things go with Draco."

I rolled my eyes. "Right." Sisters. 


	16. Slipping

The second task of the Triwizard Tournament was on Wednesday morning. I was not sad to be missing Herbology; it was still not my favorite subject. After breakfast, I headed outside with Ginny to join the forming crowd. Fred and George stood out with their red hair. I caught George's eye, and we both looked away.

"Let's go over here," Ginny said, pulling me to a different area of the stands.

I cast her a grateful look. Once we had found a spot, I dared to question her about her brother. "How's George doing?"

Ginny shrugged. "He's holding up I guess. He's not been as obnoxious as usual."

I frowned and shifted uncomfortable.

"Don't worry," Ginny said. "He'll get over it."

I nodded. I was sure he would be alright. I just feared that our friendship would never be the same. I gazed across the crowd, trying to see if I recognized anyone. I easily spotted Draco. I looked away quickly, but I could not hide the smile that immediately came over my face.

Ginny was looking at me with raised eyebrows. "What is it?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. I'll tell you later." I would have to spill everything to her eventually. She was one of the few people I thought I could trust on this subject. As I looked at the crowd again, something seemed to dawn on me. "Hey, do you see Ron and Hermione?"

Ginny stood on her tip-toes and peered across the crowd. She was frowning when she settled back down. "No, I don't. That's peculiar. I would have thought they would have been in the front row."

"Exactly," I said.

I did not have time to ponder the question, for the second task soon began. "Well, all our champions are ready for the second task, which will start on my whistle," the announcer's voice boomed across the stands. "They have precisely an hour to recover what has been taken from them. On the count of three, then. One...two...three!"

Taken from them? What could that possibly mean? I exchanged a glance with Ginny; she just shrugged. I watched as Krum, Cedric, and Fleur dove into the lake. Meanwhile, Harry was slowly wading into the water. I waited, but nothing happened to him.

"I hope he knows what he's doing," Ginny whispered.

I nodded. When was something magical going to happen? He needed to breathe somehow. I craned my neck when I saw Harry clasp his neck with his hands. A second later, he was fully submerged in the water. "I guess he figured it out," I said.

"Let's hope he can catch up to the others," Ginny muttered.

It seemed like we were waiting forever for something to happen. The crowd was growing restless. Eventually, Fleur's head popped out of the water. It was announced that she had had to forfeit. I clenched my teeth in frustration. I still did not know the purpose of the task.

Finally, Cedric emerged with Cho, and understanding filled my mind. It was a person they had to rescue. Then Ron and Hermione...

"Harry has to save Ron," Ginny said with a gasp.

I smiled grimly. "Looks like it."

Krum was the next to finish, bringing Hermione with him. I was glad to see that my friend was okay. By this time, the crowd was going wild. I clapped and cheered for the rest of them as I waited or Harry. "Where was he?"

"He is going to make it, isn't he?" Ginny asked worriedly over the noise.

"Of course!" I assured her. I just hoped I was right.

I let out a breath of relief when I saw Harry appear. He had Ron and a little girl with him. The sound of the crowd was buzzing in my ears. I felt Ginny clutching my arm. I felt calmer as I waited for the scoring to be announced. I was soon satisfied.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached our decision. Merchieftainess Murcus has told us exactly what happened at the bottom of the lake, and we have therefore decided to award marks out of fifty for each of the champions, as follows....

"Fleur Delacour, though she demonstrated excellent use of the Bubble-Head Charm, was attacked by grindylows as she approached her goal, and failed to retrieve her hostage. We award her twenty-five points."

I applauded along with the crowd. By this time, Ginny had eased away from me.

"Cedric Diggory, who also used the Bubble-Head Charm, was first to return with his hostage, though he returned one minute outside the time limit of an hour." There were enormous cheers from the Hufflepuffs in the crowd; Harry saw Cho give Cedric a glowing look. "We therefore award him forty-seven points.

"Viktor Krum used an incomplete form of Transfiguration, which was nevertheless effective, and was second to return with his hostage. We award him forty points.

"Harry Potter used gillyweed to great effect," the announcer continued. "He returned last, and well outside the time limit of an hour. However, the Merchieftainess informs us that Mr. Potter was first to reach the hostages, and that the delay in his return was due to his determination to return all hostages to safety, not merely his own.

"Most of the judges feel that this shows moral fiber and merits full marks. However...Mr. Potter's score is forty-five points."

I smiled. This was wonderful news. Ginny seemed excited as well.

"The third and final task will take place at dusk on the twenty-fourth of June. The champions will be notified of what is coming precisely one month beforehand. Thank you all for your support of the champions."

"That was a rush," Ginny said as we began to exit the stands with the crowd. "Too bad we have to be in suspense for so long."

I nodded. "Yeah."

Ginny clasped my shoulder. "I'm going to go see Ron, but make sure to tell me when it's alter."

I was confused until I remembered she had caught me looking at Draco. I watched her leave before heading for the castle.

I nearly froze when I felt a hand brush against mine, sending tingles up my arm. Looking around, I caught sight of white-blond hair receding from the crowd. I smiled.

***

I had continued sitting in the back of the room with the Slytherins during Defense Against the Dark Arts. I still did not have a favorable opinion of Professor Moody, and I could not stand being around my fellow Gryffindors, who obviously loved him. It was a double period, which made it worse. The Slytherins had grown used to my presence, though. Usually I sat next to Gregory or Vincent, but today Draco took the seat on my right, which was near the wall.

I fought hard to hide the smile that was creeping up on my face. I clasped my hands together and stared straight ahead. "We're getting ambitious, aren't we?" I said without moving my lips much.

"You're the one who insists on sitting back here," Draco said. "I thought it was about time I had my turn." Under the table, he placed his left hand on my right knee, causing my heart to leap.

"You're trying to distract me so that I fail this class," I said. "While every other Gryffindor passes with flying colors..."

Draco chuckled lightly but did not remove his hand. "I will make sure you pass if I have to tutor you myself."

I bit my lip to hide my grin. I was glad I had chosen the last row in the room; the Slytherins were ignoring us. I placed my right hand on top of Draco's, relishing the contact. I reluctantly pulled it back when class began and I needed to begin taking notes.

Somehow, I managed to pay enough attention to get down the essential notes and last the whole way through class. I took my time standing up and gathering my belongings. Draco did the same.

As he passed me to leave the room, he whispered into my ear, "After dinner."

I shivered, knowing exactly what he meant. Now I had to last through an entire meal. The anxiety was killing me. At least I would have something to look forward to. I joined the crowd of Slytherins that was scurrying out the door.

I found Ginny in the Great Hall and promptly sat next her. The food looked absolutely delicious! I picked up my fork and knife and stared at it hungrily.

"What are you so happy about?" Ginny asked. "I thought you hated Professor Moody."

I shrugged. "Hate is a strong word. The class is not bad."

Ginny eyed me oddly. "If you say so."

I did not engage her much in conversation; I was too busy trying to eat as quickly as I could. I did not feel too bad because she ended up talking with a Gryffindor girl in her year. She did, however, watch me as I got up and left. I gave her a small smile to reassure her, though I was not sure how convincing I was.

I don't know how Draco always beat me to the Room of Requirements; I found him waiting for me as I entered our usual room. Without saying anything, he walked up to me and gently kissed me. I responded immediately, wrapping my arms around his neck.

I would have been content staying like that, but I knew I had other duties to attend to. I broke away and rested my hands against his chest. "Draco, we have to study."

Draco wrapped his arms around me to keep me close to him. "That's no fun."

"I'm still trying to get used to the differences between Hogwarts and my old school," I explained. "I could use some help."

"Why don't you just ask your friend Granger?" Draco asked with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

I smiled at him. "I will if I have a question you can't answer, but I'd rather be with you."

Draco smirked, seeming satisfied with that. He finally let me go and walked over to the couch where he had left his bag. He looked back at me and asked, "Where shall we start?"

*

I got back to the Gryffindor common room late that night. I made it just in time before curfew. I was glad Draco and I had completed all of our homework; now I could go to my room and relax. Tomorrow as Friday! Life was good.

Ginny was the only person in the common room. She was sitting on the couch reading a book. When I entered, she set the book down and stood up. "Where were you?" she asked curiously.

"Studying," I said, failing to hide my smile.

Ginny raised her eyebrows. "Unless you're Hermione, studying does not make people that happy. Were you with Malfoy?"

I blinked in surprise. Where had that come from? "Wh-why would you ask that?" I stammered, giving her a nervous smile.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Please. I'm not daft." She casually strolled over to me. "You didn't think I could figure out from the questions you asked me about your 'friend?' Besides, I see the way you look at him when you think no one is watching."

I frowned. "Then I guess I should be more careful," I muttered.

Ginny gentled grabbed onto my arm and led me to the couch. "Do you want to talk about this?" We both sat down. "How did this happen?"

She did not seem judgmental. She seemed to genuinely care about me; I doubted she would dole out condemnation. Therefore, I felt safe in letting out the truth. I let out a heavy sigh before beginning. "I did what you said. I got him to trust me. I showed him I care about his feelings. He responded very positively. I think it's what he needed."

"But from the outside, it does not seem like your relationship has changed," Ginny pointed out.

"I did not think it had either... until he kissed me at the Yule Ball."

Ginny's eyes widened and she let out a gasp. "He did what?"

I explained to her everything that had really happened at the Yule Ball. My friend continued to stare at me with a look of disbelief. I then told her about the Room of Requirements and how Draco and I had grown to be friends while I was dating George.

"He's different when he's with me," I said. "He's not worried about what others are going to think because he knows I won't judge him. No one else, on either side, can give him that. The Slytherins expect him to act like them, and the Gryffindors condemn him for it." I shrugged. "I suppose I'm the odd one."

"You're certainly bold," Ginny said. "I think it's a good thing, though. I don't think it's a position many people have the ability of taking, but I think it is needed. Like you said to your first years, the rest of us are not helping by reinforcing stereotypes. I think it's great that you have the courage to break the cycle."

I gave her a grin. "I suppose it helps that I'm an outsider. And an American, at that."

Ginny chuckled. "That's true. You have grown up in a different culture. I like it. It adds diversity."

I smiled. "Thanks. I'm glad you understand. Besides my sister, you seem to be the only one who would."

"I know that you're more likely to influence Malfoy – Draco – and not the other way around," Ginny said. She paused. "You still did not tell me how you got together."

I blinked. "Oh. I realized he was the one I wanted to be with, not George. I saw that Draco actually did care about me for me, so I decided to take a chance. So far it's been great." A smile came over my face. "He makes me happy."

"I can see that," Ginny said. "If you ever do have any problems, though, you know you can talk me."

I grinned. "Haven't I already been doing that?"

Ginny chuckled. "Right. Well, we should be off to bed. It's getting late." She picked up her book and stood up.

I nodded as I stood up as well. "Thanks for listening, Ginny."

She smiled at me. "No problem. Good luck with your relationship. I hope it goes well."

"Thank you," I said softly as I watched her leave. I felt light as I made my way to my own dorm. It felt good to have someone to confide in about my secret. The future looked good. 


	17. Hiding Tension

Saturday afternoon, I found myself outside gazing out at the Black Lake. It seemed different knowing that this was where the second task had taken place. I wondered what it was like to be down there for an hour. What kind of creatures lay beneath? I had seen mermaids when Harry had returned. I would have to remember to ask him what exactly he saw while under the water.

"Why are you so preoccupied with this lake?" a voice said form behind me.

I spun around, smiling when I saw Draco. Not many people were around because it was still chilly outside. Draco adorned a coat and a Slytherin scarf. I only wore a light jacket. Minnesota was colder than this, so I was used to the weather. "It reminds me of home," I explained. "Minnesota is known as the 'land of 10,000 lakes.'" I smiled. "We have them all over the place. Water is calming to me. Looking at the lake makes me feel like everything is going to be alright."

Draco stepped closer to me. "Do you miss Minnesota?"

I nodded. "Of course I do. I haven't seen much of Britain at all because most of my time has been spent at Hogwarts, so I haven't had much of a chance to get used to the culture."

Draco titled his head to the side slightly, seeming to consider this. "Will you move back home after you graduate?"

I frowned. "I don't know," I admitted. "I honestly haven't thought about it much. I suppose it depends on what my life is like when the time comes to decide. Three and a half years can change a lot."

Draco turned his head and peered out at the lake. "I think it would be interesting to visit the States. Get a change of scenery. Be able to evaluate which is really superior."

"America is great," I said brightly. "Especially Minnesota, though I may be biased. I would love to show you around sometime."

Draco looked at me. His gaze was intense yet kind. "I would like that."

I smiled, pleased at his answer. The topic brought a question of my own to mind. "Do you know what type of career you would like after Hogwarts?"

Draco furrowed his eyebrows in thought. "I don't know," he said. "My father seems to expect me to get some job with the Ministry." He looked away and shrugged.

I frowned. He had never talked to me about his family. I had avoided the subject because of how our fathers hated each other. Now, however, curiosity was prickling me. What kind of relationship did Draco exactly have with his father? I knew I could not ask directly, however. At least not yet. I decided to start with something simple. "What about what _you_ want?"

Draco looked up at the sky; his body was slightly turned away from me. "I used to have dreams about playing Quidditch – I've been seeker for Slytherin since first year – but that is probably not going to happen." He turned back to me and smiled grimly. "I suppose I have some time to figure it out."

I nodded slowly. "Right."

"What about you? Which path do you plan to pursue?"

I blinked, not expecting him to bring the question back on me. I was ready to answer, however. "I want to be a potions master."

Draco smirked. "Right. You are the best at potions in our class. Professor Snape still can't get over it." He chuckled. "You really should have been in Slytherin."

"This school would not have been able to handle me in Slytherin," I said with a smirk of my own.

Draco laughed. "That's probably true." His smile fell and he grew more serious. "But then we would have been able to let everyone know we are together." He stepped forward and brushed his hand against mine.

I shivered. I was about to respond when I suddenly heard a voice said,

"Crystal! Draco!"

We immediately jumped apart. Gregory and Vincent were walking towards us, the former being the one who had spoken.

I gave them a weak smile. "Hey, guys. What's up?"

"Do you have any more cupcakes?" Vincent asked hopefully.

I laughed. "No, but if you go with me Hogsmeade next weekend, I can hook you up with some chocolate." Getting an idea, I looked around and added, "All three of you should join me. Like in the fall."

Draco hesitated. "I don't know."

"Come on, Draco, it will be fun," Gregory said.

Draco sighed. "Fine. I suppose that would be alright."

I grinned. Great. Now I had an excuse to be with him, even if we would not be exclusively alone. I could not wait for the week to fly by like I knew it would.

***

I always looked forward to my last class of the week – potions. In this class, the Gryffindors treated me with a mixture of fear and wonder. On this particular day, Ron, Hermione, and Harry were not there yet, so I took a seat at a table by myself. Soon, my friends entered the room. Hermione seemed to be holding some sort of magazine. She sat down next to me and opened it under the desk.

"What's that?" I whispered curiously.

"I'm about to find out," Hermione said. "Pansy Parkinson gave it to me." She grimaced before flipping through the magazine. Harry and Ron leaned in close. Hermione stopped on a page where there was a photograph of Harry. The title of the article read:

Harry Potter's Secret Heartache  
A boy like no other, perhaps - yet a boy suffering all the usual pangs of adolescence, writes Rita Skeeter. Deprived of love since the tragic demise of his parents, fourteen-year-old Harry Potter thought he had found solace in his steady girlfriend at Hogwarts, Muggle-born Hermione Granger. Little did he know that he would shortly be suffering yet another emotional blow in a life already littered with personal loss.  
Miss Granger, a plain but ambitious girl, seems to have a taste for famous wizards that Harry alone cannot satisfy. Since the arrival at Hogwarts of Viktor Krum, Bulgarian Seeker and hero of the last World Quidditch Cup, Miss Granger has been toying with both boys' affections. Krum, who is openly smitten with the devious Miss Granger, has already invited her to visit him in Bulgaria over the summer holidays, and insists that he has "never felt this way about any other girl."  
However, it might not be Miss Granger's doubtful natural charms that have captured these unfortunate boys' interest.  
"She's really ugly," says Pansy Parkinson, a pretty and vivacious fourth-year student, "but she'd be well up to making a Love Potion, she's quite brainy. I think that's how she's doing it."  
Love Potions are, of course, banned at Hogwarts, and no doubt Albus Dumbledore will want to investigate these claims. In the meantime, Harry Potters well-wishers must hope that, next time, he bestows his heart on a worthier candidate.

"Wow," I said, shaking my head. Who was this writer? She obviously did not know what she was talking about.

"I told you!" Ron hissed at Hermione as she stared down at the article. "I told you not to annoy Rita Skeeter! She's made you out to be some sort of- of scarlet woman!"

Hermione stopped looking astonished and snorted with laughter. "Scarlet woman?" she repeated, shaking with suppressed giggles as she looked around at Ron.

"It's what my mum calls them," Ron muttered, his ears going red.

"If that's the best Rita can do, she's losing her touch," said Hermione, still giggling, as she threw Witch Weekly onto the table in front of her. "What a pile of old rubbish."

"What did you do to Rita Skeeter?" I asked, wanting to know what had apparently started this mess.

Hermione shook her head. "It's not important. We should get to work."

I nodded and got to work on my potion. I heard Hermione begin to speak about 10 minutes later, but I ignored her. I did not want to be mean; I just had to focus on my potion. I wanted to do my very best.

I only looked up when I noticed that Snape had strolled over to our table, immediately cutting off my friends' conversation.

"Fascinating though your social life undoubtedly is. Miss Granger," said an icy voice right behind them, and all three of them jumped, "I must ask you not to discuss it in my class. Ten points from Gryffindor."

I flushed and tried to look busy with my potion. I knew I did not want to get into the middle of this. Everyone in the class was staring at us. I pretended not to notice, though it was hard not to look in Draco's direction.

"Ah...reading magazines under the table as well?" Snape added, snatching up the copy of Witch Weekly. "A further ten points from Gryffindor...oh but of course...Potter has to keep up with his press cuttings...."

The Slytherins broke out laughing. I clenched my teeth tightly to keep from reacting. I could get through this. I would not make the situation worse.

"'Harry Potter's Secret Heartache...dear, dear. Potter, what's ailing you now? 'A boy like no other, perhaps...'" Snape paused to allow the Slytherins to laugh. "'...Harry Potter's well-wishers must hope that, next time, he bestows his heart upon a worthier candidate.' How very touching," sneered Snape, rolling up the magazine to continued gales of laughter from the Slytherins. "Well, I think I had better separate the three of you, so you can keep your minds on your potions rather than on your tangled love lives. Weasley, you stay here with Miss Hansen. Miss Granger, over there, beside Miss Parkinson. Potter - that table in front of my desk. Move. Now."

I kept my head low as harry and Hermione gathered their things and left. I did not look at Ron. I wanted to pretend that that scene had not just happened. I suddenly hated being in the middle. Why did we all have to be forced to take sides?

That was delightful," Ron muttered to me.

"Be quiet Ron," I whispered. I did not want to give Snape any more reason to return to our table. My hands shook slightly as I returned to my potion.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the classroom door.

"Enter," Snape said.

I joined the rest of the class in turning to see who was there. It was Professor Karkaroff. I watched as he walked up to Snape's desk, but then I returned to my potion. It was none of my business what he wanted. Besides, I had a potion to finish. I felt a need to especially impress Snape after the previous fiasco.

I was actually glad when the bell rang. I did not look Snape in the eye as I turned in my potion. I lost Ron in the crowd that was exiting the room. I caught sight of Draco and some other Slytherins outsider snickering to each other. I knew what this was about.

"That was not funny," I hissed as I passed them.

"Lighten up, Hansen," Draco said with a smirk.

I ignored the jeers and continued on. I did not like the tension that was rising inside me, and I struggled to push it down. Was the reason Draco did not want anyone to know about us because he did not want to be humiliated by his girlfriend opposing him publically on something like this? I knew we saw many things very differently, and I wondered just how much it would affect us in the future.

***

The sun was shining on Saturday, and the weather was lovely. I did not even need a jacket as I walked to Hogsmeade with Draco, Vincent, and Gregory. I walked in between the latter two, while the former strolled ahead of us. As promised, we were heading to Honeydukes.

"I love this place," Vincent said brightly as we entered.

I smiled. "Me too." Chocolate was the best. There were many Hogwarts students bustling around, grabbing their favorite sweets. There was too much to choose from!

Draco did not look too enthused. However, as he passed me, I felt him slip something into my hand. I did not look at it until we were far apart. It was money. I hated the discreteness, but I appreciated the thought.

After we bought everything we wanted, we headed to the Three Broomsticks for butterbeer. My eyes brightened when I saw Ginny at the counter. Forgetting all precautions, "I called to her, "Hey, Ginny!"

Draco was instantly by my side. "What are you doing?" he hissed.

I shrugged him off. I was not doing anything particularly dangerous, though I did not dare tell him yet that my friend knew about us.

"Hey, Crystal," Ginny said when she saw me.

"Hello," the girl sitting next to her said. She had bright blond hair and a dreamy look to her face.

"This is Luna Lovegood," Ginny said. "She's a Ravenclaw in my year."

I gave Luna a small smile. "Hi. I'm Crystal Hansen."

"Can we go now?" Draco said testily.

"I see a table over there," Gregory said, pointing to the other side of the room.

"I should go," I said apologetically.

Ginny shrugged. "It's no problem."

Luna glanced over my companions. "It was a pleasure to meet you. Have fun with your Slytherin friends."

"We're not friends," Draco snapped we followed Gregory and Vincent to the indicated table.

Soon, we were all seated with drinks. I sat across from Draco and next to Vincent. It took several minutes until someone spoke. "I'll have to be leaving after we finish here," Draco began coolly. "I've got some business to take care over." He gave me a look that made me feel like he was sending me some sort of message. Then I got it.

"And I'm gonna go talk to my friends over there for a bit," I said. I smiled at Gregory and Vincent apologetically. "You two will be fine on your own, won't you?"

Gregory frowned but said, "Sure. It's fine."

"We'll just have to hang out some other time," Vincent said.

I smiled slightly, grateful for their good spirit. I nearly flinched when I felt Draco nudge me with his foot under the table. I reached down and took something from his hand that felt like paper. I carefully concealed it in my pocket. I could not look at him as I finished my butterbeer.

When we were all done, I muttered a goodbye and left. I found Ginny in the same spot with Luna. I gave her a small smile as I sat down on her other side. "Hey," I said.

Ginny blinked at me. "Hey. What are you doing here?"

"You're my cover," I said sheepishly.

"For what?" Luna asked curiously.

I shook my head. "Never mind." I took out the small piece of paper Draco had given me and glanced over it. Looking up, I asked, "Where's the Shrieking Shack?"

*

The Shrieking Shack was an abandoned house with the windows and doors boarded up. It was allegedly haunted. A quick spell allowed Draco and I to enter. "Are we supposed to be in here?" I asked in a low whisper as I looked around.

Draco smirked at me. "Are you afraid?"

I shook my head. "No." I paused. "Spooky place, though."

Draco shrugged. "I supposed." He seemed to hesitate. "I'm sorry about the trouble of getting us alone, but at least this provides a change of scenery."

"It's fine," I said, even though it was not.

Draco came towards me with a serious look on his face, and the next thing I knew, his lips were pressed against mine. I allowed myself to give into him. I do not know how long the kiss lasted, but when we broke apart, Draco leaned his forehead against mine while we continued to hold each other. I breathed deeply, feeling intoxicated by his scent.

"Someday the world will be ready for us," he whispered.

I wanted to believe him. I felt a stab of guilt when I remembered something. Pulling away slightly, I said, "I told Ginny."

Draco's face hardened. "Why would you do that?" he asked stiffly.

He had dropped his arms, so I stepped away from him. I bit my lip, afraid I had angered him. "She doesn't care. She's my best friend. I trust her. She won't tell anyone."

Draco let out an exasperated sigh. "Well, I supposed one person is fine."

"I told my sister too," I said weakly.

Draco let out a long groan. "What is wrong with you? Do you want the whole school to find out?"

_I wouldn't mind too much, actually. _"She won't tell anyone either," I said quickly. "She actually figured out I liked you before I Knew myself."

Draco quirked an eyebrow. "Intuitive girl."

I nodded as I stepped close to him again. I placed my right hand on his cheek and gazed into his eyes. He responded by placing his hand over mine. I smiled slightly. "Everything is going to be fine, Draco," I said softly. "I promise." I only wished I could believe what I was saying myself.


	18. Problems

After Rita Skeeter's article went out, people began sending Hermione hate mail. Hermione was so upset that she missed a couple of classes. She never wanted to talk about it, though, so there was nothing I could to comfort her; I merely sent angry glares at anyone who dared find the situation amusing.

Other than for that issue, the next few weeks flew by. Nothing really came between Draco and me, though in the back of my mind I suspected I was purposefully hiding the hard issues. Nevertheless, we were doing well considering the circumstances.

April 10th was the beginning of Easter break, or Easter "holidays" as they said in Britain. Students had the option of staying at Hogwarts are going home; my parents expected Emily and I to partake in the latter. Draco thought it would be a calculated risk for us to share a compartment since it would be relatively empty.

Emily was simply delighted by the idea. She was babbling about it the whole way to the train. "I still think this is so romantic," she said as we approached our ride. She sighed dreamily.

I rolled my eyes. "Right," I muttered. If only she had any idea what all of this was really like. But she was still a child. She would realize the truth when she grew up.

I tried to nonchalantly lead Emily to the front of the crowd where Draco stood. We had to be first on the train for this to work. We did not even look at each other. I scrambled to get on board after him once we were allowed to enter. I slowed my pace as I watched Draco walked down the train. I carefully noted which compartment he had chosen. Then when Emily and I reached it, we inconspicuously slipped inside. I immediately locked the door and slid down the blinds.

"That was fun," Emily said brightly as I turned around.

Draco was still standing in the compartment. He looked at my sister with raised eyebrows. "Loads," he muttered.

I took a step forward. "Draco, you know my sister, Emily."

Emily gave him a small smile. "Hi."

Draco nodded curtly. "Right. She was one of your first years."

Emily sat down on the left bench. I took a seat opposite of her, and Draco sat down beside me. "I'm too tired for talking much right now," I said. We had had to get up early on a Saturday to make the train, and I usually caught up on my sleep on the weekend.

"That's alright," Draco said. "We don't want to be overheard."

"And I've got a great romance novel I haven't had time to read yet," Emily said as she dug into her bag.

I gave my sister a small smirk. Her and her romance novels. Draco put his arm around my shoulder, and I instinctively leaned into him.

"Rest," he murmured, he murmured, brushing his lips against my ear.

I wrapped my arms around him, leaned my head against his chest, and closed my eyes. I felt into half-sleep half-waking state with Draco hugging me or stroking my hair.

I did not realize the train had stopped until Draco kissed the top of my head and whispered, "It's time to go."

I reluctantly unwrapped myself from him and stood up, stretching my limbs. It was then that I noticed Emily was watching me with a smirk. I frowned. "What?"

"Nothing," Emily said mischievously.

I rolled my eyes. I did not want to bother with her.

"You two go out first," Draco said.

I nodded. Emily and I grabbed our suitcases and then made our way out of the compartment. I almost stopped when I realized I had not said goodbye to Draco. Emily gently nudged me forward, and I had to comply. I regretfully left the train and stepped onto the platform.

Lizzy and our parents were right there waiting for us. Soon, our mother had engulfed us both in a hug. "It's great to see you," she said after she let go. "How was it?"

"Great for Crystal," Emily said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "I'll tell you about it when we get home," I said in response to the blank stares my family was giving me.

We took a taxi back to our house. We visited Mr. and Mrs. Weasley for a little bit (none of their kids had come home), but later, after unpacking, we were all sitting around our living room sipping tea.

"What's Hogwarts like?" Lizzie asked curiously.

"It's great!" Emily said animatedly. "It's so big and beautiful. The classes are very informative. I like most of my classes."

"What about you, Crystal?" my dad asked.

I shrugged. "I'm doing great in potions."

"That's good," my mom said with a smile. "Have you two made a lot of friends?"

"_Crystal_ has," Emily said emphatically, a smirk starting to form on her face. "She's been having fun with the Slytherins."

Dad looked at me with a frown. "What is she talking about?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "Well..."

"The Slytherins were never up to any good when I was in school," Dad said. "I doubt much has change."

"That's exactly what Crystal is rebelling against," Emily said helpfully.

Mom blinked. "Rebelling?"

Emily nodded. "She doesn't believe in stereotypes and thinks Slytherins can be good friends if you give them the chance. That's what she tried to teach the first years. I was in her group. She and Draco Malfoy had one. And-"

"_Malfoy_?" Dad said in a hard tone.

"He's a Slytherin," Emily said.

I flushed. Why did my sister have to be such a blabbermouth? I did not dare show anger towards her, though, lest my parents get the wrong impression. "He was trying to refute me," I said as calmly as I could. "He doesn't want the houses mixing." _And apparently, neither do you._

"We've stopped meeting, though," Emily said almost regretfully. "They've taught us all that they could. Crystal still hangs out with some of the Slytherins. Now she's trying to live by what she preaches." She smiled when she finished; she seemed pleased with herself.

I resisted the urge to grown. Maybe it had been a bad idea to involve her in all of that after all.

"Cool!" Lizzie said with a grin.

I gave her a weak smile. At least someone approved.

"It's good you're trying to be nice to everyone, Crystal," Mom began slowly.

"...but you have to choose your friends carefully," Dad finished.

I frowned. "But I like them."

"They will be a bad influence on you," Dad said. "Trust me; I know what I'm talking about. I've been there. I was always polite and courteous with the Slytherins, but I did not go out of my way to become close to them. The point of being in a house is to become a family. You seemed to have gotten along well with the Weasley kids. Stick with them. You all are going to need each other."

My reason could see the sense in his argument, but my heart told me that he was wrong. However, I knew better than to argue with him; I would just end up losing. And if Draco was brought up... It was best to stop here. "Ok," I mumbled. I paused. "They're the ones I'm closest to, anyway. I hang out with Ginny all the time."

Mom smiled. "That's great."

I finished my tea and set my mug on the table. "I'm going to go to my room," I said. "I've got a lot of homework to do over the break."

"Alright. We'll see you at dinner," Mom said.

I did not get to my homework right away, however. I lay on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, thinking about Draco and the conversation I had just had with my family. I sat up when I heard someone enter. I let out a breath of relief when I saw it was only Emily.

"Hey," my sister said softly. "Sorry if I got you into trouble back there." She walked over to my bed and sat down beside me.

I shrugged. "It might be better this way. They think I've agreed to their terms. They won't bring it up again."

Emily frowned. "You're going to go against them?"

"They're wrong," I said. "No one else can see it because I'm the only one who was not raised in the culture. Even Dad was influenced. I've got to do what I think is right. Besides, they can't control me at school. They will never know."

Emily still looked uncertain. "If you say so." She stood up. "But if you want to get anywhere with Draco, you're going to have to tell theme eventually."

I watched her leave. Of course, she was right.

***

We spent Easter at the Weasley's. Molly Weasley had prepared a huge feast that was absolutely delicious. Afterward, she gave Emily and I each a chocolate egg the size of a dragon egg and filled with homemade toffee. Just looking at it made my mouth water.

And then we were back on the train. This time, there was no plan to meet up with Draco, so Emily and I sat alone. "That was actually a quite relaxing break," I commented.

"I bet you're excited to see Draco, though," Emily said with a smirk.

I looked away and did not respond.

It was late by the time we got back to Hogwarts. I was ushered into the Great Hall along with all the other students who had been on the train. The students who had remained at school where already inside. I brightened when I saw a spot next to Ginny, and I quickly made my way over to claim it. "Hello," I said brightly.

Ginny gave me a small smile. "Hi, Crystal. How was your break?"

"Pretty good," I said, picking up my fork and knife. "Your mother sends her love."

"I know, I got an egg."

I grinned. "Me too." I dug into the food; I had just realized how hungry I was. After a few minutes, I decided to look for Draco at the Slytherin table. I had to crane my neck to see him. He was busy talking to a Slytherin girl who I could not make out. I quickly returned my attention to my plate so as to not garner any unnecessary suspicion.

After I finished eating, I waited until I saw Draco leave with a bunch of Slytherins before making my own exit. Luckily, many people were leaving at the same time, so my actions did not raise any eyebrows.

I had not gotten far when Pansy Parkinson broke off from the Slytherin group and turned around to face me. She did not look friendly. "Hey, Hansen, you better stay away from Draco," she said menacingly.

I blinked. "I can be around whomever I want."

"Hang out with Crabbe and Goyle if you must, but Draco is mine."

I stared at her oddly. "Right. I highly doubt he has any real interest in you." I began walking again. I stopped when I heard Pansy speak,

"Oh yeah? Then why did I spend the Easter holidays with him and his family?"

I stopped in my tracks. I did not know if I should believe her or not. She was probably just trying to annoy me. But why? Did she suspect something was going on between Draco and me? _She's probably like Emily and sees romance in every boy-girl interaction_, I assured myself. I put on as calm a face as I could muster, turned around, and said, "I don't know."

Pansy grinned wickedly. "Because we're together now, that's why."

My smile fell. She had to be lying. Of course she was. Draco was with _me_.

"Don't believe me? I'll prove it to you tomorrow before dinner."

"Whatever," I muttered as I walked past her and headed to my common room. I tried not to think too hard about what she said. She was only trying to anger me, right?

***

I did not know what to expect when I made my way to dinner the next day. Pansy had to have something planned. I was irritated just thinking about it. I know I was trying to be nice to Slytherins, but it was just hard with her.

The same group of Slytherins from the previous day was gathered around the entrance to the Great Hall. They were laughing and chatting with each other. I saw Pansy glance in my direction, but then she looked back at Draco, who had yet to notice me. I stood at a distance, watching with a frown.

My body tensed when Pansy touched Draco's cheek. He smiled and said something to her that I could not hear. She said something in return. Then he kissed her.

I froze. I did not know what kind of look I had on my face, and I did not care. The Slytherins were ignoring me anyway. They whooped and cheered at Draco's actions. I forced myself to walk closer. I needed to confront this.

Pansy turned to me and smirked. "See?" she said haughtily. "I told you."

Draco finally noticed me, but his expression showed no sign of surprise. "Hello, Hansen," he said coolly. "Is there a problem here?"

"No," I said through clenched teeth. I was trying hard to hide my emotions; all eyes were now on me. "Please, proceed."

Pansy smiled smugly. "Thank you." She stepped closer to Draco and put his arm around her.

His continued actions made me suspect that this was not a trick put on by Pansy. I did not know if he was acting for the benefit of his friends, and, frankly, it did not matter. It hurt just the same. And he was just standing there acting like everything was fine. I felt... betrayed.

I did not trust myself to stick around and say anything else. I brushed past the Slytherins and trudged into the Great Hall. I knew how to keep myself together. I would be fine. 


	19. Getting By

I could only avoid Draco until Defense Against the Dark Arts on Thursday. I sat with the Slytherins again. I did not want Pansy thinking she had gotten to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her sitting with Draco. Meanwhile, I took a seat next to Vincent. Luckily, he did not notice anything was wrong with me. I was great at hiding my emotions.

I had almost made it out of the room at the end of class when I felt someone pull me back by my arm. "We need to take," Draco hissed in my ear.

I hesitated. This was true. I just hated confrontation. Reluctantly, I whispered back, "After dinner."

Draco let go of my arm and walked after the Slytherins like nothing had happened. I let out a breath I had not realized I had been holding. I felt uneasy. By this time, the Gryffindors had reached the door.

"Are you ok, Crystal?" Hermione asked.

"I'm fine," I said. I forced myself to walk out of the room with her. "I'm just tired. And hungry."

Hermione looked at me skeptically. I was glad when she didn't say anything more. I walked with her, Ron, and Harry to dinner.

Despite my claims of hunger, I was not able to eat much. I had to force myself not to look over at the Slytherin table. When enough time had passed, I excused myself and slowly made my way to the Room of Requirements. My heart was heavy as I opened the door and stepped inside.

"Crystal," Draco said, rushing to my side. "I can explain."

"Ok," I said in a steady voice. I crossed my arms and stepped away from him. "Explain."

"You're overreacting," Draco said. "You know we have separate lived when we are not together."

I narrowed my eyes. "That does not mean you can go date some other girl," I said in a low growl. Really, who did he think he was?

"I have an image to keep up!" Draco said rather loudly. "It's expected that I date a Slytherin. Pansy came onto _me_. It would have been suspicious if I would have rejected her."

"I'm sure you could have thought of something," I snapped. "You just wanted to take the easy way out."

"I'm doing the best I can," Draco said. He seemed frustrated. "I don't like hiding either."

"Then don't!" I exclaimed. "Tell everyone the truth. I'm tired of all this sneaking around and pretending not to care. My whole point with the first years was that we shouldn't have to do that! It might be difficult at first, but we could really change the school for the better."

"No!" Draco growled. "We can't do that."

"Are you ashamed of me?"

"The houses need to be separate," Draco said. "That's the way it's always been and the way it's always going to be."

"Then why are you even with me?" I challenged. "Neither of us is practicing what we really believe. I can't take it anymore. We either have to come clean or stop seeing each other."

"They can't know," Draco said gruffly. "You knew what you were getting into. You chose this."

I faltered. He was right. Perhaps I did not have a right t complain. This was my fault. Well, it was time to set things straight. "Then I guess it's time I fix it," I said. "Goodbye, Draco." I turned and stormed out of the room, not waiting to see his reaction.

It was only when I was walking back to the Gryffindor common room that I realized what I had just done.

***

I could hardly pay attention even in potions the next day. I sat in the back with Hermione, Harry, and Ron. I worked on my potion idly. Hermione tried to help me out, but I shrugged away. I could make a better potion than her any day if I chose to.

I could tell Snape was disappointed in me when he walked around, checking on everyone's work. "You are not up to your usual standards today, Miss Hansen."

I cringed. "I-I'm sorry," I stammered. I did not know what I could say to explain. I hated how my personal life was affecting my school work.

"I will expect better of you next week," Snape said as he moved on.

"I know something's wrong," Hermione whispered to me.

"Don't worry about it," I hissed, agitated with her constant pestering. If I had wanted to talk about it, I would. But I couldn't. She would never understand. Harry and Ron were giving me odd looks. I ignored them. I felt someone else looking at me, so I turned to see who it was. I flinched when I saw Draco giving me a hard stare. I quickly looked away.

Ron seemed to have noticed the interaction, for he whispered, "Is Malfoy bothering you? I'll take of him."

"Shut up, Ron!" I growled. I blushed when I realized everyone was looking at me. I had not meant to speak so loudly. It looked like Snape was about to say something to me, but then the bell rang. I quickly began to gather up my possessions.

"Miss Hansen," Snape said before I could leave; I froze. "A word, please."

"Good luck," Harry muttered to me before he left to with his friends.

I sulked all the way to Snape's desk, where he was now standing. "Yes?" I mumbled, not looking up at him.

"Is there something bothering you that you want to tell me?" Snape asked.

"It's nothing you can help me with," I muttered. He was part of the problem, wasn't he? He reinforced the house stereotypes. What would he know about crossing the lines?

"I was not offering," Snape said icily. "You are a bright student, and I expect you to be able to get over whatever is ailing you and perform your work to your best ability. Your future depends on it."

"What do you care?" I suddenly shot back, looking at him angrily. "You don't want your best student to be from Gryffindor. Admit it."

"I don't care which house you're from," Snape said harshly. "Yes, I would prefer you were form my own, but I know excellence when I see it and I will not have it squandered under my watch. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, professor," I said, glancing down at the floor guiltily. I had not meant to let him down. Maybe I needed to confide in someone so that I would be able to deal with my problem better.

"Good," Snape said. "You are dismissed."

My teeth were clenched as I left the room. The encounter had been humiliating, but at least now I knew what I had to do.

*

"You should have come to me sooner," Ginny said, gazing at me in concern.

I had found her during dinner, and afterwards, we had made our way to my room. Luckily, we were alone. I had just explained everything that had recently occurred between me and Draco. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to bother you," I said sadly.

"It's not good to keep these things inside," Ginny said gently.

I bit my lip. She was right, but that was my natural tendency. "I know." I sighed and fell back on my bed. I stared up at the ceiling. "I can't handle this."

"Well, you've got two options, as far as I can see."

I sat up and looked at her. "What are they?"

Ginny stared at me. "You can either try to work things out with Draco or you can force yourself to move on."

I frowned. "I tried to work things out. He's too stubborn and persistent in his ways."

Ginny shrugged. "Maybe you need to give it some time. Some distance might be good for both of you. He might come around. I bet he needs you a lot more than you need him." She gave me a small smile. "I don't know what else to tell you."

"Waiting seems like a good idea," I said quietly. I certainly could not find the answer presently. Perhaps it would come to me in time. "But you have to help me get through my school work. I'm starting to slip..."

"Of course," Ginny said emphatically. "I'm here for you."

I gave her a weak smile. "Thanks." She had not given me the perfect solution, but it was probably the best one available. Only time would tell what would become of Draco and me.

***

Three weeks passed. Ginny helped me get caught up on my school work, and I slowly began to get back to my previous level of achievement. I was doing especially excellent in potions. Focusing on making my potions perfect help distract me and give me a peace of mind. I was pleased that Snape seemed satisfied with my work.

I did not talk to Draco, but he did seem more irritable than ever. Ron and Harry were quick to point this out. Whenever they did, I always diverted the conversation to a different topic. It was not my fault if Draco was being moody. It was his problem. I had to focus on what was best for me. I did not even talk to Vincent and Gregory outside of Defense Against the Dark Arts. I'm sure they noticed, but they never brought it up.

I was on a speaking basis with George. I would politely chat with him and Fred when I ran into them together. I had longer conversations with Fred when he was alone, which was not often. I regretted the deterioration in my relationship with both of them, but I knew it had partly been my own doing. George would come around when he was ready. I was just grateful for the time I did have with the twins. I really needed to be around people with a bright outlook on life.

One Saturday morning, I was awakened by a tapping on my window. I groaned as I got up. As usual, everyone else in the dorm had already left. I trudged over to the window and opened it. I black owl immediately flew in. In its beak was a white rose with a note attached to it. After taking the flower, the bird chirped and flew back outside. I closed the window before walking over to my bed and sitting down. I twirled the rose in my fingers before setting it on the bed.

The note was from Draco. I felt my heart lurch. The handwriting was beautiful, like I somehow expected. The note read:

Dear Crystal,

I am sorry I have not had the nerve to talk to you these past few weeks. I miss you. I do not wish for us to continue this way. I am willing to work to make the situation better if you will give me a chance. If you want to talk, meet me in the Room of Requirements at four o'clock on Sunday. Enjoy the Rose.

Still yours,  
Draco Malfoy

I read the note over twice before simply sitting there staring at it. My body felt numb. Draco missed me. He wanted to talk. I had to go see him, of course. If he was willing to try to fix the problem, I owed it to him to do the same. Besides, I missed him too.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to smile. I could not help it. I still could not understand my connection to Draco, but it was something that was hard to ignore.

"Who's the letter from?"

My eyes shot open, and I saw Hermione standing before me, looking at me curiously. "Uh, my family," I said quickly. I stood up and put the rose and note in a safe place. Then I turned and flashed Hermione a smile. "I've got to go!" I dashed out of there before she had a chance to reply.

*

My heart was pounding as I opened the door to the Room of Requirements. I was surprised to find it empty. Draco always arrived before me. Had he changed his mind? Had the door not appeared for him?

"Crystal."

I spun around and saw Draco standing there. I let out a breath of relief.

Draco closed the door and stepped forward. Seeing my hesitancy, he stopped a few feet away. His expression as hard and confident. "Crystal, I am sorry," he said firmly. "I did not mean to hurt you."

I frowned. "I know." But that was part of the problem, wasn't it? He could not see how his actions affected me. I suddenly remembered the rose. "Why did you send me a white rose?"

"Because," Draco said, taking a careful step forward, "white represents innocence and purity." I let him walk closer. He was now only several inches away, staring down at me; his eyes seemed fierce like fire. "Like you," he murmured. "I understand now why it would be wise for you to stay away from me. You should stick with your Gryffindors."

I was surprised at what he was saying. Never, in all time had I known him, had he ever hinted in the slightest that he was in any way inferior to anyone else. And yet, he now seemed to be saying that I would be better off with a Gryffindor than him. Amazing. Perhaps Ginny had been right about giving him time to think. I was at a loss for words.

"But I can't stay away from you," Draco murmured. He brushed the back of his right hand against my cheek and then let it drop. "I want to mend what I've broken." He paused. "I broke up with Pansy two weeks ago. You were right. It was not a big deal; at least not to anyone but her."

"Thank you," I said softly. "Would you be ready to admit to everyone how you feel about me?"

Draco hesitated. "I've been thinking about that. Perhaps I would take the risk if I could be sure the information would stay completely within Hogwarts, but I can't." A grim look crossed his face. "You know our parents don't get along. My father forbids me to be around you."

"My father said the same thing," I said. I found it ironic how our fathers could be on opposite sides and still come to the same conclusion.

Draco did not seem surprised by the revelation. "So you understand what I'm getting at. If either of them were to hear about us, one or both would surely take matters into their own hands. They would make sure we stayed apart."

I had never really thought about that. I had assumed that Draco did not want anyone to know about us because it would wound his pride. However, this was a very different matter. "I understand."

Draco took my hands and his and stared into my eyes. "I'm not ashamed of you anymore. Perhaps, with time, we can convince our parents to change our mind. Then I would gladly declare the truth for all to hear. Until then, if we want to be together at all, it will have to be kept secret except to a trusted few." There was a hint of worry in his eyes. "What do you say? Will you take me back?"

I could not help but smile. He was being so kind and sincere. How could I not believe him? "Yes, I do, Draco." I let go of his hands and pulled him into a hug. I could feel the tension leave his body.

"Thank you," he whispered into my ear as I rested my head against his chest.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I relished the warmth of his body against mine. For the first time in a long time, I felt perfectly content. 


	20. Third Task

I actually woke up in time for breakfast on Saturday, June 5th. In fact, Hermione was the only other person in the dorm who was up. She was sitting on her bed brushing her hair. She seemed startled when she looked up. "Crystal," she said. "What are you doing up?"

I shrugged. "I'm hungry," I said, smiling mischievously. I could not tell her the real reason.

Hermione stared at me oddly. "Ok... good."

I skipped into the bathroom, humming to myself as I got ready. If Hermione had further suspicions about my strange behavior, she did not voice them. I dressed in a red tee-shirt and jeans. The clothes reminded me of America; they were comfortable.

When I was ready, I slipped my bag over my shoulder and headed to the Great Hall with Hermione. "Since you're up early, we can get some studying done," Hermione was saying.

I frowned as I tried to come up with an excuse to decline. It was nothing against her; I just already had plans. "Actually, I told my sister I'd spend the day with her," I said slowly.

Hermione blinked. "Oh? Well, that's ok. Family is important."

I smiled weakly. "Right." I felt bad about lying to her, but there was no way around her. I trusted her in general... just not about this specific issue. Even if she kept silent about it, I knew she would badger me about her opinion, which was something I did not need.

Ron and Harry were already sitting at the Gryffindor table, so we joined them. I did not say much as I ate quickly. I listened to my friends talk and smiled and nodded when appropriate. Finally, at the appropriate time, I excused myself and made my way to the Room of Requirements. Soon, I was safely inside.

"You're up early," Draco said with a smirk as he stood up from the couch and sauntered over to me.

"I know; you're a terrible influence on me," I said, smirking slightly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Happy birthday, Draco."

Draco wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his forehead against mine. "Thank you," he murmured.

"Oh, I got you something," I said, pulling apart from him. "I got it at our last Hogsmeade trip." I opened my bag and searched through it, smiling when I found what I wanted. I help it up to him. It was a rope necklace with a silver eagle pendant.

Draco took the necklace and looked at it curiously. "An eagle?"

"It's my Patronus," I said. "I thought it could remind you of me, and no one would know what it means."

"You can conjure a Patronus?" Draco said, seeming impressed.

"Yes. They emphasize it in third year at my old school."

Draco slipped the necklace around his neck. Then he held up the pendant, looking at it. "You're an eagle?"

I smiled slightly. "Yep. Independent, free..."

"Daring? Bold?" Draco said, stepping close to me again.

I shivered as I looked up at him. "Yeah. Do you like it?"

"I love it," Draco whispered. "Thank you, Crystal." He leaned his head down and kissed me.

I kissed him back eagerly. After awhile, we both pulled away and stood there gazing into each other's eyes. It was at moments like this that I found it impossible to believe that anything could ever go wrong.

"Let's spend the day here," Draco whispered.

"Of course," I said just as softly. "But should change up the room a bit. Let's do something fun."

"What do you want to do?"

"It's your birthday," I said, pulling away from him. "We can do whatever you want."

Draco appeared thoughtful. "I haven't been on a broom in awhile because of the Triwizard Tournament. I'm going to have to get some practice if I'm going to play Quidditch next year."

I grinned at him. "Alright. Let's get this place to turn into a field. You can do it, since it's your desire."

I slipped out of the room first. I quickly ran down the hall and turned the corner. We had to take all the necessary precautions. I waited until I was sure Draco had come out and went back in the room. Then I trotted back the way I had come.

Making the room appear was easier for me. I only had to wish to be with Draco, which usually worked. I smiled as the door appeared. I wondered what I would find. I gasped when I opened the door and stepped inside. I was in a huge grassy field. Looking up, I could see a ceiling, but other than that, it really felt like I was outside.

Draco walked towards me, holding two brooms. He handed one to me and said, "Let's have a race."

I chuckled as I took the broom from him. His idea sounded like loads of fun. I got on my broom, and we both sped away.

***

The third task of the Triwizard Tournament took place on Thursday, June 24th, right in the middle of exams. I sat with Harry, Ron, and Hermione at breakfast. The whole Gryffindor table was very loud. Everyone was excited about the third task. A screech owl arrived for Hermione, carrying her morning copy of the Daily Prophet as usual. She unfolded the paper, glanced at the front page, and spat out a mouthful of pumpkin juice all over it.

"What?" Harry and Ron said together, staring at her.

"Nothing," Hermione sad quickly, trying to shove the paper out of sight.

Ron grabbed it. He stared at the headline and said, "No way. Not today. That old cow."

"No," Ron said, and, just like Hermione, he attempted to push the paper out of sight.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"It's about me, isn't it?" Harry said.

"No," Ron said.

"Hey, Potter!" Draco shouted from across the Great Hall. I did not allow myself to look at him. "Potter! How's your head? You feeling all right? Sure you're not going to go berserk on us?" Draco was holding a copy of the Daily Prophet. Slytherins up and down the table were sniggering, twisting in their seats to see Harry's reaction.

"Let me see that," I said to Ron. I pulled the newspaper out of my hands and the opened it so that Harry and I could both read.

There was a picture of Harry beneath the headline:

"HARRY POTTER"  
"DISTURBED AND DANGEROUS"  
The boy who defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is unstable and possibly dangerous, writes Rita Skeeter, Special Correspondent. Alarming evidence has recently come to light about Harry Potter's strange behavior, which casts doubts upon his suitability to compete in a demanding competition like the Triwizard Tournament, or even to attend Hogwarts School.  
Potter, the Daily Prophet can exclusively reveal, regularly collapses at school, and is often heard to complain of pain in the scar on his forehead (relic of the curse with which You-Know-Who attempted to kill him). On Monday last, midway through a Divination lesson, your Daily Prophet reporter witnessed Potter storming from the class, claiming that his scar was hurting too badly to continue studying.  
It is possible, say top experts at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, that Potters brain was affected by the attack inflicted upon him by You-Know-Who, and that his insistence that the scar is still hurting is an expression of his deep-seated confusion.  
"He might even be pretending," said one specialist. "This could be a plea for attention."  
The Daily Prophet, however, has unearthed worrying facts about Harry Potter that Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, has carefully concealed from the wizarding public.  
"Potter can speak Parseltongue," reveals Draco Malfoy, a Hogwarts fourth year. "There were a lot of attacks on students a couple of years ago, and most people thought Potter was behind them after they saw him lose his temper at a dueling club and set a snake on another boy. It was all hushed up, though. But he's made friends with werewolves and giants too. We think he'd do anything for a bit of power."  
Parseltongue, the ability to converse with snakes, has long been considered a Dark Art. Indeed, the most famous Parselmouth of our times is none other than You-Know-Who himself. A member of the Dark Force Defense League, who wished to remain unnamed, stated that he would regard any wizard who could speak Parseltongue "as worthy of investigation. Personally, I would be highly suspicious of anybody who could converse with snakes, as serpents are often used in the worst kinds of Dark Magic, and are historically associated with evildoers." Similarly, "anyone who seeks out the company of such vicious creatures as werewolves and giants would appear to have a fondness for violence."  
Albus Dumbledore should surely consider whether a boy such as this should be allowed to compete in the Triwizard Tournament. Some fear that Potter might resort to the Dark Arts in his desperation to win the tournament, the third task of which takes place this evening.

I stared at the paper dumbfounded. This Rita Skeeter character had a serious problem.

"Gone off me a bit, hasn't she?" said Harry lightly, folding up the paper.

Over at the Slytherin table, Draco, Vincent, and Gregory were laughing at him, tapping their heads with their fingers, pulling grotesquely mad faces, and waggling their tongues like snakes. This bothered me, but I did not do anything about it.

I drowned out the rest of my friends' conversation as played with the food on my plate. I was slightly worried about the task that evening. I hoped everything would turn out all right.

*

The third task took place on the Quidditch field, but it was entirely transformed. A twenty-foot-high hedge ran all the way around the edge of it. There was a gap right in front of them: the entrance to the vast maze. The passage beyond it looked dark and creepy. I took a seat with Hermione and the Weasleys (Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had arrived with their son Bill to witness the event). The whole school was chatting excitedly.

The four champions stationed themselves at different parts of the maze. After the audience quieted down, the announcer began to speak:

"Ladies and gentlemen, the third and final task of the Triwizard Tournament is about to begin! Let me remind you how the points currently stand! Tied in first place, with eighty-five points each - Mr. Cedric Diggory and Mr. Harry Potter, both of Hogwarts School!" I cheered and applauded along with everyone else. "In second place, with eighty points - Mr. Viktor Krum, of Durmstrang Institute!" More applause. "And in third place - Miss Fleur Delacour, of Beauxbatons Academy!"

Harry looked up at us and waved. I smiled and waved back with the others.

"So...on my whistle, Harry and Cedric!" the announcer said. "Three - two - one -" He gave a short blast on his whistle, and Harry and Cedric hurried forward into the maze.

There was a second whistle. Krum entered the maze.

And a third. It was now Fleur's turn.

Waiting for the champions to return this time was harder than the last. For awhile, I just closed my eyes and took deep breaths. Finally, after a long time, something happened. Fleur was retrieved from the maze. She had lost.

A little bit later, Krum came back, defeated. That left just Cedric and Harry.

It took longer for them to return. I was not sure how much time had passed. The crowd had since long gone quiet. Well, either way, a Hogwarts student would be the champion. That was pretty exciting, wasn't it? The school should be proud. Still, I hoped the winner would be Harry.

And then the audience erupted in cheers. Both of the remaining champions had returned. Cedric was lying on the ground. Harry was collapsed over him, holding the Triwizard Cup in his hands. My eyes brightened, and I felt relieved. Harry had won!

Dumbledore and a bunch of others went over to them. I twisted and turned so that I could see what was happening. Was it just me or did Harry seem... frightened? I bit my lip in worry. What exactly had happened in that maze?

Suddenly, the crowd around Harry and Cedric began to shout: "He's dead!" "He's dead!" "Cedric Diggory! Dead!"

A cold chill past through me. The audience was immediately silenced. There was a buzzing in my ears as the scene progressed.

Amos Diggory was running towards the crowd that surrounded his son. Girls around me were screaming and sobbing hysterically. Ginny was clutching my arm. Moody was pulling Harry towards the castle. I was aware of nothing else.

*

I found myself in the hospital wing with Mrs. Weasley, Bill, Ron, and Hermione. Dumbledore arrived with Harry and a big, black dog. Mrs. Weasley immediately rushed towards them, crying, "Harry! Oh, Harry!"

Dumbledore moved between them. "Molly," he said, holding up a hand, "please listen to me for a moment. Harry has been through a terrible ordeal tonight. He has just had to relive it for me. What he needs now is sleep, and peace, and quiet. If he would like you all to stay with him," he added, looking around at Ron, Hermione, Bill, and me, "you may do so. But I do not want you questioning him until he is ready to answer, and certainly not this evening."

I was disappointed that my questions would not be answered, but I understood that it was what was best for Harry. The rest of us settled around him as he climbed into one of the beds to get some rest.

It was only several hours later that I found out the whole story. A bunch more people had stormed into the hospital wing, including Cornelius Fudge, Professor McGonagall, Snape, and Dumbledore.

From the bits of conversation, I found out that deaf eaters were responsible for the nights' events. Professor Moody had not been Moody at all, but a death eater in disguise. The real Moody was healing in the hospital wing, which answered a lot of my questions. And Voldemort was back. I was not exactly sure what this meant, but I knew that it was very bad.

Then Harry woke up. It was apparent that Fudge did not believe the story Harry had recounted to Dumbledore.

"Look, I saw Voldemort come back!" Harry shouted. He tried to get out of bed, but Mrs. Weasley forced him back. "I saw the Death Eaters! I can give you their names! Lucius Malfoy -"

Now, _that_ had an effect on me. I stared at Harry, dumbfounded.

"Malfoy was cleared!" Fudge said. "A very old family - donations to excellent causes -"

"Macnair!" Harry continued.

"Also cleared! Now working for the Ministry!"

"Avery - Nott - Crabbe - Goyle -"

I shut my eyes and clenched my teeth. Suddenly, I could not take it anymore. I stood up and dashed out of the room. I am sure no one noticed my absence. 


	21. Uncertain Future

Dumbledore addressed the school at breakfast the next morning. He basically told us to leave Harry alone and not ask him what had happened in the maze. It was a fair enough request. Harry had been through a lot. I already knew everything, anyway.

I did not feel like talking to anyone those next few days, not even Draco. He tried to talk to me, though. He pulled me into an empty classroom after lunch on Monday.

"Well, did Potter tell you what happened?" he asked, his eyes piercing mine.

I swallowed a lump in my throat. I did not want to be talking about this. All I could think about was his father... "Yes," I said in a soft voice.

"Well?" Draco said with raised eyebrows. "Are you going to tell me?"

I shook my head stubbornly. "It's not for you to know."

Draco's eyes tightened. "Come on, Crystal. You can trust me."

"It's not that. It's just..." I searched around for the right words. "I'm sure we'll all find out soon. I don't want to talk about it."

My answer frustrated Draco, but I would not budge. He reluctantly parted from me.

I had not seen him again by the end of the year feast. I did not feel much like feasting, however. I stared at my plate and took tiny bites while I waited for Dumbledore to give his speech.

The room went silent as the headmaster stood up from the staff table. "The end," he said looking around at the students, "of another year." He paused, and his eyes fell upon the Hufflepuff table. "There is much that I would like to say to you all tonight, but I must first acknowledge the loss of a very fine person, who should be sitting here," he gestured toward the Hufflepuffs, "enjoying our feast with us. I would like you all, please, to stand, and raise your glasses, to Cedric Diggory."

I stood along with everyone else; I felt my heart tighten. We all raised our glasses and said, "Cedric Diggory." We sat down.

"Cedric was a person who exemplified many of the qualities that distinguish Hufflepuff house," Dumbledore continued. "He was a good and loyal friend, a hard worker, he valued fair play. His death has affected you all, whether you knew him well or not. I think that you have the right, therefore, to know exactly how it came about. Cedric Diggory was murdered by Lord Voldemort."

My body tensed. I could hear a panicked whisper spread throughput the hall. Some people were staring at Dumbledore in horror. I resisted the urge to look for Draco's reaction.

"The Ministry of Magic," Dumbledore said, "does not wish me to tell you this. It is possible that some of your parents will be horrified that I have done so - either because they will not believe that Lord Voldemort has returned, or because they think I should not tell you so, young as you are. It is my belief, however, that the truth is generally preferable to lies, and that any attempt to pretend that Cedric died as the result of an accident, or some sort of blunder of his own, is an insult to his memory."

I stared straight at Dumbledore, not daring to look anywhere else.

"There is somebody else who must be mentioned in connection with Cedric's death," the headmaster said. "I am talking, of course, about Harry Potter. Harry Potter managed to escape Lord Voldemort. He risked his own life to return Cedric's body to Hogwarts. He showed, in every respect, the sort of bravery that few wizards have ever shown in facing Lord Voldemort, and for this, I honor him."

Dumbledore turned to Harry and raised his goblet. I did the same, along with most of the other students. I had to clench my teeth together to stop myself from shaking. I sputtered out Harry's name before sitting again.

"The Triwizard Tournament's aim was to further and promote magical understanding. In the light of what has happened - of Lord Voldemort's return - such ties are more important than ever before." Dumbledore looked from Madame Maxime and Hagrid, to Fleur Delacour and her fellow Beauxbatons students, to Viktor Krum and the Durmstrangs at the Slytherin table. "Every guest in this Hall will be welcomed back here at any time, should they wish to come. I say to you all, once again - in the light of Lord Voldemort's return, we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided. Lord Voldemort's gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.

"It is my belief- and never have I so hoped that I am mistaken - that we are all facing dark and difficult times. Some of you in this Hall have already suffered directly at the hands of Lord Voldemort. Many of your families have been torn asunder. A week ago, a student was taken from our midst.

"Remember Cedric. Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory." Dumbledore sat down. His speech had concluded.

I ate a little bit more but not much. I was thinking about what the headmaster had said. We needed to be united... Was that not what I had been saying all along? My message rang truer now than ever. We could not afford to be divided along house lines. We needed to stick together. I knew that continuing to act like the Slytherins were enemies could actually push them over to the other side. The last thing we needed was more enemies.

Friendship and trust... I knew I could trust my friends, but... Could I trust Draco? That depended on what I was referring to. I knew he would never purposefully betray me; he would be loyal to me, but was that enough? If everyone was going to end up having to make a hard choice, what side would he land on?

We might have to choose between what is right and what is easy? Of course I would choose what is right. That was what I had been doing since I arrived in Britain. I wondered how far this would take me. Would I be tempted to give up and take the easy route? Maybe, especially if it meant I had to continue to defy my family.

I sighed heavily. This was too much for one day. I would have time to think about everything in the summer. I was not hungry anymore, so I got up and left without saying a word.

***

I got up early the next day. Awhile ago, I had agreed to meet Draco before we left on the Hogwarts' Express. On the way to the Room of Requirements, I took deep breaths to prevent shaking. My mind had been screaming at me for the past week. I felt caught in a trap. I was not sure I knew what was right after all.

Draco had his usual cool demeanor as I entered. Had he not been affected by the past events at all? Perhaps he was just good at hiding it. "H-hello D-Draco," I stammered, attempting a weak smile.

Draco walked up to me until he was only several inches away. He stared down at me, his face unreadable. "Is something wrong?" he asked in a calm manner.

I swallowed. I had to say it. I had to get it out or it would drive me mad. "What Harry witnessed last week... You know now. But there's more. There were death eaters with them. Harry told me who-" It was all I could do to keep from trembling. Why did he have to keep looking at me like that?

"Go on," Draco said, his voice placid. His eyes were blazing. "Do you remember any names?"

He knew what I was about to say, I realized. He knew it. I swallowed again. When I spoke again, it came out as a whisper, "Your father."

Draco stared at me for a long while. I could not interpret his expression. Finally, he stepped back and said in a tone that suggested intrigue, "That does not surprise me. He's still loyal."

"Wh-what about you?" I made myself ask. "Who's side are you on?"

Draco arched his eyebrows. Then he stepped close to me again and said, "I'm on _your_ side."

I shivered. This did not answer my question.

"I need you to be on my side," he murmured, looking deep into my eyes.

My throat had closed up; I did not know what to say. Then I noticed he was wearing the eagle necklace I had given him. Suddenly, I knew the immediate solution to the dilemma. "I am," I whispered. Whatever bond we had forged, it would have to be enough for now.

Draco gave a slight nod of his head. He brushed my cheek with the back of his hand and said, "I want to see you this summer, but we will have to be sneaky about it to escape detection."

"Ok," I said softly. "Let's try it."

Draco turned his hand so that his palm was pressed against my cheek. "I'll send you a letter once I figure out a plan. For now, we have to part. Goodbye, Crystal." He brought his other hand around to the back of my head and kissed me.

There was something different about this kiss from all the others we had shared, but I could not quite decipher what it was. We pulled away and stared into each other's eyes. This too, was different. I had a suspicion of at least part of the reason.

Everything _had_ changed. Evil was looming before us. We could say everything was going to be fine, but something told me that life as we knew it had been fundamentally altered. There was no going back. What did this mean for Draco and me? The tension that was already there would only continue to grow. I wondered if what we had between us would eventually cause the destruction of us both.

*

I chose a compartment with Ginny and Luna. Emily was sitting with her own friends, so I did not have to worry about her. We were situated towards the front of the train. I had just gotten some treats form the candy cart when I happened to hear a conversation coming from a few compartments back.

I could unmistakably hear Draco's voice. Not wanting to get caught, I slid back into my own compartment but left the door open and moved my ear towards the opening so that I could hear what was being said.

"You've picked the losing side, Potter!" Draco declared. "I warned you! I told you you ought to choose your company more carefully, remember? When we met on the train, first day at Hogwarts? I told you not to hang around with riffraff like this! Too late now. Potter! They'll be the first to go, now the Dark Lord's back! Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers first! Well - second - Diggory was the f-"

There was a series of bangs; I quickly shut the compartment door, not wanting to know what had happened. I leaned my back against the compartment door. My breathing was shallow, my heartbeat quick, and my eyes darted around wildly.

"What's wrong?" Luna asked.

"Are you alright?" Ginny asked, gazing at me in concern.

I swallowed and gave her a weak smile. "I'm fine." I walked over to her and sat down. I focused on taking deep breaths. I could not allow myself to think. If I did not think, I would not break. Finally, when I knew I could control myself, I turned to Ginny and asked steadily, "What is going to happen now?"

Ginny stared at me for a long time before replying. "I don't know, Crystal," she said. She must have seen the terror in my eyes, for she put a comforting arm around me. I calmed, but I knew it would not last.

*

I was glad to get off the train and rejoin my family. They had heard about the third task of the Triwizard Tournament, so they immediately began to ask concerned questions. I was gratefully that Emily took the initiative to explain, while I quietly listened to the exchange.

By the time we reached our house, my parents had gotten the gist of what had happened. Gabri looked horrified. Mom did not seem much better. "I can't believe this," she said in shock. "We left Britain to escape He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! And now he's back?"

Dad put a hand on his wife's shoulder. We were all sitting down in the living room. Emily sat in the middle of Lizzie and me, while Mom and Dad were in the love seat across from us. "Have either of you spoken to Harry Potter?" Dad asked.

I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to divulge the information. "I have," I said quietly. "I was there when he told Cornelius Fudge what happened."

"Do you know how this happened?" Dad asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know exactly. Harry just said there were a bunch of death eaters there when Voldemort came back."

"Don't say his name," Dad said. "Did Harry give you names?"

I shut my mouth. This I refused to answer.

"_Crystal_," Dad said sternly. "Who did Harry name?"

The shaking was starting again. I folded my hands together in an attempt to conceal it. "I-I don't remember."

"It's ok," Mom said gently. "You can tell us."

I shook my head stubbornly. "No!" I suddenly cried. I leapt up from the couch. My breathing had grown shallow, and my heartbeat was quickening again. I could not take this. "I don't want to talk about it!"

"Crystal," Dad said with an edge in his voice. "We only want the truth."

"Let's leave her alone," Mom said softly. "It sounds like she's been through a lot."

I took that as my cue to get out of there. As I left, I heard Dad muttering something about how we should have never left America. I was not sure if I agreed.

Once I was in my room, I slammed my door shut. I leaned against it and let my body drop to the floor. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. Only then did I dare let the tears fall. A thought was pushing at the back of my mind. This whole time I had been wondering about where Draco's loyalties lied... but what about my own? 


	22. Celebrations

I felt better the next day. My parents did not ask again about what Harry has told me, and I was happy to not divulge the information. The Ministry of Magic would tell them everything they needed to know, right? I remembered Fudge's reaction to Harry's story, and I was not so sure. I quickly shook the feeling off. It was not my problem. It was the summer. It was time to relax and enjoy life.

I did not even realize it was the Fourth of July until my dad announced it at breakfast. How do you feel about setting off fireworks tonight?" he asked us.

I agreed to the idea, but thinking about it made me kind of sad. This would be my first Independence Day away from America. I suddenly felt very homesick.

"Why don't you put on a patriotic shirt?" my mom suggested. "It will get you in the mood."

I excused myself from the table to do just that. I found one of my old shirts; it was red with an American flag printed on it. I had only been able to wear it once at Hogwarts due to the strict dress code. Putting it on made me smile.

The rest of the day went pretty well. My family engaged in traditional American activities, and we talked and laughed about the good old times back in Minnesotans. By the time the fireworks arrived, I was feeling really good. I stood looking up at the magical display in awe.

An irony suddenly struck me. "We're celebrating America's independence from England while we're in England," I noted to my family.

Mom laughed. "I'm sure the British don't mind anymore."

Emily smirked. "But it's still funny."

Not long after, we all had to go back inside and get ready for bed. I was still missing my country, but the day had given me a lot of enjoyment. I pushed the looming future out of my mind. I would focus on the present and enjoy each day I was given.

***

I received a letter from Draco the next day. A black owl had flown into the room while I was eating breakfast with my mom and sisters. I smiled upon reading it. He wanted to meet me in two days at Regent's Park, which he said was near King's Cross Station. I had not been around London much, so I was not exactly sure where that was, but I knew I would be able to figure it out.

"Who's it from?" my Mom asked curiously.

"A friend from school," I said. I bit my lip in an attempt to hide a smile that was threatening to cover myself.

Emily saw through me, though, and she smirked. "Is it a _boy_?"

"Ooo..." Lizzie said with a grin.

I flushed. "Maybe..." I said awkwardly. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably.

"Are you dating someone?" Mom asked. She was looking at me with keen interest now.

I tried to find the right words to explain the situation. "Not exactly... I don't want to talk about it."

Emily stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder. "We'll talk later," she said before leaving the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes. I was sure we would. I too excused myself to prevent further interrogation.

***

Tuesday was my birthday. I was the only one in my family to have a summer birthday; everyone else's was during my spring term. I woke up to both of my sisters kneeling by my bed with cheeky grins on their faces. It was quite creepy to wake up to that, actually.

I sat up slowly and blinked at them. "Hello," I said cautiously.

"Happy birthday!" Emily and Lizzie exclaimed, throwing up their hands.

I gave them a slight smile. "Thanks, but can you let me get ready now?"

"Sure," Emily said, standing up. "Get ready quickly, though. We've got things to do."

"There's a party!" Lizzie said excitedly as she followed her older sister out of my door.

"Party?" I said in confusion. But they were already gone. I shook my head and got out of bed. I would find out soon enough.

My mom was waiting with breakfast in the kitchen. "Happy birthday, Crystal," she said as I walked in. She came over to me and gave me a hug and kiss. "I made breakfast for you."

I glanced over at the table. There were pancakes, toast, and bacon. Usually we made our own breakfast. I gave my mom a small smile. "Thank you."

"Dad is getting home from work early today," Mom said. "After that, we can start the celebrations."

"What did I hear about a party?"

Mom smiled mysteriously. "You'll find out later."

Not wanting to think about it much longer I sat down and ate my breakfast. Then I joined Emily and Lizzie outside. We lounged around, talking about the previous year and our new lives. I had not talked with my sisters like this in a long time. It felt really good.

"You should tell Lizzie about Draco," Emily said, lying down on her back in the grass.

I was sitting in the grass between my sisters. I frowned at the suggestions. "How about I don't?"

"Draco?" Lizzie said curiously.

"You've seen him," Emily said. "Crystal ran into him when we were getting our school supplies last summer. Lucius Malfoy is his father, and Dad hates him."

"Hate is a strong word," I said.

Emily shrugged. "He's an enemy as far as our parents are concerned."

"And they don't know Draco," I said, gritting my teeth to fight back righteous indignation.

"Is he your friend?" Lizzie asked.

Emily smirked. "Boyfriend. Secretly. He's a Slytherin and she's a Gryffindor, so they can't be seen together. Isn't it romantic?"

I shot my sister a look. Did she have to go blabbing about everything? "I think you've said enough," I grumbled.

Lizzie, however, was grinning at me. "Sounds exciting. Tell me more."

I sighed. Well, it was too late now. I quickly explained my relationship with Draco to her in as few words as possible. Luckily, I was interrupted by the fact that it was time for lunch. The topic did not get brought up again that say.

*

The party turned out to be a gathering at the Weasley's house. I was pleasantly surprised to find the home decorated and filled with food. It was great to see and talk to my friends. I could tell things were still awkward between George and me, but I was able to laugh and joke around with Fred.

We had cake and ice cream after dinner. Then I received presents form my friends and family members. To my surprise, Lizzie gave me a teapot with the British flag, the Union Jack, decorating it. I stared at it in confusion. "Um, thank you?"

"England is awesome!" my youngest sister said with a grin. "You should check it out."

"We've taken her to tea rooms," Dad explained. "She's really taken to them."

I laughed. "I see. Thank you, Lizzie."

After presents, we all sat around the living room talking with each other. I was glad my family had friends close by. It felt like we were all connected in a way. I knew I would always have a place to go if need be.

"Crystal, we have something to ask you," Mr. Weasley said after some time had passed.

From my place on the floor next to Ginny, I looked up at him curiously.

Mr. Weasley paused. "Did your father tell you about the Order of the Phoenix? It was back when he lived in Britain."

I blinked. "No. He hasn't told me much about those times."

"I didn't think the girls were ready to hear such dark stories," Dad explained. "And it was all in the past."

Mr. Weasley nodded. "It's not in the past any longer. Since You-Know-Who has returned, so has the Order to stop his plans. You are too young, but your parents will be joining. We have found a secret location for our hideout, and it must be occupied at all times. My family will be moving in this weekend. Eventually we would like all members of the Order to stay there for as long as possible, but the house needs some dusting up. Anyway, we would like to know if you would want to join our family now or wait until we are ready to have your whole family move in later in the summer."

I looked at him in surprise. "Wow," I said, not sure what else to say.

"We understand either way," Mrs. Weasley said. "Ginny suggested we invite you. We wanted to give you a choice."

I looked at Ginny, and she smiled at me encouragingly. I looked away and bit my lip. I wanted to accept, but... "Would I be allowed to leave this hideout?"

Mrs. Weasley frowned. "We would prefer as little movement as possible so that our secret is not detected."

My family was staring at me intently. I could not read their faces, but I bet Lizzie and my parents would prefer I stay home because they had not seen much of me recently. That was enough to sway my opinion. "Thank you, but I'll have to pass," I said. "I had wanted to know London this summer, and I'd like to spend time with my family."

Mr. Weasley nodded. "Very well. Your father will tell you when we are ready for all of you to join us."

I nodded, smiling slightly. Of course, the real reason I could not go was because I would be prevented from seeing Draco. I knew more than one person in the room understood that.

"I'm gonna miss you this summer," Ginny said.

I gave her a sympathetic smile. "Me too." Did my decision mean I would have missed Draco more?

*

Like expected, it was easy to find Regent's Park. It was a wide, open area with benches and a sidewalk around it. I did not know where I was supposed to go, but Draco was relatively easy to spot, so I assumed he had not yet arrived.

I decided to take a seat on one of the benches. There were not many people around, but every once and a while someone would walk by. I enjoyed watching the muggles. I wondered what their lives were like, especially since they came from a country much different than my native one. I honestly did want to get to know London a bit more before I would have to leave it again.

I brightened when I saw Draco strolling toward me from the right – the opposite direction from which I had come. He was holding a sack roughly tied together with rope. I stood up to greet him. "Draco!" I said happily. I closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms around his neck. He hugged me back as best as was possible. More softly, I added, "I missed you."

Draco chuckled lightly. "You saw me four days ago."

I just pulled back and smiled at him. I did not say it had felt like an eternity since then. I was in a much better emotional state than I had been. Besides, it really had been while since we had truly enjoyed each other's company.

"I missed you too," Draco said after a moment of silence.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed the bag in his hand moved. Then I thought I heard a muffled sound. I looked at Draco with raised eyebrows.

"I have a gift," he said, handing the bag to me. "Happy birthday."

I definitely felt the bag moving as I took it from him. Curiously, I opened it and looked inside. There was something fuzzy and white at the bottom of the sack. I stuck my hand in and lifted it out. I gasped upon what was revealed. It was a kitten!

I dropped the bag and held the kitten in both hands. It was all white with light blue eyes. After gaping at the cat for several seconds, I looked at Draco incredulously. "You got me a cat?"

Draco nodded. He was frowning slightly, and he looked like he might be worried. "He's white... like snow. I know you love snow."

My face broke out into a grin. I was impressed with his thoughtfulness. "I do." My eyes fell to the kitten again. "I'll name him 'Snowflake.'" The kitten let out a tiny "meow," causing me to smile in delight. Then I gave Draco a reassuring look. "He's perfect." I set the kitten down on the bench so that I could pull Draco into another hug. He felt relieved. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Draco murmured. We broke apart when Snowflake meowed. Draco looked at the kitten, a small smirk on his face. "You better keep an eye on him. He does not like to be left alone."

"Good to know," I said with a smile. I picked Snowflake up off of the bench and then sat down, placing him on my lap. I smiled at the kitten as I stroked his fur.

"Did you have a good birthday?" Draco asked, sitting down beside me.

I nodded. "It was great. It was two days after the Fourth of July – American Independence Day. That's a great holiday. We celebrated with fireworks and everything."

Draco chuckled. "Americans," he teased.

I rolled my eyes and playfully bumped into him with my shoulder. He responded by wrapping an arm around my waist, holding onto me tightly. I smiled; I was unable to resist him. As Snowflake settled onto my lap with my hands loosely around him, I rested my head against Draco's chest and closed my eyes. I breathed deeply.

It was so great to be able to be out in the world with Draco. No one here knew us. They would not judge or condemn. My past worries seemed to float away with the wind. I had the sense that everything was going to work out for the best. I was with Draco, and that was all that counted in the end. 


	23. Summer Fun

I was smiling as I carried Snowflake into my house. Emily was in the living room working on what looked to be homework. I she looked up when I entered, and then she gasped. "Kitty!" she exclaimed. She got up and bounded over to me.

"Meow," Snowflake said.

"Kitty?" I heard Lizzie's voice. Soon she trampled down the stairs to join us.

"His name is Snowflake," I said, petting the kitten's back. "Draco gave him to me for my birthday."

"Aww..." Emily cooed. "Can I hold him?"

I nodded. I carefully transitioned the kitten from my hands to hers. Just then, our mom walked into the room. "Where did that kitten come from?" she asked in a surprised voice.

I had to think quickly. "The friend I was visiting with gave him to me as a birthday present. His name is Snowflake."

"Oh. That was nice." Mom smiled as she walked over to get a better look at the kitten.

I let out a breath of relief. I smiled slightly as Snowflake was passed around. In this house, he was sure to get a lot of love and attention.

***

On Saturday, I met Draco at that same park. This time, he was there waiting for him. I could see a smile starting to form on his face when I approached. Like I had, he greeted me with a hug. "Hello to you too," I said as I hugged him back. I pulled away and smiled. "What do you want to do today?"

"You said you have not had a chance to explore London, so I thought I would give you a tour," he said.

"That would be great!" I said with a grin. I paused. "You mean, even all of the touristy muggle sites?"

"Of course," Draco said, seeming amused. "I'll show you everything."

"You've actually spent time in the muggle parts of the city?" Somehow, I had not been expecting that.

Draco shrugged. "London is a great place for a wizard to go when he wants to be alone. No one bothers me here."

I nodded in understanding. I felt an urge to ask about his home life, but I held it back. It was too dangerous. I was afraid of the answers I would find.

"Nice shirt," Draco commented.

My shirt displayed the Union Jack. I looked down at it before smiling at Draco slightly. "These are actually quite popular in America. Our countries are friends. And we have a shared heritage."

Draco chuckled. "I see. Shall we be off?" He held out his hand to me.

I smiled and took it in answer. It felt so good to be able to walk and hold hands with him. It was almost like we were a normal couple. I pushed any doubts I had to the back of my mind; now was not the time.

I was having a great time with Draco. He took me around to all of the major sites in the city. He seemed amused by my fascination with everything. Hey, I liked history, and there was a lot in London. The government buildings were especially interesting. England had a queen!

After all the fun, I was reluctant to leave, but Draco assured me that we would be back soon.

***

The next time I met Draco, it was my turn to decide what we would do. I knew the perfect activity. I arrived at Hyde Park (we were switching it up as an extra precaution) with an American football in my hands. It had been a _long_ time since I had engaged in the sport.

Draco was already waiting for me. His eyes fell on the football, and a puzzled expression crossed his face. "What is that thing?"

I smiled. "It's a football," I said happily.

Draco blinked. "Aren't balls supposed to be round?"

I shrugged. "Not in American football."

Draco eyed the ball almost warily. "What does it do?"

"Nothing! It's a muggle sport. I told you about it, remember?"

Draco appeared taken back. He looked at me incredulously. "You expect me to partake in a _muggle_ sport?"

I rolled my eyes. I had almost forgotten who I was talking to. I had to choose my words carefully, though. I did not want to fight or even have a creative discussion. We were there to have fun. "American wizards play the sport as well," I said carefully. "So you can consider it a mixed sport. I'm sure when wizards can think of a magical element to the game, they will. For now, this is what we've got. We can't even really play with two people. Let's just toss the ball around. It will be fun." I gave him what I hoped to be a convincing smile.

He raised an eyebrow at me. I was about to think I had failed when he said, "Alright. I suppose I can give it a go."

I flashed him a grin. "Great! Let's go over there." I motioned towards the open grass of the park.

"What exactly are we supposed to do?" Draco asked as he followed me onto the grass.

"I'll show you," I said. "Stay there." I walked until we were several yards apart. Then I turned to face him. "Put your fingers on the laces. Then pull your arm back and throw." I did just as I had instructed.

The ball whizzed in the air. Draco held up both of his hands, taking a defense-like stance. The ball hit his hands and fell to the ground. He looked at me with raised eyebrows. "You're right; that was fun."

I rolled my eyes. "You were supposed to catch it."

"I don't know how to catch this odd-shaped thing," Draco said indignantly.

I held in a sigh. This was going to be more work than I originally thought. "To catch the ball, hold your hands to make a triangle." I demonstrated with my own hands. "The ball will slide through. Throw it and I'll show you."

Draco picked up the football, and as he did so, he stared at it as if he were not sure it was not going to explode in his hands. He then carefully pulled his arm back like I had shown him and threw it.

His form needed some practice, but he had understood the basics of my instructions. I stepped forward and easily caught the ball. "Like that," I said.

"What is the point of this?"

"It's fun. You'll get the hang of it."

Draco just shook his head. Still, he held up his hands, indicating to me that I should pass him the ball.

We continued to play for awhile. Some people who passed by looked at us strangely, but most left us alone. When I figured Draco had had enough, I called for a break. I lay down on the grass and stared up at the sky. A minute later, I could feel Draco lay down beside me.

"That wasn't too bad," he said.

I turned on my side so that I could look at him, and I smirked. "We can't exactly fly on brooms in the middle of London."

Draco turned to face me as well. He chuckled. "That's true. I suppose this is the best we are going to get."

"It's better if you have more people," I said. "If we were in America, we could easily round up a gang of willing players."

"I'm sure that would be fantastic," Draco murmured. We were only inches away from each other. He slowly lifted his hand and placed it on my cheek. Staring into my eyes, he said, "Perhaps if the situation here gets too bad, we could run away to America together."

The idea made me smile. Yes, I would like that. It would be a dream come true. "After we finish school."

Draco chuckled. "Of course." He scooted closer to me and then kissed me. I closed my eyes and kissed him. I knew England was not the most PDA-friendly, but I did not care who saw us, and I doubted he did either. For us, everything was perfect.

***

"I'm going to the city to see my friend," I called to my parents as I headed for the door.

"This sounds like a pretty good friend," Mom said, stepping into the kitchen. "You should invite him over for dinner sometime."

I looked over my shoulder at her and said, "Ok. Maybe." I was glad how calm I sounded. I would need to figure out a reason for my 'friend' declining. I was sure Draco and I would be able to think of something.

It was the end of July, and we had so far succeeded in escaping detection. I was glad everything was going so well. London really was a great place to hang out. I would be almost sad when it would be time to leave, though I loved Hogwarts as well.

Draco was already at the park when I arrived. He immediately came towards me and captured my mouth in a kiss. I loved his greetings. We kept our arms around each other as we broke the kiss. "Good morning, Crystal," he murmured.

The intensity of his gaze caused me to shiver. "Good morning, Draco." His eyes were captivating, they were so deep and blue, and they full of emotions of which all I could not identify. I could get lost in them forever.

"I hope I'm not interrupting something," an unknown voice said.

I felt Draco's whole body immediately tense, and I knew something was wrong. Fear struck me; I did not want to turn and see who was there. Draco, however, had other plans. He let go of me and turned to face the intruder. I was forced to do the same.

I could not help the gasp of surprise that escape my mouth. It was Lucius Malfoy!

"This is not what it looks like," Draco said in a hard tone.

Lucius raised his eyebrows. "Oh, really?" He strolled towards us, his hands behind his back. "It looks to me like you two are getting a little too _close_." He tried to push Draco and me away from each other with his arms.

Something in me snapped. "No!" I cried. I quickly returned to Draco's side and grabbed onto his arm. To my relief, he did not resist. I was not going to let Lucius take Draco away from me. He was _mine_.

"That's what I thought," Lucius said icily. "Do your parents know where you are, Miss Hansen?"

I faltered. "They know I'm in London with a friend," I aid feebly.

Lucius gave me a long stare. "I see. As I doubt they would much approve of your company, let's go pay them a visit, shall we?"

I stiffened. That did _not_ sound like such a good idea to me. Draco looked at me and whispered, "We better do as he says."

I nodded, figuring he knew better. Lucius seemed pleased, and he turned and began to walk off. It was all we could do to follow. I let go of Draco's arm and he put it around me. I was glad he was close. We could get through this together.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

I did not respond. I did not blame him for letting his father find out about us. One of us was bound to slip sometime. Now all we could do was wait and hope for the best. 


	24. Trapped

We were at my house. Lucius rang the doorbell, while I stood back with Draco. We had all spoken few words since the encounter at the park. I knew something terrible was coming, but I had no idea how to prevent it.

The door opened and my father appeared. He looked at Lucius in surprise. "Malfoy," he said rather calmly. "What are you doing here?"

Lucius stepped aside so that my dad could see Draco and me. My mom and sisters had appeared at the door to see what was going on. "I just thought you and your wife would like to know with whom your daughter has been spending all of her time," Lucius said.

Now all eyes were on Draco and me. I felt tense, and I stared down at the ground, not wanting to face my family. Part of me wanted to stand up and defend my relationship with Draco, but I knew that would probably not end well. They were adults, and they would not listen to me. Besides, I doubted Draco join me. He did not seem too thrilled by our current predicament.

Mom let out a gasp. "No, this can't be. She said she's been out with a friend."

"I think they have a little more than friendship on their minds," Lucius said scathingly.

"You mean they've been dating?" Mom said incredulously.

I cringed. Why did she say that like it was such a bad thing? Couldn't I make my own choices?

"Crystal," Dad said in a hard tone, "is this true?"

I willed myself to lift my head and face him. Lying seemed pointless at the moment. There was only one way to go. "Y-yes," I said in a shaky voice. I swallowed and dared to add, "And I'm not sorry."

My parents seemed shocked at this confession. Emily and Lizzie backed away slowly; there were guilty looks on their faces. I glanced at Draco. He appeared deeply troubled. I wanted to touch him and comfort him, but someone I doubted that was the best idea.

"I told you to stay away from him," Dad said.

My eyes flashed in anger. "You don't know him! I can make my own decisions."

Lucius shook his head. "You need to have better control over your children."

"Like you do over yours?" said Dad. "It is pretty apparent you don't approve of this either."

"Believe me, I will take care of it," Lucius said. He swung around to land a hard gaze on his son. Draco immediately looked down. Instinctively, I grabbed onto his hand. I did not know what kind of trouble he was in for, but I had a feeling it would be worse than my own.

"We will speak with Crystal as well," Dad said. "You have no further business here."

"Very well," Lucius said, straightening up. "Draco, let's go home. _Now_."

I held onto Draco's arm with my free hand. I was not yet ready to let him go. I gave him a fearful look.

Draco looked at with gentle eyes; I could have sworn I saw compassion in there. "It will be ok," he whispered. "I have to go."

I nodded and very reluctantly let go of him. I winced as Lucius came up to him, roughly grabbed his shoulder, and steered him away. My eyes trailed them as they left, and it felt like my heart was being twisted. No one said anything until they were out of sight.

"Crystal," Dad said in a gentle voice, "will you come inside? Your mother and I want to talk to you."

I turned to them and nodded wordless. I saw my sisters run off as I entered. I wished I could do the same. I let my parents lead me into the living room. Then I faced them, a sad look on my face. "What?" I mumbled. Did they really have to make everything worse?

My parents did not seem angry, though. They were looking at me in concern. "I don't understand, Crystal," Dad said. "I warned you to stay away from that boy. Now you're dating him?"

"I took what you said into consideration," I began slowly, "but I decided that it was worth the risk."

"That was not your decision to make," Dad said in a harder tone.

My eyes narrowed slightly. "It's my life!"

"Honey, we're just trying to look out for you," Mom said in a soft tone.

"We know more than you do," Dad said. "We're your parents and you're going to have to listen to us."

I could feel anger bubbling below the surface. I gritted my teeth. "What if you're wrong? Can't we discuss?" Surely, they had o let me have a say!

"There's nothing to discuss," said Dad. "The Malfoys are bad news. The kind of environment young Draco has been raised cannot be good."

"So it's not his fault!" I said. "He can't help who his family is. If no one unlike them is ever near him, how is he supposed to know there is an alternative way of life? By forbidding me to be around him, you're almost guaranteeing he will end up like his father!"

"He's not your responsibility, honey," Mom said.

"Aren't we all each other's responsibility?" I countered. "Don't we all have a duty to try and help each other be better? What if someone had dared to get close to Voldemort when he was young?"

"Don't say his name, Crystal," Dad said sternly.

I ignored him. "Someone could have swayed him to change his mind. Maybe not one person, but if many people had pitched in, I'm sure it could have been done. We can't give up people as hopeless, especially those who are young enough to still have a high chance of breaking away from what their parents and society expect of them." I was breathing heavily by the time I was finished, and my eyes were blazing fiercely.

My parents were staring at me with their mouths partially opened. Finally, Dad said calmly, "Crystal, _maybe_ you would have an argument if you were merely seeking to be Draco's friend, but that is not the case. You are young, and your hormones may get the better of you."

"It's not your fault," Mom said quickly. "It's natural. These kinds of feelings can blind you to the truth and get yourself into danger without knowing it."

I could not believe what I was hearing. They did not trust me? I knew better than to follow my emotions all the time. That was the whole reason I had been so reluctant to go out with Draco in the first place. "You don't have to worry about me," I said in a low tone. "I can make my own choices. I can handle this."

"I don't think you can," Dad said, raising his voice. "There are dark times ahead. I don't think you understand how serious the situation is."

"I understand!" I exclaimed. "I was there when Harry came back with a dead Cedric, not you! I was there when Harry explained what happened! I heard Dumbledore speak to us about standing united to face the evil that may come! I know we need more friends and fewer enemies. Trust me to make the right choices."

"I do not think you are emotionally stable or else you would not be talking back to me," said Dad. He sounded angry now as well. "Do I have to ground you to make your point clear?"

"Do whatever you want!" I cried. "It won't make a difference!" I turned and ran up the stairs. I kept running until I found my room. I raced inside and slammed the door. Then I fell to the floor and began to sob.

*

I stayed in my room for hours after the argument with my parents. I was lying on my bed when I heard a knock on the door. By then, I was too tired and weary to feel tense. "Come in," I said half-heartedly. I slowly sat up to see who intruding upon my sorrow.

The door slowly opened, and Emily slipped inside. "Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," I muttered. I swung my legs over the side of the bed so that I was facing her.

"Are you ok?" Emily asked in concern. "I heard you fighting with Mom and Dad about Draco."

I let out a heavy sigh. "I'm fine, I guess. I will be, at least. This was just... unexpected."

"Are you going to see Draco again?" Her eyes seemed worried.

I nodded. "Of course. They can't control me while I'm at school, and Draco and I are great at sneaking around there."

"Of course; he's a Slytherin," Emily said with a shrug.

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

Emily frowned. She seemed hesitant to explain. "Well, Slytherins would rather use their cunning and wits to get out of a tricky situation than to stand up to the problem with courage like a Gryffindor would." She gave me a serious look. "Are _you_ ok with all this running around and hiding? It seems to me like you would rather tackle the problem head-on."

I felt troubled, so I looked away. I did not want to admit that she was right. "Having courage is great, but it does not mean you will always win," I said softly. "There's a time and place for sneaking around, and right now, I think that's our best bet."

"Ok," Emily said, sounding uncertain, "but you're going to have to fight at some point."

I watched her turn and leave. She was right about that too. When the time came, would Draco be ready?

***

Draco and I could no longer meet each other, but that did not mean we could not continue to send each other letters. The days I received a letter were always the brightest. Draco always knew the right words to say to make me smile. One day in the middle of August, he went me a red rose. The note's simple explanation was: courage.

I was smiling at the note, the rose in my hand, when I heard a knock on my door. I immediately froze. I spun around and hid both the rose and note behind my back. "Come in!"

I let out a breath of relief when Lizzie entered. "Mom and Dad want to talk to us," she said.

I smiled weakly. "Ok. I'll be down in a minute."

Lizzie nodded and walked off.

I found a hiding place for the rose and placed the letter with all the others. Then I skipped down the stairs to meet my family. Everyone was gathered in the living room. I took a seat on the couch between my sisters.

"Good, you're here," Dad said. "Now, you remember at Crystal's birthday party Arthur Weasley invited us to move in with them at the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, where I've been joining them all summer?"

"Yes," I said. I could vaguely remember the conversation.

"They are now ready for us. I would like us all to move in so that we can be closer to the Order. I have been helping organize wizards in America against You-Know-Who. This is dangerous business, so it is best if there is as little movement in and out of headquarters as possible."

"It will only be for a couple of weeks for Crystal and Emily," Mom said. "And you'll be with the Weasleys. Is this alright with you guys?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

"Ok," my sisters said.

Dad nodded. "Great. We'll leave as soon as possible."

***

"Crystal!"

I brightened when I saw my friends in the hall of the upstairs of the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. My sisters walked past me into the room where we would be saying. "Hey, Hermione," I said, and I gave her a quick hug. "How have you been?"

"Pretty good," she said. "And you?"

I shrugged. "Ok." I looked past her at Ron and Harry. "What about you two?" My eyes flickered to Harry. "How are you doing?"

"I've been worse," Harry said.

"He got attacked by dementors and almost got expelled from Hogwarts for using magic!" Ron exclaimed.

I gasped. "That's terrible!"

"It turned out alright, though," Harry said.

"Crystal."

I screamed when Fred and George suddenly appeared out of nowhere. They both laughed at my reaction. "That was not funny!" I said, glaring at them.

"They've been doing that ever since they passed their apparition tests," Ron said with a roll of his eyes.

"Fabulous," I muttered.

Fred slung an arm around my shoulders. "Aw, what's wrong dear?"

I bit my lip. "Nothing." I glanced at George, but he looked away.

"I think we've got some business to take care of, Fred," George said suddenly. "Let's go."

"Wait!"I said quickly. "I need to talk to you." I was tired of the way we were acting around each other. I wanted to fix this if I could.

George frowned, appearing troubled. "Well..."

"Let's go in here," Fred said, motioning towards the next room.

"Good luck," Hermione whispered to me as she passed with Ron and Harry.

I nodded at her in thanks. Then I followed Fred and George into the room. I had been hoping to talk to George alone, but I supposed this would work.

The three of us formed a sort of triangle. Fred clapped his hands together and said, "Now, what's the problem here?"

"There's no problem," George said, looking away.

I sighed. "Yes, there is." I gave him a sad look. "I'm sorry about what happened. I never meant to hurt you. I just want us to be friends again."

George looked at me with a pained expression. "I don't know if I know how, Crystal."

"It might help if we all hang out together," Fred suggested. "It will make it less awkward, and you two can get used to being around each other again. Besides, there can be no hard feelings while I'm around." He winked.

George and I both laughed. Then we looked at each other and smiled slightly. "I'm willing to try if you are," I said.

George hesitated before nodded. "Ok. We'll give it a go."

Fred grinned. "Great."

I smiled at him. "Thanks for the suggestion." I turned to George. "I missed you." There were times where I really could have used his company. It would be great if we could mend our relationship.

George gave me a soft smile. "I've missed you too," he said quietly.

I was unsure if what I was about to do next was wise, but I decided to do it anyway. I stepped forward and hugged him. I smiled when he hugged me back. Peace at last.

"Aww..." Fred said. He wrapped his arms around both of us. "I love you guys."

I grinned as I pulled away. I had a feeling the summer was going to end well after all. 


	25. Back

I woke up to Snowflake meowing in my face. I groaned and opened my eyes. The kitten was sitting on my chest, staring at me expectantly. I guess I had a new alarm clock. As I sat up, I saw that my sisters were already awake. I picked up Snowflake and gently placed him on the floor.

"You better hurry," Emily said. "Mrs. Weasley is freaking out. We're going to be late."

I willingly obliged. Luckily, it never took me long to get ready. I was soon running down the stars with my suitcases in my hands and Snowflake on my shoulder. I left my luggage in a pile where one of the members of the Order was going to take care of it.

We left the house in groups in order to decrease suspicion. I walked with Ginny, Fred, George, and a member of the Order, Remus Lupin. It took us about 10 minutes to reach King's Cross. We were the last group to arrive. The luggage was already unloaded.

The Order members who had joined us began to say goodbye. "Well, look after yourselves," Lupin said, shaking hands all round.

"Yeah, keep your head down and your eyes peeled," Moody said. "And don't forget, all of you--careful what you put in writing. If in doubt, don't put it in a letter at all."

"It's been great meeting all of you," Tonks as she gave a hug to Ginny, Hermione, and me."'We'll see you soon, I expect."

A whistle sounded, causing Snowflake, who was still perched on my shoulder, to meow.

"Quick, quick," Mrs. Weasley said distractedly, hugging us at random. "Write.... Be good.... If you've forgotten anything we'll send it on.... Onto the train, now, hurry...."

I hurried onto the train with the others. I set off with Emily to find a compartment. Because we were late, most compartments were full, so Emily and I slipped into one with second year Hufflepuffs. The others were immediately excited upon seeing my kitten. I smiled as I passed him around. Snowflake seemed to like all the attention.

I zoned out for most of the trip. When we arrived, I hurried to get my luggage ready. Emily and I found a carriage, which took us to the Hogwarts castle. I kept Snowflake snuggled in my lap. I did not want to lose him in the dark night, though his white fur would be pretty easy to spot.

My sister and I parted in the Great Hall. I found a seat at the Gryffindor table with Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Neville Longbottom. I resisted the urge to look at the Slytherin table. Draco had already told me through a letter where and when I was to meet him next.

"Who's that?" Hermione said suddenly, pointing to the staff table.

I looked up to see who she was referring to. There was an unfamiliar woman sitting next to Dumbledore, whispering into his ear. She had to be the person Hermione was talking about. I did not know who she was either.

"It's that Umbridge woman!" Harry cried.

"Who?" Hermione asked.

"She was at my hearing; she works for Fudge!"

"Nice cardigan," Ron said, smirking.

"She works for Fudge!" Hermione repeated, frowning. "What on earth's she doing here, then?"

"Dunno ..."

Hermione scanned the staff table, her eyes narrowed. "No," she muttered, "no, surely not ..."

I did not have time to ask her what she meant, for the first year students had lined up at the front and Professor McGonagall had placed the Sorting Hat on top of a stool.

Out of nowhere, the Sorting Hat burst out singing. I stared in bewilderment as it sang out the histories of the different houses and the need for all to stand together or else we would fall apart from within. I could not agree more. Would anyone listen to the hat, though? I doubted the Gryffindors and Slytherins would. I clapped with everyone else when the Hat finished, though there were whispers and mutters across the Great Hall.

"Branched out a bit this year, hasn't it?" Ron said, his eyebrows raised.

"Too right it has," Harry said.

"I wonder if it's ever given warnings before?" Hermione said, sounding slightly anxious.

"Yes, indeed," said Nearly Headless Nick, the ghost of Gryffindor, knowledgeably, leaning across Neville towards her. "The Hat feels itself honor-bound to give the school due warning whenever it feels—"

The ghost was cut off by a look from Professor McGonagall. Everyone fell silent as the first years were sorted. Then it was time for the headmaster's speech. I looked at the staff table attentively, eager to hear what he had to say.

"To our newcomers," Dumbledore said in a ringing voice, his arms stretched wide and a beaming smile on his lips, "welcome! To our old hands--welcome back! There is a time for speech-making, but this is not it. Tuck in!"

I shrugged and applauded. I smiled when food appeared in front of me. I was hungry! Copying Ron, I eagerly began to pile food onto my plate.

"What were you saying before the Sorting?" Hermione asked Nearly Headless Nick. "About the Hat giving warnings?"

"Oh, yes," Nick said. "Yes, I have heard the Hat give several warnings before, always at times when it detects periods of great danger for the school. And always, of course, its advice is the same: stand together, be strong from within."

"Ow kunnit nofe skusin danger ifzat?" Ron asked through a full mouth.

"I beg your pardon?" Nick said politely.

Ron gave an enormous swallow and said, "How can it know if the school's in danger if it's a Hat?"

"I have no idea," said Nick. "Of course, it lives in Dumbledore's office, so I daresay it picks things up there."

"And it wants all the houses to be friends?" Harry said, looking over at the Slytherin table. "Fat chance."

I shot him an indignant look. "Did you listen to a word I said last year?"

Harry raised his eyebrows at me. "I suppose you're going to singlehandedly mend the houses together?"

I angrily turned back to my food, refusing to answer. I liked Harry, but sometimes he could really bug me. I got lost in my own thoughts as I finished my meal.

Dumbledore spoke again once everyone had finished eating. The woman Hermione had pointed out earlier was introduced as Dolores Umbridge, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Dumbledore had not gotten far after that when Umbridge interrupted to give a speech of her own.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Professor Umbridge said in a high-pitched voice, "for those kind words of welcome. Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say!" She smiled, revealing very pointed teeth. "And to see such happy little faces looking up at me! I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all and I'm sure we'll be very good friends!"

I exchanged a look with Hermione. Somehow, I doubted this was true. There was something off about the professor.

Professor Umbridge cleared her throat. "The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the wizarding community must be passed down the generations lest we lose them forever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching."

Professor Umbridge paused and made a little bow to her fellow staff members, though none bowed back. "Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, progress for progress's sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognized as errors of judgment. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited."

She sat down. Dumbledore clapped, and the rest of the staff followed his lead. I just blinked. What kind of speech was that? There was definitely something wrong with that woman. Once again, I was wary for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Thank you very much, Professor Umbridge, that was most illuminating," Dumbledore said, bowing to her.

"Yes, it certainly was illuminating," Hermione said in a low voice.

"You're not telling me you enjoyed it?" Ron said quietly. "That was about the dullest speech I've ever heard, and I grew up with Percy."

"I said illuminating, not enjoyable," said Hermione. "It explained a lot."

"Did it?" Harry said in surprise. "Sounded like a load of waffle to me."

"There was some important stuff hidden in the waffle," Hermione said grimly.

"There was?" I said blankly.

"How about: 'progress for progress's sake must be discouraged?' How about: 'pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited?'"

"Well, what does that mean?" Ron asked impatiently.

"I'll tell you what it means," Hermione said through gritted teeth. "It means the Ministry's interfering at Hogwarts."

I frowned. "Is that bad?"

Hermione nodded slowly. I could not ask more because everyone had been dismissed from the feast. I hurriedly stood up. There were places I had to be!

Draco had asked me to meet him in a classroom in a hall that was an equal difference from the Gryffindor and Slytherin common rooms. While I was with the group of students advancing from the Great Hall, I caught sight of him ordering around first years. He saw me and gave a slight nod of the head. It was a short distance to the designated classroom, and I had soon slipped inside.

Draco appeared a moment later. I instantly flung my arms around him. He responded by holding me close to him. I smiled and let out a sigh of happiness. It was so good to be near him again. I had missed the warmth of his body against mine.

"Welcome back," he whispered in my ear.

I pulled back and smiled at him. Then I gently pushed his head down so that I could kiss him. I was filled with familiar, wonderful feelings. I wanted to stay like that for a long time, but I knew we had to soon be on our way. I broke away and stared at him happily.

"How's Snowflake?" he asked in a quiet voice.

I grinned. "He's great!" I paused, and a look of doubt flashed across my face. "Are you sure we should be doing this? What if we get into trouble?"

"We won't," Draco said with an air of certainty. "I'm a prefect now, see?" He let go of me so that he could show me his prefect badge. "I can give some sort of excuse to let you off the hook."

"Oh, nice," I said.

Draco cupped my face with his hands and stared deeply into my eyes. "Meet me tomorrow after dinner in the Room of Requirements. We have some catching up to do."

A smile flickered on my face. "I can't wait."

Draco gave me a small smile before dropping his hands, turning, and walking out of the classroom. I followed him. He escorted me to the Gryffindor hall, and we met no trouble.

He gave me one last, long look and then turned back to walk to his own common room. My eyes lingered after him, a smile still upon my face. It was going to be a good year. 


	26. Changes

I was glad I had double Potions on Mondays; it would make them more bearable. I was not, however, looking forward to double Defense Against the Dark Arts right before dinner. My body was tense as I walked inside the classroom that first day. I wanted to sit back with the Slytherins like always, but somehow I doubted that was a good idea. I took a seat next to Hermione instead.

"Well, good afternoon!" Professor Umbridge said brightly once everyone had settled down.

A few people mumbled back a reply. I remained silent.

"Tut, tut," said Umbridge. "That won't do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afterno  
on, Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," we chanted back at her.

"There, now," said Professor Umbridge sweetly. "That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please."

While we obeyed, she took out her own wand and tapped on the board, causing words to instantly appear:

Defence Against the Dark Arts

A Return to Basic Principles

"Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it?" said Umbridge. "The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your OWL year.

"You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centered, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following, please." She tapped the board again, causing a new message to appear:

Course Aims:

1\. Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic.

2\. Learning to recognise situations in which defensive magic can legally be used

3\. Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use.

After we copied down the message, Umbridge told us to read the first chapter of our books. I warily pulled out my book and flipped to the correct page. It was quite boring, actually. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Hermione with her hand in the air her book still closed. Umbridge was blatantly ignoring her.

Eventually, almost everyone was watching Hermione. Finally, Umbridge turned to her and said, "Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?"

"Not about the chapter, no," Hermione said.

"Well, we're reading just now," Umbridge said. "If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class."

"I've got a query about your course aims," Hermione said.

Umbridge raised her eyebrows. "And your name is?"

"Hermione Granger," said Hermione.

"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully," said Umbridge.

"Well, I don't," Hermione said bluntly. "There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells."

"Using defensive spells?" Professor Umbridge repeated with a little laugh. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"

"We're not going to use magic?" Ron exclaimed loudly.

"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr.--?"

"Weasley," said Ron, thrusting his hand into the air.

Harry, Hermione, and I raised our hands as well. Umbridge settled her eyes on Hermione and said, "Yes, Miss Granger? You wanted to ask something else?"

"Yes," Hermione said. "Surely the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells?"

"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?" Umbridge asked.

"No, but—"

"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the 'whole point' of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new program of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way—"

"What use is that?" Harry said loudly. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be in a—"

"Hand, Mr. Potter!" sang Professor Umbridge.

Harry raised his hand along with several other people once again, Umbridge ignored him, instead turning to Dean. "And your name is?" she asked.

"Dean Thomas."

"Well, Mr. Thomas?"

"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it?" Dean said. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be risk free."

"I repeat," Umbridge said, "do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"

"This is not learning for learning's sake!" I exclaimed. "It's supposed to be useful!"

"Hand, please," Umbridge said in her usual sweet voice.

"The government needs to stay out of education," I retorted. "They just mess up everything."

Umbridge ignored me. She continued to go on about how horrible our previous teachers had been. I had not been at Hogwarts for long, but I could at least understand the criticism of the fake Moody. Umbridge did not seem like she would be much of an improvement, however. She did not believe there as anything dangerous waiting for us out in the real world.

"Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?" Umbridge asked.

"Hmm, let's think ..." Harry said in a mock thoughtful voice. "Maybe ... Lord Voldemort?"

I swallowed hard as I looked at Harry. The room had gone silent. Umbridge simply said, "Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter. Now, let me make a few things quite plain. You have been told that a certain dark wizard has returned from the dead—"

"He wasn't dead," Harry said angrily, "but yeah, he's returned!"

"Mr-Potter-you-have-already-lost-your-house-ten-points-do-not-make-matters-worse-for-yourself," Umbridge said in one breath without looking at him. "As I was saying, you have been informed that a certain Dark wizard is at large once again. This is a lie."

"It is NOT a lie!" Harry said. "I saw him, I fought him!"

"Detention, Mr. Potter!" Umbridge declared. "Tomorrow evening. Five o'clock. My office. I repeat, this is a lie. The Ministry of Magic guarantees that you are not in danger from any dark wizard. If you are still worried, by all means come and see me outside class hours. If someone is alarming you with fibs about reborn dark wizards, I would like to hear about it. I am here to help. I am your friend. And now, you will kindly continue your reading. Page five, 'Basics for Beginners.'"

Umbridge sat down at her desk, but Harry stood up. I stared at him fearfully. I swallowed hard as he spoke: "So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he?" His voice was shaking. I felt a mixture of sympathy and fear for him.

"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident," Umbridge said coldly.

"It was murder," said Harry. "Voldemort killed him and you know it."

"Come here, Mr. Potter, dear," Umbridge said in a sweet voice.

Harry kicked his chair aside and walked up to Umbridge's desk. I watched as Umbridge wrote and sealed a note. She handed the note to Harry, saying, "Take this to Professor McGonagall, dear."

Harry took the note, turned, and stormed through the classroom. He slammed the door on his way out. I cringed.

"Now, let's get back to the book, shall we?" Umbridge said with a broad smile.

*

At dinner, everyone was whispering about Harry's outburst against Umbridge. News sure traveled fast in the school. I ignored most of the talk, choosing to focus on my food. I left as soon as I could. I was eager to get away from the drama and be with Draco.

He was waiting for me in our usual meeting place. After the events of the day, I was relieved to see him. He had been lounging on the couch, but he stood up when I entered. "Interesting show today in Defense Against the Dark Arts, wasn't it?" he asked with a smirk.

"No," I retorted angrily. Why did he have to mention it? I was not in the mood. "The Ministry should stay out of Hogwarts. The school is doing just fine. Let the free market take care of it. The government will just get in the way."

Draco raised his eyebrows. "Is that what they teach you in America?"

I frowned. "Not really. They used to, but that's a long story."

"I see. Let's talk about something else then." He wrapped his arms around my waist.

I could not help but smile at him. "What happened after your father caught us?" I asked, placing my hands on chest.

He frowned slightly. "After showing his extreme disappointment, he kept a close watch on me. I couldn't go off on my own. I had to stay home and listen to boring meetings and attend dull parties." He grimaced.

I smiled at him sympathetically. "My parents wouldn't let me leave the house without one of them with me. I was pretty mad at them about the whole thing. We got into a fight, actually."

Draco raised his eyebrows in interest. "Really? _You_ fought with your parents?"

I smirked. "I love them, but they're not right about everything, Draco. Especially not about you." I gave him a soft smile.

Draco's own mouth flickered into a smile, causing my heart to rise. "My parents are wrong about you too."

"And what about you?" I asked. "Are they wrong about you?"

A puzzled look crossed Draco's face. "What do you mean?"

I paused as I tried to figure out how to word what I wanted to say. "Sometimes I feel like my parents are trying to make me into who they want me to be, which is their job, I guess, but sometimes I don't know if that's exactly who _I_ want to be. Sometimes I feel like they don't even know who I really am because if they did, then they would understand. I feel like there's some sort of invisible wall in between us, and I don't know how it got there. Does that make sense?"

Draco nodded his head. His eyes flashed with understanding. "I know exactly what you're talking about," he said in a low voice. "I feel it too." He brushed my hair back with his hand. "All the time. It often makes me want to run away and never look back." There was a hint of sorrow in his eyes that I rarely saw. I doubted he had ever talked to anyone about this before.

I held onto the hand that was still touching my cheek. "It's going to get worse, isn't it?"

Draco gave me a long stare before replying. "Yes," he said slowly. "There are forces at work that are a lot bigger than our families."

"Maybe I should I have stayed home in America," I said softly, my voice shaking slightly.

Draco's face hardened. "No," he said forcefully.

I was surprised at his tone. Perhaps I had underestimated how much I meant to him. I wondered what his life was really like. Almost instinctively, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him, resting my head on his chest. "Then let's run away to America. If you really meant what you said over the summer."

"Of course I did," Draco said in a much gentler tone. He held me securely against me. "For now, we'll have to make it through."

I felt him lean his head against mine. Neither of us spoke again. I had to believe we would survive whatever would stand in our way. Even Umbridge would not be able to tear us apart.

***

Somehow, I survived the first week of classes. The next Monday, I was eating breakfast with Ron, Harry, and Hermione when an owl dropped a copy of the Daily Prophet onto the table. Hermione picked it up and gasped.

"What is it?" I asked curiously. I had a feeling whatever it was, it was not going to be good.

Hermione flattened the newspaper to show us the front page. There was a large photograph of a smiling Umbridge underneath the headlines:

MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM

DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED

FIRST EVER HIGH INQUISITOR

"High Inquisitor?" Harry said. "What does that mean?"

Hermione began to read out loud:

"In a surprise move last night the Ministry of Magic passed new legislation giving itself an unprecedented level of control at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
"'The Minister has been growing uneasy about goings-on at Hogwarts for some time,' said Junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley. 'He is now responding to concerns, voiced by anxious parents, who feel the school may be moving in a direction they do not approve of.'  
"This is not the first time in recent weeks that the Minister, Cornelius Fudge, has used new laws to effect improvements at the wizarding school. As recently as 30th August, Educational Decree Number Twenty-two was passed, to ensure that, in the event of the current Headmaster being unable to provide a candidate for a teaching post, the Ministry should select an appropriate person.  
"'That's how Dolores Umbridge came to be appointed to the teaching staff at Hogwarts,' said Weasley last night. 'Dumbledore couldn't find anyone so the Minister put in Umbridge, and of course, she's been an immediate success—'"

"She's been a WHAT?" Harry exclaimed.

"Wait, there's more," Hermione said grimly.

"'--an immediate success, totally revolutionizing the teaching of Defense Against the Dark Arts and providing the Minister with on-the-ground feedback about what's really happening at Hogwarts."  
"It is this last function that the Ministry has now formalized with the passing of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three, which creates the new position of Hogwarts High Inquisitor.  
"'This is an exciting new phase in the Minister's plan to get to grips with what some are calling the falling standards at Hogwarts,' said Weasley. 'The Inquisitor will have powers to inspect her fellow educators and make sure that they are coming up to scratch. Professor Umbridge has been offered this position in addition to her own teaching post and we are delighted to say that she has accepted.'  
"The Ministry's new moves have received enthusiastic support from parents of students at Hogwarts.  
"'I feel much easier in my mind now that I know Dumbledore is being subjected to fair and objective evaluation,' said Mr. Lucius Malfoy, 41, speaking from his Wiltshire mansion last night. 'Many of us with our children's best interests at heart have been concerned about some of Dumbledore's eccentric decisions in the last few years and are glad to know that the Ministry is keeping an eye on the situation.'  
"Among those eccentric decisions are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments previously described in this newspaper, which have included the employment of werewolf Remus Lupin, half-giant Rubeus Hagrid and delusional ex-Auror, 'Mad-Eye' Moody.  
"Rumors abound, of course, that Albus Dumbledore, once Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, is no longer up to the task of managing the prestigious school of Hogwarts.  
"'I think the appointment of the Inquisitor is a first step towards ensuring that Hogwarts has a headmaster in whom we can all repose our confidence,' said a Ministry insider last night.  
"Wizengamot elders Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Ogden have resigned in protest at the introduction of the post of Inquisitor to Hogwarts.  
"'Hogwarts is a school, not an outpost of Cornelius Fudge's office,' said Madam Marchbanks. 'This is a further, disgusting attempt to discredit Albus Dumbledore.' (For a full account of Madam Marchbanks's alleged links to subversive goblin groups, turn to page seventeen.)"

After Hermione finished reading, she looked around at the three of us. "So now we know how we ended up with Umbridge! Fudge passed this 'Educational Decree' and forced her on us! And now he's given her the power to inspect the other teachers!" Hermione was breathing fast and her eyes were very bright. "I can't believe this. It's outrageous!"

"I know it is," Harry said.

"The Ministry has no business intruding upon Hogwarts."

"They're afraid," Hermione said. "They don't want to face the truth. They can't persuade everyone, so they have to suppress dissent."

"The Ministry needs a constitution to constrain it," I muttered. "That's what the magical government in America has got." Though, just like the muggle government, the restraints were slowly slipping away. Still, it was worth something. There was deep fear in the pit of my stomach. How far would the ministry go? 


	27. Resistance

Over the next several weeks, everything at Hogwarts became exceedingly worse. Umbridge was everywhere. She sat in on classes and evaluated professors. Meanwhile, we were learning absolutely nothing in Defense Against the Dark Arts. I was not the only one who was growing increasingly frustrated. Something had to change.

Hermione caught me before leaving the dorm on the morning of the first of October. "Crystal," she said, "do you agree that we need someone proper to teach us Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

"Yes!" I said fervently. "But where are we going to get one?"

A small smile flickered on Hermione's face. "I've persuaded Harry to give it a try. He's had to use defensive spells a lot in the past. He was the most experience out of all of us. He even fought of You-Know-Who last year."

I nodded slowly. It made sense. "Ok. How do we go about this?"

"We're having a meeting to discuss it at Hogsmeade this weekend. We're meeting at the Hog's Head. Do you know where that is? It's a bit off the beaten track. I thought that would be safer. We can't allow anyone to find out what we're up to."

Sneaking around. That was something I was good at. I frowned as I thought back to my trips to Hogsmeade. "I don't think I've ever been there, but I'm sure I could find it."

Hermione nodded. "Good. Bring everyone you think would be interest."

"Ok. Thanks." I slipped out of the room, my mind buzzing with excitement. Finally, resistance!

***

I ended up traveling to Hogsmeade with Emily and Ginny. It was good to not be alone. We did not have to meet Harry right away, so we stopped by Honeydukes first. I always loved that place. After that, we quickly found the pub where the meeting was to be held. It was an old, worn down place. It did not seem like many people visited it. There were already a bunch of Hogwarts students inside, however. I suspected they were there for the same reason as us.

Fred, George, and Lee arrived last. While Ron pulled up chairs around the bar, Fred walked up to the bar and talked to the barman. The barman began to pass up butterbeers from under the counter. "Cheers," Fred said, handing them out. "Cough up, everyone, I haven't got enough gold for all of these ..."

I found the right amount of coins and handed them to Fred, exchanging them for a butterbeer. I sat down in between Ginny and Emily. I took a sip of the drink, loving the warmth of the liquid running down my throat.

Once everyone had sat down, everyone quieted down and looked up at Harry. "Hi," Hermione said, causing us to look at her instead. "Well ... erm ... well, you know why you're here. Erm ... well, Harry here had the idea--I mean I had the idea--that it might be good if people who wanted to study Defense Against the Dark Arts--and I mean, really study it, you know, not the rubbish that Umbridge is doing with us because nobody could call that Defense Against the Dark Arts. Well, I thought it would be good if we, well, took matters into our own hands."

She glanced at Harry before continuing. "And by that I mean learning how to defend ourselves properly, not just in theory but doing the real spells—"

"You want to pass your Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL too, though, I bet?" a boy said.

"Of course I do," Hermione said. "But more than that, I want to be properly trained in defense because ... because ..." She took a great breath and finished, "because Lord Voldemort is back."

I sucked in a sharp breath. A few people screamed. Everyone was now staring at Harry intently.

"Well ... that's the plan, anyway," Hermione said. "If you want to join us, we need to decide how we're going to—"

She was interrupted by people exclaiming that they did not believe Voldemort was back. I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Why did they need proof? Could they not just take Harry's word for it? Their attention was diverted when others began to explain all the defensive magic Harry had performed out in the real world.

Hermione tried to get the discussion back on topic. 'Yes, well,' she said hastily, 'the point is, are we agreed we want to take lessons from Harry?'

There was a murmur of agreement.

"Right," Hermione said. "Well, then, the next question is how often we do it. I really don't think there's any point in meeting less than once a week—"

"Hang on," said Angelina, "we need to make sure this doesn't clash with our Quidditch practice." Other spoke their agreement.

"I'm sure we can find a night that suits everyone," said Hermione, slightly impatiently, "but you know, this is rather important, we're talking about learning to defend ourselves against V-Voldemort's Death Eaters—"

I shifted a bit when she said this.

"Well said!" barked a boy. "Personally, I think this is really important, possibly more important than anything else we'll do this year, even with our OWLs coming up!"

He looked around before going on, "I, personally, am at a loss to see why the Ministry has foisted such a useless teacher on us at this critical period. Obviously, they are in denial about the return of You-Know-Who, but to give us a teacher who is trying to actively prevent us from using defensive spells—"

"We think the reason Umbridge doesn't want us trained in Defense Against the Dark Arts," said Hermione, "is that she's got some ... some mad idea that Dumbledore could use the students in the school as a kind of private army. She thinks he'd mobilize us against the Ministry."

There was a stunned silence. Was she mad? Dumbledore would never mobilize an army! He wanted no part of the Ministry. Government could be so daft.

After an interlude by Luna, Ginny got us back on topic again, saying, "Weren't we trying to decide how often we're going to meet and have defense lessons?"

"Yes," Hermione said, "yes, we were, you're right, Ginny."

"Well, once a week sounds cool," Lee said.

The next thing we had to figure out was where to meet. I bit my lip, wondering if I should speak. I knew the perfect place, but... It was where Draco and I met. What if the group found out about him or he found out about the group? Neither was an attractive option. I decided to remain silent. If someone else knew about the room, they could speak up. I was not going to be the one to give away my secret.

"Right, well, we'll try to find somewhere," Hermione said. "We'll send a message round to everybody when we've got a time and a place for the first meeting." She took out a piece or parchment and had everyone right down their names.

After that, I left with Ginny and Emily. "This is going to be so exciting," Emily babbled as we walked through the village.

"You better keep quiet about it," I hissed.

Emily rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about me. I'm not dumb."

Ginny laughed.

***

On Monday, I found a group of students cluttered around the Gryffindor notice board. A large sign had been fixed to it. It read:

BY ORDER OF THE HIGH INQUISITOR OF HOGWARTS

All student organisations, societies, teams, groups and clubs are  
henceforth disbanded.

An organisation, society, team, group or club is hereby defined  
as a regular meeting of three or more students.

Permission to re-form may be sought from the High Inquisitor  
(Professor Umbridge).

No student organisation, society, team, group or club may exist  
without the knowledge and approval of the High Inquisitor.

Any student found to have formed, or to belong to, an organisation,  
society, team, group or club that has not been approved by  
the High Inquisitor will be expelled.

The above is in accordance with Educational Decree  
Number Twenty-four.

Signed: Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor

I had a sinking feeling I knew what this was about. But... how could she know? Perhaps she was just being paranoid. One thing was for sure; this was a clear attempt to violate our rights by preventing us from congregating and forming an assembling. I had read about it happening in muggle governments, including the one in my own country. No matter what the motivation, it was a clear act of tyranny, and I would not tolerate it. This called for a rebellion!

These thoughts were still swimming in my mind as I met Draco after dinner that day. He had a smirk on his face, and he seemed pleased about something. I was reluctant to ask him what this was about. Before I had a chance to say anything, however, he strode towards me and said in a cocky voice, "Professor Umbridge is really improving everything around here, isn't she?"

I raised my eyebrows. "If you call government intrusion into our personal lives improvement..."

"Are you talking about that last order?" He frowned. "Potter must be up to no good. Umbridge is trying to stop it before it starts."

I sighed. "Can we please talk about something else?"

Draco shrugged. "Of course. We can study now, if you prefer."

I gratefully agreed. Still, as we sat down and got out our books, I could not help the uneasiness that was growing inside of me. The tension that had been there the previous year was beginning to multiply. Draco did not even seem to notice it was there. I was the one who was always changing the subject, trying to get us to talk about things that did not really matter that much.

I knew ignoring the problem would not make it go away, but I was afraid. I was afraid that there was a line being drawn... and when it was finished, Draco and I would be standing on opposite sides. I wanted to grab him and pull him over to my side, but I was afraid that talking to him about the real issues would just push him further away from me.

We were getting by now, but I knew this could not last. There was too much pressure coming from all different sides. Something was bound to give.

***

Someone must have told Harry about the Room of Requirement, for that is where our group met on Wednesday. I entered with Emily, Ginny, Neville, Lavender, Parvati and Dean. The room was set up perfectly for practicing magic. I let a small smile settle on my face as I pushed my worries away. This was going to be fantastic.

Once everyone was there, the meeting began. Hermione suggested we elect a leader. Of course, we all chose Harry.

"I also think we ought to have a name," Hermione said brightly. "It would promote a feeling of team spirit and unity, don't you think?"

"Can we be the Anti-Umbridge League?" Angelina asked hopefully.

"Or the Ministry of Magic are Morons Group?" suggested Fred. I laughed at this and he grinned at me.

"I was thinking," Hermione said, frowning at Fred, "more of a name that didn't tell everyone what we were up to, so we can refer to it safely outside meetings."

"The Defense Association?" Cho said. "The DA for short, so nobody knows what we're talking about?"

"Yeah, the DA's good," Ginny said. "Only let's make it stand for Dumbledore's Army, because that's the Ministry's worst fear, isn't it?"

We all agreed to this. I was feeling light and happy. It was great to be joining together against a common enemy. I had always loved the idea of resistance and rebellion. Actually participating in one made me feel alive.

"Right," Harry said, "shall we get practicing then? I was thinking, the first thing we should do is Expelliarmus, you know, the Disarming Charm. I know it's pretty basic but I've found it really useful-"

"Oh, please," said Zacharias Smith, rolling his eyes and folding his arms. "I don't think Expelliarmus is exactly going to help us against You-Know-Who, do you?"

"I've used it against him," Harry said quietly. "It saved my life in June." Smith opened his mouth but did not say anything. "But if you think it's beneath you, you can leave." Smith did not move. "OK, I reckon we should all divide into pairs and practice."

I turned to Emily. "Do you want to be my partner?"

"Sure," Emily said, "but later you have to tell me how things are going with You-Know-Who."

I gave her a puzzled look. "I don't have any new information on Voldemort."

Emily rolled her eyes. "That is not who I meant."

I grinned. Of course I knew who she had meant. We stepped away from each other, took out our wands, and raised them. Let the rebellion begin! 


	28. Sworn to Protect

The first Gryffindor Quidditch match was, of course, against Slytherin. It was the first Saturday in November, and the air was growing chilly. My Gryffindor scarf was wrapped around my neck as I walked to the stands with Hermione and Ginny. Harry was Gryffindor's seeker, Fred and George were beaters, and Ron was the keeper. Draco, meanwhile, was Slytherin's seeker and Vincent and Gregory were beaters. This was bound to be an interesting match.

As the Slytherin team made their way out onto the pitch, I could hear the Slytherins in the stands begin to sing. I listened hard to try to make out the words:

"Weasley cannot save a thing,  
He cannot block a single ring,  
That's why Slytherins all sing:  
Weasley is our King.

"Weasley was born in a bin  
He always lets the Quaffle in  
Weasley will make sure we win  
Weasley is our King."

"Unbelievable," Ginny said, shaking her head.

"The nerve of them!" Hermione huffed.

My eyes narrowed. They were not making this easy. "Just ignore them," I muttered.

The Slytherins continued to sing throughout the game, especially whenever Ron messed up. I clenched my teeth together to prevent myself from reacting. The exciting part game when both Harry and Draco zoomed after the snitch. Harry ended up catching it. I allowed myself to clap and cheer with the rest of the Gryffindors.

"Hopefully everyone will forget about Ron now that we've won," Ginny whispered to me.

I nodded, but I was not so sure. This was bound to be a huge blow on Ron's self-esteem. I made a mental note to try to talk to him later and cheer him up. I watched him sadly as he walked back to the changing rooms alone.

My body froze when I saw Draco yelling something at the Gryffindor team. He seemed to have riled up Fred and George. I swallowed hard. This did not look good. Almost unconsciously, I made my way to the field.

"Where are you going?" Ginny asked.

I ignored her. Something bad was about to happen; I could just feel it. My feet landed on the field right when I saw Harry and George running towards Draco. Harry had his arm raised, his hand clutching the snitch. George was swearing as he sprinted forward, and Harry looked like was ready to kill. Draco gave a cry of alarm.

"Harry! HARRY! GEORGE! NO!" I cried at the top of my lungs. I did not have time to think. I did the only thing I could do. I leapt in front of Draco, not caring that almost the whole of both our houses was watching, and not caring that I was now in the way of my friends; my only instinct was to protect. My back was to Harry and George. I clung onto Draco's Quidditch robes with my hands and shut my eyes as I waited for the impact.

Something hard struck my back, followed by what felt like two fists slamming into me. I cried out in pain. I almost fell forward, but Draco held me steady, his body tense.

"Impedimenta!" someone yelled.

"Crystal!" I heard George say in surprise as the pressure was lifted from my back.

"What?" Harry said in confusion.

"Weasley! Potter!" Draco growled. "You'll pay for that!" His arms had found their way around me, and he was holding onto me tightly. I did not know if he had even realized what he was doing. I was probably not helping matters by burying my head in his chest. There was a searing pain in my back, but I dared not look to inspect the damage.

"What do you think you're doing?" Madam Hooch screamed. "I've never seen behavior like it--back up to the castle, both of you, and straight to your Head of House's office! Go! Now."

The crowd had gone silent. I slowly turned my head away from Draco so that I could inspect the scene with my eyes. Harry and George were staring at me in utter shock. I glanced at Draco's face; he was giving both the attackers a deadly glare. He only relaxed when. George and Harry turned and marched off the pitch.

"Crystal!" Fred cried in alarm. Angelina, who had been holding him back, finally let go of him, and he took several steps in our direction. He stopped when Draco growled at him, wrapping his arms around me more securely.

"He's not going to hurt me," I muttered. At least... I did not _think_ he would.

Fred stared at me incredulously. "Who's side are you on?"

I cringed at the words. There is was again. Sides... We were supposed to be growing stronger together, not tearing each other apart.

"Miss Crystal," Madam Hooch said, "you need to see Madam Pomfrey."

"I'll take her," Draco said immediately.

"No," a cool voice said.

I turned my head to see Snape striding towards us. His dark eyes were on Draco and me, and I swore I saw something unusual in there that I could not place. _He's probably never seen a Gryffindor defend a Slytherin, _I reasoned. _Not to mention Draco's reaction..._

"She is merely bruised," Snape said. "There is not much Madam Pomfrey will be able to do for her. I, however, have a potion that should ease the pain."

Madam Hooch nodded. "Alright. Off you go then."

Snape turned and began to head off the pitch. "Come. Both of you."

Once Draco loosened, his arms, I let go of him and pulled away. I was slowly beginning to realize what I had done. I looked around the field. Both the Gryffindor and Slytherin teams were staring at me in utter shock. The audience in the stands seemed just as mystified. I was glad they could not see the look of horror on my face. They knew... They had to. I had given away my deepest secret.

Draco seemed to be taking the situation much better than I was. He merely glared at the crowd before putting his arm around my shoulder, being carefully not to touch the places I had been hit. I gratefully leaned into him. I was not sure if he had given up on hiding the truth and did not care what everyone thought anymore or if he was just better at improvising than me.

No one spoke until we had reached Snape's office. "Take a seat, Miss Hansen," Snape said, motioning with his arm to the chair facing his desk a few feet away.

Draco removed his arm and I sat down. He put a hand on the back of the chair and stood beside me. He looked almost like he was guarding me. I gave him a reassuring smile before looking back at Snape.

The potions master was rummaging through his drawers and cupboards. Finally, he pulled out a small vile and turned to face me. "Drink this." He held out the vile to me.

"Thanks," I said weakly as I took the flask and drank it. I shivered because it tasted bitter, but instantly, soothing warmth began to fill my back. I smiled in pleasure. "That feels good." Remembering something, I looked up at Draco. "Did they get you?"

"No," Draco said.

"Good," I said, smiling in satisfaction. I had accomplished my goal. My smile faded when the possible repercussions of my actions began to fill my mind. A groan escaped my lips. "I can't go back to my common room. The Gryffindors are going to kill me." If they thought I had been a traitor before...

"Which is odd because that was one of the most Gryffindor-like acts I have ever seen," Snape said.

I looked at him in surprise. I studied his face, but, as usual, I could decipher nothing. If he had any emotions, he was excellent at hiding them. "Do you think I could explain it all by my intense desire to see inter-house unity?" I smiled weakly.

Snape glanced at Draco before looking back at me. "Perhaps... Though, Mr. Malfoy's actions are hardly excusable. The usual Slytherin response to being protected by a Gryffindor is to reject it, not to protect in return."

"Well, too bad," Draco said in a light growl. He looked down at me. "You started it."

"I wasn't going to stand around and do nothing!" I exclaimed. "I would not have been able to bear it if – if-"

"I know," Draco said softly, looking at me with gentle eyes. "I would have done the same for you."

I smiled at him, feeling great warmth and affection for him. Snape cleared his throat, causing both of us to look at him.

"You are fine now, Miss Hansen," he said. "You may go."

I nodded. "Thanks again."

"It's my job."

Despite his words, I still swore he was looking at me differently. I was probably just imagining it. I stood up and left with Draco. Uneasiness began to fill my stomach again as we walked down the dungeon hall. What were we going to do now?

"I have to go back to the Quidditch pitch and change my clothes," Draco said.

"Ok," I said, "but I'm not leaving you."

Draco glanced at me but did not object. He walked close to me as we headed to the Entrance Hall. Soon, we arrived at the Quidditch changing rooms. Draco looked at me once before walking into the Slytherin room.

I felt nervous as I waited. I did not want to run into anyone. I let out a breath of relief when Draco emerged from the room, now dressed in regular clothes. "Come to lunch with me," I said. I dreaded seeing my fellow students, and he seemed much more confident than I was at the moment.

Draco nodded. "Of course. Let's-"

"You!" a familiar voice exclaimed. Causing me to instantly freeze. George and Harry, still in their red Quidditch robes, were sauntering towards the changing rooms. Harry seemed surprised to see us; George was glaring at Draco.

"Out of the way, Weasley," Draco growled, putting a protective arm around me.

Harry was staring at me with his mouth partly open. "Crystal," he said in a shocked voice. "I don't – I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean- You-"

Draco glared at him. "You better be sorry, Potter."

"Crystal," George said, his face showing a mixture of confusion and hurt. "I'm sorry too, but I don't understand."

I bit my lip and glanced down, feeling my body grow hot and my throat tighten. I did not want to face either of them. What was I suppose to say?

"Just get out of our way," Draco said again. "And, both of you, leave my girl alone."

I looked up again. The boys' faces flashed with understanding. I swallowed. They got it. Harry seemed horrified; George appeared crushed.

"Crystal," George whispered, "is this – You-"

I felt a rush of sympathy towards him. I had just patched things up with him, and now it was all blowing up on my face. "I'm sorry," I said softly.

"No," George said, shaking his head. "No. You can't-" He turned to his companion and tugged on his sleeve. "Harry..." He turned and fled into the Gryffindor changing room.

Harry stared at me dumbly before following.

"Forget about them," Draco whispered into my ear.

I nodded numbly, and we resumed walking. Fortunately, everyone must have already been in the Great Hall, for we did not run into anyone. Before entering however, Draco pulled me off to the side.

"Not yet," he said in a low voice. He pushed me up against the wall and crashed his lips against mine. Happiness instantly flooded my body, and my worries seemed to melt away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back fervently. It felt so good to be doing this out in the open, though, no doubt, Umbridge would have broken us up if she had caught us, like I had seen her do to more than one unfortunate couple.

When Draco broke away, he was breathing hard, and his eyes were blazing. "Thank you," he said, his face still close to mine. "No one has ever done something like that for me before."

I brought my hands up to his face and gazed at him with fondness and adoration. "I will always do whatever I can to protect you, Draco. I'm always here for you."

"And I will try my best to be there for you," Draco said, bringing his own hand to rest on my cheek. "I won't let anything happen to you."

I had to smile as I continued to stare into his eyes. It felt like an unbreakable bond had been forged between us. A bond stronger than house lines or anything else that threatened to separate us. We had our own pact now, and it would win out in the end. 


	29. Consequences

Draco kept his arm around me as we walked in the Great Hall together. All eyes from the Gryffindor and Slytherin tables, and several from the other two, were on us. I bit my lip, feeling uncomfortable. There was no way we could sit at the Gryffindor table, and I was not letting go of Draco now. I thought about my sister at the Hufflepuff table but soon decided against it.

"Let me take care of this," Draco whispered. He led me over to the Slytherin table. He smiled broadly at his friends upon our arrival. "Hello, mates. Mind if we sit here?"

"Of course not," Vincent said readily.

I smiled slightly and sat across from him while Draco sat next to me, across from Gregory.

When some of the Slytherins gave me leery looks, Vincent said, "Don't worry about her, guys. Crystal is cool."

Gregory nodded. "We've hung out with her many times."

"Well, if Draco thinks she's alright..." a Slytherin fifth year, who I think was named Blaise, said hesitantly.

"Are you all doubting my judgment?" Draco asked with raised eyebrows. I admired how cool he was being about all of this, like it was no big deal. Would it work?

"And did you see the way she humiliated Potter and Weasley?" another Slytherin boy said with a grin.

"I've never seen a Gryffindor get in the way of their won house," a girl agreed.

"You should have been in Slytherin," a boy added.

I smiled and shrugged. "That was a possibility. I'm from a different country. I guess I just think differently."

Draco slipped his arm around my shoulders again and looked around at the table members. "We're all agreed? We can accept her?"

From further down the table, I noticed Pansy glaring at me, but other than her, the Slytherins heartily agreed. I felt a great sense of relief. The whole school did not hate me. Draco had not been worried about much after all.

"The Gryffindors aren't too happy about this," a girl said with a grin, craning her neck to get a look at the table.

I gave her a weak smile. If I got in with the Slytherins, would that just drive me further away from the Gryffindors? Maybe I should have been put in Slytherin after all. I did not want to feel like an outsider in my own house.

After lunch, the Slytherins invited me back to their common room. I had never been into another house's common room before, not even Emily's. I found it to be acceptable. I was gratefully to not have to face the Gryffindors just yet. In fact, I spent the whole rest of the day with the Slytherins. Most of them were a bit rough around the edges, but I was willing to give them a chance.

Since he was a prefect, Draco walked me back to Gryffindor tower late that night. We stood facing each other outside the door. I was reluctant to part from him.

"Good luck," Draco said softly, cupping my face and kissing my forehead. "Let me know if they're too hard on you."

I gave him a small smile. "Good night, Draco."

"Good night, Crystal." His hand grazed mine one last time before he turned and left.

I waited until he was out of sight before turning and speaking the password to the portrait in front of the door. I hoped it was too late for anyone to be up, but I was wrong. Of course, it was a Saturday night. What had I been thinking?

Once again, all eyes were on me. My heart sank when I saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting on the couch. They seemed surprised at first, but then Ron glared at me. "What are you doing here?" he asked angrily, leaping up from the couch.

"She lives here, Ron," Hermione said with a roll of her eyes.

I cast her a grateful mile. Then I held up my hands and said, "Look, I can explain."

Ron crossed his arms, continuing to glare at me. "This ought to be good."

I looked around at the Gryffindors in the room, many of who were casting me hostile looks. "Guys, you know that ever since I've been here, I've wanted Slytherin and Gryffindor to get along."

"Malfoy started it," Harry retorted. "You didn't hear what he was saying. Even you would have been horrified."

I frowned. "Maybe so, but violence is not the answer."

"It sure would have made me feel better."

I swung around to see Fred and George leaning against the wall with their arms crossed, Fred being the one who had spoken. I swallowed. "It would not have solved anything."

"You need to wake up," Ron said. "Malfoy is a prat. You don't know him like we do."

I found this statement so ridiculous that I involuntarily laughed out loud, causing me to receive odd looks. "Oh, that's a good one, Ron. I know him better than anyone else at this school, especially _you_. You only see what he wants you to see. You can't see beyond the surface. There's a side to him he's shown me that none of you would believe if I told you." My eyes had narrowed at him. "Don't tell me I don't know him."

Ron had his mouth open. Harry did not seem to know what to say either.

"He's using you," George said, his tone and eyes dark. I had never seen him like this.

The anger left me as I gazed at him. "No, he's not," I said softly, shaking my head. "I don't know what to say to make you believe me."

George's eyes tightened. "You know better than this, Crystal. Do I even know you anymore? What can you possibly see in him?"

I let out a long sigh. I knew I had let him down, but I did not know how to make it better. I could not please everyone. Maybe I was not supposed to. "We have a connection, George. I one that I have never had with anyone else. I lo-" I stopped when I noticed the disgusted look he was giving me. I winced.

Fred shook his head. "I'm disappointed in you, Crystal. Why don't you just go join Slytherin?"

My heart sunk as I watched the twins stalk off to their dorm room. Looking around at everyone else, I could tell they felt similarly. A sudden flash of anger hit me. "How come Slytherin is taking this a whole lot better than Gryffindor?" I could not take it anymore. I turned and stormed off to my own room.

There were already a couple of girls in bed, but they were sleeping. I had just gotten ready for the night when I heard someone enter. It was Hermione. She gave me a slight smile as she walked over to her bed. I had noted that she had been unusually quiet during the confrontation in the common room.

"Aren't you going to yell at me too?" I asked in a quiet voice.

"I think the others did enough of that," Hermione said simply. She paused. "Besides, I'm not that surprised, actually."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

Hermione shrugged. "I saw you with Malfoy a couple of times, and you always seemed to get along. He treats you differently, even compared to his own friends. I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you."

"I understand him," I said. "And I don't judge him. I stand by him no matter what. He appreciates it. I don't think anyone's ever given him that before."

"Interesting," Hermione murmured.

"So, you don't hate me?" I asked hopefully.

"I don't think any of them hate you. They're just angry, hurt and confused. Malfoy has caused us a lot of trouble in the past."

"So I've heard."

"I don't know what to think, honestly. Obviously, attacking Malfoy was wrong..."

"Thank you, Hermione," I said, giving her a grateful smile. "I'm going to need an ally around here."

Hermione nodded. "Of course. If we can't stand untied even within our own house, what hope is there of us defeating Voldemort?"

I could not agree more.

***

Draco and I could study openly now, so on Sunday, we found ourselves sitting across from each other at the library. We had not gotten far into our work when Emily waltzed in and sat next to me, a goofy grin on her face. Draco stared at her oddly.

"Can I help you?" I asked warily.

"I heard about the Quidditch match yesterday," she said. "I think it's great what you did for Draco. I wish I could have been there. It's _so_ romantic."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah? Well, tell that to everyone in my house?"

"Can we get back to work?" Draco asked, seeming annoyed.

Just then, Ginny entered the library. "Hey, guys," she said, plopping down across from Emily.

Draco groaned. "Who invited Weasley?"

I frowned. "Be nice to her. She's one of the only Gryffindors who's not mad at me." I paused, realizing I did not know this for a fact. I looked at her, unsure. "You aren't, are you?"

"Of course not!" Ginny declared. "But can you blame George for being mad?"

"No," I said sadly. "But what's Ron's problem?"

Ginny glanced at Draco before looking back at me. "I'll talk to him. He can get very... passionate."

Draco snorted. "That's an understatement. He – Ow!"

I had kicked him in the leg from under the table. "Be nice."

Draco muttered something before looking back down at his book.

Ginny blinked at me. "He listens to you?"

I smirked at Draco. "Sometimes."

"Well, I gotta go," Emily said, standing up. "I just wanted to tell you my feelings about the whole thing."

"Me too." Ginny stood up as well. "Don't take everything personally. I'm sure they'll all come around eventually."

I gave her a weak smile as she left with Emily. Then I looked back at Draco, who was staring at me expectantly. I shrugged. "It's good to have allies."

***

My first class on Monday was History of Magic with Ravenclaw. The Gryffindors were still acting very unfriendly towards me, so I found a seat in the back next to a Ravenclaw girl, who ignored me the whole class.

I was glad when I had Potions before lunch. I noticed Snape's eyes lingered on me as I took a table with Draco right behind Snape's desk, far away from the Gryffindors. The tension in the air was obvious, but I was able to ignore it because I loved being so close to Draco out in the open. He was pretty good at Potions as well. Professor Snape praised both of our work at the end of class, causing me to receive even more glares from my housemates.

"Miss Hansen, I hope you are feeling alright," Snape said coolly as everyone got up to leave.

"I'm fine except for the fact that I'm being ostracized from my own house," I said bitterly as I slung my bag over my shoulder.

"You're the one who wanted to tell everyone," Draco said as we walked out together.

I sighed. "I know. It's their problem." But that did not make it hurt any less.

I was nearly dreading the DA meeting on Wednesday I was able to make up an excuse to leave Draco, but I was nervous about encountering so many Gryffindors in such an enclosed space. Would they even let me in?

It was a good thing I knew how to open the Room of Requirement. It appeared that I was the last person to arrive. Everyone stared at me when I entered. This was getting to become quite annoying.

"What's she doing here?" a Gryffindor fourth year boy retorted.

Fred sniggered. "Wouldn't you be happier joining Umbridge?"

I rolled my eyes. "You know I hate Umbridge and the Ministry as much as you do, Fred."

"Just not Malfoy," Ron said, crossing his arms and glaring at me.

"You do seem to be fitting in better with Slytherin lately," Harry commented.

Alright, that was it! _These _people were the ones who needed a wake-up call. "You're right, but I was not sorted into Slytherin. Why do you think that is?" Harry looked down. I glanced across the room, but no one spoke. "It's because I _am_ a Gryffindor. Gryffindors are courageous, daring, and full of determination. Does it not take courage to risk your own safety to protect someone else? Daring, too, isn't it? And it takes courage to stand up for what you believe in and those you care about, even if it means standing against your friends.

"Don't you guys get it? I don't care about house boundaries. I will stand by my beliefs no matter what. And I will apply them _consistently_. I did not mean to 'betray' Gryffindor. I was following my heart. I'm not asking you to agree with me; I'm just asking you to accept me as I am. I _am_ a Gryffindor. I believe it is noble to stand by the truth, no matter where it leads you. I will always do what I think is right. If that does not mean I belong in Gryffindor, then I don't know what does." I shrugged and looked away. "That's all I've got to say."

A murmur broke out through the group.

After a minute of silence, Harry cleared his throat and said, "Alright, that settles that question. Now, let's start practicing."

I cast him a grateful smile, and he gave me a small smile in return. At last, peace. 


	30. Days Go By

Everything gradually began to get better after that DA meeting. It helped that I had Harry's support; it seemed like he still felt bad about hurting me. The others slowly began to accept be back, and I was able to occasionally eat at the Gryffindor table and sit with my old friends during classes. Eventually, I was spending about half of my time with Gryffindors and half with Slytherins. I could tell neither side was happy about this.

"I would be careful around Potter and his gang if I were you," Draco said as we were lounging in the Slytherin common room the first Saturday in December.

"They're my friends, Draco," I said, leaning my head against his shoulder. "Well, Ron's still mad at me." That boy had a thick head. Fred and George were not much better. They were avoiding me at all costs; at least Ron tolerated me while I was with Hermione and Harry.

"I know they're up to something," Draco said. "They're plotting against the Ministry. If you're a part of it, you should back out. It is not a good idea to make enemies with the Ministry of Magic."

"But rebelling against oppressive governments is what Americans do best," I said with a small smirk. Of course, recently, Americans had grown a bit lax...

Draco pulled his arm away a little bit, causing me to look up at his face. "I'm serious, Crystal. The Ministry just wants what's best for this school."

"Yeah, well, they're going about it in a lousy way," I muttered.

"I don't know what 'oppression' you're talking about. My father works for the Ministry."

I raised my eyebrows at him. Seriously? _That_ was supposed to convince me? "Yeah... Your father and I don't exactly get along too well."

"Exactly. If he found out you were involved in whatever Potter has going on..." He shook his head. "You don't want to mess with him. You don't have to love Umbridge and the Ministry; just don't fight them."

I looked away. I could not be mad at him because I could tell he was genuinely concerned. I took his hand in both of mine and kissed it. "Thanks for the warning. I promise I'll be careful."

Draco nodded. "Good." He cupped my face with his hands and stared into my eyes. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

I could not help but smile at him. I touched his left hand with my right one. "Nothing will." I leaned forward and kissed him. I ignored the whistles and cheers from the Slytherins in the room; I had gotten used to their antics by then. After pull back, I said, "Do you want to go outside? I think it might be snowing. There's already quite a bit on the ground."

Draco smiled at me. He did not truly smile often, but when he did, it was always enough to make my heart melt. "You should fetch Snowflake and see what he thinks."

I brightened at the idea. "Ok! I'll meet you by the lake."

Draco chuckled as I stood up. I gave him one last time before turning and walking out. I loved how at ease he seemed now. He appeared to be much happier than he had been in the past. Just that alone made all the troubles that resulted from the whole school knowing about us worth it.

  
***

The next weekend, I traveled to Hogsmeade with Draco and a group of Slytherins. Draco and I still did not think it was wise to go alone because someone in the village could recognize us and rat us out to our parents. Still, it was a nice trip, and I got to know some of the other Slytherins a bit more.

The last DA meeting of the term was the Wednesday before Christmas break. While Ginny and I walked to the Room of Requirement together, she told me she had been made Gryffindor seeker because Harry had been banned after attempting to attack Draco. I was happy for her. This would be a good chance for her to see what she could do.

The room appeared to be decorated for Christmas. It did not look too bad. I frowned when I saw George give me a reproachful look from where he was standing next to Fred. I held in a sigh. I glanced at Ginny when she put a hand on my arm.

"Give him time," she said sympathetically.

I smiled weakly and looked away. Somehow, I doubted that, as long as Draco and I were dating, George would ever want to be my friend again.

We ended up practicing everything we had learned up until that point. While Ginny went off to practice with Michael Corner, her boyfriend and a Ravenclaw in my year, I found my sister. I ignored her cheeky questions about Draco and me as we got to work.

"You're getting really good," Harry said at the end of the meeting. "When we get back from the holidays, we can start doing some of the big stuff – maybe even Patronuses."

I smiled. I loved Patronuses. It was interesting to see what animal represented someone. I was looking forward to discovering this bit of information about my friends. I said goodbye to Emily and left the room with Ginny.

***

The next day, I found out from Ginny that her father had been rushed to St. Mungo's Hospital the previous night because he had been bitten by a giant snake within the Ministry of Magic. I was horrified at the news. Harry and the Weasleys were sent back to the Order of the Phoenix Headquarters. I was sad to see them go, but I would be joining them along with Emily and Hermione the next day.

By this time, Snowflake had grown quite a bit. He had almost reached maturity. Still, he was able to snuggly wrap himself around my shoulder as I walked to the Hogwarts Express with Hermione on Friday. Hermione's own cat, Crookshanks, passed beside us.

The first person I saw upon entering the train was Draco. I had almost forgotten that we could now openly sit together. "Crystal," he said gruffly, casting a distrustful look at Hermione, "where do you think you're going?"

I looked from Draco to Hermione and frowned. I was not sure what to do. Having those two sit in the same compartment was at the top of the list of very bad ideas.

"I'll go find somewhere else to sit," Hermione said in an almost regretful tone.

I opened my mouth to say something, but she had already left, Crookshanks stalking after her. Then, suddenly, Snowflake leapt from my shoulder onto Draco.

He laughed as he caught the kitten. "Hello, Snowflake," he said warmly as the white cat snuggled into his arms. He looked up at me and smiled. "Come on. We better get out of the way."

Vincent and Gregory were already in our compartment. The four of us chatted for awhile. Snowflake took turns sitting in all of our laps. He was a hit with everyone. I was reluctant to leave when the train arrived at King's Cross. The Christmas break was too long for my liking.

"Come on, Crystal," Draco said, pulling me up with him, "you need to be with your family."

I gave him a small smile. "I know."

"Wait. I want to give you this now." He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to me. "Happy Christmas."

It was a necklace. I held the chain and looked at the pendant. It was the Slytherin snake mounted on what looked like a shield. Flipping it over, I saw that the Gryffindor lion was on the other side. I let out a small gasp. "It's beautiful." I looked at Draco in amazement. I could not believe he would give me something that so closely resembled unity between our houses.

Draco smirked. He took my hands in his and kissed my forehead. "I thought you would like it." He took the necklace form me and placed it around my neck, the Gryffindor side facing out. "Don't want your parents to get suspicious.

"Thanks you," I said, flinging my arms around him. "Merry Christmas, Draco." As I hugged him tightly, I wondered why no one could understand what I felt for him. It was like we were supposed to be together. After pulling away, I gave him one last kiss before scooping up Snowflake and exiting the train.

Mrs. Weasley was waiting for Hermione, Emily, and me. She gave us all a hug and then led us back to Headquarters. Once we arrived, Emily and I went to unpack while Hermione left to find Harry. After settling in, I felt the Slytherin side of my pendant with my fingers. I small smile appeared on my face, and a warm feeling flooded through me.

***

Christmas was pretty nice. After lunch, I accompanied Harry, Hermione, and the Weasleys to St. Mungo's to visit Mr. Weasley. I was still wondering about the attack, but no one cared to enlighten me. Anyway, Mr. Weasley was doing well, which was good to see.

The rest of the break was actually quite enjoyable. It was good to be with my friends and family. Fred, George, and Ron even had to act civil to me because Ginny had convinced them not to let anything slip about my relationship with Draco. And, of course, it was great to not have any school work to deal with. Still, I was happy when the time came to return to Hogwarts.

The last day of the holidays, Mr. Weasley returned to the house, fully cured, which was great news. The next day, we traveled to Hogwarts via the Knight Bus, which was an extra precaution because of everything that had been happening lately. We arrived just in time for dinner. We all sat together at the Gryffindor table out of convenience.

The next day, I switched my necklace to the Slytherin side, which caused a whole new round of dirty looks from various Gryffindors. I had ceased, to care, though. Draco smiled at me during breakfast as we ate together. I smiled in return when I noticed he was wearing the eagle necklace I had gotten him for his birthday.

Potions was great as always. Snape paused at Draco and my desk a few more seconds than usual, his eyes lingering on my necklace. When he had left, Draco and I smirked at each other. "How are you dealing in Gryffindor?" he whispered to me.

I shrugged. "I'm surviving. I think everyone had realized they have to deal with me, whether they like it or not."

Draco chuckled. "That's gotta annoy them. Maybe we should hang out in your common room sometime." He winked.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I don't think they're ready for _that_ yet."

Draco just smirked and got back to work on his potion. I laughed and did the same.

***

The next several weeks flew by quickly. The Tuesday after Christmas break, the Daily Prophet reported that there had been a mass breakout from Azkaban. All of the prisoners had been convicted as Death Eaters. The news sent a shiver throughout my spine.

I wondered what Draco thought about this but feared asking him. Neither he nor any of the other Slytherins brought it up. Many of them, including Draco, did seem oddly happy after the news broke out. The old tension I thought had gone away since we had been found out was returning, and I was still fearful about bringing it up. Maybe I was being a coward, but I wanted to stay far away from the darkness that was fast approaching.

Meanwhile, the Ministry of Magic was imposing even more restraints on Hogwarts. The newest decree banned teachers from giving students any information not related directly to their specific class. The ridiculousness of it all was outrageous. The DA meetings were the only things stopping me from going on a rampage against Umbridge, which would not have done much for my reputation in Slytherin.

Valentine's Day that year also happened to be a trip to Hogsmeade. Draco and I were able to break off from our group to sneak off to the Shrieking Shack once again. The risk gave me a thrill I had not expected. Perhaps Emily was right about forbidden love being romantic after all.

The following week was the Gryffindor Quidditch game against Hufflepuff. I wanted to attend with Emily, but she muttered something about sports being stupid, so I went with Harry and Hermione. Even though Ginny ended up catching the snitch, Hufflepuff won. The game was rather depressing. I did not want to be around disappointed Gryffindors, so I headed to the dungeons to attempt to find Draco.

I found him roaming the halls alone, and I brightened when I saw him. "Draco!" I said happily as I ran up to him and hugged him.

He laughed as he hugged me back. "Hello to you too."

"Just got back from the Quidditch game," I said, pulling back. I shrugged. "Hufflepuff won... without catching the snitch."

Draco smirked. "Weasley's that bad, is he?"

I rolled my eyes. "Apparently. I don't even know how he got on the team, to tell you the truth. I could have done better than him. Keeper seems like a pretty cool position, actually."

Draco put his arm around, and we headed to the Slytherin common room. "Try out next year. The whole school would love to see us competing on the field."

I laughed. "Yeah, I bet." There was no one else in the room, so we sat down on the couch together. "So, have you figured out what you want to do with your life yet? It is OWL year, you know." The heads of the houses were supposed to help the students figure out which classes there should take for the next two years so that they would be prepared for the careers. I, of course, already had everything figured out.

Draco shrugged and looked away. "Not exactly. I'll probably just take the classes I get accepted into. All of it will probably be of some use."

I nodded in agreement. I did actually like what we learned in school, and it seemed like he did too. Yet... The way he was now refusing to look me in the eye suggested that there was something going on he would not tell me about. The familiar fear returned to my belly, and I did not press the matter. I knew I should be learning more about him and his family, especially when it came to darker matters, but... what if that led me to a place I did not want to go? 


	31. Complications

I was eating lunch at the Slytherin table the last Monday in February when an owl landed in front of me, carrying a long, cylindrical package. I blinked in surprise. I had not been expecting anything. Tearing open the package, I found a copy of March's Quibbler. There was a picture of Harry on the cover. In large, red letters across this picture were the words:

HARRY POTTER SPEAKS OUT AT LAST:  
THE TRUTH ABOUT HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED  
AND THE NIGHT I SAW HIM RETURN

My interest was instantly piqued. I noticed some of the Slytherins watching me with interested as I flipped through the magazine to find the article. It was an interview Harry had been given by Rita Skeeter. It contained the truth about what happened during the third task of the Triwizard Tournament the previous year. And he named all of the Death Eaters that had been present.

"What's that?" Draco asked curiously from beside me.

"The Quibbler," I responded a bit too quickly as I tried to hide the magazine under the table. I did not think it was a good idea for anyone at the table to be reading the interview.

Draco quirked an eyebrow. "You read the Quibbler?"

"Luna Lovegood is my friend, and her father is the editor. She must have sent me a free copy." I shrugged, hoping he would drop the subject.

Draco's eyes dropped to the magazine. "Must be interesting. Let me see."

I shook my head stubbornly. "No."

Draco frowned. "Come on." He tried to reach over and grab the magazine.

"Trust me; you don't want to read it." I could feel my heartbeat quickening. Others at the table were giving me odd looks. I did not want to cause I scene, so I reluctantly handed the magazine over to Draco.

His eyes immediately narrowed upon seeing the cover. "Figures Potter would be featured in a magazine like this," he muttered.

I looked away as he read the article. This was not going to be good. When he had finished, he threw the magazine back across the table at me, scowling. Everyone was staring at us now. I gulped. "Well, I better get to class," I said nervously. I took back the magazine and got out of there as quickly as I could.

By mid-morning, a new notice had been posted:

BY ORDER OF THE HIGH INQUISITOR OF HOGWARTS

Any student found in possession of the magazine  
The Quibbler will be expelled.

The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-seven.

Signed: Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor

This did not seem to stop anyone, however. As the day grew on, it seemed that more and more students had read the article. My initial reaction was positive. Everyone was finally getting to know the truth. My smile faded whenever I saw Draco or one of my Slytherin friends. I felt bad about avoiding them, but I did not know what I could say to them.

I did not talk to Draco again until the morning break on Wednesday. This had been the longest we had gone without talking to each other since everyone had found out about us. I was outside staring at the Black Lake, my hands in my pockets. The snow had almost all melted, and the sun was warming my skin. Regardless, I felt a cold chill in my heart that was slowly spreading throughout my body.

"Crystal."

Draco's voice was colder than when he usually addressed me, but it was not unfriendly. I slowly turned around to face him. He was staring at me calmly, but his eyes betrayed some intensity. I took deep breaths to slow my speeding heart. "Draco," I said in a surprisingly steady voice.

Draco strode towards me, stopping when he was a foot away. "Is everything alright? You've been sticking to your own house since breakfast on Monday."

His eyes landed on the necklace around my neck displaying the Gryffindor symbol, and I looked away self-consciously. "I'm sorry," I said softly. "I just-" I looked back at him, and I knew there was pain in my eyes. It was growing harder to hide the tension that was forming between us. Surely he had to feel it too?

"That article got you riled up? I thought you knew all this before."

I winced. Maybe he was more perceptive than I gave him credit for. "Yeah, well, now everyone knows, and-" I sighed and shook my head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been avoiding you. I'm just... afraid." This was the first time I had admitted it out loud. Saying it to him made it feel all the more real.

Draco's face softened, and he looked at me almost sympathetically. "Afraid of what?" he asked in a gentler tone.

"The darkness," I whispered. It was getting closer. I could feel it. I desperately wanted to keep it from driving us apart.

Draco's eyes flashed with something I did not recognize. He stepped closer, closing the gap between us. He gently lifted my chin with his hand, causing me to look into his eyes. "Crystal... You don't have to be afraid. Nothing is going to hurt you. I will make sure you are safe."

I turned my head away, causing him to drop his hand. He did not get it. He could not see my deepest fear. "You don't understand." My voice was shaking slightly. I looked back at him, sorrow in my eyes. "I can fight the darkness. I've always been ready to fight off evil. I'm not worried about that. I'm a Gryffindor and an American. Rebellion and resistance is in my blood."

Draco looked at me in confusion. "Then what's the problem?"

I hesitated. I had no idea how to explain what was wrong. "I just – I never thought this would be so complicated."

For a second I thought I saw in his eyes true understanding of the situation. A second later, he had pulled me into his arms. "Everything is going to be fine," he whispered. "We can survive this."

But could we?

***

The Monday before Easter break, we practiced Patronuses at our DA meeting. I was eager to have a chance to show off my skills. However, my first few tries produced no results. I frowned. Why wasn't it working?

"Try a different memory," Harry suggested as he made rounds inspecting everyone's progress.

That was not a bad idea. A lot had changed since I had attended school in America. Did I have a new happiest memory? I thought of Draco and a smile lit up my face. Of course. I chose a new memory and tried again. "Expecto Patronum!" This time, an eagle emerged from the tip of my wand and flew circles over my head.

"Nice job, Crystal," Harry said with a smile.

I grinned back at him.

"Thinking of Draco?" Emily asked from beside me, smirking.

I rolled my eyes. "Just keep practicing."

After some time had passed, a house elf barged into the room and began to speak to Harry frantically. I froze when I heard what he was saying. Umbridge had found out about the DA, and she was headed this way!

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" Harry bellowed. "RUN!"

I immediately bolted for the door, fear coursing through my veins. Harry's advice turned out to not be so great because there was a jam at the door as everyone tried to get out at once. I ended up in the back with Harry. After we finally broke through, he turned and slammed the Room of Requirement door shut. Now to get out of there!

"AAARGH!"

I spun around to see that Harry had tripped over something and fell on the floor. I jumped back when he skidded forward several feet. I was about to help him when I saw something that made my blood run cold.

Draco was concealed in a niche beneath an ugly dragon-shaped vase. And he was laughing. "Trip Jinx, Potter!" he said. His eyes locked onto mien for a second. They told me to run.

I should have run. It would have been the smart thing to do. It was what I had become good at, after all. But I found that my legs weren't working. I stood there in shock like an idiot, staring at Draco.

Finally, he looked away and stepped out from behind the vase. "Hey, Professor--PROFESSOR! I've got one!" He cast me a quick, furtive glance, but I still could not move.

Umbridge came bustling round the far corner, breathless but wearing a delighted smile. "It's him!" she said jubilantly at the sight of Harry on the floor. "Excellent, Draco, excellent, oh, very good--fifty points to Slytherin! I'll take him from here ... stand up, Potter!" As Harry stood up, she looked at me. "Oh, Miss Hansen." She glanced at Draco questioningly. "Her too?"

Draco faltered, but he quickly regained his composure and said, "No. I saw her coming from another direction."

As Harry gave him a hateful look, my body finally decided to start working and I stepped forward. "No!" I cried. "He's wrong. I'm with them. Ask Harry."

Harry glanced at me in surprise. After a hard look from me, he said, "Uh, right. She's with me."

Draco now appeared bewildered, and I quickly looked away. He should have seen this coming. Why would he try to cover for me? He should have known it would not have felt right to me.

Umbridge pursed her lips. "Alright. You hop along and see if you can round up any more of them, Draco. Tell the others to look in the library--anybody out of breath--check the bathrooms, Miss Parkinson can do the girls' ones--off you go--and you two,' she added in her softest, most dangerous voice, as Draco walked away, 'you can come with me to the Headmaster's office, Potter and Miss Hansen."

Umbridge gripped our shoulders as she led us through the halls. Terror had filled my body, and it was not at the thought of what punishment awaited for me and the other DA members who were caught.

*

A bunch of people had been in Dumbledore's office, including the Minister of Magic. Fudge apparently thought the DA was proof that Dumbledore was raising an army against him. That was what the name suggested. Perhaps that had not been such a good idea after all. Fudge wanted to have Dumbledore arrested, but the headmaster escaped with the help of his phoenix. He was nowhere to be found. The next day, Umbridge was made headmaster and, somehow, everyone in the school seemed to know about the day's previous events. I stuck close to my Gryffindor friends, avoiding Draco like the plague.

"Dumbledore will be back before long," Ernie Macmillan said confidently on the way back from Herbology after listening intently to Harry's story. "They couldn't keep him away in our second year and they won't be able to this time. The Fat Friar told me-" He dropped his voice conspiratorially, so that Harry, Ron Hermione, and I had to lean closer to him to hear "--that Umbridge tried to get back into his office last night after they'd searched the castle and grounds for him. Couldn't get past the gargoyle. The Head's office has sealed itself against her." Ernie smirked. "Apparently, she had a right little tantrum."

"Oh, I expect she really fancied herself sitting up there in the Head's office," Hermione said viciously as we walked up the stone steps into the Entrance Hall. "Lording it over all the other teachers, the stupid puffed-up, power-crazy old-"

"Now, do you really want to finish that sentence, Granger?" I held in a groan as Draco slid out from behind the door, followed by Gregory and Vincent. "Afraid I'm going to have to dock a few points from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff."

"It's only teachers who can dock points from houses, Malfoy," Ernie said.

"Yeah, we're prefects, too, remember?" snarled Ron. He shot me a look like he always did when Draco was around, as if I were responsible for his actions.

"I know prefects can't dock points, Weasel King,' Draco sneered. Vincent and Gregory sniggered. "But members of the Inquisitorial Squad-"

"The what?" Hermione said sharply.

"The Inquisitorial Squad, Granger," Draco said, pointing towards a tiny silver 'I' on his robes just beneath his prefect's badge. "A select group of students who are supportive of the Ministry of Magic, hand-picked by Professor Umbridge. Anyway, members of the Inquisitorial Squad do have the power to dock points ... so, Granger, I'll have five from you for being rude about our new Headmistress. Macmillan, five for contradicting me. Five because I don't like you, Potter. Weasley, your shirt's untucked, so I'll have another five for that. Oh yeah, I forgot, you're a Mudblood, Granger, so ten off for that."

Ron pulled out his wand, but Hermione pushed it away, whispering, "Don't!"

"Wise move, Granger," breathed Draco. "New Head, new times ... be good now, Potty ... Weasel King ..."

Ron roughly nudged me with his elbow and muttered, "You happy now?"

I resisted my urge to roll my eyes. He was right about one thing, though. This was about as much as I could take. "Draco," I said through gritted teeth, "we need to talk. Now."

Ron snorted. "Like that will do you a load of good."

I shot him a look. "_Ronald_. Please. He's mine to deal with."

Hermione nodded at me meekly. "Go."

I turned back to Draco, who was watching me with a curious look on his face. "Fine," he said casually, as if nothing were wrong.

I grabbed his robe sleeve and began to pull him away. I stopped when I noticed all the others watching us. "Alone," I hissed, and they turned away. I did not let go of Draco until we reached an abandoned hall. Then I turned to face him, my arms crossed and a hard expression on my face.

Draco raised his eyebrows at me. "What's wrong with you?"

I stared at him incredulously. "_Really_? You have no idea what's wrong?"

Draco shrugged. "Lighten up. I was just having a bit of fun."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "This is about more than that stupid stunt you pulled back there."

Draco frowned. "Are you talking about last night?"

I nodded. "More than that too, but that's a good start."

"I tried to help you out! You're the one who got yourself in trouble."

"I didn't want you to help me! I don't want special treatment!"

Draco's defensiveness was replaced by confusion. "Why not? I don't understand."

"Exactly," I said darkly. "That's the problem. You don't think anything's wrong. Why did you have to get involved with Umbridge at all?"

"Because that's what I do!" Draco said hotly. "None of this bothered you before. You're the one who doesn't care about houses."

"This has nothing to do with houses!" I snapped.

"Maybe your problem is that you need to choose better friends."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not wanting to become angry. He still wasn't getting the point. It looked like I would have to spell it out for him. My face softened as I looked at him again. "You're right; this stuff didn't bother me before. I could deal with your Slytherin antics and hating my friends if I knew everything would be fine after school, but it won't be. This isn't a game, Draco. There are forces much stronger than us at work." I paused. "Where do your loyalties lay, Draco?"

He had grown quiet while I spoke. It seemed like I was finally getting something through to him. "With you," he said softly.

I grit my teeth. "That's not good enough anymore. Battle lines are being drawn, and you're making us enemies."

"We don't have to be!"

"No," I said, my eyes tight, "but that's not my call. You know where I stand. I have to fight for what I think is right. If you won't join me..." I felt my throat tightening, and I swallowed.

"What?" Draco asked in a low voice, stepping towards me.

"I don't want to fight you," I said, barely above a whisper.

Draco touched my chin, but I turned away. "Then don't."

I shut my eyes as I felt tears forming. "You're the one who's leading us on a path of destruction. I can't take this anymore. The tension is tearing me apart."

"Crystal," Draco said, his voice now sounding panicked, "don't do this. We're fine."

My vision was blurry as I looked at him again. "If you really believe that, then you're just as blind and naïve as the Ministry. Something's coming between us, and you don't even want to fight it."

"There's nothing to fight," Draco hissed, but his eyes were wide with fear. "Don't you want to be with you?"

"Of course I do, but there's more to it than that. Something's not working. I don't want us to burn down. Maybe we just need some time apart..."

"Time apart, right," Draco said bitterly. He stepped back and crossed his arms angrily. "I know what that means."

I let out a heavy sigh. "I-I can't break through the barrier, Draco. I'm sorry. I would give anything to change that." I found I was shaking and I could not stop. I hated to leave him. Something about it did not seem right, but there was only so much pressure I could take.

I could see pain in his eyes, but he quickly masked it with anger. He did not say anything more. He simply turned and stalked down the hall.

I whimpered as I watched him leave. Somehow, I felt more torn than ever. I had no idea if I was doing the right thing, but I could not figure out the answer when I was with Draco. He just muddied everything up.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and slowly turned around. I froze when I saw George standing there. Form the shocked looked on his face, it seemed like he had heard enough. I shot him a look. "Leave me alone," I mumbled. I tried to walk past him, but he pulled me back with his arm. I was about to give him an angry retort when I saw that his eyes were full of compassion.

"Crystal," he said softly, "are you alright?"

I bit my lip and shook my head. I could feel the tears forming again. George pulled me against him and wrapped his arms around me. I had not realized how much I needed the comfort of another person. I buried my face in his robes and held onto him tightly. 


	32. George, Fred, and Snape

"I gotta go," George said after several minutes. "Fred and I have something big planned to rile up Umbridge."

I pulled away from him and frowned. "What is it?"

George smiled. "You'll see. I think you'll enjoy it." He winked. "I'll see you later, ok?"

I nodded numbly, not knowing what else to say. I watched as he left to join the hoard of people making their way into the Great Hall for lunch. Well, at least he did not hate me anymore. I did not feel like eating lunch, so I headed back to Gryffindor Tower.

I had just gotten to my room when I heard a distant 'boom.' Remembering what George had told me, I ran back out to the stairs to check out what was going on. Soon I found out what had happened. Someone had set off an enormous crate of enchanted fireworks. It had to have been Fred and George.

I grinned as I watched the fireworks buzz around, causing mayhem. George was right; this was making me feel better. The best part was Umbridge's look of utter horror. She and Filch tried to fight the fireworks with magic, but they were not very successful.

Fred and George were surrounded by adoring fans that night in the Gryffindor common room. I watched the commotion with a small smile. Those two had great timing; no one was bothering me about my breakup with Draco like I thought they would. The prank was bigger news. It would probably mask everything in Slytherin too. Now I just had to figure out a way to make it through the rest of the year.

***

I wanted to go home for the Easter holidays (or at least back to headquarters) but my parents felt it was better that Emily and I stayed at Hogwarts. The Order of the Phoenix must have been pretty busy, what with Dumbledore missing and the Ministry running amuck.

The break was not too bad, though. I had my OWLS to study for. Hermione tried to get me to study with her, Ron, and Harry, but I wanted to avoid them at the moment. The only people I really felt like being around were George and Fred, which was an odd twist of events. I would sit in with them as they planned another prank or talked about a new product for the store they were planning on opening.

Besides Draco and the Slytherins, the person I had been avoiding most was Ron. He did not seem to miss me too much. He talked to me once on Wednesday night. I was sitting on the couch beside George while Fred was perched on the arm rest, looking out at the room almost as if he were guarding us. For a second I wondered if it was such a good idea to be going to George for comfort, but I quickly pushed the thought away. He was just being a good friend. Besides, I could really not stand to be alone at the moment.

"Oh, hey, Crystal," Ron said as he sauntered over to us. "I never congratulated you for breaking up with Malfoy. You've got some sense in you after all."

I glared at him. "Shut up, Ron."

George took a pillow from the couch and threw it at his younger brother, hitting him in the face. "Yeah, be a bit more sensitive."

Fred laughed as Ron threw the pillow down and walked away, muttering.

I leaned my head against George's shoulder and he looked at me. "He didn't mean anything by it," he said softly.

"I know; he's just being Ron," I mumbled. I should have been used to him by then.

George seemed hesitant about something. Finally, he said in a quiet voice, "Do you love him?"

I gave him a puzzled look. "Ron?"

George shook his head. "Malfoy."

I frowned. Did I love Draco? It was not something I had reflected upon much, though I probably should have. I had been too busy trying to hold us together to worry about it. "I don't know, honestly." I let out a sigh. "I suppose it doesn't matter much now, does it?"

George gave me a weak smile. "Guess not."

***

Towards the end of the break, a bunch of pamphlets, leaflets, and notices concerning future careers were piled on top of the tables in Gryffindor Tower. A notice on the board read:

CAREERS ADVICE

All fifth-years are required to attend a short meeting with their  
Head of House during the first week of the summer term to discuss  
their future careers. Times of individual appointments are listed below.

I was to meet with Professor McGonagall at four on Thursday after break. I was not too worried. I already knew what she was going to say. While my friends inspected possible careers, I studied alone in my room.

The Sunday before school began, I was hanging out with George and Fred in the common room, and I noticed that something seemed off. George kept glancing at me and looking away quickly. When I looked to Fred for answers, he bluntly said, "Crystal, there's something we've got to tell you."

I frowned. This could not be good. I was sitting between the twins on the couch. "What?" I asked warily.

"We're leaving school," George said slowly. His face shone with regret.

I looked at him in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"We don't need school anymore," Fred explained. "We've already got our futures planned out. "We've just stayed to cause havoc for Umbridge – and we've got a big exit planned."

I was beginning to feel sick in my stomach. "No! You can't go!" I gave George a pleading look. "Please?"

George let out a heavy sigh and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Crystal. We promised we'd give Harry a distraction. There's something important he's gotta do. We'll see you this summer, though."

I knew I would not be able to convince them to change their minds, so I simply hugged George. When he eventually let go of me, I turned to Fred and hugged him. "I'm gonna miss you guys," I whispered.

"Everything will be fine, mate," Fred said. "You're strong."

I just wondered how strong.

***

It happened Monday afternoon. As I was exiting Defense Against the Dark Arts, I heard screams and yells from somewhere above me. I found the nearest stairs and ascended to see what was going on. The commotion was going on in the Entrance Hall, which had been turned into a giant swamp. Eventually, most of the school gathered around the area, standing in a circle around the swamp. The Inquisitorial Squad rounded up Fred and George, forcing them into the middle.

Umbridge was standing on the stairs, looking down at the scene. "So!" she said triumphantly once the twins had been caught. "So--you think it amusing to turn a school corridor into a swamp, do you?"

"Pretty amusing, yeah," Fred said, looking up at her without the slightest sign of fear, which I had to admire.

I laughed out loud. Fred grinned at me, but I frowned when Umbridge shot me a glare.

Filch elbowed his way closer to Umbridge, almost crying with happiness. "I've got the form, Headmistress," he said hoarsely, waving a piece of parchment. "I've got the form and I've got the whips waiting ... oh, let me do it now ..."

"Very good, Argus," she said. "You two," she went on, gazing down at Fred and George, "are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school."

"You know what?" said Fred. "I don't think we are." He turned to his twin. "George, I think we've outgrown full-time education."

"Yeah, I've been feeling that way myself," George said lightly.

"Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?" Fred asked.

"Definitely," said George.

Before Umbridge could say a word, they raised their wands and said together: "Accio brooms!"

There was a loud crack in the distance. Two brooms zoomed forward, landing in front of the twins. "We won't be seeing you," Fred told Professor Umbridge, swinging his leg over his broomstick.

"Yeah, don't bother to keep in touch," George said, mounting his own.

Fred looked around at the assembled students, at the silent, watchful crowd. "If anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley--Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes," he said in a loud voice. "Our new premises!"

"Special discounts to Hogwart's students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat," added George, pointing at Umbridge.

"STOP THEM!" Umbridge shrieked, but it was too late. As the Inquisitorial Squad closed in, Fred and George kicked off from the floor, shooting fifteen feet into the air.

Fred looked across the hall at the poltergeist bobbing on his level above the crowd. "Give her hell from us, Peeves."

The ghost Peeves swept his belled hat from his head and sprang to a salute as Fred and George wheeled about to tumultuous applause from the students below and sped out of the open front doors into the glorious sunset. I smiled as I watched them go. I felt a sudden, great rush of love for them. They would be heroes. I was glad I had been able to make up with them before they departed.

***

The good thing about the career planning meetings was that some of us got to miss part of class. For me, that was Charms. I was let out of class early to talk to Professor McGonagall. I knocked twice, and I received a "come in."

The professor was seated at her desk. She motioned to the chair in front of her and I saw down. "Good afternoon, professor," I said politely.

"Good afternoon, Miss Hansen," McGonagall said. She folded her hands on the desk. "Now, the point of these meetings is to help you decide which classes you should take the next two years so you will be prepared for your chosen career. Do you have an idea of what you would like to do after graduating?"

"Something with potions," I said automatically. "Potions master, maybe."

McGonagall seemed surprised, but then she gave me a small smile. "Well, you'll have to earn and E in NEWT level Potions. I don't have much knowledge of the subject, but it might be helpful for you to have a chat with Professor Snape. He might be able to give you additional advice as you advance in his class. Would you like me to alert him for you?"

"Yes, please," I said, trying to hide my nervousness with a smile. Just a few weeks ago, I would have had no problem talking with Snape. Now, however, I dreaded going down into the dungeons alone. Who knew who I would run into down there?

McGonagall nodded. "Very well. You are dismissed."

I stood up and slowly made my way out of the room. I did not think my Charms professor would be expecting me back, so I felt fine about heading directly to Gryffindor Tower to think some things through.

***

Snape did not talk to me until two Mondays later. I was sitting with the Gryffindors again, usually next to Hermione. Harry was kind to me, and Ron was slowly getting used to my company. I tried hard to keep up the quality of my work, but I could always feel Draco's intense stare throughout the class. Whenever I glanced over at him, he always gave me a hard look before turning away again. I was glad when class was over.

"Miss Hansen," Snape said as everyone else gathered up their supplies, "may I speak to you for a minute?"

I nodded and walked over to his desk. I did not think I was in trouble, but I could never be too sure with him. His face was much harder to read than Draco's. "Yes?" I said timidly.

"Professor McGonagall spoke to me about your career ambitions," Snape began. "I have finished meeting with my own students, so I now have time to meet with you. Come see me in my office at seven tonight."

I nodded. "Ok. Thank you, professor." I gave him a small smile before turning and walking out of the room.

I was nervous about returning to the dungeons alone that night. Draco was a prefect; surely, he would be roaming the halls. With great luck, though, I made it to Snape's office without catching sight of a single Slytherin.

Snape looked up from his desk when I entered his office. "Miss Hansen," he said, "please, sit down."

"Thank you," I said as I took the seat in front of him.

"Now, let us begin. Professor McGonagall told you what you must do to pursue a career in potions?"

I nodded.

"It is a tough field, Miss Hansen. As you know, my standards are high, and not many students reach them. It is not often that I see someone with unusual talent. You, however, are one of the most exceptional students I have met. Therefore, I want to make sure that you succeed. I want you to feel free to come see me next year whenever you feel the need."

I was surprised at the offer. I knew he was impressed with my abilities, but I never expected him to take such a personal interest in my success. It meant a lot to me that he cared. "Thank you, professor."

He nodded curtly. "I would be happy to offer you any help you might need along the way. Perhaps, if you are up to it, I will give you advanced lessons to give you a head start after you graduate."

I brightened. "That sounds great. Thanks."

"That is all I have to say on that matter. However-" Here he paused, almost as if he was unsure he should continue. "Forgive me if I am intruding upon a personal matter, but I have noticed that recently you have been keeping an unusual distance from those in my house, particularly Mr. Malfoy."

I winced, embarrassed that he had noticed. I wondered why he was bringing it up. Had he actually _liked_ that I was making progress with his house? "We had a fight," I said, looking down.

"Is everything alright?" Snape asked in his usual tone. I did not know if he was asked merely out of bored curiosity or genuine concern.

I shrugged. "There's too much between us. It's not that he's in Slytherin," I said quickly, making sure he did not jump to the wrong conclusion. "I never cared about that. It's just-" I hesitated, unsure how much I should divulge to a professor who might not actually care. "Draco has made it increasingly clear that we're on opposite sides when it comes to bigger issues."

"I see," Snape said coolly. "From actions on the Quidditch pitch, I would have assumed you would do anything to make it work."

I frowned. His words troubled me deeply. Had I really not tried hard enough? "I'm losing him," I said softly. "I don't know how to stop him from choosing the wrong path." I swallowed a lump in my throat. "It shouldn't be this way." My voice was coming out cracked. "I shouldn't have to fight my greatest battle against the one who should be closest to me."

"It seems to me," Snape said after a moment of silence, "that you can fight this battle now and have a chance at winning or wait until it's too late and lose him forever."

I sensed a warning in his voice, and I glanced down. I had no idea why, but I had become comfortable talking to him. The other Gryffindors would have thought I lost my mind, yet, somehow, I felt he would understand. I pulled Draco's necklace out from under my shirt. I flipped it over the Slytherin side and passed my thumb over the snake. Looking back up at Snape, I said sadly, "This isn't going to go away, is it? What I'm feeling?"

Snape hesitated again. Then, in a slow and very careful tone, he said, "Love does not die, Miss Hansen."

I found this to be the most surprising thing he had said all night. It was almost as if he were speaking from experience. I opened my mouth to ask more, but he cut me off.

"You may go now, Miss Hansen."

I closed my mouth, frowning. "Ok. Thank you, Professor Snape." As I stood up to leave, I heard him speak again.

"Anytime." 


	33. Talking With Harry

"That is odd," Ginny said as we sat in my room the next evening. "I don't know why Snape would bring it up. Do you think Draco could have complained to him?"

I shrugged. "It didn't seem like it." I paused. There was something else I had been thinking, and I wanted to test the idea. "Do you know if Snape's ever been in love with someone?"

Ginny seemed startled by the question. "No. The thought never even crossed my mind. He just doesn't seem like the type, if you know what I mean. He's always detested emotions and stuff like romance."

I could see where she was coming from, yet, something inside me wanted to reject the notion. Intuition. "That doesn't mean he was always that way. What if it's the other way around? What if he became bitter because of a tragic experience with a girl in his past?"

Ginny blinked. "That's an interesting theory." A thoughtful expression crossed her face. "That would certainly explain a lot." She frowned. "But then, wouldn't he be warning you _away_ from Draco because of the pain love can cause?"

I shook my head. "Not necessarily. Maybe he knows what went wrong and wants to stop Draco and me from making the same mistake." I shrugged. "This is all just speculation, of course."

"I doubt you'll have much of a chance to find out the truth."

"I wouldn't say that," I said with a small smirk. "Don't doubt my powers of getting through to people."

Ginny laughed. "Ok, Crystal. How about instead of analyzing Snape, we talk about the actual advice he gave?"

"Alright," I agreed. "Do you think there's any sense in it?"

"I think it's understandable," Ginny began slowly and carefully. "It _did_ seem like you gave up a bit too early, no offense. You two seemed so inseparable."

"That's because I was avoiding our problems," I said quietly, looking away.

"And now you're not?"

I looked at her and frowned. "Draco doesn't even think there's anything wrong. How are we supposed to fix something he doesn't believe is broken?"

"Did you even try? If he really means that much to you, if you really _love_ him, then why wouldn't you do everything you possibly could to help him see the light? Don't get me wrong, you've done more than anyone ever thought possible, and no one here would blame you if you gave up, but are you really prepared to leave him behind, knowing where you're likely leaving him?" She was staring at me with a very serious expression on her face. She paused before continuing. "I don't know what the right choice is, but I would warn you to think about it carefully. You're going to have to be able to live with the decision or the rest of your life."

I nodded numbly. "Right," I murmured. I touched the place on my chest where my pendant lay hidden. "I will think about it. Thanks for the advice, Ginny."

She smiled warmly at me. "Anytime. I'm going to go see what's going on in the common room. Care to join me?"

"Ok."

We both stood up and headed down the stairs. There were several people hanging out in the common room. Ron, Harry, and Hermione appeared to be attempting to studying, but the two boys were obviously distracted. "Hey, guys," Ginny said lightly as we entered.

"Hey, Ginny," Ron said boredly. When he noticed me, he frowned. "Crystal, I take back what I said about Malfoy. You should make up with him. He's been nastier than ever to us since you broke up." He made a face.

I could not help but laugh. "You're impossible to please, Ron."

"Well, I think I need some fresh air," Harry said, putting his book down and standing up from the couch.

"Me too," Ron said, smiling.

Hermione looked at him and frowned. "Oh, no, you don't. Harry's gotten farther than you. He can take a break. You need to stay here and study."

Ron's smile fell. "Brilliant," he muttered.

I laughed again. "I'll walk with you, Harry."

"Alright," Harry agreed. "Let's be off."

I had not been alone with him for quite some time. We were silent as we walked out of the castle, which was fine with me. Once we were outside, I took the lead and headed in the direction of the Black Lake. "I love lakes," I explained. "They remind me of Minnesota."

"There are a lot of lakes there?"

I smiled. "Tons."

We both grew silent again. After a minute of staring at the lake, Harry said, "Where did your father live when he lived in Britain?"

"Here in Scotland," I replied. "At least while he was at Hogwarts. He later moved to England to be closer to the Order of the Phoenix, which he did not care to mention to me until recently." I shrugged. I had never noticed how particularly silent about his past he had been until now.

"How'd your parents meet?"

I allowed myself to smile. This was something I did know. "My mother could not find a wizarding job in Minnesota at the time, but London needed a lot of help, so she took a job there and decided to stay for a few years. She became worried about Voldemort and tried to avoid all the trouble. She met my dad early on. They got along well, and they helped each other through the troubling times."

I paused. I noticed that Harry was watching me with interest, so I decided to continue. "My mom ended up staying longer than planned. After they got married my dad tried to convince her to stay in Britain, and she agreed at first. But when my mom became pregnant, they both decided it was too dangerous to raise a baby in England, so they moved back to Minnesota. Of course, it was not too long after that that Voldemort was defeated..." I shrugged. "My dad seems to be doing great here, but I don't think my mom would have agreed to move back if she would have known everything that would happen." I paused. "Maybe it would have been for the best, too."

Harry smiled at me sympathetically. "Feeling that bad, huh?"

I looked at the lake. "Everything was just a lot... simpler than in America."

"I know what you mean," Harry said. "I would never go back to the times when I thought I was just an ordinary kid, but life then was much easier to understand."

I turned back to him and smiled slightly. My eyes flickered to his scar. There was something that I had wanted to know since I had heard about him, but I had never wanted to pry. Now seemed like a good time to ask, however. "Harry, if you don't mind me asking, do you know how you survived Voldemort's attack?"

Thankfully, Harry did not seem troubled by the question. "I don't know exactly what happened, but Dumbledore told me it was because my mother shielded me from Voldemort with her body. That act of love somehow protected me from Voldemort's curse."

"Interesting," I murmured. "The cause was love?"

Harry nodded. "Dumbledore said that is the one thing Voldemort doesn't understand, which is why he didn't this coming."

I looked away as I thought about what he had said. Love... I shook my head and sighed. "Love just seems to be causing a load of trouble for me. Please don't say 'I told you so.' I know how you feel about Draco." When I looked at him, I was surprised to see that he seemed to be thinking hard about something. This was not the response I had been expecting. "What?"

Harry appeared hesitant to explain himself. Finally, he looked at me earnestly and said, "Remember Fred and George's bug exit? They did that as a distraction so that I could talk to Sirius – and Lupin. They were best friends with my father when they were at Hogwarts."

"Ok..." I said slowly. I gave him an odd look. What did this have to do with anything? "It was that urgent?"

"I had to ask them about a memory of Snape's that I saw in his pensieve."

Now I was even more confused. "Snape showed you one of his memories?" Even if he did like me, I knew he hated Harry.

Harry shook his head. "I was kind of snooping, but that's not the point. I found out my father was kind of a jerk when he was young. He was bulling Snape..." He glanced down. He seemed to be in pain as he spoke.

I gave him a sympathetic smile. Well, that at least partly explained Snape's attitude towards Harry.

"He reminded me a bit of Malfoy, actually," he said, looking up again. "My mother yelled at him for what he was doing to Snape. Sirius told me he grew out of it by seventh year, and my mother started dating him. The memory was during fifth year, so..."

"You think I may have been right about Draco in the first place? He might grow out of it too?"

Harry shrugged and looked away. "It's a possibility. If this is really bothering you that much... There's still hope."

I smiled weakly. "Thanks, Harry." I appreciated the effort it took to give me unbiased advice. However, there was one detail that ruined his analogy. "But did your dad have a Death Eater father trying to get him to become like him?"

Harry looked at me and frowned. "Oh. No, he hated the dark arts. I suppose that's an important difference. Malfoy doesn't have to take his father's path, though. He has a choice, doesn't he?"

I sighed. "I think it's more complicated than that – not that I'd know. He hasn't told me muchabout those matters." I frowned. "But I never asked. I didn't try to find out. I was too afraid."

"I can't blame you," Harry said, looking at me sympathetically. "I would run away if I could."

"Running away is what got me into this mess," I muttered. "Running and hiding. I'm tired of it. Can't I just fight?"

Harry shook his head. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into. It's not as easy as it seems."

"I don't want it to be easy." I looked away. I thought about what Snape had told me, and I wondered what Harry about it. "Snape thinks it's better to fight. He said love never dies."

"Snape?" Harry said in surprise. "What does he know about love?"

I looked at him and shrugged. "Something, obviously. Is it true?"

Harry hesitated. "I didn't even know my parents," he said slowly, "but I still feel a strong love for them. It's not going to go away."

I nodded. "That's what I thought. I wonder if it's worse to lose someone when they're still right in front of you." At least his parents had died fighting on the right side. Draco, on the other hand... I didn't want to see him destroy himself. What was I supposed to do then? If I couldn't forget about him...

"He's not gone yet," Harry said quietly. "You still have a chance. I never did..."

As we locked eyes, I felt a connection to him, like we both experienced and understood something important. We did not need to say anything; just looking was enough.

"We better get back to the common room," Harry said, breaking the contact, "before Hermione sends out a search party for us."

I chuckled. I could see that happening. "Alright. And thanks for talking." I smiled at him.

He nodded his head. "No problem. Thanks for walking with me."

As we headed back to the castle, our conversation swam in my mind. Everything seemed to be pointing in the same direction. I needed to figure out a plan, and then I would have to find the courage to execute it. 


	34. Thinking It Through

"When are you going to get back together with Draco?" Emily whined. We were sitting across from each other at a table in the library. I was helping her study for her exams.

I groaned at her question. "Why does everyone keep saying that? I thought everyone _didn't_ want me to be with him."

Emily frowned. "I always wanted you to be with him, even before you wanted to."

I gave her a look. "Not the point."

Emily blinked. "Who else is saying you should get back together?"

"Ginny, Harry, Ron, Snape..."

"Snape?" Emily said in surprise, raising her eyebrows.

I let out a weary sigh. I was getting tired explaining the story. "Yes. I met with him about my future in potions. Anyway..." I trailed off, unconsciously touching the pendant beneath my shirt.

"Do you miss Draco?" Emily asked, more sympathetic this time.

I gazed at her sadly. "Of course I do. I've never missed anyone this much before. It hurts to be apart like this. But the worst part it-" I paused in and looked down, not sure if I wanted to reveal so much to my sister. She was too young an innocent. Yet, she had been part of the DA. Voldemort was threatening all of us. Didn't she have to be prepared too?

"What?" Emily asked gently.

I looked up at her and saw that she was genuinely concerned for me, so I decided to continue. "Worrying about him. I don't like what he's getting himself into." I smiled bitterly as I thought about something. "The reason dad doesn't want me near him is the very reason I want to be, the reason it _hurts_ not to be. I'm afraid for him..." More afraid than I was for the darkness. Something stronger was emerging, and it was becoming hard to deny.

"You love him," Emily state softly.

I nodded. "I don't know if that's going to do me any good."

"Love always works out in the end," Emily said with a smile.

I sighed. "Yeah, well..."

"You gotta at least try."

"I know." She was saying what everyone else had been. My heart agreed with them, and my brain was finally starting to catch up.

"Do it now," Emily whispered. Her eyes flickered to the library door.

I glanced at the door. My breath caught in my throat when I saw Draco walking in with Gregory and Vincent. My body felt numb.

Then his eyes locked with mine. He frowned and glowered at me. Vincent smiled and started to wave to me, but Draco grabbed his arm and pulled him forward along with Gregory. They disappeared into the book shelves.

"Why is he being so hostile?" I wondered out loud.

"You dumped him," Emily stated flatly. "What do you expect? He's probably trying to mask the pain."

I let out a sigh. "Or he doesn't care about me anymore."

Emily frowned. "I doubt that's it. You should go talk to him."

I hesitated. "I will later. There's some things I've gotta think through first. I have to figure out what I'm going to say.

Emily gave me a serious look. "Alright. Just don't wait until it's too late."

***

The final match of the Quidditch season was Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw the last Saturday of May. If Gryffindor won the game, we would go home with the trophy. Not many people were optimistic, though, mostly because of Ron's keeping skills, or lack-there-of.

Ron, on the other hand, actually seemed quite happy at breakfast the morning of the game. "I mean, I can't get any worse, can I?" he said to Harry, Hermione, and me. "Nothing to lose now, is there?"

"That's the spirit," I said lightly.

Ron did not respond.

"You know," Hermione said as she walked with Harry and me down to the pitch a little later in the midst of a very excitable crowd, "I think Ron might do better without Fred and George around. They never exactly gave him a lot of confidence."

"Positive thinking is key," I said. "Positive or negative reinforcement can create a self-fulfilling prophecy."

We found seats at the top row. I watched as both teams took the field. I didn't know the Ravenclaws too well save for Luna.  
The game began. I groaned along with the other Gryffindors when Ron let in a goal. Over on the other side of the stands, the Slytherins who were at the game began to sing:

"Weasley cannot save a thing  
He cannot block a single ring ..."

I still did not know where that song had come from, and I was afraid I did not want to know the answer. I felt my stomach clench. I could not take this. "I've gotta go," I mumbled as I stood up and started down the aisle.

I could not leave the game, though. I had promised Ginny I would watch her play. My feet led me to where the Slytherins were sitting. They did not notice my arrival; they were still singing. "Will you cut that out?" I said forcefully.

A few of the Slytherins glanced at me. They just laughed and returned to the game. I growled in frustration. Then I saw Draco. He was at the end of a row. Before I knew what I was doing, I found myself moving to stand beside him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked bitterly when he saw me.

"Can't you just watch the game quietly?" I huffed.

"Of course not," Draco said in a cocky tone. He frowned. "Not that you would understand."

I sighed. "Can we please not fight? Will you just listen to me?"

"No," Draco said firmly as he turned his head away. "Leave me alone."

I was struck by his coldness; I felt a lump forming in my throat. "Draco..."

When Draco spoke again, it was so quiet I almost could not hear it. "I thought you were different."

The words sunk deep into my heart. I had nothing else to say. I turned and left the stands. I ended up back where I started with the Gryffindors. I tried to pay attention to the fame, but my mind was elsewhere.

But as the game progressed, what was happening on the field increasingly caught my attention. Ron wasn't playing horribly anymore. In fact, he was really _good_. I watched in amazement as he stopped almost every Quaffle ball that came near him.

And then Ginny caught the snitch and it was all over. I could hardly believe it. I threw my arms up n the air and cheered along with my housemates. I allowed myself to feel joyful. This meant that Gryffindor had won the Quidditch cup! It was all so very exciting. Perhaps all Ron had needed was a bit of confidence after all.

As Ron was handed the trophy, us Gryffindors rushed onto the field, still cheering. We picked up Ron and began carrying him through a castle. Then an alternative version to the Slytherin song broke out spontaneously:

"Weasley is our King,  
Weasley is our King,  
He didn't let the Quaffle in,  
Weasley is our King  
Weasley can save anything,  
He never leaves a single ring,  
That's why Gryffindors all sing:  
Weasley is our King  
Weasley is our King,  
Weasley is our King,  
He didn't let the Quaffle in,  
Weasley is our King"

Once in the common room, everyone was crowded around Ron. I felt happy for him; he needed the confidence boost. I waited until all the excitement had died down a bit, and then I pushed my way through the crowd to find Ron.

"Hey," I said, clasping him on the shoulder and smiling at him. "Great job out there."  
For the first time in a long time, Ron smiled back at me. "Thanks!"

I had made my decision by Monday morning. The hard part would be executing it. I decided the Potions class I shared with Slytherins was my best shot. I sat next to Harry, and I was agitated throughout the class. I kept looking back at Draco, but he would either ignore me or send me a sharp look. I did not let this deter me. There was something I had to tell him. He needed to know.

I sprang up when the bell rang. "What's the hurry?" Harry asked as he stood up with me.

"Can't talk," I said as I made my way to the door. I was determined to catch Draco before he ran off. If worst came to worst, I could always find him at lunch. I noticed Harry following me, but I ignored him. "Draco!"

He was out the door now. I rushed to catch up to him. When I placed my hand on his shoulder, he spun around and snarled at me. "Lay off me!"

I winced and stepped back in fear.

"Give her a break," said Harry, who was now by my said.

Draco glared at him. "This is none of you business, Potter."

I looked at Harry apologetically. "Please don't help. I can handle this."

Harry hesitated before turning and leaving.

I looked back at Draco; he now had his arms crossed, and there was a scowl on his face. "Please, Draco. I just want to talk."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Why should I want to talk to you?"

I bit my lip, trying to fight off the fear that he really did not care anymore. I remembered what he had said at the Quidditch game. What did he want form me? "Because I-" An idea hit me. I pulled out the pendant I had been hiding; the Slytherin side was showing.

Draco looked at in surprise. All anger seemed to vanish from his face. Without speaking a word, he pulled his eagle necklace out from under his own shirt.

As we locked eyes, understanding flooded through me. He still cared. Had he thought I didn't? We had to fix this now. I glanced around; no one was around. Everyone had headed off to lunch. We could talk in private.

"We should have talked a long time ago," I began quietly. "I held it all in and then I blew up at you. It was just... hard to bring it up when you were acting like there was nothing wrong."

Draco's face softened. He stepped closer to me, stopping when he was a foot away. "Crystal, you don't think I see that something's wrong? I know something big is coming. I'm not sure what it means, but I have no control over it." He paused. "I have control over what I do in school. I have power here."

I nodded. I could understand where he was coming from. I should have questioned him earlier. "I'm afraid," I said. "Afraid I'm going to lose you."

"I'm afraid I'm going to lose you too," Draco said. "I thought I already had."

I looked away, unable to bear the pain I saw in his eyes. "I didn't know what to do. You were making me choose between you and what I thought was right." I swallowed. "I couldn't take it."

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry, Crystal."

I looked back at him and saw that he meant it. "I know. I think I – I was too focused on our relationship and how to make it work. And then it wasn't working, so I cut it off. I forgot to consider how you were feeling. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be there for you, no matter what happens or whatever you do. I-" I took a deep breath. "I love you, Draco."

A look of surprise crossed Draco's face, but then it lit up in a smile. "Really?" he asked with a hint of disbelief.

I could not help but smile back at him. "Yes. It took a lot for me to figure it out, but it's true."

Draco was not usually speechless, but I could tell that he did not know what to say. He just continued to stare at me in amazement. Sadly, I wondered how many people he had in his life who truly loved him.

"I want to focus on love," I said. "I think it might be what we've been missing. I don't know what's going to happen either, but if we're going to survive it, we have to stick together."

"I meant what I said when I told you my loyalties lie with you," Draco said softly as he stepped closer. He cupped my face and stared into my eyes. "And I meant what I said about running away with you. I would do it now if I could. The future it too uncertain..."

"I know," I said sympathetically. "Can we promise to be open and honest with each other? I'll tell you if there's something that's bothering me, but you need to tell me what's going on with you. Let me help you with your problems. And if I can't do that, at least let me share your pain."

"As long as you let me share yours," Draco breathed.

I smiled. "Of course." I wrapped my arms around my neck and gazed at him warmly. I did not have the same assuredness I had in the past that everything would be fine, but I knew we could work through it. We could make it if we put in effort.

"I missed you," Draco whispered. "Don't leave me again. It hurts when you're gone."

His sincerity and honesty caused me to smile sympathetically; I bet it was hard for him to admit his weakness. "I won't leave you," I said just as quietly. "I never wanted to." If what everyone was saying about love was true, then there was something stronger between us now. Something permanent. I would look out for him, and he would look out for me too.

As Draco kissed me, it felt like life was flooding back into me. I knew there was nowhere else I would rather be. 


	35. OWLS

Lunch had already been in progress for awhile when Draco and I entered. We paused by the door. I saw Draco glance at the Gryffindor table. I frowned slightly. "Can't go there," I whispered. It was kind of unfair that I was welcome with the Slytherins but he could not join me in Gryffindor. I supposed it was his own fault, though.

Draco merely nodded and headed to the Slytherin table with me in tow. I wondered how the Slytherins would react after my absence. They gave me suspicious looks as I sat down next to Draco.

"What are you doing here?" Blaise asked with narrow eyes.

"Yeah, I thought you didn't like us anymore," Vincent said, almost sadly.

I frowned. "Is that what he told you?" I shot Draco an accusing look, and he smiled sheepishly. I rolled my eyes. "Sorry, guys. I just needed a break. I had a lot going on. Everything's good now." I held up my Slytherin pendant to prove it to them.

When some of them still mumbled in dissent, Draco put his arm around me and said, "I don't care if you approve. She's with me and you will be civil to her." He glared at anyone who looked like they might object.

I smiled to myself. He did not care what they thought anymore. That was what I had wanted from the beginning. It felt good to have him defend me.

***

That week, teachers stopped presenting new material and instead reviewed for our OWLS the next week. OWLS would take place over a two week period with the written portion taking place in the morning and the practical in the afternoon. I was not worrying about them like many people were. I knew I do fine.

That Monday, I had Defense Against the Dark Arts after a free period. I was wondering if I would be welcomed in the Slytherin section of the room, but I soon decided that I did not care. The school year was almost over; I wanted as many chances to be with Draco as possible.

He gave me a small smile when I sat next to him in the front, and I smiled back, feeling warm inside.

Umbridge, however, did not seem nearly as delighted about the new arrangement. As her eyes scanned the room, she stopped a second longer at our table, and I could have sworn I saw a change in her usual pleasant act. Then she was back to normal, rattling about what we needed to know for our OWLS.

I did not let her bother me. At the end of class as everyone was packing up, however, she stood over our desk and said sweetly, "Draco, dear, may I speak to you for a minute?"

He glanced at me before looking back at Umbridge and saying, "Of course, professor."

I reluctantly walked out after the other students, leaving him behind. I decided to wait for him outside of the classroom. It might have been a bad idea because Umbridge could have been mad if she saw me there, but I wanted to know what all of this was about.

I did not have to wait long. Soon Draco walked out of the room, trying to hide a rather annoyed look. He stopped in surprise when he saw me. "Crystal," he breathed. "We should get out of here."

"Why?" I asked cautiously. "What did Umbridge say?"

"She didn't like seeing me with you," he said, not hiding his scowl now as we walked down the hall together. "I shouldn't be hanging out with trouble makers."

I rolled my eyes. "I see. What did you see?"

A smirk twitched on Draco's face. "I told her I was reforming you. I said you need a good influence in your life."

I laughed, amused at the irony. "Think that would work on your father? My parents didn't buy it."

Draco chuckled. "No, I don't suppose it would."

Despite the circumstances, I felt light as we walked together. He put his arm around me, and I leaned into him slightly, loving the feeling of just being near him. I wished it would not have to end.

***

I stayed close to Draco in all the rest of my classes that week. We had Potions on Thursday morning. I was curious as to what Snape's reaction would be to my new situation. Like always, his face was hard to read. However, I did lock eyes with him for a second at the end of class; he had looked away right after as if nothing had happened. This was enough for me.

I was again wondering about his interest in my relationship as I left for lunch with Draco. He had said he would help me out with Potions the next couple of years. Perhaps that would be a chance for me to carefully delve into his history. He already seemed to like him, which was the biggest barrier. I would figure something out. Somehow, I felt like it was important.

On Friday, Draco and I both had a free period in the afternoon. It was good to be done with the week early so we could begin studying. We sat outside in the grass, leaning against a large tree with our books in our laps. Snowflake was out with us, lying between us, enjoying the sun.

"Meow."

I glanced at Snowflake when I heard his voice. He had stood up and was running forward. I frowned until I saw Luna walking towards us.

"Hello," Luna said to Snowflake, bending down to pet him. The cat rubbed his head against her hand and purred.

"Hey, Luna," I said with a smile. I had not talked to her in awhile. "This is Snowflake."

"Hello, Crystal," Luna said. "Draco."

Draco glanced up from his book at Luna and nodded curtly. Then he returned to his reading.

"He's very pretty," Luna said as she stroked Snowflake's back. "Is he yours?"

I nodded. "He was a gift from Draco."

"Oh, that's nice," Luna said brightly. She looked from me to Draco and back. "You two are together again."

I gave her a small smile. "Yep. Is there any boy you have your eye on?"

Luna stood up. "Not presently." She glanced at my book. "Are you studying for your OWLS?"

"Yeah. It's not fun." I made a face.

"Then you should let us take a break," Draco said, looking at me with a small smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "You know what happens then." We had decided to study outside because we thought it would be less tempting to get... distracted... if we were out in public where everyone could see us.

Draco grinned at me. "Exactly."

"Well, I'll let you two get back to work. Goodbye."

"Bye, Luna," I said, nodding at her. As she walked off, Snowflake settled down in front of me. I noticed that Draco was still staring at me. I blinked. "What?" It was the way he was gazing at me that struck me. It was the away in which suggested that he would have been perfectly content sitting there looking at me for the rest of his life. At the same time, there was almost the impression that he did not know if this would be the last time he would get to see me.

"The year is almost over," he murmured. He leaned closer to me and brushed my hair back; he kept his hand on my face. "We can't risk the summer."

I found myself caught staring into his beautiful blue eyes. "The summer isn't that long. We can make it."

He held onto my left hand with his free right one as he continued to gaze at me. "I want to stare here with you and forget everything else."

I smiled at him fondly. That would be nice, indeed. "I love you."

"I _adore_ you," he countered. Then he kissed me, and I felt myself melt into him.

It was so peaceful and perfect; I never want it to end. Eventually, though, my reason got the better of me, and I pulled away reluctantly. "We have to study," I whispered.

Draco seemed like he was going to protest, but then he nodded. "Alright. We've gotta pass to stay in school."

***

OWLS were on me sooner than I knew it. My first one was Charms on Monday. After breakfast, all the fifth and seventh year students piled into the Great Hall, where the house tables had been turned into one long table. Professor McGonagall was facing us. When we were all seated, she said, "You may begin."

I was never nervous for exams. What was the point? I either knew the material or I didn't. There was no use fretting about it. Anyway, I felt I did well on this test. It took two hours. After turning in my paper, I found Draco and walked out with him. "How do you think that went?" I asked in a low voice.

Draco just shrugged. "Fine. The second part will be a bit more fun though."

I smiled slightly. Yes, using magic was better than answering questions about it. The practical exam was after lunch. We all waited outside the Great Hall until we were called.

This part I thought went well too. It helped that I was able to remain calm and think clearly. At the end, though, I was glad it was over. Now I could focus on the next day's tests: Transfiguration.

I did reasonably well at Transfiguration and Herbology. Thursday's Defense Against the Dark Arts exams, however, I was sure I excelled. I would have to remember to thank Harry, for without him, I would not have retained much information from the past two years due to my dislike of the teachers.

I had a day off on Friday, so of course I spent it with Draco. We found our way into the Room of Requirement for privacy (the school was getting a bit crazy with test-mania). I helped him study for our Potions exam on Monday, but then we both decided we needed a break to relax.

"It's almost murmured," Draco murmured into my ear. We were sitting on the couch with our arms around each other and my head resting against his chest.

"Yeah," I said with a light smile. There was a strange paradox, though. I wanted the tests to be over, but once they were, I would have to leave Draco. It gave me an odd feeling of discomfort, but there was nothing I could do about it, so I just ignored it.

As expected, I felt I did wonderfully on my Potions exams. I was certain I would be making it into Snape's class the next year. Care of Magical Creatures was the next day, which was okay. I had two exams on Wednesday: Astronomy and Arithmancy with Hermione. The Astronomy practical exam was late at night.

I rather enjoyed Astronomy. It was fun to look up at the stars and see how they fit into constellations. When the exam had almost finished, there was a lot BANG heard from below on the grounds. Alarmed, I positioned my telescope to see what was going on.

The commotion was coming from Hagrid's cabin. Hagrid had burst upon the door, and he was surrounded by six people, who appeared to be trying to stun him.

"No!"Hermione cried.

"My dear!" Professor Tofty said in a scandalized voice. "This is an examination!"

No one was listening to her. I did not know Hagrid well, but he seemed like a nice guy. I watched in dismay as he tried to fight off his attackers. This wasn't right. "Be reasonable, Hagrid!" someone yelled.

"Reasonable be damned, yeh won' take me like this, Dawlish!" Hagrid roared.

"Look!" squealed Parvati, who was leaning over the parapet and pointing to the foot of the castle where the front doors had opened again; more light was spilling out on to the dark lawn and a single long black shadow was now rippling across the lawn.

"Now, really!" Professor Tofty said anxiously. "Only sixteen minutes left, you know!"

Everyone ignored her. "How dare you!" the figure shouted as she ran. "How dare you!"

"It's McGonagall!" Hermione whispered.

"Leave him alone! Alone, I say!" said Professor McGonagall's voice through the darkness. "On what grounds are you attacking him? He has done nothing, nothing to warrant such-"

Hermione, Parvati and Lavender all screamed. McGonagall had been attacked by at least four stunners. She fell over, landed hard on her back, and did not move anymore. I was in complete shock. This had to be Umbridge's doing. What else could explain such a monstrosity? I swallowed hard; maybe I did want the year to be over after all.

"Galloping gargoyles!" shouted Professor Tofty, who also seemed to have forgotten the exam completely. "Not so much as a warning! Outrageous behavior!"

"COWARDS!" Hagrid bellowed. "RUDDY COWARDS! HAVE SOME O' THAT-- AN' THAT--"

"Oh my--" Hermione gasped.

Hagrid was fighting off his attackers, and he was quite successful. 'Get him, get him!' Umbridge screamed, but all of her attackers had been subdued. Then Hagrid turned and ran into the darkness.

There was a long minute's quivering silence as everybody gazed open-mouthed into the grounds. Then Professor Tofty's voice said feebly, "Um ... five minutes to go, everybody."

I quickly finished my star chart and handed it in. No one was going to bed; everyone was hanging out in the corridor, talking about what they had just witnessed. I listened attentively, but I did not offer my own input. There was evil afoot, and I was wondering if it would be submerged before the year was through. 


	36. Escape

The final exam, History of Magic, was on Thursday afternoon. This was by far the hardest test. It looked like it would take me the entire time. When I was almost finished, however, I heard someone in the room scream.

I turned my head in alarm to see that it had been Harry. He was on the ground. Professor Tofty helped him up and led him to the Entrance Hall. I immediately returned to my exam. I needed to finish, and I could check on Harry later.

Alas, I could not find Harry once the bell rang, nor could I catch up with Hermione and Ron, who were, with no doubt, searching for him. I decided to roam the halls and release the tension the exams had given me. I smiled when I saw Ginny and Luna walking together. "Hey, guys," I said brightly. "What's going on?"

Before either of them could reply, I heard shouting coming from a nearby classroom, and the voice sounded a lot like Harry's: "WELL, I EXPECT HE'D SAY SOMETHING DIFFERENT IF HE KNEW WHAT I'D JUST-"

I exchanged a look with my friends. Without a word, we made our way into the classroom where we found a very angry-looking Harry standing in front of Ron and Hermione. I had a troubling feeling this was about his outburst during our last OWL exam.

"Hi," Ginny said uncertainly. "We recognized Harry's voice. What are you yelling about?"

"Never you mind," Harry said roughly.

Ginny raised her eyebrows. "There's no need to take that tone with me," she said coolly, "I was only wondering whether I could help."

"Well, you can't," Harry said shortly.

"You're being rather rude, you know," Luna said serenely.

Harry swore and turned away.

I frowned but my look was sympathetic. "What's wrong, harry?" I asked softly.

He did not respond.

"Wait," Hermione said suddenly. "Wait ... Harry, they can help. Listen, Harry, we need to establish whether Sirius really has left Headquarters."

"I've told you, I saw--" Harry started to say.

"Harry, I'm begging you, please!" Hermione said desperately. "Please let's just check that Sirius isn't at home before we go charging off to London. If we find out he's not there, then I swear I won't try to stop you. I'll come, I'll d--do whatever it takes to try and save him."

"Sirius is being tortured NOW!" Harry shouted. "We haven't got time to waste."

"But if this is a trick of Voldemort's, Harry, we've got to check, we've got to."

"How?" Harry demanded. "How're we going to check?"

"We'll have to use Umbridge's fire and see if we can contact him. We'll draw Umbridge away again, but we'll need lookouts, and that's where we can use Ginny, Luna, and Crystal."

Even though I was struggling to understand what they were talking about (Sirius seemed to be in trouble), I said immediately, "Yeah, we'll do it," and Luna said, "When you say "Sirius", are you talking about Stubby Boardman?"

"OK," Harry said aggressively to Hermione, "OK, if you can think of a way of doing this quickly, I'm with you, otherwise I'm going to the Department of Mysteries right now."

"The Department of Mysteries?" Luna said, looking mildly surprised. "But how are you going to get there?"

"Right," Hermione said, twisting her hands together and pacing up and down between the desks. "Right ... well ... one of us has to go and find Umbridge and--and send her off in the wrong direction, keep her away from her office. They could tell her--I don't know--that Peeves is up to something awful as usual ..."

"I'll do it," Ron said at once. "I'll tell her Peeves is smashing up the Transfiguration department or something, it's miles away from her office. Come to think of it, I could probably persuade Peeves to do it if I met him on the way."

"OK," she said, her brow furrowed as she continued to pace. "Now, we need to keep students right away from her office while we force entry, or some Slytherin's bound to go and tip her off."

Ron shot me a quick glance, and I looked away.

"Luna and I can stand at either end of the corridor," said Ginny promptly, "and warn people not to go down there because someone's let off a load of Garrotting Gas. Crystal can help too." Hermione looked surprised at the readiness with which Ginny had come up with this lie; Ginny shrugged and said, "Fred and George were planning to do it before they left."

"OK," said Hermione. "Well then, Harry, you and I will be under the Invisibility Cloak and we'll sneak into the office and you can talk to Sirius--"

"He's not there, Hermione!"

"I mean, you can --can check whether Sirius is at home or not while I keep watch, I don't think you should be in there alone, Lee's already proved the windows a weak spot, sending those Nifflers through it."

"I ... OK, thanks," he muttered.

"Right, well, even if we do all of that, I don't think we're going to be able to bank on more than five minutes," said Hermione, looking relieved that Harry seemed to have accepted the plan, "not with Filch and the wretched Inquisitorial Squad floating around."

"Five minutes'll be enough," said Harry "C'mon, let's go--"

"Now?" Hermione said, looking shocked.

"Of course now!" said Harry angrily. "What did you think, we're going to wait until after dinner or something? Hermione, Sirius is being tortured right now!"

"I--oh, all right," she said desperately. "You go and get the Invisibility Cloak and we'll meet you at the end of Umbridge's corridor, OK?"

Harry turned and fled the room without responding.

Hermione sighed and turned to Ginny, Luna and me. "You three, we need a signal in case you see someone coming. How about a chorus of 'Weasley Is Our King?'"

"Ok," I said with a nod.

"Let's go," Ginny said. She glanced at me. "You can stand with me."

The four groups split up. Once we reached the end of the corridor, we stood with our arms crossed, appearing on guard.

"You can't come down here!" Ginny called to the crowd that was appearing. "No, sorry, you're going to have to go round by the swiveling staircase, someone's let off Garrotting Gas just along here-"

"I can't see no gas," someone said.

"That's because it's colorless," said Ginny in a convincingly exasperated voice, "but if you want to walk through it, carry on, then we'll have your body as proof for the next idiot who doesn't believe us."

Soon, everyone had gone, and Ginny and I were left to wait. We stood in silence.

Just when I thought all was quiet, I saw something I thought was going to make my heart stop. The Inquisitorial Squad, led by Draco, was running towards us, and they did not look happy. "Crap," I muttered. This was not good. Ginny tensed beside me.

The Squad skidded to a halt in front of us. Draco seemed surprised to see me. "Crystal," he said, "what's going on? Someone broke into Umbridge's office. You're not a part of this, are you?" His eyes narrowed slightly.

"You can't go through," Ginny said firmly.

"Then we'll fight our way through," Draco said thickly.

"No!" I said at once. I ignored the surprised look Ginny gave me. "I-I mean, if you want to take us, I'll go quietly."

Draco stared at me for a long while. Finally, he nodded. Turning to the others, he said, "Millicent, come with me! The rest of you, take care of Weasley."

I cast Ginny an apologetic look. She could not understand. I refused to fight Draco. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me along the corridor. At the other end, Luna was getting in a tussle with more Slytherins. I could see Umbridge disappearing into her office; she must have broken through Luna. Draco opened Umbridge's door, and we entered.

Umbridge glanced at him and smiled. Draco pulled me over to the window sill; he did not let go of my wrist. Millicent pushed Hermione up against a wall, and Umbridge pulled Harry out of the fireplace. She looked like she was going to strangle him. She whispered something to him I could not understand. I glanced at Draco. He frowned at me before letting go of my wrist.

"Take his wand," Umbridge barked, tossing the wand at Draco, who caught it. She looked at Hermione and Millicent. "Hers too." Millicent snatched my friend's wand from her. Umbridge looked at me in surprise. "What's she doing here? Was she misbehaving too?"

"Yes, but I'm not resisting," I said quickly before Draco could not respond. "Civil disobedience. It's a long-established Anglo-American tradition."

Umbridge looked at me oddly. "Well, you might want to hold her just in case."

Draco grinned broadly. After putting Harry's wand in his robes, he stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around me from behind. I did not struggle; he was not holding me tightly.

Hermione cast me a furtive glance, and I looked away.

"I want to know why you are in my office," Umbridge said.

"I was--trying to get my Firebolt!" Harry croaked.

"Liar. Your Firebolt is under strict guard in the dungeons, as you very well know, Potter. You had your head in my fire. With whom have you been communicating?"

"No one," Harry said, trying to pull away from her.

There was a commotion outside and several large Slytherins entered, each gripping Ron, Ginny, Luna and Neville, who was trapped in a stranglehold by Vincent and looked in imminent danger of suffocation. All four of them had been gagged. When Ron noticed me, he shot me a nasty glare. I bit my lip and looked down.

"Got 'em all," said Warrington, shoving Ron roughly forwards into the room. "That one," he poked a thick finger at Neville, "tried to stop me taking her," he pointed at Ginny, who was trying to kick the shins of the large Slytherin girl holding her, "so I brought him along too."

"Good, good," said Umbridge, watching Ginny's struggles. "Well, it looks as though Hogwarts will shortly be a Weasley-free zone, doesn't it?"

I tensed at the implication, and I felt Draco's arms tighten around me. I moved my head so that I could look at him. My glance was almost sad; I made sure to show no judgment or anger, just acceptance and disappointment. He seemed to become uncomfortable, and he turned his head away, frowning.

Umbridge smiled at Ginny before sitting in a chair. "So, Potter," she said, "You stationed lookouts around my office and you sent this buffoon," she nodded at Ron- "to tell me the poltergeist was wreaking havoc in the Transfiguration department when I knew perfectly well that he was busy smearing ink on the eyepieces of all the school telescopes-- Mr. Filch having just informed me so.

"Clearly, it was very important for you to talk to somebody. Was it Albus Dumbledore? Or the half-breed, Hagrid? I doubt it was Minerva McGonagall, I hear she is still too ill to talk to anyone."

Some of the Inquisitorial members laughed at that, though Draco remained silent.

"It's none of your business who I talk to," Harry snarled. He appeared to be shaking with rage.

Umbridge's face tightened. "Very well," she said in her most dangerous and falsely sweet voice. "Very well, Mr. Potter ... I offered you the chance to tell me freely. You refused. I have no alternative but to force you. Draco-- fetch Professor Snape, and bring the girl so someone has a hold on her."

Right after releasing me, Draco took hold of my wrist again and pulled me out of the room. We were silent as we walked to Snape's office. He knocked once on the door. Without even waiting for a reply, he barged in and said, "Umbridge needs to see you."

Snape raised his eyebrows at Draco. Then he looked at me. "I see," he said.

"Harry did it!" I said immediately.

Snape did not reply. He stood up and followed us out the door, and then he took the lead down the hall.

"You don't have to follow Potter's crazy schemes," Draco whispered as we walked.

"And you don't have to be a part of Umbridge's," I replied, though there was no malice in my voice.

Draco looked forward again and did not respond.

Snape let Draco and I enter the room first. Once inside, Draco pulled me back to the window and securely wrapped his arms around me like he had before.

"You wanted to see me, Headmistress?" Snape said.

"Ah, Professor Snape," Umbridge said, smiling widely and standing up again. 'Yes, I would like another bottle of Veritaserum, as quick as you can, please."

"You took my last bottle to interrogate Potter," he said, surveying her coolly. "Surely you did not use it all? I told you that three drops would be sufficient."

Umbridge flushed. "You can make some more, can't you?"

"Certainly," said Snape, his lip curling. "It takes a full moon-cycle to mature, so I should have it ready for you in around a month."

"A month?" Umbridge squawked, swelling toadishly. "A month! But I need it this evening, Snape! I have just found Potter using my fire to communicate with a person or persons unknown!"

"Really?" Snape said as he looked round at Harry. "Well, it doesn't surprise me. Potter has never shown much inclination to follow school rules."

"I wish to interrogate him!" Umbridge repeated angrily, and Snape looked away from Harry back into her furiously quivering lace. "I wish you to provide me with a potion that will force him to tell me the truth!"

"I have already told you," Snape said smoothly, "that I have no further stocks of Veritaserum. Unless you wish to poison Potter--and I assure you I would have the greatest sympathy with you if you did--I cannot help you. The only trouble is that most venoms act too fast to give the victim much time for truth-telling."

"You are on probation!" Umbridge shrieked, and Snape looked back at her, his eyebrows slightly raised. "You are being deliberately unhelpful! I expected better, Lucius Malfoy always speaks most highly of you! Now get out of my office!"

Snape gave her an ironic bow and turned to leave.

"He's got Padfoot!" Harry shouted. "He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden!"

Snape stopped with his hand on Umbridge's door handle.

"Padfoot?" Umbridge cried, looking eagerly from Harry to Snape. "What is Padfoot? Where what is hidden? What does he mean, Snape?"

Snape looked round at Harry. "I have no idea," he said coldly. "Potter, when I want nonsense shouted at me I shall give you a Babbling Beverage. And Crabbe, loosen your hold a little. If Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork and I am afraid I shall have to mention it on your reference if ever you apply for a job." He closed the door behind him with a snap.

Umbridge's chest was heaving with rage and frustration. 'Very well," she said, and she pulled out her wand. "Very well ... I am left with no alternative ... this is more than a matter of school discipline ... this is an issue of Ministry security ... yes ... yes ...

"You are forcing me, Potter ... I do not want to, but sometimes circumstances justify the use ... I am sure the Minister will understand that I had no choice ..." She paused.

"The Cruciatus Curse ought to loosen your tongue," she said quietly.

I let out a gasp, and Draco tensed in response.

"No!" Hermione shrieked. "Professor Umbridge--it's illegal."

But Umbridge took no notice. There was a nasty eager, excited look on her face that Harry had never seen before. She raised her wand.

"The Minister wouldn't want you to break the law, Professor Umbridge!" Hermione cried.

"What Cornelius doesn't know won't hurt him," Umbridge said, who was now panting slightly as she pointed her wand at different parts of Harry's body in turn, apparently trying to decide where it would hurt most. "He never knew I ordered dementors to go after Potter last summer, but he was delighted to be given the chance to expel him, all the same."

"It was you?" gasped Harry. "You sent the dementors after me."

"Somebody had to act," Umbridge breathed as her wand came to rest pointing directly at Harry's forehead." They were all bleating about silencing you somehow--discrediting you --but I was the one who actually did something about it ... only you wriggled out of that one, didn't you, Potter? Not today though, not now--' And taking a deep breath, she cried, 'Cruc-"

I tried to twist around in Draco's arms, but I could not break away.

"NO!" Hermione shouted in a cracked voice from behind Millicent. "No--Harry-- we'll have to tell her!"

"No way!" Harry yelled.

"We'll have to, Harry, she'll force it out of you anyway, what's ... what's the point?" Hermione began to cry weakly into the back of Millicent's robes. Millicent stopped trying to squash her against the wall immediately and dodged out of her way, looking disgusted.

"Well, well, well!" Umbridge said, looking triumphant. "Little Miss Question-all is going to give us some answers! Come on then, girl, come on!"

"Er--my--nee—no!" Ron shouted through his gag.

"I'm--I'm sorry everyone," Hermione said. "But--I can't stand it-"

"That's right, that's right, girl!" Umbridge said, seizing Hermione by the shoulders, thrusting her into the abandoned chintz chair, and leaning over her. "Now then ... with whom was Potter communicating just now?"

"Well," Hermione gulped into her hands, "well, he was trying to speak to Professor Dumbledore."

My mouth fell partly open at this. What?

"Dumbledore?" Umbridge said eagerly. "You know where Dumbledore is, then?"

"Well ... no!" sobbed Hermione. "We've tried the Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley and the Three Broomsticks and even the Hog's Head-"

"Idiot girl-- Dumbledore won't be sitting in a pub when the whole Ministry's looking for him!" Umbridge shouted, disappointment etched in every sagging line of her face.

"But--but we needed to tell him something important!" Hermione wailed, holding her hands more tightly over her face.

"Yes?" Umbridge said with a sudden resurgence of excitement. "What was it you wanted to tell him?"

"We ... we wanted to tell him it's r--ready!" Hermione choked.

"What's ready?" Umbridge demanded, and now she grabbed Hermione's shoulders again and shook her slightly. "What's ready, girl?"

"The ... the weapon," Hermione said.

It was then I understood what she was trying to do. She was leading Umbridge astray. I tried to act like I believed she was telling the truth.

"Weapon? Weapon?" Umbridge said, and her eyes seemed to pop with excitement. "You have been developing some method of resistance? A weapon you could use against the Ministry? On Professor Dumbledore's orders, of course?"

"Y--y--yes," Hermione gasped, "but he had to leave before it was finished and n--n--now we've finished it for him, and we c--c--can't find him t--t--to tell him!"

"What kind of weapon is it?" Umbridge said harshly, her stubby hands still tight on Hermione's shoulders.

"We don't r--r-- really understand it," Hermione said, sniffing loudly. "We j--j--just did what P--P--Professor Dumbledore told us t--t--to do."

Umbridge straightened up, looking exultant. "Lead me to the weapon."

"I'm not showing ... them," Hermione shrilly said, looking around at the Slytherins through her fingers.

"It is not for you to set conditions," Umbridge said harshly.

"Fine,: Hermione said, now sobbing into her hands again. "Fine ... let them see it, I hope they use it on you! In fact, I wish you'd invite loads and loads of people to come and see! Th--that would serve you right--oh, I'd love it if the wh-- whole school knew where it was, and how to u--use it, and then if you annoy any of them they'll, be able to s--sort you out!"

These words had a powerful impact on Umbridge: she glanced swiftly and suspiciously around at her Inquisitorial Squad. She contemplated Hermione for another long moment, and then spoke in what she clearly thought was a motherly voice. "All right, dear, let's make it just you and me ... and we'll take Potter, too, shall we? Get up, now." She turned to Draco. "You will remain here until I return and make sure none of these-" she gestured around at Ron, Ginny, Neville, Luna, and m "--escape." She turned back to Hermione and Harry. "And you two can go ahead of me and show me the way." She pointed at them with her wand. "Lead on."

There was silence in the room after they left. Ginny's eyes caught mine. She seemed to be trying to tell me something. I glanced down at her hand, which was slowly inching into her robes. Then it struck me. Umbridge had forgotten to confiscate our wands. Ginny raised her eyes to look at Draco. This too I understood. She did not want to have to force me to fight him. I gave a slight nod, smiling gratefully.

I made sure enough time had passed so that Umbridge would be far away, and then I said in a steady voice, "Draco, can I talk to you?"

"You're talking to me right now," Draco said in an uninterruptable tone.

"Alone," I said. "Out in the corridor. Now. Please."

Draco seemed to hesitate.

"Don't listen to her!" Millicent hissed. "It's a trick!"

"I would never trick him!" I said, glaring at her.

"Fine," Draco said reluctantly. He released me and took hold of my wrist again. Millicent watched me with narrowed eyes as we left the room. As soon as we were in the corridor, a loud bang was heard in the room. Draco let go of me and turned on my in alarm. "What's going on? You said-"

"It's not a trick," I said quickly. "I only saved you from an attack that was coming anyway. And I do need to talk to you."

Draco crossed his arms. "What?" he asked gruffly, his eyes tight.

"Let us go – let me go," I said, looking at him pleadingly. "Hermione made all that stuff up about a weapon. There's something important we need to do that has nothing to do with Dumbledore."

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you. Just trust me. I wouldn't ask this of you if it weren't very important." I gazed at him sorrowfully, hoping against everything that he would agree.

He was staring at me with narrowed eyes. "You shouldn't be doing this," he said thickly. "The year is just about over. Can't you stay out of trouble until then?"

"It's an emergency!" I cried. "Someone's in danger. Please – give me Harry's wand."

Draco's expression seemed to soften. Then he let out a heavy sigh. "I don't know, Crystal. If Umbridge found out..."

I was running out of time; I needed to act quickly. I altered my expression to one of compassion as I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Draco," I whispered. I pulled his head down and gave him a long kiss. "I love you, but I have to do this."

As our eyes were locked, I saw him slowly move his hand in his robes. Without saying a word, he handed me Harry's wand.

After taking the wand and depositing it in my own robes, I smiled at him softly while backing away. "Thank you, Draco. I'm proud of you. You should go."

Draco nodded. He turned and stalked down the corridor.

Just then, Umbridge's door opened, and my previously-captured friends piled out. "We won!" Neville said, looking happy.

"Where's Draco going?" Luna asked.

"Probably back to his common room," I said. I smiled. "He let me go. He gave me Harry's wand and he let me go without a fight."

Ron seemed surprised at this. "How did you pull that off?"

I shrugged. "He responds to love, not condemnation." Ron frowned and looked down. "Now, we better go find Harry and Hermione before they leave without us!"

"Right," Ginny said with a nod. "Onward!" She led the way to the castle doors. 


	37. The Ministry of Magic

Out the window, we saw Harry, Hermione, and Umbridge heading into the Forbidden Forest. We decided we best follow. Soon, we could spot Hermione and Harry through the trees.

"Anyway, Harry," Hermione was saying, "how exactly were you planning to get all the way to London?"

"Yeah, we were just wondering that," Ron said as we emerged into view. "So, had any ideas?"

"How did you get away?" Harry asked in amazement.

"Couple of Stunners, a Disarming Charm, Neville brought off a really nice little Impediment Jinx," Ron said airily, handing back Hermione's wand.

Hermione glanced at me. "You look like you haven't been touched."

"Draco let me go without a fight," I said with a shrug. I turned to Harry. "Oh, and he willing gave me this back." I handed him his wand.

Harry blinked as he took his wand. "He just gave it to you?"

"Well, I had to persuade him a bit," I said. "Force should be used only when necessary."

"She's got a strange power," Ron said, shaking his head. "Anyway, we saw you out of the window heading into the Forest and followed. What've you done with Umbridge?"

"She got carried away," Harry said. "By a herd of centaurs."

"And they left you behind?" Ginny asked, looking astonished.

"No, they got chased off by Grawp," Harry said.

"Who's Grawp?" Luna asked interestedly.

"Hagrid's little brother," Ron said promptly. "Anyway, never mind that now. Harry, what did you find out in the fire? Has You-Know-Who got Sirius or--?"

"Yes," Harry said, "and I'm sure Sirius is still alive, but I can't see how we're going to get there to help him."

"Well, we'll have to fly, won't we?" Luna said.

"OK," Harry said irritably, rounding on her. "First of all, 'we' aren't doing anything if you're including yourself in that, and second of all, Ron's the only one with a broomstick that isn't being guarded by a security troll, so-"

"I've got a broom!" Ginny said.

"Yeah, but you're not coming," Ron said angrily.

"Excuse me, but I care what happens to Sirius as much as you do!" Ginny said.

"You're too-" Harry began, but Ginny said fiercely, "I'm three years older than you were when you fought You-Know-Who over the Sorcerer's Stone!"

  
"Yeah, but-"

"I want to fight!" I exclaimed.

"I already told you-"

"We were all in the DA together," Neville said quietly. "It was all supposed to be about fighting You-Know-Who, wasn't it? And this is the first chance we've had to do something real--or was that all just a game or something?"

"No--of course it wasn't-" Harry said impatiently.

"Then we should come too," Neville said simply. "We want to help."

"That's right," Luna said, smiling happily.

"Of course," I said firmly.

"Well, it doesn't matter, anyway," Harry said through gritted teeth, "because we still don't know how to get there-"

"I thought we'd settled that," Luna said maddeningly. "We're flying!"

"Look," Ron said, barely containing his anger, "you might be able to fly without a broomstick but the rest of us can't sprout wings whenever we-"

"There are ways of flying other than with broomsticks," Luna said serenely.

"I s'pose we're going to ride on the back of the Kacky Snorgle or whatever it is?" Ron demanded.

"The Crumple-Horned Snorkack can't fly," Luna said in a dignified voice, "but _they_ can, and Hagrid says they're very good at finding places their riders are looking for."

Harry turned around, but I could not see anything of notice. There were only trees and darkness. "Yes," Harry whispered as he walked forward. Then, to my further surprise, he raised his hand and began to stroke the air.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Is it those mad horse things?" Ron said uncertainly. "Those ones you can't see unless you've watched someone snuff it?"

"Yeah," Harry said.

"They pull the carriages to Hogwarts," Luna explained to me.

"How many?" Ron asked Harry.

"Just two."

"Well, we need three," Hermione said.

"Four, Hermione," Ginny said, scowling.

"There are seven of us, actually," I said, determined not to be left out of an exciting adventure.

"Don't be stupid, we can't all go!" Harry said angrily. "Look, you four-" he pointed at Neville, Ginny, Luna and me, "you're not involved in this, you're not-"

We immediately began to protest again. How could Harry not see that we were in this together? Why did he always insist on doing everything alone?

"OK, fine, it's your choice," Harry said curtly, "but unless we can find more Thestrals you're not going to be able-"

"Oh, more of them will come," Ginny said confidently.

"What makes you think that?"

"Because, in case you hadn't noticed, you and Hermione are both covered in blood," she said coolly, "and we know Hagrid lures Thestrals with raw meat. That's probably why these two turned up in the first place."

"OK, then," he said, "Ron and I will take these two and go ahead, and Hermione can stay here with you three and she'll attract more Thestrals-"

'I'm not staying behind!' Hermione said furiously.

"There's no need," Luna said, smiling. "Look, here come more now ... you two must really smell ..."

Harry turned seeming to be looking at something. "All right," he said angrily, "pick one and get on, then."

I stared at him oddly. How were we supposed to do that? We couldn't see the things! Harry seemed to be climbing onto one of them. It looked really strange, actually, for it appeared that he was floating on air. Luna and Neville were successful as well. The rest of us, however, stood back, staring at them. What were we to do? We had no idea where the creatures were.

"What?" Harry said, obviously oblivious to our peril.

"How're we supposed to get on?" Ron said faintly. "When we can't see the things?"

"Oh, it's easy," Luna said, sliding down and marching over to us. "Come here ..." One by one, she helped us onto a Thestral. It was a really odd experience, though it was kind of cool. "Grip tightly," Luna said once we were all on an animal.

I smiled slightly as I pet my creature. This was going to be fun.

"This is mad," Ron murmured. "Mad ... if I could just see it-"

"You'd better hope it stays invisible," said Harry darkly. "We all ready, then?"

We all nodded.

"OK ... Ministry of Magic, visitors' entrance, London, then," he said uncertainly. "Er ... if you know ... where to go ..."

Then the Thestrals took off. I let out a slight gasp and held on tighter. Once we were in the air, I looked down and grinned. This was so awesome! I had almost forgotten about the impending danger that awaited us.

After awhile, I could see lights up ahead. We were reaching London. The Thestrals landed on the ground, and I had to grip tightly to keep from falling off. Ron, on the other hand, immediately tumbled off of his creature.

"Never again," he said, struggling to his feet. He made as though to stride away from his Thestral, but seemed to bump into it and almost fell over again. "Never, ever again ... that was the worst-"

"I thought it was quite fun," I said as I easily slid off my Thestral.

Ron muttered something under his breath.

"Where do we go from here, then?" Luna asked Harry once all of us had dismounted.

"Over here," he said. He led the way quickly to the battered telephone box and opened the door. "Come on!"

All of us squeezed in after Harry. It was very cramped and unpleasant. On a positive note, it was cool to be a in a real British phone booth.

"Whoever's nearest the receiver, dial six two four four two!" Harry said.

I saw Ron do it. Then a female voice sounded inside the box: "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business."

"Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger," Harry said very quickly, "Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Crystal Hansen... we're here to save someone, unless your Ministry can do it first!"

"Thank you," said the cool female voice. "Visitors, please take the badges and attach them to the front of your robes." Half a dozen badges slid out of the metal chute where returned coins normally appeared. Hermione scooped them up and handed them mutely to Harry over Ginny's head. "Visitors to the Ministry, you are required to submit to a search and present your wands for registration at the security desk, which is located at the far end of the Atrium."

"Fine!" Harry said loudly. "Now can we move?"

The phone booth began to move down under ground. It stopped when we reached an atrium. "The Ministry of Magic wishes you a pleasant evening," the woman's voice said. The door opened, and a few of us toppled out.

The whole area was completely silent, which I found odd. Harry led the way down the hall, and we sprinted after him. Soon, we got into the elevator to make it too the proper floor. When we stopped, a voice said, "Department of Mysteries."

We stepped out into the corridor. There was no one here either. Uneasiness began to fill me as I followed Harry down the corridor towards a black door. I wondered what lay within and if we had the power to fight it.

"OK, listen," Harry said, stopping within six feet of the door. "Maybe ... maybe a couple of people should stay here as a--as a lookout, and-"

"And how're we going to let you know something's coming?" Ginny asked, her eyebrows raised. "You could be miles away."

'We're coming with you, Harry," I said.

"Let's get on with it," Ron said firmly.

This time, Harry did not argue. He turned and walked towards the door. I was surprised when it swung open of its own accord. As I walked inside, I found that we were in a large, circular room. There were so many black doors all around that I wondered how we were ever going to find our way.

I tensed when Neville shut the door, extinguishing most of the light. Now it would definitely be hard to find our destination, wherever that happened to be.

The doors were surrounded by blue flames, and for a few seconds, the doors rotated before resting again. I felt a chill go down my spine. How would we get back? Harry did not worry about that. He insisted we try a few doors and he would know where to go. We reluctantly agreed to this plan.

The doors we tried were full of mysterious, suspicious things. After awhile, my excitement died down, and I was wondering if we would ever find what we were looking for. Finally, though, as Harry looked through a door, he said, "This is it. It's through here."

I immediately took out my wand; I had to be prepared for anything. Harry pushed the door open, and we all walked through. We were in a room of nothing but shelves filled with small, dusty, glass orbs. There were blue flames at several intervals. I shivered; the room was cold.  
"Keep your wands ready," Harry said softly.

I was tense as I followed him. Soon, however, I wondered why we could not hear anything. Wasn't Sirius supposed to be being tortured? We stopped at row Ninety-seven. Time for the moment of truth.

We stood grouped around the end of the row, gazing down the alley beside it. There was nobody there.

"He's right down at the end," Harry said. "You can't see properly from here.'"He led us down the row. "He should be near here. Anywhere here ... really close ..."

"Harry?" Hermione said tentatively.

"Somewhere about ... here ..." he said.

We reached the end of the row. Still, there was no one there. My uneasiness increased. Something was very wrong.

"He might be ..." Harry whispered hoarsely, peering down the next alley. 'Or maybe ...' He hurried to look down the one beyond that.

"Harry?" Hermione said again.

"What?" he snarled.

"I ... I don't think Sirius is here."

We all stood in silence while Harry ran back where we had come; I pondered what this could mean. Harry had said he had a dream that led him here... A dream because he was connected to Voldemort. What if...

"Harry?" Ron called, snapping me out of my thoughts. He was staring at one of the orbs on the shelf next to us.

"What?" Harry said from further down.

"Have you seen this?"

"What?" Harry turned and ran back to us.

"It's--it's got your name on," Ron said.

"My name?" Harry said blankly. He stared at the orb.

"What is it?" Ron asked after a minute. "What's your name doing down there?"

I was wondering the same thing; my intuition was telling me it was nothing good. I was beginning to form another thought. "Harry..." I said slowly. My instinct said we had to get out of there before something terrible happened.

"I'm not here," Ron said as he glanced at the other orbs. "None of the rest of us are here."

"Harry, I don't think you should touch it," said Hermione sharply he stretched out his hand.

"Why not?" he said. "It's something to do with me, isn't it?"

"Don't, Harry," Neville said suddenly.

"It's got my name on," said Harry.

"No, Harry," I said in a shaking voice. "I-I think it's a trap."

He did not listen to us and closed his fingers around the dusty orb. I waited with baited breath for something to happen. Harry lifted the ball from the shelf and stared at it. I moved closer. Harry brushed off the dust so he could see better. Nothing happen.

Then a familiar voice spoke: "Very good, Potter. Now turn around, nice and slowly, and give that to me."

A chill ran through my entire body, for the voice belong to Lucius Malfoy.


	38. Fighting

There were more. Black shapes were emerging out of thin air all around them, blocking our way left and right; eyes glinted through slits in hoods, a dozen lit wand tips were pointing directly at our hearts; Ginny gave a gasp of horror. I thought I was going to be sick.

"To me, Potter," repeated the drawling voice of Lucius Malfoy as he held out his hand, palm up. "To me."

"Where's Sirius?" Harry said.

Several of the Death Eaters laughed; a harsh female voice from the midst of the shadowy figures to Harry's left said triumphantly, "The Dark Lord always knows!"

"Always," Lucius echoed softly. "Now, give me the prophecy, Potter."

"I want to know where Sirius is!" Harry exclaimed.

"I want to know where Sirius is!" mimicked the woman to his left. She and her fellow Death Eaters had closed in so that they were mere feet away from us.

"You've got him," Harry said. "He's here. I know he is."

"The little baby woke up fwightened and fort what it dweamed was twoo," the woman said in a horrible, mock baby voice.

"Don't do anything, Harry muttered to Ron beside him. "Not yet-"

The woman who had mimicked him let out a raucous scream of laughter. "You hear him? You hear him? Giving instructions to the other children as though he thinks of fighting us!"

"Oh, you don't know Potter as I do, Bellatrix," Lucius said softly. "He has a great weakness for heroics; the Dark Lord understands this about him. Now give me the prophecy, Potter."

"I know Sirius is here," Harry said. "I know you've got him!"

More of the Death Eaters laughed, though the woman laughed loudest of all.

"It's time you learned the difference between life and dreams, Potter," Lucius said. "Now give me the prophecy, or we start using wands."

"Go on, then," Harry said, raising his own wand to chest height.

I raised my wand along with the others. There was no way we were backing down without a fight.

"Hand over the prophecy and no one need get hurt," Lucius said coolly.

"Yeah, right!" Harry said with a laugh. "I give you this--prophecy, is it? And you'll just let us skip off home, will you?"

The words were hardly out of his mouth when the female Death Eater shrieked: "Accio proph-"

Harry shouted 'Protego' before she finished her spell, and he managed to cling onto the prophecy.

"Oh, he knows how to play, little bitty baby Potter," she said, her mad eyes staring through the slits in her hood. "Very well, then-"

"I TOLD YOU, NO!" Lucius roared at the woman. "If you smash it--!"

The woman stepped forward, away from her fellows, and pulled off her hood. It was Bellatrix Lestrange's face, who had escaped from Azkaban. "You need more persuasion? Very well--take the smallest one," she ordered the Death Eaters beside her. "Let him watch while we torture the little girl. I'll do it."

The rest of us closed in around Ginny; I moved instinctively. Harry stood so that he was in front of her. "You'll have to smash this if you want to attack any of us," he told Bellatrix. "I don't think your boss will be too pleased if you come back without it, will he?"

She did not move; she merely stared at him.

"So," Harry said, "what kind of prophecy are we talking about, anyway?"

"What kind of prophecy?" Bellatrix repeated, the grin fading from her face. "You jest, Harry Potter."

"Nope, not jesting," Harry said. "How come Voldemort wants it?"

Several of the Death Eaters let out low hisses.

"You dare speak his name?" Bellatrix whispered.

"Yeah," Harry said. "Yeah, I've got no problem with saying Vol-"

"Shut your mouth!" Bellatrix shrieked. "You dare speak his name with your unworthy lips, you dare besmirch it with your half-blood's tongue, you dare-"

"Did you know he's a half-blood too?" Harry said. "Voldemort? Yeah, his mother was a witch but his dad was a Muggle--or has he been telling you lot he's pure-blood?"

"STUPEF-"

"NO!"

A jet of red light had shot from the end of Bellatrix Lestrange's wand, but Lucius had deflected it; his spell caused hers to hit the shelf a foot to the left of us. and several of the glass orbs there shattered. Two figures, pearly-white as ghosts, fluid as smoke, unfurled themselves from the fragments of broken glass upon the floor and each began to speak; their voices vied with each other, so that only fragments of what they were saying could be heard over Lucius and Bellatrix's shouts.

"You haven't told me what's so special about this prophecy I'm supposed to be handing over," Harry said once the voices had died down.

"Do not play games with us, Potter," Lucius said.

"I'm not playing games," Harry said.

"Dumbledore never told you the reason you bear that scar was hidden in the bowels of the Department of Mysteries?" Lucius sneered.

"What about my scar?"

"Can this be?" Lucius said, sounding maliciously delighted; some of the Death Eaters were laughing again. "Dumbledore never told you? Well, this explains why you didn't come earlier, Potter, the Dark Lord wondered why you didn't come running when he showed you the place where it was hidden in your dreams. He thought natural curiosity would make you want to hear the exact wording ..."

"Did he?" Harry said. "So he wanted me to come and get it, did he? Why?"

"Why?" Lucius sounded incredulously delighted. "Because the only people who are permitted to retrieve a prophecy from the Department of Mysteries, Potter, are those about whom it was made, as the Dark Lord discovered when he attempted to use others to steal it for him."

"And why did he want to steal a prophecy about me?"

"About both of you, Potter, about both of you ... haven't you ever wondered why the Dark Lord tried to kill you as a baby?"

"Someone made a prophecy about Voldemort and me?" he said quietly. "And he's made me come and get it for him? Why couldn't he come and get it himself?"

"Get it himself?" Bellatrix' shrieked over a cackle of mad laughter.

I suddenly heard Ginny's voice in my ear: "When Harry says now, start smashing shelves."

I did not respond, figuring that was the best way to go. I was at the back of the group, so I did not have to pass the message along. I felt strong, ready to fight.

"The Dark Lord, walk into the Ministry of Magic, when they are so sweetly ignoring his return?" said Bellatrix. "The Dark Lord, reveal himself to the Aurors, when at the moment they are wasting their time on my dear cousin?"

"So, he's got you doing his dirty work for him, has he?" Harry said. "Like he tried to get Sturgis to steal it--and Bode?"

"Very good, Potter, very good ..." Lucius said slowly. "But the Dark Lord knows you are not unintell-"

"NOW!" Harry yelled.

The six of us raised our wands and shouted, "REDUCTO!" Five curses flew in five different directions and the shelves opposite them exploded as they hit; the towering structure swayed as a hundred glass spheres burst apart, pearly-white figures unfurled into the air and floated there, their voices echoing from who knew what long-dead past amid the torrent of crashing glass and splintered wood now raining down upon the floor.

"RUN!" Harry yelled as the shelves swayed precariously and more glass spheres began to fall from above.

I jetted after him. There were Death Eaters chasing us. I kept my wand ready, just in case. Suddenly something hit me from the side, and I went sprawling into one of the rows. "Stupefy!" I said to the dark figure closing in on my. I quickly got to my feet and continued to sprint forward. In hindsight, that was probably a bad idea, for now I had lost the others.

When I got to the end of the row, I turned left, thinking this was the right way to go. I skidded to a halt when I saw Lucius Malfoy standing before me, his wand raised.

"Wait!" I cried, my heart pounding hard in my chest. I had no idea what was the right thing to do in this situation, but I did not have time to think; I could only act. I deliberately lowered my wand. "I won't fight you."

Lucius only stared at me calmly, keeping his wand held high. "Are you afraid, young Hansen?"

My mouth felt dry, and I could hear ringing in my ears; it was a wonder I was able to speak at all. "No." And I wasn't. I had been afraid of him when he had caught Draco and me the previous summer, but that fear had now vanished. At least, I was not afraid _of_ him. "I _refuse_. And it's not for your sake." I had been wearing my pendant with the Gryffindor side up, so I flipped it around and held it out to him to show him the Slytherin symbol.

Lucius' eyes flashed in surprise.

"I love him," I said firmly, gazing at him steadily. I must have been mad. I may have gotten Draco to listen to me, but why did I think this appeal would work on his colder, Death Eater father?

Lucius seemed to hesitate. Finally, he lowered his wand ever so slightly and said, "Go. Find Potter. We won't go so easy on you if we catch you without him."

I could hardly believe what I was hearing, but I had no time to reflect on it. I kept my eyes on him as I passed him. Once he was out of sight, I half expected to feel a curse on my back, but nothing came at me.

Once I got a little ways down, I dashed down a left row. I had to be close now. I was almost there. Once I exited the row, I could see a door to the right. I ran towards it as fast as I could. I almost fell over as I opened the door and slammed it shut behind me. My heart was racing as I leaned against the door.

Now I looked at my surroundings. I was back in the dark hallway. Good. I had chosen the right door. Except... No one else was there. Fear gripped me. Were the still inside the room I had left behind? Should I go back and look for them? The idea of facing the Death Eaters again was not too appealing, so I decided to wait for a few minutes to see if the others would show up.

I did not have to wait long. Soon, Harry, Hermione, and Neville emerged from a door down the hall. Neville had a broken nose, and he was supporting Hermione, who appeared hurt. "Guys!" I exclaimed. "Where were you? Where are the others?"

Harry looked at me in surprise. "They're not with you?"

Just then, the door behind me opened, and Ginny, Luna, and Ron fell out. I spun around to face them.

"Ron!" croaked Harry, dashing towards them. "Ginny--are you all--?"

"Harry," Ron said, giggling weakly, lurching forwards, seizing the front of Harry's robes and gazing at him with unfocused eyes, "there you are ... ha ha ha ... you look funny, Harry ... you're all messed up ..." Ron's face was very white and something dark was trickling from the corner of his mouth. Next moment his knees had given way, but he still clutched the front of Harry's robes, so that Harry was pulled into a kind of bow.

"Ginny?" Harry said fearfully. "What happened?"

But Ginny shook her head and slid down the wall into a sitting position, panting and holding her ankle.

"I think her ankle's broken, I heard something crack," whispered Luna, who was bending over her and who alone seemed to be unhurt. "Four of them chased us into a dark room full of planets; it was a very odd place, some of the time we were just floating in the dark-"

"Harry, we saw Uranus up close!" Ron said, still giggling feebly. "Get it, Harry? We saw Uranus--ha ha ha-"

"--anyway, one of them grabbed Ginny's foot, I used the Reductor Curse and blew up Pluto in his face, but ..." Luna gestured hopelessly at Ginny, who was breathing in a very shallow way, her eyes still closed.

"And what about Ron?" Harry said fearfully as Ron continued to giggle, still hanging off the front of Harry's robes.

"I don't know what they hit him with," Luna said sadly, "but he's gone a bit funny, I could hardly get him along at all."

"Harry," Ron said, pulling Harry's ear down to his mouth and still giggling weakly, "you know who this girl is, Harry? She's Loony ... Loony Lovegood ... ha ha ha ..."

"We've got to get out of here," Harry said firmly. "Luna, can you help Ginny?"

"Yes," Luna said, sticking her wand behind her ear for safekeeping, then putting an arm around Ginny's waist and pulling her up.

"It's only my ankle, I can do it myself!" Ginny impatiently said, but next moment she had collapsed sideways and grabbed Luna for support. Harry pulled Ron's arm over his shoulder.

"I'll help," I said, stepping forward. I got to Ginny's other side, and she put her arm around me as well.

We started walking, but we did not get far. A door across the hall burst open and three Death Eaters sped in, led by Bellatrix Lestrange. "There they are!" she shrieked.

We quickly pushed our way into the nearest room and slammed the door behind us. "Colloportus!" Harry shouted as three bodies slammed into the other side of the door.

"It doesn't matter!" a man's voice said. "There are other ways in--WE'VE GOT THEM, THEY'RE HERE!"

I felt my heart sink. There were doors all over this room as well. The Death eaters were going to find their way in. Luna, Neville, Harry, and I ran around the room, sealing up doors. Harry and I had just reached the top of the room when we heard Luna cry: "Collo--aaaaaaaaargh ..."

I spun around to see her flying through the air. Five Death Eaters were surging into the room through the door she had not reached in time. Luna hit a desk, slid over its surface and on to the floor on the other side where she lay sprawled. I had no time to react.

"Get Potter!" Bellatrix shrieked, and she ran at him.

Harry and I ran off in opposite directions. My mind was whirling; I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Then I heard Ron say: "Honest, Harry, they're brains--look--Accio brain!"

Everyone in the room turned to look at the tank in front of him; a brain burst from the green liquid that was oozing out of it. For a moment, it seemed suspended in midair, then it soared towards Ron, spinning as it came, and what looked like ribbons of moving images flew from it, unraveling like rolls of film. 'Ha ha ha, Harry, look at it--' said Ron, watching it disgorge its gaudy innards, "Harry, come and touch it; bet it's weird-"

"RON, NO!" Harry cried. He darted forward, but Ron had already caught the brain in his outstretched hands.

The moment they made contact with his skin, the tentacles began wrapping themselves around Ron's arms like ropes. "Harry, look what's happen--No--no--I don't like it--no, stop—stop-" But the thin ribbons were spinning around Ron's chest now; he tugged and tore at them as the brain was pulled tight against him like an octopus's body.

"Diffindo!" Harry yelled, trying to sever the feelers wrapping themselves tightly around Ron, but they would not break. Ron fell over, still thrashing against his bonds.

"Harry, it'll suffocate him!" Ginny screamed. Then a jet of red light flew from one of the Death Eater's wands and hit her squarely in the face. She keeled over sideways and lay there unconscious. I wanted to cry out, but my throat was too tight.

"STUBEFY!" Neville shouted, wheeling around and waving a wand at the oncoming Death Eaters, "STUBEFY, STUBEFY!" But nothing happened.

One of the Death Eaters shot their own Stunning Spell at Neville; it missed him by inches. Harry, Neville, and I were now the only two left fighting the five Death Eaters, two of whom sent off streams of silver light like arrows which missed but left craters in the wall behind them. Harry ran for it as Bellatrix raced right at him. Holding the prophecy high above his head, he sprinted back up the room.

The rest of the Death Eaters raced after him. It seemed like he was trying to get them all away from the rest of us, so I decided to stay back. Besides, Ron needed help. I tried to think of a spell that could free him as I ran to his side; nothing came to mind. My breathing had grown shallow, and I could feel sweat forming on my forehead. Maybe Harry was right all along; perhaps these sorts of adventures were not as fun as they seemed.

Neville had run after Harry and the Death Eaters. I was too far away to know what was going on, but it did not sound good. I tried to block out the noise as I desperately pulled at the vines closing around Ron's body. Nothing was working!

Then, high above us, two more doors burst open and five more people sprinted into the room: Sirius, Lupin, Moody, Tonks and Kingsley. I had never felt so relieved. Order members! Snape must have gotten the message after all. I could see a battle breaking out between Death Eaters and Order members. Now I felt better about staying back with Ron; he needed me more.

I still had not figured anything out when Bellatrix suddenly whipped past me, followed closely by Harry. Both of them disappeared behind another door. I exchanged a confused glance with Ginny, who was nearby.

Not long later, the Order members approached us, some appearing hurt and exhausted. "What's going on?" I asked. "Why is Harry-"

"She killed Sirius," Lupin said flatly as Moody attended to Ron."

I gasped in shock. "Wh-what?"

"We need to get all of you home," Lupin said.

I glancing down, feeling very troubled. Suddenly, it all seemed too real to me. "I want to go home... to America," I managed to get out. It was a thought that had never occurred to me until that moment, and it surprised me.

I looked up and saw Lupin staring at me sympathetically. 


	39. Shaken

The Order of the Phoenix escorted Ginny, Ron, Hermione, Luna, Neville, and me back to Hogwarts. I was surprised to find that I was the only one who was not injured. However, since it was late at night, I would not be gaining access to the Gryffindor common room, so I stayed with the others in the Hospital Wing.

I slept well into Friday afternoon. The previous night's events had left a physical and emotional toll on me. Luckily, OWLS were over, and I did not have any obligations to think about. Except one.

I found myself unable to leave right away, though, because my friends were up and wanted to talk. By now, harry had arrived. I kept quiet as everyone made sure everyone else was okay. I sat next to Ginny on her bed; I grasped my pendant, twisting it in my hand.

"Crystal," Hermione said suddenly, "how are you feeling?"

I jerked my head up, surprised at the question. "I-I don't know," I said truthfully. "I'm fine right now, but once I give my mind time to reflect..." Everything would come crashing down on me full-force. I did not want to be alone. I did not want to think about what I had just witness. My intuition was already telling me the repercussions would be terrible.

"You were very brave," Neville said, "the way you stayed with Ron and tried to help him. You didn't give up."

"But I didn't figure anything out," I mumbled. I didn't feel like I had done much on that trip, actually. I had only fought off one Death Eater. I had let one go...

"You stayed to help me?" Ron said, looking at me in surprise.

I glanced at him and frowned. "Of course. I wasn't going to let you down. Have a little faith in me, Ron. I'm on your side." I looked around at each of my friends. "I'm on all of your sides. I just-" I hesitated before continuing. "My commitments extend beyond that."

Ginny touched my hand. I glanced at her, and she gave me a sympathetic look.

"Well, thanks," Ron said.

I nodded at him. Then I turned to Harry. His green eyes locked with mine. Out of all of us, he had experienced the worst pain. I wished there was something I could do to help him, but perhaps his best friends would be better at that than I. Besides, there was something else I needed to do. "I'm sorry," I said softly.

Harry nodded his head slightly in acknowledgement. Then he said, "The ministry caught them. The Death Eaters. They're in Azkaban by now."

The words struck me like a physical blow. Immediately, I knew the intended message. "O-okay," I said in a shaky voice. I dropped my hand from my pendant. Everyone was staring at me; they all knew the implications of Harry's statement as well. Then a memory flashed in my mind. "He let me go," I said, my eyes widening. I had not thought of it until then; I had not had the chance.

"Who let you go?" said Luna.

"Lucius Malfoy. Because of this." I took off my necklace and flipped it over so that the Slytherin side of the pendant was showing.

"Draco gave you that, didn't he?" Ginny asked, seeming curious.

I nodded.

"Why would he let you go?" Ron asked, obviously perplexed.

I shrugged. "The world is not black and white, Ron. It would be easier if it was, but people are more complicated than that. Give them a chance and they'll surprise you." I shook my head in wonder as I stood up. "Well, I have to go do something. I'll come back and see you guys later."

"Alright, take care of yourself," Hermione said.

I gave her a slight smile before heading out of the Hospital Wing.

My heart began to beat nervously as I scurried down the halls. I was not sure where to go, but there were several places I could check. Soon, I found myself standing at the top of the stairs leading down to the dungeons. For some reason, my feet would not move any further. I stood staring at the top step for what seemed like a long time. Then a voice broke me from my trance:

"Miss Hansen, is there something wrong?"

I snapped my head up and saw Snape standing several steps down from me. I blinked several times, trying to find the words to say. I swallowed a lump in my throat. "I-I'm not hurt," I stammered. He knew what I had been through. He had to.

Snape stared at me for a minute, his face unreadable. Just when he opened his mouth to say something, Draco appeared on the stairs behind him, and he turned his head when I did to look at him.

Draco's face was hard and rigid, and his eyes were cold, sending a chill done my spine when they locked with mine. I surmised that he had been told what had happened the previous night. He inclined his head slightly, and I nodded. We needed to talk. He finished his ascent and walked past me. I began to follow him, but Snape lightly touched my arm, causing me to look back at him.

"Are you sure you are alright?" he asked, his face still showing no emotion.

I glanced down at my hands and noticed that they were shaking. Self-consciously, I clenched my hands into fists. "Adrenaline. I'll be fine," I said half-heartedly. I glanced at Draco, who was waiting for me patiently several feet away. "I've got to go." As I hurried over to him, Draco resumed walking.

Neither of us spoke until we entered the Room of Requirement. Once inside, we stood facing each other, holding intense gazes.

"You should not have gone," Draco finally said in a low voice.

"You heard then?" I said weakly.

"The Ministry sent me an owl this morning."

"You don't consider them your allies anymore then?"

Draco narrowed his eyes at me.

I winced, realizing my mistake. This was not the time for that. "Sorry," I mumbled. My expression softened as I look at him with pain in my eyes. "I had to go. Harry is my friend. I tried to stop him when I figured out what was going on. But we were attacked, and-" I broke off and shuddered.

Draco had turned his gaze away; his hands were in his pockets, and he was staring at the floor. "I didn't know," he said quietly. "My father wouldn't tell me much. Says I'm still too young. I knew he had been given an important mission, but I did not know what it was. I did not know it was to take place yesterday." He looked up at me, pain reflected in his own eyes. "If I had, I would have-"

I nodded, understanding his meaning. Of course he would have told me and tried to stop me. I knew he would protect me if he was able. "I'm sorry," I repeated softly. "I didn't know what I was getting into."

"Just like a Gryffindor," Draco muttered.

I grimaced and looked away, knowing he was right.

"You could have been hurt."

I looked back at him; I had remembered something else I had to tell him. "But I wasn't. All my friends were. I could have been, but-" I paused, noticing how he was looking at me with interest. "Your father cornered me, but I got him to let me go. I showed him this." I touched my Slytherin pendant. "And I told him that I love you."

"You told him?" Draco said, anger flashing on his face. "After all we've done to keep it a secret? Do you know what he could have done?"

"I wasn't thinking, alright?" I said defensively. "It didn't seem like I had much to lose at the time. And it _did_ work. He let me walk past him unharmed."

Draco seemed surprised at my words. "Really?" He frowned, and a thoughtful look crossed his face. "That's very... intriguing."

"He cares about you more than you think," I said. I had been surprised to find it out as well. Lucius did a good job at hiding his love for his son, but I could tell that it was there.

Draco shrugged. "Maybe. I suppose I won't be finding out anytime soon."

I winced even though there was no hostility in his voice. "Yeah... I'm sorry about that."

"There is nothing you could have done," Draco said, looking away.

I felt a rush of compassion towards him, and I reached out and touched his arm. "It's going to be okay," I said gently. "We'll get through this together."

Draco looked at me with mild surprise in his eyes. "You're still going to stay with me?"

"Of course!" I said firmly. "We're going to need each other now more than ever. I want to be there for you." I gave him a small smile. "I love you."

Then Draco had his arms around me, and he was pulling my close to him. I felt a rush of relief as I held onto him. The contact felt so good after all I had been through in the past 24 hours. "Thank you," he whispered.

I pulled back so that I could smile at him. "Just promise me that you won't leave either." I did not think he would, but I had to make sure.

"I would never," Draco said almost fiercely.

"Do you have any idea what's going to happen now?" I asked as we let go of each other. I had not had much time to think about it, but it was important.

Draco hesitated. "I don't know exactly," he began slowly, "but I know that the Dark Lord does not like to be disappointed. He enjoys punishing those who fail." His last words came out bitterly, and his eyes narrowed.

I felt troubled at the implication. "But your father's in Azkaban. He'll be safe there, right?"

"For now, _he_ will be safe."

There was something in Draco's eyes that scared me; I immediately understood what he was implying. "No," I said, stubbornly shaking my head. "No. He wouldn't... would he?" I stared at him fearfully, already knowing the answer.

Draco smiled bitterly. "Of course he would. Whatever it takes to weed out failure."

The idea seemed so unjust that it made me angry. "Why would you want to follow someone like that?"

"I never said _I_ did!" Draco growled.

My anger vanished as I realized what he thought I had accused him of. "I didn't think you did. I was speaking in universal terms." I bit my lip and looked at him apologetically. His response was good, though, right?

Draco's face relaxed slightly. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked away. "He makes you feel important," he murmured.

This caught my interest. I wanted to ask more, but I did not think this was the right time. I thought back to what he had previously said. Was he in danger? "We could run away," I said gently. "To America, like you said. You would be safe there."

Draco shook his head while sighing. "I can't. My mother would never leave without my father, and I can't leave her. She needs me, and she would be devastated if I left."

My eyebrows raised in curiosity. This was the first time I had heard him speak of his mother. I had barely even thought to ask. I knew nothing about what she was like. From what he was saying now, though, it seemed like he had a better relationship with her than his father. "Are you two close?"

Draco shrugged. "I suppose. She can be a bit smothering, but I know she loves me."

I smiled weakly. "That's good."

Draco glanced at me, his expression weary. "I'm sorry, but we're going to have to do our best to survive here."

I nodded slowly. "Alright. We'll make it." I walked over to him and hugged him from the side.

He immediately turned and wrapped both arms around me. "I hope you're right," he murmured as he stroked my hair.

***

Sunday morning, the Daily Prophet announced Voldemort's return. It seemed like Fudge was no longer able to deny reality. I found this a very good thing. We did not need to fight two different enemies. Perhaps now we could work together to find a solution to our common problem. The Ministry was not inherently evil; it just had a tendency to look out for its own interests instead of the community at large.

I tried to forget the past few days as I walked onto the Hogwarts Express. I found a compartment with Draco, Vincent, and Gregory. The latter two talked a bit on the ride home, but Draco and I silently leaned against each other. We had spent the whole of the last day together, and now there was nothing more to say. I found myself anxious to figure out what exactly the future held for us.

Our companions were the first to exit once the train stopped. Draco was slow to pull me up with him and hug me one last time. I kissed him gently, smiling slightly as I pulled away. "Have a good summer," I nearly whispered.

Before I could leave, Draco pulled me back by my wrist and kissed me again. This time, it was much more forceful and passionate. I willing gave into it, but something at the back of my mind was nagging me. When he finally let me go, I gave him a worried look. "I _am_ going to see you again, right?"

Draco nodded. "Of course."

Just then, an idea lit up in my mind, and before I could stop myself, I said, "I want to meet your mom."

Draco blinked. "What?"

I quickly gathered up my luggage; Snowflake jumped off of a suitcase he had thought was a good napping spot. I heard Draco and the cat follow me off the train.

"Crystal, I don't think this is such a good idea," Draco said warningly.

I shook my head. "I want to try." I had been able to appeal to his father, so why not his mother? It was worth a shot.

I found Emily already off of the train. "Hey," I said to her, "watch my stuff. I'll be right back."

Emily blinked at me. "Ok..."

I turned and scanned the platform. I caught sight of a blond-haired woman standing alone. Figuring my chances were good, I ran in that direction, Snowflake and Draco darting after me. The woman seemed surprised when I approached her. "Hi," I said, panting from my exercise. Snowflake sniffed the woman's legs before purring and running up against her. I smiled slightly; this had to be right. "I'm Crystal Hansen."

Draco caught up to me and stopped beside me. He seemed to be out of breath as well. At least that meant he could not be angry with me. "What are you-?"

"Narcissa Malfoy," the woman said, looking from me to Draco oddly.

"I'm Draco's girlfriend," I said.

Snowflake sat at her feet. "Meow."

Narcissa raised her eyebrows at her son."Really? Is this true?"

Draco nodded, seeming almost embarrassed. "Yes, it is."

Narcissa looked back at me. Her eyes landed on my necklace, which was showing the Slytherin serpent. Then they flickered to the Gryffindor symbol on my robes. "Are you a Gryffindor or a Slytherin?"

"Gryffindor, but I'm a friend to Slytherins," I explained with a shrug. "I'm an American, and I follow my own rules." I hesitated, unsure if what I was about to say was wise; I was feeling a bit reckless, though. "I'm sorry about your husband. I was there fighting against him, but he let me go." I glanced at Draco, who looked like he wished this conversation would end as quickly as possible, before turning back his mother. "I just wanted you to know that I love your son, and I do anything I can to be there for him."

Narcissa stood staring at me for a long time. I could not read her expression, and I was afraid I had said the wrong thing. Finally, her face softened, and she said in a shaky voice, "Thank you. Will you look after him?"

I looked into her eyes, and I saw the same thing I had seen in Draco's when I had talked to him on Friday; I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. "Always," I managed to get out. I glanced in the direction I had come. I could see my family gathered together with Emily's and my belongings. My parents had noticed me and were casting me disapproving looks.

"Meow."

Narcissa glanced down at the cat but did not say anything more.

"I could go," I said, picking up Snowflake and placing him on my shoulders. "Good luck with... everything."

Narcissa nodded.

"Crystal." I turned, and Draco pulled me into a hug, causing Snowflake to meow in disapproval. "You handled that well."

"She wants what's best for you," I said softly, keeping my arms around him for a second longer.

"I hope your parents understand."

I pulled away and glanced at my family. Then I looked back at Draco and shrugged. "They can't do anything to me. It's you I'm worried about."

Draco smile slightly. He took hold of my hand. "I am fine right now. I'll see you in September."

I gave him a small smile in return. "September..." I began to walk away from him; we let out arms stretch, and our hands brushed until our fingers were no longer able to retain contact. Now all that was left to do was to face the consequences of my rash actions. 


	40. The Black Rose

"What do you think you were doing?" Dad said in a hard tone when I approached with Snowflake around my shoulders. "You know Lucius Malfoy was arrested as a Death Eater?"

"I know, I was there," I growled. I really did not want to be talking about this. I did not want to have to explain myself.

"You're not still dating that boy, are you?" Mom asked with concern in her voice.

"Can we just go?" I picked up my bags and began to walk forward.

"What is that around your neck?" Dad said, disapproval lacing his words. "We need answers, Crystal. What were you doing over there?"

When I realized they were not following me, I dropped my bags and spun around. My sisters were giving me worried looks, and my parents were obviously not pleased. I let out a short sigh. "Yes, I'm still dating Draco. He gave me this a year ago." I flipped the pendant over to briefly show them the Gryffindor side. "I was just over their offering him and his mom my support because they will be needing it." I crossed my arms and stared at the ground angrily.

My mother gasped. "Crystal! I can't believe you. We told you to stay away from that family."

"We're very disappointed in you," my father added. "I thought we raised you better."

I lifted my head at this, my eyes flashing in anger. "You taught me how to love, and that's exactly what I'm doing."

"But – him?" Mom said, her eyes wide.

"Yeah, I thought you taught me that love was unconditional, or did I pick that up somewhere else?" I stared at them challengingly, daring them to refute me.

"Love does not mean you put yourself in danger!" Dad nearly exclaimed. "They follow You-Know-Who. In these dark times, we have to be careful who we trust. We can't afford to be reckless."

"I'm not being reckless!" I retorted. "I can trust Draco!"

"Then you are blinded by emotion."

"No!" I cried out. I was tired of people attributing that to my motives. Could they not see that it was something much bigger than that? "I _love_ him. Not because of my emotions. For him."

"I thought you were a better judge of character," Mom said.

I groaned loudly. Why did I even try? It was impossible to get through to them. "You don't understand."

"We're trying," Dad said more calmly, "but we need to make sure you're safe. We're going to have to punish you."

"Yeah, whatever," I muttered. "I don't care anymore."

"Crystal!" Mom said with a gasp. "That's no way to talk to you parents!"

I thought glaring at her would not make a better impression, so I averted my gaze to the ground. "It's just the truth. You can do whatever you want to me, but you can't stop me from loving Draco."

"We should go," Emily interrupted hesitantly. "Everyone else is gone."

"Thank you, Emily," Dad said with a nod. "Crystal, we'll talk about this at home."

"Can't wait," I mumbled. This was going to be a long summer.

***

The first week passed by rather uneventfully. My parents reprimanded me again, but I did not fight back this time. I had lost the will to retaliate. I knew I was right; what more did I have to prove? They forbid me to go anywhere alone except to the Weasley's, which did not matter much to me, anyone. Draco and I could not see each other. I spent much of the time alone, reading and writing. I tried to keep away the thoughts that threatened to haunt me.

A week into the summer, however, my parents met my sisters and I with a surprise. They had us all down on the couch while they stood in front of us, smiling.

"Girls," Dad began, "I've come across some extra money at work, and I've decided to use it in order for our family to take a vacation to America for the month of July."

All three of us gasped. America? I had not been there in so long! I missed it dearly. I exchanged excited looks with my sisters. This was going to be wonderful.

"We'll stay mostly in Minnesota, but we may visit some other states as well," Mom added.

"Sounds awesome!" I said with a grin.

Mom smiled at me. "Good. I was hoping you would think so. We'll be able to spend the Fourth of July and your birthday there."

The Fourth of July in America! How exciting! I felt much lighter than I had in a long time. It would be good to be home again. I only hoped I would be willing to return to Great Britain once the vacation was through. If I thought about Draco, that was probably not going to be a problem. Something occurred to me, and I looked at my parents suspiciously. "We _are_ just staying for July, right? We're not moving back?"

Dad hesitated. "For now, yes. We are thinking about moving back sometime soon. Britain is becoming too dangerous."

"But we have to stay here!" I exclaimed. "I want to fight!"

Dad gave me a dark look. "You're too young for fighting. It's best if you stay out of the way. However, you should be safe with Dumbledore at Hogwarts, so we will give it some time and see how events will unfold."

I crossed my arms and glared at the floor. "Fine," I mumbled. But I knew there was no way I would ever leave Draco here alone. I would find a way to him.

"I thought you loved America," Mom said gently.

"Looks like she's found something she loves more," Emily commented.

I could not have agreed more.

***

The month spent in America was amazing. From Minnesota, we traveled to Wisconsin, Chicago, Washington, D.C., and Florida. It was the best summer in a long time. It was great to see my family and old friends again. We had many stories to share.

I was struck by how nonchalant everyone's attitude was towards Voldemort. It was something that was hardly discussed, if at all. Why was there no organized effort to help the Britons? This seemed to be something that affected the whole wizarding community, not just Europe. Did these people really think that if Voldemort won, he was just going to leave America alone? Did they not learn from the muggles in World War II? We needed to stick together now.

It was then that I truly admired the efforts my father was making to rally the Americans to the cause. It was hard when they did not think they had anything to fear. He had gotten some supporters, but he still needed to convince the American wizarding government that there was a crisis. They president was not even aware of the situation. Something had to be done.

Anyway, I was sad when we had to leave for London. We needed to get back in time to receive our Hogwarts book lists. And Lizzie would be starting her first year! It was so exciting. I could not wait to go with her to Diagon Alley and help her acquire her wand.

We were in for a surprise when we returned, however. Diagon Alley had changed drastically. Many shops had closed, including Ollivander's, the wand maker. And no one was allowed there alone. Things were truly getting bad. I felt a chill as I wondered how long it would be until terror was released on everyone and what they would mean for me specifically.

I had not received any letters from everyone because I had told all of my friends about my trip. Owls could not make it across the ocean, so I had been in the dark. The first thing I did when I got home was to sit down and write to everyone. I could see Ginny and Ron whenever I wanted, but I was eager to hear from the others.

I was surprised when I received an owl the very next day. It was a rose. A black rose. The note only said it was from Draco and offered no further explanation. I sat on my bed staring at the rose in confusion. Black? What was that supposed to mean, death?

"Come in," I said when I heard a knock on the door, still staring at the rose.

"Hi," Emily sad brightly. I heard her walked closer to me. "What's that?"

"It's from Draco," I said. I looked up at her and frowned. "Do you know what black symbolizes?"

Emily shrugged. "I think there are different meanings, but it never symbolizes anything good."

My eyes lowered to the rose again and I sighed. "That's what I was afraid of."

"I'm sure he'll explain when he sees you," Emily said. "Maybe his mail's being watched."

"Yeah," I mumbled. I was _definitely_ going to have a long conversation with him the next time I saw him. Was his intent to make me go crazy until then?

***

It turned out Harry and Hermione were staying with the Weasley's for the rest of the summer. They invited us to join them on their trip to Diagon Alley for added security. We traveled in a Ministry of Magic car, which dropped us off at the Leaky Cauldron, where Hagrid was waiting for us. Then we all set off to begin our shopping.

Diagon Alley looked very different. Many stores were boarded up, and everything was covered in wanted posters displaying Death Eaters who were on the loose. It was not very pleasant. I tried to shrug an eerie feeling away and stuck close to my friends and family.

Mrs. Weasley was looking over a list. "I think we'd better do Madam Malkin's first," she said.

"Good idea," My mom said. "Crystal has worn hers out."

I smiled sheepishly at the comment.

Mrs. Weasley nodded. "Hermione also wants new dress robes, and Ron's showing much too much ankle in his school robes, and you must need new ones too, Harry, you've grown so much... come on, everyone..."

"Molly, it doesn't make sense for all of us to go to Madam Malkin's," said Mr. Weasley. "Why don't those three go with Hagrid, and we can go to Flourish and Blotts and get everyone's school books?"

"I don't know," Mrs. Weasley said anxiously, clearly torn between a desire to finish the shopping quickly and the wish to stick together in a pack. "Hagrid, do you think...--?"

"Don' fret, they'll be fine with me, Molly," Hagrid said soothingly, waving an airy hand. Mrs. Weasley did not look entirely convinced, but allowed the separation, scurrying off toward Flourish and Blotts with her husband, Ginny, and the rest of my family, while Harry, Ron, Hermione, Hagrid, and I set off for Madam Malkin's.

"Migh' be a bit of a squeeze in there with all o' us," Hagrid said, stopping outside Madam Malkin's and bending down to peer through the window. "I'll stand guard outside, all righ'?"

So Harry, Ron, Hermione, and I slipped in together. At first, the place seemed deserted, but then, from behind a rack of dress robes, we heard a familiar voice that caused my heart to skip a beat.

"... not a child, in case you haven't noticed, Mother. I am perfectly capable of doing my shopping alone."

There was a clucking noise and a voice that must have been that of Madam Malkin, the owner, said, "Now, dear, your mother's quite right, none of us is supposed to go wandering around on our own anymore, it's nothing to do with being a child--"

"Watch where you're sticking that pin, will you!"

Draco emerged from behind the rack, wearing a handsome set of dark green robes that glittered with pins around the hem and the edges of the sleeves. He strode to the mirror and examined himself; it was a few moments before he noticed Harry, Ron, Hermione, and I reflected over his shoulder. His light gray eyes narrowed. "If you're wondering what the smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in," he said.

"I don't think there's any need for language like that!" Madam Malkin said, scurrying out from behind the clothes rack holding a tape measure and a wand. "And I don't want wands drawn in my shop either!" she added hastily, for a glance toward the door had shown her Harry and Ron both standing there with their wands out and pointing at Draco.

I had not noticed the wands until then because I had been standing back with Hermione. Now I strode up to stand beside Ron and Harry and glared at them. "Put those away!" Really, did they have no control over their emotions? "Use your words. Violence is not the answer."

"Yeah, like you'd dare do magic out of school," Draco sneered. "Who blacked your eye, Granger? I want to send them flowers."

I shot him a look. He was so not helping. He ignored me like he usually did when I was with my friends. It was these times that I was painfully reminded that I was the only one to whom he ever showed his good side. On the one hand, that made me feel special, but on the other, it caused me pain to see him constantly choose to show the worst of himself.

"That's quite enough!" Madam Malkin said sharply, looking over her shoulder for support. "Madam--please--"

Narcissa Malfoy strolled out from behind the clothes rack. "Put those away," she said coldly to Harry and Ron. "If you attack my son again, I shall ensure that it is the last thing you ever do."

"Really?" Harry said, taking a step forward. "Going to get a few Death Eater pals to do us in, are you?"

"Harry!" I exclaimed, glaring at him.

Madam Malkin squealed and clutched at her heart. "Really, you shouldn't accuse... dangerous thing to say... wands away, please!"

"Just walk away," I hissed at Harry. "It's not worth it."

But Harry did not lower his wand or walk away.

Narcissa Malfoy smiled unpleasantly. "I see that being Dumbledore's favorite has given you a false sense of security, Harry Potter. But Dumbledore won't always be there to protect you."

Harry looked mockingly all around the shop. "Wow... look at that... he's not here now! So why not have a go? They might be able to find you a double cell in Azkaban with your loser of a husband!" Then he looked at me as if it say: 'See? I can use words.'

I groaned loudly. "Harry, no!" I was now standing off to the side, in between the warring parties, thought I was still closer to Harry. This was a nightmare. I hated that this situation was so entirely out of my control.

Draco made an angry movement toward Harry but stumbled over his overlong robe. Ron laughed loudly. "Don't you dare talk to my mother like that, Potter!" Draco snarled.

"Yes," I said with an exasperated sigh. "Show some respect."

"It's all right, Draco," Narcissa said, restraining him with her thin white fingers upon his shoulder. "I expect Potter will be reunited with dear Sirius before I am reunited with Lucius."

Harry raised his wand higher.

"Harry, no!" Hermione moaned, grabbing his arm and attempting to push it down by his side. "Think... You mustn't... You'll be in such trouble..."

"_Please_ stop?" I said desperately. "For my sake, if nothing else?"

Harry suddenly rounded on me. "_You_ need to pick a side and stay on it!"

I blinked in surprise at his harsh tone. What? I glanced at the Malfoys. Narcissa was obviously avoiding my gaze, and Draco was looking at me sharply.

As I took a timid step towards Draco, he growled, "Wrong!"

I stood still again, now utterly confused. What was going on? Did he _not_ want me to join him?

Madam Malkin dithered for a moment on the spot, then seemed to decide to act as though nothing was happening in the hope that it wouldn't. She bent toward Draco, who was glaring at Harry again. "I think this left sleeve could come up a little bit more, dear, let me just..."

"Ouch!" Draco bellowed, slapping her hand away. "Watch where you're putting your pins, woman! Mother, I don't think I want these anymore." He pulled the robes over his head and threw them onto the floor at Madam Malkin's feet.

"You're right, Draco," Narcissa said, with a contemptuous glance at Hermione, "now I know the kind of scum that shops here... We'll do better at Twilfitt and Tatting's."

And with that, the pair of them strode out of the shop. As he passed me, Draco hissed in my ear, "Stay with _them_." Then he took care to bang as hard as he could into Ron on the way out.

I stood staring after him dumbly, my mouth hanging partly open. It took a few seconds for my sense to return to me, and I raced out of the store after them. "Wait!" I called, running past Hagrid and ignoring his questions. I _had_ to know about the rose. I needed to know the reason for this strange behavior.

Draco and Narcissa stopped walked and turned around to face me. "Go back inside," Narcissa said coldly. "It's not safe to be wandering alone."

"I'm not alone right now," I said.

Draco narrowed his eyes at me and stepped forward. "Go home, Crystal. It's not safe for you here."

"Why? What's going on?" My heart began to beat quickly; something was definitely wrong.

"Your parents were right from the start," Draco said almost scathingly. "You would have done better if you had stayed away from me."

My eyes widened in shock. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Stay where you belong."

I felt my head spinning. None of this was making any sense. His eyes were dark and cold. He _never_ looked at me this way. Something was terribly wrong. He was beginning to turn away again. I needed to say something to make him stay. "The rose!" I cried out. "What does black mean?"

Draco looked at me steadily for a moment before saying, "Doomed romance." Then he turned and walked back to his mother, who put her hand on his back and led him away.

  
*

Once the whole group was back together, I was in a foul mood until Ginny told me we were going to Fred and George's new joke shop. She told me it would make me feel better, and I wanted to believe that she was right.

The outside of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes was incredible. Set against the dull, poster-muffled shop fronts around them, Fred and Georges windows hit the eye like a firework display. The left-hand window was dazzlingly full of an assortment of goods that revolved, popped, flashed, bounced, and shrieked. The right-hand window was covered with a gigantic poster, purple like those of the Ministry, but emblazoned with flashing yellow letters:

Why Are You Worrying About You-Know-Who?  
You SHOULD Be Worrying About  
U-NO-POO--  
the Constipation Sensation That's Gripping the Nation!

Harry, Ron and I laughed before entering the shop together. The place was packed, and it was filled with all sorts of amazing looking products. I took a few minutes to just revel in it all.

"You know," Hermione said, looking up from a box at Harry and me, "that really is extraordinary magic!"

"For that, Hermione," a voice said behind us, "you can have one for free." A beaming Fred stood before them, wearing a set of magenta robes that clashed magnificently with his flaming hair.

"Fred!" I exclaimed, never feeling happier to see him. I ran up to him and threw my arms around him.

Fred laughed and hugged me back. "It's good to see you, Crystal." He let go and smiled past me. "How are you, Harry?" The two of them shook hands. "And what happened to your eye, Hermione?"

"Your punching telescope," she said ruefully.

"Oh blimey, I forgot about those," Fred said. "Here..." He pulled a tub out of his pocket and handed it to her; she unscrewed it gingerly to reveal a thick yellow paste. "Just dab it on, that bruise'll be gone within the hour. We had to find a decent bruise-remover. We're testing most of our products on ourselves."

Hermione looked nervous. "It is safe, isn't it?" she asked.

"Course it is," Fred said bracingly. "Come on, Harry, Crystal, I'll give you a tour."

Harry and I left Hermione and followed Fred to the back of the shop, where there was a stand of card and rope tricks.

"Muggle magic tricks!" said Fred happily, pointing them out. "For freaks like Dad, you know, who love Muggle stuff. It's not a big earner, but we do fairly steady business, they're great novelties... Oh, here's George..."

George shook Harry's hand energetically. Then he turned to me and grinned. "Crystal!"

I grinned at him in return. "George!" I hugged him like I had his twin.

"It's great to see you," George said after pulling away. He glanced at Fred. "Giving them the tour? Come through the back, Crystal and Harry, that's where we're making the real money... pocket anything, you, and you'll pay in more than Galleons!" he added warningly to a small boy who hastily whipped his hand out of the tub labeled: Edible Dark Marks--They'll Make Anyone Sick!

I enjoyed every minute of the tour the twins gave us. They even let us sample some of their products for free. I had almost forgotten the unfortunate incident that had occurred earlier in the day. It was good to have friends I could count on to brighten my day.

When we were finished, George turned to me and asked, "So, what do you think, Crystal?"

I smiled warmly at him. "George, I think it's the most wonderful place I have ever seen," I said, meaning every word.

George's face lit up with happiness. "Thanks!"

Then I left the twins to go explore on my own. After awhile, I found myself with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They were staring out the window. I followed their gaze and frowned when I saw Draco hurrying up the streets alone.

"Wonder where his mummy is?" said Harry, frowning.

"Given her the slip by the looks of it," Ron said.

"Why, though?" said Hermione.

I stayed quiet, feeling extremely trouble. With a look at Harry, I knew we were thinking the same thing; whatever Draco was up to, it could not be good.

"Get under here, quick," Harry said after a minute, pulling his Invisibility Cloak out of his bag.

"Oh--I don't know, Harry," Hermione said, looking uncertainly toward Mrs. Weasley.

"Come on," Ron said.

I glanced at Harry uncertainly, but he nodded, so I got under as well. It was a tight fit, and we had trouble getting out the door. It was doable, though. I felt like following Draco was a bad idea, but it would be worse if I was left behind.

"He was going in that direction," Harry murmured. "C'mon..."

We scurried along, peering left and right, through shop windows and doors, until Hermione pointed ahead. "That's him, isn't it?" she whispered. "Turning left?"

"Yes," I answered, recognizing Draco immediately.

"Big surprise," Ron whispered, for Draco had glanced around, and then slid into Knockturn Alley and out of sight.

"Quick, or we'll lose him," Harry said, speeding up.

"Our feet'll be seen!" Hermione said anxiously as the cloak flapped a little around our ankles.

"It doesn't matter," Harry said impatiently. "Just hurry!"

We stopped outside of Borgin and Burkes. Inside, in the midst of the cases full of skulls and old bottles stood Draco with his back to us, just visible beyond a large black cabinet. Draco was talking animatedly. The proprietor of the shop, Mr. Borgin stood facing him. He was wearing a curious expression of mingled resentment and fear.

"If only we could hear what they're saying!" Hermione said.

"We can!" Ron said excitedly. "Hang on." He dropped a couple more of the boxes he was still clutching as he fumbled with the largest. "Extendable Ears, look!"

"Fantastic!" Hermione said as Ron unraveled the long, flesh-colored strings and began to feed them toward the bottom of the door. "Oh, I hope the door isn't Imperturbable--"

"No!" Ron said gleefully. "Listen!"

They put their heads together and listened intently to the ends of the strings, through which Malfoy's voice could be heard loud and clear, as though a radio had been turned on.

"... you know how to fix it?"

"Possibly," Borgin said in a tone that suggested he was unwilling to commit himself. "I'll need to see it, though. Why don't you bring it into the shop?"

"I can't," Draco said. "It's got to stay put. I just need you to tell me how to do it."

"Well, without seeing it, I must say it will be a very difficult job, perhaps impossible. I couldn't guarantee anything."

"No?" Draco said. "Perhaps this will make you more confident." He moved toward Borgin and was blocked from view by the cabinet. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and I shuffled sideways to try and keep him in sight, but all we could see was Borgin, looking very frightened. "Tell anyone and there will be retribution. You know Fenrir Greyback? He's a family friend. He'll be dropping in from time to time to make sure you're giving the problem your full attention."

"There will be no need for--"

"I'll decide that," Draco said. "Well, I'd better be off. And don't forget to keep that one safe, I'll need it."

"Perhaps you'd like to take it now?"

"No, of course I wouldn't, you stupid, little man, how would I look carrying that down the street? Just don't sell it."

"Of course not... sir." He bowed deeply.

"Not a word to anyone, Borgin, and that includes my mother, understand?"

"Naturally, naturally," murmured Borgin, bowing again.

Next moment, the bell over the door tinkled loudly as Draco stalked out of the shop looking very pleased with himself. Inside the shop, Borgin remained frozen; his unctuous smile had vanised; he looked worried. But that was nothing compared to how I was feeling inside. 


	41. Shut Out

Over the next several days, I spent much of my time at the Weasley's house. I did not trust myself to be alone with my thoughts. Harry, however, seemed to have nothing better to do than to speculate about what Draco was up to. Thankfully, Hermione and Ron seemed bored by the discussion. Ironically, I was the one who was quite interested, but I would give Harry no help whatsoever.

Harry did not seem to be getting anywhere, anyway, until one day, he broke off in midsentence before saying slowly, "He's a Death Eater. He's replaced his father as a Death Eater!"

My body instantly froze. Harry stared into my eyes, and I knew that he could see the sudden fear in my eyes; it was the fear that had been haunting me ever since the end of fourth year. I did not want to have to face it now.

Then Ron erupted in laughter. "Malfoy? He's sixteen, Harry! You think You-Know-Who would let Malfoy join?"

"It seems very unlikely, Harry," Hermione said in a repressive sort of voice. "What makes you think--?"

"In Madam Malkin's. She didn't touch him, but he yelled and jerked his arm away from her when she went to roll up his sleeve. It was his left arm. He's been branded with the Dark Mark."

Ron and Hermione looked at each other.

I glanced down at the floor and shifted uncomfortably. Why did Harry have to bring this up? I did not want to think about it. I could not consider the possibility. It was too much.

"Well..." Ron said, sounding thoroughly unconvinced.

"I think he just wanted to get out of there, Harry," Hermione said.

"He showed Borgin something we couldn't see," Harry pressed on stubbornly. "Something that seriously scared Borgin. It was the Mark, I know it--he was showing Borgin who he was dealing with, you saw how seriously Borgin took him!"

Ron and Hermione exchanged another look.

My heart began to beat quicker. Adding what Harry was saying to the way Draco had been treating me, it all – No. It was impossible.

"I'm not sure, Harry..." Hermione said.

"Yeah, I still don't reckon You-Know-Who would let Malfoy join..." Ron said.

Appearing annoyed, Harry snatched up a pile of filthy Quidditch robes and left the room.

There was a moment of silence. Then, Hermione asked very hesitantly, "Crystal, what do you think?"

It took a moment for me to respond. I did not look at them, but I could feel both pairs of eyes on me. I realized I had a certain power in this situation. They might not believe Harry alone, but I could confirm his suspicions. "Don't listen to Harry," I said at last. "It's ridiculous. He's just blinded by prejudice. He sees what he wants to see."

"That makes sense," Hermione said.

"That's probably right," Ron said.

I was glad when neither said another word on the subject. I did not want to talk about it anymore. _Of course_ Harry was crazy. _Of course_ Draco was not a Death Eater. I could not even consider the possibility. It could not be true because, if it was, my whole world would come crashing down, and that was not something with which I was willing to live.

***

The next was the trip to Hogwarts. I left Emily and Lizzie on their own, and I found a compartment with Luna, Neville, and Harry. Harry seemed to be quite popular now, and everyone was in awe of him because the prophecy had said he was the "chosen one." I zoned out of most of the conversations, instead focusing on the sound of the train rumbling along the tracks.

A little while later, Ron and Hermione entered the compartment, back from prefect duties. "Wish the lunch trolley would hurry up, I'm starving," Ron said longingly, slumping into the seat beside Harry and rubbing his stomach, while Hermione sat beside me. "Hi, Crystal. Hi, Neville. Hi, Luna. Guess what?" he added, turning to Harry. "Malfoy's not doing prefect duty. He's just sitting in his compartment with the other Slytherins, we saw him when we passed."

Like Harry, I immediately bolted up, all of my focus now turned on to Ron.

"What did he do when he saw you?" Harry asked.

"The usual," Ron said indifferently, demonstrating a rude hand gesture. "Not like him, though, is it? Well... that is"--he did the hand gesture again--"but why isn't he out there bullying first years?"

"Dunno," Harry said.

I could almost see his mind spinning, though, and I desperately wanted to say something to stop him.

"Maybe he preferred the Inquisitorial Squad," Hermione said. "Maybe being a prefect seems a bit tame after that."

"I don't think so," Harry said. "I think he's--"

I let out a sigh of relief when the compartment door opened and a breathless third year girl stepped inside. "I'm supposed to deliver these to Neville Longbottom, Crystal Hansen, and Harry P-Potter," she faltered as her eyes met Harry's and she turned scarlet. She was holding out three scrolls of parchment tied with violet ribbon. Harry, Neville, and I took the scroll addressed to each of us and the girl stumbled back out of the compartment.

"What is it?" Ron demanded.

"An invitation," Harry said.

I unrolled mine and looked it over curiously:

Crystal,

I would be delighted if you would join me for a bite of lunch in compartment C.

Sincerely, Professor H.E.F. Slughorn

"Who's Professor Slughorn?" Neville asked, looked perplexedly at his own invitation.

"New teacher," Harry said. "Well, I suppose we'll have to go, won't we?"

"But what does he want me for?" Neville asked nervously, as though he was expecting detention.

"No idea," Harry said. "Listen, let's go under the Invisibility Cloak, then we might get a good look at Malfoy on the way, see what he's up to."

I rolled my eyes at the suggestion. "Oh, come off it, Harry. Can't you just leave him alone?"

Harry gave me an indignant look. Luckily, the hallway was way too packed with students waiting for the lunch trolley for the idea to be effective anyway. The three of us strode down the corridor until we found the correct compartment.

We were not the only ones Slughorn had invited to lunch. I recognized Blaise and Ginny, and then there were two seventh years I did not recognize.

"Harry, m'boy!" said Slughorn, jumping up at the sight of him. "Good to see you, good to see you! And you must be Mr. Longbottom and Miss Hansen!"

Neville nodded, looking scared. I gave the teacher a slight smile. At a gesture from Slughorn, we sat down in the only three empty seats, which were nearest the door.

"Now, do you know everyone?" Slughorn asked us. "Blaise Zabini is in your year, of course--"

I gave Blaise a small smile, but he turned his head away. I felt a little hurt. I thought we had gotten along pretty well when I was hanging out with the Slytherins. Had the whole house turned against me now?

"This is Cormac McLaggen, perhaps you've come across each other--? No?"

McLaggen, a large, wiry-haired youth, raised a hand, and Harry, Neville, and I nodded back at him.

"--and this is Marcus Belby, I don't know whether--?"

Belby, who was thin and nervous-looking, gave a strained smile.

"--and this charming young lady tells me she knows you!" Slughorn finished.

Ginny grimaced at Harry, Neville, and me from behind Slughorn's back.

"Well now, this is most pleasant," Slughorn said cozily. "A chance to get to know you all a little better. Here, take a napkin. I've packed my own lunch; the trolley, as I remember it, is heavy on Licorice Wands, and a poor old man's digestive system isn't quite up to such things... Pheasant, Belby?"

Belby started and accepted what looked like half a cold pheasant.

"I was just telling young Marcus here that I had the pleasure of teaching his Uncle Damocles," Slughorn told Harry, Neville and me, now passing around a basket of rolls. "Outstanding wizard, outstanding, and his Order of Merlin most well-deserved. Do you see much of your uncle, Marcus?"

From what I could gather from Slughorn's following questions, everyone had been invited into the compartment because they were connected to someone well-known or influential. Well, all except Ginny and me. I looked up in interest when it was my turn to be interviewed.

"Crystal Hansen," Slughorn said, smiling pleasantly, "it was an honor to teach your father. He is a very extraordinary wizard. And I heard you're even better than him at potions."

I blushed slightly and looked down. "Well, I suppose."

"I'm sure you'll be going far. And your mother is from America?"

"So am I," I said. "I went to school in Minnesota until my fourth year."

"Fascinating," Slughorn said. "Tell me more about your experience in the States..."

*

Once at Hogwarts, I found a seat next to Ginny, who was sitting beside her boyfriend, Dean. I eagerly awaited the sorting. The Hat gave another warning to unite in the face of enemies. Then the nervous first years stepped up to the stool one-by-one and tried on the hat. Finally, it was my sister's turn.

The Hat was on Lizzie's head for about 30 seconds before it called out: "HUFFLEPUFF!"

I smiled and clapped along with everyone else as Lizzie went to join Emily at the Hufflepuff table. Hufflepuff definitely suited my youngest sister. I had a feeling my mom would have been sorted there was well. I wondered why I had not been sorted into Ravenclaw like my dad. I certainly would have fit the oddball stereotype with my strange ideas about the houses. I wondered what would have happened between Draco and me if I had been in Ravenclaw. Would we have even cared to interact with each other?

I was highly distracted during the feat, and I did not eat much. I looked up at the staff table once Dumbledore addressed the students:  
"The very best of evenings to you!" He smiled broadly, his arms opened wide as though to embrace the whole room.

I was shocked at the sight of his right hand. It was blackened and dead-looking. What on earth had happened? Whispers swept the room; Dumbledore, interpreting them correctly, merely smiled and shook his purple-and-gold sleeve over his injury.

"Nothing to worry about," he said airily. "Now ... to our new students, welcome, to our old students, welcome back! Another year full of magical education awaits you. Mr. Filch, our caretaker, has asked me to say that there is a blanket ban on any joke items bought at the shop called Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

"Those wishing to play for their House Quidditch teams should give their names to their Heads of House as usual. We are also looking for new Quidditch commentators, who should do likewise.

"We are pleased to welcome a new member of staff this year. Professor Slughorn." Slughorn stood up, "is a former colleague of mine who has agreed to resume his old post of Potions master."

My head shot up at this. Potions? What in the world-? I could hear others muttering in surprise as well.

"Professor Snape, meanwhile," Dumbledore said, raising voice so that it carried over all the muttering, "will be taking the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

"No!" Harry said loudly.

I turned to look at him with raised eyebrows, and others did the same. I knew he hated Snape, but was the news really that bad?

Snape, who was sitting on Dumbledore's right, did not stand up his mention of his name; he merely raised a hand in lazy acknowledgment of the applause from the Slytherin table. I politely applauded as well, receiving sharp looks from my fellow Gryffindors.

Dumbledore cleared his throat to cut off the conversations that had erupted. "Now, as everybody in this Hall knows, Lord Voldemort and his followers are once more at large and gaining in strength."

There was silence. I noticed Harry glance over at the Slytherin table, and I did the same. Draco was not looking at Dumbledore but making his fork hover in midair with his wand. He seemed as distracted as I had been earlier.

"I cannot emphasize strongly enough how dangerous the present situation is, and how much care each of us at Hogwarts must take to ensure that we remain safe. The castle's magical fortifications have been strengthened over the summer, we are protected in new and more powerful ways, but we must still guard scrupulously against carelessness on the part of any student or member of staff. I urge you, therefore, to abide by any security restrictions that you teachers might impose upon you, however irksome you might find them--in particular, the rule that you are not to be out of bed after hours. I implore you, should you notice anything strange or suspicious within or outside the castle, to report it to a member of staff immediately. I trust you to conduct yourselves, always, with the utmost regard for your own and others' safety."

Dumbledore's blue eyes swept over the students before he smiled once more. "But now, your beds await, as warm and comfortable as you could possibly wish, and I know that your top priority is to be well-rested for your lessons tomorrow. Let us therefore say good night. Pip pip!"

I was quick to stand up and start for the Entrance Hall. I had to catch Draco before he reached his common room. I had to talk to him. I could see him in front of me, heading for the dungeons.

Before I could descend the stairs, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I spun around to see Snape. "Let me go!" I cried.

"The last time I checked, Miss Hansen, this is not the way to Gryffindor Tower," Snape said coldly.

"I know," I said, panic rising in my chest, "but I've got to talk to Draco!"

"You can talk to him in the morning. Off to bed!"

I clenched my teeth in frustration. I looked down the stairs, but Draco had disappeared with the crowd. I had no choice but to turn around and begin walking back to my own common room. I would have to catch Draco after a class the next day and demand an explanation for everything that had been going on. 


	42. Breaking Down

After breakfast on Monday, the fifth years waited for the head of their house to sort out our schedules. It needed to be confirmed that everyone had received the necessary O.W.L. grades to continue with our chosen N.E.W.T. classes.

When Professor McGonagall got to me, she looked over at my application and then peered at my O.W.L. results. "Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Herbology, Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures, and Potions... all very good." She tapped a blank schedule and handed it to me. "You may go."

Harry and Ron stared at me incredulously. "You're taking Care of Magical Creatures?" Harry said.

I shrugged. "I actually enjoy that class."

"You would," Ron said.

I frowned at him but did not ask him to clarify. I glanced down at my schedule. I had a free period before Defense Against the Dark Arts with Professor Snape. Excellent. I whisked off back to Gryffindor Tower to rest before class.

At 10:30, I arrived at the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Hermione, Harry, and Ron were already lined up, and I stood behind them.

I few seconds later, the door opened and Snape appeared. "Inside," he said.

I looked around as I entered. Snape had changed the appearance of the room. Curtains had been drawn over the windows, and the room was lit by candlelight. New pictures adorned the walls, many of them showing people who appeared to be in pain, sporting grisly injuries or strangely contorted body parts. Nobody spoke as we all settled down, looking around at the shadowy, gruesome pictures.

"I have not asked you to take out your books," Snape said, closing the door and moving to face the class from behind his desk; Hermione hastily dropped her copy of Confronting the Faceless back into her bag and stowed it under her chair. "I wish to speak to you, and I want your fullest attention."

His yes roamed across our faces. "You have had five teachers in this subject so far, I believe. Naturally, these teachers will all have had their own methods and priorities. Given this confusion I am surprised so many of you scraped an O.W.L. in this subject. I shall be even more surprised if all of you manage to keep up with the N.E.W.T. work, which will be more advanced."

Snape set off around the edge of the room, speaking now in a lower voice; I craned my neck to keep him in view. "The Dark Arts," Snape said, "are many, varied, ever-changing, and eternal. Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head even fiercer and cleverer than before. You are fighting that which is unfixed, mutating, indestructible."

"Your defenses," Snape said, a little louder, "must therefore be as flexible and inventive as the arts you seek to undo. These pictures," he indicated a few of them as he swept past, "give a fair representation of what happens to those who suffer, for instance, the Cruciatus Curse" (he waved a hand toward a witch who was clearly shrieking in agony) "feel the Dementor's Kiss" (a wizard lying huddled and blank-eyed, slumped against a wall) "or provoke the aggression of the Inferius" (a bloody mass upon ground).

"Has an Inferius been seen, then?" said Parvati Patil in a high pitched voice. "Is it definite, is he using them?"

"The Dark Lord has used Inferi in the past," Snape said, "which means you would be well-advised to assume he might use them again. Now..." He set off again around the other side of the classroom toward his desk. "... you are, I believe, complete novices in the use of non-verbal spells. What is the advantage of a non-verbal spell?"

Hermione's hand shot into the air. Snape took his time looking around at everybody else, making sure he had no choice, before saying curtly, "Very well--Miss Granger?"

"Your adversary has no warning about what kind of magic you're about to perform," said Hermione, "which gives you a split-second advantage."

"An answer copied almost word for word from The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Six," Snape said dismissively (over in the corner, Draco sniggered), "but correct in essentials. Yes, those who progress in using magic without shouting incantations gain an element of surprise in their spell-casting. Not all wizards can do this, of course; it is a question of concentration and mind power which some lack."

"You will now divide," Snape went on, "into pairs. One partner will attempt to jinx the other without speaking. The other will attempt to repel the jinx in equal silence. Carry on."

I paired off with Hermione. Many students were secretly whispering spells, but I did not have the strength to even do that. Instead, I weakly attempted to cast spells without speaking. At one point, however, I ended up grimacing from the effort.

"Are you alright?" Hermione asked in concern.

I took deep breaths to calm myself. I glanced across the room at Draco and felt my heart twist painfully. Then my eyes landed on Snape. Even though this was not Potions class, I still felt a need to impress him, so I turned to Hermione, sucked in a sharp breath, and said, "I'm fine. Let's go again."

Hermione eventually succeeded in repelling my Jelly-Legs Jinx without uttering a single word, but Snape did not even notice. I was too tired to care myself. By the end of class, though, I knew what I had to do.

I waited until I saw Draco exciting the classroom, and I dashed after him. "Draco!" I called. I caught up to him just outside the door. As soon as I grabbed onto his left wrist, he jerked his arm away from me so forcefully that it was as if I had burned him.

"Don't touch me!" he snarled.

I stepped back, startled at his reaction. "I just-"

"Miss Hansen," Snape said from behind me. "Leave Mr. Malfoy alone."

As Draco slipped off, I turned to stare at Snape incredulously. "What? B-but I have to talk to him!" I thought he supported us. Why was he getting in the way now?

"If it is so urgent, then I suggest you send him an owl requesting a time to talk," Snape said coolly.

I blinked. That was actually a pretty good idea. If Draco refused to listen to me, perhaps I could make him read what I had to say. "Oh, ok. Thanks, professor." I gave him a weak smile before turning and hurrying down the hall.

I was glad I had a break now. I was able to quickly write up a quick note asking Draco to please meet me in the Room of Requirement for an urgent talk after dinner the next day, just to give him time to think about it.

After sending the owl, I had Arithmancy with Hermione, which went well. Then it was time for Care of Magical Creatures, in which there were only a handful of students. Hagrid was disappointed that Harry, Ron, and Hermione were not there, but I assured him that it was nothing personal.

Afterwards, I had double Potions, which, of course, I was looking forward too. As I reached the dungeons, I could see that only 12 other students were taking the class: Harry, Hermione, Ron, four Slytherins including Draco, four Ravenclaws, and one Hufflepuff, Ernie Macmillan. Draco was obviously avoiding my gaze, and I was unsure if he had received my owl yet.

Once Slughorn let us inside the classroom, we all found tables. Everyone sat according to house, and Ernie was forced to pull up a chair alongside the Gryffindors. Our table was near a gold-colored cauldron that was emitting a very seductive scent. It smelled like various scents I had come across in America, and also... Draco Malfoy. The scent was almost overwhelming, and it caused me to lean forward as a great yearning took over me. Draco...

"Now then, now then, now then," Slughorn said. "Scales out, everyone, and potion kits, and don't forget your copies of Advanced Potion-Making..."

"Sir?" Harry said, raising his hand.

"Harry, m'boy?"

"I haven't got a book or scales or anything--nor's Ron--we didn't realize we'd be able to do the N.E.W.T., you see--"

"Ah, yes, Professor McGonagall did mention... not to worry, my dear boy, not to worry at all. You can use ingredients from the store cupboard today, and I'm sure we can lend you some scales, and we've got a small stock of old books here, they'll do until you can write to Flourish and Blotts..." Slughorn strode over to a corner cupboard and, after a moment's foraging, emerged with two very battered-looking copies of Advanced Potion-Making by Libatius Borage, which he gave to Harry and Ron along with two sets of tarnished scales.

"Now then," said Slughorn, returning to the front of the class, "I've prepared a few potions for you to have a look at, just out of interest, you know. These are the kind of thing you ought to be able to make after completing your N.E.W.T.s. You ought to have heard of 'em, even if you haven't made 'em yet. Anyone tell me what this one is?" He indicated the cauldron nearest the Slytherin table.

Hermione's hand hit the air before anybody else's; Slughorn pointed at her. "It's Veritaserum, a colorless, odorless potion that forces the drinker to tell the truth," she said.

"Very good, very good!" Slughorn said happily. "Now," he continued, pointing at the cauldron nearest the Ravenclaw table, "this one here is pretty well known... Featured in a few Ministry leaflets lately too... Who can--?"

Hermione's hand was fastest once more. "lt's Polyjuice Potion, sir," she said.

"Excellent, excellent! Now, this one here... yes, my dear?" Slughorn said, now looking slightly bemused, as Hermione's hand punched the air again.

"It's Amortentia!"

"It is indeed. It seems almost foolish to ask," said Slughorn, who was looking mightily impressed, "but I assume you know what it does?"

"It's the most powerful love potion in the world!" Hermione said.

"Quite right! You recognized it, I suppose, by its distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen?"

"And the steam rising in characteristic spirals," Hermione said enthusiastically, "and it's supposed to smell differently to each of according to what attracts us, and I can smell freshly mown grass and new parchment and-" But she turned slightly pink and did not complete the sentence.

My head had shot up at its description. It smells like what attracts us? Well, that explained a lot... I resisted the urge to look over at Draco. I wondered what it would smell like for him.

"May I ask your name, my dear?" Slughorn said, ignoring Hermione's embarrassment.

"Hermione Granger, sir."

"Granger? Granger? Can you possibly be related to Hector Dagworth-Granger, who founded the Most Extraordinary Society of Potioneers?"

"No. I don't think so, sir. I'm Muggleborn, you see."

Slughorn showed no dismay; on the contrary, he beamed and looked from Hermione to Harry, who was sitting next to her. "Oho! 'One of my best friends is Muggleborn, and she's the best in our year!' I'm assuming this is the very friend of whom you spoke, Harry?"

I found myself smiling, glad that everyone could see that there was at least one Slytherin who proved that they were not all the same.

"Yes, sir," Harry said.

"Well, well, take twenty well-earned points for Gryffindor, Miss Granger," Slughorn said genially. "Amortentia doesn't really create love, of course. It is impossible to manufacture or imitate love. No, this will simply cause a powerful infatuation or obsession. It is probably the most dangerous and powerful potion in this room--oh yes," he said, nodding gravely at Draco and Nott, both of whom were smirking skeptically. "When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love...

"And now," Slughorn said, "it is time for us to start work."

"Sir, you haven't told us what's in this one," Ernie Macmillan said, pointing at a small black cauldron standing on Slughorn's desk. The potion within was splashing about merrily; it was the color of molten gold, and large drops were leaping like goldfish above the surface, though not a particle had spilled.

"Oho," Slughorn said again. "Yes. That. Well, that one, ladies and gentlemen, is a most curious little potion called Felix Felicis. I take it," he turned, smiling, to look at Hermione, who had let out an audible gasp, "that you know what Felix Felicis does, Miss Granger?"

"It's liquid luck," Hermione said excitedly. "It makes you lucky!"

The whole class seemed to sit up a little straighter. I could see that Draco was at last giving Slughorn his full and undivided attention, as was I. A lucky potion... That was exactly what I needed!

"Quite right, take another ten points for Gryffindor. Yes, it's a funny little potion, Felix Felicis," Slughorn said. "Desperately tricky to make, and disastrous to get wrong. However, if brewed correctly, as this has been, you will find that all your endeavors tend to succeed ... at least until the effects wear off."

"Why don't people drink it all the time, sir?" Terry Boot said eagerly.

"Because if taken in excess, it causes giddiness, recklessness, and dangerous overconfidence," Slughorn said. "Too much of a good thing, you know... highly toxic in large quantities. But taken sparingly, and very occasionally..."

"Have you ever taken it, sir?" Michael Corner asked with great interest.

"Twice in my life," Slughorn said. "Once when I was twenty-four, once when I was fifty-seven. Two tablespoonfuls taken with breakfast. Two perfect days." He gazed dreamily into the distance. "And that," he said, apparently coming back to earth, "is what I shall be offering as a prize in this lesson."

There was silence in which every bubble and gurgle of the surrounding potions seemed magnified tenfold.

"One tiny bottle of Felix Felicis," Slughorn said, taking a minuscule glass bottle with a cork in it out of his pocket and showing it to them all. "Enough for twelve hours' luck. From dawn till dusk, you will be lucky in everything you attempt.

"Now, I must give you warning that Felix Felicis is a banned substance in organized competition... sporting events, for instance, examinations, or elections. So the winner is to use it on an ordinary day only... and watch how that ordinary day becomes extraordinary!

"So," Slughorn said, suddenly brisk, "how are you to win this fabulous prize? Well, by turning to page ten of Advanced Potion Making. We have a little over an hour left to us, which should be time for you to make a decent attempt at the Draught of Living Death. I know it is more complex than anything you have attempted before, and I do not expect a perfect potion from anybody. The person who does best, however, will win little Felix here. Off you go!"

I immediately gathered everything I would need, my heart beating excitedly. I was sure I would win that prize. I was the best one at potions in the class. Snape had pretty much said so himself. How could I lose? And once I had it... I would be able to figure out how to fix what had gone suddenly wrong in my life.

The potion did turn out to be very hard. I knew I was not getting it perfect, but I was bound to be better than everyone else in the class. Then I saw Harry's potion. It looked exactly like it was supposed to.

"How are you doing that?" Hermione demanded.

"Add a clockwise stir--" Harry started to say.

"No, no, the book says counterclockwise!" she snapped.

My eyes narrowed into slits, and Harry looked away uncomfortably. I knew what he was doing. But... how? No one else in the class except me had the skill to make the necessary changes to the instructions. Something was definitely up. I tried not to think about it much and focused on my own potion.

"And time's... up!" Slughorn called a little while later. "Stop stirring, please!"

Slughorn moved slowly among the tables, peering into cauldrons. He made no comment but occasionally gave the potions a stir or a sniff. At last he reached our table. He smiled ruefully at the tarlike substance in Ron's cauldron. He passed over Ernie's navy concoction. Hermione's potion he gave an approving nod. He smiled and nodded at mine. Then he saw Harry's, and a look of incredulous delight spread over his face.

"The clear winner!" he cried to the dungeon. "Excellent, excellent, Harry! Good lord, it's clear you've inherited your mother's talent. She was a dab hand at Potions, Lily was! Here you are, then, here you are--one bottle of Felix Felicis, as promised, and use it well!"

Harry slipped the tiny bottle of golden liquid into his inner pocket. The Slytherins had furious looks on their faces that mirrored mine. Hermione looked disappointed, and Ron looked simply dumbfounded.

At dinner, I demanded to know how he had done it. I sat across the table form him, glaring at him.

"My Potions book just had some helpful hints," Harry said, seeming uncomfortable with my glare.

"Helpful... hints?" I hissed.

Harry explained how the previous owner of his book had scribbled all over the pages, making suggestions and improvements to the written instructions. Harry had simply followed these notes, and his potion had turned out perfect. Hermione did not seem happy with the story either.

"I suppose you think I've cheated?" Harry said once he had finished.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Of course you have! That prize should have been mine, and you know it."

"Well, take it then," Harry said, reaching his hand into his robes.

"No!" I cried, waving him away. "That's not the point!"

Hermione cast me a sympathetic look, but I was still too angry to respond.

***

I waited anxiously in the Room of Requirement after dinner the next day. I had been nervous the whole day. Would Draco even come? He was always on time, but almost 15 minutes had passed, and he was still not there. I was just about to give up on him when the door opened. The sight of Draco caused my heart to nearly leap out of my chest.

His demeanor was cold and reserved. He would not look at me directly. "What is it you want?" he asked in a low voice.

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and prayed for courage. "I need answers, Draco." My voice was surprisingly steady. "You can't just shut me out like this. What am I supposed to think? I know something happened over the summer. Can't you tell me what's wrong?"

Draco did not respond for a minute. When he did speak, he continued to stare at the floor. "I'm sorry," he said in a carefully controlled voice. "I did not know what to say." He looked up at me now, and his expression hardened. "Something has happened. I've finally realized what you have known for a long time but which I refused to see. You had a right to fear the darkness. You should flee because you can... but I can't."

"No!" I cried in alarm. "It's not too late for you either. I can help you."

"You can't," Draco growled. His eyes flashed with something that made me shiver. He took a step closer to me. "I don't want you to. This is my world, and you do not belong in it."

I stared at him with my mouth partly open, still confused. "What? I don't understand."

"We were fools to think this could go on for so long," Draco said darkly. "We should have ended it when we had the chance. I'm sorry for not doing so myself. It would have been better for both of us."

"No," I said stubbornly, shaking my head. "It would not have been better. I love you."

Draco seemed to flinch when I said this, and he looked away again. "That's not good enough anymore," he murmured. "It will kill us."

"You're still not making any sense!" I cried. "What's wrong?"

When Draco looked at me again, his eyes were cold and lifeless. "You're no good for me," he said darkly. He strode towards me, stopping when he was a couple of feet away. "You need to go. You're just making everything harder. It hurts too much to feel, to care."

"Like you can turn it off?" I said incredulously.

"I can," Draco said, his lip curling into a snarl. "I've had years of practice."

A shiver ran down my spine and all the way throughout my body. I did not like this. He was acting cold because it hurt not to? That seemed wrong, but I could not find a good argument against it. My parents had warned me about my emotions. They had been wrong because... "Draco..." I said quietly. "Do you love me?"

Draco seemed surprised at the question, but then his face grew dark again as he stared at me for awhile. "No," he finally said, speaking very deliberately. "I do not."

He had never given me any indication otherwise, but his answer still felt like a blow. I bit my lip and looked away; it was hard to keep my body from trembling. "Oh. Well..." I needed to say something else. I could not let this happen. I could not handle losing him, not after everything we had been through. I looked back at him, sorrow in my eyes. "You can't leave me."

Draco's expression did not change. "I can and I am. You'll be better off without me. Stay out of trouble. I would advise you to go back to America if you can. This does not have to be your battle, but if you want to make it yours, then stay on your side. Do not come near me. Do not try to talk to me or I will have to treat you like I do everyone else in Gryffindor."

I shudder passed through. I knew that was something I did not want to experience. "Can't we work this out?" I asked desperately.

"No," Draco said, turning away from me. "I don't know what my future holds, but you were never supposed to be in it. Goodbye, Crystal." He started walking towards the door.

My heart beat quickly in panic. How could this be happening? "You promised!" I cried out in one last futile attempt to change his mind. My words caused him to stop. "You promised you would stay with me," I repeated in a shaky voice. "You said we would work through anything that came our way together."

Draco turned his head to look at me. "It would not be the first time I have broken a promise," he said coolly, no sign of emotion in his face. "Wake up and face reality, little girl." He paused. "I already have."

Then he was gone.


	43. Pain

I did not expect the pain to be so strong. Draco and I had broken up twice in the past, but it had never felt like this. It was different this time. It felt more final and more dangerous. It was like I had rammed into a wall that had suddenly sprung up between us overnight, and I was becoming bloody by trying to knock it down.

Ginny, Hermione, Ron, and Harry were lounging in the common room by the time I returned. They looked up at me when I entered.

"Crystal, where have you been?" Hermione asked with a frown. "You've almost missed curfew."

"Who cares?" I muttered.

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "It's for your own safety."

"Yeah, well, I don't really care about that right now." It hurt. The pain was the only thing I could think about. It was drowning me.

"Are you alright?" Ginny said.

"No!" I exclaimed, my skin growing hot and prickly.

Harry blinked. "What's wrong? Are you still mad about Potions class?"

"Yes!" I snarled, rounding on him. "But it's more than just that! Everything's not about you, you know!"

Ron stared at me oddly. "What's got your knickers in a twist?"

"It's none of your business!" I retorted. I let out a frustrated groan. "I can't take this." It was all too much. I turned and dashed for the stairs. Once I found my room, I slammed the door shut. I could feel everything bubbling to the surface, threatening to spill over.

After sitting on my bed, I clutched at my pendant. It made me angry, so I took it off and threw it onto the floor. It was not _fair_. Why was the world doing this to me? Why was _he_ doing this to me, after all I had done for him? It was not fair that he could just turn off his emotions and I was left to be haunted by mine for eternity. Where the justice?

"Meow?"

My eyes darted to Snowflake. He was giving me a look I understood. "No!"I growled.

Snowflake sat down, curling his tail around his feet, and gave me a sad look. "Meow."

"He's not coming back!" I exclaimed, leaping up from the bed. "Go away, you stupid cat!"

Frightened, Snowflake ran and hid behind Crookshanks, who hissed at me for yelling at his friend. Hermione and Ginny had just walked into the room.

"Don't take it out on the cat," Ginny said while Hermione bent down to calm Crookshanks and Snowflake.

My anger slipped away at their presence. I fell back onto my bed and sighed. "I'm sorry," I murmured.

"Do you want to tell us what happened?" Ginny asked in a gentler tone. Her eyes fell to the floor as if she had seen something. Looking back at me, she said, "It's Draco, isn't it?"

I nodded without saying a word.

"What happened?" Hermione said as she stood up. "Did he break up with you?"

"If only he had done just that," I groaned, shutting my eyes from the pain. When I opened them again, they were blurred with tears. I had to tell them. They were not like the boys; they would be able to sympathize with me if only because I was their friend. I took a deep breath before explaining everything that had happened between Draco and me since I had come back from my trip to America.

Ginny and Hermione had both taken a bed, and they were staring at me with a mix of compassion and concern.

"I don't understand," Ginny said when I had finished. "I know why you would break up with him, but why would he do this to you? It looked to me like he adored you."

"Well..." Hermione said with a small frown. "This _is_ Malfoy..."

"Then let me tell you something else," I said, my eyes suddenly clear and focused. I _needed_ to make her understand. "At the end of last year, when we were caught in Umbridge's office, Draco let me go without fighting, remember?" The two girls nodded their heads slowly, clearly not seeing where this was going. "And then when we were at the Ministry, Lucius Malfoy had a chance to attack me, but he didn't. He let me go too because of my love for his son. And I had been sure he hated me. Then, when I got of the Hogwarts Express, I told his mother the same thing, and she told me to look out for him." I paused. "It doesn't sound like a passing fancy to me."

"That is odd," Hermione said with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Right before we left, Draco and I promised we would stay together and work through whatever came our way," I said. "I told him I would not leave him, and he seemed almost offended by the suggestion that he would ever leave me. Something must have happened during the summer. Something that scared him away from me and made him pretend to not care about me, actually not care, or wish he did not care." I was not sure which one it was, and I was not in the best state to deliberate about it.

"Crystal," Hermione said slowly, "do you think that, maybe, Harry's speculation-"

"No!" I said suddenly, my heart beating quicker. "That can't – No."

"What does Harry think?" Ginny asked.

Hermione shook her head. "Ask Harry if you want to know. I do not want to say it out loud if it's going to upset Crystal."

I crossed my arms and glared at the floor angrily. "He doesn't have any proof."

"Well, there is one thing he hasn't told you," Hermione said hesitantly.

My head shot up. "What?"

"On the train, he used his Invisibility Cloak to eavesdrop on Malfoy..."

"What?!" I exclaimed. "I told him not to!"

"And Harry has listened to you before?" Ginny said with raised eyebrows.

"Anyway," Hermione said, "he heard him say something that might be a little unsettling. I'm not sure I should tell you."

"You have to tell me now. What is it?"

Hermione but her lip. "I don't know if you can handle it right now."

"My imagination will think up worse scenarios," I growled. "Just tell me."

"I think you should," Ginny said.

Hermione let out a short sigh. "Well, Harry heard Malfoy say that You-Know-Who had given him a special job to fulfill."

For a full minute, I sat there, feeling numb. My mind had temporarily turned off, and I was not eager to allow it to start racing. "And what do you think about this?" I asked in a surprisingly calm voice.

Hermione was watching me carefully, and I could tell this was not the response she had expected. "I am not sure," she said. "It does seem highly unlikely that he would be given a job at 16, but I also find it improbably for him to make up something so big."

"Maybe it wasn't – You-Know-Who," I said, for once not being able to say his name, "who gave him the job. Maybe a Death eater told him to do something. He could just have been embellishing."

"That does seem more probable," Hermione said.

"There are likely many situations like that which we cannot think of right now," Ginny added. "We don't have to assume the worst."

"I do think Harry needs to just drop it," Hermione said.

The pain started to return as I stared at the floor. I watched Snowflake pick up my pendant and trot over to me. I gingerly took the necklace from his mouth. "It hurts too much," I murmured. I slipped the necklace around my neck. "But the worst part is, I think _he_ is hurting too. Whatever has happened, I don't think it's good for him, and he knows it."I hesitated. "Even if Harry is right, I think... It would have been... forced... on him. Draco may be many things, but he is not a dark wizard."

"I don't think so either," Hermione said softly. "It doesn't fit."

"Agreed," Ginny said.

I let out a heavy sigh. "I just wish he'd let me be there for him." I opened my arms and Snowflake jumped into my lap, forgiving me for my earlier attitude. "I'm sorry, kitty," I murmured, stroking him with both my hands. "You know I love you."

After a minute, Hermione said, "Did Draco give you Snowflake?"

I glanced up at her, a little startled by the question. "Yes. How did you know?"

Hermione shrugged and gave me a small smile. "Just a guess."

***

The pain remained at the same intensity throughout the rest of the week, though Harry's Potions antics did not make it any better. He continued to take advice from the book, Slughorn was raving about Harry's abilities, saying that he had rarely taught anyone so talented. I was furious. Hermione and Ron were not too happy with him either. I did not have enough energy to yell at him, so I sat as far away from him as possible at our table and shot him occasional glares. Despite the pain, I was motivated to perform better than him.

I had to study. I had loads of homework. My ambition for my other classes, however, seemed to have drained out of me. I would not have gotten anything done at all if Hermione was not constantly pestering me. By Saturday evening, however, I was too tired to go on. I lay on my back on the couch with my eyes closed while Hermione, Harry, and Ron attempted to study. I was clutching my pendant in my hand so tightly that it hurt.

"Crystal, you're bleeding," I heard Harry say form near the couch.

"Good," I muttered.

"What's wrong with you?" Ron said.

My eyes snapped open when I felt Harry trying to pry my hand open. "No!" I growled, pulling it out of reach.

"Something's wrong with you," Harry said. "You need help."

Irritation rolled over me. "You want to help me? Get rid of that book!"

"No!"

"Harry's right," Hermione said with concern in her voice. "Ginny says you're not eating much."

"I'm not hungry," I said. Every time I tried to eat something, it made my stomach feel sick. Just the smell of food made me nauseous.  
"You need to talk to someone. This isn't healthy."

I sat up and frowned at her. "Well, there's not exactly many wizard psychologists around here, is there?"

"Well, no," Hermione said, "but..." I saw her looking at Harry out of the corner of her eye. "Harry! You should bring her to see Dumbledore!"

"What would Dumbledore be able to do?" Ron asked in confusion.

"I don't know," Hermione said. "He's just someone to talk to. Someone more... objective."

"That's true," I said.

"And he's had many experiences. He might understand what you're going through. Better than all of us, anyway."

"I'm supposed to meet Dumbledore right now for special lessons," Harry said. "I can't bring Crystal."

"She can wait for you outside," Hermione said. "She would be doing the same thing if she were in here."

"True," I said, still clutching my pendant.

Harry let out a sigh. "Fine. Let's go."

I glanced when Hermione gently touched the hand that was holding the necklace. I hesitated before letting her unfold it and pick up the pendant. She frowned at the blood. "You can't go to Dumbledore like this." She took out her wand and muttered a spelled. Instantly, the wounds healed and the blood dried up. Then she took the necklace and put it around my neck. "There."

"Thanks," I mumbled. I got up and followed Harry out the door.

Dumbledore's office was on the seventh floor. We stopped at a place where a gargoyle stood against a wall. "Wait here," Harry said. He muttered something the gargoyle slid aside.

I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. I did not know how much time had passed before I heard movement again. I jumped to the side and saw Harry reappear.

"You can go in now," he told me. "He's expecting you."

I was still unsure about this plan, but I slid in past the gargoyle before it closed again. I could not remember ever meeting Professor Dumbledore. I had only seen him from a distance and heard what he was like from my friends and family. My dad had seemed to like him quite a bit. I wondered if he would even remember who I was.

I ascended the spiral staircase, which led to a door. I took a deep breath before knocking.

"Come in," a voice said.

I opened the door and walked inside. "I'm sorry, professor," I said. "I know it's late, but this was Hermione's idea, and-"

"It is quite alright, Miss Hansen," Dumbledore said with a smile. "Harry told me about you. We can spare a few minutes to chat."

I blinked. "Oh. Ok."

"Sit down," Dumbledore said, motioning to the chair in front of his desk. Once I had done so, he continued, "Ah, Crystal Hansen. I was wondering when I would have the pleasure to meet you. I remember your father quite well. He was a very gifted student."

I smiled slightly and nodded, not sure what to say.

"And I've heard you've made quite a ruckus trying to unite the houses," the headmaster said with a smile, his eyes lingering on my pendant.

I glanced down and noticed that Hermione had let the Slytherin side show; I touched it unconsciously.

"I was at the Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch match last year, you see. It's rare to see a spectacle like that. Many people were quite stunned."

I frowned as the memory was brought back to the front of my mind. I had not thought of that day in awhile. Draco and I had both acted out of instinct to protect the other, not caring who saw. Where had that gone? I felt my throat begin to close. "That's the problem, you see," I managed to choke out. "It's all come to nothing. The Slytherins have gone back to hating me, and Draco-" I wave of pain hit me, and I was unable to continue. I gripped the arms of the chair tightly and took deep breaths.

"Yes?" Dumbledore prompted gently. "Has something happened? You two seemed quite close. It was inspiring, actually. The Sorting Hat would be pleased." He smiled to himself.

"Y-yes. S-something has happened," I said, trying to stop my body and voice from shaking. "He's cut me off. He's acting like I never meant anything to him." I swallowed. "It h-hurts!"

Dumbledore was now gazing at me with compassion in his eyes. I could see that he understood. "I see," he murmured.

"I-I thought love was supposed to be good. It's supposed to heal, bring life. But right now, it just feels like it's killing me." I shut my eyes for a few seconds and breathed deeply.

"What is it that hurts?" said Dumbledore. "Being apart?"

I shook my head. "We've been apart before. The way he's acting cold to me makes it worse, but-" I sucked in a sharp breath. Was it safe to go on? I felt like I could trust him. Maybe he could help. "What hurts most is thinking that he's in trouble and not being able to help him. I don't know what kind of mess he's gotten himself into, but it hurts to think about it. It hurts to not be there for him. And I-I don't think I've allowed myself to feel all of the pain because I know it could be so much worse... for him." I could not stop the shaking now; my eyes had widened in terror.

Dumbledore seemed to be contemplating something. "Love tests the best in us," he said after a minute in silence. "It's up to you to decide if it's worth it."

I nodded. I had never even considered the question because it was obvious. How could I stop loving Draco? Why would I _wan_t to?

Dumbledore smiled at me sympathetically. "I wish there was a magical cure I could give you, but there is not. If Draco will not let you in, there is not much you can do but hope he changes his mind." He paused. "However, there may be ways to make the pain easier to bear. Focus on your studies, for instance. I heard you have a knack for potions."

I frowned as I thought of Harry. "Yes. It's hard to get used to a new teacher, though, no offense to Professor Slughorn."

"I understand," Dumbledore said, smiling in a way that suggested he knew something that I did not. "Professor Snape told me that he offered his help to you last year. Is this correct?"

I blinked. "Yes. But he's not teaching Potions anymore, so I thought-"

"I'm sure he will not mind," Dumbledore said. "He might even enjoy the chance to temporarily share his expertise in another subject. I would talk to him. It is likely he will be able to do more for you than I can."

"Ok," I said, slightly confused. "I will."

Dumbledore smiled. "Good. Now, you best be off to bed."

I nodded as I stood up. "Alright. Thank you, professor."

"Anytime."

After entering the hallway, I was surprised to see that Harry was still there. "I thought you would have gone back," I said.

"I did not think you should walk back alone," Harry said somewhat awkwardly.

I blinked, surprised. "Oh. Thanks."

Harry smiled slightly. "Right." We started off together. "What did he say to you?"

"He thinks I should take private Potions lessons with Snape," I said. "It will help me cope or something."

Harry appeared bewildered. "Snape? Sounds more like a punishment to me!"

I looked at him oddly. "I like Professor Snape."

Now Harry looked even more confused; he stared at me incredulously. "What's with you and people I hate?"

"It's not personal, Harry!" Then, for some reason, I found the situation funny, and I laughed.

After a second, Harry cracked a grin. We did not discuss the issue further. 


	44. Private Lessons

I slept in on Monday and missed breakfast. It was alright because I had a free period and I doubted I would have been able to eat much anyway. Someone, I survived another lesson of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Not long ago, I would have been thrilled at the chance to practice defensive magic in class, but for some reason, my enthusiasm for fighting and rebelling seemed to have all but disappeared. Perhaps Dumbledore was right; maybe I needed something stable to keep me focused.

I lingered after class that day, figuring that was the best mode of proceeding. "Are you coming?" Hermione asked as she slipped her bag strap over her shoulder.

I shook my head. "I've got to talk to Snape. I'll catch you later."

Hermione smiled slightly. "Oh, ok. Good luck."

I nodded at her and watched her leave. Soon, it became apparent that I was the only one left behind in the room.

"Miss Hansen," Snape said from his spot at the front of the classroom, "is there something I can help you with?"

"Yes," I said. "Actually, there is." I paused before continuing in order to collect my thoughts. "Last year, you said would help me with my Potions studies. You said something about extra lessons..."

"Miss Hansen," Snape said, "Professor Slughorn is your Potions Master now, so perhaps you should speak to him on this subject."

My eyes widened. "But Professor Dumbledore told me to talk to you!"

Snape raised his eyebrows, appearing interested. "Did he, now? And how did this topic come about?"

I faltered. "I – I wasn't feeling well- I'm _still_ not – and I needed someone to talk to, so Hermione suggested-" I took in a shaky breath; I could feel myself beginning to tremble again. I placed my hands on the table in front of me and leaned on it for support. "I'm going through a lot right now, and Professor Dumbledore thought it might help if I focus on something – like Potions. He said you could help me. He said you wouldn't mind. And I don't know Professor Slughorn that well, and I really need some stability in my life right now." I cut off and swallowed a lump in my throat. Was I making any sense?

"I see," Snape said, betraying no emotion. "Very well. I will instruct you in advanced Potions, if you are up to it."

"Yes," I said, brightening instantly. "Thank you, professor."

Snape nodded slightly. "Come by my office at seven Thursday, and make sure to bring everything required for Potions class."

I was not exactly sure why, but I felt a great sense of relief watch over me. "I will. Thank you again." I picked up my bag and turned to leave.

"Oh, and Miss Hansen?"

I looked back at him.

"Did you ever get a chance to speak to Mr. Malfoy?"

My face fell. Why did he have to bring that up? "Yes," I mumbled.

"Is something wrong?"

I stared at him, wishing I could read into his mind and decipher his motives. "Everything is wrong," I said. Then I turned and walked out of the room without another word.

***

I was not sure how I managed to survive until Thursday. My homework was actually very helpful. It was something I could focus on and get lost in. It distracted my mind from wandering to other thoughts. As long as I was busy, the pain did not feel as bad. It was hard to concentrate in my classes I shared with Draco, of course, but I was trying.

The only bad part about my lessons with Snape would be that I had to travel to the dungeons alone. Who knew who I would run into down there? I was not exactly the Slytherins' favorite person these days, for whatever reason.

Luckily, I did not run into anyone I as I made my way to Snape's office for my first lesson. Still, I was nervous as I knocked on the door. When I heard a, "come in," I did just that.

"Good evening, professor," I said, smiling slightly.

Snape had stood up from his desk when I entered. "Good evening, Miss Hansen," he said. He held a book out to me, and I took it, looking it over curiously. "This is an advanced Potions book – one not usually taught in class. I thought we would start with the simplest potion in the book."

I nodded. "Ok."

The lesson continued like any other Potions class except even better. Snape did not simply watch me carry out the instructions that the book set out; he actively offered me his own input and advice, which I greatly appreciated. It made me feel good to receive this special attention that I knew he did not readily dole out to students. For awhile, I was almost able to forget my pain.

However, I had to wait awhile for my potion to brew, and the silence that followed brought everything back. "Have you talked to Draco recently?" I asked, unable to help myself.

"No," Snape said without any emotion. "I gather you have not either?"

I shook my head. "He's pushing me away, and I don't know why. He's gone cold. Even before we were friends, he never treated me this way. And it hurts." I shut my eyes and clenched my fists. Releasing them, I opened my eyes again. "I'm sorry."

"It is alright," Snape said. "Pain is a part of life, Miss Hansen."

I smiled grimly. "I know. I just – I didn't expect it to be by my own doing, you know? If I had never loved him..."

"Do you wish you had not?" There was something different in his eyes now, but I could not decipher what it was.

"I – no," I said. "Of course not. I can't even imagine..." I sighed and shook my head. "I would never want to erase the time we had together. If the pain is the cost, then it is worth it... I just wish he would let me in. I know he does not have anyone else he can confide in. I would do anything to be there for him..."

"Do you have anyone you can confide in?"

I was surprised by the question; I frowned as I thought about the answer. "Yes, I suppose. There's one – maybe two – people I can talk to. They care, but... They can't fully comprehend what I'm going through. They've never understood my love, especially why I chose _him_."

"You have been through a lot for someone so young," Snape said. "Your friends are lucky they have never experienced anything like this."

I nodded meekly. "Yeah, I guess so." A memory flashed in my mind, and I found myself unable to resist asking the question that had been bugging me for a long time. "What about you professor? Have you ever loved a girl... in this way?"

I saw surprise flash in his eyes. Then his gaze his hardened and he said, "Miss Hansen-"

"It's just that, like I said, no one really gets it," I said quickly, desperate to explain my interest in his personal life. "And if I knew there was someone who had felt something similar to what I'm feeling, then maybe I might be able to bear the pain a little better. It feels good to know that someone understand, if only to feel like you're not totally alone." I stared at him helplessly. I hoped I had not frightened him away.

His expression returned to normal, and he stared at me for nearly a minute. Finally, he said in a slow and steady voice, "Yes. I have."

I bit my lip and nodded, not daring to ask any more. This was already more than I had hoped to get out of him; it would do for now. And I finally knew that I had been right. I would reflect on it later. "Thank you, professor." I smiled at him weakly.

I thought I saw his head nod ever so slightly. Then he said in a professional manner, "You should check on your potion. It will be done soon."

I obediently got back to work.

***

I felt better the next day. The pain was still surging through me, but it felt somehow more bearable. I was still spending a lot of time alone and not eating much, but at least there was something I could look forward to every week. I had to believe it was going to get better.

I decided to take a walk outside that afternoon. Walks tended to have a soothing effect on me, especially when I was out in nature. Somehow, I found myself nearing the Quidditch pitch. I could hear noises coming from the field. Instead of leaving like I should have, I continued forward to see what was going on.

Soon, I caught sight of Quidditch players with green and silver robes. It appeared that the Slytherin Quidditch team was having tryouts. I searched the bodies in the sky, frowning when I could not catch sight of Draco.

I watched them until Urquhart, who seemed to be the captain, flew down and walked over to me. "What are you doing here, Hansen?" he said, eying me suspiciously. "Spying for Gryffindor?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course not." I could see the other players landing as well. "Where's Draco?"

"I don't know," Urquhart said. "He _should_ be here, but, apparently, he has more important things to do..."

I felt troubled at these words. Draco loved Quidditch. Why was he absent? "He's going to play this year, right?"

"That's none of your business," Urquhart said, glaring at me. "Why don't you get out of here?"

I frowned. "I'm not doing anything." I noticed Vincent and Crabbe and gave them a small smile, but they hurriedly turned around and feigned looking busy. I rolled my eyes. No one else seemed too happy that I was there either.

"You're not wanted here," Urquhart said.

"I can see that," I muttered. It was beginning to get frustrating, actually. Had all of my work been for nothing? "To be in Slytherin, is it a requirement to have short-term memory loss?"

Urquhart and some of the other Slytherins continued to glare at me, so I left.

***

I talked to Ginny about my lesson with Snape while we walked to lunch together on Saturday. I left out the personal information because I figured it was private. At first, Ginny seemed as surprised as Harry had been at Dumbledore's advice.

"I understand focusing on your love of potions," Ginny said as we neared the Entrance Hall, "but Snape?"

"It was actually a good idea," I said. "I like him. And for some reason, he seems to like me."

Ginny frowned, appearing to think about this. "Odd. Maybe you just have a talent for dealing with difficult people."

I laughed. "They need someone to care too, right?"

Before Ginny could respond, Professor Slughorn appeared in front of us, blocking the doors to the Great Hall. "Miss Hansen, Miss Weasley," he said with a friendly smile, "good to see you two. I was wondering if both of you would like to join me for dinner tonight in my rooms. I've invited a few others as well."

Ginny and I exchanged glances. I spoke first. "Uh, sure, professor," I said. "I'll be there."

"Me too," Ginny said.

Slughorn beamed at us. "Excellent! I'll see you both later then." He smiled as he walked past us down the hall.

"I'll bet he invited Harry," I muttered.

"Oh, it'll be alright," Ginny said, gazing at me sympathetically.

***

The dinner party turned out to be alright. It turned out that Harry could not attend because of a detention with Snape. Hermione was there, though. The dinner was not particularly exciting, but it was better than much of what I had been doing lately. I was impressed by the others who were invited. Slughorn sure knew how to network.

The following week, it was easier for me to cast Draco occasional glanced without the searing pain I usually felt. I noticed that he did not seem to be holding up too well either. He always appeared unfocused or distracted. He ignored most people and was only with his friends occasionally. He had given up bullying entirely, but I somehow doubted it was for altruistic reasons. He seemed thinner and paler as usual as well. I had a growing burning desire to know what was going on with him.

The feeling was so strong that I had to ask Snape about it at the end of our second lesson. Snape was, after all, a spy for Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix. He was pretending to still be a Death Eater, so he would know if Draco had gotten caught up in any of that, right? Was that why Dumbledore had directed me to him?

"Can I ask you something before I leave?" I asked tentatively after packing up my potions supplies.

"Go ahead," Snape said casually.

I hesitate before continuing, not sure how he would take this. "Do _you_ know what Draco is up to?"

Snape stared at me. "Why would I know anything, Miss Hansen?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "Well, he's in your house, and also..." I bit my lip. "I thought you might know if he was had any involvement with, you know..."

Snape cut me off. "If I did know anything, I would not be at liberty to say."

"Please! I'm really worried about him. He's not acting normal. He seems to have no ambition for _anything_ anymore except whatever it is that he's preoccupied with. He wasn't even at Quidditch tryouts... And I'm going crazy trying to think of what's wrong. Of course, my mind wants to go to the worst case scenario..."

"Which is?"

I looked at him with terror in my eyes. Why would he ask such a thing? "I- I can't even think it in my mind, much less say it."

"Then why are you asking me to confirm or deny your suspicions? You cannot handle the truth."

I shook my head. "No. I can't think it while it's just a possibility because I may be wrong. But if I knew for sure..." I sucked in a sharp breath. "Knowing is better. I want to know what I am dealing with. Right now, I feel like I'm lost in the dark..."

Snape's gaze seemed almost sympathetic, and his voice was softer as he spoke again. "I'm sorry, but I cannot help you, Miss Hansen. I wish there was more I could do."

I nodded and looked down at the table, choking back tears. "Ok," I said quietly. "Thanks anyway." I looked up at him against when I thought of something else. "If you do know anything, you might want to keep an eye on him. Other people are suspecting him. People who do _not_ have his best interests at heart."

I could not see much of a reaction on his face, which was about what I had expected. "Good night, Miss Hansen."

I gave him a slight smile as I stood up. "Good night, Professor Snape." 


	45. Learning to Cope

During my next lesson, Snape was the one to first diverge from the topic of potions. I had just finished stirring my potion, and now I was waiting for it to brew. I had elapsed into silence, and I was frowning down at the table. I was still not used to the pain. I was not sure how I was supposed to survive.

"Are you feeling alright?" Snape asked a casual tone.

I looked up, slightly surprised at the question. I could not discern if he actually cared or not, but what did I have to lose? At this point, I was willing to talk to anyone who would listen, which was actually not that many. "No," I said. "I've never felt worse." I let out a heavy sigh. "I don't even know how I got myself into this mess."

"Did you not know what you were getting yourself into?" Snape said coolly. "Was that wise?"

I frowned. "Everything was different when I met Draco! Basically everyone, including my parents, warned me against him. I ignored them because I thought they were wrong. I still think they were. Back then, it was about prejudices, stereotypes, judgment and condemnation. No one saw anything good in Draco, but I did..."

I found myself launching into the whole story, starting from the beginning. I could not tell if Snape was interested in what I had to say, but he did not cut me off and I could tell that he was listening. This made me feel better, so I continued. I had never sat down and told someone the story before. It was oddly therapeutic.

I stopped when I got to the third task of the Triwizard Tournament. I grew quiet for a minute before speaking again. "I could have handled everything if _he_ hadn't come back," I said slowly. "I could have dealt with the house rivalry and Draco's attitude. We would have figured it out eventually. But then... when it happened..." I sucked in a sharp breath. "I knew everything had changed, but I wanted to deny it. I knew something would get between us. And now I've lost him." I stared down at my desk miserably. "And it hurts more than I had ever imagined. I did not expected this to happen. Everyone thought Draco was going to hurt me... but no one told me I would hurt myself by loving him."

"You were too young to comprehend it," Snape said in a softer tone than usually. "It's something most adults do not even have to go through."

Looking up at him, I had a feeling that he a sense of what I was talking about. Whatever had happened with the girl he had loved, he was not with her now, so it must have ended badly. "Does it go away? The pain?"

Snape was silent for a moment. "It does not disappear completely," he finally said, "but some days are better than others. You can't get rid of it. You must simply learn how to live with it. Life moves on even when you are not ready."

I nodded. That was not a very optimistic view, but it was realistic. It sounded like he knew personally what he was talking about, but I did not dare ask more yet. "I see. I'll try." I would have to. There were still other people in my life who were counting on me, and I could not let them down.

***

That Saturday, I tried to work on my homework in the common room instead of dorm or the library as usual, where I was always alone. There were several students around the common room, talking to each other, playing games, or reading. I ignored them all and focused on the essay I was supposed to be writing. I was usually good at these types of things, but today, the words would just not come. Giving up for now, I leaned my head against the couch, which I was sitting up against, and groaned.

"Hey, Crystal, do you want to play wizard chess?"

I looked up to see Seamus Finnigan offering me a friendly smile. I thought about the offer for a few seconds. Maybe I needed a break. "Ok," I agreed. I pulled myself up onto the couch beside him. "I haven't played much, though. You're going to have to refresh my memory on the rules."

"Of course," Seamus said in an awesome Irish accent. He pulled the chessboard on the coffee table closer to us and turned it so that we each had a side. He cast me a small frown. "Are you feeling alright?"

I shrugged. "I've been better."

"Dean and Ginny have been spending a lot of time together," Seamus commented.

I realized that our best friends were dating each other, and I felt a sudden connection to him. "Yeah," I agreed. "But as long as they're happy..." It would have been nice if Ginny were around more, but I did not want to intrude and sound needy.

Seamus nodded. "It can just get a bit lonely, you know? And there's so much going on this year."

"I know," I said. "We get so much homework. And my personal life couldn't be worse..." I had not talked to him about my problem personally, but it seemed that just about everyone knew. Gryffindors and Slytherins did not usually date, so it was a big deal when they broke up, not that everyone did not expect it to happen eventually.

Seamus smiled at me sympathetically. "It'll get better. You know, I wish Fred and George were here. I miss having them around. They always knew how to make anyone feel better."

I smiled slightly as I thought about the twins. "Yeah, they sure do," I said fondly. I wondered how they were doing.

Seamus ended up beating me at wizard chess, though I did have a good time. By the end, I had decided to write George a letter and try to catch up. I knew I could really use some positive words of encouragement. I bid Seamus a friendly goodbye and scurried up to my room to write.

It was much easier to write the letter than it had the essay. It was quick and simple. I asked George how he and Fred were doing with the shop, and I hinted that things were not going too great for me. Then I told him I appreciated his friendship and signed my name.

I felt slightly happier as I traveled to the Owlery to deliver my letter. I had not written to anyone in a long time. I could remember how good it felt to receive a personal written message, and I found myself eagerly awaiting George's reply. It would be one more thing to temporarily bring me out of the nearly constant gloom of my new life.

***

I ended up continuing my story about my relationship with Draco at my next lesson with Snape. I talked about the brief wonderful month the summer after fourth year, and then about how we had been caught by Lucius. Snape seemed a little interested at this information, though he did not say anything.

I ended at the point in the story right before the incident at the Ministry. This was enough for now. Besides, my potion would be finished brewing soon. "I should have known everything would go wrong," I muttered. "Why did I think a promise would mean anything?" He had said he would stay with me. He said he did not want to be alone. Why was he gone now?

"There are some circumstances that are beyond control," Snape said. "Sometimes you have to make choices you never anticipated."

"I guess so," I mumbled. I absentmindedly made invisible designs on the table with my finger. Once again, I found myself wondering at the professor's interest in these matters. He never seemed to care about anything to do with his students... except the Slytherins.

I wondered how young he had been when he had fallen in love. The previous week, he had said that not many people as young as me experienced the love that I felt. Had he been one of them? I did not know how he would take to me directly asking, so I decided to go about it in a roundabout way. "Professor," I began slowly, "the girl you loved... did she go to Hogwarts with you?" I gazed at him with mild compassion, trying to show him that he could trust me.

Snape seemed to be trying to decide if he should do just that. "Yes," he said after a minute. "She was in my year. You should check your potion."

I acknowledged the end of the conversation. I had gained one more bit of information, and I vaguely wondered what it meant to me.

***

I was eating breakfast with Ginny, Dean, and Seamus the next morning when an owl flew by and dropped me a letter. I instantly felt better; my nausea lightened considerably. I smiled as I opened the envelope and pulled out a single sheet of paper. The sender was exactly who I expected.

"Who's it from?" Seamus asked curiously.

"George," I said happily.

Ginny raised her eyebrows in interest. "Really? How is he?"

I quickly read over the letter in my head:

Dear Crystal,

It's great to hear from you. Me and Fred are doing excellent. Business has been booming, and we already have loads of ideas for new products. It feels good to lighten a few hearts in such dark times. Speaking of which... I'm sorry you haven't been feeling too well. Is there anything I can do to help? I could order a hex. Just kidding. The sun is still shining, and there are a thousand more reasons to be happy. You're strong. I know you can get through anything. Maybe I'll see you at Christmas and you can tell me what's bothering you. Until then, I'll miss you. Bop Ron on the head for me.

Cheers,  
George

"He's doing great," I said with a smile. "He says business is good." I felt happy that he cared enough to have concern for me. I had hated not talking to him after we broke up. It really was good to have his friendship back; I needed someone like him in my life.

"That's god," Dean said. "I love their shop."

"Me too," Seamus said. "They have the best stuff. Too bad it's banned at Hogwarts."

I smiled and nodded in agreement. I carefully folded the letter and placed it in my bag, mentally telling myself to remember to write back to him. For now, I actually felt well enough to finish my meal.

***

I divulged the rest of my story to Snape the next lesson. I told him everything I had seen and heard from Draco since fighting the Death Eaters. He also found it interesting that Lucius had let me go and Narcissa asked me to look out for her son. Still, he would not let on if he knew anything about Draco's circumstances.

By the end, I was starting to worry that my sharing was not improving my relationship with Snape. What was I doing if he did not even care about what I was saying? Maybe I should just drop it. "I'm sorry if I'm going on and on," I said, feeling a little guilty. "I don't mean to be wasting your time."

"It is not a waste of time, Miss Hansen," Snape said. "If I had been disinterested, I would have stopped you from the beginning."

I blinked. "Really? You don't mind me talking to you?"

"Not at all. Your company is quite favorable to me." He was staring at me calmly, and his face seemed gentler than normal.

My own face lit up in a smile. So, he did like me! For some reason, that made me happy. "Thank you. I enjoy talking to you."

Snape's eyes flickered to my potion, but I could tell that he was pleased.

Perhaps I did like getting to know people others would not. I knew Snape had a good relationship with Dumbledore, but he did not seem to talk to anyone else. It felt good to be able to earn his trust. Yet, at the same time, there was something I needed as well. Presently, I felt almost as lonely as I imagined him to be. It was a perfect match. 


	46. The Necklace

Hermione dragged me to Hogsmeade with her, Ron, and Harry Saturday morning. She claimed I needed fresh air and to be around people. I was around plenty of people; I just didn't feel like talking to too many of them. Nevertheless, I agreed to accompany the trio. It was not like I had anything better to do.

It was stormy and cold outside, so I had to dress up in warm clothes. I wrapped my Gryffindor scarf tightly around my neck and face, and it nicely kept out the wind. It also gave me an excuse to not half to talk, at least while I was outside.

Upon reaching Hogsmeade, I was saddened when I saw that Zonko's had been closed up. Luckily, though, Honeyduke's was still open, and the four of us paid a visit. Afterwards, he stopped by the Three Broomsticks for a bit. I always enjoyed butterbeer, so I was glad I had decided to make the trip.

My friends did not seem to be having a good time, though, so we left early. I strayed behind them as we walked back to Hogwarts, my mind drifting. Eventually, I was snapped out of my thoughts as I heard the sound of two voices arguing up ahead. I soon recognized them as Katie Bell and her friend.

"It's nothing to do with you, Leanne!" Katie said. As the figures came into view, I could see she was holding something in her hand. It appeared to be a package of some sort. Leanne made to grab hold of the package Katie was holding; Katie tugged it back and the package fell to the ground.

I let out a gasp when Katie flew into the air, her arms outstretched. Her hair was whipped around her by the fierce wind, but her eyes were closed and her face was quite empty of expression.

Then, six feet above the ground, Katie let out a terrible scream. Her eyes flew open but whatever she could see, or whatever she was feeling, was clearly causing her terrible anguish. She screamed and screamed; Leanne started to scream too and seized Katie's ankles, trying to tug her back to the ground. Harry, Ron, Hermione and I rushed forward to help, but as we grabbed Katie's legs, she fell on top of us. Harry and Ron managed to catch her, but she was writhing so much they could hardly hold her. Instead, they lowered her to the ground where she thrashed and screamed, apparently unable to recognize any of us.

"Stay there!" Harry shouted at the others over the howling wind. "I'm going for help!"

While he ran off, the rest of us tried to quiet Katie but to no avail. Fear prickled in my chest. She had been cursed. That much was clear.

Harry soon came back with Hagrid running by his side. "Get back!" Hagrid shouted. "Lemme see her!"

"Something's happened to her!" Leanne sobbed. "I don't know what --"

Hagrid stared at Katie for a second, and then, without a word, he bent down, scooped her into his arms, and ran off toward the castle with her.

Hermione hurried over to Katie's wailing friend and put an arm around her. "It's Leanne, isn't it?"

The girl nodded.

"Did it just happen all of a sudden, or--?"

"It was when that package tore," Leanne sobbed, pointing at the now sodden brown-paper package on the ground, which had split open to reveal a greenish glitter. Ron bent down, his hand outstretched, but Harry seized his arm and pulled him back.

"Don't touch it!" Harry said. He crouched down. An ornate opal necklace was visible, poking out of the paper. "I've seen that before. It was on display in Borgin and Burkes ages ago. The label said it was cursed. Katie must have touched it." He looked up at Leanne, who had started to shake uncontrollably. "How did Katie get hold of this?"

"Well, that's why we were arguing. She came back from the bathroom in the Three Broomsticks holding it, said it was a surprise for somebody at Hogwarts and she had to deliver it. She looked all funny when she said it... Oh no, oh no, I bet she'd been Imperiused and I didn't realize!"

Leanne shook with renewed sobs. Hermione patted her shoulder gently. "She didn't say who'd given it to her, Leanne?"

"No... she wouldn't tell me... and I said she was being stupid and not to take it up to school, but she just wouldn't listen and... and then I tried to grab it from her... and -- and --" Leanne let out a wail of despair.

"We'd better get up to school," Hermione said, her arm still around Leanne. "We'll be able to find out how she is. Come on..."

Harry hesitated for a moment then pulled his scarf from around his face, carefully covered the necklace in it, and picked it up. "We'll need to show this to Madam Pomfrey," he said.

Harry, Ron, and I walked behind Hermione and Leanne. Thoughts were trying to probe me, but I pushed them away. It was too tired and weary. I tried to focus on the cold, which helped a bit. I was anxious to find out what exactly had happened.

"Malfoy knows about this necklace," Harry said as we entered the grounds, and I hissed. "It was in a case at Borgin and Burkes four years ago, I saw him having a good look at it while I was hiding from him and his dad. This is what he was buying that day when we followed him! He remembered it and he went back for it!"

"No," I said firmly, but he ignored me. I clenched my teeth in frustration. Why did he have to put the idea in my idea? I was just beginning to be okay with how things were.

"I--I dunno, Harry," Ron said hesitantly. "Loads of people go to Borgin and Burke... and didn't that girl say Katie got it in the girls' bathroom?"

"She said she came back from the bathroom with it, she didn't necessarily get it in the bathroom itself--"

"McGonagall!" Ron said warningly.

Professor McGonagall was hurrying down the stone steps through swirling sleet to meet us. "Hagrid says you five saw what happened to Katie Bell--upstairs to my office at once, please! What's that you're holding, Potter?"

"It's the thing she touched," Harry said.

"Good Lord," said Professor McGonagall, looking alarmed as she took the necklace from Harry. "No, no, Filch, they're with me!" she added hastily, as Filch came shuffling eagerly across the entrance hall holding his Secrecy Sensor aloft. "Take this necklace to Professor Snape at once, but be sure not to touch it, keep it wrapped in the scarf!"

I followed the others upstairs into McGonagall's office. Once side, the professor closed the door and swept around her desk to face us. "Well?" she said sharply. "What happened?"

Haltingly, and with many pauses while she attempted to control her crying, Leanne told Professor McGonagall how Katie had gone to the bathroom in the Three Broomsticks and returned holding the unmarked package, how Katie had seemed a little odd, and how they had argued about the advisability of agreeing to deliver unknown objects, the argument culminating in the tussle over the parcel, which tore open. At this point, Leanne was so overcome, there was no getting another word out of her.

"All right," McGonagall said, not unkindly, "go up to the hospital wing, please, Leanne, and get Madam Pomfrey to give you something for shock." When Leanne had left the room, McGonagall turned back to Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "What happened when Katie touched the necklace?"

"She rose up in the air," Harry said, "and then began to scream and collapsed. Professor, can I see Professor Dumbledore, please?"

"The Headmaster is away until Monday, Potter," McGonagall said, looking surprised.

"Away?" Harry repeated angrily.

"Yes, Potter, away!" McGonagall said tartly. "But anything you have to say about this horrible business can be said to me, I'm sure!"

Harry hesitated. "I think Draco Malfoy gave Katie that necklace, professor."

"No!" I said loudly. A frantic look crossed my face. "Don't listen to him, professor! He's mad!"

"I am not," Harry retorted angrily. "You're just biased."

I snorted. "Right. That's why Hermione and Ron agree with me. I think you're the one who's biased." I shot him a glare from the other side of Hermione.

"Enough!" McGonagall said sternly. "I will not have members of my own house fighting amongst one another."

"He started it," I mumbled as I crossed my arms.

"Malfoy started it," Harry said.

"Potter," McGonagall said, trying to regain control of the conversation, "you have made a serious accusation. Do you have any proof?"

"Of course not," I muttered.

"Please, Hansen. Potter?"

"No," Harry said, "but..." and he told her about following Malfoy to Borgin and Burkes and the conversation we had overheard between him and Mr. Borgin.

When he had finished speaking, Professor McGonagall looked slightly confused. "Malfoy took something to Borgin and Burkes for repair?"

"No, professor, he just wanted Borgin to tell him how to mend something, he didn't have it with him. But that's not the point, the thing is that he bought something at the same time, and I think it was that necklace --"

"You saw Malfoy leaving the shop with a similar package?"

"No, Professor, he told Borgin to keep it in the shop for him --"

"But Harry," Hermione interrupted, "Borgin asked him if he wanted to take it with him, and Malfoy said no --"

"Because he didn't want to touch it, obviously!" Harry said angrily.

"What he actually said was, 'How would I look carrying that down the street?'" Hermione said.

"Well, he would look a bit of a prat carrying a necklace," interjected Ron.

"Oh, Ron," Hermione said despairingly, "it would be all wrapped up, so he wouldn't have to touch it, and quite easy to hide inside a cloak, so nobody would see it! I think whatever he reserved at Borgin and Burkes was noisy or bulky, something he knew would draw attention to him if he carried it down the street--and in any case," she pressed on loudly, before Harry could interrupt, "I asked Borgin about the necklace, don't you remember? When I went in to try and find out what Malfoy had asked him to keep, I saw it there. And Borgin just told me the price, he didn't say it was already sold or anything --"

"Well, you were being really obvious," Harry said, "he realized what you were up to within about five seconds, of course he wasn't going to tell you--anyway, Malfoy could've sent off for it since --"

"That's enough!" Professor McGonagall said as Hermione opened her mouth to retort, looking furious. "Potter, I appreciate you telling me this, but we cannot point the finger of blame at Mr. Malfoy purely because he visited the shop where this necklace might have been purchased. The same is probably true of hundreds of people --"

"-- that's what I said --" muttered Ron.

"-- and in any case, we have put stringent security measures in place this year. I do not believe that necklace can possibly have entered this school without our knowledge --"

"But --"

"-- and what is more," McGonagall said, with an air of awful finality, "Mr. Malfoy was not in Hogsmeade today."

Harry gaped at her. "How do you know, professor?"

"Because he was doing detention with me. He has now failed to complete his Transfiguration homework twice in a row."

"What?" I exclaimed. "That's not like him." Draco was a good student. He always made sure to complete his homework on time. An uneasy feeling sat in my stomach.

"I know," McGonagall said gravely. She turned back to Harry. "So, thank you for telling me your suspicions, Potter," she said as she marched past them, "but I need to go up to the hospital wing now to check on Katie Bell. Good day to you all." She held open her door, and we had no choice but to file out without saying another word.

"So who do you reckon Katie was supposed to give the necklace to?" Ron asked as we climbed the stairs to the common room.

"Goodness only knows," Hermione said. "But whoever it was has had a narrow escape. No one could have opened that package without touching the necklace."

"It could've been meant for loads of people," Harry said. "Dumbledore--the Death Eaters would love to get rid of him, he must be one of their top targets. Or Slughorn -- Dumbledore reckons Voldemort really wanted him and they can't be pleased that he's sided with Dumbledore. Or --"

"Or you," Hermione said, looking troubled.

"Couldn't have been," Harry said, "or Katie would've just turned around in the lane and given it to me, wouldn't she? I was behind her all the way out of the Three Broomsticks. It would have made much more sense to deliver the parcel outside Hogwarts, what with Filch searching everyone who goes in and out. I wonder why Malfoy told her to take it into the castle."

"What is wrong with you?" I growled.

"Harry, Malfoy wasn't in Hogsmeade!" said Hermione, stamping her foot in frustration.

"He must have used an accomplice, then," Harry said. "Crabbe or Goyle--or, come to think of it, another Death Eater, he'll have loads better cronies than Crabbe and Goyle now he's joined up --"

"Just stop it!" I cried, not being able to handle it anymore. I was having troubling controlling my breathing and my heart, and he was not making it any better. "He's innocent until proven guilty. Why do you keep accusing him?"

"Why do you keep defending him?" Harry shot back.

"Out of a sense of justice," I said, "and I. Love. Him."

"But he doesn't love you!"

We had just reached the entrance to the common room, but at Harry's words, everyone stopped and grew quiet. I should have felt something, but I didn't. I only felt numb.

"Harry!" Hermione said in shock.

My anger returned as I turned to the portrait. "Dilligrout," I said.

"That was too harsh," I heard Ron whisper to Harry as I marched inside, intending to go straight to my room in order to be alone. 


	47. Strain

I somehow managed to struggle through the week until Thursday. No one seemed to know what had happened to Katie, which was good for me. The last thing I needed was to be reminded of the event. I avoided Harry just as a precaution. I knew Snape would know, for the cursed necklace had been sent to him for inspection. I wondered if he had come up with any hypotheses.

He looked the same as ever as I cautiously stepped into his office. "Good evening, Miss Hansen," he said in a low voice.

I smiled slightly as I walked up to my seat and set my cauldron and ingredients down on the table. "Good evening, professor." I hesitated. She I ask him right away or wait for a better time? I decided I would go crazy if I did say something, so I went ahead. "Did you figure anything out about the necklace?"

Snape looked at me with slightly raised eyebrows.

"I was there when it happened," I said quickly. "When Katie was cursed. I was just curious. Professor McGonagall said you were going to check into the necklace." I gave him a weak smile in an attempt to get him to confess.

"Yes," Snape said thickly, "I have inspected the object. It would appear that Miss Bell is lucky to be alive."

A lump formed in my throat at these words. So, my friends had been right. The point of the necklace was death. A shudder passed through me, and I unsuccessfully tried to stifle it. "S-so, whoever gave Katie necklace was t-trying to k-kill whomever she was delivering it to."

"That is what it would seem, Miss Hansen," Snape said.

I swallowed hard. I feared I was going to start shaking. "D-do you know who is responsible?"

Snape stared at me for a minute before responding. "Now, why would you think I have that information?"

I faltered. "I just – H-Harry thinks it was Draco. That's what he told Professor McGonagall." My eyes widened when I realized what I said. I placed my hands on the table and leaned on it for support.

Something flashed in Snape's eyes, but I could not tell what it was. "He did, did he? Do you always believe everything Potter says?"

"N-no!" I said quickly. "I just-" I swallowed again. "I have no idea what Draco's up to, and I'm afraid. If you know anything-"

"I assure you, Miss Hansen, I do not know if it was Draco who was at fault here," Snape said. "He has been avoiding me all year, and he will not speak to me."

I was surprised at this. I always thought the two of them got along pretty well. Why would Draco want to avoid him? "Professor McGonagall said he's missed two assignments."

"Yes, something is wrong," Snape said, his eyes seeming somewhat more sympathetic, "but I am afraid there is nothing you can do to help."

The news made my heart sink, but it should have been what I had expected. There was nothing to do... nothing to do except try to survive. "Yes, professor," I said, dipping my head. "Thank you."

"Would you like to continue with our lesson today?" Snape asked.

I lifted my head and nodded. Dumbledore had been right; it was good to have some constancy in my life. Besides, it was good to be around someone who understood what I was going through, even if we couldn't talk about it much.

***

Slughorn was having a Christmas party for those in his little group the Friday before break. We were supposed to bring a date, a fact which had me groaning. We could bring guests, though. I spent the better part of a week trying to figure out who to ask. For a second, I considered Harry, but the thought was quickly dismissed. I was still far too angry with him to be able to tolerate him for a whole evening.

I eventually realized there was only one person I could really ask. Everyone else was either taken or otherwise preoccupied. Hermione had wanted to ask Ron, but they were now having some sort of spat; I thought it best to just leave him alone.

I found Seamus in the common room the last Sunday of October. He appeared to be working on some sort of assignment. "Hey, Seamus," I said, forcing a smile as I walked over to him.

Seamus looked up at me and smiled. "Hey, Crystal. How are you doing?"

"Good," I said as I sat on the arm of his chair. "How are you?"

"Pretty good," Seamus said. He frowned as he glanced down at his parchment. "Except for this Transfiguration essay." He made a face.

I chuckled lightly. "Good luck."

Seamus shrugged. "Thanks. I'll figure it out."

I paused and tried to figure out how to word my question. I was not sure how much he knew about the Slug Club. Ginny had probably told him through Dean, I reasoned. "Slughorn is having a Christmas party for his little group, and we're supposed to bring someone. It's not until right before break, but do you want to go with me? As friends?"

Seamus seemed surprised at first, but then a wide grin spread across his face. "I would love to, Crystal. Sounds fun. Thanks."

I gave him a small smile. "Right. Great. I'll leave you to your essay then." I got up and walked back to my dorm, hoping that had not been as awkward as it had felt. Asking people to events, especially guys, had never been my strong suit.

***

The first Gryffindor Quidditch game took place two Saturdays later. I would not have gone if they had not been playing Slytherin. I remembered running into tryouts, and I needed to see if Draco was playing. As I walked to the stands with Hermione, I discovered that she and Ron were still arguing. The same was true with Harry and me. I felt uncomfortable as I remembered Professor McGonagall's words. Gryffindors should not be fighting amongst themselves. At the very least, _we_ needed to stick together.

I watched in dismay as the Slytherin team flew onto the pitch without Draco, some Slytherin guy I did not recognize taking his place. "Where is Draco?" I said in frustration. "This isn't right."

Hermione cast me a sympathetic glance but said nothing.

Gryffindor played very well the whole game. It was like they could do no wrong. Harry caught the snitch, and we won. I heard Seamus yell something about a party in the common room. Hermione excused herself to go talk to the boys, so I headed there alone.

I had not been planning to stay at the celebration for long, but upon catching a glimpse of butterbeer, I changed my mind. I stood out near a wall as I sipped my drink, watching all of the commotion around me.

I immediately made my way to Harry when I saw him. I did not care if what I was about to do was a bad idea; I _had_ to know. I had to pull him out of the crowd of adoring fans, and he looked at me questioning as he did so. "Good game," I said with a slight smile. I had not talked to him casually in a long time.

Harry blinked. "Thanks."

"Do you know where Draco was?" I asked before I stopped myself. He was still on the team, wasn't he?

"Apparently, he was sick," Harry said, frowning. "It's suspicious, isn't it?"

I became troubled at his words. Sick? "I'd say concerning is a better word."

Harry shook his head. "Once before he claimed he could not play due to injury, but on that occasion he had made sure the whole match was rescheduled for a time that suited the Slytherins better. I don't see why he would let a substitute go out now. I think he's faking it."

"I don't know," I said uncertainly.

"You don't think it's odd?"

"I didn't say that." I paused, unsure if I should explain myself. "Do you want to know what I think?"

"Are you going to yell at me?" Harry asked.

I rolled my eyes. "No."

Harry blinked. "Then please, continue."

I smiled slightly. "Thanks. I think he is under a lot of psychological pressure. Haven't you seen him? He's not well. He's been neglecting his classes and his team. He appears to have a total lack of motivation. Does that sound like a Slytherin to you?"

"Maybe he has something better to do."

I shook my head. "I don't think so. If that was true, he wouldn't be showing the other signs of stress. Trust me; I know what I'm talking about because I'm going through something similar as well. Like me, he's not eating much. His physical appearance is worse than mine, actually. It seems obvious to anyone who looks objectively that he is going through something hard."

"Maybe-"

I had to cut him off before he said it. "I don't know if he's the one responsible for that cursed necklace, but I can tell you one thing; if he is trying to kill someone, he is not doing it of his own free will. He is being coerced."

I left Harry with his mouth hanging partly open, seeming perplexed. I hoped he would think about what I said and stop jumping to conclusions.

I stopped short when I came upon a strange sight. In a corner of the room, Ron stood wrapped so closely around Lavender Brown it was hard to tell whose hands were whose, and they were snogging. Before I could make sense of it, I noticed Hermione leave the room, obviously upset. I decided to stay back when Harry went after her.

I finished my butterbeer and then made my way back to my room. As I sat on my bed, Snowflake jumped up next to me and meowed. I smiled slightly as I stroked his back. I tried to push my conversation with Harry out of the back of my mind. Snape had said there was nothing I could do, but how was I supposed to cope?

Someone else entered the room not too long later. It was Hermione. She was wiping her eyes, looking distressed. She blinked in surprise when she saw me. "Oh. Hi, Crystal."

"Are you alright?" I asked, gazing at her sympathetically.

"Oh, I just-"

"It was Ron, right?" I said. It seemed like my previous suspicions had been correct. There was something going on between those two.

Hermione sighed and nodded, a weary expression coming over her face. "Yes." She sat down on my bed next to me, and I put a comforting arm around her.

"Ron's an idiot," I said softly.

"I know," Hermione mumbled.

I hesitated. "You like him?"

Hermione bit her lip and nodded. I could tell she was trying hard to hold it all together.

"It's ok," I said gently. "It's ok to let it hurt. I understand."

At that, Hermione grabbed onto me and began to sob. I wrapped my other arm around her and tried to steady her. Her head rested on my shoulder. "Is this what you've been fighting about?"

Hermione lifted her head and wiped her eyes. Then she told me about their recent arguments and the tension between them. It seemed to me that the root of the problem was that both of them refused to admit to each to each other how they felt about each other, but I did not say this.

"It's alright, though," Hermione said with a sniff. "If he wants to be with Lavender, that's his choice."

"At least you're still friends," I murmured. "At least he's on your side."

Hermione let out a gasp as she lifted her head to look at me. "Oh, Crystal, I'm so sorry! This is what you've been feeling all year, isn't it? But it's probably worse for you because Draco won't even talk to you."

I smiled grimly and nodded. She understood exactly what I was talking about. I would have given anything just to be able to talk to Draco without any romantic interaction at all.

Hermione's gaze turned sympathetic. "I'm sorry if I've ever criticized you. It must be just awful to be feeling this all the time."

"I'm surviving," I said. I paused. "It is good to have people who understand what you're going through. Thank you."

"Of course," Hermione said, hugging me from the side again. "We've got something in common. Thank you for listening to me."

Her words made me feel better, and a small smile formed on my face. "Anytime." 


	48. The Christmas Party

The weeks passed by rather uneventfully. I was trying to be social, but it was hard. I did spend more time with Hermione, though, because she and Ron were still fighting and Harry was usually with him. I saw Ginny occasionally when she was not with Dean, and I even hung out with Seamus a few times. The best part of the week was still always my private lesson with Snape. We did not share any new information with each other, but I felt comfortable and relaxed around him, which I did not get anywhere else. If this kept up, I thought I could survive the year.

Slughorn's party caused me vague interest as the day approached. I liked Slughorn, but he was still not my favorite teacher, perhaps, unfairly, because of how he treated Harry. I was happy, however, when Luna told me that Harry had invited her to the party. I thought that was nice on Harry's part. Luna did not have many friends, and boys especially seemed to avoid her. This would be a good experience for her; she was very excited. I decided to be kind to Harry for one night in return.

The attire for the party was semi-formal, so I picked out a simple green dress. I thought green was a good color for Christmas, as I already wore enough read. I debated wearing my necklace but then reasoned that the Slytherin side went well with my dress.

As I walked into the common room, I saw Seamus, Ginny, and Dean waiting for me. I gave a smile and nod to Ginny and Dean before walking up to Seamus. "Hey," said.

"Hi," Seamus said brightly. "You look nice."

I smiled slightly. "Thanks. Ready to go?"

"Yes," Seamus said.

The four of us walked out of the room and headed for Slughorn's office. It did not take long to get there. I was surprised by the changes in the office since the last Slug Club meeting. The ceiling and walls had been draped with emerald, crimson, and gold hangings. The room was crowded and stuffy and bathed in the red light cast by an ornate golden lamp dangling from the center of the ceiling in which real fairies were fluttering. Loud singing accompanied by what sounded like mandolins issued from a distant corner; a haze of pipe smoke hung over several elderly warlocks deep in conversation, and a number of house elves were negotiating their way squeakily through the forest of knees, obscured by the heavy silver platters of food they were bearing.

"Ginny, Crystal," Slughorn said as he pushed his way through the crowd of people. He beamed at us. "Welcome. Come in and mingle. There are many people here you should meet. And try the food!"

"We will. Thank you, professor," Ginny said with a kind smile.

Seamus and I got separated from Ginny and Dean as we stepped further into the room. I was never one who enjoyed parties much, so I decided to let Seamus take the lead and decide what we would do. I gave him an encouraging smile so he would get the idea.

We walked around and talked to various people while sampling the treats. I was not having that bad of a time. I noticed Snape standing by himself and decided to go talk to him. I noticed Seamus reluctantly following me.

Before I could get there, however, Slughorn had reached out his arm and pulled Snape over to his little group, which consisted of Harry, Luna, and Professor Trelawney. Frowning, I continued walking forward with Seamus to join them, though I feared the topic of conversation.

"I was just talking about Harry's exceptional potion-making!" Slughorn said. "Some credit must go to you, of course, you taught him for five years!"

I stopped by Luna and glanced at Snape, who did not seem amused at all. "Funny, I never had the impression that I managed to teach Potter anything at all," he said, and I smirked.

"Well, then, it's natural ability!" Slughorn shouted as I rolled my eyes. "You should have seen what he gave me, first lesson, Draught of Living Death--never had a student produce finer on a first attempt, I don't think even you, Severus --"

"Really?" Snape said quietly. Harry seemed uncomfortable with the way he was staring at him.

"Remind me what other subjects you're taking, Harry?" Slughorn said.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology..."

"All the subjects required, in short, for an Auror," Snape said.

"Yeah, well, that's what I'd like to do," Harry said defiantly.

The information surprised me. In the past, Harry had not seemed all too eager to face dark wizards. He wasn't looking for excitement and adventure. What was driving him?

"And a great one you'll make too!" Slughorn boomed.

"I don't think you should be an Auror, Harry," Luna said unexpectedly. We all looked at her. "The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're planning to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease."

Harry inhaled half his mead up his nose as he started to laugh.

I cracked a grin myself. I was feeling a bit lighter until I saw something that made me freeze, the smile vanishing from my face. Draco Malfoy was being dragged by the ear toward us by Argus Filch.

"Professor Slughorn," Filch wheezed, "I discovered this boy lurking in an upstairs corridor. He claims to have been invited to your party and to have been delayed in setting out. Did you issue him with an invitation?"

Draco pulled himself free of Filch's grip, looking furious. "All right, I wasn't invited!" he said angrily. "I was trying to gatecrash, happy?"

"No, I'm not!" Filch said. "You're in trouble, you are! Didn't the Headmaster say that night-time prowling is out, unless you've got permission, didn't he, eh?"

"That's all right, Argus, that's all right," Slughorn said, waving a hand. "It's Christmas, and it's not a crime to want to come to a party. Just this once, we'll forget any punishment; you may stay, Draco."

Filch looked outraged with disappointed. Draco did not look very happy either. Snape was staring at him with a mixture of anger and fear. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

"It's nothing, nothing," Slughorn said, waving away Draco's thanks. "I did know your grandfather, after all...."

"He always spoke very highly of you, sir," Draco said quickly. "Said you were the best potion-maker he'd ever known..."

I noticed Harry staring at Draco, seeming almost astonished. Following his gaze, I instantly knew what he must have been noticing. Standing this close to him, it was hard to miss Draco's change in physical appearance. He had dark shadows under his eyes and a distinctly grayish tinge to his skin.

When Harry looked at me, I smiled grimly and nodded. I saw understanding flash in his eyes. Now he could see what I saw, but would he make the same conclusions? I doubted he would have ever thought of them if I had not said them first.

"I'd like a word with you, Draco," Snape said suddenly, causing me to flinch.

"Now, Severus," Slughorn said, hiccupping, "it's Christmas, don't be too hard--"

"I'm his Head of House, and I shall decide how hard, or otherwise, to be," Snape said curtly. "Follow me, Draco." They left, Snape leading the way, Draco looking resentful.

Harry stood there for a moment and then said, "I'll be back in a bit, Luna--er--bathroom."

"All right," she said cheerfully.

I knew what where he was really going, and I could not let him go alone. "Me too," I said to Seamus.

"Ok," Seamus said slowly, seeming confused and uncertain.

Harry glanced at me as I caught up with him. Neither of us said anything. He did not try to stop me, and I did not try to stop him. He stared at me for a moment before looking forward again.

Once we were out of the office, Harry pulled out his Invisibility Cloak from his pocket and threw it over both of us. It was much more comfortable than when four people had been under it. Without a word, we ran down the hall, searching for Draco and Snape. Harry pressed his ear against door after door as we dashed down the hall until crouched down to the keyhole of the last classroom in the corridor and whispered, "Here."

I bent down and put my head close to his. I could not make out voices.

"... cannot afford mistakes, Draco, because if you are expelled --"

"I didn't have anything to do with it, all right?"

"I hope you are telling the truth, because it was both clumsy and foolish. Already you are suspected of having a hand in it."

"Who suspects me?" Draco said angrily. "For the last time, I didn't do it, okay? That Bell girl must've had an enemy no one knows about--don't look at me like that! I know what you're doing, I'm not stupid, but it won't work--I can stop you!"

There was a pause and then Snape said quietly, "Ah... Aunt Bellatrix has been teaching you Occlumency, I see. What thoughts are you trying to conceal from your master, Draco?"

"I'm not trying to conceal anything from him; I just don't want you butting in!"

"So that is why you have been avoiding me this term? You have feared my interference? You realize that, had anybody else failed to come to my office when I had told them repeatedly to be there, Draco--"

"So put me in detention! Report me to Dumbledore!" Draco jeered.

There was another pause. Then Snape said, "You know perfectly well that I do not wish to do either of those things."

"You'd better stop telling me to come to your office then!"

"Listen to me," said Snape, "I am trying to help you. I swore to your mother I would protect you. I made the Unbreakable Vow, Draco--"

"Looks like you'll have to break it, then, because I don't need your protection! It's my job, he gave it to me and I'm doing it, I've got a plan and it's going to work, it's just taking a bit longer than I thought it would!"

"What is your plan?"

"It's none of your business!"

"If you tell me what you are trying to do, I can assist you ..."

"I have all the assistance I need, thanks, I'm not alone!"

"You were certainly alone tonight, which was foolish in the extreme, wandering the corridors without lookouts or backup, these are elementary mistakes--"

"I would've had Crabbe and Goyle with me if you hadn't put them in detention!"

"Keep your voice down!" Snape spat, for Draco's voice had risen excitedly. "If your friends Crabbe and Goyle intend to pass their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. this time around, they will need to work a little harder than they are doing at pres--"

"What does it matter?" Draco said. "Defense Against the Dark Arts--it's all just a joke, isn't it, an act? Like any of us need protecting against the Dark Arts--"

"It is an act that is crucial to success, Draco!" Snape said. "Where do you think I would have been all these years, if I had not known how to act? Now listen to me! You are being incautious, wandering around at night, getting yourself caught, and if you are placing your reliance in assistants like Crabbe and Goyle--"

"They're not the only ones; I've got other people on my side, better people!"

"Then why not confide in me, and I can--"

"I know what you're up to! You want to steal my glory!"

There was another pause, and then Snape said coldly, "You are speaking like a child. I quite understand that your father's capture and imprisonment has upset you, but--"

I heard footsteps on the other side of the door. Harry and I acted to get out of the way at the same time, but he moved to the right and I jumped back; the Invisibility Cloak went with Harry. This left Harry invisibly while I was exposed right in front of the door.

Before I could think, Draco exited the room. He stopped in front of me and looked at me in surprise. Then he narrowed his eyes at me angrily. "What are _you_ doing here?"

My mouth opened, but I did not have the right words. "I – I just-"

The door opened again, and Snape stepped out. He too seemed surprised at my presence. "Miss Hansen," he said, "you are not to be wandering the corridors alone."

"I was just... looking for the restroom," I said lamely.

"Were you listening to us?" Draco growled. He was bristling with hostility.

"No!" I said quickly. But then something occurred to me. This could be the only chance I would get all year to confront me. I might as well take advantage of it. "Well, yes. Not that I understood much. What is going on with you?"

"That is none of your business," Draco sneered.

"When your decisions affect _every day_ of my life, it _is_ my business!" I shot back.

"That is not my problem!" Draco said defensively.

"But it's your _fault_, whether you intended it or not," I said. I cast a quick glance at Snape, who was observing us with mild surprise mixed with interest but made no move to interfere. "I want an explanation."

"You're not going to get one," Draco snarled. "Just stay out of my way."

He was going to leave. I needed to make him stay. My heart pounding, I did the only thing I could think of; I reached out and grabbed hold of his left wrist. Then I brought my left arm forward and grasped the sleeve of his robes.

Before I could go any further, Draco yanked his arm away from me with such great force that I stumbled and nearly fell over. "Don't!" he cried in alarm.

But I had already gained the information I needed. As I looked at him, his angry expression turned to one of horror, which matched my own. I stepped back and shook my head, my eyes wide. "No..."

Without another word, Draco turned and fled down the hall.

"Miss Hansen-" Snape began to say.

I ignored him and ran down the opposite end of the hall. I stopped when I reached Slughorn's office. I took several deep breaths to calm myself and then entered.

There was a nervous smile on my face as I walked through the room. No one was paying me any attention, but I still felt somehow exposed. I wondered where Harry was and then decided it did not matter. I needed to get out of there; I was in too much shock to function properly.

I found Seamus near the drink table talking to Dean and Ginny. They all turned to look at me when I approached.

"Hello, Crystal," Ginny said. Her eyes looked me up and down. "Are you alright?"

"You were gone a long time," Seamus said, seeming worried.

"I'm feeling sick," I said, which was not a total lie. "Can you take me back, Seamus?" I gave him a weak smile.

Seamus blinked. "Oh, sure. Of course. Let's go."

"I hope you feel better," Ginny said as the two of us left.

"Thanks," I said. To myself, I added, "Me too." 


	49. Suspicions and Tears

Harry and Ron walked with me to breakfast the next morning. I did not want to talk about what Harry and I had heard the previous night. Luckily, he did not want to discuss it either. He was going home with the Weasleys for Christmas; he would probably wait to tell Ron until then. Hopefully, I would not be around.

I was trying to keep the previous night's events out of my mind, and I was pretty successful until I saw Snape standing in the Entrance Hall. His eyes landed on me when I approached, and I knew who he was waiting for. I saw Harry and Ron stiffen beside me.

"Miss Hansen," he said to me, ignoring the boys, "I wish to speak with you for a minute."

"I – I've got to eat so I can get on the train," I said. What I had heard scared me, and I was not ready to talk about it just yet. I knew what Harry would say about him, and I did not want him to be right.

"Please, Crystal," Snape said. "It will not take long."

I was startled by his use of my first name. All of our previous encounters entered my mind, and I realized I had to give him a chance to explain. "Ok," I said. I glanced at Harry, who had his eyes narrowed at Snape. "Go on. I'll be fine."

Harry looked like he was about to protest, but then he shut his mouth and walked into the Great Hall with Ron.

"Let's talk in my office," Snape said once we were alone.

I nodded wordlessly and followed him down the hall. For a minute, it occurred to me that he might be mad at me for eavesdropping. He had, after all, told me to stay out of it. Of course, he did not have much of a right to be the one who was angry if he was involved in all of this. I was still not sure what to think about it all.

I took my usual seat in Snape's office. This felt much different than our previous meetings, though; tension hung in the air. I looked down at my hands, unable to focus my attention anywhere else.

"Crystal," Snape said in a surprisingly gentle voice, "I need to know what you heard last night."

I remained silent. What did he want me to say? I really did not feel like repeating everything; it was hard enough trying to keep it all out of my head.

"Crystal," Snape said a little firmer, "will you look at me?"

My head snapped up. I had not wanted him to see the fear in my eyes, and now I would have to explain. "He's one of them," I said, barely above a whisper. I swallowed. "Draco is a- a-"

"A what?" Snape said. "Say it. Out loud. You were the one who wanted to know, now face the truth."

I shut my eyes tightly. No... Why did I have to want to know? Why could I not have just left everything alone, knowing I could not change anything? Somehow, though, it was better to know. It was better to face the truth. At least then I would know what I was up against. So I opened my eyes and said, "Death Eater. Draco is a Death Eater." Saying it made me shiver.

Snape's eyes seemed colder as he stared at me, but maybe it was just my imagination. "Very good," he said. "What else did you find out?"

I swallowed again. It was now easier to go on. "He's been given a task. Something hard." I remembered the necklace. "He's supposed to harm or possibly kill someone." My eyebrows scrunched up in thought. Hermione was right about something. "This doesn't make sense, though. Why Draco? He's too young, and I doubt he signed up for it. Why-"

And then it hit me. I remembered the last day of school fifth year. Draco had been afraid his family would be punished for his father's failure. He said it would not be past Voldemort to so something against him or his mother... I had never dreamed it would be something like this.

"Yes?" Snape gently prodded me. "What is it?"

"He – he's not supposed to succeed, is he?" I said, looking at him with renewed horror. Realization was beginning to sink in, and I found I could no longer run away. "That's the point, isn't it? He wants Draco to fail so that he can punish him for what his father failed to do at the Ministry." It made too much sense to deny. Everything was adding up. The terror made my body feel numb.

"Yes," Snape said slowly. "That is what I have put together as well."

I knew what that boiled down to. Draco was in grave danger, and the thing was, it would probably be worse for him if he was actually able to succeed. He was not a killer; I knew that for certain. But if he did it anyway... I did not want to even think about the consequences. My hands moved to the arms of the chair and I gripped them hard. "That's why Narcissa asked you for help," I went on. "You made an unbreakable vow to... protect him? Is that it?" That seemed awfully vague, and it left me wondering if there was more.

"I'm sorry," Snape said, "but I cannot disclose that information."

I nodded. "It's alright." I was not sure how important it was. I was sure Harry would have loads to say about it. There was just one thing I needed to know. I swallowed hard before looking into Snape's eyes. "You-you're part of this, but you're on our side, right? I mean, can I trust you?"

Snape stared at me for so long that I thought he was going to say 'no.' I could not read his expression. My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for his answer. I _needed_ him to say 'yes.' I could not afford for him not to. I could not afford to lose him. Not when I had already lost so much. I was better prepared to accept a lie than to face such a disturbance in my life. There was only so much I could handle.

"Yes," Snape finally said in a slow and deliberate voice. "You can trust me. I am on your side, Crystal."

I bit my lip and nodded, feeling some relief flow through. That was what I wanted to hear. "And Draco You will – I mean-"

"I will do what I can for him," Snape said, "but he is making it very difficult."

I winced as I remembered the boy's words to the professor. "I know what you mean." Why did he have to be so independent and stubborn?

"You should get back to breakfast," Snape said. "You have a train to catch."

"Right." I gave him a weak smile as I stood up. "I'll see you next year, then."

Snape nodded. "Merry Christmas, Crystal."

I had already started walking to the door when I spoke. I looked back at him and said in a lighter tone, "Merry Christmas, Professor Snape."

***

Mrs. Weasley invited my family and some others over to her house for Christmas Eve. At one point, we were all sitting in the living room, which Ginny had decorated lavishly with paper chains. We were all supposed to be listening to a Christmas broadcast by Mrs. Weasley's favorite singer, Celestina Warbeck, whose voice was warbling out of the large wooden wireless set.

Fleur, Bill Weasley's fiancé, was talking so loudly in the corner that a scowling Mrs. Weasley kept pointing her wand at the volume control so that Celestina grew louder and louder. Then Fred and George started a game of Exploding Snap with Ginny. Ron kept shooting Bill and Fleur covert looks, as though hoping to pick up tips. My parents were sitting near Mrs. Weasley, and Emily and Lizzie were chatting to each other in another corner. Meanwhile, Remus Lupin was sitting beside the fire, staring into its depths. I was near him with Harry beside me.

"Oh, come and stir my cauldron,  
And if you do it right  
I'll boil you up some hot, strong love  
To keep you warm tonight."

"We danced to this when we were eighteen!" Mrs. Weasley said, wiping her eyes on her knitting. "Do you remember, Arthur?"

"Mphf?" said Mr. Weasley, whose head had been nodding over the satsuma he was peeling. "Oh yes ... marvelous tune..." With an effort, he sat up a little straighter and looked around at Harry, who was sitting next to him. "Sorry about this," he said, jerking his head toward the wireless as Celestina broke into the chorus. "Be over soon."

"No problem," Harry said, grinning. "Has it been busy at the Ministry?"

"Very," Mr. Weasley said. "I wouldn't mind if we were getting anywhere, but of the three arrests we've made in the last couple of months, I doubt that one of them is a genuine Death Eater--only don't repeat that, Harry," he added quickly, looking much more awake all of a sudden. He glanced at me, frowning when he noticed I was listening attentively as well.

"They're not still holding Stan Shunpike, are they?" Harry asked.

"I'm afraid so," Mr. Weasley said. "I know Dumbledore's tried appealing directly to Scrimgeour about Stan... I mean, anybody who has actually interviewed him agrees that he's about as much a Death Eater as this satsuma... but the top levels want to look as though they're making some progress, and 'three arrests' sounds better than 'three mistaken arrests and releases'... but again, this is all top secret..."

"Government," I snorted, and Mr. Weasley cracked a smile.

"I won't say anything," Harry said. He seemed hesitant about something. As his eyes turned on me, I had a sinking feeling I knew what he was thinking. "Mr. Weasley, you know what I told you at the station when we were setting off for school?"

"I checked, Harry," Mr. Weasley said at once. "I went and searched the Malfoys' house. There was nothing, either broken or whole, that shouldn't have been there."

"Yeah, I know, I saw in the Prophet that you'd looked... but this is something different... well, something more ... Crystal was there too."  
I was forced to listen as Harry recounted the story about overhearing Draco and Snape's conversation. As he spoke, I noticed that Lupin was listening carefully. When he had finished, there was silence except for Celestina's crooning.

"Oh, my poor heart, where has it gone?  
It's left me for a spell..."

"Has it occurred to you, Harry," Mr. Weasley said, "that Snape was simply pretending-?"

"Pretending to offer help, so that he could find out what Malfoy's up to?" Harry said quickly. "Yeah, I thought you'd say that. But how do we know?"

"You can't know for sure," I said.

"It isn't our business to know," Lupin said unexpectedly. He had turned his back on the fire now and faced Harry and across Mr. Weasley. "It's Dumbledore's business. Dumbledore trusts Severus, and that ought to be good enough for all of us."

I nodded, glad that he was seeing things straight. "Right."

"But," Harry said, "just say--just say Dumbledore's wrong about Snape --"

"People have said it, many times. It comes down to whether or not you trust Dumbledore's judgment. I do; therefore, I trust Severus."

"But Dumbledore can make mistakes," Harry argued. "He says it himself. And you--" He looked Lupin straight in the eye. "--do you honestly like Snape?"

"I neither like nor dislike Severus," Lupin said. "No, Harry, I am speaking the truth," he added, as Harry pulled a skeptical expression. "We shall never be bosom friends, perhaps; after all that happened between James and Sirius and Severus, there is too much bitterness there. But I do not forget that during the year I taught at Hogwarts, Severus made the Wolfsbane Potion for me every month, made it perfectly, so that I did not have to suffer as I usually do at the full moon."

"But he 'accidentally' let it slip that you're a werewolf, so you had to leave!" Harry said angrily.

Lupin shrugged. "The news would have leaked out anyway. We both know he wanted my job, but he could have wreaked much worse damage on me by tampering with the potion. He kept me healthy. I must be grateful."

"Maybe he didn't dare mess with the potion with Dumbledore watching him!" Harry said.

"You are determined to hate him, Harry," Lupin said with a faint smile. "And I understand; with James as your father, with Sirius as your godfather, you have inherited an old prejudice. By all means tell Dumbledore what you have told Arthur and me, but do not expect him to share your view of the matter; do not even expect him to be surprised by what you tell him. It might have been on Dumbledore's orders that Severus questioned Draco."

Harry suddenly turned on. "Crystal, you talked to Snape the next morning. What did he say to you?"

I frowned. "That's none of your business, Harry. It was a private conversation. But," I said, noticing his mouth opening I objection, "I will tell you that I trust Snape _on my own judgment_, not just Dumbledore's."

Harry's eyes flashed with surprise. "Well, why should I trust your judgment?" he said after a moment.

I stared at him incredulously. "Maybe because you're my friend? Or you're supposed to be, at least."

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

I rolled my eyes. "You're combating me at every corner."

"Maybe you're the one getting in my way," Harry said hotly. "I don't know why you're so friendly with Snape. You're blind to-"

"No!" I said sharply. "You're the one who's blind, Harry. You only see what you want to see, what's on the surface. _I_ see deeper."

"Or maybe you're just fooling yourself. What proof do you have?"

"Proof?" I scoffed. "The burden of proof is on the accuser. Innocent until proven guilty, or do British wizards no long follow the common law? Or a general sense of rights."

"I'm just saying," Harry said impatiently, "how can you be sure you can trust Snape?"

"Because he's never given me a reason _not_ to." I was gaining more passion as I spoke, and I noticed that everyone in the room was now staring at Harry and me. "He's done a lot for me this year when he has not had to. He's helping me with my pursuit of potions even though he is not longer the potions master nor my head of house. More important than that has been the emotional support he has given me, whether intentional or not. Through everything that is going wrong in my life, his lessons are what keep me going through the week. While everyone else is judging me or staying away, he understands what I am going through. So, I'm sorry for defending him when he's been critical to me not dying from emotional pain!"

I was breathing heavily as I looked around at the room. Everyone was staring at me in bewilderment or shock. Some of them had no idea what was going on with me, and the others probably did not know how bad it had gotten.

"Crystal," my mother said with a note of concern in your voice, "what pain are you talking about? What's wrong? Is it that Malfoy boy?"

If she had not mentioned Draco, _maybe_ I could have answered honesty; instead, I felt my anger flare up. "Yes!" I exclaimed. "But not for what you think! Draco is staying _away_ from me. He's doing what you _want_. _That_ is what's killing me. Are you happy now?"

"What's wrong, honey?" Mom asked gently.

"Like you care," I said.

"Crystal!" my father said sternly. "Do not talk to us like that."

"But it's true! All you care about is that I do what you want me to do with no questions asked. You don't care how I'm _feeling_. You never ask, and if I told you, you would tell me I'm wrong." My eyes were beginning to blur with tears. I had to get out of there. Everyone was staring. I stood up "I'm tired of being discredited. No one cares..." Then I bolted out of there, not waiting to see anyone's reaction.

I ascended the stairs and ran into the first room I could see, slamming the door behind me. I collapsed on the bed and let the tears fall freely.

Not long later, I heard a knock on the door. I ignored it. The person decided to walk in anyway. I sat up and wiped my eyes; I could now see George slowly walking towards me.

"Hey," he said gently. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible," I muttered.

"Right. Bad question," George said as he sat beside me on the bed. "I'm sorry you've been having such a bad year."

He wrapped his arms around me and I hugged him back, grateful for the comfort. Perhaps I had been too quick to say that _no one_ cared. "Thank you for writing to me," I said quietly. "It helps."

"I'm glad," George said. "Sorry I didn't come to you earlier. You said there was something wrong with you. I hope you'll be all right."

As I closed my eyes and felt myself calm, I wondered why I had given up George for Draco. It did not seem very rational. "You must think I'm crazy," I murmured.

"Yes, I do," George said, but his tone was joking, "but that's what you get for hanging around this family."

I pulled away from him and smiled slightly. "Right." And I was very grateful to have found them I only wished I could see George and Fred more often. They really knew how to lift the mood.

There was another knock at the door. Again, without an answer, the door opened. Fred and Ginny walked in together; Ginny was holding something in her hand.

"How's it going in here?" Fred asked, smiling at me.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Better," I said honestly.

Fred grinned. "Great."

"How about a game of exploding snaps?" Ginny offered.

I had to smile at her appreciatively. Ok, there were people here who cared how I was feeling; they were just not always able to be around. "That would fun." 


	50. Connection

I rode back on the train with my sisters. I had not spent much time with them all year because they were both in Hufflepuff, so it was good to have this time together. I was grateful that neither asked about my outburst on Christmas Eve.

The next morning, a large sign had been pinned to the common room bulletin board:

APPARITION LESSONS  
If you are seventeen years of age, or will turn seventeen on or before the 31st August next, you are eligible for a twelve-week course of Apparition Lessons from a Ministry of Magic Apparition instructor. Please sign below if you would like to participate. Cost: 12 Galleons.

A crowd had gathered so sign the paper, and I patiently waited my turn. The news was quite intriguing. It would be very useful to be able to Apparate. I did not feel great about it being down through the Ministry, but it seemed I had little choice in the matter.

Everyone was talking about the lessons that day. I gave a half-hearted comment when appropriate, but I was not really into it. Everyone knew by now that I had become very somber, anyhow.

I was sitting by myself at dinner until Ginny took the seat across from me. I looked up at her in slight surprise. "Hello. Where's Dean?" I had not seen Ginny alone in a long time.

Ginny shrugged. "With Seamus." She stared down at her food distractedly.

I frowned. Even if I had not been all there recently, I could tell that something was wrong. "What happened?" I asked gently.

Ginny looked up at me; I could tell she was trying to hide a grimace. "Nothing. We just... can't find much to agree about recently."

I looked at her sympathetically. "You've been arguing."

Ginny nodded. "I'm sure it's nothing serious. We'll get through it eventually."

It did not seem to me that she was so sure of herself. "Do you want to study with me after dinner? It'll take your mind off of it." It would also be good to spend some alone time with her.

"Sure," Ginny said with a slight smile. "That sounds great." She paused. "How are you holding up?"

"I've been better," I said, "but it could be worse. I'll manage."

"Let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

I gave her a small smile. "Thanks."

***

I was grateful when the time came for Thursday to come around. It was always different being with Professor Snape in class versus private lessons. I enjoyed the latter much more, not only because I felt like an outcast to both the houses that made up his Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

"Good evening, Crystal," Snape said when I entered.

I smiled, feeling pleased that he was still calling me by my first name. "Good evening, professor."

"Did you have a pleasant holiday?" he asked as I approached.

I frowned slightly. "Not exactly. Christmas Day was fine, I guess, but my family spent Christmas Eve at the Weasleys' along with some other guests. Harry is increasingly getting on my nerves, and now everyone knows it." I wondered if I was supposed to be talking about a student like this in front of a teacher. Then again, Snape did seem to hate Harry, for whatever reason.

"I was under the impression that you two were friends," Snape said in a tone I could not understand.

"So was I," I said sadly as I took my seat and set down my cauldron. "Apparently, we're not good enough friends for him to think my opinion worthy of his thought. He's too stubborn and hot-headed for his own good." And _he_ was the one whom the whole wizarding world depended on?

"Those are typical Gryffindor traits," Snape mused.

"All ones I do not posses," I said. I paused when I realized what I had said. "The second one, at least. I'm more _persistent_ then stubborn, though."

Snape smirked. "That's what you call it?" Before I could object, he added, "Let's get started with your work for tonight."

The potion he assigned was even harder than the last, but I found the challenge thrilling. It was good to be back in the swing of things after being absent from school for a couple of weeks. This was probably how Hermione felt about _every_ subject instead of just Potions. I vaguely wondered why she had not been put into Ravenclaw. I bet it had been a hard choice for the Sorting hat. Why did everyone act like the placement in houses was so cut and dry? Couldn't they see there was room for overlap?

It was late by the time I finished the first phase. "It must sit for a week," Snape said. "We will finish when you return. You are dismissed."

I nodded as I began to pack up my things. "Thank you, professor." I stood up, but then I remembered something. "Oh." I pulled a brown paper bag out from my school bag and set in on the desk in front of Snape. "This is for you."

Snape's eyes flashed in surprise, and he pulled the bag down to look, no doubt seeing the sweets inside. Then he looked back at me, his face showing a mixture of confusion and wonder. It was the most emotion I had seen out of him in a long time.

"For Christmas," I said in explanation. I slung my back over my shoulder and turned to leave.

"I see why Draco took such a liking to you," Snape said, causing me to stop.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Yeah, too bad it wasn't enough to keep him caring."

"Miss Hansen," Snape said sharply, and I turned around to look at him in surprise. "If you think that boy does not care about you, then you've been too blinded by your emotions to see the truth."

My mouth fell open in shock, and I stood gaping at him for several moments. Finally, I closed my mouth and swallowed. Then I dared to ask, "Has he said something to you?"

Snape stared at me with eyes that penetrated into mine. "There was no need."

***

I found myself in the library with my sisters on Sunday afternoon. As it was still cold outside, this was the only place we could really meet. There needed to be a room where students from all houses could mingle.

"I met a boy," Emily said chirpily.

I frowned at her across the table. "You're 13."

Emily's face fell. "So? You were 14 when you started going out with George."

"And didn't Ginny start going out with someone at the end of her third year?" Lizzie questioned from my left side.

"At the end," I repeated. I looked at Emily. "Just wait a little bit."

Emily rolled her eyes. "It's not like he's going to ask me out. He doesn't even notice me."

"Talk to him," I said. "Be his friend."

Emily stared at me like I had gone crazy. "_Talk_ to him? Be friends with... a boy?"

This time I rolled my eyes. "Yes. I was friends with both George and Draco before I started dating them. How are they supposed to figure out they like you if you won't let them get to know you?"

"It's not that hard," Lizzie said. "I have friends who are boys."

Emily looked between us with a frown. "Fine. But I'm not making a fool of myself."

I smirked. "Good luck with that. Just be natural. Well, I have to go. Have fun with all that." I left my sisters without say anymore. I had an essay to finish, and they were highly distracting.

When I reached my room, however, I found something that took my mind even further from homework. There was a letter on my bed. It was from Professor Dumbledore, requesting a meeting on Friday at eight.

***

Another Thursday rolled around. I had finally gotten back into the swing of things, and I was feeling slightly better. Harry and I were now totally ignoring each other, which was fine with me. Ron was always with Harry, so I did not see him much either. I talked with Hermione a few times. She was still fighting with Ron, and it was good to be around someone else who was going through something like this.

"Hello, Crystal," Snape said when I entered his office.

I gave him a slight smile as I approached. "Good evening, professor."

"You should get to work right away," Snape said, nodding at my cauldron on his desk, "while the time is still right."

"Of course," I said. There could be no conversation yet. That was fine with me. We both preferred to work in relative silence.

The instructions were difficult, but I managed to get through them all. Once I had finished, I stared, pleased, at the potion in the cauldron. Then I looked up at Snape for my assessment.

"Very good, Crystal," he said in approval. "Your skills are coming along very well. You should have no problem in class next year."

I felt pleased at his words. I knew he did not give out compliments easily, so I valued each one he gave me. "Thank you." I paused. There was something I wanted to talk about, but I was not sure how willing he would be to discuss it. I had to tread carefully less I ruin something. "Can I ask you something?"

Snape stared at me blankly. "You just did."

I frowned. "No. I-" I hesitated. I had not brought up the topic in several weeks. What if he shut me out? "I was just wondering... With everything going on in my life, I got me thinking... Sorry if this is too personally, but have you ever been... _together_ with someone?"

Snape stared at me expressionlessly for almost a full minute before he said slowly, "No. I have never had the time."

Somehow, I doubted this was the reason. I needed to know more. "Not even that girl-"

"We were friends... for a while," Snape said curtly. "But that was all."

Something about the way he said this seemed a bit strange. "For awhile? Did something happen?"

I saw Snape hesitate, and I was afraid I had gone too far in one day, but then he said carefully, "I was too deep in the dark arts for her liking. It was a mistake I regret, and it is one I wish I could have stopped young Draco from making."

I felt a spark of understanding. That made sense on multiple levels. This was something I would have to think about. "Ok. Thank you." I stood up and gathered up my things. I knew this was enough for now. "Have a good night professor."

"As well to you, Crystal."

***

I entered Dumbledore's office right on time. The first thing I noticed this time, however, was not the headmaster sitting at his desk but a crimson and gold bird sitting on a perch to the right. It was a phoenix. I recognized the bird as the creature that had helped Dumbledore escape from Ministry officials after Harry and I had been caught escaping from the Room of Requirement after a meeting of Dumbledore's Army.

"Good evening, Miss Hansen," Dumbledore said warmly. "Have you met Fawkes?"

I shook my head. "No." I did not know how I had missed the phoenix my first trip to the office. I walked closer and smiled at the bird. "Hello, Fawkes."

Fawkes let out a squawk.

"Amazing creatures, aren't they?" Dumbledore said, and I glanced at him. "Intelligent creatures with powerful healing abilities."

I nodded. I knew quite a bit about phoenixes. It said a lot about the headmaster if he had been able to domesticate one. I had never seen one up close. I wondered if this phoenix had been the inspiration for the naming of the Order of the Phoenix. "I've always liked the symbolization of their ability to regenerate themselves. Rebirth... Second chances..."

Dumbledore smiled knowingly. "Indeed."

After a moment of silence, I remembered the letter that had brought me there. "Why did you want to talk to me, professor?" I asked as I walked over to the chair and sat down.

"I simply wanted to see how you were doing after the holidays," Dumbledore said. "It has been awhile since we first spoke. Are you feeling better?"

I small frown appeared on my face. Was I feeling better? I was not sure what kind of answer he was looking for. "I'm better than I was at the beginning of the year, but I still feel terrible." I was learning how to survive, though. Somehow, I would get through this.

Dumbledore's smile saddened slightly. "Were the holidays refreshing?"

I held in a grimace as I remembered Christmas Eve. "I think it set me back, actually. Harry's probably talked to you by now. He told you what happened."

"About you two overhearing Severus and Draco?" Dumbledore said. "Yes, he did share his concerns with me."

"We kind of got into an argument about it on Christmas Eve in front of everyone," I said, feeling a little sheepish. "I was trying to defend Professor Snape."

This seemed to take Dumbledore's interest. "This he did not tell me."

I let out a small sigh. "He won't listen to me. I know Professor Snape better than him – and Draco, for that matter – but that seems to be a reason to _di_strust me. I thought he was my friend, but he seems to just want to get in my way."

Dumbledore was looking at me sympathetically. "I'm sorry to hear that, Miss Hansen. Do not judge Harry too harshly. I too thought I knew more than I did at that age. When you're sure you're right, you can miss something quite obvious. I am sure he does not mean you any harm."

"I guess," I mumbled, looking away. There was one other thing about the encounter that had made the break not so great, and I was wondering if I should tell him. He probably knew already, so there would not be much harm. "Draco is a Death Eater," I said quietly.

"Yes," Dumbledore said in a gentle tone.

"He doesn't want to be," I said confidently as I looked up at him.

"This is likely," Dumbledore agreed.

"Then the only way he can be saved is if Voldemort is defeated." My eyebrows scrunched as I thought through this. "Harry is our best chance, isn't he?"

"Yes, that is what I believe." There was something different in his expression now. He seemed almost grave.

"Then he has a lot to learn."

"So do we all."

I fell silent again. Fine, I would try to be nice to Harry. I would help him when he needed it, for he was my best chance at getting out of this mess. That did not mean I could change Draco's feelings about me, but at least he would be safe. That was the best I could wish for right now. It seemed like Dumbledore was waiting for me to speak again, so I said, "Thank you for sending me to Professor Snape. You were right. He's been helping me a lot... in ways I did not think possible."

Dumbledore smiled in a way that suggested he knew exactly what I was talking about, and I could have sworn I saw a twinkle in his eye. "Yes, I thought you two would be a good match. We all need friends during these hard times."

"Yeah, but being close to Professor Snape isn't making me many friends in Gryffindor," I said with an edge of bitterness in my voice.

"Do you wish to please them?"

I frowned at what he was implying. "Not for the sake of pleasing them. I won't stop what I'm doing just to make them like me. I'm just tired of feeling like an outsider in my own house." I sighed. "Maybe everyone is right. The Hat should have put me in Slytherin in the first place. It would have made everything easier."

The headmaster was smiling again. "Ah, but the Hat put you in Gryffindor. There is a reason for everything, Miss Hansen. The Sorting Hat insists it has never been wrong. It is up to you to assess this claim." He paused. "But, if I can say so, it seems to me that it takes much courage to go against your peers and defend those no one else will. Being a Gryffindor doesn't always have to mean physically fighting every battle. There is more than one way to defeat an enemy."

I thought about this for a few seconds. It brought me relief to know that I was not going crazy. Perhaps my way of being a Gryffindor was perfectly fine after all. "Ok, thank you professor," I said with a slight smile. "And being a Gryffindor does not mean I have to hate Slytherin. I did not choose that battle. I like and trust Professor Snape of my own accord."

"And he is fond of you too," Dumbledore said.

I thought about my last potions lesson. "I'm starting to see why." I could sense there was more to the story, but I would discover it all eventually. It just felt good knowing we had this connection.

"I do hope you do not change your mind," Dumbledore said.

I frowned slightly. "Why would I change my mind?"

There was something different showing in his eyes now, but I could not decipher it. "You know the hard position Severus is in, showing loyalty to both sides. There is much for confusion, and it does not seem like he is completely trusted by many on either side."

"But I do," I said.

Dumbledore smiled almost sadly. "Good. Stay with him. No matter how much he denies it, he needs friendship and support as much as any of us. Do not let him be alone."

I frowned as I thought about his words. "Ok. I won't. But aren't you his friend? You'll be here, right?" Anxiousness suddenly pricked my chest.

"Of course," Dumbledore said. Now there was definitely something strange about his smile. "We just never know what will happen." He suddenly sat up straight and brightened. "Now, you better get back to your dorm. It's getting late."

I was still thinking as I stood up and pushed in the chair. "Wait... Is something going to happen? Is Draco-"

Dumbledore had stood up and was guiding me out of the office. "Good night, Miss Hansen."

Before I could say anything else, the office door was shut. 


	51. Apparition

Once again, the snow melted away too soon. Why did it always go away once it hit February? It would not have been so bad if it were not still cold and wet. Winter was no fun without snow; now there was no reason for me to venture outside. I found myself eagerly awaiting spring.

The first apparition lesson was the morning of the first Saturday in February, and it took place in the Great Hall. I was a bit less eager than the others (partly due to having to wake up so early on the weekend), but I was still intrigued by the prospect of learning to apparate.

I arrived on my own, and I stood by myself once I entered the room. I saw the tables had been cleared away. The Heads of Houses and a small wizard who was probably the instructor from the Ministry stood in the front. I ignored the incessant chatter of students as we waited and chose to focus on the rain lashing against the windows. I noticed Hermione but did not go to her because she was standing with Harry.

"Good morning," the Ministry wizard said when all the students had arrived and the Heads of House had called for quiet. "My name is Wilkie Twycross and I shall be your Ministry-Apparition Instructor for the next twelve weeks. I hope to be able to prepare you for your Apparition test in this time--"

"Malfoy, be quiet and pay attention!" Professor McGonagall barked.

Everybody looked round. Draco had flushed a dull pink; he looked furious as he stepped away from Vincent Crabbe, with whom he appeared to have been having a whispered argument.

"--by which time, many of you may be ready to take your test," Twycross continued as though there had been no interruption. "As you may know, it is usually impossible to Apparate or Disapparate within Hogwarts. The Headmaster has lifted this enchantment, purely within the Great Hall, for one hour, so as to enable you to practice. May I emphasize that you will not be able to Apparate outside the walls of this Hall, and that you would be unwise to try. I would like each of you to place yourselves now so that you have a clear five feet of space in front of you."

There was a great scrambling and jostling as people separated, banged into each other, and ordered others out of their space. The Heads of House moved among the students, marshalling them into position and breaking up arguments.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Harry scurrying away from Hermione. My eyes narrowed when I saw that he was heading towards Draco. He was probably hoping for a chance to eavesdrop. There was probably nothing I could do to stop him, but I was not going to let him gain more information than me. I silently slinked through the crowd until I got to the back where Harry was standing directly behind Draco. Vincent was standing five feet away from Draco to the side, so I stood behind him. Harry noticed me and sent me a glare, and I returned it in kind.

Draco was taking advantage of the current upheaval to continue his argument with Vincent. "I don't know how much longer, all right?" he shot at him, oblivious to Harry standing right behind him. "It's taking longer than I thought it would." Vincent opened his mouth, but Draco appeared to second-guess what he was going to say. "Look, it's none of your business what I'm doing, Crabbe, you and Goyle just do as you're told and keep a lookout!"

"I tell my friends what I'm up to, if I want them to keep a lookout for me," Harry said, just loud enough for Draco to hear him.

I heard as well, and I shot him another glare.

Draco spun round on the spot, his hand flying to his wand, but at that precise moment the four Heads of House shouted, "Quiet!" and silence fell again. Draco turned slowly to face the front. I reluctantly did the same.

"Thank you," Twycross said. "Now then..." He waved his wand. Old-fashioned wooden hoops instantly appeared on the floor in from of every student. "The important things to remember when Apparating are the three Ds! Destination, Determination, Deliberation! Step one: fix your mind firmly upon the desired destination. In this case, the interior of your hoop. Kindly concentrate upon that destination now."

Everybody looked around furtively to check that everyone else was staring into their hoop and then hastily did as they were told. I gazed at the interior of my hoop and tried to focus on nothing else. Thoughts of the previous event occasionally flickered into my mind, but otherwise I was pretty successful.

"Step two," Twycross said, "focus your determination to occupy the visualized space! Let your yearning to enter it flood from your mind to every particle of your body!"

My eyes narrowed slightly as I tried to do as I was told. It was kind of hard to follow the instructions when I was also trying to pay attention to what was being said.

"Step three," called Twycross, "and only when I give the command ... turn on the spot, feeling your way into nothingness, moving with deliberation. On my command, now ... one--"

I blinked in surprise. What? We were Apparating already?

"--two--"

I tried to focus only on my hoop.

"--THREE!"

I turned on the spot, but nothing happened. Everyone else seemed to be having trouble as well. Harry had nearly fallen over.

"Never mind, never mind," Twycross said dryly, who did not seem to have expected anything better. "Adjust your hoops, please, and back to your original positions ..."

The second and third attempts produced no results. On the fourth attempt, there was a horrible screech of pain and everybody looked around, terrified, to see Susan Bones of Hufflepuff wobbling in her hoop with her left leg still standing five feet away where she had started. The Heads of House converged on her; there was a great bang and a puff of purple smoke, which cleared to reveal Susan sobbing, reunited with her leg but looking horrified.

"Splinching, or the separation of random body parts," Twycross said dispassionately, "occurs when the mind is insufficiently determined. You must concentrate continually upon your destination, and move, without haste, but with deliberation ... thus." He stepped forwards, turned gracefully on the spot with his arms outstretched and vanished in a swirl of robes, reappearing at the back of the Hall. "Remember the three Ds and try again ... one--two--three--"

But an hour later, Susan's Splinching was still the most interesting thing that had happened. Twycross did not seem discouraged. Fastening his cloak at his neck, he merely said, "Until next Saturday, everybody, and do not forget: Destination. Determination. Deliberation."

With that, he waved his wand, vanishing the hoops, and walked out of the Hall accompanied by Professor McGonagall. Talk broke out at once as people began moving towards the Entrance Hall.

Ron caught up with Harry, and I lost both of them in the crowd. I had trouble locating Draco as well. I was wondering what he was up to that required lookouts, but my analyzing mind never produced much. I decided to just head back to the common room and relax a little bit. Trying to apparate took a lot of mental strain.

***

I continued to avoid Harry over the course of the next week. I was not sure what I could say to him to make anything better. If he was going to be a prat, then the best thing I could do was stay out of his way. Of course, I would be there to help him when he needed. I was still on his side; my loyalties were just more complicated.

I was slightly distracted when I brewed my potion during my lesson with Snape on Thursday, but I was still able to perform reasonably well. Snape seemed to catch on, though.

"Is everything alright Miss Hansen?" he asked as we waited for the potion to stew.

"Not really," I said. "I don't want to talk about it." There was not much to talk about anymore. I had already told him all about my problems. What would this little bit of new information add?

"Very well," Snape said.

I hesitated. I still wanted to talk to him because it made me feel better; there was more I still wanted to know about him. "I was wondering though, what is the name of the girl you loved? It would just help my mind if I had a name." Referring to her as 'the girl' could get quite tiresome.

Snape stared at me for awhile like he always did before answering my questions. And, like the other times, he responded slowly, "Lily."

I nodded. "Oh. That's a nice name." I did not have a last name, but this was good enough. There was something about this name, though, that nagged at my mind. I had heard it before. Then I figured she must have been a student that Slughorn talked about, among many others. It was no big deal.

***

The weather grew worse as March approved. Now it was windy as well as wet. I hated wind, especially with rain. Why couldn't the cold just go away? To make matters worse, Hogsmeade was cancelled. I found myself with a lack of things to do except roam the hallways alone. Apparating was still highly difficult, and I was growing frustrated with my attempts. On a more positive note, I was getting used to my life again. I was surviving.

I walked down to the Great Hall with Hermione for the Apparition lesson the Saturday of the cancelled Hogsmeade trip. She said she figured Harry and Ron had already gone done together, but as the meeting started, we couldn't catch sight of either of them.

"I wonder where Harry is," Hermione said as we walked back after the lesson.

"Don't know, don't care," I said.

Hermione frowned. "You're still fighting?"

"You and Ron are still fighting," I said.

Hermione opened her mouth to reply, but she was stopped short by Harry running towards us. She looked at him in surprise. "Harry. You're late."

"Ron has been poisoned," Harry said. "He's in the hospital wing."

Hermione and I both gasped. Ron was not my favorite person in the world, but I did not want anything to happen to him. Plus, he was my best friend's brother.

"What happened?" Hermione asked.

Harry quickly related the story to us. Romilda Vane had sent Harry chocolate cauldrons laced with love potion for Christmas. Harry had thrown them away, but Ron thought they were a birthday present. Ron ate the cauldrons and fell in love with Romilda. Harry took him to Slughorn, who cured him. Slughorn offered them all mead, but Ron became poisoned when he drank it. Harry saved his life by stuffing a bezoar down his throat. I was actually quite impressed by Harry's quick thinking. Maybe he was paying attention in Potions after all.

"Will he be alright?" Hermione asked, seeming worried about him for the first time in a long time.

Harry nodded. "Madam Pomfrey says he'll have to stay in the hospital wing for a week or so. She won't let anyone see him yet. Let's find Ginny and wait outside the room."

"Good idea," Hermione said. She glanced at me. "Are you coming?"

"Ok," I said. It was not like I had anything better to do. Besides, I wanted to be there for Ginny and Hermione and make sure Ron was fine. I pushed ulterior motivations to the back of my mind. 


	52. Poison

We were not let into the hospital wing until eight. Fred and George arrived ten minutes later. Ron was lying unconscious in a hospital bed. Ginny, Hermione, and Harry sat around him. George pulled up a chair next to Ginny and Fred pulled one next to Harry. I took a seat in between the twins, next to Hermione.

"How exactly did it happen, Harry?" Fred asked.

Harry recounted the story again. I had already heard it more than once, but I still listened. I was not sure what I was supposed to feel. It was an accident, a terrible accident. And yet... this was not the first time something like this happened this year.

"Blimey, it was lucky you thought of a bezoar," George said in a low voice.

"Lucky there was one in the room," Harry said.

Hermione gave an almost inaudible sniff. Like me, she had been exceptionally quiet all day. Neither of us had taken much part in Harry and Ginny's obsessive discussion about how Ron had been poisoned until we had been allowed in to see him. I knew we had different reasons, though.

"Do Mum and Dad know?" Fred asked Ginny.

"They've already seen him, they arrived an hour ago--they're in Dumbledore's office now, but they'll be back soon..." Ginny said.

There was a pause while we all watched Ron mumble a little in his sleep.

"So the poison was in the drink?" Fred said quietly.

"Yes," Harry said at once. "Slughorn poured it out --"

"Would he have been able to slip something into Ron's glass without you seeing?"

"Probably," Harry said, "but why would Slughorn want to poison Ron?"

"No idea," Fred said, frowning. "You don't think he could have mixed up the glasses by mistake? Meaning to get you?"

"Why would Slughorn want to poison Harry?" Ginny asked.

"I dunno," Fred said, "but there must be loads of people who'd like to poison Harry, mustn't there? The 'Chosen One' and all that?"

"So you think Slughorn's a Death Eater?" Ginny said.

"Anything's possible," Fred said darkly.

"I doubt it," I said.

"He could be under the Imperius Curse," George said.

"Or he could be innocent," Ginny said. "The poison could have been in the bottle, in which case it was probably meant for Slughorn himself."

"Who'd want to kill Slughorn?"

"Dumbledore reckons Voldemort wanted Slughorn on his side," Harry said. "Slughorn was in hiding for a year before he came to Hogwarts. And..." He thought of the memory Dumbledore had not yet been able to extract from Slughorn. "And maybe Voldemort wants him out of the way; maybe he thinks he could be valuable to Dumbledore."

"But you said Slughorn had been planning to give that bottle to Dumbledore for Christmas," Ginny reminded him. "So the poisoner could just as easily have been after Dumbledore."

"Then the poisoner didn't know Slughorn very well," Hermione said, speaking for the first time in hours and sounding as though she had a bad head cold. "Anyone who knew Slughorn would have known there was a good chance he'd keep something that tasty for himself."

"Er-my-nee," Ron croaked unexpectedly from between them.

We all fell silent, watching him anxiously, but after muttering incomprehensibly for a moment, he merely started snoring. Then a thought struck me. A terrible thought. I wondered why it had not occurred to Harry.

The doors flew open, making us all jump: Hagrid came striding toward us, his hair rain-flecked, his bearskin coat flapping behind him, a crossbow in his hand, leaving a trail of muddy dolphin-sized footprints all over the floor. "Bin in the forest all day!" he panted. "Aragog's worse, I bin readin' to him--didn' get up ter dinner till jus' now an' then Professor Sprout told me abou' Ron! How is he?"

"Not bad," Harry said. "They say he'll be okay."

"No more than six visitors at a time!" Madam Pomfrey said, hurrying out of her office.

"I'll leave," I said instantly and stood up. I did not know if I would be able to stay much longer anyway. I needed to get to bed before my imagination got out of control.

"Thanks for being here," George said.

"Take care," Fred added.

I gave them a weak smile before turning and exiting the hospital wing. I had just enough time to make it back to Gryffindor Tower before curfew. I was glad the next day was Sunday; there was something I had to do.

***

I awoke earlier than normal on a Sunday but still too later for breakfast. The school should really consider serving brunch on weekends instead. Anyway, I soon remembered the events of the previous day. I wondered if anything else had been found out about the accident. I knew there was one place I wanted to check.

There were several Gryffindors in the common room when I entered. I quickly headed for the exit, but then Harry called out to me, "Crystal!"

I immediately tensed. Whatever _he_ wanted, it could not be anything good. I took a deep breath, turned around, and gave him my best smile. It seemed like he had just stood up from the couch, and he took several paces towards me.

"Dumbledore's angry with Snape," Harry told me.

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. This was not what I had expected him to say, and it did not make much sense. Weren't they close? "Why? Did he tell you?"

Harry shook his head. "Hagrid told me. He overheard them arguing. Snape promised he'd do something for Dumbledore, but he doesn't want to anymore. Dumbledore also doesn't seem to like how well he has been investigating students in his house."

Worry began to seep through me. I knew all the Heads of Houses had been asked to investigate their students because of the necklace, but why would Snape not be doing a good enough job? Had he found out who it was and not told Dumbledore? Why? The first half of problem was a bit easier to figure out. "Snape's an agent for Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix, right?" I said. "It must be hard pretending to be a Death Eater if he doesn't really believe like they do."

Harry shrugged. "Maybe. Has he let out anything to you?"

So, that was why he was talking to me about this. I should have known. He wasn't looking for my opinion; he wanted information. "He hasn't said anything," I said a bit more tersely than I had intended. Then I remembered that his best friend was in the hospital wing, and I calmed myself. "I can't just ask him either. Our relationship isn't like that. You'd have a better shot asking Dumbledore."

"That won't happen," Harry said with annoyance in his voice. "He refuses to talk about Snape."

_Probably because of your attitude towards him. _"Well, thanks for letting me know. I'll see what I can figure out."

Harry nodded. "Right."

I paused. "Oh, Harry? I'm sorry about Ron. It must be terrible."

"Thanks," Harry said.

"I'll let you go now. See you later, Harry."

Harry gave me a weak smile. "Goodbye, Crystal."

As I turned and left, I thought that was the most pleasant conversation we had had all year. I was not holding my breath for many more of them, though.

I passed several people in the halls, but I was too focused on my goal to take much notice of them. My heartbeat as increasingly quickening as I walked; I had to do this now before I lost. I don't know what I was expecting. I did not even know if I would find anything. I just had to do something before I lost my mind.

I quickly descended the stairs leading down to the dungeons, and I had to skid to a halt to prevent myself from running into someone. My heart leapt into my throat when I saw that I had come face-to-face with Draco. I knew there was a look resembling fear on my face, but I could not make myself do anything else.

Draco seemed surprised to see me, and he stood frozen as well. A moment later, however, a scowl took over his face. "What's your problem?"

I closed my mouth when I realized it was open and swallowed hard. He was actually expecting an answer; this was my chance to say something to him. I racked my brain for the right words, but I seemed to have lost them. I said the first thing I could think of. "Ron was poisoned."

"One of his friends finally got sick of him?" Draco said. He took a step back, giving me more room to breathe.

I blinked at his response. I guessed I was not specific enough. "No. Slughorn gave him poisoned mead by mistake. Someone had sent it to him."

Draco seemed more troubled now, but he did a good job of hiding it. He crossed his arms and glared at me. "So? Why is this my problem? Slughorn is a potions master. He should have figured it out on his own."

"He was going to give it to Dumbledore," I said. "Any idea who'd want to get rid of him?"

Draco scoffed. "Loads of people. Have you heard of the Dark Lord?"

"It had to have come from inside Hogwarts," I said. "Unless Death Eaters have suddenly become way more ingenious than they used to be."

"I wouldn't know anything about them!" Draco exclaimed, his eyes blazing. "Why don't you just leave me alone? Go back to where you belong."

But I had already come this far; there was no way I was letting him go now that I had him in my grasp. "_Something_ is going on with you. You're up to _something_. Someone's going to figure it out, so just stop it before someone gets hurt."

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Draco said hotly. "You don't understand."

"Only because you're not telling me anything!" I forced my mouth closed when I realized that I had been shouting. I could not become angry with him, even if he was angry with me; I had to remain rational. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He was still glaring at me, and it unnerved me. "Look, if you don't like or care about me anymore, fine, but you know you can still trust me. I want to help you." I gave him what I hoped was a sympathetic look. I did not want to fight.

For a moment, Draco's expression seemed to soften as well. He dropped his arms to his sides and glanced won. "You can't help me," he said quietly. "No one can."

I was struck by his suddenly soft tone. Had I broken through his defenses? Would I be able to get in. "Maybe I could-" I began carefully. "If you just told me-"

"No," Draco said roughly, snapping his head up to glare at me again with cold, hostile eyes. "You don't get it. I don't need your help. I don't _want_ your help. I am perfectly fine."

The statement was such an outright lie that I almost laughed out loud. Instead, I calmly said, "Not from what I've gathered. Whatever's going on psychologically is impacting you physically. And it's not just me. Harry has noticed as well."

"Tell Potter to mind his own business," Draco snarled, his eyes flaring.

Whoops. Perhaps I should not have mentioned Harry. Too late. "Like he'd listen to anything I said," I muttered. "He's as stubborn as you."

"We are nothing alike!" Draco retorted.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I was sure Harry would assert the same thing, and both were more wrong than either could handle. I shook my head and sighed. "Never mind. Will you just tell me what's wrong?"

"_You_ are what's wrong," Draco said coldly. His look caused me to shiver. "I don't want this. I don't want to _feel_ this. You ruined everything."

A puzzled look crossed my face. I could hear someone walking down the hall, but I was too distracted to care. "What are you talking about? I just want what's best for you. I'm on your side, Draco."

Draco's eyes narrowed. He crossed his arms again and walked closer to me. "Don't be," he said in a low voice, causing a shiver to run down my spine. And, before I could stop him, he was gone.

"Crystal."

I spun around to find Snape standing several feet across the hall, watching me with his usual expression. I wondered how much he had heard. I did not care, for I was grateful to see him. There was no one else who would understand what I was feeling at the moment. Our eyes locked, and I knew he was thinking the same thing. I followed him as he turned to walk down the hall.

He led me into his office and closed the door. "Ron was-" I said once I was certain we were alone.

"I know," Snape cut me off. He did not look at me as he walked to his desk, me trailing behind. "I inspected the mead. Quite foolish, whoever was responsible."

"It was Draco."

Snape turned around and looked at me with slightly raised eyebrows.

I took a deep breath. It was time to explain my theory. I had to find out if I was true. "That's what Voldemort told him to do, isn't it? The impossible task he's supposed to fail so Voldemort can punish his father. Kill Dumbledore..." I shook my head. It all made too much sense. "You knew this, didn't you?"

It took Snape a moment to respond. He gazed at me steadily and then slowly said, "Yes."

Something else occurred to me. "And you said you'd help him. You made an unbreakable vow." And then everything clicked. I understood what Harry had told earlier. I knew what Snape and Dumbledore had been arguing about. I knew what Dumbledore wanted him to do. Why, I had no idea, but it was the only thing that made sense. I suddenly hated my tendency to over-analyze things until I figured them out. I didn't _want_ to know this. It was too terrible.

"No," I said, shaking my head in denial. I took a step back. "No..."

One look at Snape's face and I knew I was right. There was definite sorrow in his eyes, which was something I had never seen there. "Crystal," I said, reaching out a hand to me.

"No," I said again. I moved away so that he could not touch me, though I immediately regretted it. _He_ was not the one I was afraid of. He was a victim. I had to show him that I understood. I swallowed hard before speaking again. "He – Dumbledore – wants you to do it, but you don't want to."

Snape dipped his head. "Yes," he murmured.

Slowly, my fear melted into compassion. I could not imagine what it would be like to be in his position. Dumbledore seemed to be his only real friend... I thought I finally understood why Snape allowed me to talk to him and ask questions. Perhaps he needed me as much as I needed him right now. There was no way we could fix each other's problems, but perhaps simply being there for each other would be enough to provide some comfort.

I took a deep breath before stepping closer to him. "I'm sorry," I said softly. I was unsure of my next move, but I had to give it a try. I tentatively put my arm around his back. When he did not push me away, I wrapped my other arms around him in a hug. I felt him flinch in surprise, but he did not pull back. Then, slowly, he placed his arms around me in return.

I leaned my head against his chest and let out a sigh. The embrace felt good, but my mind was still spinning with thoughts. Why was life so unfair? I was dreading the future, for I knew what it would hold. Would Snape actually do it, or would Draco get to it first? Either way, someone I loved was going to end up hurt, and that would wound me as well. 


	53. Comfort

The attended the Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff on Saturday. I got Lizzie to join me, but Emily insisted she had better things to do with her time. Everything was going well until McLaggen grabbed a beater's bat and pelted Harry with a bludger, cracking his skull. Harry ended up in the hospital wing. Later, Ginny told me she and Dean had a fight because Dean found the incident funny.

Harry and Ron both left the hospital wing on Monday. My relationship with both of them continued to be alright. We were not best friends, but I was not fighting with them. A week later, however, Harry went back to getting on my nerves. I think he missed it.

I was walking along the hall on the 7th floor where the Room of Requirement was concealed when I bumped into nothing. Except, when I looked again, it wasn't nothing; it was Harry's head. I blinked several times but then realized he must have been hiding under his cloak of invisibility. "What are you doing?" I said.

"Try to get into the Room of Requirement," Harry said. "And trying not to get caught."

I frowned. "By who?"

"Crabbe and Goyle."

Uh oh. This could not be good. "I'm going to regret asking this, but where do you want to go in the Room of Requirement?" I asked warily.

"I don't know," Harry said. "Malfoy's been doing something in there, and I want to find out what it is."

I tried not to roll my eyes. Really, I should have known. "Ok, one, there's no way to get in there if you don't know what he's doing, and two, it's none of your business what he's doing. Why can't you just leave him alone? This obsession is not healthy."

Harry shot me a look. "I _have_ to find out what he's doing. I can't let him hurt someone if I can help it." His expression suddenly turned thoughtful. "Hey, maybe the door would open for you. You want to see Malfoy – I mean, Draco – don't you? Perhaps the room will like you."

I frowned at the suggestion. Did he really think I would help him? "I'm sorry, but I don't think it will open for me."

Harry blinked. "Why not?"

"I don't really want it," I said. "I don't _want _you to find him, so it won't work for me. Even if it would, I would never help you with this. Now, excuse me; we're going to be late for Defense Against the Dark Arts."

I left Harry standing there gaping at me. Several moments later, however, he called out, "Right, you've got to go suck up to Snape!"

My eyes widened, and I spun around on my feet. "You know _nothing_!" I said, glaring at him. I did not wait around for his response.

***

I managed to survive another month with my new life. I had become used to how things were, but I was still slightly on my guard in case yet another incident decided to disrupt my life. Then my mind began to remind me that, even if stable, my life was not what I had wanted. If something did not change soon, only misery could ensue.

One night during my private lesson with Snape, I was absentmindedly stirring my cauldron. Even potions seemed to have lost its luster.

"Is there something on your mind?" Snape asked casually.

I looked up and blinked. "No. I mean, I'm just thinking how things could have been different, even though I know I can't change them, you know?"

It took a moment for Snape to respond, but then he said slowly, "Yes. I know exactly what you mean."

I looked down at the table I was sitting at, frowning. "Maybe it's silly, but I wonder what would have happened if I had been placed in Slytherin. The hat had considered it. Maybe if I had asked it..."

"Some aspects of your life would have been different, perhaps even easier, but the Dark Lord would still be the Dark, and he would still be able to take your peers from out of your grasp."

I felt troubled at his words. Right, there would not have been any real difference. "And my family may have disowned me." I tried to smile, but it came out weird. Snape just stared at me. Then another question entered my mind, and I could not help myself. "Professor, that girl you loved – Lily – which house was she in?"

Snape studied my face for a long time. It seemed like he was trying to decide if he should tell me. Finally, he said, "She was a Gryffindor."

I could not help the gasp that escaped my lips. My mind began working overtime, trying to piece everything together. He said they had been friends... "But – I – So-"

"Yes," Snape said, as if he could read my mind. "You and Draco were not the first."

"You were friends, so what happened?" I asked anxiously.

"Unlike Draco, I _wanted_ to practice the Dark Arts," Snape said with a hint of regret in his voice. "I _wanted_ to join the Dark Lord. Lily knew it, and she could not handle it."

I bit my lip. "But-"

"Would _you_?"

I frowned as I thought about it. "Well... Maybe not."

"And it was not like she was in love with me as well," Snape went on. "She had someone else."

"Oh," I said quietly. I paused. "Do you think things could have been different if you had...?"

"I do not know," Snape said. "I never had the chance to find out, nor the courage to tell her the truth."

I felt a rush of compassion for him, and I let it show through my gaze. "Is that why you were trying to help Draco and me when we were... together?"

Snape nodded his head slightly. "Yes. I did not want him to make the same mistake I did."

"But now it's too late," I said, looking down at the table and frowning miserably.

"Perhaps not," I heard Snape say.

I did not respond.

***

The Apparition test took place on April 21st. I was not seventeen yet, so I could not join my peers. Instead, I had to attend classes with the few sixth years who were also not yet of age. Potions was my fist class. Only three other students joined me: Harry, Draco, and Ernie. Fabulous. I made sure to sit close to Ernie.

"All too young to Apparate just yet?" Slughorn said genially. "Not turned seventeen yet?" We shook our heads. "Ah well as we're so few, we'll do something fun. I want you all to brew me up something amusing!"

"That sounds good, sir," Ernie sycophantically said, rubbing his hands together.

Draco, on the other hand, did not crack a smile. "What do you mean, 'something amusing'?" he said irritably.

"Oh, surprise me," Slughorn airily said.

I watched Draco open his Potions book with a sulky expression, and then I followed suit. I flipped through my book, looking for something "amusing." I stopped on the page that described Gregory's Unctuous Unction. It was supposed to make the drinker believe the giver of the potion was their best friend. I glanced at Harry. I did not know what Slughorn would think, but giving the potion to _him _would certainly make _me_ amused. I immediately set to work.

Slughorn surveyed the potions an hour and a half later. He pronounced Draco's hiccupping solution merely passable, causing Draco to look glum. He was not amused either by Ernie's mess of a solution he had hastily invented. Then he turned to Harry. "Well, now, this looks absolutely wonderful," he said, clapping his hands together as he stared down into Harry's cauldron. "Euphoria, I take it? And what's that I smell? Mmmm... you've added just a sprig of peppermint, haven't you? Unorthodox, but what a stroke of inspiration, Harry, of course, that would tend to counterbalance the occasional side effects of excessive singing and nose-tweaking... I really don't know where you get these brain waves, my boy... unless --"

I noticed Harry pushed the Half-Blood Prince's book deeper into his bag with his foot, and I sent him glare across the table. Cheater. He had my potion coming.

"-- it's just your mother's genes coming out in you!"

"Oh... yeah, maybe," Harry said, relieved, sounding relieved. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

When Slughorn got to my potion, he smiled down at me and said, "Very good, Miss Hansen. Gregory's Unctuous Unction. I have not seen this one in awhile. Very creative."

"Do you mind if I try it out, professor?" I said, offering him my sweetest smile. "It is a harmless potion, isn't it? And you did want to be amused."

Slughorn blinked before smiling again. "Indeed, I did. Very well; choose any one of your classmates."

I cast Harry a wicked grin. "Harry," I said in a pleasant voice, "would you like the honor?"

Harry looked at me in surprise, and I could see a hint of fear in his eyes. "Um, what does this potion do again?" he asked uncertainly.

"Drink it and you'll find out," I said, pushing my cauldron toward him.

With everyone staring at him expectantly (even Draco was watching with a look of actual interest), he had no choice but to pick up a ladle and dribble some of the potion into his mouth. A second later, his eyes brightened, and he turned to look at me with a smile on his face. "This is great, Crystal. You're the best at potions. We have to hang out more. Are you free this afternoon?"

The rest of us, including Draco, burst out laughing. Harry had never been so friendly towards me. This potion was brilliant.

Harry looked around and blinked. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, my boy," Slughorn said jovially. "You lot better run along now."

I smirked when Harry followed close behind me when I exited the room. I wondered how long the potion would last. He would not be mad when he figured it out, would he? Nah. It was all in good fun.

*

The potion wore off in the afternoon. Harry was annoyed, but Hermione managed to take his mind off the incident, and the two of them left with Ron.

I was alone in the common room reading late that night when Ginny walked in, looking irritable. "Hey, is everything alright, Ginny," I asked with concern.

Ginny walked over to my couch, let out a heavy sigh, and plopped down beside me. "Dean and I broke up."

"Oh, what happened?" I asked, gazing at her sympathetically.

"He was always trying to help me through the portrait hole, like I couldn't climb in myself." She sighed again and shook her head. "There were more things like that. It happened a lot. I just want to be treated like I'm capable myself. I'm not a silly, defenseless girl."

"I know," I said. "I'm sure he had good intentions. You two were just not a good fit."

Ginny shrugged and looked down. "I guess," she mumbled.

I placed my hand on her shoulder and gave her a small smile. "You're a great person. You'll find someone who treats you the way you want to be treated."

Ginny glanced at me, seeming a little hopeful. "Really?"

"Of course," I said confidently. "And I'll always be here for you when you need me."

"Thank you, Crystal," Ginny said, smiling slightly. She leaned in and gave me a side hug, which I returned. "I'm here for you as well."

I smiled back at her. "Thanks."

*

Early May, I was taking a walk around the castle before dinner on the seventh floor when I heard a loud crash. Spinning on my heels, I darted down the hall to find the source of the noise. To y surprise, I found Harry darting to the girls' bathroom. I was confused until I remembered that the bathroom was not in use because of Moaning Myrtle, the ghost who haunted it. Did Harry want to talk to her?

"What are-" I began to say, but Harry cut me off with a sharp look. It was then that I realized he had had his ear pressed to the door. Was he trying to listen in on someone's conversation? That was awfully rude, though I had done the same in the past.

Harry put his finger to his lips and then turned and slowly opened the door. He made no move to get rid of me, so I stepped up behind him.

"Don't," I heard a girl's voice say. "Don't... tell me what's wrong ... I can help you..."

I leaned in closer so that I could see what was going on. I immediately put my hand over my mouth to keep quiet. I could only see Draco Malfoy standing with his back to the door, his hands clutching either side of the sink, his white-blond head bowed.

"No one can help me," Draco said. His whole body was shaking. "I can't do it... I can't... It won't work... and unless I do it soon ... he says he'll kill me..."

And he was crying. Draco was actually crying. My heart ached for him, and I wished there was something I could do to get rid of his pain. Then Draco gasped and gulped and then, with a great shudder, looked up into flu-cracked mirror and saw Harry and me staring at him over his shoulder.

Draco wheeled around, drawing his wand. Harry did the same. I instinctively ducked. Draco's hex missed Harry by inches, shattering the lamp on the wall beside him. Harry threw himself sideways and flicked his wand, but Draco blocked the jinx and raised his wand for another.

"No! No! Stop it!" Moaning Myrtle squealed, her voice echoing loudly around the tiled room. "Stop! STOP!"

"Yeah, cut it out!" I cried, my heart hammering in my chest. Shaking, I pulled out my own wand. I had to stun them before they did any serious damage to each other.

There was a loud bang and the bin behind Harry exploded. Harry's next spell backfired off the wall behind Draco's ear and smashed the cistern beneath Moaning Myrtle, who screamed loudly. I raised my wand and tried to steady my arm. Water poured everywhere, and Harry slipped as Draco, his face contorted, cried, "Cruci --"

"SECTUMSEMPRA!" Harry bellowed from the floor, waving his wand wildly.

This time, a spell hit its mark. Blood immediately spurted from Draco's face and chest as though he had been slashed with an invisible sword. He staggered backward and collapsed onto the waterlogged floor with a great splash, his wand falling from his limp right hand.

My blood ran cold as I watched him, and I was frozen in place. I felt completely numb.

"No --" Harry gasped. Slipping and staggering, he got to his feet and plunged toward Draco, whose face was now shining scarlet, his white hands scrabbling at his blood-soaked chest.

"No--I didn't --"

"Harry..." I said in a low voice. "What was that spell?"

"I – I don't know," Harry stammered. He fell to his knees beside Draco, who was shaking uncontrollably in a pool of his own blood. "It was scribbled in my potions book-"

Moaning Myrtle let out a deafening scream: "MURDER! MURDER IN THE BATHROOM! MURDER!"

Something finally snapped at me. "You cast a spell you didn't know?!" I cried, rushing over to Harry and Draco. "YOU IDIOT!" I fell to the floor beside Harry. I lifted my hands and found them trembling. My eyes were glued to Draco, unable to look away. There was a pain that was forming and growing in my chest; it was worse than anything I had ever felt.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered.

The door banged open behind us. After a few seconds, I turned my head around. Snape had burst into the room, his face livid. Pushing Harry roughly aside (but leaving me alone), he knelt over Draco, drew his wand, and traced it over the deep wounds Harry's curse had made, muttering an incantation that sounded almost like song: "Vulnera Sanentur." The flow of blood seemed to ease; Snape wiped the residue from Draco's face and repeated his spell. Now the wounds seemed to be knitting.

I was unaware of anything else besides what was going on in front of me. Any anger I had had against Harry was gone; all that was left was pain and fear for Draco. When Snape had performed his counter-curse for the third time, he half-lifted Draco into a standing position. Draco's eyes had been fluttering open and shut, but they steadied for a few seconds as they found mine. A second later, the connection was broken.

"You need the hospital wing," Snape said. "There may be a certain amount of scarring, but if you take dittany immediately we might avoid even that ... come..." He supported Draco across the bathroom. He turned at the door to say in a voice of cold fury, "And you, Potter... You wait here for me."

I stood up and stepped forward to follow them. They both looked at me. I stood still for a moment, afraid one or both of them was going to tell me to leave.

Draco stared me in the eye again, causing me to feel a strange sensation rising from my stomach to my chest. Then he looked away. I glanced at Snape; after a second, he gave me a small nod. With relief, I followed them out the door. 


	54. Confessions

Snape first took Draco to his office to give him a potion, and then he escorted him to the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey was not happy that I was there, but Snape convinced her to let me stay in the room. There were no other patients, so I stood on the other side of the room, watching, as the nurse tended to Draco.

It took about a half hour for her to finish her work, though it felt like hours to me. Just when Pomfrey told me it was alright to talk to him, the door opened and Snape entered. He stepped forward and spoke to Pomfrey. The nurse nodded before walking away.

I walked over to Draco's bed as Snape began to drag dividers over to him. Draco's eyes were closed; I could not tell if he was asleep or just resting. I stood at the head of his bed on his right side. A minute later, Snape had dividers all along the bed. Then he took out his wand and muttered incantations. I watched him with only slight interest; he was not my main concern.

"You may talk freely," Snape said. "No one will hear."

I nodded, though I could not fully comprehend what he was saying. I looked down at Draco, and my emotions resurfaced. I took his hand in both of mine and held onto it gently.

At my touch, Draco's eyes flickered open. His gaze was much more peaceful than I had seen in a long time. "Crystal..." he croaked.

The sound of his voice overwhelmed me. I could not contain myself any long; tears that had been months coming finally spilled out. Pain hit my chest, and I choked on a sob. I needed to release the emotions I had been carrying for far too long.

"Why are you crying?" Draco asked, his voice still low and hoarse.

I did not wipe my eyes because that would have involved letting go of him, so I stared at him through blurred eyes. "You're – you're asking me _why_?" how could he ask such a ridiculous question? New tears spilled down my cheeks.

Draco frowned. "I'll be fine."

I shook my head. "No, it's not just that. This was just the tipping point. It's _everything_." I sucked in a sharp breath. I had to tell him now. This could be the only chance I ever got to explain how I had been feeling for the past year. It may not have any effect on him, but at least I would get it off my chest. There were things I had to say if I was ever going to move on with my life. I managed to stop the tears long enough to speak again. "Do you have _any_ idea what it's been like for me this year? Do you know what you did to me?"

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"What did you _think_ was going to happen? Did you think I could just pick up my old life and act like nothing had ever happened?" I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The pain in my chest was growing ever stronger; it was strong and sharp rather than dull and numbing like I had gotten used to. "Every day has been a struggle. Sometimes, I don't know how I make it through. I've tried everything, but I can only numb the pain for awhile. Sometimes I am almost happy... Is this what you wanted?"

Draco looked partly shocked and partly pained. "I thought you would move on," he mumbled.

I could see he still did not understand; I would have to spell it out for him. "The thing is, I _could_ have gotten over you if this had been a normal breakup. I'm better and happier when I'm with you, but I don't _need_ you. This pain isn't for myself – it's for _you_." Tears filled my eyes. "Every time I think I'm fine, something happens to make me worry about _you_. It kills me to know that you're going through something terrible and I can't do anything to help. I'm sorry, but I can't help it. I love you, and it's not something I can just turn off."

Draco pulled his hand away and turned from me slightly. My tears had finished for now, but the pain was still present. Finally, Draco looked back at me, his face sorrowful and worn. "Crystal," he said softly, "I have to tell you something."

I knelt down next to the bed so that I could be closer to him. "What?"

Draco gazed at me with eyes swimming with many different emotions. Then he said clearly, "I love you."

I recoiled in shock. I had not been expecting to hear _those_ words coming from his mouth. It was too strange for my mind to comprehend. "But you said-"

"I lied," Draco said, seeming irritated about something. "I couldn't let you know the truth."

I was not sure what I was supposed to feel. I had spent months thinking he hated me. And now... It was hard for me to believe him, no matter how much I wanted to. "Why?"

"Show her," Snape said from behind me. I looked back at him in surprise; I had nearly forgotten he was there. "At this point, it is better for her to know. She can handle it."

Draco was frowning again, but he seemed to be considering the suggestion. "Fine," he said after a minute of silence. He lifted his left arm and brought it as close to me as he could. Then he locked eyes with me. "Roll up my sleeve."

I didn't want to. I knew what I would find, and I was afraid. Even though I already knew, it suddenly become real if I saw it. I would have to face it. I wanted to run like I had for the past two years. But the way Draco was looking at me made him seem so vulnerable. There was no one else he could turn to about this. I had to be the one to stay.

_Courage, _I thought. _I'm a Gryffindor. I need courage. Love demands it. _So, holding my breath, I stood up on shaky, grabbed hold of Draco's sleeve, and pulled. It took every ounce of strength I had to not let go and back away. I had to make the choice to stay for him. _I choose love. _The Dark Mark stared at me, taunting me to give into my emotions and leave. I forced myself to stay in position for several more seconds, and then I let go and looked at Draco's face.

There was definite fear in his eyes. "Well?" he said in a small voice that cracked again.

I had to tell him the truth; he would see through any lie. "It's what I feared all along," I confessed. "It's my worst nightmare... almost."

I saw surprise flicker across his face. "Almost?"

I nodded. "What I always feared most of all was that you would _want_ this."

Draco's expression softened as he stared into my eyes. "How do you know I don't?" he asked quietly.

"Because I'm not dumb," I said. "I've figured out a lot about what's going on. I've been observant, and you haven't exactly been inconspicuous."

Draco frowned, and he looked behind me at Snape.

"I have not told her anything," Snape said. "She put it all together herself. I merely confirmed what she already knew."

Draco exhaled loudly. "What do you know then?" he asked me.

I glanced at his arm and noticed that the Dark Mark was still showing. Draco shifted uncomfortably before covering it up again. My eyes flickered to his face. "I know you're supposed to kill Dumbledore. I know you've been trying and failing miserably. You're the reason Katie was cursed and Ron was poisoned." I paused. "And I know you're not supposed to succeed. This is just a punishment... for your father's failure to acquire the prophecy about Harry."

Draco looked away from me, seeming troubled about something. "He trusts me..."

I shook my head and gazed at him sadly. "No. Don't lie to yourself. The only person who thinks you actually have the mindset to kill someone is Harry, and he blinded by hatred. What were you threatened with? Death?" I had little doubt this was true, but I suspected there was something more. From what I had witnessed of Draco's psychological state, death could not have been that huge of a deterrent.

Draco looked at me and nodded. "And my parents," he said softly.

Ah, of course. He loved his family, and he did not want them to be hurt because of him. "I see," I murmured.

"Then do you see why I couldn't let you be around me?" He stared at me with serious and pleading eyes. "If the Dark Lord had any idea how much you mean to me..." I saw him gulp. "He would threaten to kill you as well, or perhaps he would as soon as he found out because of who you are."

That made a lot of sense, actually. I frowned and looked back at Snape. "Are those legitimate concerns?"

"I'm afraid so," Snape said. "Draco's life may also be in immediate danger. His relationship with you could be seen as treasonous."

"But isn't there something we can do? Can't Dumbledore or the Order help? Isn't there any place to hide?" My heart beat quickly again. My natural instinct was to find a way to escape. Was there really no way out?

"If the Dark Lord wants you dead, he will find you eventually," said Snape, almost regretfully. "There is no indefinite hiding place, but there is one location where all of you may have temporary reprieve, if you can make it there."

"Really?" I said, my chest bubbling with hope. "Where?"

"America. Not in Minnesota, for that would be too obvious. I doubt any of you are a high enough concern for the Dark Lord to make a trip there in the near future. The main concern is that, if he does conquer Europe, he will surely move on to the States."

Draco sighed in exasperation. "It won't work," he said glumly. "I can't leave school without being found out, and I have to do this soon... Besides, my father is in Azkaban. He's safe for now, but when the Dark Lord takes over and there is a breakout, he will be in danger if I try to leave."

I felt my hope deflate like a balloon. Crushed, I looked back at Snape. "Is there really nothing we can do right now?"

Snape hesitated before responding. "Not at the present moment, it would soon. Perhaps after this episode is behind us, there will be more options available."

"Why are you trying to help us?" Draco asked him. "Who' side are you really on?"

"He's on _our_ side," I said. "You can trust him. And stop ignoring him and running away from him. Let him help you if he thinks he can."

"Thank you, Crystal," Snape said.

Draco looked away and said nothing.

"You never told me why you had to lie to me," I said. "If being apart is really in my best interest, why couldn't you at least tell me what was going on? Why let me suffer?"

"I didn't want you to suffer!" Draco said forcefully as he looked back at me, his eyes blazing with the most life I had seen in them all night. "That is the point. I thought it would hurt worse if you knew the truth. If you thought I didn't care anyone, you could move on and find someone else. You wouldn't be left with false hope and the pain of knowing that something should have been but never could be."

I could see where this made some sense, but still... Didn't he know I always sought the truth, even if it hurt me? "Would it have made it better for _you_ if _I_ had done the same?" I challenged.

"Of course not," Draco said, "but that's different. I've never had anyone like you in my life. It's not likely I'm going to find something like this ever again. You could find a lot of people who would love you, though, and you could be happy without me. It does not make sense for you to love me with everything considered."

My pain and frustration began to melt as I listened to him. He had his heart in the right place; he wanted to love, but he still did not fully understand what love was. But it was not like there were many people around here who would disagree with him. "I still see better than you do. You still do not know who you are and what you are capable of. Everyone has flaws, and everyone makes mistakes. It is never too late to choose the good in you over the bad."

"But I don't have a choice!" Draco cried. "I _have_ to do it."

"There is always a choice," I said after a moment of silence. "That is the essence of free will. If you do the right thing, you are not responsible for the wrong choices of someone else."

Draco turned his head away slightly. His eyes roamed around as if they were searching for something. "I'm not like you," he said with sadness in his voice. "I'm not a Gryffindor. I'm not a hero."

"This is not about houses," I said firmly. "You are who you choose to be. You don't have to be a Gryffindor to have courage."

Draco leaned his head back and groaned. "You're not making this easier. It was not fully a lie when I said you have caused problems for me. You've done something to me. I can't just go on living like I used to. This mission would have always caused me a struggle, but now it feels like there's a war going off inside of me. I feel _guilt_ and _shame_. I _want_ to do the right thing, and it's causing me trouble."

"That's not a bad thing," I said softly. I reached out and touched his right hand with my left; he did not pull away. "We're both going through a hard time, and we could help each other if we were together."

"No," Draco said, shaking his head. "It's too dangerous."

"But what if it's worth the risk?" I said. "I don't care what happens to me."

"But I do." Draco took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then he looked at me earnestly. "I wouldn't care what happened to me either if you were safe. The worst thing that could happen to me would be if you died or were seriously injured." He turned his hand so that it was holding mine.

The look he was giving me was so sad and pathetic; my heart melted for him. He had discovered that there were some things worse than death. It was quite touching, really. It was then that I knew that he really did love. Maybe he had been right; this did seem to make the situation more painful. I could see no way out. If I wanted what was best for him, shouldn't that mean I keep myself safe? That meant staying away from him. It did not feel right, but I did not know what else we could do.

I did not want to leave him with nothing. He could have Snape, though, if he listened to him. I knew he would help. Perhaps he could even figure out a solution in time. I looked back at the professor and asked sorrowfully, "Do you agree? This is for the best?"

"Yes," Snape said. "I do."

"Fine," I said in exasperation as I looked back at Draco. "But can we stop acting like we hate each other? I don't know if I can stand that anymore."

Draco gave me a small nod. "Alright. As long as you don't get too close."

I took a deep breath. "Ok." I did not know what I was supposed to do now, so I looked back at Snape.

"You do not have to leave right now," Snape said. "I can let you two stay together until tomorrow morning. I will make sure no one bothers you."

"Really?" I said, feeling my heart give a little leap.

"If you both agree," Snape said.

I looked back at Draco expectantly.

"Alright," Draco said. "As long as no one finds out, it is fine with me."

A grin spread across my face. Would it make it worse to spend time with him now only to be ripped away? Maybe, but it was a cost I was willing to pay. A small smile spread across Draco's own face; I could tell he felt the same way. One last chance to be together. Perhaps this was the closure I needed.

"I must be going now," Snape said. "I will be back soon to check on you."

"Ok," I said.

"Thank you, professor," Draco said.

Snape gave a small nod before exiting.

I gazed down at Draco, and he looked back at me. We stayed like that for a full minute before either of us stirred. "So, how are you feeling?" I asked.

"Better," Draco said. "It doesn't hurt as much when I don't think about it." He looked at the bed and then up at me. "You can come closer, if you want to."

I did not need a second invitation. As Draco moved over, I scrambled onto the bed beside him. My heart beat quicker again, but this time it was a good thing. He wrapped his arms around me as I rested my head against his chest and held onto him as well. I breathed in deeply and let myself smile. For this one moment, I let myself believe that everything was going to turn out just fine.

*

My peace was torn for me way too soon. I blinked my eyes open to see Snape standing over me. "It's time to leave," he said with a gentle tone.

"No," I said stubbornly, and I buried my face in Draco's chest.

I felt Draco's hand move across my back. "Crystal," he murmured, "you have to go with him."

My thinking abilities were coming back now, and I knew that they were right. I held in a groan as I slowly sat up. I glanced down at Draco; he was gazing at me softly, but there was sadness in his eyes. I could not leave him just yet. I leaned down and pressed my lips against his. Immediate electricity shot through my body, and I found myself wanting more. I pulled away before it was too late for me to willingly depart.

"I love you," Draco whispered.

Tears formed behind my eyes. "I love you, too." I wanted to say something else, but no words would come. Snape's hand was on my shoulder. I slipped off the bed and let him lead me out. I looked back at Draco one last time, and then I was gone.

Snape escorted me back to Gryffindor Tower. It was very early in the morning, so no one else was around. Neither of us spoke as we walked. When we reached the entrance to the common room, I turned around to face Snape. "It's not fair, is it?" I said with tears in my eyes.

"No," Snape said, sounding almost remorseful. "Life is not always fair. I'm sorry."

The pain was returning. In an attempt to subdue it, I clutched onto Snape and hid my face in his robes. I could not contain the tears that began to fall; I let out a sob. Snape wrapped his arms around me as well and held me gently. He did not say a word. He did not need to, for his actions were enough. 


	55. The Struggle

After Snape dropped me off, I returned to my room and proceeded to lie down on my bed with my eyes shut. I did not get up until I heard everyone else in the room depart. Then I got up and readied myself for the day. I took a deep breath before heading back down to the common room, not knowing what to expect.

There were several Gryffindors exiting the room when I arrived. My eyes, however, were on the four who were in the middle of the room talking: Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. They slowly turned to look at me, and I froze.

"Crystal," Ginny said, taking a step forward, "are you alright?"

"No," I said flatly. "I'm worse than usual."

Ron and Hermione exchanged glanced; neither said a word.

"Crystal," Harry said in a weak voice, "I didn't mean to – I – I'm sorry."

He seemed almost sad and frightened as I looked at him. I had expected to feel anger towards him, but there was none. There was no room. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

Harry glanced down at the floor; a second later, he looked back up at me. "If it makes you feel any better, Snape gave me detention every Saturday for the rest of the year."

"Which means he misses the Quidditch game this weekend," Ron added.

"No, it doesn't make me feel better," I said, feeling slightly annoyed. "It's not going to change what happened. It's not going to change what _is_. Don't you get it? I don't want revenge. I want something to _change._"

The group exchanged awkward glances. Then Harry asked hesitantly, "Will he be alright?"

"He'll recover from what _you_ did to him," I said without malice, "but physical injuries are not the worst kind. You would know about that, wouldn't you?"

"Are you two talking again?" Hermione asked after a moment's pause.

"It's complicated," I said. I was not sure how much I was supposed to reveal. We would be acting differently toward each other, but I was not exactly sure what that entailed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ginny asked. "We could go somewhere else."

I shook my head wearily. "No; there's nothing to say. I would appreciate your company, though. Let's head to breakfast."

Ginny gave me a slight smile. "Alright. Come on then." She turned towards the door.

I began to follow her, but I stopped when I got to Harry. There was one more thing I had to do. I faced the boy and said in a serious tone, "Look, nothing in my life or _his_ is going to work right until Voldemort is defeated, so enough with all the distractions and useless pursuits. Do whatever you need to do to win. I will do anything within my means to help you. _Never _doubt me on that, alright?"

Harry had been avoiding my eyes, but now he looked at me with surprise, his mouth partly open. After a second, he nodded his head. "Alright, Crystal," he said.

I nodded once. "Good." I paused as I thought of something else. "It wouldn't have worked, you know."

Harry blinked. "What wouldn't have worked?"

"What Draco was trying to do to you. Did you see the state he was in? You've got to mean it to use an unforgivable curse." I was slightly pleased at Harry's gaping expression. Then I turned and walked out of the common room with Ginny. I could feel my weariness returning once we were in the hall; I knew the pain would hit soon.

"You're not going to tell me what's going on?" Ginny asked once we were alone.

I shook my head. "I wish I could, but I can't. There's too much at stake, and I shouldn't know what I do."

Ginny bit her lip as she looked at me, her gaze seeming worried. "Alright," she said. "Just let me know if there is anything you _can_ talk about."

I attempted a smile but mailed miserably. "Of course. Thanks."

***

Thursday could not come soon enough. I had a small problem, however. Though I was glad I would be seeing Snape, my passion for potions seemed to have sizzled out. With everything else that was going on, it just didn't seem to matter. I did not think I needed the extra lessons anyway, but I was reluctant to cancel the sessions.

"Good evening, Crystal," Snape said when I entered. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible," I admitted. There was no use lying to him; I might as well tell him the whole truth. I walked closer and set my cauldron down on the desk. "Honestly, I don't feel like potions right now."

"We do not have to meet if you are not up to it," Snape said.

"No," I said, snapping my head up. "I mean... can't we do something else?" I tried to rack my brain for a subject. There was only one class that seemed important at the moment. "Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

Snape looked surprised. "You're doing fine in that class, Miss Hansen."

I flushed. "I know. I just... There's always more to learn, right? And I don't know what's going to be happening soon. I want to be prepared."

Snape studied my face for a minute, and then he said, "I understand. If that is your wish, we can make it work. Let me see if you know anything beyond your current level. Can you produce a Patronus?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Show me."

I bit my lip in hesitation. Would it work with the current state of my emotions? I had to try; I doubted I would be calm when I needed to use it. I took out my wand, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I thought about Draco and chose the happiest memory I could find. I opened my eyes, still focusing on the memory, and said forcefully, "Expecto Patronum!"

A silver eagle emerged from the tip of my wand and flew around the room. I watched it calmly before glancing back at Snape.

"An eagle," Snape murmured. "Very good, Miss Hansen. Impressive work."

"They mean something, right?" I said. "The animal?"

"Yes," Snape said. "It is something of significance to the person casting the spell."

"Can I see yours?" I asked. "Just out of curiosity."

Snape did not respond at first. After a minute, he said, "Very well. I do not suppose it will do any harm." He took out his wand. "Expecto Patronum!" His wand produced a silvery doe, which proceeded to prance around the room.

I stared at the doe, my interest piqued. The creature was... not what I expected. I was not sure what it meant. Then I thought about Harry; his Patronus was a stag. I immediately brushed off the connection. It was just a coincidence, right? "Thank you, professor," I said.

Snape lifted his head slightly. "You have considerable control over your emotions. It is unusual for... those in your house."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I know."

"There is something I would like you to try," he continued. "It may prove useful in the future. It's called Occlumency. It will help you protect your mind against external penetration."

My eyebrows raised in interest. I had heard the word before, but I could not remember where. "Yes, that sounds good."

Snape nodded. "We will start next week." He paused. "Before I forget, Professor Dumbledore wanted me to give you this." He held out a folded piece of parchment. "He would like to meet with you on Saturday.

My eyes widened in alarm, and I backed away. "No, that's ok. I'm good."

"He's not going to bite."

I shook my head stubbornly. "I – I can't." My heart began to beat quicker. What had he told him? What was the reason for the visit? I did not want to face him; it would be too difficult.

Snape let out an exasperated sigh. "He wants to help you, Crystal."

I frowned and looked at him skeptically. "How can he help me?"

Snape held out the parchment to me again. "Go see him and find out."

I hesitated before taking the slip of parchment. I looked it over with a frown. "Fine," I mumbled. I looked up at Snape again as my gaze saddened.

"Is there anything else?"

One thought entered my mind. It was not one that I had considered before, but now it was tugging at me. "Did Harry tell you where he learned that spell?"

Snape waited a moment to respond. "No. He merely said he read it somewhere."

"It was his Potions book," I said. "It was an old one he found in the classroom. It had marks on it making corrections to potions, and there were also spells. The one he used against Draco was one of them."

"The Potions book Potter showed me was brand new," Snape responded. "He must have switched them."

"That sounds about right," I said with a sigh. "I hope he's gotten rid of it for good. He's been using it to cheat in class." My eyes darkened. "Hermione and I told him it wasn't right. There's something wrong with it... That curse was horrible. Who would think of something like that?"

"I would," Snape said quietly.

I looked at him in shock. "What?" _This_ I had not been expecting.

Snape was not looking at me now, but I could still see sadness and regret in his eyes. "That book was mine when I was in school. I am the Half-Blood Prince."

Silence engulfed us as I let the meaning of his words sink in. it was his book. He had invented the spell that Harry used. He had indirectly caused harm to Draco. "That explains why Harry was always able to do better than me in Potions," I said before my thoughts went out of control. "I understand the part. But the spells...?"

Snape turned his head away from me. He lowered it, letting his hair fall in his face. "It's not something I'm proud of. I told you I had been interested in the Dark Arts... That spell was intended to be used against Harry Potter's father since he was always attacking me publically, though I never got the chance. I'm sorry."

I remained quiet for another minute. I felt no anger towards him, either, only compassion. "It's alright," I said softly. "I know you're different now." I reached out and touched his arm. He looked at me with mild surprise. "Let's move past it. Everything is going to be fine."

"I hope you're right," Snape murmured.

***

I attended the Quidditch match on Saturday to watch Ginny take Harry's place as seeker. The other Gryffindors did not think we had much of a chance at winning. I was not sure what to think, nor did I care all that much; I was simply there to enjoy the game.

It turned out Ginny was a great seeker. She caught the snitch, and we beat Ravenclaw 450 to 140, which meant Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup. I was happy enough for my team to attend the party in the common room afterwards. I needed a reason to relax and celebrate. I also wanted to congratulate Ginny on a wonderful game.

The common room was buzzing with noise. Then the cheering suddenly grew louder, and I turned to see the cause of the commotion. Harry had just entered the room, looking dumbstruck. Several people pulled him into the room. I found my way over to Hermione as I looked on.

"We won!" Ron yelled, bounding over to Harry brandishing the silver Cup. "We won! Four hundred and fifty to a hundred and forty! We won!"

Then Ginny ran towards Harry with a blazing look in her face and threw her arms around him. Not even a second later, Harry kissed her. From the looks of it, she was kissing him back.

The room grew quiet. I felt dumb for not having seen this coming. How could I have been so distracted as to not have seen the attraction between the two? I was not sure how I felt about it. I supposed it was not the worst thing in the world for Harry to be spending time with a good girl like Ginny.

Hermione was smiling at the new couple. I managed a small one myself. My eyes trailed them as they exited the common room together. I stayed at the party a little while longer before heading to lunch; I had a meeting I was not supposed to miss.

*

I took deep breaths to calm my racing heart as I stepped into Dumbledore's office. It was the same as I remembered it. Dumbledore stood up when I entered. "Good afternoon, Miss Hansen," he said in a pleasant tone. He motioned to the empty chair. "Have a seat."

I suddenly felt too numb to disobey. I glanced at Fawkes as I sat down. The phoenix stared at me with piercing eyes as if he could see through my thoughts. I shivered.

"I am sorry to hear about Mister Malfoy," Dumbledore said, having sat down as well. "How is he doing?"

"He'll be fine... physically," I said. "For now, at least." I stared down at my lap.

"I'm sure Harry did not mean it, you know," Dumbledore said gently.

"I know. He was just being stupid. He didn't know what he was doing." I finally raised my head to meet the eyes of the headmaster. Why was he gazing at me so kindly? He knew what was going to happen. He knew _I _knew. He had to.

"Yes, that is what I thought," Dumbledore said. "How are _you_ doing, Miss Hansen?"

I shrugged. "I've been worse. I'm just... worried and fearful of the events that are going to be happening soon."

"As are we all."

"But everyone else doesn't-"I swallowed a lump in my throat. They all have each other, sir. They're all in the same boat. But me... the people I fear for..." I shook my head. "They just don't understand."

"Ah, it can be hard to stand alone," Dumbledore said, smiling at me sympathetically. "You have been surviving up to this point, have you not?"

"Yes, but now-" I swallowed again. "Now it's going to get a lot worse." I forced myself to look into his eyes to see if I could tell if he knew what I was referring to. "It's driving insane to know that something is going to happen soon but to be able to do nothing about it." Something flickered in his eyes, and I thought he understood. "And Professor Snape-" I cut myself off, closing my mouth.

"Yes, what about him? Hasn't he been a help to you?"

A frustrated groan escaped my lips. "Yes, but that's going to make it worse." A rush of anger suddenly hit me. "Why did you tell me to go to him? Why did you _let_ this happen?"

"I thought you two would be able to find some common ground," Dumbledore said innocently. "It appears I was right."

My hands gripped the edges of my chair while I clenched my teeth. "Do you know what it's going to be like when it happens? It's hard enough defending him right now. Everyone is just looking for an excuse to turn on him. What if they turn on _me_ when this is over? At the very least, they'll think I'm crazy. And then there's the thing itself... And what if Draco-" The anger had been replaced by fear, which caused my eyes to widen in terror. "How am I supposed to deal with all this pain? Why did you do this to me?"

"Miss Hansen," Dumbledore said, gently but firmly, "I did not force anything on you. You made your own choices."

I crossed my arms. "But you knew," I grumbled.

"And you were the one who sought the truth," Dumbledore countered. "You know far more than you should."

I kept silent. He was right.

"Now, I sent you to Professor Snape knowing what I did because I thought you could handle it. I see great courage in you."

I looked away. "Right." I had heard too often I wasn't a real Gryffindor that I was starting to believe it myself.

"You will need it to face what will come," Dumbledore continued.

I took a deep breath before asking the question that had come to my mind. "Courage to do what?" I looked him straight in the eye; I needed a direct answer. "To fight with the majority... or to stand with those everyone will reject?"

Dumbledore smiled almost knowingly. "I'm afraid that's your decision. You must listen to your heart. It will guide you down the right path."

"Really?" I was still leery about taking that advice. "Is that what it's done? My family doesn't think so. They believe I've just been following my emotions."

"Ah, that would be a problem," Dumbledore said, "but I'm not talking about emotions, I'm talking about love. Follow love wherever it leads and you may still make mistakes, but will end up doing what's right."

"Even if it means going against my friends and family?" I asked anxiously. "Even if they end up distrusting me?"

"If that is where you feel led," Dumbledore said. "A consensus does no guarantee truth. Courage means following love even when no one else will understand. It is their problem if they do not trust you. Your job is to follow your own heart. You must trust yourself to know what is right, even if that means you must stand alone."

"But if they don't trust me, they won't let me fight with them," I said. "I'll only be able to affect the few that will be forgotten. That's not making a real difference in the war, is it?" While I was now dreading the thought of fighting, I still wanted to be able to help out. I could not stand sitting around and doing nothing.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows while smiling. "Will it not? Sometimes, the smallest comfort and the knowledge that one is not alone can make a big difference in the lives of others, even if it is only a few. If you don't stand by them, who will?"

I glanced down at my lap, suddenly feeling ashamed.

"Will it make a difference in the long run? Perhaps, but I do not think it matters. It will make a difference to _them_, and they matter. Do you know the value of one life?"

I looked up at him, letting the realization seep into me. He was right, of course. I knew what I would have to do; I just hoped I would have the courage to follow through with it. "It's worth a lot," I said softly. Then I nodded. "Ok. I understand. Thank you, professor."

Dumbledore offered me a wide smile. "No problem, my dear. If that is all, I will let you run off now."

I smiled weakly as I stood up to head out. The headmaster's words had been somehow comforting to me. At least I knew I was not alone. 


	56. New Discovery

I was the last one to arrive to Potions class Monday afternoon. I happened to glance down at Harry's book when I paused and noticed that it looked like I knew one. I stopped in my tracks between him and Hermione. "You got rid of the Half-Blood Prince's book?" I said, leaning my left palm against the table.

"I left it in the Room of Requirement," Harry said without looking at me.

"He tried to go back for it!" Hermione said in an indignant tone. "Luckily, he couldn't find it."

My eyes narrowed at Harry. "Why would you want to go back for it? To learn new curses? To help you cheat?"

"I gained useful information!" Harry said defensively.

I could not believe he was actually sticking up for that book. Did he really believe it was harmless or did he just not want to admit he had been wrong? "You have no idea the mental state of the person who owned that book."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "And you do?"

I started to say something but shut my mouth tightly. Telling him the truth could cause him to back down, but I did not want to risk this being knowledge Snape did not want me to share. I could not betray his trust like that. "No – I'm just assuming from what I know."

"I agree," Hermione said. "You should be glad to be rid of it."

"I don't see what the big deal is," Ron said. "So, he gained an advantage at Potions. I got over it. And I say Malfoy got what he deserved."

I spun to face Ron and turned my glare onto him. Even if I did think it was true, vigilante justice was never acceptable. What separated us from them if we used the same tactics?

Ron simply shrugged, ignoring my glare. "Ginny agrees with me."

My expression softened, and anger was replaced by sadness. "Thank you, Ronald," I said between my teeth. I walked past Hermione and sat down at the end of the table; Ernie sat to my left.

"Hello," the Hufflepuff said.

I managed to give him a nod. "Hi."

"Good morning, class," Slughorn boomed from the center of the room. "Let's get started."

I turned my full attention onto the professor and attentively listened for his instructions. Once they were given, I got to work. I was eager to impress Slughorn now that Harry was no longer going to be the best in the class. Slughorn had made excuses for Harry's potions the last couple of classes, but I knew he would have to eventually catch onto the pattern.

A little bit into class, I casually glanced over at Ernie to see how he was doing. He was not terrible at potions, but I could tell he could use some assistance. "Want some help?" I asked in a low voice. Now that I was no longer trying to compete with Harry, I did not see the harm in lending a hand to someone.

Ernie seemed surprised as he looked at me. "Sure."

"You need to be gentler." I nodded the roots he was trying to crush.

"Oh. Thanks."

I gave him a slight smile before returning to my own potion. Throughout the rest of the class, I offered him helpful hints and suggestions. I was not about to do any work for him, but I figured talking about it was acceptable. His potion looked much better as it neared the end of the class. Both of us had even finished early.

"Thanks for the help," Ernie said, turning to me with a smile. "You're really good at this."

"Thanks," I said. I was pleased to be recognized for my talents.

"Hey, Emily is your sister, right?" Ernie said. "She's in her third year?"

I nodded. "That's right."

"I've talked to her a few times. She's pretty cool." A grin spread across his face. "Cute too."

I immediately frowned. "Don't even think about it. Emily is too young to be dating."

"Don't be like Ron," said Hermione, who has obviously been listening to the conversation.

"Hey!" Ron exclaimed. "We're just trying to look out for them!"

I almost laughed at the prospect of actually being in agreement about something with him. "Right."

Hermione let out an exasperated sigh.

"It must be an older sibling thing we don't understand," Harry said, a small smirk plastered on his face.

"I suppose," Hermione mumbled.

Ernie chuckled lightly. "Don't worry, Crystal. I was not going to ask her out. I just thought she might make a good friend."

"Oh, that is a good idea," I said, nodding. "She needs to know what it's like to have guy friends. Maybe _then_ she'll be ready to date."

"Alright, class," Slughorn said, clasping his hands together, "let's review your work."

I watched him examine the Slytherins first. My eyes fell on Draco's empty seat, and I felt a pang on my chest. When I turned my attention to my own table, I noticed Harry looking at me, but he quickly glanced down. I did the same as I waited for Slughorn.

"Impressive work, Miss Hansen," the professor said.

I looked up and noticed him smiling down at me. I gave a small nod of my head. "Thank you, sir."

Slughorn turned slightly to face Ernie. "My, you've been improving, Mister Macmillan."

Ernie smiled up at him. "Thank you, sir. I have to give some credit to Crystal. She helped me figured it out."

Slughorn looked surprised at the confession. "Oh, well, I suppose you can learn as much from each other as you can from me." He nodded and smiled. "Very good."

I smiled at Ernie, feeling pleased at his words. Maybe I should start hanging around more Hufflepuffs.

Slughorn paused behind Ron. "Keep trying, Weasley." Ron frowned as he glanced over at Hermione's potion. "Good work, Miss Granger." I watched attentively as he finally got to Harry. He stared down at the potion, a small frown apparent on his face. "Harry, you've been slipping in your work. Is something going on?"

Harry shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "No, sir. The work has just gotten harder, that's all."

It was hard to miss the look of disappointment on Slughorn's face. After a minute, he straightened up and said, "Ah, well, it's alright, Harry. Lily struggled sometimes as well."

The name immediately struck me, and I looked up at the professor in shock. "Who?"

Slughorn blinked at me in surprise. "Lily Evans. Harry's mother of course." He turned to glance at the other table. "You best be off now. Dinner will be starting soon."

I realized my mouth was still hanging open, so I closed it and swallowed. Harry was giving me an odd look. I ignored it and said, "What was your father's name?"

"James," Harry replied.

"And he was friends with Remus Lupin and Sirius Black?"

"Yes," Harry said slowly. "They were best mates." He stared at me quizzically. "Why?"

"Just wanted to know," I said with a nervous smile.

"You didn't already?" Ron asked.

"I'm not from here," I said. "But now I'm all caught up. Thank you, Harry." I quickly gathered up my things and dashed out of the room, surely leaving my friends in a confused state.

My heart was pounding as I slowly walked down the hall. It couldn't be... could it? It had to be just a coincidence. I was sure many Lily's had attended Hogwarts. Then again.... I remembered Harry telling me that his father had bullied Snape in school. That meant they had to be the same age or close to it. The bullying had always explained somewhat they Snape did not like Harry very much, but _this_ I had never seen coming. Was it really true? There was only one way to find out, and I was not sure how to go about it.

***

I decided the best course of action would be to confront Snape during our next lesson on Thursday. Hopefully, I would have figures out how to do it by then. Tuesday afternoon, I found myself roaming outside Hogwarts during my free period before dinner. The fresh air and warm sun were much better than the hallways I usually walked.

I stopped at the Black Lake and stared into its depths. I remembered the times I had met Draco there. Then I thought of home. Those days seemed very far away from me now. Would I have days like that again? I could always run off to America. I was sure my family would willingly join me to escape the coming danger. I could never leave Draco behind, though. Would a time ever come when we would be able to depart together?

"Crystal."

I jumped at the sound of my sister's voice. I turned to see both of them standing there. Emily was smirking; she was the one who had spoken. I smiled sheepishly. "Hey, guys. What's going on?"

"Are you ok?" Lizzie asked. "We heard about Draco."

I frowned. "Does the whole school know about that?"

"Yes, after the first few hours," Emily replied. "Moaning Myrtle flew around telling everyone she could find." She shrugged. "And the Slytherins have been very open about it. Many of them can't stop attacking Harry."

"I'm sure he feels great about that," I mumbled. I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. He should have had more sense, but it was still an accident. He did seem to be paying for it now.

"Have you seen him?" Lizzie asked. "Draco?"

I nodded. "I saw him right away. I can't talk about it, though, so don't even bother asking."

Emily raised her eyebrows. "What's with the secrets?"

I hesitated. How much could I tell her that would not give everything away? She had to be coming up with her own theories. "It's complicated. Let's just say he's too close to Voldemort and the Death Eaters because of his father. It's too risky to be around each other right now."

From the look Emily was giving me, I could tell she was not convinced. "Uh huh... Do he still does like you?"

I just shrugged.

"And you can't work anything out?" Lizzie asked.

I shook my head. "There's nothing to work out."

"But if you _really_ loved each other-" Emily began.

"You _don't _know what you're talking about!" I said forcefully, feeling mild anger stir within me. "This is not as easy as you think. You don't know what I'm up against." My sisters both stared at me with wide eyes. I realized I was probably being too hard, and my expression softened. "I'm sorry. It's just..." I sighed. "I used to love the notion of forbidden love. I thought it was romantic too. But now..." I shook my head. "It's not all it's cracked up to be. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to go through."

Emily bit her lip. She exchanged a glance with Lizzie. "I see."

"Good luck," Lizzie said.

"Thanks," I murmured. I sucked in a deep breath. "Well, how are you two doing?"

"Good," Lizzie said.

"Fine," Emily replied.

"Have you talked to the guy you like?" I asked.

Emily frowned. "No. But a boy in your year... Ernie, I think his name is... talked to me."

I smiled slightly. "He's a good guy. You should hang out with him. It might do you some good."

Emily shrugged. "I guess. He is kind of cute, though."

I smirked. "You'll be fine."

***

I stood outside Snape's office for a full minute before I had the courage to enter. I did not know what I was so nervous about. I had made worse discoveries than this, right? Yet, those had not been as personal as this. I was unsure as to what his reaction would be, if I had even gotten it right.

I walked slowly into the room, this time caring nothing.

"Good evening, Crystal," Snape said, looking up from his desk. He stood and walked to meet me in the room. "Shall we begin?"

"I-" I swallowed. "I wanted to ask you something first."

Snape quirked an eyebrow. "What is it?"

I took a deep breath before going on. "The Lily you loved... Was her name Lily Evans?"

"Yes," Snape said slowly. There was something in his expression I could not understand. I thought maybe he knew where I was going with this. "It was at one point."

"And she-" I paused again. It was true. It was all true. Why was my heart beating like that? "She married James Potter. She was Harry's mother."

Snape stared at me with his usual expression for a long time. I wished I knew what he was thinking. Would he be mad I found out? Surely he did not want anyone to know. "How did you find out?" he asked almost icily.

"Professor Slughorn," I said. "He loves comparing Harry's 'abilities' to Lily's."

"I see," Snape said, his lips tight. He turned and strode back in the direction of his desk.

"That's why you changed sides, isn't it?" I said. "Voldemort killed her."

It took Snape a while to respond. When he did speak, I could hear the emotion thick in his voice. "Yes. I asked Dumbledore to protect her and her family when I found out the Dark Lord was after the boy, but it happened anyone." He slowly turned around to face me. I felt compassion toward him at the sorrow and anguish on his face. "The news was... unbearable."

"I can imagine," I said softly. Now I understood why he had taken Draco's side; why he had so readily agreed with him.

"I returned to Dumbledore, who assured me the Dark Lord would be back and would be after the boy. I joined him so that I could protect Harry Potter... for her. It was the least I could do after I had been such a terrible friend. She had a right to ditch me when she did..." He looked away and closed his eyes.

I stood there silently, thinking about this new knowledge. Why did he not want anyone else to know? Was he ashamed? It would help everyone trust him, and Voldemort would not suspect much because he did not understand love. My gaze fell onto Snape. He seemed so beaten and downtrodden; I wanted to be able to do something for him. He had been there for me, after all. I took a step closer. "You need to give yourself more credit," I began tentatively.

Snape lifted his head to meet my eyes. His eyes still held sadness, but now there was confusion mixed in. "What?"

"You did not have to react the way you did," I said, my voice gaining strength with every word I spoke. "A lot of people in your position would not have. Most, maybe even. You could have reacted with anger and hatred, and you could have taken that out of the world. You could have hardened your heart to everything good. You could have become an even fiercer Death Eater or branched off on your own and caused your own destruction, if only to those who cross your path. This is how many people react when they lose the one person they love. They give up on life and latch onto hatred."

I took a deep breath to give myself time to pause. "You did something very different. You chose _love_. You chose love even when it was the most difficult. You took the experience and your past bad decisions, and you made something good out of them. You used them as a lesson for the future. It would have been easy to give up on love in your situation, but you didn't. If you think you did not have any other choice, then that just shows the strength of your character." Snape was staring at me in shock; I felt like I was blazing fierce and bright. "You have shown tremendous courage, and you deserve credit for it." I knew no one else but Dumbledore was going to give it to him.

Snape just stared at me for a long time. Finally, he dipped his head. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I needed to hear that."

My mouth turned up into a slight smile. "You're welcome."

Snape looked at me with now-calm eyes. "You have shown great courage as well. I know many who would crumble in your position. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you are not a true Gryffindor. You are one of the best I've known... like Lily. You two would have gotten along well."

I was surprised and touch by the comparison. Without my consent, a smile spread across my face. "Thanks," I said, touching his arm. We stared at each other for another long moment; a moment where there was finally some sense of peace. 


	57. The Beginning of the End

The next couple of weeks passed by much better than I ever expected. Draco returned to school, but the tension that had previously developed between us was now gone. Instead, we acted like acquaintances, which was better for my sanity. I did not see Ginny much because she was always around Harry, but I spent more time with Ernie, who turned out to be a pretty cool kid. Perhaps the best part was the new openness between Snape and me. I was not the only one initiating conversations anymore; he would openly ask me questions or volunteer something about himself. It made me feel good to know I had gotten through to him when few others had succeeded.

Occlumency proved to be a difficult skill to matter. Snape assured me I was making progress, though. "You're much better than Potter when I attempted to teach him," he said almost scathingly the last Friday of May.

"Thanks," I said, though I felt a little uneasy at the mention of Harry. Another question came to my mind, and this time I did not hesitate to ask it. "Professor, why do you hate Harry so much?"

Snape paused before answering; the look on his face suggested he had not been excepting me to ask. "He's just like his father," he said in a gruff voice. "He's stubborn, arrogant, self-righteous, attention-seeking, a rule breaker, and he thinks he knows everything about that which he knows little."

I thought about this description. I could definitely see where it came from; I had been unfortunate enough to see this side of Harry. It would have been easy to agree, thereby confirming both of our biases. However, I knew this would hardly be fair; I had to do the right thing. "I've seen that as well," I began slowly. "He does sometimes come off that way. He hasn't been treating me very well recently. But-"

I paused and noticed that Snape was looking at me with interest. "I know that's not the whole story. Everyone has two sides to them – good and bad. Harry can always be loyal, kind, brave, and he cares deeply about those close to him." I shrugged. "Maybe I shouldn't be talking because I'm guilty of trying to only see the bad when it comes to him. It's not easy to focus on the good when the bad is so apparent. I like to think I do a better job than others. Perhaps it's just different kinds of people I'm guilty of judging."

I paused again. Snape was still watching me intently, though I could detect no other emotion. "What I'm trying to say is, it's wonderful that you're trying to protect Harry for Lily – and I'm sure she's grateful for it – but do you think she would have wanted you to try to see her in him?"

Snape looked away so I could not see his expression. "You sound like Dumbledore," he said in a low voice.

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked. When there was no response, I continued with another question, "Lily's Patronus, was it a doe?"

There was a pause. Then, "Yes."

A small smile flickered on my face. "I thought so."

***

The first Monday of June started off as a normal day. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I kept mostly to myself, only talking when necessary. I sat at the end of the Gryffindor table by myself at dinner. Throughout the meal, I thought I could feel someone's eyes on me, but whenever I looked, I could see nothing.

I left the Great Hall earlier than most of the others. I had just reached the Entrance Hall when I felt a hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump in surprise. I turned around and saw Snape standing there. I took deep breaths to calm myself from the scare.

"I need you to do something," he said curtly. "I don't have much time to explain. Wait until everyone in your house has gone to bed, and then come find me in my office. Got it?"

I blinked, confused. "What-"

"Just _trust_ me."

"Ok," I said with more than a hint of uncertainty. "I'll be there."

Snape nodded. "Good." Then he turned and swept down the hall.

I stared after him for a few seconds before shaking my head and going my own way. I would do as he said; it had to be something important, and he probably could not explain because he did not want to risk being overheard. Still, I knew the curiosity would be killing me for the rest of the evening.

I spent time in my room studying. I figured that as soon as all my roommates arrived, it would be safe to go down to the common room and see if there was anyone left. Time passed, and eventually only Hermione was absent, while the others were in bed. I was beginning to wonder what she was up to when she suddenly burst into the room.

"Crystal!" she said, seeming surprised that I was up.

"Where have you been?" I asked casually.

"Harry's off of school grounds on a mission with Dumbledore," Hermione explained. "He thinks the school will be in danger, so he asked Ron and me to gather others to patrol the halls. We could use your help."

A cold feeling developed in my chest and spread throughout the rest of my body. I knew exactly what Harry was afraid of, and I feared he was right. "He's worried about Draco."

"And Snape." Hermione seemed awkward and almost hesitant to continue. "We're going to patrol his office."

"Let me talk to him," I said quickly. At her look of surprise, I added, "I know him. Maybe I can convince him to stay in."

Hermione bit her lip; she seemed uncertain. "I don't know, Crystal..."

"Just give me some time before you do anything. Trust me." I ignored the guilt I felt at my own words. It was for the greater good, wasn't it? I had to trust Snape.

"Alright," Hermione said at last. "I'll round up the others while you're gone."

I nodded. "Thanks." Then I dashed out of there as quickly as I could. My heart was hammering in my chest as I headed for the dungeons. It was happening tonight. It _had_ to be happening. There was nowhere I could run any longer.

I was out of breath by the time I flung Snape's door open. It looked like he had been pacing the room; for he stopped and stared at me, his expression solemn. But my eyes were not on him for long, for several feet to the right stood Draco, looking very pensive.

"What's going on?" I asked, although I knew perfectly well what was going on.

"You need to stay here," Draco said as he strode toward me with a determined look in his eyes.

I opened my mouth to protest, but he spoke again.

"Just _listen_ to me. I _need_ you to stay here no matter what happens." He was only inches away from me now. His eyes were blazing fiercely, but here was something else hidden in hem. Was it fear? He turned on his heels to face Snape. "Promise me you'll protect her."

"Of course," Snape said.

"They'll be here within minutes."

"There'll be a fight. The Order is here protecting the castle."

"Let there be a fight. I don't care." He turned so that he was facing the door.

"What's going on?" I said again, my eyes now wide. "My parents are in the Order!" Was Draco actually going to let _Death Eaters_ into the castle? How was that _possible_? And if there was a fight, would my parents become hurt?

Draco stopped and looked back at me. He seemed almost regretful as he said, "I'm sorry." Then he was gone.

I spun around and glared at Snape. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"I'm afraid not, Miss Hansen," Snape said. He pushed past me to get to the door, but he did not exit. He was probably preventing me from escaping.

"Do you take orders from Draco now?" I said, my arms crossed. "I know I don't." I started forward.

Snape pushed me back with his arm. "_No_, Crystal. You must stay here."

I gritted my teeth and turned around. I began my own pacing back and forth. Something terrible was about to happen and I could do nothing about it! I stopped pacing and focused on my breathing even though I knew there would be no stopping my racing heart this time. How had everything gone so wrong?

My eyes darted back and forth frantically. My breathing came in rapid gasps. Every instinct in my body was protesting. A million thoughts were running through my mind. This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. I could have stopped this if I had worked harder. What was I doing?

My eyes finally rested on Snape, who was still standing in front of the door. He appeared unfazed by my apparent panic. I hated him for that. I knew he was not my enemy, but I could not help feeling resentment against him at the moment. Why wasn't he on _my_ side? I shot him a deadly glare.

"What's going on?!" I cried. "If there's a battle I want to be a part of it!" I instinctively pulled out my wand. My hand shook as I pointed it at him. I needed to feel like I was doing _something_, even if I knew the effort was futile.

"Put that away," Snape said coldly, yet a bit nonchalantly. He was not taking my threat seriously. I was in no fit state to be using magic, and he knew it. "I promised to protect you, Miss Hansen."

I could feel my resistance hopelessly weakening. I slowly put my wand back. "I'm not the one who needs protecting," I mumbled just loud enough for him to hear. I knew he would know what I meant. There was only one person I was thinking about at the moment.

Snape seemed to almost hesitate. "Stay here," he warned me. With that, he turned and marched out of the office.

I sighed as I watched him leave. Once he was gone, I started pacing back and forth again. I was slowly losing my nerve. I was driving myself crazy with "what ifs." I should have talked to him. I should have stopped him. I should have done _something_.

I felt helpless. Why was I even in this situation? Maybe it would have been better if I had just stayed in Minnesota. But I couldn't regret the last three years of my life. They made me who I am. _He_ had made me who I am.

My thoughts were interrupted as the door opened again. I was surprised to see Snape reenter with Professor Flitwick. "You have to help us," the Charms professor was saying. "They're too strong." He paused and looked upon me in surprise. "Miss Hansen, what are you doing in here?"

Before I could respond, Snape took out his wand and pointed it at Flitwick. From the way Flitwick suddenly fell to the floor, I assumed Snape had used a nonverbal stunning spell. "Watch him," he said before exiting once again.

I let out another frustrated going. Why was this happening to me? What had I done to deserve this?

Several moments later, the door was opened yet again. This time, it was Hermione and Luna who entered. "What are you doing here, Crystal?" Luna said, sweeping her eyes from Flitwick to me.

"Well?" Hermione said, staring at me expectantly.

"I – I tried. But then he fainted," I looked at Flitwick, "and – I – need to go." I knew a chance to escape when I saw it. I pushed passed the two girls to reach the door.

"Crystal!" Hermione called after me, but I ignored her.

I could just see the end of Snape's robes disappearing up the stairs. _Think like a Slytherin_, I told myself, though I knew I was acting more like a reckless Gryffindor. Mustering up as much stealth as I could gather, I stepped nimbly after Snape. If he saw me, he would surely send me back. Luckily, he seemed too intent on his destination to be very observant of his surroundings.

I could soon see that the fighting was taking place in the corridor near the stairs that led to the astronomy tower. Snape stepped off to the side to examine something, and I gritted my teeth when I realized I had lost them. I shook off the loss and charged forward. The Order and some of my friends were fighting off Death Eaters. I was about to join them when I noticed four Death Eaters slip off to ascend the stairs. My intuition told me to follow them.

I ducked down low so that I would not be spotted. One of the Death Eaters turned and pointed his wand at the stairs below us; it sounded like he was issuing some kind of spell. I slunk close behind the other three and burst through the door with them.

"Hey!" one of the Death Eaters bellowed, rounding on me. "What are you doing here?"

"I believe she wishes to join you," said a voice that sounded like Dumbledore's.

Forgetting my sudden fear for a moment, I turned to examine the situation. Dumbledore was slumped against the back wall, appearing hurt and with no wand in sight. Draco was facing him. He was pointing his wand at him, but his hand was shaking terribly and it looked like he was in the process of lowering it. He snapped his head around to view the newcomers. His eyes landed on me, and I suddenly felt cold. There was fear and terror in his eyes that I had never seen there before.

A lumpy-looking man with an odd lopsided leer gave a wheezy giggle. "Dumbledore cornered!" he said, and he turned to a stocky little woman who was grinning eagerly. "Dumbledore wandless, Dumbledore alone! Well done, Draco, well done!"

I let out a breath of relief when I realized they were ignoring me now. They should have realized I didn't stand a chance against all of them.

"Good evening, Amycus," Dumbledore said calmly. And you've brought Alecto too ... charming ..."

The woman gave an angry little titter. "Think your little jokes'll help you on your death bed, then?" she jeered.   
  
"Jokes? No, no, these are manners," Dumbledore replied.   
  
"Do it," said a big, rangy man with matted grey hair and whiskers, whose black Death Eater's robes looked uncomfortably tight. His voice was a rasping bark of a voice. His filthy hands had long yellowish nails.   
  
"Is that you, Fenrir?" Dumbledore asked.   
  
"That's right," rasped the other. "Pleased to see me, Dumbledore?"

"No, I cannot say that I am ..."  
  
Fenrir Greyback grinned, showing pointed teeth. Blood trickled down his chin and he licked his lips slowly, obscenely. Fear shot through to my heart. A _werewolf_. "But you know how much I like kids, Dumbledore."  
  
"Am I to take it that you are attacking even without the full moon now? This is most unusual ... you have developed a taste for human flesh that cannot be satisfied once a month?"  
  
"That's right," said Greyback. "Shocks you, that, does it, Dumbledore? Frightens you?"  
  
"Well, I cannot pretend it does not disgust me a little," Dumbledore said. "And, yes, I am a little shocked that Draco here invited you, of all people, into the school where his friends live..."  
  
"I didn't," Draco breathed. He was not looking at Greyback; he did not seem to want to even glance at him. I knew it must have taken the remainder of his strength not to look at me again, which would have given away too much. I suddenly knew I was in real danger if the attention were ever back on me. Where was Snape? "I didn't know he was going to come-"  
  
"I wouldn't want to miss a trip to Hogwarts, Dumbledore," Greyback rasped. "Not when there are throats to be ripped out ... delicious, delicious ..." I held in a shudder. He raised a yellow fingernail and picked at his front teeth, leering at Dumbledore. "I could do you for afters, Dumbledore ..."  
  
"No," said the fourth Death Eater sharply. He had a heavy, brutal-looking face. "We've got orders. Draco's got to do it. Now, Draco, and quickly."  
  
Draco looked terrified as he stared into Dumbledore's face, which was even paler, and rather lower than usual, as he had slid so far down the rampart wall. I could have told them all that what they were proposing just wasn't going to happen. I bet Dumbledore knew it as well. Did Draco?  
  
"He's not long for this world anyway, if you ask me!" said the lopsided man. "Look at him - what's happened to you, then, Dumby?"  
  
"Oh, weaker resistance, slower reflexes, Amycus," Dumbledore said. "Old age, in short ... one day, perhaps, it will happen to you ... if you are lucky ..."  
  
"What's that mean, then, what's that mean?" the Death Eater yelled, appearing suddenly violent. "Always the same, weren't yeh, Dumby, talking and doing nothing, nothing, I don't even know why the Dark Lord's bothering to kill yeh! Come on, Draco, do it!"  
  
I was amazed at how calm and merciful Dumbledore seemed. He was not condemning his attackers. He wished them no ill will. Perhaps I should have taken more time to get to know him; I was sure I could have learned a lot.  
  
Just then, there were sounds of scuffling from below, and a voice shouted, "They've blocked the stairs - Reducto! REDUCTO!"  
  
"Now, Draco, quickly!" the brutal-faced man said angrily.  
  
But Draco's hand was shaking so badly that he could barely aim. Hadn't they gitten the picture yet? Draco was no killer.  
  
"I'll do it," Greyback snarled, moving towards Dumbledore with his hands outstretched, his teeth bared.   
  
"I said no!" the brutal-faced man shouted; there was a flash of light and the werewolf was blasted out of the way; he hit the ramparts and staggered, looking furious. I flinched, but no one seemed to notice.  
  
"Draco, do it, or stand aside so one of us-" the woman screeched, but at that precise moment, the door to the ramparts burst open and there stood Snape, his wand clutched in his hand as his black eyes swept the scene, from Dumbledore slumped against the wall, to the four Death Eaters, including the enraged werewolf, and Draco. His eyes fell on my last, but he looked away just as quickly, appearing expressionless. I felt a sense of relief. Snape was here. He would fix everything.  
  
"We've got a problem, Snape," said Amycus, whose eyes and wand were fixed alike upon Dumbledore, "the boy doesn't seem able-"  
  
But somebody else had spoken Snape's name, quite softly. "Severus ..."  
  
It was Dumbledore. My heart leapt in my throat when I realized he was pleading. I understood the meaning, but I knew everyone else would misinterpret. I knew the truth, and yet the knowledge felt like a curse.  
  
Snape said nothing, but he walked forwards and pushed Draco roughly out of the way. The three Death Eaters fell back without a word. Even the werewolf seemed cowed. Snape gazed for a moment at Dumbledore, but I could not see his expression from my position.  
  
"Severus ... please ..."   
  
I was no longer breathing. Seconds seemed to take minutes as I waited.  
  
Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore. "Avada Kedavra!" A jet of green light shot from the end of his wand and hit Dumbledore squarely in the chest. Dumbledore was blasted into the air; for a split second he seemed to hang suspended beneath the shining skull, and then he fell slowly backwards, like a great rag doll, over the battlements and out of sight.  
  
Now time seemed to stand still completely. I felt numb.  
  
"Ignore the girl," I heard Snape say, snapping me back to reality. I noticed, with discomfort, that two of the Death Eaters were eying me with suspicion. "Out of here, quickly." He seized Draco by the scruff of the neck and forced him through the door ahead of the rest. Greyback and the squat male and female followed, the latter both panting excitedly.  
  
The brutal-faced Death Eater was the last to leave, but before he could, someone shouted: "Petrificus Totalus!" The Death Eater buckled as though hit in the back with something solid and fell to the ground, rigid as a waxwork.

I spun around and was shocked to see Harry standing there, his expression wild. "Harry!" I exclaimed. "Where did you come from?"

"Get out of the way," Harry retorted. "I need to get to Snape." He roughly pushed past me and bounded down the stairs.

It only took me a second to think. He was after Snape; I had to stop him! It was then that I noticed a cloak on the ground where Harry had previously been standing. It was his invisibility cloak, no doubt. Getting a sudden idea, I grabbed the cloak, pulled it over my body, and slipped down the stairs after Harry.

It was difficult following him through the mess in the corridor. Luckily, I was hidden, so no one attacked me. Though, Harry did have to shout out a few spells.

Finally, after a long journey, I merged after Harry onto Hogwarts' grounds. I could see three figures running across the lawn, heading towards the gate, likely so they would be able to Apparate. Not seeing much need for the cloak any longer, I threw it to the ground and pursued Harry visibly, not that he took much notice of me.

There was a flash of light in the distance. After another flash, shouts, retaliatory jets of light, I understood: Hagrid had emerged from his cabin and was trying to stop the Death Eaters escaping. Harry sped up, and my lungs screamed in pain. "Harry!" I called. "Stop!"

Harry glanced back long enough to send me a glare. "Stay back, Crystal!"

"No!" I moaned. "You don't understand." But he would not listen. I was forced to use all my strength to keep up with him.

Suddenly, something hit Harry and he fell forward on his face. I glanced behind me to see the male and female Death Eaters from earlier were gaining on us. They were leaving me alone, though. Was it because I had unconsciously taken out my wand and had it pointed at Harry?

"Impedimenta!" Harry yelled as he rolled over again, crouching close to the ground; one of his jinx hit one of them, who stumbled and fell, tripping up the other; Harry leapt to his feet and sprinted on after Snape. This time, I was right by his side. I saw no need to attack unless he actually zoned in on his target.

Now I saw the outline of Hagrid. The blond Death Eater was aiming curse after curse at the gamekeeper, but Hagrid's immense strength toughened seemed to be protecting him. Snape and Draco, however, were still running; they would soon be beyond the gates. My eyes widened in horror when Harry ran past Hagrid, aimed his wand at Snape's back, and cried, "Stupefy!"

He missed; the jet of red light soared past Snape's head. Snape shouted, "Run, Draco!"and turned. Twenty yards apart, he and Harry looked at each other before raising their wands simultaneously.

I was grateful the running was over; my legs felt like they were on fire. I leaned my hands against them as I breathed heavily. "No," I said weakly. "Stop. Please."

"Cruc - " Harry began to say.

Snape parried the curse, knocking Harry backward off his feet before he could complete it. Harry rolled over and scrambled back up again as the huge Death Eater behind him yelled, "Incendio!" I heard an explosive bang and a dancing orange light spilled over all of them; Hagrid's house was on fire.  
  
"Fang's in there, yer evil - !" Hagrid bellowed.  
  
"Cruc -" yelled Harry for the second time, aiming for the figure ahead illuminated in the dancing firelight, but Snape blocked the spell again. I could see him sneering.  
  
"No unforgivable curses from you, Potter!" he shouted over the rushing of the flames, Hagrid's yells, and the wild yelping of the trapped Fang. "You haven't got the nerve or the ability -"  
  
I was finally strong enough to stand up straight and point my wand at Harry, though my arm was shaking with the effort. "Harry, _stop_." My mind could not work quickly enough to give me a spell to use; I felt helpless.  
  
"Get out of here, Crystal," Harry said without looking at me. "This has nothing to do with you. Incarc-"

Snape deflected the spell with an almost lazy flick of his arm.

"Fight back!" Harry screamed at him. "Fight back, you cowardly-----"   
  
"No!" I cried in objection. He had no idea what he was talking about.  
  
"Coward, did you call me, Potter?" Snape shouted. "Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?"  
  
"Stupe-"  
  
"Blocked again and again and again until you learn to keep your mouth shut and your mind closed, Potter!" Snape sneered, deflecting the curse once more. "Now come!" he shouted at the huge Death Eater behind us. It is time to be gone, before the Ministry turns up -"  
  
"Impedi -"  
  
But before he could finish the jinx, something hit Harry, and he keeled over in the grass.  
  
"No!" Snape roared. Harry still lay curled on the dark grass, clutching his wand and panting. I did not feel sorry for him. "Have you forgotten our orders? Potter belongs to the Dark Lord - we are to leave him! Go! Go!"  
  
I watched as the other three Death Eaters obeyed, running toward the gates. Harry uttered an inarticulate yell of rage. Pushing himself to his feet again, he staggered blindly toward Snape.  
  
Did he not know how to give up? I had to stop him. I managed to hold my hand still enough to shout, "Expelliarmus!"  
  
At the last second, Harry deflected my spell, but now he was glaring at me angrily. He pointed his wand at me. "Impedimenta!"  
  
I ducked; the spell just missed me.  
  
"Leave her alone," Snape snarled. He was only a few feet away now, and I could see rage in his face.  
  
"Stay out of the way," Harry shouted at me before turning back to Snape.  
  
I scrambled forward so that I was standing between the two of them. I stood directly in front of Snape, facing Harry with a glare. "_Stop_. This is not going to solve anything. Put your wand away." My own was still pointed at him.  
  
"Traitor!" Harry yelled. "Have you two been conspiring together?"  
  
"You don't understand!" I exclaimed.  
  
"Stay out of this," Snape said as he lightly pushed me out of the way. "You need to return to the castle."  
  
"Expelliarmus!"  
  
My wand flew out of my hand. I gritted my teeth in frustration for letting myself get distracted. I dropped to the ground to search for my wand.  
  
"Sectum-" Harry began to say.  
  
I looked up in time to see Snape deflect this spell as well. I then returned to my search. I found my wand hidden in the grass, swiped it, and jumped to my feet.  
  
"No, Potter!" Snape screamed.

There was a loud BANG and Harry soared backward, hitting the ground hard again. This time his wand flew out of his hand. I could hear Hagrid yelling and Fang howling as Snape closed in and looked down on Harry where he lay. I looked on with fear. Harry was defenseless now. Snape would not actually hurt him, would he? He said he wanted to protect him...

"You dare use my own spells against me, Potter?" Snape said. "It was I who invented them - I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you'd turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, would you? I don't think so . . . no." Harry had dived for his wand; Snape shot a hex at it and it flew feet away into the darkness and out of sight.  
  
"Kill me then," Harry panted. "Kill me like you killed him, you coward -"  
  
"DON'T -" Snape screamed, and his face was suddenly demented, inhuman, as though he was in as much pain as the yelping, howling dog stuck in the burning house behind them - "CALL ME COWARD!"  
  
I was surprised at his rage. Harry had obviously hit a nerve.  
  
Snape slashed at the air. Something hit Harry in the face, and he was slammed backward into the ground. Then I saw something strange. A hippogriff has emerged and flew at Snape, who staggered backward as the razor-sharp claws slashed at him. I quickly held up my wand, ready to defend.  
  
There turned out to be no need. Snape ran as hard as he could, the enormous beast flapping behind him and screeching. Not even a minute later, Snape managed to Disapparate just beyond the school's boundaries. I let out a breath of relief. He was safe. Both he and Draco were safe... for now. My whole body felt weary; I needed a rest.  
  
Something suddenly slammed into me and I fell to the ground. I wrestled myself onto my back and saw that Harry was trying to pin me. "Hey!" I cried. I tried to push him off of me, but he was too strong.  
  
"You let him go," Harry grunted.  
  
"Yeah, good," I retorted. I gained enough momentum to cause both of us to roll over on our sides. Our arms fought with each other to gain control.  
  
"You're in with him."  
  
"Yes, but you don't understand." We continued to struggle with each other, and we rolled over several times.  
  
"You're a traitor. You betrayed Dumbledore."  
  
"No!" I bellowed as I sank my nails into his arms to get him to leave me alone.  
  
"What's goin' on here?" said Hagrid's voice from above us. A second later, he used his two strong arms to pry us apart and set us on our feet. Harry did not move to attack me again, but he sent me a glare, which I gladly returned. "Why are yew two fightin'?"  
  
"He started it," I said, still glaring at Harry. "I'm not your enemy."  
  
"Then stop siding with my enemies."  
  
I clenched my fists together. My own anger was beginning to rise, and I knew this could cause problems. I needed to get out of there before I let myself get out of control like Harry had. I turned and fled in the direction of the castle.  
  
"Coward!" Harry yelled after me.  
  
I cringed at the accusation. How dare he say that to a Gryffindor? The further I got to the castle, however, the more my situation dawned on me. A whole surge of emotions flooded to the surface. Nothing was going to be the same again. Even if everything did work out in the end, I would always be affected by what I had witness... what I had been through. Where there some scars that could never heal? Were there some wounds that burned too deep?  
  
I was weighed down not by exhaustion but by the heaviness of the burden I carried. They were gone... Draco and Snape were both gone. I suspected they would be back, and I had to stand by them. The cost seemed heavy, but it was nothing that I was not willing to pay. I had made my choice a long time ago. I choked out a sob as I reached a crowd of people near the tower where Dumbledore had fell. Would I ever feel like I belonged?


	58. Alone

Students were beginning to gather around Dumbledore's body. I felt numb as I followed them. Then I could see him. My stomach lurched. He had told me to stay close to Snape. It was what he had wanted...

"Crystal..."

I flinched at the hand on my shoulder. My dad was looking at me solemnly. My mom was right behind him. I was glad to see they were fine.

"Professor McGonagall wants us to gather in the hospital wing," said my dad. "The rest of the Order is already there."

Part of me did not want to obey. I knew what they were going to say. And once Harry arrived.... Yet, if I did not speak up for Snape, who would? "Ok," I said. "Let's go."

My father must have noticed I was disoriented, for he kept his hand on my shoulder and led me into the castle. I wondered if he or my mother noticed that I had been up on the tower or had run after Harry; I really did not feel like answering their interrogating questions.

We entered the hospital wing, and I gazed around to assess the damage. Neville and Professor Flitwick were both asleep on beds, but they appeared to be fine. Ron Hermione, Luna, Tonks, and Lupin were gathered around a bed. My parents and I walked toward them. Lupin was the first to notice us; he gave me a small nod. "Good evening, Crystal."

Now the others turned. "Crystal," Hermione said, running up to meet me. "Where were you?"

"Er, it's a long story," I said lamely.

"Let's wait until we're all here," my dad said.

I looked past Hermione at the figure on the bed. I could not tell who it was, but his face so badly slashed and ripped that he looked grotesque. "Who-"

"Bill," Ron said. "Greyback got to him."

Before I could comment, the doors to the hospital wing were pushed open, and Harry and Ginny entered. I began to take a step toward Ginny, but I faltered when I realized I would have to get close to Harry as well. I hung my head and stepped back. Ginny would probably side with Harry anyway. They all would.

Hermione ran past me and hugged Harry. Lupin moved forward too, looking anxious. "Are you alright, Harry?" Hermione asked after she had let go.

"I'm fine.... How's Bill?"

Nobody answered. Harry looked over Hermione's shoulder, and I knew he was looking at Bill. "Can't you fix them with a charm or something?" he asked the Madame Pomfrey.  
  
"No charm will work on these," the matron said. "I've tried everything I know, but there is no cure for werewolf bites."  
  
"But he wasn't bitten at the full moon," said Ron, who was gazing down into his brother's face as though he could somehow force him to mend just by staring. "Greyback hadn't transformed, so surely Bill won't be a - a real - ?" He looked uncertainly at Lupin.  
  
"No, I don't think that Bill will be a true werewolf," Lupin said, "but that does not mean that there won't be some contamination. Those are cursed wounds. They are unlikely ever to heal fully, and - and Bill might have some wolfish characteristics from now on."  
  
"Dumbledore might know something that'd work, though," Ron said. "Where is he? Bill fought those maniacs on Dumbledore's orders, Dumbledore owes him, he can't leave him in this state -"  
  
"Ron – Dumbledore's dead," Ginny said.  
  
"No!" Lupin looked wildly from Ginny to Harry, as though hoping the latter might contradict her, but when Harry did nor, Lupin collapsed into a chair beside Bill's bed, his hands over his face.  
  
"How did he die?" Tonks whispered. "How did it happen?"  
  
"Snape killed him," Harry said, and I flinched. "I was there, I saw it. We arrived back on the Astronomy Tower because that's where the Mark was. . . . Dumbledore was ill, he was weak, but I think he realized it was a trap when we heard footsteps running up the stairs. He immobilized me, I couldn't do anything, I was under the Invisibility Cloak - and then Malfoy came through the door and disarmed him -"  
  
Hermione clapped her hands to her mouth and Ron groaned. Luna's mouth trembled. I looked away, though I could feel my parents' eyes on me.  
  
"- more Death Eaters arrived - and then Snape - and Snape did it. The Avada Kedavra."  
  
Madam Pomfrey burst into tears. Nobody paid her any attention except Ginny, who whispered, "Shh! Listen!"

Gulping, Madam Pomfrey pressed her fingers to her mouth, her eyes wide. Somewhere out in the darkness, a phoenix was singing in a way I had never heard before: a stricken lament of terrible beauty. And I felt that the music was inside him, not without. It must have been Fawkes. I had read somewhere once that phoenixes song sorrowful songs when someone they had been attached to passed away; and then they left for good.  
  
How long we all stood there, listening, I did not know, nor why it seemed to ease our pain a little to listen to the sound of our mourning, but it felt like a long time later that the hospital door opened again and Professor McGonagall entered the ward. Like all the rest, she bore marks of the recent battle: There were grazes on her face and her robes were ripped.

"Molly and Arthur are on their way," she said, and the spell of the music was broken: We all roused ourselves as though coming out of trances, turning again to look at Bill, or else to rub our own eyes and shake our heads. "Harry, what happened? According to Hagrid, you were with Professor Dumbledore when he - when it happened. He says Professor Snape was involved in some -"  
  
"Snape killed Dumbledore," Harry said.  
  
She stared at him for a moment and then swayed alarmingly; Madam Pomfrey, who seemed to have pulled herself together, ran forward, conjuring a chair from thin air, which she pushed under McGonagall. "Snape," McGonagall repeated faintly, falling into the chair. "We all wondered . . . but he trusted . . . always . . . Snape... I can't believe it. ..."  
  
"Snape was a highly accomplished Occlumens," Lupin said, his voice uncharacteristically harsh. "We always knew that." I gulped down a huge lump in my throat.  
  
"But Dumbledore swore he was on our side!" Tonks whispered. "I always thought Dumbledore must know something about Snape that we didn't. ..." .  
  
"He always hinted that he had an ironclad reason for trusting Snape," Professor McGonagall muttered, now dabbing at the corners of her leaking eyes with a tartan-edged handkerchief. "I mean . . . with Snape's history ... of course people were bound to wonder. . . but Dumbledore told me explicitly that Snape's repentance was absolutely genuine-----Wouldn't hear a word against him!"  
  
"I'd love to know what Snape told him to convince him," said Tonks.  
  
I was about to open my mouth to explain, but Harry spoke first.  
  
"I know," he said, and they all turned to look at him. "Snape passed Voldemort the information that made Voldemort hunt down my mum and dad. Then Snape told Dumbledore he hadn't realized what he was doing, he was really sorry he'd done it, sorry that they were dead."  
  
They all stared at him. I wanted to scream that this was the truth, but no words would come out. They were missing one essential piece of information; it was what would bring them to understand. Yet, I could not tell them. It was not my secret to tell.  
  
"And Dumbledore believed that?" Lupin said incredulously. "Dumbledore believed Snape was sorry James was dead? Snape hated James. . . ."  
  
"And he didn't think my mother was worth a damn either," Harry said, "because she was Muggle-born... 'Mudblood,' he called her. ..."  
  
"You're wrong!" I exclaimed, unable to keep silent any longer. Everyone turned to stare at me, many of them appearing shocked; Harry was looking at me with narrow eyes. "You have no idea what you're talking about."  
  
Harry crossed his arms and glared at me. "I suppose he told you something different. He _manipulated_ you."  
  
"No!" I cried.  
  
"Crystal," my father began gently, placing his hand on my shoulder again.  
  
I shook him off. "I know why Dumbledore trusted Snape. It's more than what you think. It's _real_ proof."  
  
"Then, by all means, tell us," McGonagall said anxiously.  
  
I bit my lip as the flare inside me died out. "I – I can't."  
  
"Because you don't have a reason," Harry said. "You were in on it with him. That's why you were at the tower and didn't do anything."  
  
"You were there?" Ginny said in surprise.  
  
"Tell us what happened," my mom said. "Let's hear your side of the story."  
  
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This was my chance; I had to make the most of it. "Hermione told me that something might be going on, so I went to talk to Snape about it. Then Professor Flitwick arrived and said there was a battle going on right before he fainted. I followed Snape to see what was going on. I saw Death Eaters walking up to the astronomy tower, so I slipped in after them. I saw Draco had cornered Dumbledore..."  
  
"And you didn't do anything to stop him!" Harry said.  
  
I shot him a glare. "And risk getting killed by the Death Eaters? Besides, there was nothing to stop. You know very well that Draco was not going to do anything. I _told_ you he was coerced into all of this."  
  
"But Snape – you didn't stop Snape."  
  
"Because I _trust_ him, Harry. I knew that whatever he did, Dumbledore must be okay with it." I looked around the room in desperation. "Please, you have to believe me. Snape is on our side!"  
  
The members of the Order exchanged glances. "I'm sorry, Miss Hansen," McGonagall began, "but if you cannot tell us your reason for trusting Snape, then we're going to have to go with Harry's story."  
  
I spun around to face my father. "Please?"  
  
He hesitated. "I'm sorry, Crystal. I know you were attached to him. Your judgment is clouded-"  
  
"No, it's not!" I exclaimed.  
  
"You've either lost it or you're with him," Harry retorted.  
  
"_Harry_," Ginny said. "You know she is with us." She looked at me earnestly. "Isn't there anything more you can tell us?"  
  
I shook my head. It was then that I realized even if I could tell them the truth, they still would not believe. The truth would sound absurd; they would think I was making it up to defend Snape. Wait, maybe... There was one person who might understand. I swiveled around until I faced Lupin. I moved towards him, looking at him with pleading eyes. "Please, you knew him in school. Think back. Does anything come to mind – even subconsciously?" He was the most rational out of his group of friends. Surely he must have picked up on _something_.  
  
"I'm sorry," Lupin said sorrowfully. "There is nothing."  
  
I felt crushed as I looked around and saw the skepticism etched into the faces of those around me. I felt like I was being closed in on. I was alone; I had to get out of there.  
  
"You need a rest, honey," my mom said. "It's been a hard day."  
  
"Maybe you need to go home," my dad added.  
  
"No," I said, shaking my head. "You need to believe me." But I knew they would not. There was only one thing left to do; I spun on my heels and darted out of there. I ignored the voices calling me back. They didn't understand. I was an outsider.  
  
I ran through the halls, searching for a place I could be alone. All the while, Dumbledore's words were searing themselves in my mind.  
  
_Stay with him. Do not let him be alone._  
  
Even if it caused me to become ostracized from almost everyone else I cared about?  
  
_Courage means following love even when no one else will understand._  
  
But what if I did not have enough courage after all? I felt weak, not strong.  
  
_Love tests the best in us. It is up to you to decide if it is worth it._  
  
It was worth it, I decided. It _had_ to be. It was too late to change my mind.  
  
I finally reached the hall I had unknowingly been searching for. The Room of Requirement opened easily for me. Inside, I found a long couch. I flung myself onto it and let the tears fall freely.

  
***

Most of the students stayed at Hogwarts for Dumbledore's funeral, including me. Along with many other wizards, my parents stayed in Hogsmeade so they could attend. I spend the days leading up to the even roaming the halls alone, absorbed in my thoughts. There was no need to talk to anyone. I had said all I needed to say. The funeral took place outside near the Black Lake. I took a seat next to Luna and Neville. I felt more at ease with them than others. I did not have to say anything to them; silence was enough. My emotions were brought to the surface again as the event came to a close. I was struck with grief just as much as anyone else, but there was so much more to it than that. Would this be the last time I would be able to stand amongst them like this? When it was through, I got up and began to walk along the length of the lake, letting my thoughts melt into the deep water. Then I could not bear it anymore. I turned and walked out onto grass. I stopped a little way out and let my shoulders slump. I wanted to cry, but it felt like I had already used up all my tears. It did not realize anyone had approached me until I heard my name. It was Ginny. "Sad day, isn't it?" she mused. I nodded. She paused and then said, "Harry broke up at me."

  
I started. This news came as a surprise. "What? Why?"  
  
"Oh, you know, the typical noble reason," Ginny said with a shrug. "He doesn't want Voldemort use me against him. He doesn't want me to get hurt."  
  
I could not help the laugh that escaped my lips; there was an ironic sort of amusement to the situation.  
  
Ginny frowned and looked at me like she was worrying I had finally cracked. "What's so funny?"  
  
"Nothing," I said, shaking my head. "It's just, boys like to do that, don't they? I suppose it means they really care about you, even if they are sometimes stubborn gits."  
  
Ginny's eyes widened in realization. "Did Draco-"  
  
I nodded. "He did the exact same thing. Except, Harry at least had the decency to be honest and tell you what was going on." I took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. "Voldemort threatened to kill Draco and his family if he didn't kill Dumbledore. Draco was afraid that he would threaten to kill me too if he knew what I meant to him."  
  
"So he does still care?"  
  
"He loves me," I said. I looked out at the grass. "That almost makes it worse."  
  
"Well, he task is over, isn't it?" Ginny said tentatively. "Maybe things could be different now."  
  
I shrugged. "Maybe. It will still take him some convincing, though." I sighed again. "I'm more afraid of change that will be for the worst."  
  
"Forget about what Harry said," Ginny said. "He's grieving. He didn't know what he was saying."  
  
I looked back at her with a twisted smile. "No, I don't think he'll get over it. He could probably forgive me for everything that went on with Draco, but he will never forgive me for defending Snape. There is a hatred there that runs too deep."  
  
"Maybe if you apologized-"  
  
"No, Ginny, I won't. I meant what I said. I trust Snape."  
  
Ginny bit her lip as she looked at me with uncertainty. "I really wish you would explain why."  
  
I felt a rush of sadness as I gazed back at her. "You don't know how much I wish I could. Just promise you won't doubt me, ok? I have good intentions."  
  
"Of course not," Ginny said with a weak smile. "I know which side you're on."  
  
I smiled faintly in return. "Thanks. I just fear everyone else will forget."  
  
Neither of us said another word. We both turned to gaze at the castle looming before us. Everything would change when we saw it again, and there was nothing we could do about it. 


	59. Empty

The pain was constant and severe. It seemed to deprive me of all energy. My already natural inclination towards introversion seemed to multiply overnight; being around anyone, even my family, caused me anxiety and the feeling of being closed in. I did not come out of my room some days except eat, of which I could do very little.

I would lie down in my room on my bed or the floor and stare up at the ceiling. I lay there thinking, overanalyzing everything that had happened in my life since moving to England. Sometimes I would close my eyes and just focus on the pain, feeling it.

My only companion was Snowflake. I kept myself busy caring for him and petting him. He would often lie on my stomach when I was lying down. He would meow at me and try to get me to move, but not much would work. Sometimes I got up to stare out at the window. I would also try to write to either Draco or Snape. I had to burn the letters because I knew they could never be sent, but putting my feelings down on paper was somewhat comforting.

My family tried to rouse me, but to no avail. My birthday arrived, and I told everyone to leave me alone. I groaned when I heard a knock at my door. "Go away!"

My door opened anyway. I turned my head and saw Ginny, George, and Fred enter.

"That's not a proper welcome," Fred said with a grin.

"Who let you in the house?" I asked.

"Emily," Ginny replied.

"I don't feel like company."

"It's nice to see you too, mate," said George.

I managed to move myself in a sitting position, sending Snowflake scattering. "Sorry... It's not personal." How could I tell them about the emptiness inside me that had been there since I had arrived home? It felt like there was a hole in my heart that would never be filled.

"You need to get out of the house," Fred said.

"I don't want to be around people."

"It might help," Ginny said, sitting on my bed. She stared down at me.

"I beg to differ," I muttered.

George squatted down so that we were eye-level. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what? How it feels like I'm dying? Or how about the fact that no one believes me?" My eyes narrowed slightly even though I knew I should not be angry at any of them.

"Are you talking about Snape?" Fred asked. "What's the deal? How can you be blind to something staring at you right in the face?"

The flash of anger gave me enough energy to stand up. "Maybe you're not looking _deep_ enough. If you're trying to get a reaction out of me, it's not going to be a good one."

Fred frowned. "Sorry."

"You shouldn't be by yourself on your birthday," George said.

"We could go into muggle London," Ginny suggested. "That way you won't have to be around wizards."

I let out a sigh. I had a feeling they were not going to leave me alone until I agreed to something. "Fine. Let's go."

Fred brightened at my agreement. "Great! The fresh air will be good for you."

Fred and George Apparated Ginny and me to King's Cross (I still had yet to take the Apparatition test). I felt blinded as I walked outside and felt the sun shining in my face. I recoiled in pain.

"Yep, you've been in your room for too long," Fred said.

"What are we doing here?" I groaned.

"We can walk around until you decide on something," Ginny suggested.

"Fine," I said. I did not tell her that it was not likely I would think of anything to do. I wanted to go home.

As we walked, I was gradually apply to let down my defenses and look around at my surroundings. This was not too bad. I could almost forget I was in the company of people. As long as no one talked or suggested something boring, I was good. My friends seemed happy enough that I was no longer complaining.

But then we neared a wide, open field. We were headed straight for it. My heart began to pound as I recognized the area. It was Regent's Park. It was where Draco and I would meet the summer before fifth year. The memories hit me all at once, and they were too much to handle.

"No," I moaned as I sank to my knees on the green grass.

"What's wrong?!" George said, sounding alarmed.

"It hurts, it hurts," I cried. I grabbed handfuls of grass and dirt while gritting my teeth. Tears were blurring my vision, and they stung my eyes. I did not care who saw me break down; the pain was too strong.

"What can we do?" George asked.

I shook my head. Nothing. There was nothing they could do. They should never have come to visit me. Everything was hitting me at once. I had not broken down over it since the day Dumbledore had died. Now, everything was rushing back. I shut my eyes and clutched the sides of my head. "This-this can't continue," I sobbed.

"Of course it won't," Ginny said gently. I heard her standing beside me. "It will get better."

"It h-has to." I swallowed and felt a lump in my throat. "This can't be it. There has to be something more."

"Don't worry about it," Fred said. "Harry will defeat Voldemort soon enough."

But would that guarantee what I wanted? No. What were chances of everyone I cared about and myself surviving? Even if we did, there would be invisible wounds that could affect our lives. Nothing would ever be the same. But I had to hope, didn't I? I had to if I wanted to survive this.

I wiped my eyes with my arms and blinked them open. I was still choking out sobs, but I managed to calm enough so that I could speak. "This has to work out. You all will see the truth soon. You'll see I was right about Snape, and he'll be a hero. And Draco and I will be able to be together. And the three of us will be friends, and nothing will be wrong." It was a wishful fantasy, but I was one I was desperately clinging to. I could not bear it if anything else went wrong.

George was standing in front of me. "Tell us how to help you," he said. He sounded like he was in pain from witnessing my breakdown.

"You like muggle politics, right?" Ginny said. "Winston Churchill?"

I sniffed and nodded. "Yeah. I like him."

"Who's he?" Fred asked.

"He was prime minister of England," Ginny replied. "I remember learning about him on a tour of London awhile back. I know a place we can go. Come on."

"O-ok," I managed to get out.

"Let me help you," George said softly from beside me. He put his arms around me and helped me to my feet. I leaned against him as we set off again.

Eventually, I could see the parliament building come into view. We walked pat it, though, to a building right next to it. A sign said it was the Winston Churchill Museum and Cabinet War Rooms. I knew I could not enter in my current state, so I did my best to wipe my eyes and look presentable.

Fred and George bought the tickets (they carried muggle money around for just such occasions) and we all entered. The War Rooms were a self-guided tour. There were headphones that spoke about something once you got close to it. There was something eerie about learning about World War II. It did make me feel a little better to focus on a past muggle war than the present wizarding one, though.

"What was this war about?" Fred whispered as we stared into a room where Winston Churchill had done most of his underground work.

"Hitler was the dictator of Germany, and he was trying to take over the world," I whispered back.

George blinked. "Lovely."

"That's not even the worst of it." I thought back to what I had learned in America. Muggle history was important there, even to wizards. American wizards believed it was important to learn from the mistakes of muggles in case we ever found ourselves down a similar path. "Hitler used violent oppression to gain control. His main target was the Jewish people. He convinced other Germans that they were an inferior race. He said they were responsible for all the problems Germany faced. They were stealing what was theirs. So they were sent to Concentration Camps where they were tortured, starved, and killed."

"Wait, this sounds familiar," George said.

"Right, it sounds like what You-Know-Who is saying about Muggleborns," Fred said.

My eyes widened at the connection. "Ginny, when did he – Tom Riddle – go to school?"

Ginny frowned slightly. "About 50 years ago. The 1940s."

"That's when World War II was going on," I said. I shook my head in disbelief. "I'll bet anything he was influenced by Hitler. Probably admired him, even."

"A muggle?" Fred said incredulously.

"Yeah, why not?" I said. "There are exceptions to rules, and Hitler probably seemed to have a pretty good plan. He just failed because he wasn't a wizard." I paused. "Besides, I doubt Voldemort really cares about blood status as much as he wants everyone to think. He's a half-blood himself, after all. He just needs people to follow him, so he's manipulating purebloods. He's making them think they've lost something, and the muggles and muggleborns are to blame."

"Just like Hitler and the Jews," Ginny said.

I nodded. "History is repeating itself in our world."

"Wow," George said. "How did the war end?"

"America intervened," I said. "Hitler no longer stood a chance."

"Do you think American wizards will help us this time?"

I shrugged. "That's what my dad's working on. He's gotten many wizards to come over here and fight, but the American wizard government is still refusing to admit it's their problem."

Fred raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "They don't think You-Know-Who will move onto America?"

"No one worried about Hitler until we were attacked by his ally, Japan. I guess sometimes it takes something personal to get involved."

Ginny gentled touched my arm. "Maybe we should move on."

I nodded. It was a good idea. There was still so much more to see, and I did not want to be left alone with my thoughts for long.

I found the war room pretty interesting. It was cool to see history up close. The rooms led into the museum, where there were countless documents and exhibits detailing the life of Winston Churchill. I knew I could spend hours there.

I casually glanced over a multimedia presentation of various Churchill quotes. I stop at one in particular: "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

I was struck by the words, and I stood there for a long time letting them sink in. It felt like this was exactly what I needed to hear at this point in my life, and it had come from an unlikely place.

"Sounds like something a Gryffindor would say," George said from behind me.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. I suppose it does." I suddenly felt grateful that my friends had been so perseverant in trying to get me out of the house; it had done me some good. I hoped I would find a way to repay them someday.

*

My parents were there to greet us when we returned to my house. "Thank you for taking her out," my dad said.

"No problem," said George. He flashed me a smile. "We'll see you later then?"

I nodded. "Right." I waited until my free friends had left, and then I turned back to my parents and blinked.

"We need to have a family meeting," my mom said.

I frowned, not liking the sound of that. "Ok..."

Soon, my whole family was seated in the living room. My parents took one couch while I sat in between Emily and Lizzie on the other. "How would you lot feel about returning to America?" my dad asked.

"It would be great to visit," Lizzie said excitedly.

"I'm not talking about visiting," said my dad.

"We're considering moving," my mom said.

There was a moment of silence. Then I leapt up from the couch and shouted, "No! We can't move! Not _now_."

"Calm down, Crystal," Dad said. "We haven't decided anything yet."

"We just feel like Great Britain is too dangerous right now considering everything that has happened," Mom said gently.

I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes. "So we're going to abandon the Order and flee like you did last time?"

"_Crystal_," Dad said with an edge in his voice, "you have no idea what it was like back then. And I would not be abandoning the Order. You three would leave with your mother while I stayed here."

"But what if you get hurt?" Emily asked in concern.

"We should be in this together," Lizzie added.

"So let's stay _here_," I said forcefully.

"I thought you would want to leave," Mom said. "You haven't done much all summer. You're in too much pain here. Don't you want to get away and start a new life?"

I hesitated. The idea was tempting, but I couldn't. I shook my head. "I have a duty to fulfill. I'm a _Gryffindor_. I _don't_ give up. My friends need me. I'm of age now; if you stay here, Dad, I'm staying with you." I was not going to be swayed on this issue. What good would I be an ocean away?

"And I don't want to leave Hogwarts," Emily said.

"Hogwarts is no longer safe now that Dumbledore is gone," Dad pointed out.

"Not necessarily," I said. "McGonagall is in the Order. And if Snape comes back-"

"You will all be in very real danger," Dad said in harsh tone. "I do not want you to talk to him anymore, Crystal."

"But you're wrong about him!" I said. I gritted my teeth. "You can't stop me, anyway. You didn't stop me from talking to Draco. Can't you trust me to make my own decision?"

"Not when you keep making the wrong decisions," said Mom.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Even if she was right, how would I ever learn if I was not allowed to make mistakes? "I want to stay here," I said to get the conversation back on track.

"Me too," Lizzie said.

"And me," said Emily.

Dad took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Alright. I suppose it's settled then. We better prepare for war." 


	60. Coming Alive

The days passed much too slowly. I still remained mostly in my room, but I did occasionally accept company from my sisters and my friends. I was longing for summer to be over. At least at Hogwarts I had school to keep me busy and interested. Here there was nothing except emptiness. I tried to think of a plan once I returned to Hogwarts, but not much came to me; there were too many unknown variables.

Something exciting finally happened at the end of July. My father told me how Harry was protected in his house until he turned 17, which was in a week. He needed to get out of his house and to somewhere safe before he turned 17 and Voldemort took his chance to kill him. My father asked if I would like to help out. Though I was not very fond of Harry at the moment, I was willing to do anything if it meant helping out the cause. So on July 27th, I found myself inside Harry's house with my dad, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Bill, Mr. Weasley, Mad-Eye Moody, Tonks, Lupin, Fleur, Kingsley, Hagrid, and Mundungus Fletcher. The plan was a bit crazy, but I figured the adults knew what they were doing.

Moody explained the plan as quickly as he could. "You'll be going to Tonks's parents," he said at the end. "Once you're within the boundaries of the protective enchantments we've put on their house you'll be able to use a Portkey to the Burrow. Any questions?"

"Er, yes," Harry said. "Maybe they won't know which of the twelve secure houses I'm heading for at first, but won't it be sort of obvious once sixteen of us fly off toward Tonks's parents?"

"Ah," Moody said, "I forgot to mention the key point. Sixteen of us won't be flying to Tonks's parents. There will be eight Harry Potters moving through the skies tonight, each of them with a companion, each pair heading for a different safe house." From inside his cloak Moody now withdrew a flask of what looked like mud. It was polyjuice potion.

"No!" Harry said loudly. "No way!"

"I told them you'd take it like this," Hermione said with a hint of complacency.

"If you think I'm going to let seven people risk their lives-!"

"-because it's the first time for all of us," Ron said.

"This is different, pretending to be me..."

"Well, none of us really fancy it, Harry," Fred said earnestly. "Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever."

"And it's not just about _you_," I retorted, my arms crossedand my expression hard. "You think I'm here for _you_? There's a war going on and, like it or not, you're a central part. If we lose you it's all over. This is so much bigger than you."

Harry looked at me sharply for a few seconds before turning his head away. "You can't do it if I don't cooperate; you need me to give you some hair."

"Well, that's the plan scuppered," George said. "Obviously there's no chance at all of us getting a bit of your hair unless you cooperate."

"Yeah, fifteen of us against one bloke who's not allowed to use magic; we've got no chance," Fred said.

"Funny," Harry said, "really amusing."

"If it has to come to force, then it will," Moody growled, his magical eye now quivering a little in its socket as he glared at Harry. "Everyone here's overage, Potter, and they're all prepared to take the risk. Let's have no more arguments. Time's wearing on. I want a few of your hairs, boy, now."

"But this is mad, there's no need-"

"No need!" Moody snarled. "With You-Know-Who out there and half the Ministry on his side? Potter, if we're lucky he'll have swallowed the fake bait and he'll be planning to ambush you on the thirtieth, but he'd be mad not to have a Death Eater or two keeping an eye out, it's what I'd do. They might not be able to get at you or this house while your mother's charm holds, but it's about to break and they know the rough position of the place. Our only chance is to use decoys. Even You-Know-Who can't split himself into eight. So, Potter, some of your hair, if you please."

"Or I'll get it myself," I said with narrowed eyes. My dad placed my hand on my shoulder to calm me.

"Now!" Moody barked.

With all of their our upon him, Harry reached up to the top of his head, grabbed a hank of hair, and pulled.

"Good," Moody said, limping forward as he pulled the stopper out of the flask of potion. "Straight in here, if you please."

Harry dropped the hair into the liquid. The moment it made contact with its surface, the potion began to froth and smoke, then, all at once, it turned a clear, bright gold.

"Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry," Hermione said, before catching sight of Ron's raised eyebrows, blushing slightly, and saying, "Oh, you know what I mean. Goyle's potion tasted like bogies."

"Right then, fake Potters line up over here, please," Moody said.

Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Fleur, and I lined up in front of a sink.

"We're one short," said Lupin.

"Here," Hagrid said gruffly, and he lifted Mundungus by the scruff of the neck and dropped him down between me and Fleur, who wrinkled her nose pointedly and moved along to stand between Fred and George instead.

"I'm a soldier, I'd sooner be a protector," Mundungus said.

"Shut it," growled Moody. "As I've already told you, you spineless worm, any Death Eaters we run into will be aiming to capture Potter, not kill him. Dumbledore always said You-Know-Who would want to finish Potter in person. It'll be the protectors who have got the most to worry about, the Death Eaters'll want to kill them." Mundungus did not look particularly reassured, but Moody was already pulling half a dozen eggcup-sized glasses from inside his cloak, which he handed out, before pouring a little Polyjuice Potion into each one. "Altogether, then ..."

Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Fleur, Mundungus, and I drank. I gasped and grimaced as the potion hit my throats. I felt funny. I shot upward, and my hair seemed to be pulled back into my skull. Moody, quite unconcerned, was now loosening the ties of the large sacks he had brought with him. When he straightened up again, there were seven Harry Potters gasping and panting in front of him.

Fred and George turned to each other and said together, "Wow, we're identical!"

"I dunno, though, I think I'm still better-looking," said Fred, examining his reflection in the kettle.

"Bah," Fleur said, checking herself in the microwave door, "Bill, don't look at me, I'm 'ideous."

I was not too happy about it either. Harry was one of the last persons I wanted to become. It felt gross.

"Those whose clothes are a bit roomy, I've got smaller here," Moody said, indicating the first sack, "and vice versa. Don't forget the glasses; there's seven pairs in the side pocket. And when you're dressed, there's luggage in the other sack."

I reached for the sack and pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I felt much more comfortable once I had changed. Then I proceeded to put on glasses and stuff my own things away. Everyone else was involved in identical tasks.

"I knew Ginny was lying about that tattoo," Ron said, looking down at his bare chest.

"Harry, your eyesight really is awful," Hermione said as she put on glasses.

Once dressed, we all took rucksacks and owl cages, each containing a stuffed snowy owl, from the second sack. "Good," Moody said, as at last eight dressed, bespectacled, and luggage-laden Harrys faced him. "The pairs will be as follows: Mundungus will be traveling with me, by broom-"

"Why'm I with you?" grunted the Harry nearest the back door.

"Because you're the one that needs watching," growled Moody, and sure enough, his magical eye did not waver from Mundungus as he continued, "Arthur and Fred-"

"I'm George," said the twin at whom Moody was pointing. "Can't you even tell us apart when we're Harry?"

"Sorry, George."

"I'm only yanking your wand, I'm Fred, really."

"Enough messing around!" Moody snarled. "The other one - George or Fred or whoever you are - you're with Remus. Miss Delacour-"

"I'm taking Fleur on a thestral," Bill said. "She's not that fond of brooms." Fleur walked over to stand beside him, giving him a soppy, slavish look.

"Miss Granger with Kingsley, again by thestral. Miss Hansen, you'll be with your father on thestral. "

"Which leaves you and me, Ron!" Tonks said brightly, knocking over a mug tree as she waved at him.

"An' you're with me, Harry. That all righ'?" Hagrid said, looking a little anxious. "We'll be on the bike, brooms an' thestrals can't take me weight, see. Not a lot o' room on the seat with me on it, though, so you'll be in the sidecar."

"That's great," Harry said.

"We think the Death Eaters will expect you to be on a broom," Moody said. "Snape's had plenty of time to tell them everything about you he's never mentioned before, so if we do run into any Death Eaters, we're betting they'll choose one of the Potters who looks at home on a broomstick. All right then," he went on, tying up the sack with the fake Potters' clothes in it and leading the way back to the door, "I make it three minutes until we're supposed to leave. No point locking the back door, it won't keep the Death Eaters out when they come looking. Come on ..."

I marched out the back door with the group. I could not help the small gasp that escaped my lips when I saw the thestrals. They were winged horses with a skeletal body, face with reptilian features, and wide, leathery wings that resemble a bat's. I had never been able to see them before. My throat tightened when I realized the reason. Only those who had seen death could see thestrals.

"Come on," my dad said. He helped me onto a thestral and then got up in front of me. I held onto him as the animal took off. I remembered the last time I had ridden a thestral; it was much better to actually be able to _see_ what I was riding on.

Everyone else had taken off at the same time. The wind was pushing my glasses against my eyes, causing them to hurt, but I still tried to keep a lookout for Death Eaters.

And then suddenly we were surrounded. At least thirty hooded figures, suspended in midair, formed a vast circle in the middle of which the Order members had risen. There were blazes of green light everywhere. My thestral dipped down, causing my stomach to lurch.

I rested my luggage on my foot while I pulled out my wand with my now-free hand. "Stupefy!" I cried repeatedly as I whipped my wand around at the figures. My father managed to extract his own wand and fight them off as well. Soon, we had enough space to zoom out of the circle and continue our circle. We were being followed, though. I turned around as best as I could and shouted out spells.

"Having fun yet?" my dad called over the wind.

"Sure, this is the most exciting thing I've done all summer!" I shouted back. It actually did feel pretty good to be engaged in battle. I managed to hit a couple Death Eaters, sending them hurling to the ground. Would we be able to escape unharmed?

I became slightly uneasy as the number of Death Eaters pursuing us had slowly vanished. Had they all been defeated, or had they discovered the real Harry?

I did not have time to reflect on it. Soon, we were landing in front of a house. My dad climbed off the thestral before helping me off as well. "It's Moody's house," he said. "Ours is too close to the Burrow." He patted the thestral on the side and it began to walk away.

Something struck me. "Dad, can you see the thestral?"

Dad turned to me, seeming slightly surprised. "Yes, I can."

I frowned. "You've seen someone die?"

Dad suddenly seemed hesitant to answer. "It was during the first war," he said slowly. "He was one of my best friends. We got in the way of a Death Eater. Only I survived." He appeared sadder than I had ever seen him.

"Why didn't you tell me about that?" I asked softly.

"It's not easy to talk about." He paused. "I know what wars like this can cost. It was not something I wanted your mother to go through. And when we found out she was pregnant..." He shook his head. "America seemed like a better place for us to be. I was not trying to run away from everything."

"I know. I'm sorry I said it." I had never really stopped to think about the situation for his perspective. Perhaps he knew something of what I was feeling after all. Maybe I needed to take time to listen to him more often.

"But we're here now," he said in a strong voice. "We're going to win this one."

"Right," I said with a slight smile. "I'm ready to fight." Even if that meant taking on battles no one else would understand.

My dad looked me over with something like fondness in his eyes. "How did you get so grown up?"

I shrugged. "With everything that's happened to me, it was necessary. It was either that or collapse under the pressure. It's not the way I wanted it to happen, though..."

Dad nodded. "It would have been better if you had more of a chance to be a teenager." He let out a short sigh. "Well, we better get to the Burrow before the others start to worry."

There was no one else in the house. My dad easily found the portkey – a sock lying on the floor on the edge of the living room and the kitchen. We both touched it and we began to spin.

I managed to stay on my feet as we reappeared in the front yard of the Burrow. I glanced down and noticed that I had turned back into myself. That was a relief. Before my dad and I could do anything, I heard Mr. Weasley shout: "I'll prove who I am, Kingsley, after I've seen my son, now back off if you know what's good for you!" I could see Fred standing near him.

I felt alarmed at these words. Had something happened to George? I ran past Kingsley and entered the house after Mr. Weasley and Fred. I could see Harry, Ginny, and Mrs. Weasley gathered in the living room. I lost my breath when I saw George. His face was covered in blood, and one of his ears was missing.

"Arthur!" Mrs. Weasley sobbed. "Oh thank goodness!"

"How is he?" Mr. Weasley asked as he dropped to his knees beside George. Fred seemed to be lost for words. He gaped over the back of the sofa at his twin's wound as if he could not believe what he was seeing. I stood beside him, feeling just as shocked as he looked.

George stirred.

"How do you feel, Georgie?" Mrs. Weasley whispered.

George's fingers groped for the side of his head. "Saintlike," he murmured.

"What's wrong with him?" Fred croaked, looking terrified. "Is his mind affected?"

"Saintlike," George repeated, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. "You see... I'm holy. Holey, Fred, geddit?"

Mrs. Weasley sobbed harder than ever. Color flooded Fred's pale face. "Pathetic," he told George. "Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?"

I let out a breath of relief. Of course George would know how to make light of a terrible situation; it was admirable. I looked down at him with a small smile on my face.

"Ah well," George said, grinning at his tear-soaked mother. "You'll be able to tell us apart now, anyway, Mum." His eyes found mine. "Crystal, I haven't seen you smile in awhile." He offered me a bright one of his own.

"Yeah, well, I'm just glad you're ok," I said, still smiling slightly. I supposed I had not smiled in a long time. I had not had a reason.

George glanced at Harry. "Hi, Harry. You are Harry, right?"

"Yeah, I am," Harry said, moving closer to the sofa.

"Well, at least we got you back okay," George said. "Why aren't Ron and Bill huddled round my sickbed?"

"They're not back yet, George," Mrs. Weasley said. George's grin faded. Harry glanced at Ginny and motioned to her; the two of them headed outside.

"Did you have much of a fight?" George asked, looking from Fred to me.

"Nothing I couldn't handle," Fred said.

"Same here," I said. "It was kind of fun, actually. It felt great to be able to put this stuff to good use."

"Now you're sounding like one of us," Fred said, grinning at me.

Before I could ponder what he meant, Ginny came running back in the room. "Ron and Tonks are back alright," she said.

"Oh, thank goodness," Mrs. Weasley said, clutching her heart.

I nodded. "Good." Now, where were the other four?

Ginny ran back outside with both her parents on her heels. That just left Fred, George, my dad, and me. "The others will be fine," my dad said to us.

"Right," George said with a small frown.

"Think about all the great stories we will be able to tell," Fred said.

I looked away as the two of them began to laugh together. I wanted to join in and be happy, but something did not feel right. It was too soon to celebrate. I looked up when the group inside reentered. With relief, I could see that Bill and Fleur were with them. Moody and Mundungus were still missing, though. My heart sank when I saw the look on their faces.

"What's wrong?" Fred said, voicing my thoughts. "What's happened? Who's-"

"Mad-Eye," Mr. Weasley said, "Dead."

The twins' grins turned to grimaces of shock that matched my own. Nobody seemed to know what to do. Tonks was crying silently into a handkerchief. Hagrid, who had sat down on the floor in the corner where he had most space, was dabbing at his eyes with his tablecloth-sized handkerchief.

Bill walked over to the sideboard and pulled out a bottle of fire-whisky and some glasses. "Here," he said, and with a wave of his wand, he sent fourteen full glasses soaring through the room to each of us, holding the fifteenth aloft. "Mad-Eye."

"Mad-Eye," we all said and drank.

"Mad-Eye," echoed Hagrid, a little late, with a hiccup.

The firewhisky seared my throat, but it felt good at the moment.

"So Mundungus disappeared?" said Lupin, who had drained his own glass in one. The atmosphere changed at once. Everybody looked tense, watching Lupin.

"I know what you're thinking," Bill said, "and I wondered that too, on the way back here, because they seemed to be expecting us, didn't they? But Mundungus can't have betrayed us. They didn't know there would be seven Harrys, that confused them the moment we appeared, and in case you've forgotten, it was Mundungus who suggested that little bit of skullduggery. Why wouldn't he have told them the essential point? I think Dung panicked, it's as simple as that. He didn't want to come in the first place, but Mad-Eye made him, and You-Know-Who went straight for them. It was enough to make anyone panic."

"You-Know-Who acted exactly as Mad-Eye expected him to," Tonks sniffed. "Mad-Eye said he'd expect the real Harry to be with the toughest, most skilled Aurors. He chased Mad-Eye first, and when Mundungus gave them away he switched to Kingsley.... "

"Yes, and zat eez all very good," Fleur snapped, "but still eet does not explain 'ow zey know we were moving 'Arry tonight, does eet? Somebody must 'ave been careless. Somebody let slip ze date to an outsider. It is ze only explanation for zem knowing ze date but not ze 'ole plan." She glared around at them all, tear tracks still etched on her beautiful face, silently daring any of them to contradict her. Nobody did. The only sound to break the silence was that of Hagrid hiccupping from behind his handkerchief.

"No," Harry said aloud, and we all looked at him, surprised: the firewhisky seemed to have amplified his voice. "I mean... if somebody made a mistake," Harry went on, "and let something slip, I know they didn't mean to do it. It's not their fault," he repeated, again a little louder than he would usually have spoken. "We've got to trust each other. I trust all of you, I don't think anyone in this room would ever sell me to Voldemort."

More silence followed his words. I felt surprised that he had not called me out. Surely, out of everyone, he would have suspected me of betraying him? Maybe he had just been an emotional wreck when he attacked me after all. I felt grateful that he finally come around and realized that I was on his side.

"Well said, Harry," Fred said unexpectedly.

"Year, 'ear, 'ear," said George, with half a glance at Fred, the corner of whose mouth twitched.

Lupin was wearing an odd expression as he looked at Harry. It was close to pitying.

"You think I'm a fool?" Harry demanded.

"No, I think you're like James," Lupin said, "who would have regarded it as the height of dishonor to mistrust his friends." He had turned away from Harry, set down his glass upon a side table, and addressed Bill, "There's work to do. I can ask Kingsley whether-"

"No," Bill said at once, "I'll do it, I'll come."

"Where are you going?" said Tonks and Fleur together.

"Mad-Eye's body," Lupin said. "We need to recover it."

"Can't it-?" Mrs. Weasley began with an appealing look at Bill.

"Wait?" Bill said, "Not unless you'd rather the Death Eaters took it?"

Nobody spoke. Lupin and Bill said good bye and left.

"We should get going too," my dad said, nodding at me. "Our family is expecting us."

"Thank you for coming," Mr. Weasley said.

"Goodbye, Crystal," George said with a smile. "I hope you'll come back."

"I will," I promised. "Goodbye." Then I turned and left with my father. I knew I would have plenty to think about and reflect on once I returned home. 


	61. Phoenix Tears

I managed to remain more active for the next several days. Still, nothing much happened. I went over to visit George once, but that was about it. Then, on the last day of July, something out of the ordinary did happen.

My family and I had just finished eating dinner when there was a knock on the door. My dad left to answer it, so I did not think much of it. I was surprised, however, when he returned a minute later with the Minister of Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour.

"I am sorry to interrupt," Scrimgeour said. "I need to speak with Miss Crystal Hansen in private."

"Me?" I said in surprise as I stood up from my seat.

"Yes," the minister said tightly.

"What is this about?" my mom asked, looking at him in worry.

"Is Crystal in trouble?" Emily asked.

"I'm sure she will tell you all about it when we finish," Scrimgeour said, sounding impatient.

"You better leave," I said, looking around at my family. They did not seem happy about the prospect, but they all filed out from the kitchen and into the living room. I turned to the minister. "Yes?"

Scrimgeour put his hand inside his cloak and drew out a large drawstring pouch. From it, he removed a scroll of parchment which he unrolled and read aloud. 'The Last Will and Testament of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.'" He lowered the paper and looked at me pointedly. "Were you close to Dumbledore, Miss Hansen?"

I had been caught by surprise. I had not thought we were, but... He had left me something in his will? He knew he would be dying, so it had to be something important. "We talked several times," I said slowly. "We sort of... understood each other." I was cautious to give away too much; I still did not trust the Ministry.

"I see," Scrimgeour said tightly. He returned to the will. "'To Crystal Lea Hansen, I leave a vile of phoenix tears as a reminder of the power of the gift of healing.'" Out of the bag, he pulled out a vile that looked like it was full of only a few drops of liquid.

I took the vile from him and eyed it carefully. It seemed like this would only be good for one wound. The tears came from Fawkes, no doubt. I wondered how Dumbledore had gotten the phoenix to donate them and why he had wanted me to have them.

"Phoenix tears are very rare and valuable," Scrimgeour said. "They have the power to heal any wound, including those that would be fatal. Why do you suppose Dumbledore gave this to you?"

I looked at him and blinked. Was he interrogating me? Did he think Dumbledore was giving me some sort of secret message? Was that why the will had not been released until now? "Because there's a war going on," I said. "People I care about are bound to get hurt."

"Yes, but why _you_?" the minister said impatiently. "Dumbledore left most of his possessions to Hogwarts. The only people he remembered in his will were Potter, Weasley, Granger, and you. Do you have any idea why?"

"Nope," I said. And even if I did, I was not about to tell him. "Is that all? I'd like to go back to me family."

Scrimgeour did not look happy. With a huff, he said, "Very well. Good day, Miss Hansen." I watched him turned around and stalk out of the room.

I held the vile in my hand as I headed into the living room. I stopped when I saw that my family was sitting down, waiting for me. "What's that?" my mom asked.

"Phoenix tears," I said. "Dumbledore left this for me in his will."

"That's interesting," my dad said. "I did not know you two knew each other."

"We talked three times last year," I said. "Though, they were all very deep meetings. It was almost like talking with a good friend. He understood what he was going through, and he tried to help me the best he could." I shrugged and glanced at the vile. "I suppose this is supposed to help me cope."

"I'm sure it will be very useful," Dad said.

I nodded. "Right." Knowing Dumbledore, though, I could not help feeling like I was missing something. Was there a deeper purpose than was apparently visible?

***

Bill and Fleur's wedding was held the following afternoon. My whole family was invited. My mother made a huge fuss about us all looking our best. I ended up in a simple blue dress with a silver necklace. Emily was dressed in all pink. Lizzie, on the other hand, wore a nice yellow dress that had bits of black, causing it to resemble Hufflepuff.

There was a long line to enter the house when we arrived. As we got closer, I could see that Ron, Fred, George, and another red-headed boy were showing people to their seats. I then remembered that Harry would be hiding as a Weasley cousin, and I assumed this boy was him.

"Good afternoon," George said to us brightly once we arrived at the beginning of the line. "Let me show you to your seats."

"Thank you, George," my dad said.

I did not recognize any of the people we were seated near. That was fine, though. I did not feel much like talking. My mom, however, excitedly started up a conversation with the French woman sitting beside her. I closed my eyes and let my skin soak up the sun that made its way through the tent we were under while I waited for the wedding to start.

Then Emily nudged me, and I opened my eyes. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley strolled up the aisle, smiling and waving at relatives; Mrs. Weasley was wearing a brand-new set of amethyst colored robes with a matching hat.

A moment later, Bill and Charlie stood up at the front of the marquee, both wearing dress robes, with larger white roses in their buttonholes; Fred wolf-whistled and there was an outbreak of giggling from the veela cousins. Then the crowd fell silent as music swelled from what seemed to be the golden balloons.

A great collective sigh issued from the assembled witches and wizards as Monsieur Delacour and Fleur came walking up the aisle, Fleur gliding, Monsieur Delacour bouncing and beaming. Fleur was wearing a very simple white dress and seemed to be emitting a strong, silvery glow. Ginny and Gabrielle, both wearing golden dresses, looked even prettier than usual, and once Fleur had reached for him, Bill did not look as though he had ever met Fenrir Greyback.

"Ladies and gentlemen," said a slightly singsong voice, and with a start, I saw the same wizard who had presided at Dumbledore's funeral now standing in front of Bill and Fleur. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two faithful souls..."

I found myself smiling as I watched the proceeding. It was a happy occasion.

"Do you, William Arthur, take Fleur Isabelle...?"

In the front row, Mrs. Weasley and Madame Delacour were both sobbing quietly into scraps of lace. If I had been one to cry at happy events, I was sure I would be as well. There was almost a sad twist to it as well. Would I be blessed enough to have a wedding like this with the man I loved?

"...then I declare you bonded for life."

The tufty-haired wizard waved his hand high over the heads of Bill and Fleur and a shower of silver stars fell upon them, spiraling around their now entwined figures. As Fred and George led a round of applause, the golden balloons overhead burst. Birds of paradise and tiny golden bells flew and floated out of them, adding their songs and chimes to the din.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" the tufty-haired wizard called. "If you would please stand up!"

We all did so. The wizard waved his wand again. The scars on which they had been sitting rose gracefully into the air as the canvas walls of the marquee vanished, so that they stood beneath a canopy supported by golden poles, with a glorious view of the sunlit orchard and surrounding countryside. Next, a pool of molten gold spread from the center of the tent to form a gleaming dance floor; the hovering chairs grouped themselves around small, white-clothed tables, which all floated gracefully back to earth round it, and the golden-jacketed hand trooped toward a podium. The waiters popped up on all sides, some hearing silver trays of pumpkin juice, butterbeer, and firewhisky, others tottering piles of tarts and sandwiches.

"Let's go congratulate them," my mother said.

I craned my neck and saw a crowd of people flocking around Bill and Fleur. "It looks like it'll take awhile," I said. "We'll do it later." While Emily and my mom pulled my dad in the direction of the couple, Lizzie and I wandered across the dance floor to the other side where the tables awaited us.

I found Luna sitting by herself; I smiled as I made my way over to her. "Hi, Luna," I said.

"Hello, Crystal," Luna said. "You look lovely."

"Thank you. This is my sister, Lizzie." I nodded at the girl beside me. "She was a first year Hufflepuff last year."

"Hello, Lizzie," Luna said. "I am a Ravenclaw."

"Nice to meet you," Lizzie said with a slight smile. I sat down between the two of them.

A minute later, I saw Ron, Hermione, and the red-headed Harry emerge from the crowd. "All right if we join you?" Ron asked.

"Oh yes," she said happily. "Daddy's just gone to give Bill and Fleur our present."

"What is it, a lifetime's supply of Gurdyroots?" Ron asked.

I turned my head to look at the dance floor once the band began to play. Bill and Fleur took to the dance floor first, to great applause. After a while, Mr. Weasley led Madame Delacour onto the floor, followed by Mr. Weasley and Fleur's father.

"I like this song," Luna said, swaying in time to the waltz-like tune, and a few seconds later she stood up and glided onto the dance floor, where she revolved on the spot, quite alone, eyes closed and waving her arms.

"She's great isn't she?" Ron said admiringly. "Always good value."

I brightened when I saw Fred and George headed our way. "Hello, mates," George said when they arrived. He smiled down at me. "Would you care to dance?" He held out his hand.

"Alright," I said as I took his hand and stood up.

"You too, miss," Fred said, bowing lowly to Lizzie and holding out his hand as well. Lizzie giggled as she accepted.

"Enjoying yourself?" George asked once we began dancing.

"Yeah," I said. "It's kind of fun."

"Good," George said with a bright smile.

We remained silent for the rest of the dance, but I did not mind. I liked dancing with him. I was suddenly reminded of the last time we had danced together – at the Yule Ball. I quickly turned my mind onto something else before unwanted memories began to poor in.

"Thank you," George said once the dance finished.

I smiled slightly. Out of the corner of my mind, I noticed that Ron and Hermione had just finished dancing. "Excuse me; I have to ask Hermione something."

"I will see you later then," George said.

I nodded as I left him. I sifted through the people until I reached my targets. "Hey, guys," I said. "How's it going?"

"Great," Hermione said in a pleasant tone. "The wedding was beautiful, wasn't it?"

"It was," I agreed. I waited to speak until the three of us had made our way off the dance floor. I was glad there did not seem to be many people around us now. "I heard Harry and you two were included in Dumbledore's will."

"And we heard that of you," Ron said. "What did he leave you?"

"A vile of phoenix tears," I said. "Just enough for one wound."

"Wow," Hermione said. "Phoenix tears are highly useful, especially with this war."

"Bit phoenix tears are not going to do a whole lot of good against the Killing Curse," Ron pointed out.

I shrugged. "I'm sure it will come in handy. What did you guys get?"

"A book of wizard fairytales," Hermione said.

"I got something that steals light," Ron said. "Dumbledore gave Harry the first snitch he caught during a game."

I blinked, uncomprehending. "And I thought mine was hard to understand." I paused. There had to be a reason for everything. "You guys know what you're doing, right? Dumbledore gave you a plan?"

Hermione and Ron exchanged glances. "Sort of," Hermione said with uncertainty. "We were given a general direction."

"So, you're not going back to school?"

Hermione bit her lip before nodding. "We really need to start right away."

"I understand," I said. "Dumbledore told me to do something as well, and I plan to. I'll look after Ginny for you."

Ron blinked. "Thanks."

I glanced behind them and noticed that Emily and my parents were now talking to Bill and Fleur. I had started to walk toward them when I realized I had lost my little sister. I was relieved when I saw Lizzie standing several yards away, looking lost. When I reached her, I grabbed her arm and started toward our family. We managed to squeeze in next to Emily.

"Hello," I said to the couple. "Congratulations."

Bill smiled at me. "Thank you, Crystal. Beautiful day, isn't it?"

Right," I said with a slight smile. I noticed my mother gabbing away to Fleur while m dad and sisters watched on.

"Ron says you're interested in magical creatures."

I blinked in surprise. "He did?"

Bill nodded. "Do you like dragons?"

"I love dragons," I said. "I think they're fascinating creatures."

Bill gave me a crooked smile. "You should meet my older brother, Charlie. He studies dragons in Romania." He turned and touched a boy on the arm who had been talking to a group of people. "Charlie, she's interested in dragons."

Charlie turned and smiled at me. "Hello there. Are you a friend of Ron's?"

"Er, sort of," I said. "My name's Crystal Hansen."

"Ah, I have heard of you," Charlie said. "You're the Gryffindor who likes Slytherins."

I blinked. "You heard about that?"

"Ron, Ginny, Fred, and George have all told me at some point," Charlie said. "So, you like dragons?"

"Yes," I said.

"You should come visit me in Romania sometime," he said. "I could show you some really great dragons." He paused. "I heard you were interested in that Malfoy boy."

I frowned. "It's complicated," I said, shifting uncomfortably. I did _no_t want to discuss this right now.

"Did you know 'Draco' means 'dragon' in Latin?"

I looked at him in surprise. "No, I didn't." It seemed fitting in a way. Dragons... "Cool."

A Weasley relative turned and said something to Charlie. Feeling suddenly lost in the conversation, I took the chance to slip away. I remained by myself for awhile, though I did keep an eye out for Ginny; there were too many people around for my liking, and I wondered when my mother would allow us to leave.

And then something large and silver came falling through the canopy over the dance floor. Graceful and gleaming, the lynx landed lightly in the middle of the astonished dancers. Heads turned, as those nearest it froze absurdly in mid-dance. Then the Patronus's mouth opened wide and it spoke in the loud, deep, slow voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt: "The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming."

My body immediately turned tense. Death Eaters were coming, and I was not prepared. This was different than when I had helped transport Harry; this time, I had not mentally prepared myself to fight, and I was not sure I wanted to. What if Draco or his parents appeared? I was suddenly very aware of my terrible situation.

Somebody screamed.

Guests were sprinting in all directions; many were Disapparating; the protective enchantments around the Burrow had broken. I saw cloaked and masked figures appearing in the crowd. Then I saw Lupin and Tonks, their wands raised, and heard both of them shout, "Protego!", a cry that was echoed on all sides.

I thought about joining, but then I realized that I needed to look for my family. My heart hammered in my chest as I zipped through the crowd, keeping my head bent low. Then, up ahead, I saw a terrified-looking Lizzie with her back to a table. I quickened my pace to reach her.

"Crystal!" Lizzie cried.

A second later, I was upon her. I grabbed her hand and Apparated to the first place that popped into my mind.

"Where are we?" Lizzie asked when we reappeared in a grassy area.

"Regent's Park," I said. "It's in London. You'll be safe here; I need to go back for the others." I Disapparated before she could protest.

I Apparated into a wedding gone made. People were running around and screaming, and spells were flying everywhere. I quickly scanned the room for my family. I felt relieved when I saw my father with his wand out standing in front of my mother, who was clutching Emily to her chest. I managed to dodge my way over to them. "We have to get out of here!" I called.

"Where's Lizzie?" my mom asked over the noise.

"I already brought her somewhere safe," I explained. "I'll take you there." I grabbed her and Emily's hands and then looked up at my dad.

"You go!" my dad said. "I'll be there soon!"

  
I hesitated before deciding to trust him; we zapped out of there. I felt dizzy as we landed in the park. My mom raced to Lizzie and hugged her. My heart began to slow down. We were safe... for now.

"We should walk back to our house," I said. "By the time we get there, we should be safe."

"Why did you bring us here?" Emily asked.

"No reason," I said, turning my head away so that she could not see the sadness in my eyes. The day had started off so peacefully. How had everything gone so wrong so quickly? "Everything will turn out fine," Is aid softly as Lizzie fell in step beside me.

"How do you know?" Lizzie asked, looking up at me in worry.

"Because it can't get worse, right?" But I knew the answer to that question. It could always get _much_ worse. 


	62. Choices

Everyone at the wedding ended up being fine. Those who were left behind were interrogated by the Death Eaters about Harry's whereabouts, but nothing came out of it. The Weasley family was put under surveillance, though they were allowed to continue with life as normal.

I found myself alone most of the time again. What was there to do? It was the Saturday after the wedding, and my whole family was home. I stayed in my room, alternating between staring out my window and petting Snowflake.

There was a knock at the door. I did not bother answering because I knew whoever it was would come in anyway. Sure enough, I looked to see George step through. Snowflake raced over to greet him.

"Hey, Snowflake," George said with a smile, pending down to pet the cat. He glanced up at me. "Do you want to take a walk?"

I merely nodded. I needed to get out of the house.

We made our way out to the muggle part of London. I understood what Draco had meant those years ago; this was a good place to get lost and forget about troubles at home. George and I walked in silence for awhile. Some people would stare at George's missing ear, but he did not seem bothered by it; he joked about it when he could. I did not crack a smile, though.

"Where's Fred?" I asked out of a need to say something.

"Back at the shop," George said. "We're trying to get things going again after everything that's happened."

"Good luck."

"Thanks." He paused. "How have you been holding up?"

"Not great," I admitted. "It's the same old story. Just when I think I've gotten used to how things are, something else hits to send me back to the dark." I shook my head and let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry," George said softly.

"I just want this war to end," I muttered.

"Same here," George said. "I've got too many family members that could get hurt. And now that Ron has run off..."

I looked at him in sympathy. I could understand where he was coming from. I would probably be going crazy too if my sibling was off doing something to defeat Voldemort. "I just want school to start," I said. Then maybe things would get better. At least, I would be around the people I needed to be near. I could come up with a plan.

George was silent for a minute. Then he said, almost hesitantly, "Crystal, what were you doing on the astronomy tower the night Snape killed Dumbledore?"

I glanced at him in surprise. Had I not told anyone that? Now that I thought about it, I had explained how I had gotten there, but I had never explained _why_ I felt compelled to follow those Death Eaters up to the tower. "I – I had to be there," I said. My walking had slowed, but I did not come to a stop. "I knew Draco would be there. I had to be there for him."

George's eyes grew wide. He stopped talking and turned to face me. "Wait, you _knew_?"

"I – I didn't know he would be _there_, but I assumed when I saw the Death Eaters run up there," I said. I swallowed. "Harry knew, which is why he had the DA patrolling."

"You knew Malfoy was supposed to Kill Dumbledore?"

I looked away and shifted uncomfortably. "More or less, yes." Why was he acting like this? I did not like it.

"Why didn't you do anything? Why didn't you say anything to anyone?"

"You don't think I wanted to?" I snapped, sending him a sharp look. "It was killing me to see what was happening to him. I couldn't tell anyone anything without putting him in danger."

"So you'd rather risk Dumbledore's life?" George said, his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed. I rarely saw him like this, and it made me anxious. "Can't you get over that kid? He's no good for you."

I looked away; my eyes were watering from the memory of Draco saying something very similar to me. "You're wrong," I said almost in a whisper. "And I didn't do nothing. Snape was taking care of it..."

"He took care of it alright," George said, snorting. "Why did you trust him?"

"I _still_ trust him," I said. "I have a reason, but I can't tell you."

"Well, that's very helpful," George said. He began pacing back and forth in front of me, distress apparent in his face. "I don't understand. Why are you getting involved with these kinds of people? Are _we_ not good enough for you?"

"No, that's not it," I said. He was right about one thing; he did not understand. I was growing frustrated with the lack of trust surrounding my decision-making. "It's... complicated. I love them." I looked at him helplessly, not knowing what else to say. Love was my only defense; why wasn't that enough?

"Right," George said. He stopped pacing and turned to me, his face unusually hard. "Why don't you try loving yourself? Let them go. There are better people for you to be around."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "You don't get it."

"You don't have to go back to Hogwarts," George said, suddenly appearing anxious. "You can stay here with the rest of us. We'll take care of you. I'll get you a job, and-"

"No," I said again. "No. That won't work, George." I gazed at him sadly.

"Why not?" He seemed to be pleading with me now, and I almost felt bad. "What's wrong with me?"

I looked at him in shock, uncomprehending. "What are you talking about? There's nothing wrong with you. You're a great friend."

"That's not what I'm talking about," George said with sadness in his eyes. With a sinking feeling, I thought I understood what he was getting at. "I'm in love with you, Crystal. Doesn't _that _matter?"

I was too stunned to answer tight away. Part of me thought I should have seen this coming, but like with Ginny and Harry, I had been too distracted and oblivious to notice. I racked my brain to figure out if I had done anything to lead him on. "I – I'm sorry, George," I said once I found my voice. I swallowed; my throat had gone dry. "It does matter, but I – I-"

"You don't feel the same way?" George said with raised eyebrows. He took a step into my personal space, causing me to shiver. "Are you sure about that? You don't still feel _anything_?" And before I could stop him, he was kissing me.

At first I was too shocked to respond, but then my instincts took over and I kissed him back, if only to humor him. George had _never_ kissed me like this before. It felt... good. Was he right? Had I been ignoring my own feelings as well? It was apparent that there was _something_ still there.

I saw a different path open to me. I _could_ be happy with George, I realized. We were closer than we had ever been before, and we had both grown more mature. It _could_ work. I loved him, and that would be enough. It would be so _easy_. I could let go of all the stress and pain and just move on. I could end the nightmare now. I saw a bright future if I would only choose it.

And yet...

That was not the choice my heart was telling me to make. I could not forget about Draco. I could not give up on him now. I had made my choice a long time ago; I was in too deep to back out now. Indulging my mind with fantasies of what could have been would do me no good. I knew the path I had to take. I knew where love was pulling me, and it was not towards George, even if a part of me wished that it would. A life with George was for someone in a different world, not mine.

We pulled away at the same time. George remained close to me, his hands lightly on my arms and his eyes blazing with an intensity I had never seen. "Anything?" he said softly, and I thought I detected a hint of fear in his voice.

I had to be honest with him. Perhaps only the truth would let him move on. "Yes," I said quietly. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "George, I love you and it could work, but that's not what I choose."

George dropped his arms to his side and stepped away. It hurt me to see the pain in his eyes. "Why?"

I rush of sadness and sympathy began to overwhelm me. I could not look at him any longer; I glanced at the ground. "You know why?"

"Malfoy?" George said in derision.

My mind spun trying to figure out a way to explain it that would make it okay; nothing came to mind. "I'm sorry." My voice came out choked from the way my throat had constricted. I _hated_ hurting him like this. I sucked in a sharp breath before raising my head to look at him. "It's nothing to do with you. I just – It's different with Draco. As long as there's hope-"

"Forget it," George said, turning away in anger. "I see I'm wasting my time. Come find me when you start seeing sense."

"George!" I cried as he took a step forward. Something terrible was happening to me again. I did not want to lose him; I _couldn't_.

George stopped. Then he turned around slowly, his expression unchanged. "Do you know who did _this_ to me?" he said, pointing to the hole on the side of his head where his left ear used to be.

I shook my head and swallowed hard, fearing the answer.

"Your buddy Snape," George said coldly. He dropped his hand and narrowed his eyes. "Still willing to defend _Death Eaters_?"

"There's more to it," I managed to get out. My vision was becoming blurred from the tears that wanted to fall. "He's a double agent – I promise. And Draco – he was coerced."

"Like it matters," George muttered. "Goodbye, Crystal." He turned around once again.

I thought he was going to leave me there; I gritted my teeth to keep from crying. Several seconds later, however, he swirled around and marched back to me. "I'll take you home," he said in a low voice. He took my arm and we suddenly Disapparated.

We Apparated in front of my house. Thankfully, the activity had caused my tears to disappear. "George," I started to say as I turned to him. I _had_ to make this better.

But George gave me one last miserable look before Disapparating again.

Tears filled my eyes again. This time, I did not even make it to my room. Without even looking to see if anyone was around, I collapsed face-first onto the couch. Surprisingly, few tears came. I supposed I had used all of them up.

"Crystal?" Emily's hesitant voice said.

I pushed myself up into a sitting position and wiped my eyes with my arm. "Yes?"

"Is everything alright?" my sister asked, casting me a sympathetic look.

"No," I said sadly. I let out a short, heavy sigh. "It's George. I feel like I've let him down... He still likes me. I – I don't know how to stop hurting people. I don't know how to fix this."

Emily bit her lip before replying. "Maybe there's nothing you can do. People get hurt. That's life."

"This war needs to end," I said. "That will make things better."

Emily shrugged. "Maybe. I don't think that will change how George feels."

She left me pondering her words. I was supposed to follow my heart, and I had done that. Did that mean there was nothing left for me to do?

***

The next few days resembled those at the beginning of summer. I could find nothing useful to occupy my time. I thought briefly about going over to see Ginny, but I did not want t risk running into any other Weasley.

It was Wednesday afternoon, and I was sitting on my bed stroking Snowflake. There was a knock on my door. I looked up, but I did not say a word.

I was surprised when Fred was the one who entered. "Hello, mate," he said with a small smile. "George would like to talk to you."

I frowned. "Why doesn't he say so himself?"

George's head popped out from behind Fred. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. "I thought you might be mad at me."

I shook my head. "No." Maybe I had been at one point, but it had faded.

George seemed relieved to hear it. He stepped fully into the room, passing Fred.

"I'll leave you two," Fred said, clasping his twin on the shoulder before exiting the room, closing the door behind him.

I stopped petting Snowflake so that I could focus on George. "What do you want to talk about?" I asked in a calm manor. I hid my wariness that he was going to lash out at me again; I had to give him the benefit of the doubt.

George was looking around the room nervously; he seemed apprehensive. "I just wanted to apologize for the other day," he said. His eyes finally found mine, and he gazed at me steadily. "I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. I just..."

"I know," I said when he trailed off. I stood up and took several steps toward him. "It's a tough issue, and I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I know you didn't mean to," George said. "I did need answers, though, so... thank you."

I gazed at him in sympathy. Emily was right; there was nothing I could do for him except be his friend. "George, even if I wanted what you want, now would not be a good time. There's just too much going on, too much I still have to do. I need to be at Hogwarts right now. I have unfinished business."

George nodded. "I understand." I could still see sadness in his eyes, but I could tell he was trying to be brave, which I appreciated.

"But you're still going to write to me, right?" I said anxiously. "I just – I don't want to lose you. Your friendship means a lot time." And I didn't have many people who would stand by me no matter what. I needed him in ways I was reluctant to admit.

"Of course I'll right," George said. "Our friendship means a lot to me too." He reached his hand up like he was going to touch, but then he seemed to think better of it and dropped it. "I'll be whatever you need me to be."

A small smile formed on my face; I was relieved the situation seemed to have resolved itself. "Thank you." Without thinking, I stepped forward and hugged him. I could not help it; maybe it was selfish, but I needed the physical contact.

George hugged me back tightly. There seemed to be emotion exchanged between us that neither of us could put into words. After a minute, George broke away and stepped back. He coughed awkwardly. "So, uh, do you want to get Fred and do something? The three of us?"

I smiled at the idea. "Yes. That sounds great." 


	63. The Return

September first did not come quickly enough. I was relieved when I woke up that morning. I was still not sure what was going to happen, but it had to be better than my current life. I got ready and then headed downstairs for breakfast. My family was already seated, eating cereal and drinking coffee (a habit developed in America).

"Crystal, you should look at the paper," Emily said, pushing the _Daily Prophet _to the edge of the table.

"I don't want to," I said. "I've heard enough bad news already." I did not want to hear about anything else the Death Eaters had done.

"No, you _really_ need to read it," Emily said.

I sighed and walked over so that I could pick up the paper. I was surprised to see a picture of Snape staring up at me beneath this headline:

SEVERUS SNAPE CONFIRMED

AS HOGWARTS HEADMASTER

My eyes grew wide. I quickly scanned the article:

Severus Snape, long-standing Potions master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and wizardry, was today appointed headmaster in the most important of several staffing changes at the ancient school. Following the resignation of the previous Muggle Studies teacher, Alecto Carrow will take over the post while her brother, Amycus, fills the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. "I welcome the opportunity to uphold our finest Wizarding traditions and values..."

"Wow," I said with some disbelief. "This is great!" I lowered the paper and noticed that my family was staring at me. They clearly thought I was insane. "No, it's goo. Snape can protect the school without Voldemort knowing because he thinks he's on his side!"

My parents exchanged looks. "Crystal, Snape is on his side," my father said.

"No, I already told you, you're _wrong_," I insisted.

"At least this means he won't be teaching," my mom said. "You won't have as much contact with him."

I frowned but kept silent. I would be having as much contact with him as I wished.

"The Carrows are Death Eaters as well," my dad said. "Be wary of them. I would not be surprise if there is little 'defense' in Defense Against the Dark Arts this year."

I was troubled by his words. Death Eaters? This was not going to be good. I wondered if I had seen them before. More importantly, had they ever seen me?

***

We traveled to King's Cross with the Weasley's, which consisted of Ginny and her parents along with George and Fred. We separated into our families to say goodbye once we reached the platform. "Take care of yourselves," my dad said to my sisters and me. "Try to stick together when you can."

"I know," Emily said. "We'll be fine."

"Write to us if you have any problems," said my mom.

"Ok," Emily agreed.

"Crystal," Dad said, "don't get into trouble."

I frowned at this command. "Define 'trouble.'"

Dad gave me a hard look. "You know what I mean. It's your last year; make the best of it."

The five of us hugged each other. I turned and saw that Ginny was ready to leave. There was one more thing I had to do, though. I stepped up to the twins, giving them a small smile. "Goodbye," I said. I hugged Fred first and then George; George held on a few seconds longer before letting me go. I could see the worry in his eyes, and I tried to find a way to reassure him. "I'll be fine."

"Right," George said with a weak smile.

I looked over both of the twins; my eyes drifted to the side of George's head. They were no longer identical... no longer able to have fun fooling others... I shook the thoughts from my head. I had bigger problems to worry about. My eyes lingered on George for a second longer before I forced myself to turn around and walk with Ginny in the direction of the train. "What?" I said when Ginny gave me a look, her eyebrows raised.

"Do you want to talk?" she said, glancing back at George.

I frowned in understanding. "It's not my fault," I said defensively. "He brought it up. He almost ruined everything."

Ginny gave me an odd look. "I was not blaming you."

I relaxed when I realized she was right. "Oh. Sorry. No, I don't want to talk about it."

Ginny did not press the issue. The two of us traveled down the aisle of the train. Finally, we found a compartment occupied only by Luna and Neville. "Hello," Ginny said as we entered.

"Hello, you two," Neville said, seeming happy to see us. Ginny sat next to him while I took a seat next to Luna. "This year is going to be a struggle. With Snape as headmaster and those two Death Eaters teaching..."

"Well, the Death Eaters are a problem," I said, "but it's good that Snape is back."

Neville and Ginny gave me looks similar to those my family gave me that morning. "You can't be serious," Neville said. "He killed Dumbledore!"

"You need to question your assumptions," I said calmly. Maybe if we talked about this rationally, I could get them to listen to me. I turned to Luna. "That's how you think logically, right?"

"Yes, that is important," Luna said. "You would be surprised at how much most people take for granted."

Ginny raised her eyebrows, not looking convinced. "Alright then, what assumptions are we making?"

"You are jumping from the fact that Snape killed Dumbledore to the conclusion that he is on the side of the Death Eaters," I said.

"What other option is here?" Neville asked.

"Plenty," I said. "You cannot _assume_ that act means something bad, especially if it conflicts with other information. Dumbledore had a surefire reason for trusting him, as do I. Assumptions based on that fact would lead to the conclusion that Snape must have somehow been following Dumbledore's orders."

Neville and Ginny exchanged glances. "We're supposed to trust him based on _that_?" Neville said.

"You need to decide for yourself whether to trust him," I said. "Just keep your options open; that is what I am saying."

"You're right, Crystal," Luna said. "You have an enlightening point."

I smiled slightly at her. "Thank you, Luna." At least _someone_ was listening to me. We were interrupted by the snack trolley, and I was glad for it. We did not discuss the topic for the remainder of the ride.

*

I led the way off the train when we stopped at Hogsmeade Station. By this time, I was tired and did not feel much like talking to my friends. However, I did stop when we arrived at the carriages, which thestrals pulled. I had never been able to see them perform this task. The reality of the situation waved heavily on my heart.

"You can see them, can't you?" Ginny said from beside me.

"So can I," Neville said.

"Me as well," Luna said form my other side. She glanced at me. "Is this your first time?"

I nodded. "I was at the tower when Dumbledore died..."

Ginny placed a hand on my shoulder. "Let's go then."

I was grateful for the interruption in the conversation. I was silent throughout the trip to Hogwarts. I immediately scanned the room upon entering the Great Hall. Then I saw him. Severus Snape was up at the front with the other teachers; he was sitting in Dumbledore's seat. I was too far away to his expression. I could hear people murmuring all around, and several Gryffindors shot him hateful looks.

What caused me to freeze, though, were the two new teachers situated on Snape's left and right. With horror, I realized that the Carrows were two of the Death Eaters that were with my atop the astronomy tower. A hiver involuntarily made its way down my spine. Would they recognize me? Would they wonder what I had been doing that night?

"Is something wrong?" Ginny asked in concern.

I shook my head. "I'm fine." The two of us sat down together at the Gryffindor table. I tried to act like I was fine, but my heart was pounding. I would have to come up with some sort of explanation. Maybe Snape told them something, I realized. I needed to talk to him as soon as possible.

I did not have much of an appetite, but I forced myself to eat because I did not want to worry my friends. I was not even able to pay attention to Snape's short speech, which I was sure he did not mean. He said something about being obedient and orderly so we would not get hurt. I wondered what exactly the Carrows had in store for us. I was not taking Muggle Studies, but I felt sorry for those who were. I could imagine what horrible things a Death Eater would say about muggles. Still, Defense Against the Dark Arts was bound to be a nightmare.

I purposefully lost myself in the crowd on the way out of the Great Hall; I did not want my friends to wonder what I was doing. I kept my eye on Snape as he exited. I knew where he was going, but I did not have the password to his new office. I could just see the tail of his robes disappearing behind a corner when someone blocked me from entering the hallway.

I was surprised to see Draco standing before me. His arms were crossed, and he had a hard expression on his face. "What do you think you're doing?" he said in an unfriendly voice.

I stood there for a minute with my mouth hanging partly open, too stunned to speak. Part of me wanted to talk to him, to say _something_ after all those months of absence. But then I remembered my current goal. "I need to talk to Professor Snape," I said. "It's urgent."

"He does not want to talk to you," Draco said bluntly.

I frowned. "I don't believe you." Why was he doing this? Did he _want_ me to lose my mind? Or did he still think he was protecting me?

"That's not my problem," Draco said without softening his tone. "It's his orders."

Now I felt irritated. Didn't Snape know I needed to see him? Did he think I could just move on and acted like nothing had happened? Well, I supposed it was possible; Draco had had the same thinking, after all. "Ignore his orders; this is important. He won't mind."

Draco shook his head.

I held in a frustrated sigh. "Come on, you know he likes me. Nothing bad is going to happen. Please let me through?"

"No," Draco said stubbornly, his fierce eyes locked into mine.

I paused to think about the situation. I could try to force my way past him; I knew he would not risk hurting me. Perhaps there was an easier way, though. I glanced to the left; the last of the students were exiting the Great Hall, and no one was paying attention to us. "Fine," I said. I took out my wand. Draco tensed, but he did not do anything. Then I took a deep breath and said, "Expecto Patronum." My eagle emerged from the tip of my wand. I kept it there while I transmitted a message to it: _I need to talk to you._

The eagle flew past Draco down the hall. Draco looked startled.

"We'll see if he wants to talk to me," I said with a shrug.

Draco frowned but did not say anything.

A minute later, footsteps could be heard coming from the hallway where the Patronus had disappeared. I let out a sigh of relief upon the appearance of Snape. I gave him a weak smile, which he did not return. "What is it, Miss Hansen?" he said coldly.

I felt a wave of irritation roll over me. Not this again; I would not stand for it. "Did you tell him to stop me from going to you?" I asked with a quick glance at Draco.

"Yes," Snape said.

I gritted my teeth. "I need to talk to you. Please. It doesn't have to be now; just whenever you're free..." I gave him a pleading look.

Snape seemed to almost hesitate before saying, "Very well. Meet me in my office tomorrow night at seven. I will owl you the password."

I let out a breath I had not realized I had been holding. "Thank you."

"Draco," Snape said, turning to the boy, "walk her back to her common room."

Draco seemed startled by the command. "What? Why?"

"You are a prefect," Snape said, "she will not get into trouble if she is with you. It will seem less out of place if you take her rather than me."

Draco looked like he wanted to argue, but instead he just said, "Fine. Let's go." He started forward without even looking at me.

I gave Snape one last smile before following Draco down the hall. I caught up to him, and we walked together in tense silence. Finally, I could not take it. "Any chance you and I could talk?" I asked.

"No," Draco said in a tone that suggested the idea was not up for debate.

I decided to argue anyway. "I just thought that, since things are different now, we might want to discuss our situation again."

"There's nothing to discuss."

I frowned. "I think there is. No one is being directly threatened anymore, right? Maybe I could-"

"No," Draco repeated. "It's still too dangerous."

"Don't I have a say in this?"

Draco looked at him. His tough demeanor had melted into a mixture of weariness and sorrow. "Why can't you just move on?"

"Because I love you."

Draco winced; he seemed to have been struck in pain. Then he looked away, his head lowered.

"I'm not going to give up," I said softly. "I'll do whatever it takes, use whatever means." I paused. "But fighting you is a waste of energy. We're better when we're together."

Draco lifted his head and looked at me again. I could see pain and torment in his eyes, and it took all of my will to not reach out and hug him. "I wish you were right," he murmured.

We arrived at Gryffindor Tower. I was not ready to leave Draco. I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could, the common room door opened and out stepped Ginny. She looked form Draco to me in surprise. "Crystal," she said, "I was just going to look for you since you don't know the password. Is everything alright?"

Shoot, the password. Good thing I had such a thoughtful friend. "Everything's fine," I said. I glanced at Draco. "He was just walking me back."

Ginny nodded, but she did not seem entirely certain. "Oh, ok."

"You shouldn't go tomorrow night," Draco said. "You should stay out of this."

"You should go talk to him," I countered. He looked surprised at this. "Get to know him. You may find you have a lot more in common than shared House qualities."

Draco frowned, seeming to think this over. He turned. "Good night."

"Good night, Draco," I said with a smile that could not be helped. I had been able to spend a little time with him, and that made me happy.

Ginny opened the door, and I followed her inside the common room. "What was that about?" she asked.

"I'm going to talk to Snape tomorrow," I said. "Draco doesn't want me too. I bet he believes the lie like everyone else."

"Crystal," Ginny began with a frown.

I shook my head and cut her off. "You don't believe me, I know. Trust me. Everything is going to be fine."

Ginny sighed. "For your sake, I hope you're right."

I smiled slightly as I looked back at her while making my way to the stairs. "Thanks."

"Good night, Crystal."

"Good night." 


	64. Restoration

It felt weird not having Hermione in my dorm. The other girls mostly ignored me; I was not up to their standards. After feeding Snowflake, I headed down to the common room. I saw Ginny waiting for me. I attempted to give her a smile, but I think I failed at it. "Hey," I said.

"Good morning," Ginny said. "Did you sleep well?"

I shook my head. "There were no nightmares at least."

Ginny's eyes widened. "Have you had them often?"

"I did last year," I said. "Over the summer, I was too numb most of the time to feel much of anything."

Ginny frowned but did not say more. Together, we left for the Great Hall. I found myself apprehensive about what was to come. I glanced up at the teacher's table once it came into view. Everything was going to be fine, right?

"What's the matter with you?" Ginny asked as we sat down together.

I hesitated and then decided it was safe to tell her. "The Carrows were on top of the astronomy tower the night Dumbledore died. I'm afraid they might recognize me and wonder what I was doing."

"What _were_ you doing?" Ginny asked with raised eyebrows.

"I was – I just – Draco," I said. "I had to see Draco. I can't tell them that though."

Ginny seemed to be thinking about this. "I'm sure you'll be fine," she said after a minute. "They might not remember you, and if you do, you can just say you were disoriented and confused from the battle. It's not like they're going to treat you any worse than those of us who were actually fighting against them."

I shrugged. "I guess so." I looked down at my food and moved it around with my fork. I forced myself to eat something to keep up my energy.

Soon, Professor McGonagall was walking along the table handing out timetables. "Crystal Hansen," she said when she got to me, and she handed me a schedule.

I quickly looked over my list of classes. I had Potions first. Nice. But my first class on Tuesday stared at me like an ugly pimple: Dark Arts. "Professor," I said, looking up at her anxiously.

McGonagall looked down at me sadly, understanding flashing in her eyes. "I know," she said softly. "I'm sorry." She moved on to the next student.

I exchanged a look with Ginny. "Well, this will be fun," I said.

"Maybe we should get the DA back up and running," Ginny whispered in my ear as we stood up.

I did not answer her. That was probably a good idea for everyone else, but I did not know if it would be the wisest thing for me to join. I still had to work out a strategy for this year.

We parted ways in the Entrance Hall; I made my way for the dungeons. I could see a line forming outside of the classroom, with Ernie at the back. "Hey," I said to the Hufflepuff once I reached him. "How's it going?"

Ernie shrugged. "Could be worse. How was your summer?"

"Exciting," I said. "I got attacked by Death Eaters while trying to get Harry to safety. Then Death Eaters attacked during Bill Weasley and Fleur's wedding, which I attended with my family. We all got out ok, though."

"Wow," Ernie said with wide eyes. "That does sound like a lot of excitement. I had a minor encounter with some Death Eater who was trying to recruit my parents." He rolled his eyes. "They didn't buy their pureblood supremacy nonsense. It's all a ploy to gain followers anyway."

I smiled at Ernie, remembering that he was a pureblood. "Right on." At least some were able to see past the trickery.

Soon enough, Slughorn came walking down the hall. "Good morning class," he said as he reached the door; he opened it, and everyone flooded in.

The four Slytherins and four Ravenclaws were still in the class, and the two groups took the same tables. I looked almost regretfully upon the table where the Gryffindors used to sit. I exchanged a glance with Ernie before we headed to the table together. The table felt empty as we sat across from each other. At least this meant I would be able to impress Slughorn without Harry interfering.

My mind drifted to the meeting I had with Snape that night. I wondered if he would listen to me. Surely he would be easier to convince than Draco. I just had to get the former on my side, and then maybe he could help me with the latter. With a bit of luck, maybe this could work. Luck. I got an idea, and I stored it away for later use.

I easily completed the potion that was assigned, and I had time to help Ernie with his. I smiled to myself when Slughorn praised my work. I decided to stay and talk to him, so I told Ernie to go on when the class was released.

"Marvelous work, Miss Hansen," Slughorn said as he walked back to his desk. He paused as he glanced at me. "Did you need something?"

"Well, I was just wondering, do you have any more Felix Felicis?"

Slughorn seemed surprised at the request. "No. I am sorry, Miss Hansen, but I do not."

I had expected this answer; there was one more thing I could try. "Would you let me make it?"

"It's a very difficult potion," Slughorn began uncertainly.

"Yes, but I'm the best in the class," I said. "I know I can do it."

Slughorn seemed to be internally debating something. Finally, he said, "You may be right, but I'm afraid it is against the rules. The headmaster would not like it."

"Right," I said, hiding my disappointment. Of course, I could always ask the headmaster himself... "Thanks anyway." I turned to leave.

"Miss Hansen?" Slughorn said, suddenly seeming anxious. "Harry Potter, do you know if he-"

"He's safe as far as I know," I said.

Slughorn nodded. "Oh. Good. Have a nice day Miss Hansen."

"You too, professor."

*

Care of Magical Creatures was my last class of the day. Hagrid also inquired about Harry, Ron, and Hermione. After addressing his concerns, I told him about meeting Charlie. He seemed very pleased as he boasted about his former student. I left the class feeling slightly better than before.

I ate dinner alone; I did not want to risk anyone asking where I would be going afterwards. I did not have any homework to worry about yet. I left as soon as I could, and I roamed the halls alone until it was time for my meeting.

It felt weird to meet Snape in what used to be Dumbledore's office. The room looked the same as I remembered it, except there was no phoenix and there was a painting of Dumbledore, who appeared to be sleeping.

"Good evening, Miss Hansen," Snape said as he rose to greet me.

"Good evening, sir."

He stopped when he was a couple of feet away from me. "What is it you wished to discuss?" His dark eyes pierced mine.

"I was, I just-" I fumbled for the right words. He was giving me nothing to work with! "I was wondering if we could meet this year again. Maybe you can continue to teach me."

"I'm sorry, Miss Hansen," Snape said curtly "but that will not be possible. I am much too busy."

I clenched my teeth in frustration. "Please, can't you make time? I need to learn defensive magic, and I'm not going to be getting it from class. And – and I'd miss you." I was aware of my vulnerability as I gazed at him sadly.

Snape seemed a bit taken back, but he quickly regained his composer. "Again, I am sorry. I do not think it is wise that we interact."

I felt a flash of anger at his cool demeanor. "So you're just going to leave me like Draco did?"

Snape raised his eyebrows in slight surprise. "He is trying to-"

"Protect me, right," I said. "Has it ever occurred to either of you that I do not _want_ to be protected? If my personal safety was my greatest concern, do you think I would be here? I could have agreed to go back to America with my family."

Snape turned away from me. "You should have left when you had the chance."

I let out a frustrated groan. Why did guys have to be so stubborn? "I'm aware of the risks. Half my friends probably don't even trust me because I've been defending you all summer."

"Then you should stop," Snape said without looking at me. "Go to your friends. Learn to survive with them."

"But I want to survive with _you_," I said, exasperated. He still did not get it. Neither he nor Draco got it. "_We_ are friends, aren't we? I love you." I felt helpless as I stared at him, unable to make him understand how deeply personal this was.

Snape seemed almost shocked at my words. This time, he did not cover it up. "I – I do not deserve that, Miss Hansen." He turned away from me again, his head lowered and his hair covering his face. "I do not deserve your friendship."

"Deser-" I started to say in question, and then it hit me. Maybe I had not fully understood either. Deserve... He was accepting the culture of retribution that seemed to permeate this world; the culture of retribution that I had explicitly _rejected_. I knew the destruction it could cause, the lives that could be lost to it.

Was this why he would not let anyone get close to him? Did he think he _deserved_ to be alone for retribution of past sins? And what of Draco? Had he fallen prey to this kind of thinking as well? I remembered something he had said when we were in the Hospital Wing together. He had lied to me in part because he could not understand how I could love him. He thought I was better off without him. It seemed like I had underestimated the hold this thinking had on him.

Both he and Snape may have rejected their old ways of behaving, but they had held onto their old ways of thinking. After all, those on my side thought that way as well. Draco has said he was having trouble with shame and guilt because of what I had shown him. I saw now that if he did not believe in restoration, then those feelings could lead to self-hatred and condemnation. I knew I _had_ to get through to him now. He would not be able to survive this on his own; he needed someone to show him the way out of the darkness. He needed to know forgiveness and choose redemption.

Right now, however, I needed to help Snape. He was still not looking at me, so I took a deep breath and advanced toward him. "Severus," I began when I was standing right in front of him, taking the risk of calling him by his first name; I felt like it was the right thing to do.

He lifted to head to meet my gaze. The barrier he had put up had broken down; there was anguish and torment apparent on his face.

I kept my eyes locked on his as I reached out my right hand; he did not try to stop me. I took hold of his left hand and held it up so that his arm was straight. Then I slowly pulled back his sleeve with my free arm. When he still did nothing, I flicked my eyes down to his arm. The Dark Mark stared up at me, taunting me, yet I remained calm.

"Hideous, isn't it?" he said.

"Yes," I said in agreement. I looked at him again. "But _you_ are not." I saw surprise and confusion in his eyes. I returned my gaze to his arm. I placed my left hand directly over the Dark Mark and kept it there. "I don't care what you've done in the past." I turned to gaze at him steadily. "It's what you do in the future that matters. You can't make up for all that you did, but you can choose to make better choices in the future. Forgive yourself so that you will be free to move on."

His look was one of astonishment. "Crystal-" He did not finish.

"Retribution and condemnation, anger and hatred, they cause more pain and violence than they prevent. No one wins when the point of justice is destruction." I let go of his arm and took a step back; his dropped his arm, letting his sleeve cover it once more. "Only love, compassion, and forgiveness can restore the harm done and heal what has been broken."

I fumbled in my pocket for something. I pulled out the vile of Phoenix tears I now always kept with me and held it out to him. "Do you know what this is? Phoenix tears. Dumbledore left them for me in his will. Why do you think that is?"

Snape averted his gaze.

"I did not understand then, but I think I do now. He saw something in me that no one else ever has. The power to heal wounds, even those that are fatal..." I touched his arm with my left hand, causing him to look at me once again. "Severus, you don't know how much you did for me last year. I do not know if I would have gotten through without you. I need you _now_ too, and I believe you need me as well."

"How did you-" he started to say. "No one ever- Where did you come from?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I know I think differently from most others. It's a gift... or a curse. I fear it'll cause many people to turn against me. But I _choose_ it. My type of thinking isn't common even in America, but _choice_ is very important there. At least, it used to be..."

"I don't know if I can protect you," he said.

"You don't have to," I said. "Just be my friend. That's all I ask."

"I – I would like that very much," Snape said.

My face instantly broke into a grin. I filled the space between us by hugging him tightly. This time, he hugged me back with just as much emotion. Somehow, I felt like everything was going to work out. I had him on my side. We could get Draco later. We would be a team.

"So, lessons?" I said as I pulled back from him.

He nodded. "We can resume meeting at seven on Thursdays. I will make time for you."

I smiled at him warmly. "Thank you."

"No, thank you. For everything."

"Of course." There had been a reason Dumbledore had told me to stay with him, and now I understood. Something else flickered in my mind a second later. "Oh, I have to talk to you about something. "Amycus Carrow – he saw me at the astronomy tower. I believe he was the one who questioned my presence. Will he recognize me?"

Snape hesitated; he seemed to be thinking back. "It is possible. He questioned me about you afterward, and I told him you were an exceptional student I had been working with but I did not know your true allegiance. It is your choice as to what you will have him believe."

I smiled slightly upon hearing this. It was good news, indeed; it meant I was the one in control. "Ok, thanks." I paused. "I'll see you on Thursday then, professor."

He shook his head. "We're friends. Call me Severus."


	65. Finding a Rythym

"What are you so happy about?" Ginny asked at breakfast the next morning.  
  
I blinked. I realized I had been smiling; it was too hard to try to hide it, so I just shrugged. "Do I need a reason to be happy?"  
  
Ginny stared at me. "You've been depressed since last summer. Have you made up with Draco?"  
  
_This_ caused me to frown. "No," I said regretfully.  
  
Ginny eyed me thoughtfully. "You did not actually talk to Snape, did you?"  
  
"Yes, I did," I replied. The smile returned.  
  
Ginny, however, looked horrified. "_Crystal_! He is _not_ a good friend for you."  
  
"You're wrong," I said. "We're obviously not going to come to an agreement about this issue, so let's just let it go."  
  
"I just don't want you to end up hurt."  
  
My expression softened as I looked at her. "I know. I'll be fine." I stood up and slung my bag over my shoulder. "Well, this will be interesting."  
  
Ginny raised her eyebrows. "What?"  
  
"Dark Arts," I said.  
  
"Good luck," Ginny said, offering me a sympathetic smile.  
  
I nodded. "Thanks." I was not exactly sure what was going to happen, but I was ready for anything.  
  
The room was even more dark and uninviting than the previous year. I tried not to look at anything as I took a seat in the back next to Neville. The same students who had filled the room last year were there now; it was probably a requirement for those who passed their OWLS to take this class.  
  
"Hello, Crystal," Neville said in a low voice.  
  
I glanced at him. "Hey." I did not dare say anything more. I stared at my desk until I heard Amycus Carrow's voice:  
  
"The Dark Arts are essential for survival in this world." His voice was deep and harsh. I looked up and saw him pacing back in forth at the front of the room. "There is no place for the weak. You must learn to attempt. I will give you the skills you need."  
  
"Aren't we going to learn how to defend ourselves?" a Ravenclaw girl asked.  
  
Carrow looked at her sharply. "If you do as you are told, you will have no need. The best defense is a strong offense."  
  
"I think the saying is 'the best offense is a strong defense,'" I said without realizing I had spoken. I could not help it; he was messing up a perfectly good sports quote!  
  
Carrow turned to me with narrowed eyes. "Who are you?"  
  
"Crystal Hansen," I said suddenly feeling uncomfortably. I saw Draco shoot me an angry look, but I just looked away.  
  
Carrow strolled down the aisle until he was standing in front of my table. "Ah, I thought you looked familiar. You were on the tower during the battle at the end of last year, weren't you?"  
  
Neville looked at me in surprise; obviously, he had not been aware of this particular fact. "What were you doing there?" he asked.  
"Yes, what were you doing?" Carrow repeated.  
  
I clutched the edges of my chair with my hands as I tried to think of a good response. Why had I not planned better? "I was... curious," I finally said in a surprisingly calm voice.  
  
"A Gryffindor?" Carrow said, sounding slightly surprised.  
  
I crossed my arms and shrugged. Somehow, I was able to look up at him without any fear. "I'm not your typical Gryffindor. I see things... differently than everyone else. Just ask anyone here." I saw a few nods and murmurs of agreement. "I like to keep my options open." I hoped this was vague enough to work for my purposes.  
  
Carrow quirked an eyebrow. "I see. You will do fine in this class. It will give you a chance to prove yourself." With that, he turned around and strode back to the front of the classroom.  
  
I focused straight ahead. I did not want to see the look I felt Neville giving me; I knew it was one of disappointment.  
  
I tried to get out of there quickly at the end of class, but Neville caught up with me. "What was that all about?" he asked. "I thought you were on _our_ side."  
  
I shrugged. "I'm just trying to survive."  
  
"Did they teach you that?" Neville nodded at several Slytherin students who passed us.  
  
I frowned. "Maybe. But it's not self-interested; I'm doing it for the sake of others."  
  
Neville opened his mouth to reply, but before nay words came out, Draco appeared and roughly pushed him out of the way. "Move, Longbottom," he growled.  
  
I glanced at Draco with raised eyebrows. "You know, if you want me to stick with Gryffindors, you shouldn't get rid of them when they talk to me."  
  
Draco ignored this. "Why did you pull that stunt back there?"  
  
"I'm sorry, would you prefer I rebelled and got punished?" I shook my head. "I don't know what you want."  
  
"Just _stay_ out of this," Draco said.  
  
I found myself irritated with the way he thought he could still tell me what to do. "Look, if you don't want us to be together, then you have forfeited your right to give me your opinion on the choices _I_ make. Now leave me alone." I sped up to walk past him, leaving him looking even unhappy than when he had found me. Luckily, he did not follow me. But Neville did.  
  
"What was that about?" he asked as he caught up to me.  
  
"He didn't think through the consequences of his choices," I answered. "I have, though."  
  
Neville frowned. We were nearing the doors that led outside. "What _were_ you doing on the astronomy tower?"  
  
"It's a long story," I said, "and I don't feel like telling you."  
  
"Come on," Neville said. "I thought we were friends."  
  
I held the door open for him as we made our way out into the daylight. "Yes, but this is personal. Stop bugging me." I was grateful that Herbology would be starting soon, even though it was my least favorite class. "Why am I even taking this class?" I muttered as I found a spot.  
  
"It can be helpful for potions," Neville replied.  
  
I did not reply. I liked him, but eight now, I wished he would just leave me alone.  
  
***

The next couple of days passed fairly well, considering the circumstances. I felt guilty about not being completely honest with Ginny about what was going on, but I saw no other way if she would not believe me. By the time Thursday night approached, I had a couple of questions that needed to be addressed.  
  
I made sure no one was watching me before speaking the password to the gargoyle; the statue moved, revealing the stairs that led to the headmaster's room. I was calm as I ascended them, though my questions weighed heavily on my mind.  
  
Severus Snape was waiting for me; he walked forward to greet me. "Good evening, Crystal."  
  
I smiled at him. "Good evening, Severus."  
  
"Is there anything you wish to discuss before we begin?"  
  
"Yes, actually," I said. "I have a couple of questions, if that's alright."  
  
Severus nodded. "Proceed."  
  
"The night Harry was moved-" I said. I was suddenly unsure how to phrase the question. "I was there. And George Weasley – he got hit. His ear was sliced off, and he said you were the one who did it."  
  
I saw a flash of regret in his eyes. "I am sorry; that was not my intent. The curse was aimed at a Death Eater who was about to strike Remus Lupin while his back was turned." Now I could see something like annoyance on his face.  
  
My eyes widened in understanding and surprised. "Oh." That was something completely different. He had been trying to _help_ us... Something else then came to my mind. "How did – how did they know that was the night?"  
  
Severus hesitated. "I told them," he said slowly. "It was Dumbledore's orders. He wanted to give the Dark Lord another reason to trust me." He paused. "However, I did feed Mundungus Fletcher the idea of using Harry Potter decoys."  
  
I nodded. "Oh. Brilliant. I have one more question..." I sucked in a deep breath; this was the big one. "Why – why did Dumbledore ask you to – to step in for Draco?"  
  
Severus stared at me for a minute before responding, his face unreadable. "He was dying," he said at last.  
  
"What?" I said, surprised.  
  
"Did you see his hand? He was cursed, and it was spreading. If he was going to die, he wanted to use it to his advantaging by giving me an opportunity to prove my loyalty to the Dark Lord."  
  
"Ok," I said, nodding. I could understand that reasoning. Still, it was a terrible thing to ask of someone.  
  
"He also wanted to save Draco," Severus continued. "He was afraid of the effect murder would have on his soul."  
  
"I was too," I said. I was silent as I thought about this new revelation. "You should tell Draco. I think it would help him." He needed to know that someone had been looking out for him; he needed to know he had a _choice_.  
  
"That would mean revealing my true allegiance," Severus said, apparently disliking the idea.  
  
"Then do it," I said. "It would help him understand why I'm still talking to you. And – and maybe you can tell him that he should come back to me."  
  
"And why should I do that?" Severus said, his expression hard. "You will just be putting yourself into more danger than is necessary. Hasn't anyone ever told you not to play with fire?"  
  
"But I feel like I'm in more danger right now," I said earnestly. "We're both so worried about the other that it's eating up our energy. We would be much stronger if we were together."  
  
Severus shook his head. "No. I cannot allow it."  
  
"Please?" I desperately searched his face for any sign of weakness. "Do it for love."  
  
"Your love will destroy you," Severus said.  
  
"NO!" I shouted. He seemed surprised at my outburst; I was panting from it. "That's _wrong_. It _has_ to be; I've always felt it. Love does not destroy; it heals. It does not cause violence or harm; hate does that. Love doesn't make you weaker; it makes you stronger. Love was what saved Harry from death. Love is what caused you to turn to the good side. Can't you see? Love is everything good and nothing bad. If something bad does happen, it will not be because of love. Love is the most powerful weapon in the world. Let me use it."  
  
We stood there staring at each other. I was still breathing heavily, but I was gradually getting better. Finally, Severus dipped his head and said, "You're right. I am sorry for my mistake." He lifted his head. "I will talk to Draco, but he will not come easily."  
  
"I need luck," I said. "After you talk to him, I think I can convince him if I just had a bit of luck. Could you help me make Felix Felicis?"  
  
Severus raised his eyebrows. "That is a very difficult potion."  
  
"I know," I said. "With you watching me, I'll get it right."  
  
"Fine," Severus said. "As you wish. We will begin next week."  
  
I felt relief wash over me. "Thank you."  
  
*** 

I sent George a letter on Saturday to let him know how everything was going. That same day I noticed a bulletin in the common room. It said that seventh year students had appointments with their heads of house to talk about graduation and careers. My time was two on Monday.

  
When the time came, I skipped Arithmancy and headed to Professor McGonagall's office. I knocked, and her voice told me to enter. "Good afternoon, professor," I said with a slight smile.  
  
"Good afternoon, Miss Hansen," McGonagall said. "Sit down." She appeared to be looking over some papers. When I took the seat across from the desk, she lowered them and addressed me: "Everything seems to be in order. You are set to graduate in time. Have you been working on any substantial career plans?"  
  
I shifted in my seat. "Uh, not really. I've been too focused on surviving the near future that the distant future has hardly crossed my mind."  
  
McGonagall gave me a sympathetic look. "I understand. It has been hard for us all. However, if you will let me give you this advice, sometimes it helps to think about life after this is all over. Share your wishes and dreams with your friends. It will put your mind at ease and give you hope when you need it."  
  
I considered this advice for a minute. It did seem pretty plausible. Maybe I would try it sometime. "Ok. Thank you, professor."  
  
McGonagall nodded. "Are you still interested in pursuing potions?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess," I said. I did not know what else I would do. Politics and reformation entered my mind, but I pushed them back.  
  
"I hear you are quite excellent."  
  
A small smile formed on my face. "I had a good teacher."  
  
"Yes, we are lucky to have Professor Slughorn."  
  
"I wasn't talking about him," I said, giving her a sharp look.  
  
McGonagall seemed surprised, but then her face turned grave. "I am fully aware of Professor Snape's abilities; however, given the circumstances, I do not think it is wise for you to go seek him."  
  
"I already have," I said.  
  
"Miss Hansen-"  
  
"I met with him all last year and I was fine," I said. "You know I trust him. You are all being fooled."  
  
McGonagall sighed, weariness seeming to overtake her. "I know that is what you believe, but without any proof-"  
  
"You accept your position without any proof."  
  
McGonagall looked astonished. "Isn't murder proof enough?"  
  
"You gotta look with your mind, not your eyes," I insisted. I sighed as well. I had to come up with some way of explaining this. "It's not what is seems. You can't judge a book by its cover."  
  
"I'm judging based on actions!"  
  
Ok, bad metaphor. I decided to try something else. "Have you ever seen a picture of an iceberg? Some of the ice floats on top, but the vast majority of it is hidden under the water. You don't know all the facts of this situation; you can only see the top. I have swum down and have seen the whole iceberg."  
  
McGonagall seemed to have calmed as she gazed at me. "I hope you are right," she said softly. "Whatever your source, it better be a good one."  
  
"It is," I said confidently.  
  
"Very well, just... be careful." She still seemed uncertain; I knew she did not fully believe me.  
  
"I will," I said as I stood up. "You'll see the truth someday... hopefully." 


	66. The Fable

"How long will this take to brew?" I asked as I stared at my empty cauldron. I did not know why I had not thought to ask earlier; it was of vital importance.

"Six months," said Severus, who was standing in front of me.

I gritted my teeth. "That's too long." Who knew what could have happened by then? I needed it _now_.

"Do you still wish to make it?"

I was silent for a moment, and then I said, "Yes." If I did manage to get Draco over to my side without the potion, we would be sure to find ourselves in many dangerous situations in which luck would be very helpful.

Severus nodded. "We should begin. Start _slowly_. You do not want to make a mistake."

Right, of course. The slightest mistake could prove disastrous. I knew this was the toughest potion I had ever made; if I could complete it successfully, I felt like I could do anything.

Nearly two hours had passed by the time I completed the last of the instructions. I looked up at Severus anxiously. He had helped me throughout the process, but I still needed confirmation of the finished product.

"Excellent," Severus said, sounding impressed. "I have never had a student who has been able to do it, but you succeeded."

My heart lifted in pride, and I beamed at him. "Thank you." Now I just had to wait six months. A curiosity crossed my mind. "Hey, how does this potion work, anyway? I know it can't help you with everything."

"Correct," Severus said. "It cannot give you any abilities you do not already possess. It simply guides you and presents you with the best choice out of all your options you would always have had. It heightens your strengths and minimizes your weaknesses. It gives you an intuition about what you should be doing in order to accomplish your goals."

"Cool," I said. It sounded like a very neat potion. It would _definitely_ be coming in handy. "So, have you talked to Draco?"

"I have," Severus said. "Unfortunately, he has not changed his mind. However, he does find it acceptable that you and I are meeting."

I bit my lip. "Ok." At least that was something. I would have to find him and try to talk to him myself.

"It's getting late; you should be off to bed. Good night, Crystal."

I gave him a small smile. "Good night, Severus."

***

I received a response from George on Friday morning. Everything was fine back in London, at least, as fine as things could be considering the circumstances. It was always good that no one was hurt. The Ministry was inspecting all muggle-borns and confiscating their wands. I shivered at the thought. I wrote him back quickly during my free period.

Saturday, I found myself with little to do. I did not feel like talking to my friends because I did not want them to get on my case again. Besides, Gryffindor Quidditch tryouts were going on, and I suspected everyone had gathered there. I took Snowflake and wandered around the castle with him.

The cat seemed to be enjoying himself. He would sniff out every corner and meow when he found something interesting. Some people stared at me, but I did not care.

I was surprised when he suddenly took off running. "Snowflake!" I called as I began to chase after him. I could see his white tail disappear behind a corner; I raced after him. Snowflake continued to run along the hallways. When he got near the stairs, however, he turned and leapt onto them. Except, someone's arms reached out to catch him. I skidded to a halt when I got close enough to see who it was.

Draco was stretched out at the bottom of the stairs; he was leaning against the wall on the left, and his feet touched the right wall. Snowflake lay on his stomach while he stroked her back. He looked up at me, but he said nothing. He did not look nearly as bad as he had the previous year, but he had still been better.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Getting away," Draco replied.

"From people? It's not good for you to be alone so much." It worried me; I could see his energy slowly draining away.

"You're often alone," Draco said. "Even before all this happened."

I frowned. "Yes, but I'm an introvert and you're an extrovert. I need to be alone to energize, but you need people."

"Maybe I switched." He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes.

"You can't change how your brain is wired." I sat down against the wall perpendicular to the one he was leaning against. I could not see him in this position, but it would have to work. I was being cautious; I did not know when he would flee.

"Why were you on the astronomy tower that night?" Draco asked, his voice betraying weariness.

"That's what everyone wants to know," I said. Really, couldn't they all just let it go?

"I told you to stay in Snape's office."

"And you thought I would listen?"

"You should have." I could hear frustration in his voice. "I did not want you to be there. I was afraid..."

I listened for him to say more, but he was silent. "I was afraid too," I said softly. "I didn't want to be there either."

"Then why were you?"

"It was not a rational decision!" I sat up from the wall and grit my teeth. "I – I was afraid, and that was why I _had_ to be there. I couldn't let you be alone. Nothing else in the world seemed to matter in the moment, so I acted."

I did not hear Draco say anything for awhile. I slowly relaxed and leaned back against the wall again. "Dumbledore said he wanted to help me," he finally said in a calm voice. "He said he could hide me and my family." There was a pause. "Did he mean it?"

"Yes," I said, not surprised at all about this revelation. "That's how he was. He sought to help and heal, not hurt and destroy."

"Like you?"

"Yeah. I guess so."

"I wanted to accept," Draco said after a moment's pause, "but I was afraid it was impossible. Even if the Order could help me, I did not think they would want to. And Dumbledore knew he was going to die, right? At least, that's what Snape said. What good would it have done anyway?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe he just wanted you to know that he was looking out for you... that there is a way out."

"Is there?"

"Of course. There is always hope, Draco." I could not take it any longer; I turned my body in his direction so that I could see him. He looked at me, and our faces were so close that I could have kissed him if I had wanted to. "I can help you. I can show you the way out."

"No," Draco said, his eyes locked into mine. "It's too dangerous."

"I don't care about the danger; I just care about you."

Draco turned his head away. "No," he said again; this time, his voice had an edge to it. "It won't work. It was never meant to be." He nudged Snowflake, causing him to hop onto the floor. Then he stood up and began to walk away.

"Draco," I said as I stood up as well, staring after him helplessly.

Draco stopped. I thought he was going to say something, but then he turned and disappeared down the hall.

"Meow?" said Snowflake.

"I don't know," I said with a long sigh. "Somehow, someway..."

***

I was walking along the halls by myself again the next day, trying to think of a plan, when Neville, Ginny, and Luna rushed towards me near Gryffindor tower. "Hello, guys," I said with raised eyebrows. "Is something wrong?"

"We need to talk to you," Ginny said. "In private."

I blinked. "Ok..." I was suspicious, but I let them lead me down another hall. What was going on? Were they going to confront me about my recent behavior? I could not see Luna being mad, though.

I was surprised when we arrived at the Room of Requirement. "Best be safe," Neville said. He made the door appear, and we all entered.

The interior was set up like a living room. Ok, so far so good. This did not look threatening. I plopped down on the couch and looked up at my friends. "Ok, what is it?"

"We want to revive the DA," Luna said, stepping forward. He took a seat next to me while Ginny and Neville sat together on the couch that as perpendicular to mine. "All three of us will be leading it. We want you to join us."

"Wh-what?" This I had definitely not seen coming.

"We think you would be good at it," Ginny said. "And it would be good for you."

Neville nodded. "You will brilliant in fifth year. You seem to enjoy rebelling and resisting authority. That's an American thing, isn't it?"

"Yes," I said slowly.

"You can be a normal member if you want to," Luna said.

"I – I-" I looked around at each of my friends, feeling shocked and overwhelmed. They believed in me... They wanted me to be a leader with them. I had to slow myself down out of fear that I would agree too quickly. "Wh-what would we be doing?"

"Rebelling anyway we can against Snape and the Carrows," Neville said. "We'll give them something to be mad about."

I frowned at the mention of Snape. Ginny seemed to catch this and said, "We're not going to do anything with Snape. We can agree to disagree on that, but you have to admit that the Carrows are out of control. Have you seen the way they punish deviance? It's barbaric."

"They use the Cruciatus curse along with other forms of torture," Neville said grimly.

I bit my lip. I could not blame them for wanting to do something. And Neville was right; I _did_ love rebelling against injustice. It was in my blood. I could remember my fascination as a child with the American Revolution. Even though they were ordinary muggles, I saw them as heroes. They had fought for liberty, and they had won. Learning about them had always stirred a passion deep inside me. I was drawn to the noble, courageous, and honorable. This undoubtedly played no small part in the Sorting Hat's decision to put me into Gryffindor. I had always wanted to be like those I admired. I wanted to rebel and fight for freedom. I had my chance now.

It was _so_ tempting to accept the offer. I had a chance to do what I had always dreamed of doing. My throat grew tight, and I had to clench my teeth hard to hold back tears because I knew that I would have to refuse. This adventure I had always wanted... it was not to be mine. My heart chose against it.

An idea hit me so hard that I almost could not voice it. I knew how to get my friends off my back. I knew it would work. "There is a history of rebellion in America," I began softly, staring down at my lap. "The American Revolution was historic. There were many extraordinary leaders." I looked up; I hoped I was doing a good enough job of hiding the pain. "Have any of you heard of Benedict Arnold?"

The others exchanged glanced and shook their heads.

"He was a great leader for the Americans at the beginning of the war," I said. "But he betrayed them by joining the British and fighting for them instead." My friends were starting to look uncomfortable. I had to continue before they interjected. "Now his name is synonymous with 'traitor' in America. However, when I was young, I met someone who presented a more sympathetic perspective on him. You have to take the context in consideration. Benedict Arnold believed in the cause of the Patriots; he did not _want_ to betray them. He did not join the British out of cowardice or fear or for money or power."

"Then why?" Ginny asked.

I paused. As soon as I said it, I knew I would be sealing my own fate; I would make them understand. "Love. He was in love with a British woman."

I could see it in their eyes. They had discovered the connection. They understood. I hated this. I hated telling them only half a truth, but I had to do it. It was the only way.

I tried to swallow, but my throat had gone dry. I continued in a steady voice, "I believe she was the daughter of some aristocrat in England. It was not feasible for her to join him in America. She would have likely been killed. He could not stop fighting and simply live in England because the British would kill him. For them to be together, he had to fight for the enemy." I was not sure if I was being completely accurate, but it did not matter; they did not know any better, and they would get the point.

There was silence.

Then Luna said, "Will you turn us into Snape?"

I shook my head. "You do what you have to do, but keep me out of it. I have my own mission." They did not stop me as I stood up and walked out of the room. I knew I had willingly given up something I might never have a chance to get back. I could only hope that they would understand someday when this was all over. 


	67. Worn

My Wednesday afternoons were packed. Right after lunch, I had Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology, and Dark Arts. I had two classes in the morning on top of that. By the time I arrived at my last class, I was nearly exhausted.

I was one of the last to enter the classroom. I took a seat between Seamus and Ernie in the middle of the room; I had been avoiding Neville since Sunday. I did not feel much like paying attention in this class, but I still forced myself to listen as Amycus Carrow began to speak.

"You should have a grasp on the basics," his dull voice said. "Today, we are going to put what you know into practice. First, however, we'll have two of you demonstrate for the benefit of the others. Hansen?"

My head snapped up upon hearing my name. "Huh?"

"Up here." Carrow smirked.

He wanted me to demonstrate the Dark Arts? Was he serious? I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I stood up. I had to do it. I had to keep my hover. I tried my best to control my hammering heart as I made my way to the front of the room.

Carrow nodded in approval. "Good. Now one more." He quickly scanned the class. "Draco. How about you?"

Draco froze, looking like he had been petrified. "You want me?" he said after a moment.

"Yes," Carrow growled. "Get up here now. We don't have all day."

Draco slowly stood up. He did not look at me as he walked to the other side of the front of the room.

"Good," Carrow said, seeming pleased. "Now attack each other."

"Excuse me?" Draco said.

Carrow's lips curled into a sadistic smile. "Show me your best. Don't worry about defense; focus on causing as much harm as possible. Don't worry; I'll have you fixed up when you're done. This is a chance for both of you to prove yourselves to me."

"Him?" I said, my eyes wide. If he thought we were possibly on the same side, why would he want me to attack him? "Why him?" Why not someone like a fellow Gryffindor?

"I see your concern," Carrow said, "but you have to be willing to attack anyone at any given time. Besides, you will only gain in skill by practicing against those who are similar to you. Don't hold back; this will benefit both of you."

I looked at Draco; he stared back at me calmly. Neither of us moved to reach for our wands. Part of me thought I should be afraid, but the fear would not come.

"Draco," Carrow said with an edge in his voice, "why don't you begin?"

Draco's expression hardened as he turned at look at the professor. "No," he said firmly.

"What?" Carrow said in mild shock.

"I won't attack her."

"Are you defying me?" Carrow growled, his eyes narrowed. "I gave you can order!"

"I'll fight anyone else," Draco said. "Just not her." He looked at me, and I knew he had realized what had just come to my mind; he had to choose between appearing defiant toward a Death Eater or showing that I meant something special to him.

"I said _her_," Carrow said forcefully. "You must do as I say. Are you too weak?"

Draco shook his head. "No. I _could_ do it if I wanted to, but I _won't_. Not her."

Carrow turned his cold gaze onto me. "What about you? Will you attack him? He's an easy target."

I crossed my arms and looked at him like he had told me to fly to the moon on broomstick. "Yeah, sorry, that's never going to happen."

"Defiance!" Carrow snarled. "I will not have it!" I gasped when he grabbed hold of my hair with his left hand while pointing his wand at me with his right; he faced Draco. "Attack her now or she will feel the effects of my Cruciatus Curse."

Draco appeared shocked at this turn of events. For a minute, he did not do anything, and then his eyes locked onto mine. Did he see what he had to do? Could he understand that he had more power to hurt me than Carrow ever could? His betrayal would cause far more pain that the Cruciatus Curse.

"I knew it," Carrow scoffed. "You don't have what it takes; you're just like your pathetic father."

It took all of my strength to not glare at him and leap to Draco's defense. I had to remain calm; there could still be a way out.

Draco still seemed fearful as he drew his wand. I knew everyone was waiting to see what would happen. No one was going to stop it. Draco never looked away from me as he raised his wand and said, "Expelliarmus."

Carrow gasped and let go of; I stumbled but did not fall. I looked at Draco in surprise. He had disarmed Carrow, and now the Death Eater was _really_ angry.

"Outrageous!" he exclaimed. He picked up his wand and stormed toward Draco, who's eyes were wide with fear. "How dare you use a spell against me! Don't you know your place? You need to be taught a lesson!" He lifted his wand. "Crucio!"

"NO!" I shouted out as soon as Draco had been struck; he fell to the floor and cried out in pain. "Stop! Please stop!"

Amazingly, Carrow did stop. He left Draco cowering on the floor and looked at me with raised eyebrows.

I was visibly shaken from witnessing this scene. "D-Do whatever you want with me – punish _me_ – but leave _him_ alone. Don't hurt him. Please." My breathing came in gasps as I looked at him with pleading eyes.

Carrow stared at me as if he could not believe what he was hearing. "You would sacrifice yourself for him?" he said incredulously. "Why?"

I looked down and did not respond. I heard Draco stand up, but I did not look at him. Carrow could never understand anyway. He did not understand love.

"Answer me or I will punish both of you," Carrow snarled.

"I think I can explain," said Neville.

I lifted my head and looked at him in surprise. The Gryffindor was standing up, seemingly slightly nervous. I held my breath as I waited for him to speak.

"Really?" Carrow said as if he did not believe it. "Please, enlighten us, Longbottom."

"They really aren't trying to defy you," Neville said. "You just got here; I can understand your confusion. These two here look out for each other. They're close. They would go against anyone to protect each other. In fifth year, Crystal shielded Malfoy with her body while fellow Gryffindors attacked." He shrugged; he suddenly appeared very calm and confident. "I wouldn't take it personally."

"Interesting," Carrow murmured. "Thank you for that inspiring tale, Longbottom." He swept his gaze form Draco to me. "I am afraid that I still have to ask you two to obey my commands. It's not _personal_," he smirked, "but emotional attachments can be dangerous. They can betray you. You have to be willing to attack _anyone_, including each other. Now, do as I say or you _will_ suffer the consequences."

Draco and I exchanged sad looks. Perhaps we had been saved for a moment, but it still seemed like we were doomed. Draco put his wand away and took a step back. I was not able to help myself; I ran to him and latched onto him. To my satisfaction, he put his arms around me and held onto me protectively while he glared at Carrow.

"Very well," Carrow said, shrugging nonchalantly. "If that is your choice." He lifted his wand again. I shut my yes and buried my face in Draco's chest.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said Neville in a nearly bored voice.

I opened my eyes to peer ate Gryffindor. He was standing almost lazily. What was he trying to do?

"And why not, Longbottom?" Carrow asked impatiently.

"Those two are close friends with Professor Snape," Neville replied. "I've seen Crystal go off to meet with him, and I know he likes Malfoy as well. You wouldn't want to anger the headmaster, would you?"

"You're bluffing," Carrow snarled.

"It's true," I said in a weak voice. Draco nodded.

Carrow looked at us suspiciously before turning back to Neville. "Fine. Go fetch him. We'll see if you're right."

Neville quickly darted out of the room.

I could feel the tension in the room rolling off like waves. Carrow had his wand pointed at us. No one said a word. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. I could hear Draco's heartbeat, and it made me feel better. At least we were finally together and on the same side... for now.

After what seemed like ages, the door to the room opened again. I saw Severus Snape walk in with Neville behind him. Severus' eyes swept across the scene, lingering the longest on Draco and me. Then he focused on Carrow. "What is the meaning of this, Amycus?"

"These two were questioning my authority," Carrow said, nodding at Draco and me. "That refused to obey my orders."

"I will take care of this," Severus said, sounding almost bored.

"But-" Carrow began to protest.

"You have a class to teach," Severus said icily. "Let them come with me. I will make sure they cause you no further trouble."

Carrow looked like he was going to argue, but he lowered his wand and stepped back, grumbling.

Severus glanced at Draco and me; we let go of each other and quickly followed him out of the room. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest. He had saved the day... I knew that could have gone far worse than it had.

None of us spoke as we walked through the halls. I kept close to Draco, and he did not complain. Severus did not stop until, finally, we entered his office. He turned around to face Draco and me, who were standing together, waiting for him to speak. "Explain," he said.

"He was trying to make us hurt each other!" Draco protested. "We had to refuse. What else we were supposed to do?"

"I'm not sorry either," I said, crossing my arms.

"I did not say you were in trouble," Severus said. "You must be more careful."

"I know how to prevent something like this from happening again," I said.

"How do you expect to do that?" Draco asked.

"We've got to be on the same side," I said. "That's the best chance for us to not have to come up against each other someday. You _know_ it will happen."

"_No_," Draco said forcefully. "You are not going to join my side; you _can't_, and I would be killed – or my family punished – if I tried to join your side."

"You're right," I said. "It's a good thing I have a plan."

Draco looked at me warily, his eyebrows raised. "What?"

"We've got to combine the two." Draco looked at me like I was crazy, though Severus seemed interested. "I just have to _look_ like I've joined your side. It won't be hard. When we were going out, everyone was suspicious of me anyway. I have to act like a Slytherin sympathetic to the cause."

"No," Draco said.

"I'm not finished," I said, shooting him a look. He crossed his arms angrily, but he kept quiet. "Anyway, you just can't _look_ like you've joined my side. You can keep doing what you're doing, but then it comes down to it, fight on_ my_ side."

Draco was already shaking his head. "No. It won't work. Your side would not accept me. And it's too risky. We'd be killed if we were found out."

"We don't necessarily have to fight," I said. I glanced at Severus. "You can help us escape, right? To America?"

"It it possible," Severus said slowly. "I cannot guarantee it."

"My parents too?" Draco asked skeptically.

"Possibly. They would have to agree to it. And we would need the right opportunity."

Draco shook his head and looked back at me. "Too many pieces would have to fall into place. It's too dangerous. I don't want you to end up hurt."

"So, we're just going to continue to torture ourselves by staying apart?" I said. I narrowed my eyes and crossed my own arms. "That's not working for me anymore."

"You should never have gotten involved with me in the first place," Draco said in frustration. "You should have known better."

I looked at him incredulously. "You think this is _my_ fault? You're the one who started everything!"

"You were the one who wanted to get involved with Slytherins!"

"And you were opposing me! It wasn't about _you_; I was rebelling against the status quo in general. I wanted to be your friend because you were one of the Slytherins I wanted to prove everyone wrong about. I had no intention of anything going any further. You're the one who took things to the next level. You sabotaged the Yule Ball."

Draco scoffed at this. "It was not sabotage."

"You kissed me while I was on a date with George!" I exclaimed. "You made me question everything I had ever known and everything I had been feeling. Even when I rejected you, you did not give up. You found your way into my mind... and into my heart. It's _your_ fault. Even when I did find everything too much and wanted to give up, you convinced me to come back. Nothing has been the same since you pushed your way into my life. Things can't go back to normal because I'm always thinking about _you_. Last year was a nightmare because I spent the whole time worrying about _you_."

He seemed to have calmed now, but he still had a hard look on his face. I found that I was breathing heavily. "This summer, George told me that he's in love with me. I could have agreed to stay with him, life could have been great, but I had to refuse because of _you_. I'm always going to be comparing everyone to you. Don't you understand? I can't go back to the way things used to be. I can't be a normal Gryffindor. I can't be with my friends the way I used to. I can't be with George. All I want is to be with _you_, whatever the cost... and I know the cost is high."

"I'm sorry for running your life," Draco said unhappily.

I let out an exasperated sigh. "No, you still don't get it; you didn't _ruin_ anything. Yes, my life has become a lot more complicated and painful since I met you, but I don't regret any of it because of everything that I have _gained_. There would not be so much pain if there was not so much joy. I always knew that love was important, but I never fully understood it until I loved you. Getting through to you and seeing in you what no one else has ever been able to see... there's no other feeling like it. And I have grown in ways I never thought possible. I've discovered how strong I am when I've felt too weak to continue, but then loves keeps me hanging on. I've found the courage to follow my heart and stand by what I believe to be true even if that means standing against everyone I care about."

Draco's expression was hard as he looked at me, but he did not interrupt. "Because of you," I continued, "I've discovered who I am. I was always listening to my parents and doing what I was told. That was fine then, but I needed to become independent and discover what I wanted for _me_. I'm tired of people telling me what to do and how to feel. Even when everyone else doubts me, _I_ know which side I'm on. I finally know where I belong; it's right here with you two." I looked from Severus back to Draco. "I choose _love_. But that's not the only thing important to me."

I took out my wand, aimed it up, and said, "Expecto Patronum." All three of us watched as an eagle emerged and circled out heads. "Freedom. I am an _American_. Love is impossible without freedom, and freedom means nothing without love." I could feel my eyes blazing as I looked at Draco, who suddenly seemed very uncomfortable. "I know you think you're doing what's best for me, but you need to respect my decisions. You have me trapped; you're not letting me the freedom to do the one thing I want to do more than anything else: love you. Let me be free." I paused; there was something different in his eyes that I had to address. "You want it too, don't you? Freedom. You feel trapped and unable to choose. I can show you how to be free. You just have to let me in."

Draco suddenly seemed afraid. With wide eyes, he back up. "No. I – I can't. That's not something I can have. This isn't meant to be; the world won't allow it."

"_Forget_ about the world. Break all the rules. Take this chance."

But Draco was shaking his head. "Your expectations are too high. I – I would fail you." Then he turned around and was out the door.  
I stood, dumbly staring at the spot where he had been, until Severus said, "Wait are you waiting for? Go after him!"

Something snapped inside me, and I raced out the door. I quickly descended the stairs, catching sight of Draco down the hall once I emerged from behind the gargoyle. "Draco!" I called.

He did not stop.

"Draco!" I repeated. I ran as fast as I could, but he was faster still. I was breathing heavily and my legs were burning, but I did not stop. Then I saw where he was headed: outside.

I pushed open the great doors and found myself suddenly drenched in water. Rain was pouring down _hard_. I ignored it, though, because Draco was standing a couple of yards away, his back towards me. I took several steps so that we would be able to hear each other above the rain but did not dare move any closer than that. "Draco?" I said tentatively.

"I'm sorry," Draco said in a voice sad enough to break my heart. "I'm not what you need; I'm not good enough. I would only end up hurting you again, and that would kill me. I don't deserve what you're offering."

There was that word again: deserve. This time, I was ready. "I know that you're good, Draco. I don't need any more proof than the fact that you know how to love. Evil is the absence of love, and therefore goodness is love. We become better the more we love. You're on the right track; you can't give up on yourself. And you can't deserve love. What I'm offering you is a free gift. Life does not have to be this way; I can show you something better."

The rain was soaking my hair, making it ling to my skin; I had to blink away the water that fell on my eyes. Draco did not stir. "You love me, now learn to love yourself. Forgive yourself for what you have done that you now hate. _I_ forgive you for everything you have done to hurt me. I don't want to condemn you or make you pay; that is the way of hate, not love. Condemnation stifles love because it leaves you feeling morally inferior and without hope of becoming better. Forgiveness sets you free and enables you to love and become restored in society. More love in the world is better, so do not accept the ways of retribution and revenge. Rise above it and look to the future, not the past. I know you could do great things if you believe in yourself the way that I believe in you.

"I can't pull you out of the darkness you are in, but I can show you enough light for you to get out. I can't make your choices for you, but I can reveal all of options to you so that you can make the best choice. You can't deny that what is best for _you_ is to be with _me_. Love cannot contradict; if you want to love both me and yourself, it will lead you to the same choice. So choose me. Choose love. Choose freedom. Choose _life_."

He did not respond. All I could hear was the rain pounding against both of us. "Draco?" I prompted gently.

He turned around. His face held a mix of emotions too numerous too name. He seemed torn between decisions; a second later, a light of confidence took over his face, and he marched towards me. Upon reaching me, he cupped my face and kissed me.

I immediately closed my eyes, and my hands went up to his chest. I was flooded with a happiness and joy that had seemed to be only distant memories, perhaps even a dream. The rain seemed to disappear completely as I lost myself to him. All of the months of pain and torture appeared inconsequential in comparison to this reward. I never wanted to let go... never again.

I moved my arms to around his neck when he broke away, and he wrapped his around my waist. His eyes were blazing with a fierceness and intensity that I could not ever remember seeing; at least, not like this. The rain was still splattering us, but it was hardly visible to me. "I love you," Draco said, filling my emotions to the brim.

"Don't leave me," I whispered just loud enough to be audible.

"Never," Draco vowed before bringing his mouth back to mine. 


	68. Together

The Room of Requirement looked just like it had when Draco and I had used it to meet two years earlier. We stood gazing at it for a minute, soaking everything in. We had dried ourselves, and now we had come here to talk before dinner. Draco touched my arm; I turned and smiled at him. I could hardly believe I had actually gotten through to him. The days of torture were over.

Draco brushed my cheek with his hand, bringing his face close to mine. "I missed you," he murmured.

"I missed you too," I said softly.

Regret flashed in his eyes, and he pulled back slightly, though he left his hand on m cheek. "I'm sorry for what I put you through last year. I never meant to cause you so much pain. If I had known... I continued to convince myself that I needed to stay away from you because I did not want to accept responsibility for what I had done. I did not want to know I had messed up again."

"It's alright," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You're here now; that's all I care about."

Draco put his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. We stayed locked into each other's arms, enjoying the peace it brought, for a long while until either of us spoke. "Thank you for not giving up on me," Draco said in a low voice.

I pulled back so that I could see him and smiled. "I'll never give up on you. I love you."

"I love you too." He brushed his lips against mine, and I eagerly kissed him.

When we pulled away, we exchanged a knowing look; we had to talk. We separated and made out way to the couch, taking a seat next to each other. "This is going to be interesting," I said. I was wondering how everyone was going to react to the partial façade I was about to put on.

"Will they believe it?" Draco asked.

I nodded. "They will. Many won't be surprised. Did you see the way our class acted today? They're probably expecting it to happen."

Draco nodded. "Good." He paused. "Do you think Snape will really be able to get us out of here?" He looked at me with uncertainty.

"I don't know," I admitted. "He'll try his hardest, though. It might be a good idea to prepare for battle. Will you fight against the Death Eaters if it comes to that?"

"Yes," Draco said right away. "I'm not going to fight _with_ them. I never wanted to."

"I know," I said softly.

"But how are we supposed to prepare? We're not exactly learning any defensive skills."

"Severus has been teaching me," I admitted. "I'm sure you could join me. Maybe he can teach us how to fight together as a team."

"That sounds like a pretty good idea," Draco said. "I hope you're right about us making a good team."

I smiled at him. "I am." I placed my hand over his as I gazed at him. He finally seemed like he was getting back to normal; I did not see the familiar pain and torment in his eyes; I hoped it would stay that way for both of us.

"You've certainly thought everything through."

"I had a lot of time to think this summer." I frowned slightly as something came to mind. "When I wasn't being threatened by Death Eaters, that is."

Draco winced. "I'm sorry about that."

I shrugged. "They were helpful, in a way. They reminded me of where I stand and where I want to be. Still, it was not a good summer."

"I still had a worse one," Draco said. "My home has been made into the Death Eater headquarters. My father is back, but we're severely restricted in where we can go because the Dark Lord does not full trust us. I've witnessed terrible things. That Muggle Studies teacher-"

I could see he was troubled, so I moved my hand so that it was holding onto his, and I gave him a gentle squeeze.

"The Dark Lord tortured her; he killed her; he had his snake _eat_ her in front of all of us." He was staring into the distance, and his eyes had taken on a glazed look. He seemed like he was looking into an immense darkness from which there was no escape.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I wished there was a way to get him out of this; I just had to do the best I could with what I had.

"I never thought much of Muggle Studies; my father always sneered at it. But what I was-" He cringed and glanced down. "That was not deserved." He looked up at me, his gaze sorrowful. "He's just a killer, isn't he?"

I nodded slowly. "Yes. Muggles and muggle-borns are the scapegoats. It could have been anyone, really; it's happened many times throughout history. He just chose to exploit purebloods for one reason or another. Maybe it's something he used to believe in..."

"Do you think he'll succeed?"

The fear I saw in his eyes matched the fear I had been trying to hide all this time. It took me a moment to respond. "No. There's still hope."

"Potter?" Draco said with raised eyebrows. "Do you even know where he is? Is he alright?"

"He has to be. You would know if he wasn't."

Draco looked away. "Right."

"Harry may be our best hope, but he is not our only hope. The people themselves may rise and rebel. Never underestimate the power of a good revolution."

He looked back at me. "Did America teach you that?" There was a hint of amusement in his voice.

I nodded. "Liberty is a powerful motivator; we just have to have the courage to fight for it."

Draco did not speak, but he did let go of my hand and, instead, wrapped his arm around me. I curled into his side comfortably, resting my head on his shoulder. I let the peace of the moment surround me and give me strength.

"Are you ready to face them?" Draco asked after what felt like not enough time.

"Yes," I said. I felt slight regret at what this would do to my friends, not to mention my sisters, but I knew it had to be done. I had made my choice. We stood up and faced each other.

Draco's eyes fell on the necklace around my neck, which displayed the Slytherin serpent; I had changed it a couple days ago out of protest. Draco simply nodded in approval. At a questioning look from me, he reached up to his neck and pulled something out from his shirt: the eagle necklace I had given him once upon a time ago. My mouth open in shock. "How long-"

"Always," Draco said.

I warm feeling enveloped me, and I smiled at him; he had never stopped caring. I took hold of his hand again and intertwined our fingers, giving him a slight smile. "Let's go."

We made our way to the Great Hall together. Draco opened the door, and we entered. At first, only a few people noticed us, but then everyone was staring at us. I tried not to look at the Gryffindor table, for I knew I would be receiving accusing glares. Draco put his arm around me protectively as he led me to the Slytherin table.

The Slytherins were staring at us as well. Some of them gave me hostile looks, and others were simply suspicious. "I don't want to hear any of you complaining," Draco said forcefully, sending each Slytherin a hard look. "She's with us now. She's on our side."

"How do we know?" Blaise asked skeptically.

"Trust me."

No one said anything as we sat down next to each other across form Vincent and Gregory. "Hey, guys," I said, giving them a friendly smile.

"Hi, Crystal," Gregory said.

I glanced down at my plate and began to eat. Thankfully, no one bothered me; I was sure none of them wanted to mess with a Death Eater. I was sure I could win them over with time. After all, I had done pretty well in the past when I was still trying to act like a Gryffindor.

Near the end of the meal, Draco leaned close to me and whispered, "Your moronic friends are staring at us."

I glanced behind us to see what he meant. Neville and Seamus were sitting together; they were turned partly around, watching us. They did not seem angry, though. If I did not know any better, I thought that they wanted to talk. Did they really think they could save me now? "Ignore them," I said to Draco as I turned back around.

We finished eating and excused ourselves. Some of the Slytherins got up to leave as well. As I walked out with Draco, I noticed Neville, Seamus, and Ernie standing off to the side in the Entrance Hall, seeming to be waiting for me. I turned to Draco. "I need to talk to them."

"But-"

"Neville saved us back in class," I reminded him. "Go see Severus. I'll meet you there; we need to update him on the situation."

Draco hesitated before nodding and turned to leave.

I walked over to Neville, Seamus, and Ernie smiling slightly. "Hey, guys. What's up?"

"What's going on?" Ernie asked anxiously. He glanced at the place where Draco had just been standing. "Why are you with him?"

"Didn't you see what happened at class today?" Seamus said. He looked at me, his gaze unreadable. "You want to join them, don't you? The Slytherins."

I bit my lip. He had certainly caught on quickly. "Yes." I turned to Neville. "You knew that, so why did you help me back there?"

"It wasn't right, what Carrow was trying to do," Neville said, frowning. "I didn't want to see you get hurt because of him; he's still the enemy."

I glanced down at the floor, feeling guilty. "Well, thanks."

"So, this is really it?" Ernie said. I looked up and saw him gazing at me sorrowfully.

I wished there was another way. I did not want to lose them and Ginny. "I'm sorry," I said with a gaze that was just as sad. "You guys are great friends, and you don't deserve what I'm doing to you. I just..." I sighed. "This is something I have to do. I wish I could make you understand. I don't mean to hurt anyone."

"You better go then," Neville said, his face hard. "You've made your choice."

Seamus and Ernie were still looking at me with uncertainty. "It'll be alright," I said to them." They looked away. "Goodbye..." I tuned and ran down the hall before I could change my mind. I stopped by the gargoyle, panting slightly. I needed to have complete control over my emotions; that was the only way this was going to work.

When I was ready, I ascended the stairs that led to the headmaster's room. Draco and Severus were standing together, waiting for me.

"Well?" Draco said.

"Everything is fine," I said. "They'll leave us alone." I glanced at Severus. "We need to talk about our plan."

"You wish to escape," Severus said slowly.

"If possible."

"Where in the States would you like to go?"

I frowned at the question; this was not something I had considered. I took a minute to think about the attributes of all the different states. "Not Minnesota. That's too obvious. Somewhere further away." And then it came to me. "Texas."

Severus raised his eyebrows. "Texas?"

"Isn't that place full of cowboys?" Draco said.

I smirked at him. "Kind of. Texas is the most independent, free-spirited, liberty-loving state. The capitol, Austin, is where anyone can fit in; it encourages weirdness. There is a big wizarding community there; we should be able to blend in."

"That sounds fine," Draco said.

Severus nodded. "There is also an international airport in Austin, which will simplify things considerably. WE just have to figure out how to get you to the London airport."

"Airport?" Draco said skeptically. "We have to go on an airplane?"

"They're not bad," I said. "I took one over here. It's too far to Apparate."

Draco still did not seem happy, but he did not argue.

"And if this plan is not successful?" Severus said.

"We'll fight if we have to," I said. I glanced at Draco, who nodded. "Can you teach us how to fight together?"

"Of course," Severus said. "Both of you should meet me on Thursdays."

"Good," Draco said. "I want to be stronger."

Severus swept his gaze form Draco to me. "I take it you will be acting like you have joined the Slytherins?"

I nodded. "Right. I've already talk to my friends. They think I'm some sort of traitor... For really this time." The thought saddened me, but I reminded myself that it was necessary.

"And you're sure you're willing to pay the price?" Severus' gaze was steady yet intense. "You cannot show any support for Gryffindor. You must not talk to your friends or stand up for them. And you have to distance yourself from your family."

Draco suddenly seemed concerned. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

I had not reflected on what this would do to my family. I bit my lip but nodded. "They-they'll b fine without me. They don't need me. They'll over it." I looked up at Severus sadly. "I know what I'm giving up. This is what I choose."

Severus turned his gaze to Draco. "What about you? Do you realize what you are risking?"

"I'll be in danger if anyone finds out," Draco said grimly.

"Yes, but there is something else. Would you be willing to fight against them? Would you attack your parents if they had to?"

Draco's eyes widened at the question. "I – If – if they would be willing to attack me, then yes."

"I don't think they would," I said, touching his arm sympathetically. "Your dad wouldn't even attack me because of you."

Draco looked down. "That was different."

I frowned. "I suppose so."

"There's one more concern," Severus said, and we both looked up at him. "You have to figure out what choices you will make in specific circumstances. You do not want a repeat of today's class. Talk about which risks you will take and how far you will go. You do not want to be caught off guard; your hesitation will give you away."

"Right," I said. That was a great idea; we needed to be prepared.

"Do you really think there will be a battle?" Draco asked.

"There is a high possibility," Severus replied. "This is not just between two people; I do not think either side will give up without a fight. You two need to be ready."

"Ready to show everyone what a Gryffindor and Slytherin can do _together_," I said confidently, my eyes shining.

"You _want_ to fight, don't you?" Draco mused.

I smirked. "I'm still a Gryffindor, you know. I love a chance to fight for honor, glory, truth, and freedom; I just never wanted to fight _you_. And I think we would make a good team. I believe our traits complement each other. Courage and ambition? Sounds unbeatable to me."

A thoughtful look crossed Draco's face. "You know, Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor used to be best friends."

"And they did make a good team," Severus added.

I smiled. "There you go." I took a step closer to Draco and grabbed his hand. He looked down at me and gave me a small smile – the first I had seen from him in a long time – and it made my heart feel light.

"Crystal," Severus said, causing me to look at him, "I have not seen you so happy since your fifth year. You too, Draco."

"Since we've lat been together," I commented, turning to Draco.

"Fine, you were right," Draco said; it sounded like he should be resentful, but his gaze gentle. "And I am glad you were." 


	69. Reflection

The next few days were good transition periods. The school was getting used to my new position, and the Slytherins were slowly accepting me. The Gryffindors ignored me whenever I was in the common, which was not often. My friends could not even look me in the eye.

I had double Potions the first thing on Thursday. Draco and I walked into the classroom together. I paused for a second, glancing from the empty table where I had always sat back to the Slytherin table. Then I took Draco's hand and headed to the latter. I felt slightly guilty when I saw Ernie walk in and pause at the same spot I had. After a moment, he grudgingly made his way over to the Ravenclaw table and pulled up a chair.

Professor Slughorn seemed surprised to see me with the Slytherins; he had never known me when I was with Draco. His eyes fell to my green necklace before he looked away and began class. I knew what he was thinking. It was fine.

We had Transfiguration after lunch. Professor McGonagall seemed just surprised as Slughorn had. Unlike the Potions teacher, however, she called me back after class. "I only need to speak with you for a minute," she said appearing slightly nervous. She glanced at Draco when he did not leave my side.

"Ok," I said. I turned to Draco. "Do you mind?" When he frowned and did not move, I added, "You know I didn't mean it literally when I told you not to leave me, right?"

"Fine," Draco said unhappily. He looked back over his shoulder at me as he exited the classroom.

I glanced at McGonagall. "Yes?"

"Miss Hansen," McGonagall began, seeming almost uncomfortable, "I would like to express concern about your recent... company." Her eyes fell to my necklace.

I frowned. "You mean Draco?"

"And the rest of that Slytherin lot."

"And what exactly is wrong with them?" I said defensively.

"Considering all the havoc that is going on, I don't think they are a wise choice of friends."

My eyes narrowed. "You don't know anything about them."

McGonagall sighed. "I'm saying you should be careful. People could begin to question your loyalties."

I shrugged. "So let them; it's not my problem. I know which side I am on."

"And which side is that?" the professor asked warily.

"I am on Draco and Professor Snape's side," I said confidently. "They are on the same side, so if you can figure which side that is, then you will know which side I am on."

McGonagall seemed surprised at this admission. "Miss Hansen-"

"Am I free to go?" I interrupted. "I have class."

McGonagall hesitated before saying, "Very well."

I turned and walked out of there, smiling slightly when I saw that Draco had waited for me. "It was nothing," I said in response to his look of interest. The encounter had probably been good for my purposes.

We had double Dark Arts before dinner on Friday. Draco and I walked in together, hand-in-hand. Carrow glanced at us, but he did not say anything. No one complained when we sat together with the other Slytherins. I knew this class would perhaps be the hardest part of my plan. From now on, I would have to do whatever Carrow told me to, even if it meant hurting innocent people.

One thing I still had left to do, though, was to talk to my sisters. I was thinking about this as I strolled around the castle with Draco on Saturday.

"I have Quidditch practice soon," Draco said as we neared the dungeons. "You're free to observe; I'm sure no one will mind."

"You're playing Quidditch again?" I said, remembering his absence the previous year.

"Yes. Do you think it's a good idea?"

I beamed at him. "I think it's great! It'll be good for you. I won't join you for practice, though. I have to go find my sisters and talk to them."

Draco nodded. "Good luck."

I smiled slightly. "Thanks."

I found my sisters studying in the library; I was proud that they were breaking Hufflepuff stereotypes of not being smart. I took a deep breath before walking inside and making my way over to their table. "Hey, guys," I said with a weak smile.

They both looked up at me. "Hey," Emily said. "What's been going on with you lately? I've seen you with Draco. Are you too back together?"

"Yes," I said.

Lizzie smiled. "That's great."

"Yes and no. You may have noticed I've also been spending time with Slytherin exclusively."

Emily frowned. "Yeah... Is that such a good idea?"

"If it's the only way I can be with Draco, then yes. So I'd appreciate it if you two would keep your distance."

"What?" Lizzie said, sounding shocked.

Emily gave me a blank stare. "You can't be serious."

"I'm sorry." I was forcing my voice to be steady and emotionless. "I don't expect you to understand."

"You're choosing him over family?" Emily said incredulously. "Mom and Dad aren't going to like this."

"Too bad," I said hotly. "I'm tired of being told what to do. This is _my_ decision."

"What about the Order?" Lizzie asked, looking up at me with innocent eyes.

I faltered. "I – I guess I quit."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Right. Good luck with your amazing life."

Her words hurt, but I knew this was necessary. "Goodbye," I whispered. I then turned around and made myself walk out by myself.

***

Draco and I had settled into a routine by the following week. I was making some progress with the Other Slytherins, but usually the two of us were alone. Currently, we were studying together outside on a bright Saturday afternoon.

"Can we take a break?" Draco groaned as he set a textbook down and lay on his back.

I smirked slightly. "Sure." I set aside my own work before lying down beside him. Then I turned on my side so I could look at him, and he did the same. For a few minutes, we just stayed there gazing at each other; I felt perfectly content.

Then a thought entered my mind. It made me uncomfortable, and it caused me to frown involuntary.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked in concern.

"I just-" I paused. "I need to know, do _you_ regret meeting _me_? Last year you said I had made your life difficult..."

Draco's face darkened. "That was an unreflective statement," he said as he propped up his head with his arm. "I've thought it before, but it's not true. I don't regret anything. You were right; there's more good than bad. I didn't see it at the beginning. I was afraid..."

Now this intrigued me. He had never talked to me about his thoughts and feelings about and for me when we had first met; I was wondering what exactly had been going through his mind. "What do you mean?"

He took a minute to respond; he seemed to be thinking about how to answer the question. "I knew there was something different about you the first time I met you," he began slowly. "It was the way you looked at me. I could not explain it then, but it was like you were looking past what everyone else saw and could see something different. You interested me even though I knew your choice of companions. I wanted you to be in Slytherin... When you were sorted into Gryffindor, I figured you were not worth the trouble."

He paused, and a peculiar look came over his face. "And then you defended me in front of Potter and his friends when Moody-"

"Not the real Moody," I interjected.

"Whatever. What you did – no one has ever done anything like that for me before... and I liked at. At the same time, it scared me; I didn't know what it meant. I had always known how to deal with Gryffindors, but I did not know how to deal with you. You threw everything out of balance. And when you tried to teach Gryffindors and Slytherins to get along... I couldn't take it. I became your adversary because you were threatening everything I thought I knew about life works. There was an attraction to it, but it was too dangerous to pursue."

His confession surprised me. I had no idea I had affected him so deeply. What happened at the Yule Ball always had seemed random to me. I never thought he actually liked me. "But by challenging me, you remained close to me. You could have just ignored me."

Draco frowned. "If I was smart, that's what I would have done, but I couldn't ignore what I was feeling altogether. I thought my plan was the safe approach... I was wrong. You got to my friends, and they were happy to spend time of you... It was something I wanted too, but I couldn't admit it even to myself, which is why I acted so coldly toward you. You exposed something of myself to me that I couldn't deal with. And I – I couldn't believe that you actually like me. I had done nothing to deserve it, and it confused me.

"But then the Yule Ball arrived, and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to ask you... but stupid Weasley got there first." His eyes narrowed slightly.

"Would you have actually asked me?" Going to the ball with him would have made a public statement; he had not been ready for that at that point.

Draco glanced down at the grass. "I don't know. I was torn. I thought I could figure everything out later. I didn't mean to ruin your date; I just had to see if what I was feeling was real... so I kissed you." His eyes flickered up to mine, and he became silent.

"And?" I prompted gently.

"I immediately regretted it because I knew there was no going back. That kiss – it was like nothing I had ever felt before, and I _knew_ you felt it too, even if you denied it."

"I was with George!"

"I know; I became determined to break you up. I couldn't fight the attraction any longer, and I figured that if I had control that nothing bad would happen. I thought I knew what I was doing... I only agreed to be your friend because I thought I could win you over. I did not expect to actually like talking to you, which only increased my problem. Whatever was happening between us, it was growing stronger; I knew I couldn't control it, but I deluded myself in order to get by. I didn't fully understand what was happening to me, and I didn't care. I wanted to be with you so that I could protect you and make sure you were happy...

"I was ecstatic when you agreed to go out with me. For the first time in a long time, I felt truly happy. I ignored the warning going off inside my mind because I reasoned that anything that felt this good could not be bad for me. I ignored any problems we had. I knew everything had become complicated when the Dark Lord returned, but I denied that it had any effect on me. I should have talked to you about it, but I was afraid."

"I was afraid too," I said softy. "I was ignoring it as well. I should have said something, but then it was too late..."

Draco gazed at me sadly. "We both messed up. We were caught in a fantasy that was always supposed to end. It never should have worked out right..." He silent for a minute, and his expression calmed. "I still could not understand you. I was shocked when you protected me from Potter and Weasley after that Quidditch game... It made no sense to me, but I liked it. I didn't care what anyone thought anymore because I just wanted to be with you. And I still don't understand why Professor Snape was so accepting of us being together. I know he likes you, but still..."

I could not help the grin that spread across my face. "He didn't tell you, did he?"

Draco blinked. "Tell me what?"

"There's a reason he likes me and wants us to be a together and a reason why it's easy for me to trust him. Ask him later." I smiled. "Continue."

Draco looked at me oddly. "Ok... Anyway, I was devastated when you broke up with me. I was mad at myself for hurting you, and I covered that up by being mad at everything else. I did not want to admit that my life was spinning out of control. I didn't want to lose you... And then you told me you love me." Emotion overtook his face. "I never thought – I didn't expect-"

I reached out and touched his hand that was lying on the grass. I smiled at him, and he calmed.

"I didn't understand how you could love me, but I didn't really care then. We were together, and that was all that mattered. Bu that summer..." His gaze saddened as he was silent for a moment. "I didn't want to join them; I knew it would mean losing you, but I _had_ to. I wanted to run to you and tell you what happened, but some stronger force held me back. I realized the danger I would be putting you in, and I couldn't risk it. Suddenly, nothing mattered more than keeping you safe. I realized that I love you..."

I took his hand in mine and squeezed it gently. "It's ok. I understand."

Draco sat up slightly, leaning on his arm to keep himself propped up, and I did the same. "I still don't understand what you see in me. What good is there? Why did you stick with me?"

My smile was sad as I gazed at him, but I was happy to explain. "For one, you saved me from that falling bookshelf in Diagon Alley. That was what drew me to you right away, actually. I wanted to find out more. I defended you in front of 'Moody' because I thought it was the right thing to do. I was curious about you. I was actually kind of impressed when you competed against me with the first years. It showed me you cared enough to do something. I couldn't help but think that you could be a great leader if you had the right cause.

"A lot of traits are morally neutral, Draco. The house traits are good examples. There is nothing inherently good or evil about courage or ambition; it depends on how you use them. There is potential in everyone for either; it is our choice. I knew you were hiding the good in you, and I wanted to find it."

"Did you?" Draco asked, seeming captivated by what I was saying.

I smiled at him. "I haven't seen everything you're capable of, but I now have a pretty good idea. You're smart, clever, and calm under pressure. You don't react with anger most of the time; instead, you think things through and keep control over your emotions. When you want to be, you are reflective and take in various bits of information in an unbiased manner. You have a great work ethic. You are confident and perseverant; you don't give up when you really care about something. I think your drive and ambition could make you great at creating positive change."

"I've never thought about it that way," Draco said. "But what about moral traits?"

"Well, you're a good listener," I said. "You focus your attention on me when I'm talking and don't let anything distract you; you _care_ about what I'm saying. You are loyal and faithful to those you love, and that is not something that should be underestimated. You're also warm and affectionate when you're with me. You can be perceptive and thoughtful. You're naturally protective. And I believe you have a lot more courage than you believe; you just have to find something worth fighting for."

Draco appeared to be reflected on what I had said; there almost seemed to be a battle going on inside of him. "But all of that is only around you."

"You can learn to show that side to others."

Draco frowned. "I can't exactly do that right now. I'm supposed to be acting like a Death Eater."

"Then _act_ like one. Focus on changing your thoughts first; thoughts determine attitude, and attitude influences actions."

Draco took a full sitting position now. "How?"

I sat up as well so that we were level. "You have to try to see beneath the surface. Hold off judgment of others; always give them the benefit of the doubt. Try to see the world through their eyes. Try to see the good in them."

"That doesn't sound easy."

I shrugged. "It takes practice." I moved so that I was sitting beside him. Then I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head against his shoulder. He readily put his arm around me and rested his head against mine. "Don't forget to give yourself a chance," I said softly.

I felt him nod slightly. Then he whispered, "By the way, I have found something to fight for."

I smiled in understanding. 


	70. Wonder

"You really did mean we would break all the rules," Draco mused. It was late at night, and we were attempting to sneak out of the castle.

"Rules are made for us and not use for rules," I replied. "Besides, what will happen to us if we're caught? The Carrows won't punish us."

"Good point."

We had reached the door. I looked around one last time before slipping outside. "This is going to be really cool," I whispered excitedly.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

I looked back at him and smirked. "You'll see." I led him in the direction of the Black Lake. I kept my head up, looking for the moon. Once I had a good view of it, I stopped walking. I looked at Draco and smiled. "Here we are. Look at the moon."

Draco glanced up. I could see his eyes widen in surprise. "What's happening to it?"

I looked up as well. "Didn't you pay attention in astronomy? It's a lunar eclipse." Most of the moon was covered in darkness with a sliver of white, but the darkness was slowly turning red while more and more of the moon was being covered. "The earth is between the sun and the moon. The sun's light is reflecting off the earth onto the moon, causing it to become hidden and look red."

Draco continued to stare at the moon. I smiled at the look of amazement on his face. "It's quite pretty."

"Yes, it is," I said softly. I took his hand in mine and entwined our fingers. "I've seen this once before, but I've always wanted to see a solar eclipse."

"Those are rare, aren't they?"

"Yeah. They don't happen often, and you have to be in the right part of the world. It's a pretty magnificent sight, though. It would be worth planning for."

"You'll see it one day."

I smiled. We stood in silence for awhile. The moon was now almost covered in red. Then something else came to mind. "Do you know what to her natural event is amazing to witness?"

Draco looked down at me. "What?"

"The Northern Lights. Have you seen them?"

Draco shook his head.

"I suppose they don't reach Britain too often, and the London city lights would prevent them from being visible."

"Have you seen them?"

I nodded. "You can see them in Minnesota, but the light in the cities also block the view. I've traveled north to Canada with my family, out in the middle of nowhere, and I've seen them there. My mom has family there – cousins from her muggle side. I always loved going up to play with my second cousins."

Draco was staring at me now, not the moon. "Canada? I thought your mum was American."

"Her dad came from Canada," I replied.

"Did your cousins, er, _know_ about your family?"

I smiled at the awkwardness of his question. "Yes, they know we're wizards. I was always excited to show off what I could do to my cousins. I wanted them to think I was really cool." I let go of Draco's hands and crossed my arms; I smiled as I looked up at the moon. "It turned out they often taught me a lot more than I taught them."

I glanced at Draco and noticed him looking at me with raised eyebrows. I chuckled lightly. I knew what I was saying must have sounded strange to him; we had come from two very different cultures, but the important thing was that he was listening to me. "No, it's true," I said. "Have you ever really stopped and _thought_ about muggles or observed them? They're quite remarkable actually. They don't have the advantages that we have, and yet they've been able to create so much for themselves. They've produced themselves what we've always been able to do easily with magic. It takes hard work and patience. There is something about laboring for something and ten seeing your completed work... They get excited about the smallest things."

I returned my gaze to the moon. "Sometimes I think they see more than a lot of us do. They take time to enjoy the moment and find joy in every little accomplishment. Many of them understand that the world is much bigger than tem, but they're happy with their place in it. That's something some of us need reminding of." I nodded at the moon. "Can magic produce an eclipse? Can we replicate the Northern Lights?"

I smiled. "Not even the greatest wizard can come close to producing something of the magnitude that nature gives us. We're a lot similar to muggles than we are different. We may be blessed with more abilities than them, but there's still so much that we're incapable of doing. We are not the highest power in the world; not even close."

Draco was staring up at the moon, but the expression on his face told me he was thinking hard about what I said. "I can see what you mean," he said slowly. "I've never – I never thought about any of that. It is so different from everything I was taught."

"I know," I said softly, letting my arms drop to my side. "I've always known."

Draco looked at me with a mixture of wonder and confusion. "Then why were you so persistent in being my friend? Why did you take chance on me?"

I shrugged. "Nothing is set in stone. You're still young; you haven't had a chance to think everything out for yourself. Much of what you know comes from your parents, and they likely learned it from theirs. The cycle has to stop somewhere. What will ever change if no one shows you a different way? And condemning you and acting like you're morally inferior is not the way to do it. It exasperates the problem and leads to more hatred, not less. People will surprise you if you give them the chance. Why use your same tactics of superiority and condemnation? It means we're just as bad and guilty of the same crime. Judgment, bias, and prejudice are bad no matter who they're aimed at."

"Then it appears everyone is inclined to condemn," Draco said thoughtfully.

"That does seem to be part of human nature," I agreed. "Retribution is ingrained in us, but that doesn't make it right."

"I'm starting to like your way better," Draco said. "You're the only one who's given me hope in a long time. I want to see what you see."

I smiled warmly at him. "I will gladly show you."

Draco gave me a slight smile in return. Then we looked at the moon again. It was fully red now. I knew it would soon be darkening again to be followed by its usually light. It was getting cold out, and I shivered.

"Are you ready to head back?" Draco asked.

"Sure," I said. "We've seen enough." He took my hand, and we headed back to the castle together.

***

The Slytherin versus Gryffindor Quidditch game was scheduled for the first Saturday of November. The air was chilly, but I refused to wear my scarf because of its Gryffindor colors. I could feel the members of my house staring at me as walked over to the Slytherin side of the stands to sit with them. The Slytherins had grown used to me by now, and some of them even liked me. They were pleased that having a traitor ignored the heck out of Gryffindors.

Since my time at Hogwarts, I had yet to see Slytherin beat Gryffindor. However, Gryffindor was missing Harry and Ron, and Ginny was not quick enough in catching the snitch. I jumped up and cheered with the rest of my adopted house when Draco's fingers closed around the small golden ball. They had won the game.

I pushed my way past students to get to the field. The team was crowding around Draco in celebration. I waited until the excitement died down, and then I ran up to my boyfriend and flung my arms around his neck and beamed at him. "Congratulations! That was brilliant!"

Draco grinned down at me. "Thank you."

"Come on!" a Slytherin player said. "Let's celebrate!"

I knew the Gryffindors must have hated me now, and I tried to avoid their looks, especially that of Ginny. I would have to pay for it later in the common room, though. Draco put his arm around my shoulder and we walked in the direction of the changing rooms.

I waited for him to change into normal clothes, and then we headed for the dungeons. Some of the Slytherins seemed wary about letting me into their common room, but no one complained. I walked around and mingled a bit as everyone chatted excitedly about the game. It was a good chance to bond with the house.

A little bit later, Draco joined me on the couch where I had been lounging. "You're great on a broomstick," I said. "I wish I had learned how to ride one better. I don't even have a broom."

"You don't?" Draco said seeming surprised.

I shrugged. "I always wanted one, but I was never persistent enough in asking and my family never thought it worth the money to get me one. I only know what I was taught in fist year."

"We'll have to change that," Draco said with confidence.

I looked at him warily. "What do you mean?"

"I'll teach you," Draco said. "We'll start tomorrow."

***

Draco was true to his word. He spent every day of the next week attempting to teach me how to effectively ride a broom. I had to admit, it was pretty fun, and I was pleased with my success. By the following Sunday, flying had come to feel natural to me.

"You've got it!" Draco said as I landed in front of him. "I don't think you need any more lessons; you're great."

I smiled at him as I got off the broom and held it in my hand. "Thanks. You're a good teacher." I handed him his broom.

"I suppose," Draco said as he took the broom from me.

"Do you want to take a walk?"

"Ok," Draco agreed. We walked off the Quidditch pitch, and as we passed the changing rooms, he set his broom against it. Then he headed to the grassy area near the Forbidden Forest.

"Now that I think about it, I should have told Severus to get us to Hawaii," I commented.

Draco glanced at me. "Isn't that where muggles go for vacation?"

"Yeah," I said. "Wizards live there too, though. I've been there once. It would be a great place to hide out; the weather is perfect, and there is so much to do and explore. I've got to take you someday."

"We have to get out of this mess first," Draco said.

I frowned. I remembered the advice Professor McGonagall had given me at the beginning of the year, and I decided to try it. "Let's just forget about that. I think that talking about what we want to do when this _does_ pass will help us get through it."

Draco studied my face for a minute before saying, "Alright. Then you have to take me on a tour of the States. I want to see this Minnesota you always talk about."

I grinned. "No problem. It might take awhile; there's so much to see."

"We'll have all the time in the world once we're free." He reached over and took hold of my hand. "I'll show you Europe; I've been to many of the countries around here. There's a lot to see there, too."

"That sounds wonderful." I had never had much of an interest in countries outside of my own, but living in Britain had broadened my curiosity. Seeing the world sounded like a pretty good idea to me, especially if Draco was by my side. "I'm glad Hogsmeade trips are back this year." We had gone on one already, and we had had a good time. I had missed Honeyduke's!

"Yes," Draco agreed. "It's not the same as it used to be, though."

I smiled grimly. Many of the businesses were leaving due to the Death Eater takeover of the country. Hopefully, the town would be able to rebuild in the future.

"Doesn't this weather bother you?"

I smirked. Draco was wearing a scarf, hat, and heavy coat. I was wearing a coat as well, but I had kept it open. "I told you, this I nothing compared to what I'm used to. This isn't real cold."

Draco chuckled and shook his head. "Sure."

As the conversation faded, I took the chance to look around at our surroundings. We were nearing the forest. Upon seeing something, I gasped and stopped walking.

"What is it?" Draco asked in confusion.

"Quiet," I whispered. I let go of his hand and pointed into the forest. A doe was standing there, her ears up in alert. After a minute of stillness and quiet, the deer seemed to relax. She turned her head to the left. Two fawns with spots emerged from the bushes. I smiled as I watched them. The doe then turned around and led her children deeper into the forest.

"Haven't you ever just stopped and observed nature?" I said to Draco once the deer had left.

"No," Draco said. "I never thought it worth my time." He gazed at me, and his expression was unreadable. "Maybe there is something to it."

I smiled at him. "There is a lot to learn if you just look around you." With that said, we turned and headed back in the direction we had come. Somehow, at that moment, I felt like everything was going to turn out all right. 


	71. Love and Death

I was pleased with the way Draco and my Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons with Severus Snape were going. I could feel us growing stronger each week. We had learned how to fight together, and our power was enhanced because of it. By Thanksgiving, we had gotten some advanced magic, which raised my confidence in our ability to survive the future.

"Today I want to practice casting a Patronus," Severus said that Thursday evening. He stood facing Draco and me in his office; we listened attentively. "Crystal, I know you have already acquired this particular skill, so I want you to help Draco."

I nodded. "Ok."

"Isn't casting a Patronus supposed to be really hard?" Draco asked.

"It is," Severus said, "especially a corporeal Patronus, but even a non-corporeal Patronus will help protect you against dementors, which you will likely have to face if there is a battle. A corporeal Patronus is one that is fully-formed, taking the shape of an animal. The specific animal forms that corporeal Patronuses take vary from person to person and reflect each individual's personality... or something important to the person."

I smiled, understanding the implication. "And they can send messages, right?" That was something he had taught me the previous year.

Severus nodded. "Correct. Dumbledore invented this technique, and it is the way in which the Order communicates. Furthermore, it can be a means to decipher who is a friend and who is a foe. Most dark wizards who try to produce a Patronus will be devoured by maggots that come from their wand."

Draco and I shared shocked glances.

"However," Severus continued, "some exceptionally powerful dark wizards will be able to produce a Patronus without any problem." He turned to Draco. "To cast a Patronus, you must focus on the happiest memory you can think of while drawing circles with your wand in order to increase the power of your spell. When you are ready, say 'Expecto Patronum.'" He looked at me. "Would you like to demonstrate?"

I nodded. Draco looked nervous, so it was probably a good idea to show him how it was done. I took out my wand and closed my eyes while taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. I decided to choose a new, more recent memory; I focused on the moment when Draco came back to me. Then I opened my eyes, pointed my wand to the ceiling and said, "Expecto Patronum!" A bright light issued from my wand, and my bald eagle appeared; it flew around the room before disappearing.

"Excellent," Severus said. "Draco, why don't you try?"

"Ok," Draco said, seeming uncertain. He appeared to be thinking as he twirled his wand in the air. Then he looked up and said, "Expecto Patronum." Nothing happen.

"Try again," Severus said. "It takes practice."

Draco nodded, but I could tell he was frustrated.

I watched him practice for almost an hour. Finally, as Draco said the spell again, a bright, white light emerged from his wand. He seemed surprised at his success.

"Very good," Severus said, appearing pleased. "That is a non-corporeal Patronus."

"But it's not good enough!" Draco said. "I'm relaxed now, so if I have to do the spell in a tough situation, I'm not going to be able to even do that." He looked away and glared at the ground.

Severus glanced at me. "Do you want to help him?"

I nodded. Draco's self-defeating attitude was not helping him. If he had enough confidence n himself, I was sure he could be successful. I walked over to him and touched his arm. "Draco," I said softly.

He lifted his head to meet my gaze. His eyes were filled with fear, frustration and desperation.

"You can do this," I said. Holding his wrist, I carefully pulled back his left sleeve to reveal his Dark Mark, like I had done with Severus two months earlier. With my other hand, I slowly dragged my fingers across the mark. "_This_ means nothing. It is _not_ who you are."

"But-" Draco started to say.

I shook my head and dropped his arm. "You can do this spell; I know you have it in you. You have to _believe _you can do it. You have a very strong will; I've _seen_ it. Use it to get what you want. Don't give up on yourself."

Draco glanced down at the floor again. It seemed like he was trying to believe me, but he was not quite there yet.

I touched his cheek and gently turned his face so that he was looking at me. "Do it for me." I moved my hand to the back of his neck so that I could push his head down and kiss him forcefully. He responded immediately, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him. I could feel the fire growing in him that would allow him to succeed in this task.

I pulled back and smiled at him, our arms still around each other; his gaze had grown in intensity. "I love you, Draco," I whispered. "Now cast a Patronus."

He nodded wordlessly. We let go of each other, and I stepped back. I watched as he took a deep breath before pulling out his wand. It took him a minute to finally look up and say, "Expecto Patronum!"

A white form began to emerge from his wand, struggling to get out. Then a corporeal Patronus escaped from the wand. It was an eagle.

Draco and I exchanged a look of surprise. We turned to Severus expectantly.

"Excellent work, Draco," the headmaster said. "Keep practicing and you will be able to produce it when needed."

"But why- why is it the same as Crystal's?" Draco asked. "We don't have the same personality."

My eyes lit up in understanding; I grinned.

Severus caught my eye, and I knew we were thinking the same thing. "Like I said before, it is not always personality," he said. "A Patronus is known to often reflect your love for another person."

Draco turned to me, looking bewildered.

I smiled and nodded. "See? You're _good_." Then I rushed forward and enveloped him in a hug. I could feel the emotions surging through him as he hugged me back. Neither of us said a word; we didn't have to.

"Thank you," Draco whispered when he finally pulled away from each other.

"Anytime," I said just as softy.

Severus cleared his throat, causing us both to turn to him. "That is enough for today," he said. "I will see you both next week."

I nodded. Suddenly, a thought struck me, and I said to Draco, "Just a minute." I left him standing there looking confused as I trotted over to Severus. "You should tell him."

Severus looked at me blankly. "Tell him what?"

I raised my eyebrows. "You know what. The reason you're on my side." He looked like he was going to protest, so I quickly continued, "He could use a little empathy. It did wonders for me."

Severus hesitated and then said, "Fine. I will think about it."

I grinned at him. "Great, thanks. Have a good night." I skipped back to Draco, and the two of us left the office.

***

Draco and I wandered around outside again on Sunday night. We had found this was the best time when we could be alone and walk freely. We approached the edge of the Forbidden Forest and stopped. "This would be a good place to explore," I mused.

"But it's against the rules," Draco reminded me.

I smirked. "That's never stopped me before."

"It's dangerous."

I frowned. "We'll only go in a little ways. Come on, it will be fun."

Draco seemed to be debating with himself; he finally nodded. "Alright. Not too far, though."

I grinned at him. "Of course." We entered the forest together. I looked left and right as we walked, looking for any sign of life. I loved running into animals and magical creatures; they were all fascinating in their own way. Simply walking among the trees, something I had often done in Minnesota, was nice as well.

I saw two dark figures in the distance. Curiously, I walked towards them. I smiled when I realized what they were: thestrals.

"I've seen this before," Draco murmured. "They were pulling the carriages at the beginning of the year; that was the first time I saw them."

I nodded. "They're thestrals. Only those who have seen death can see them."

Draco seemed startled as he looked at me. "Oh. You-"

"The astronomy tower," I said. "Just like you."

Draco glanced down. "Right. They're a bit tragic, aren't they?"

I shrugged. "I guess so." The thestrals looked at me as I advanced towards them. "Most people think they are an omen of evil, but that's not true. People fear what they do not understand." I reached out my hand and touched one of the thestral's noses; it snorted before lowering its head so that I could pet it. I smiled. "They're simply misunderstood."

Draco had followed me, and was now watching me in interest. "You sound like Hagrid."

"I suppose we do both have a love of creatures others think are dangerous," I said thoughtfully. "I just extend that to people as well. Everyone deserves a chance, right?"

Draco did not say anything. The other thestral had come up to him and was looking at him expectantly. He glanced at me for help, but I just smiled encouragingly. Draco hesitated and then slowly lifted his hand. The thestral lowered its head like mine had. Then, very carefully, Draco placed his hand on its nose. The creature seemed pleased as he moved his hand back and forth.

"There you go," I said happily. "They're not so bad."

"I guess not," Draco mumbled.

A minute of silence passed between us. Then Draco stopped petting his thestral and turned away. I could sense sadness coming off of him, and it worried me. "Draco?" I said as I walked over to him. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Draco said without looking at me.

I frowned. "I don't believe you."

"Fine. I was just thinking about... my parents." He let out a heavy sigh and looked at me. "They're never going to agree to our plan, especially my father. Even after everything that had happened to me last year, he's still trying to get in good with the Dark Lord. I bet he thinks I should have done it. He probably thinks I'm weak."

The anguish in his eyes cut right to my heart. I wanted to do anything I could to make it better. "He loves you," I said. "You need to tell him how you feel."

Draco looked away and scoffed. "That's not going to work. He's never listened to me. And my mother will do whatever he says. We'll never get them to come with us..."

I stood there for a minute thinking about what he said. From what I knew about his parents, it seemed to be true. There had to be a way to get through to them, though. "Maybe if I had a chance to talk to them..." I began.

Draco snapped his head in my direction. "_No_," he said forcefully. "The only way you could get to talk to them would be to go home with me, and that's not going to happen. Your Slytherin sympathy thing may work here, but it won't be good enough among Death Eaters. There is now way they would allow it."

"You need to question your assumptions," I said as an idea started to form in my mind.

Draco's eyes widened. "Crystal, what are you thinking?"

"I don't know yet," I said honestly. "I need to give it some time."

"Just promise me you won't do anything dangerous."  
  
I smirked. "I think we're way past that." Before he could protest, I leaned into him and gave him a side hug. "Don't worry." He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me, and he did not protest. I knew he would hate the idea I had, which was why I needed time to build a good defense for it. My subconscious was nagging at me to come up with a solution. 


	72. Getting Deeper

December brought on a light dusting of snow, which I found enjoyable to watch from the window. The days were growing colder, and it was not just because of the weather. I had a definite plan when I entered Severus' office with Draco. I was nervous; I knew neither of them were going to like the idea, especially my overprotective boyfriend. I had to try, though.

"Good evening," Severus said once we entered.

I nodded at him in acknowledgement. "Listen, we need to talk about Christmas."

"You're afraid confronting the Order?" Severus said. "You may stay at Hogwarts if that is the case."

I blinked. That was something I had never even thought about, but it was a good point. "That's not what I meant." I paused as I glanced at Draco, who was watching me calmly. "I – I want to go home with Draco."

Draco's eyes instantly narrowed. "I already told you, that won't work."

"We can _make_ it work," I insisted. "Can we at least talk about?"

"Why do you want to go home with him?" Severus asked. He remained calm, but I could tell he was intrigued with my request. "You will be safe at Hogwarts."

"I – I don't think it's a god idea for us to be apart," I said. "Who knows what could happen in two weeks; we would spend the whole time worrying about each other, and we might give something away. Also, I want to talk to his parents. I think that if we teamed up, we might be able to get them to join our side."

"Not likely," Draco said, shaking his head.

I shot him a look. "You don't know that for sure. Isn't it worth trying?"

"Not if it gets you hurt," Draco growled. "You can't just waltz right into Death Eater headquarters like it's the Three Broomsticks."

"I can if I'm there to join them," I said.

For a minute, there was silence as both guys took in the meaning of my words. Draco was the first to react. "Have you lost your mind?!" he exclaimed. "You can't – Why – No!" He crossed his arms and glared at me angrily.

"Crystal, what is the meaning of this nonsense?" Severus said. "You do not want to become a Death Eater."

"No," I said, "but _they_ don't have to know that. It's purely means to an end."

"You think you can just trick the Dark Lord and get away with it?" Draco said incredulously. "He'll kill you!"

"I know Occlumency,"

"That might not be good enough," Severus said. "For you to seem sincere in wishing to join our ranks, the Dar Lord will expect for you to let him into your mind. You will have to be able to manipulate your thoughts to deceive him. Which memories can you show him to prove your sincerity?"

"See? It won't work," Draco said.

I looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Do you think I could come up with a crazy idea like this and not have thought it through? Sure, I can act impulsively in the moment, but that's not one of my stronger Gryffindor traits." Draco still seemed angry, but he remained silent. I turned back to Severus, who I was sure would be the more level-headed of the two. "There _are_ certain memories I can show him to get him to believe me. My reason for wishing to join does not have to be solely out of love for the mission, does it?"

"I suppose not," Severus said slowly. "There are some who have joined out fear or surrender due to practical calculations."

"That last one might help, but I've got something better," I said. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It's the same reason my friends and family have been so ready to believe the lie I've been telling all year." I looked at Draco. "Because of _him_."

Draco appeared startled, dropping his arms to his sides. "What? You want to tell the Dark Lord you wish to become a Death Eater because of _me_?"

I nodded. "If my friends and family buy it, then he will, since he understands even less about love than the others."

Draco's look of disapproval instantly reappeared on his face. "How do you know this will work? He wants you to be loyal to _him_, not me."

"Yes," I said patiently, "but you're caught up in this mess and, as far as he knows, there's no way for you to get out of it. Therefore, he can almost be assured that I will remain loyal. It doesn't matter my reason as long as I help out, right?"

"Correct," Severus said.

"This is absurd," Draco said. "I won't let you do it."

I ignored him and focused on Severus. "Could it work?" I asked anxiously. "This all rests on the fact that the Dark Lord understands eros but not agape. It worked for you."

"What are you talking about?" Draco said, suddenly seeming more confused than angry.

"Eros and agape are two Greek words meaning 'love,'" Severus explained.

"They mean different things," I said quickly, glancing at Draco. "There are four words for love in the Greek language. English is messed up and only has one, making love even more complicated than it already is. No wonder couples get so confused." My parents had taught me about the Greek words for love when I was young to explain the difference in types; I found the distinctions extremely helpful.

Draco blinked. "Ok. What do they mean and what does this have to do with the Dark Lord? Wait – Eros is like erotic. Is that not sexual desire?"

"Kind of," I said. "It does not have to be talking about a sexual relationship. It could mean any romantic feelings at all. On the other side, it can mean strong passionate love or infatuation – what most people confuse for the feeling of being in love."

Severus nodded. "This the Dark Lord undoubtedly understands; he knows human nature, even if he has likely never felt it himself."

"Alright then," Draco said slowly. He looked at me. "What's the other one?"

I smiled. "Agape is unconditional and self-sacrificing love. Unconditional: it is a gift that cannot be deserved and earned, and because of that, there is nothing that can make it go away; it is eternal. Self-sacrificing: it always looks to the other person; it is a constant giving of the self."

"I wish I would have known that earlier," Draco murmured, his head lowered and his eyebrows furrowed in thought.

I touched his arm and gave him a small smile. "It's never too late to try; it's a goal everyone should be trying to reach. No one can ever be perfect at it."

Draco lifted his head, and his eyes met mine. "The Dark Lord does not understand this type of love. I can see how that could be."

"Honestly, most people don't understand it," I said. "If my friends did..." I trailed off, not wanting to think about that.

Draco turned to Severus. "But you do?"

Severus looked away, suddenly seemed uncomfortable. "Yes," he said in a low voice after a minute.

"Tell him," I said gently. "He needs to know."

"Tell me what?" Draco asked, his eyes fixated on the other man.

"The reason he switched sides," I said. "The reason he was able to fool the Dark Lord into believing he was still loyal. It's the reason I may be able to do the same."

"Hold on, you _love_ someone?" Draco said. I could see understanding slowly growing in his eyes mixed with a sense of disbelief.

I looked at Severus expectantly. Even though he was still silently, I told myself I would not say anything more. This was not my story to tell.

Severus did not speak for a couple of minutes longer. When he finally did raise his head and open his mouth, his voice came out pained. "Yes. She was a member of the Order of the Phoenix. I asked the Dark Lord to spare her, but he would not listen. After he killed her, Dumbledore gave me a way out and I became a spy."

"I had no idea," Draco said, sounding truly amazed. "How did this happen? I mean, I know how I fell for Crystal, but how did you know your girl?"

"We were friends," Severus said. "I met her before Hogwarts. I observed her powers and told her she was a witch."

"Wait," Draco said, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion, "she was a mudblood?"

"Watch your language," Severus said sharply.

"S-sorry," Draco said, casting me a guilty glance.

I was, however, still caught up in the new revelation. "Right, she was a muggleborn. That is something I had never even considered the significance of." At the blank look I got from Draco, I added, "I told you blood status doesn't even register in my brain as important. It's like knowing someone's favorite color. Meaningless." I shrugged. I had grown up in a different culture from them.

Draco turned back to Severus. "Why would you join the Dark Lord if you were in love with a muggleborn? Isn't that hypocrisy?"

Severus turned his head away and cast his gaze to the ground. "I attempted to rationalize it. I told myself that she was different; she was not like the others."

"That actually makes some sense to me," I said. "People are complicated. All of us have at least some contradictions we explain away."

"Besides," Severus said, looking back at us, "it was the power aspect that attracted me the most. I had feel weak all my life, and the Dark Lord seemed to be offering me a chance to become strong. Targeting muggleborns was just a means to an end."

"That's what _I_'ve been saying!" I said. "They're the scapegoat."

Severus nodded. "Correct."

"So, you were friends in school?" Draco said. "Which house was she in?"

"Gryffindor," Severus said after a moment of hesitation.

Draco's mouth fell open in shock. "_Gryffindor?_"

"See, you're not the only one," I said with a small smirk. "I told you it's not crazy." I glanced at Severus. "But there's one more part you're leaving."

Severus gave me a look as if to say "do I have to?" but after a second, he added quietly, "her name was Lily Evans... before she married. The Dark Lord was not targeting her the night he killed her but her son, Harry Potter."

Draco's look of bewilderment and shock magnified at least ten times. He did not seem able to say anything.

"I know," I said. "Pretty crazy, huh?"

When Draco still did not speak, Severus said, "I think we are getting off the subject."

Draco blinked several times rapidly. "Right. Sorry. I'm trying to take everything in." He paused. "The Dark Lord knew you loved her, yet he still trusted you after he killed her?"

"I did just as Crystal said earlier," Severus said. "I played up the eros aspect of love. I convinced the Dark Lord that I had desired her but now realized there were better women out there for me."

"He doesn't understand agape," Draco said.

Severus nodded. "Precisely."

"So, could it work with me?" I asked anxiously. "I've got plenty of memories I could show him to convince him... I just have to keep him away from the deeper stuff."

"I still don't think this is a good idea," Draco said, though he did not seem angry any longer.

"Could it work?" I asked, ignoring Draco.

"Yes," Severus said slowly. "I believe you have the ability to pull it off, and you certainly have the will. I am sure you are aware of the costs of this decision. You will have to do everything asked of you, including torturing others."

"I already have to do some of that for Carrow," I said. "He says I'm doing pretty well in his class. Both of you could vouch for me."

"But what if it doesn't work?" Draco persisted. I could see frustration entering his features. "What if someone suspects?"

I thought this over for a minute before responding. "You know, I think it might be riskier to _not_ do it. Everyone already knows the lengths I will go to be with you. They might think something is wrong if I _don't_ go home with you. The best way to keep my cover is to do this. It is totally consistent with everything I have been doing up until now." At that moment, I thought I had known all along it would come to this. I had made my decision, and I would accept all of the consequences that resulted from it. "Also, you can protect me better if you're there with me."

As Draco mulled this over, Severus said, "You will have to be on your guard too, Draco. Do you think you will be able to pull it off?"

Draco glanced at me before looking back at Severus. "For Crystal? Yes." He took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. Then he gave me a long, desperate look. "Are you _sure_ you want to do this?"

I did not hesitate as I said, "Yes."

"That settles it then. I won't try to change your mind."

A huge smile formed on my face. He was respecting my freedom. "Thank you."

"I will work out the details and come back to you," Severus said. "You're going to have to let your family know your plans to not return to them."

My smile slowly faded into a frown. "I'll write to George. He can tell everyone." I had still been sending him occasional letters, even though I was technically supposed to be distancing myself from him. I groaned when I realized the full meaning of the situation hit me. "I promised I wouldn't hurt him again."

"You have to prioritize your promises," Severus said.

I nodded my head slowly. "I'll do it."

"One more thing," Draco said, looking at Severus, "Should she officially join and receive the Dark Mark?" There was distaste and resentment in his eyes that reflected what I was feeling about the prospect.

"I am not sure the Dark Lord will allow it," Severus said, seeming to be choosing his words carefully. "She is young, and you are an exception. However," he paused and turned to me, "you need to be eager and willing to receive it in order to maintain credibility. Then accept whatever his decision may be."

"Ok," I said softly. "I can do that." I turned to Draco; his expression had changed to a look of compassion. I smiled slightly when he took my hand in his. "We can do this."

With his free hand, Draco pushed a strand of hair back from my face and kept his hand there. "Of course we can. We will be unstoppable." 


	73. Into the Darkness

I found myself unable to write to George until the beginning of the week before winter break. It would be better that way, anyway. He would receive the letter when it would be too late to reply. Neither he nor my family would be able to stop me. They would have to accept my plans because they would find out about them at the last minute.

I sat on my bed Monday evening with quill and parchment in hand. I had been thinking constantly about what to write, but I could still not decide what I wanted to say. I needed to make this believable, which meant that I could not act like I had gone cold and truly believed in the Death Eater cause. I had to play this right.

Finally, I gave up thinking and just started to write:

Dear George,

I am sorry for what I am about to write. I wish there was another way, but I have exhausted all of my alternatives. I am sure Ginny has told you that I am back together with Draco and also that I have been siding with the Slytherins. What I have been doing has kept me going for now, but it's not good enough. There is still something separating Draco and me. I need to make sure we will remain together no matter what happens. I have decided to join the Death Eaters. Do not try to stop me, for you will only put yourself in danger. I have made up my mind. I need to do this. I wish I could do this without hurting everyone, but I know that I can't. Please tell everyone as gently as you can. Remember me for who I was in the past and not for what I am going to do in the future. I wish you luck with all of your pursuits. I am sorry that our paths have to diverge so sharply. This is what is best for everyone.

Sincerely,  
Crystal Hansen

My hands were shaking as I folded the letter to place it in an envelope. I had to keep telling myself that this was for the best. I forced my feet to move towards the owlery. I needed to do this. They needed to know. And then it was done, and there was no turning back.

***

Draco and I were silent at lunch the day we were to leave. We ignored the chatter of the happy Slytherins excited to be going home for Christmas. I had not received a reply from George, which was the way I liked it. I was receiving suspicious glances from the Gryffindors, though, and I wondered if George had already passed on the news to Ginny.

We left early to meet with the headmaster as planned. Severus seemed to be in a deep, reflective mood as we entered. "Are you ready?"he said after a minute of silence.

Draco and I both nodded wordlessly. There was nothing left to say. We both knew what was going to happen, and we were dreading it. We needed to make this work in order to succeed. One it happened, there would be no going back; this was the point of no return, and I was choosing to enter the darkness.

"We will sit together on the train," Severus went on. "I suggest we keep the conversation to a minimum. You two need to mentally prepare yourselves for the challenge ahead. This will be the hardest task you will likely ever have to complete."

"I know," I said. "We're ready."

Severus nodded. "The Carrows will meet us at King's Cross, where we will Apparate to Malfoy Manor. Now let's go." He swept past us, heading towards the door.

Draco and I exchanged a long look. This was it. We simultaneously reach for each other's hands. Once we were linked, we followed the headmaster out the door to meet our fate.

*

The ride seemed to take longer than usual. I kept quiet as instructed, trying to prepare my mind for what lay ahead. I had to almost make myself believe I wanted to be a Death Eater. I did, of course, but for different reasons than I would profess. I just had to twist everything around to make it believable. I wondered if this would have any permanent effects on my mind.

I was nervous when the train stopped. Severus gave me a long look, though he did not speak. It was enough. I glanced at Draco and nodded. The three of us grabbed our luggage and stepped off the Hogwarts Express.

Amycus and Alecto Carrow were already on the platform. Their faces turned into wide grins when they saw us. "Time to go, young recruit," Amycus said to me.

I held onto Draco and Severus' hands. A second alter, I could feel my body twisting through space. I was still not used to the feeling, and it made me dizzy when he landed. As I became adjusted to my new environment, I saw that we were standing in front of iron gates at the foot of a long drive.

Severus stepped up to gate. He raised his left hand in a salute, and the gate doors creaked open. He glanced back at the rest of us. Draco and I quickly followed after the Carrows. Snowflake trotted by my side.

I could now see that the drive led to a large house. Severus entered without knocking, and the rest of us followed him inside. We were in a hallway lined with portraits. Severus led us across the wall and into a large room. I thought I had been ready for anything, but the sight before me caused me to freeze in shock.

Voldemort was already there. I recognized him from the paper. Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy were off to the side. This was not what had struck me, however. Near Voldemort, Bellatrix and another man were gripping the arms of a girl I recognized. It was Luna.

"Crystal!" Luna said brightly when she saw me.

I cringed inwardly. What was she doing there? She was giving to give us away. I could feel Draco tense beside me. Snowflake ran across the room and disappeared down a hallway.

"Good evening, Severus," Voldemort said in a pleasant voice that seemed oddly out of place. "Amycus, Alecto."

Severus stood to my left, while the Carrow siblings took a stance on Draco's other side, though there was a bit of space between them.

Voldemort's eyes fell on Draco and me. "Draco, you have brought a friend." He glanced at Luna, who was staring at me as well. "And she knows our guest."

I found my throat dry, and I was unable to speak.

"We used to be friends," Luna said. I was grateful that she stopped there.

"Both of them were at the Ministry two years ago!" Bellatrix exclaimed, seeming almost excited at the revelation.

"Then why are you here?" Voldemort asked. His voice was calm and non-threatening, but I still felt nervous.

"I – I didn't fight that night," I somehow managed to get out. "I didn't know what I was getting myself into. Once I was in the scene, I couldn't do it." I quickly looked at Lucius; I knew he could say something to back me up, but would he?

Lucius appeared very uncomfortable and hesitant. Finally, as everyone's eyes were on him, he said in an unusually quiet voice, "It is true. She ran into me, but she would not attack."

"I see," Voldemort mused. He looked back at me. "Have you broken ties with Harry Potter then?"

I nodded. "We were never great friends, but ever since then we've kept butting heads. We have different goals and values, and we keep getting into each others' way. He _attacked_ me at the end of last year. I want nothing more to do with him." This was an easy lie to tell because much of it was based on the truth. I was incredibly annoyed with Harry, even if I was still technically on his side.

Voldemort smiled widely, but it made him look even more sinister instead of friendly. "Very good. Now, what are your goals? Why do you wish to join me?"

"Well," I said, forcing myself not to look around for help, "being around my friends and family won't get me what I want. They don't understand. The people I care about most are under your leadership; why would I not want to follow the same path as them?" I looked first at Draco and then at Severus so that my point would be made.

"Fascinating," Voldemort said. "How did a Gryffindor such as yourself come to care so much about a couple of Slytherins?"

I was careful in formulating a response. I knew he was not merely asking out of curiosity; he was questioning my motives because the situation was so fantastical. "Perhaps I should just show you." I had calmed after talking to him for a bit, and I decided it was best to get this out of the way."

"Very well. Let me into your mind." He stepped a few paces forward so that he was closer to me before locking his eyes into mine.

The eye contact made me uncomfortable, but I forced myself to put up a brave front. I did not attack the foreign presence I felt in my mind. Instead, I diverted it to a memory I wanted him to see. I showed him the first time I met Draco. I was surprised to remember that the cause for our encounter had been the Dark Mark that had been projected in the sky. It was interesting and probably helped my cause.

Then I led Voldemort to a succession of memories involving Draco. I showed him how our relationship developed and the problems it caused. It took all of my will power to focus only on the memories I had planned to show him – the ones that made it seem like I would be loyal to him. I had to be especially careful when I began showing him memories of my special meetings with Severus. I knew I could easily give both of us away, and that would compromise I huge part of the war.

I made sure to show him my confrontations with Harry and everyone else who doubted me. My reunion with Draco was hard, but I had come up with a way to make it work. I chose the disruption we had caused in Amycus Carrow's classroom, and then I immediately switched to the last moment in the rain where we came together. I knew it was risky, but it was the best I could do. I then tried to show my transforming allegiance to Slytherin and my distancing of myself from my old life. By the end, I felt mentally exhausted.

I was relieved when Voldemort finally emerged from my mind. He seemed to be thinking over what he had seen, for it took him a minute before he said anything. "Fascinating," He finally said, addressing no one in particular. "I have never heard a story quite like yours." He paused, and his eyes fell on my again. "I know why you want to join my side, but why should I let you? How do I know you're up to the task?"

I was ready for this question. I thought it would be easier to sell, especially when I would have help. "You let him join," I said, nodding at Draco, who was staring forward with a hard expression on his face. "If he hasn't done much for you, I can help with that. The two of us are better when we are together. We make each other stronger. Both of us were weak last year because we thought we had to be apart; if you let us stay together, both of us will be a lot more effective."

"This is true," Severus said. "I have been training them to fight together. Both of them have performed much better and shown greater power than in my class last year. I advise you to accept the girl's offer."

"Amycus?" Voldemort said, looking at Carrow. "What say you?"

"As long as they feel the need to stay together, I suggest you let them," Amycus said. "I would much prefer they fight _for_ us."

"Very well," Voldemort said as he looked back at me. "I will let you join, but first I need you to do something for me." He turned to his right and faced Luna and her captors. Fortunately, the girl had remained silent the entire time. "This girl's father has been causing me trouble. He continues to defy me by publishing articles in support of Potter. I want you to punish her using the Cruciatus Curse." He looked at me again, and I could see the challenge in his eyes.

I swallowed hard. Hurt Luna? I did not want to, of course, but I had already resigned myself to playing this part. I _had_ to do it. The only question was, would I be able to? I would have to mean the curse in order for it to work. I had used it before on a couple of first years the Carrows had me torture, but that was different because I did not know them; it was easier for me to justify my actions. I had to at least attempt the curse now, for my future depended on it.

"No problem," I said. I did not look at either Draco or Severus as I stepped forward. Bellatrix and the other Death Eater stepped away.

Luna did not show any fear or anger, which I found commendable. "It's ok," she said quietly enough so that only I heard.

I felt a pain in my chest as I took out my wand. I took several deep breaths, letting them out slowly, to prepare myself. _Draco. Do it for Draco. _It was there I found my resolve. This was _necessary_. I raised by wand, pointed it at Luna, and said, "Crucio!"

Luna let out a cry of pain as she fell to the floor. It was hard for me to continue, but I focused all of my attention on my mantra.

I could hear Voldemort laughing behind me. The minutes felt like hours as I waited for instructions. Finally, he said, "That is enough."

I hid my relief as I lowered my wand and concealed it. I made sure my face was hard as I turned to face Voldemort. From the gleeful look on his face, I knew I had passed.

"Wonderful," he said. "Come receive your reward."

My instincts told me to run from him, not to him, but I forced myself to obey. I had always been relatively good at controlling my emotions, but I still felt strained as if I would break at any moment. When Voldemort held out his hand, I knew what I he wanted. I tried not to hesitate in lifting my left arm. I wondered how well Draco was holding up; this could not be easy for him either.

He immediately grabbed onto it with his left hand, and he took out his wand with his right. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I rolled my sleeve back with my free hand. Voldemort pressed his wand against my forearm and muttered something I did not understand.

I sucked in a sharp breath when I felt pain run up my arm. It was over almost as soon as it started. I looked at my arm in amazement upon seeing the Dark Mark staring up at me, the same mark that had caused me so much fear and anxiety in the past. What had I done?

"That will do it," Voldemort said, dropping my arm.

I did not hear what he said next; I was too busy still staring at my arm. When he seemed to be trying to leave, I looked up and paid attention.

"Bellatrix, make sure she is trained properly," he said. "Wormtail, bring our prisoner to the dungeon."

Bellatrix turned to me and gave me a wicked smile that made me feel sick. "We're going to have so much fun," she said. "Draco, take her to your room. I'm sure she won't mind staying with you." She smirked.

I opened my mouth to protest, but then I realized my mistake and closed it. I glanced at Draco, who nodded at me. We picked up our luggage, and I followed him across the room.

When we turned down a hall, I was surprised to sit Snowflake sitting in front of a door. He appeared to be waiting patiently for us.

"How did he know which room was mine?" Draco said, sounding surprised as well.

I shrugged. "Maybe he recognizes your scent." The cat had found him once before, after all.

Draco did not say anything more as he opened the door. Snowflake immediately ran inside and jumped on the bed. After setting my luggage down, I looked around the room. There was a lot of green everywhere, the room was neat, and there were a couple of Quidditch posters on the walls. I was about to comment when the door swung open again.

Lucius strode in first, appearing upset about something. Narcissa followed, and she closed the door securely behind her. Her face was harder to read. Draco and I exchanged glances. Had they ever heard of knocking?

Lucius suddenly rounded on me. "What do you think you're doing?" he growled. "You don't belong here."

A wave of irritation rolled over me at the familiar words. "Why does everyone keep trying to tell me where I belong? Everyone keeps on trying to tell me I'm on one side or the other, but I _know_ where I belong." I walked over to Draco and took a stand by his side. Then I crossed my arms and looked at Lucius defiantly. "Right _here_."

Lucius looked surprised at my reaction, and for a moment, he appeared unable to speak. After a minute, he regained his composure and said, "Yes, but what are you really doing here? Say what you want, but I know you do not intend to truly be loyal to the Dark Lord."

There was something about his words that struck me. I was silent as I let them sink in, reflecting on their meaning. When I spoke again, my voice was calm and thoughtful. "How is it that you know the truth? Everyone else out there believed my act. My family and friends, not mention probably all of Hogwarts, believe it. But you don't know me. How are you the only one to see that I have ulterior motives?"

I seemed to have caught him off guard once again. He exchanged a look with his wife, who stepped forward to speak. "We know what Draco has said of you," Narcissa said in a steady voice. "And we've discovered more by observing him. He's been... different since he met you. This does not lend us to believe that you would give in so easily. You appear stronger than that."

"Well, er, thank you," I said, not sure what else to say.

"It was not a compliment," Lucius said. His harsh tone had returned, and he shot me an accusing look. He pointed at Draco. "What did you do to him?"

"She didn't do anything to me!" Draco protested.

"_I_ didn't force him to do anything," I said. "I merely showed him that there is another way to live. I gave him a choice, but he made the decision himself."

Draco crossed his arms and nodded.

"You still have not told us what you are doing here," Lucius said, suddenly sounding tired and worn.

"Rescue mission," I said. A small smile formed on my face at the thought. Yes, this was going to be good.

"We're going to escape," Draco said.

Lucius frowned. "Escape? That is impossible. Where would you go?"

"America," I said. "Texas, to be exact. Far away from my home state to not raise suspicion."

"Even if that could work, how would you get there?" Narcissa asked. She seemed more wary than skeptical or angry.

"Professor Snape is helping us," Draco said. "He's on our side."

Both of his parents appeared shocked at the news. "Impossible," Lucius said. "He killed Dumbledore!"

"You believed that too?" I said, a smirk twitching on my lips out of amusement. "No, he's on our side. He has been training us in case we need to fight _against_ the Dark Lord. You're going to have to take my word for it; I can't tell you the reason I know for sure he is on our side, though it is a good one."

"Indeed, it is," Draco said, smirking as well.

"Anyway, both of us wanted to ask you two to join us," I said.

The adults appeared surprised again. "What?" Lucius said. "Why would we do such a thing?"

"Because this," I said, motioning around the room, "is not a good life. You are not free. Go with us because it is better for you. If that's not enough, do it for love." I glanced at Draco. "Keep your family together."

"Crystal, this is a lot to take in," Narcissa said.

I looked at her and nodded. "I know. We don't have to talk about it now. We've got the whole weekend to convince you." I turned to Draco again and saw that he did not look so certain. I, however, felt very hopefully about the situation. We just had to find a way to appeal to them. They knew love, so it could not be that hard, right? 


	74. Plan in Motion

Dinner was awkward and uncomfortable. We were all seated at the end of a long table. Draco and I were on one side while Lucius, Narcissa, and Bellatrix were on the other. There was hardly any talking at all expect for the occasional pro-Voldemort and anti-muggle remarks from Bellatrix. The food was really, good though. Still, I was glad when I was allowed to leave.

Draco and I walked back to his room together in silence. Only once we were safely inside with the door closed did either of us dare to speak. "What do we do now?" Draco asked.

I walked over to the bed and sat down. Snowflake immediately came over to me and sat in my lap. I absentmindedly stroked his back. "We can't do anything too soon," I said. "If we get into an argument, it could end everything. Let's start with actions first."

Draco blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Treat them the way I've treated you from the begging," I said. "Treat them kindly and answer any questions if they come to us. Just show them love."

"That's easy for you to say," Draco said, crossing his arms. "You don't know my parents." He paused. "My father, more like it. This might work on my mother."

I let out a short sigh. "Just try, ok? He might surprise you."

Draco looked away, and I could tell he was not convinced. "Fine. I'll do it for you."

I wished he would do it for his father, but I would have to take what I could get. For now, I decided it was best to call it a day. "Can I take a shower?"

Draco's face softened at the change of subject, and he nodded. He pointed to a door to his right. "That leads to a bathroom with a tub and shower. I'll find somewhere else to get ready."

I nodded. "Ok. Thanks." I quickly found my bathroom supplies in my luggage, and then I moved in the direction Draco had indicated.

Draco was gone when I returned to the room. I took the chance to get out Snowflake's bowl and feed him for the night. He ran over immediately, obviously appreciating the thought. Then I found a good novel and hopped on the bed to read.

I looked up when I heard the door creak opened. Draco entered, closing the door behind him, and I gave him a small smile. He was wearing a long sleeve t-shirt and sweatpants. I had never seen him dressed so casually.

"I'm sorry about this," He said, motioning to the bed. "My aunt... she makes assumptions. I can sleep on the floor if you would be more comfortable."

"That's alright," I said, though I smiled at the offer. He really could be sweet without even realizing it. "There's room for both of us." As I set my book on the end table, I wondered if I should be giving this more thought, but I was too tired to think about it. I moved over so that I was fully on the left side of the bed, and I got under the covers.

Draco seemed to be the one who was uncomfortable as he climbed into the right side of the queen bed. He laid his head on the pillow and turned to look at him, appearing as if he did not know what he was supposed to do. "Er, good night," he said somewhat awkwardly.

I, on the other hand, felt perfectly at ease, and I smiled at him. "Good night, Draco."

***

I awoke feeling better than I had in a long time. Without opening my eyes, I lay there wondering about this until reality settled in. I was in Draco's house... in his bed. And I was a Death Eater.

I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. I was now laying right next to Draco, my head on his chest and our arms loosely around each other. Snowflake was laying partially on both of our stomachs. He was still fast asleep. I smiled at the cat. He looked so peaceful, and for some reason, I felt the same way.

I turned my head so that I could observe Draco's face. While he was sleeping, he looked like he had nothing in the world to worry about. I only wished that could be true. I thought about the future plans we had made together for after this war was ever. Would they ever come to pass? I had to believe so in order to have the strength to continue with this plan.

Draco began to stir. He opened his eyes, and they immediately found mine. At first, he seemed confused, but then his mouth formed a small smile. "Good morning," he said softly.

"Good morning," I said back to him. I could get used to waking up with him beside me. If only... I attempted to sit up, and the movement woke Snowflake. The cat stood up, stretched, and walked to the end of the bed, where he promptly laid down again.

Draco sat up beside me, keeping his arm around my waist. "This is going to be an interesting day," he murmured.

I nodded. I wished I had thought of a more detailed plan, but I did not have much. I would have to work with what I found. I stretched my arms above my head, and my sleeves fell down. I frowned when I caught sight of the Dark Mark on my left forearm. I held the arm close to me as I examined it.

Draco touched my right arm and pulled it away from my left. I turned my head to look at him. "It means nothing," he said, echoing the words I had once spoken to him.

I shook my head. "No. It's a symbol, and symbols only have the meaning that you give them." I held my arm up with the Mark. "To me, this symbolizes love and resistance."

Draco looked at me as if I had said something very thought-provoking. I dropped my arm, and we sat there in silence.

There was a knock on the door. I tensed.

"Come in," Draco said.

I relaxed when I saw that it was only Narcissa. Of the three adults living in the house, I liked her the best. She appeared hesitant and almost uncharacteristically timid as she entered the room, closing the door behind her. "Good morning," she said calmly.

"Good morning," Draco said. He did not move from his position on the bed.

I gave her a small smile. "Hello."

Narcissa sat on the edge of the bed near Snowflake. The cat stood up and rubbed against her, meowing. She seemed surprised at his actions, and she looked to Draco and me as if for an explanation.

"That's Snowflake," I said. "Draco gave him to me for my 15th birthday."

Narcissa glanced down at the cat, which was looking at her expectantly. She slowly lifted her hand brought it down on his back. Snowflake purred as she stroked his fur. She stared at the cat as she continued this for a minute. Then she looked up at me and said, "Are you comfortable, Crystal?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Well, considering the circumstances."

"Despite the danger, I'm feeling better than I ever did last year," Draco said.

"So I was right," I said, looking at him with small smirk.

"Yes," Draco replied with no sign of wavering or regret on his face.

"I don't quite understand what it is going on here," Narcissa began slowly, "but it must be good." Her eyes found mine, and I felt strangely calm. "I've never seen Draco happier than when he is with you. Thank you for looking out for him."

A small smile formed on my face. "Of course." I glanced at Draco. "I've always tried to look out for him, even when he didn't want me to."

Draco glanced down at his hands in his lap. "Yeah, well, it's a good thing you did. I don't know what I would have done without you."

I appreciated the effort it took for him to admit the truth, especially in front of his mother. I placed my hand over his and smiled at him. I looked up and caught my gaze. Another minute of silence passed.

"Do you two really think you can make it to America?" Narcissa said to break it.

"We're going to try," Draco said. "If we can't, we'll fight."

"Against us," Narcissa said.

"If that is what you choose," I replied, hoping she understood my meaning.

Narcissa fixed her eyes on her son. "You're doing this for her?"

Draco shook his head. "It's more than that, Mum. I'm doing this for myself. I can't lead this life anymore. It was never what I wanted."

Narcissa frowned. "You never said anything."

"I couldn't! Not with Father walking around gloating about the Dark Lord's return." He clenched his jaw, and I could see frustration in his eyes. "I've always been afraid to go against him. He seems so sure of everything... I wanted to believe that what he was saying was true. I wanted to be special. I wanted to be superior. Any doubts I had I pushed back." He glanced at me and his expression softened. "Until Crystal got through to me."

I gave him a small smile. He had never admitted this even to me. It was a good thing he was talking about it now.

"I had no idea," Narcissa said softly. "I am sorry for the part I played."

"You two should talk in private," I said. I had the idea that this would prove more useful in getting her to join us. "He's probably got a lot to tell you."

Narcissa gave Draco a long look. Then she dipped her head and said, "We should do so after breakfast. Bellatrix is cooking."

I blinked. "She can cook?"

"Quite well," Draco said, smirking in apparent amusement.

Narcissa stood up from the bed. "I'll let you two get ready. Be in the dining room as soon as you are able."

"Alright," Draco said. When she was gone, he looked at me in mild surprise. "That went surprisingly well."

I smiled. "I told you this can work. We have to get her first, and then we can work on your dad."

Draco shrugged. "We'll see."

*

While Draco left with his mother after breakfast, I was stuck with Bellatrix to endure her "training." After Carrow's class, it was not too bad. For most of the time, she just went over the rules and expectations anyway. Still, she creeped me out, and I was glad when I was able to escape her.

Then I was free to roam the manor by myself. It was good for me to be alone with my thoughts. I needed to rehearse the plan and come up with a strategy. I was so intent on my own mind, however, that I lost sight of the physical world.

"Be careful," a cold voice said.

Someone grabbed my arms, and I looked up in surprise to see that Lucius Malfoy had stopped me form running into him. I blinked. "Sorry."  
He dropped his arms to his sides and looked me over skeptically. "What were you doing?"

"Just thinking," I said. "I do it a lot."

"What is Draco doing with Narcissa?"

"Someone's paranoid," I said, raising my eyebrows at him. "They're just talking. Draco is probably explaining what he's gone through these past few years. Even before he met me, he never told you guys what he was feeling."

"That's preposterous," Lucius said. "Draco was fine until he met you."

The idea was so ridiculous that I almost laughed. Instead, I shook my head sadly. "I'm sorry, but you're wrong. Maybe you just _assumed_ everything was fine. Did you ever ask him how he was feeling? Did you ask him what _he_ wanted to do with his life?"

"He knew what was expected of him!" He was getting defensive, and I took this as a good sign.

"I know what it's like to live under expectation." My voice took on a firmer tone, yet I still tried to be gentle. "I know what it's like to feel like my own opinions, beliefs, and values are ignored. Even when my parents are right, it makes me feel better when they _listen_ to me. Ten we can work through a solution _together_. That doesn't always happen, and though I love my parents, it's something I regret."

Uncertainty flashed in Lucius' eyes, and he looked away. He did not speak.

"I suggest you talk to him," I said. "At the very least, talk to your wife about what he said to her. You might learn something." I felt it was best to leave then. I had probably given him enough to think about. Besides, there would be no getting through to him until he understood this first fundamental point.

***

Narcissa did not agree to join us within the next couple of days, but she said she would think about it. I was confident that Draco and I would be able to get her to join our side. Her husband, however, was a different matter. Neither of us was able to get a long conversation out of Lucius. I had a plan for Christmas, and I hoped it would help.

It was the day before Christmas Eve now, and I was wandering the manor with Draco by my side. "Mother doesn't know if our plan will work," Draco said to break the silence. I looked straight ahead as he spoke. "Will the Dark Lord go after America once he conquers Europe?"

"Probably," I said. "He's going to be in for a fight, though. It would be better for him to outright attack the country rather than try to persuade wizards to join him. The pureblood thing won't go over well there."

Draco glanced at me. "Because of the different culture?"

I nodded. "Right?"

"How did that come to be? I thought England and the States were supposed to be similar?"

"They are," I said. "England's just been a bit slower in its search for liberty, especially amongst wizards. Wizards and muggles don't share all of the same values in England as they do in America. It goes all the way back to the American Revolution."

"When America broke free from England?"

He seemed interested in the topic, and I was happy to talk about it, since it was one of my favorites. I smiled. "Yes. You have to understand the historical context. The idea of liberty and rights is very revolutionary. Purebloods are not unique in their desire for superiority and dominance. That is something that seems to be inherent in human nature. There have been countless examples throughout history. Sometimes the reason for one group subordinating another is ability and achievement, but often it's something biological, like race for muggles and blood for wizards."

Draco's eyebrows had furrowed in thought. He was not looking at me anywhere. "What was the problem England?"

"Monarchy," I said. "The king of England believed he was better than his subjects, especially those in the American colonies, so he treated them badly like taxing them without their consent. Many colonists had settled in America to escape English persecution, including wizards."

"Really?" Draco said in surprise.

I nodded. "That's how wizards began to populate America."

"But they were still persecuted," Draco pointed out. "What about the Salem Witch Trials?"

"True. In fact, certain religious groups escaping persecution similarly persecuted other groups._ They _wanted to be the ones who were free and right, not others." "I shrugged. "Human nature. However, everyone came together to fight the common enemy of the British. A culture had developed in the colonies centering on liberty and equality. Wizards were one of the groups who jumped at the opportunity to promote equality."

"Equality?" Draco said, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. "Surely you're not suggesting American wizards think they're equal to muggles."

I smiled, for I knew he was falling prey to a common misconception. "Equality does not mean everyone has equal abilities and skills. The French Revolution failed because it believed in this type of equality. Pursuing equality of outcome means forcing those who greater abilities to stand equal to those of lesser ability. If French wizards had bought this idea, which they didn't, they would have advocated wizards giving up their powers because it was unfair they had them when muggles did not."

"That's absurd!"

I smiled slightly and nodded. He understood the fundamental point I was trying to make. Now I just had to redirect his thinking. "It is. Among muggles, this type of equality means redistributing wealth and giving equal stuff to those who work unequally. This kind of equality necessarily sacrifices the kind of equality the Americans believed in: equality of _rights_. Humans are not equal in talent, but they are created equal in rights. This means that there is no natural hierarchy or rulers and subordinates. Everyone is born free. No one has the right to rule others or take away their rights. Humans have the right to live their lives however they want without interference from others.

"Wizards found this compelling because it meant that they would not be persecuted by muggles. In return, they themselves would not try to subjugate muggles. In this way, liberty is like a compact of reciprocal non-aggression. Liberty is at the heart of what makes America special. No other country has been founded on the idea of equal rights. It has been so successful that it appeals to even wizards, and so wizard and muggle culture in America have been mixed ever since the Revolutionary War. We interact and trade with each other on a daily basis, though they aren't aware of out powers. American muggles view magic as a gift, not a right to superiority. We all have equal rights as humans."

Some time ago, we had stopped walking and turned to each other. Draco seemed deep in thought. "I have never heard anything like that before," he said after several long minutes. "It does have a certain appeal to it. If we cannot guarantee we will not be oppressed, it is better to make this compact."

I nodded. "That's the essence of the social compact, which was developed during the Enlightenment but wasn't really put into practice until the American Revolution. You can see how this also explains why Americans care about muggle history."

"Right," Draco said. "It's actually quite fascinating. You might want to try talking to my parents about it."

"Maybe," I said. I was not sure if I could get them to believe in rights, but I had to at least try. At the very least, I had gotten Draco to see wizard-muggle relations in a whole new way. I could see a positive future ahead for him if he survived this war.


	75. Christmas Plans

Christmas Eve passed by like any normal day. Draco told me his family always celebrated on Christmas Day, so everything was fine. I knew we were quickly running out of time. If I wanted something to happen, Christmas had to be the day. What better day to teach about love and family? I could not let this opportunity pass me by.

I was awoken by Draco, who was lying beside me. We were both on our sides, facing each other. "Merry Christmas, Crystal," he said softly before kissing my forehead.

"Merry Christmas, Draco," I said, smiling at him. I lay there for another minute before deciding to get up and get ready for the day; it was going to be a big one.

The adults were already at the table when we entered the dining room together. "Good morning," Narcissa said as she looked up at us.

"Good morning, Mum," Draco said. "Merry Christmas."

A faint smile appeared on her face. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas!" I said brightly, looking around at everyone. A positive attitude was a must for this occasion. "When are we celebrating?"

Lucius seemed to hesitate before saying, "After breakfast would be nice."

I nodded. "Great."

The family always ate slowly, and I matched their pace. Silence did not usually bother me, but it felt awkward amongst them. It was definitely different than the meals I shared with my own family. With a pang, I wondered how they were doing without me. Were they still exchanging presents out of celebration, or were they mourning their perceived failure?

I had to force myself to stop thinking about them. Even though I knew I could protect my mind from attacks, I was afraid that my thoughts and emotions would show on my face. I tried to appear as nonchalant as possible. Thankfully, it seemed to work.

I was the first to finish. I looked around at everyone else as I waited for them to finish. I could not read anyone else's expressions. I wondered if the Malfoys were trying to hide something form Bellatrix like I was. I still did not have Narcissa on my side, but I was hoping that would change after today.

"Shall we celebrate?" Bellatrix said once everyone had eaten. She took out her wand and cleared the table. "To the living room."

I stood up and walked behind Draco. "Do you mind if I do a little decorating?" I asked out loud. I remembered seeing a tree in the living room, but otherwise it was absent of Christmas spirit. I hoped this request was not giving away too much.

"I do not mind," Bellatrix said. She glanced at her sister. "What do you think?"

"That is fine with me," Narcissa calmly said, glancing back at me for a second.

Draco looked at me with raised eyebrows, but I simply smiled at him. This was going to be great. Decorations would put us into the correct mood.

Just as I had suspected, the living room was bare except for the pine tree in the corner. The tree itself was only decorated with tinsel and the presents beneath it. I pulled out my wand, grinning at the thought that I could now use magic outside of school. I stepped forward and got to work.

I decorated the tree with bulbs, ornaments, and a star on top. Then I made strings of red and green cross the ceiling in the room. I saw Draco roll his eyes when I made mistletoe spring up over the doorway. Lastly, I turned to the music box and enchanted it to begin playing old Christmas music. I looked around at everyone and smiled. "What do you think?"

"Festive," Lucius commented.

I grinned at him. "Thanks."

"Let's get to the presents," Bellatrix said impatiently. "That's the reason we're all here."

_Not all of us_, I thought, but I said nothing. We all gathered around the tree. The adults sat in chairs while Draco and I knelt on the floor. It was time to begin.

Each person gave out their presents one at a time. I waited to go last to make my point more effective. Draco took his turn right before me. He turned to me after giving his parents and aunt simple gifts. "Merry Christmas, Crystal," he said. Then he turned to the tree and pulled out a very long gift.

I was curious as I took the present form him. What could he have wrapped that was almost as tall as me? One end bulged out, and the rest of it was thin. I practically ripped the paper off to discover the inside content. I let out a gasp when I realized I was holding a Nimbus 2001 broomstick. "Wow," I murmured. I looked up at Draco in wonder. "Thank you." The gift was personal and meant a lot to me.

Draco shrugged his shoulders and looked away. "It was nothing."

I knew we could not be overly overt in our affection, so I left it at that. "I guess it's my turn." I scooted closer to the tree and pulled out my presents. "First, I have something for everyone." I reached for the tallest bag in my pile. Putting my hand inside, I pulled out chocolate cupcakes. "I made them myself."

"Cupcakes?" Lucius said with raised eyebrows.

I nodded. "Yep. They're good, and chocolate is healthy and gives you good emotions."

"That's, er, nice," Bellatrix said awkwardly.

I just smiled as I handed out two cupcakes to each person. "Thank you, dear," Narcissa said.

"I've had these before," Draco said. "They are good."

"Thanks," I said with a grin. I handed him a wrapped package. "Here you go."

His gift was small and rectangular. He ripped off the wrapping paper to reveal a small box. He appeared curiously as he took of the top and picked up the object inside. Confusion flashed on his face, and he glanced at me. "What is it?"

I smiled. "It's a special compass. It will point you in the direction you need to go?"

"And where is that?"

"Wherever you want to go, which may be an unconscious desire." I shrugged. "My father gave it to me a while back, but it only frustrated me. Maybe you'll find some use for it."

"Thank you," Draco said as he set the gift down. He offered me a small smile.

"You're welcome," I said. I glanced at my two remaining presents. They appeared identical. I picked them up, handing one to each of Draco's parents. "Merry Christmas."

Both of them seemed surprised that I had gotten them something. They opened them at the same time. Both gifts were two different kinds of scented candles. I had not been sure what they liked, so I decided to go with spicing up their home.

"These are nice," Narcissa said. "Thank you, Crystal."

"Yes, thank you," said Lucius.

I smiled at them. "You're welcome."

Silence spread throughout the room. The only sound was the Christmas music playing in the background. I was not really sure what I should do. I could not continue with my plan until Bellatrix was out of the room. Even asking her kindly to leave would raise suspicion. Fortunately, she did not seem bothered by my actions so far.

Draco's interest seemed to pique when a slow song came on. He stood up and then offered his hand to me. "Crystal, would you like to dance?"

I looked up at him with a warm smile. That was quite a romantic gesture, and appreciated the thought. "Of course," I said as I took his hand and stood up. He held my right hand loosely in his left and placed his right hand on my waist, while put my left hand on his shoulder.

We slowly moved to the music together. Draco's eyes were locked onto mine, and his gaze was intense. I felt calm and happy as we continued to dance. I had been worried about this Christmas, but right now, everything felt perfect.

"Why don't you two ever dance like that?" Bellatrix asked.

"We can dance," Narcissa said. "Can't we, dear?"

"Of course," Lucius said gruffly.

I heard the two of them shuffling around. A moment later, out of the corner of my eye, I could see them get into a dancing position as well. I smiled to myself. This was most excellent. Dancing produced endorphins, which produced a feeling of happiness. Both of them were sure to be in a good mood after this.

Draco and I stopped moving once the song ended, but we did not break apart. Draco leaned his forehead against mine and stared into my eyes. I wanted to stay there like that forever, but I knew we had to move on. Then an idea came to me. "Do you want to go outside?" I asked softly. "My sisters and I always played in the snow on Christmas. We could just walk around, though, if you want."

Draco pulled back and seemed to consider this. "Does Snowflake like snow?" he asked.

I smirked. "Yep. We can go get him."

Draco nodded. "Alright. Let's do it."

I smiled at him before glancing back at his parents, who were now standing together. "Do you want to come?"

"We're fine," Lucius said.

"But thank you for asking," Narcissa added.

I did not worry about them too much as I walked off with Draco to find my cat. Perhaps they would come out later out of curiosity. If not, I was still going to try to find a way to talk to him. This was going to be an amazing Christmas.

  
*

Draco and I ended up playing in the snow. It was loads of fun, and it reminded me of good time back in Minnesota. We were both happy and tired as we returned to the house, where dinner waited us. Butterbeer was laid out, which I appreciated. The hot drink made me feel warm and good.

All of us broke up after that, which I found a good thing. Now there were some people I needed to run into alone. I got my chance quicker than I thought I would.

After roaming the manner a bit, I found myself back in the living room where we had celebrated Christmas. The festive look I had given the room drew me back to it. I was surprised to see Lucius there, staring intently into the fireplace. He did not seem to notice when I approached. "Lucius?" I said cautiously.

Lucius snapped his head in my direction. His eyes were blazing with something I did not understand. "What are you up to?" he asked, his voice stern. "What are your motives? Why are you treating us in this way?"

I blinked. "How am I supposed to be treating you?"

"We should be enemies," Lucius said. "What would your father think?"

"He's probably furious about all of this," I said, "but that's not enough to hold me back. I'm just doing what I think is right."

"I do not understand," Lucius said. I could see a mixture of frustration and anger in his eyes.

"It took Draco awhile to understand too," I said. I paused. "You know what I want."

"Why? You should hate me. Why would you want me to join you?"

"Because you're family," I said simply. "You're Draco's family and mine, if you want it. I know he loves you, and I'm doing this mostly for him. If you want what's best for him, you will join us."

Lucius looked away. "I know what's best for him."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really? You think continuing to pander to the Dark Lord is what's best for him? Do you have any idea what he went through last year?"

"It was an honor for him to be chosen for such a task."

"It was not an honor; it was punishment for _your_ mistake!" I exclaimed, causing Lucius to look at me in surprise. "Even Narcissa knew better and has Severus protect him. The Dark Lord knew Draco was not a killer, something you apparently still cannot grasp, and he's _your_ son. Maybe the Dark Lord should have known better and chosen a more fitting punishment. The people who got hurt the most were Draco and _me_. Last year was absolute torture for the both of us, and you want him to go back to that?"

Lucius' eyes were wide in shock. For a moment, he seemed unable to speak. "I didn't I – I didn't know," he stammered. "I had no idea..."

"Yeah, well, maybe if you had talked to him, you would have known," I said, my eyes narrowed. "If you won't do this for yourself, do it for _him_. Come with us out of loyalty to your family, which is more important than anything the Dark Lord could ever give you."

Lucius lowered his head and did not respond.

"And talk to Draco," I said as I turned to leave. "I'm sure he has a lot to say to you."

*

Narcissa found me wandering the halls later that afternoon. We were coming in opposite directions, and she asked to accompany me to wherever I was going. I happened to not be going anywhere in particular, so the two of us simply walked through the large house in silence at first.

Then, Narcissa said, "Your gifts were very thoughtful, and I enjoyed your decorations. I cannot think of such a memorable Christmas since I was a child."

I glanced at her and smiled slightly. "Thank you." I was glad to have been able to get through to her. Plus, it was good to be appreciated.

"Draco is lucky to have you," Narcissa went on. She was looking straight ahead and not at me. I could not read her expression. "I am sure the both of you would be fine."

"And I'm sure he'd love to have you with us," I said. "He loves you a lot."

"I know, and I love him. But-" She paused, appearing hesitant. "What about Lucius? I am afraid he will be hard to convince to abandon his post, and I am not sure I could leave without him."

"Maybe he would be more willing to leave if you did decide to join us."

Narcissa glanced at me, her look calculating. "Maybe," she said slowly.

"Besides, you need to do what it best for you, regardless of what he chooses," I added. "You can't let him lead you down the wrong path. And would you really be willing to let go of Draco? I do not mean to make you choose between them, but that is what it may come down to. I can see that family means a lot to you. If you want my opinion, I think that choosing family means joining Draco and me. You can have a better life in Texas away from all of this. If would be Lucius who would be choosing against family if he decided not to join us."

"You may be right," Narcissa said softly as she looked away. "I will think about."

"That's all I ask," I replied just as quietly. Somehow, someway, this had to work. I could not exactly explain it, but I needed this family to be whole. 


	76. Understanding

Christmas break was coming to a close. I was generally satisfied with what I had accomplished so far. I had not expected to complete my mission over the course of two weeks. I knew I was going to have to give Lucius and Narcissa time to think about what had happened and what I had been said. I would be coming back soon for Easter break, though, and hopefully then I would be able to finish what I started.

There was one thing that was increasingly bothering me as the day of departure grew sooner. It was Friday now, and I was sitting on Draco's bed thinking hard. Snowflake hopped up onto the bed next to me and meowed. I stroked his back without looking at him or moving my position.

The door opened, and I guessed it was Draco who walked in. My guess was confirmed when he said, "What are you doing?"

I lifted my head to look at him. "Thinking." I hesitated before deciding I could talk to him about this. "I want to see Luna."

Draco's eyebrows flew up in surprise. "What? The prisoner?"

I nodded. "I want to talk to her."

Draco frowned, showing obvious disapproval. "I do not think that is a good idea. What if you give something away?"

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter. Luna wouldn't tell on us."

"There are other prisoners besides her," he said slowly.

"It would be their word against ours," I responded. When he still did not look happy, I added, "I can use a memory charm if this backfires. Can you just come with me and keep watch?" I did not want t go down to the cellar on my own in case Bellatrix decided to check up on the prisoners at the same time.

Draco let out a heavy sigh. "Fine," he said rather reluctantly. "Let's get this over with."

I gave him a small smile as I stood up. "Thank you."

"Meow."

I glanced at Snowflake, who was still sitting on the bed watching me curiously. "Sorry, but you're going to have to stay here," I said.

Draco opened the door for me, and we both stepped out into the hall. As we walked to the cellar, I went over what I wanted to say in my head. I hoped Luna would not be mad at me for what I had done, though I had never seen her angry before in my life. I was entirely unsure about what to expect now.

We had to take out our wands for light when we entered a dark passageway. We descended a steep flight of stairs, and I could see a heavy door at the bottom. "I'll stay here," Draco whispered. "There's nothing inside to protect you. Call me if you need help."

I nodded. I understood the risks. I would be powerless if the prisoners overpowered me and stole my wand. "I'll be fine." Draco helped me lift open the door, and then I slipped inside.

The cellar was dark and damp. My wand only gave enough light for me to see directly in front of me. My heart hammered in my chest as I searched for a sign of life. Maybe this had not been such a good idea after all. "Luna?" I said cautiously.

"Crystal?" came Luna's voice, and I saw a shadow moving closer. "Is that you?"

"Yes," I said with a weak smile. "How are you doing?"

Luna was standing right in front of me now. My wand gave her ace an eerie glow. She appeared calm and looked relatively taken-care of. "Just fine, thanks," she said politely. "It is nice of you to visit."

I felt a flash of guilt, which I was sure showed on my face. "Luna, I want to apologize... for this... and for what I did when you first got here..." I was not sure what else I could say without giving too much away, so I just stared at her helplessly.

However, Luna did not seem the slightest bit angry. In fact, there seemed to be some sort of understanding in her eyes. "It's alright," she said. "You did it for Draco. You need to be with him."

"Right," I mumbled, glancing down at the floor. She had heard the story I had given to Voldemort. I wondered if she believed it or if she could see that there was more too it. I knew it was too risky to ask. "I hope this will be all over soon. They we can all be on the same side again." I looked up anxiously.

Luna smiled. "Yes, that will be nice."

I felt a rush of gratitude for her patience and understanding, but guilt was underlying this because of knowledge of what I was doing and what I had done. "Is there anything you need?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

I bit my lip as silence filled the room. Then I said, "Well, I should get going. I'll be heading back to school soon. Take care of yourself."  
"Good luck with Draco," Luna said as I turned my back.

I walked towards the door, trying not to think about the encounter. I knew I would have much to reflect on in the future. Draco was standing on the other side of the door when I exited the cellar. "It's alright," I whispered.

Draco nodded wordlessly. The two of us ascended the steps. Luckily, we were able to emerge from the dark hallway without anyone spotting us. My mini mission was complete.

***

Breaks were supposed to be relaxing, but I found myself exhausted the Saturday before we were to return to Hogwarts. It had been hard being on my guard constantly. It was worse here than at school. I was proud of myself for actually being able to get through two full weeks.

After feeding Snowflake, Draco and I sat on the edge of his bed discussing what we had accomplished. "I think we have a pretty good shot at winning this," I said. "Your mom seems about ready to come over."

Draco nodded slowly. "I do think you are right about her." He was frowning, though, and in his silence, I could guess why. His hand was resting on his knee, and I placed my own hand over it.

"You dad will come around," I said softly.

"I hope you're right," Draco murmured. "Though, I do not understand why you still try."

I smiled slightly. "Neither does he."

Draco's gaze softened. "Thank you for everything you're doing." He brought his free hand up and brushed it against my cheek. "I appreciate it."

I warm feeling filled me, and I could not help but smile at him. "You're welcome. I'm always here for you."

There was love and adoration in his eyes as he continued to stare at me. Then he moved closer, took his hand from out of under mind and wrapped it around my waist, and pressed his lips against mine.

I responded immediately by kissing him back. The situation at Malfoy Manor had been too intense for us to have much time to be affectionate towards one another, and I found that I missed the feelings that surfaced when he was close to him. I moved my hands so that they were at the back of his neck. He responded by kissing me harder, which I willingly complied with. I closed my eyes and smiled into the kiss.

Draco turned his body and gently bushed me down so that my back was on the bed with him over me. Just as the kiss was growing more intense, he pulled back suddenly like he had been burnt.

I frowned as I sat up and looked at him. He was at the head of the bed with his back turned to me. "Draco?" I said cautiously. "Are you alright? Did I do something wrong?"

"Of course not," Draco said gruffly. Then he turned to me, and I could see his face torn with tension and frustration. "I only-" He sighed heavily, lowering his head. When he looked at me again, I could see weariness etched on his face. "It was me. I was afraid I was going too far."

My eyebrows raised in surprise. I understood what he was talking about, but I was still confused as to his motivations. "You mean, you don't want to-"

"I _want_ to," Draco said forcefully, "but not now. Not here." He seemed awkward as he went on but then appeared to calm as his eyes found mine. "It wouldn't be fair to you. This isn't how it's supposed to happen."

I felt a sudden rush of warmth for him at his words. He really could be thoughtful when he wanted to be. "Thank you," I said, smiling. "Someday..."

Draco nodded. "Not today."

I wanted to reach out and touched him, but I figured this would be inappropriate considering the situation, so I held back. "Should we get ready for bed?"

Draco nodded again and stood up. By this time, we had a familiar routine. We each gathered our things and went our separate ways.

Snowflake was waiting for us on the edge of the bed when we returned. I smiled and scratched the cat on his head as I passed. Draco got into the bed first. I kept my eyes on him as I crawled in at my side. I had an overwhelming desire to be near him, which I knew would end up happening anyway. He must have realized the same thing, for he said, "Alright. Come here."

I smiled at him before scooting closer. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest. He held his arms around me loosely and gently put his head against mine. "I wish everything could be different," he said quietly. "I wish for us to be happy."

"Me too," I whispered. "I want to be married someday."

The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was Draco saying, "I will do everything I can to make that happen."

***

Narcissa accompanied Draco and me to King's Cross. The trip was short and silent. Soon, we were on the platform that would take us back off to Hogwarts. Draco and I were just stepping forward when I heard someone call my name.

I cringed. I knew that voice, and he was one of the last people I wanted to talk to at the moment. I wondered if I could act like I hadn't heard him but then decided against it. Draco seemed annoyed as I turned around to greet George, who was running towards me. "Do you need something?" I asked coolly.

"Get lost, Weasley," Draco growled.

George leaned over with his hands against his knees, panting heavily. When he got his breath, he stood up and glared at Draco before turning back to me. "Is it true? Did you really do it?"

"Of course it's true," I said stiffly. "I wouldn't lie."

I hated the pain that I saw flash in his eyes but I knew it was necessary. "Why?"

"You know why."

George shook his head. "I don't believe it. I don't believe that you're really with it."

I gritted my teeth. I did not need him to doubt me even though he was right. There was too much to lose. "George, you _have_ to believe me. Do you understand?" I stared into his eyes intently, trying to get him to see my hidden meaning.

George grew calm as he stared back at me for a minute. Then he quietly said, "Show me?"

I knew what he meant. I glanced at Draco, who did not look happy. I decided that agreeing to George's request would likely get him off my back the quickest, so I nodded at him. I laid my arm flat and pulled my sleeve up so that only he could see. At his look of horror, I knew I had succeeded.

He did not try to stop me as I turned and walked to the train with Draco by my side. We found an empty compartment and sat next to each other. My heart was heavy with the weight of what I had done. There was no turning back. 


	77. Effects

I quickly readjusted back to life at Hogwarts. Surprisingly, I was not treated much differently than before I had become a Death Eater. Either the news had not spread like I thought it would or it did not really shock anyone. I was grateful for it nonetheless. I had become used to the hostile stares and looks I got in Gryffindor Tower, so I tried to avoid it as much as possible. It was mostly not an issue because I was usually with Draco.

Only the Slytherins with a Death Eater parent seemed to know about my new status as well. They had the sense to not mention it much, though that could have been because they did not want me to receive preferential treatment from the Carrows and not out of concern for negative treatment I may receive. Again, I was glad that everything was pretty much the same as always.

My sisters and old friends pretty much ignored me. I supposed this was better than having them show hatred, but it still left a bad feeling in my stomach. They surely all knew the truth, and I was a traitor in their eyes. There was nothing more I could do.

Draco and I were ready to report back to Severus the first Thursday that we returned. I found myself eager to talk about what I thought we had accomplished. Draco was more sullen, which was fine because we would be able to relate varying perspectives. I was sure Severus would be able to help us figure out where we should be heading in the future.

Out of habit, we were cautious in entering the secret passageway that led to the headmaster's office. I knocked when we arrived at the door. Then we walked in.

Severus had been doing something at his desk, but upon seeing us enter, he stood up and made his way towards us. "Good evening, Crystal, Draco."

"Good evening, sir," Draco said.

"'Evening," I added.

"I presume everything went well?" Severus said. Draco and I followed him back to his desk. The three of us sat down.

"As well as it could have gone," said Draco.

"No one suspects anything?"

I shook my head. "Bellatrix was one the one we had to really look out for, and she was relatively easy to avoid. There were no close calls."

Severus nodded. "Good." He fixated his eyes on Draco. "And what of your parents?"

Draco shifted in his seat. He was staring down at his lap. "My Mum is accepting of the idea of escape. I think she will join us."

"She just doesn't want to leave Lucius," I added, "who has been a lot harder to convince." I glanced at Draco. "I see where you get your stubbornness from."

Draco shot me a look. "Hey! Did it really take you that long to get through to me?"

I smirked. "Kind of."

"We don't have that kind of time," Draco muttered as he tore his gaze away.

"You will have to do what you can with the time you are given," Severus said. "It seems you are off to a good start. Your work is impressive."

I smiled slightly. "Thank you. Have you had any luck with travel plans?"

"I have looked into possibilities. A muggle airplane is going to be your best chance to escape."

I nodded. "That's what I thought."

"If I am careful, I will be able to order four tickets that do not have to be used at any specific time. The difficulty will come in getting all of you to the airport."

"The Dark Lord has been keeping a close eye on us," Draco said grimly. "We would need a big distraction."

"Like a battle," I said. "I keep feeling like it's going to come to that." In truth, I wanted to fight, but I knew that might not be practical.  
Severus nodded at me. "Precisely. We need to be on a constant lookout for opportunity. For now, we will continue to train and be prepared."

Draco stood up and took out his wand. "Then let's start."

I looked up at him and smiled. His determination and willingness to fight pleased me and made me proud. It felt good to be able to stand beside him instead of against him.

***

Slytherin played Ravenclaw in Quidditch that Saturday. I tried not to think about Luna as I cheered on Draco and his team. This time, everyone ignored that I was sitting with the "wrong" team. It seemed like everyone at the school had gotten used to me and did not bother to fight me anymore. If circumstances had been different, I would have cared, but as it was, I found myself grateful for the lack of attention.

Slytherin won, and I was again invited to the party in the common room. After that day, the Slytherins increasingly allowed me to invade their turf. Draco and I would hang around in there working on homework or casually chatting with some of the others. Something was nagging me at the back of my mind, but I could not figure it out until one Friday afternoon in February.

Draco and I were attempting to write our Transfiguration essays at the common room table when we were approached by a Slytherin boy. "Hello," he said. "Do you remember me, Crystal?"

I looked the boy over, but I could not recognize him. He was a fourth year with neat blond hair, glasses, and brown eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't."

"Stephan, right?" Draco said, his eyebrows furrowed in thought.

The boy nodded. He looked back at me. "I met you when I was a first year. You were trying to teach a bunch of us to get along with the other Houses."

My eyes widened in understanding. "Oh!" He was one of _those_ kids. I had forgotten they would have been much older by now. In fact, they were the same age as when Draco and I had our feuding parties. "It's good to see you again. How have you been?"

Stephan shrugged. "Fine. I wanted to ask you something."

Draco and I exchanged looks. I knew this could be troublesome, but I decided it would be worse to turn him down. "Go ahead," I said.

"Are you still advocating for inter-House unity?" He shifted his weight awkwardly. "I know you're breaking boundaries by being with Slytherins, but every other house seems to dislike you."

I flushed. Why had I not considered how my actions would impact the youngsters I had tried so hard to train? I desperately tried to think of a compromise to fix this situation. "They do, and that proves me point," I began. "I'm disrupting the order of things by being friends with Slytherins. They can't take it, so they don't like me. I'm not choosing sides; they're just not worth my time anymore if they're going to act that way."

Stephan blinked. "Oh. So it's alright if I talk to some of them? There's this girl..."

"Do whatever you want," Draco said abruptly. "It doesn't matter anymore."

Stephan shrugged. "Ok, thanks!" he said brightly. He turned around and trotted out of the room.

I glanced at Draco, my eyebrows raised. "It doesn't matter?"

"We're all doomed anyway," Draco said. He hooked his hands behind his head, leaned back on the couch, and closed his eyes. "Even if we survive, we're almost out of here. Nothing we do is going to last."

His statement bothered me, but I did not say anything. I had already made my choice, and I had to deal with the unintended side effects. He was probably right. There was not much we could do at this point. We were going to have faith in the next generation to accomplish what we could not get done.

***

I tried not to wander the castle alone because I did not want to have any confrontations with anyone, but Draco was at Quidditch practice and I really needed to be alone with my thoughts. March was nearing, and with it was the prospect of another trip to Malfoy Manor. I was surprised at the relative peace recently. I knew that Voldemort had to be up to something, but I was not sure what.

I knew I needed a plan. I would only have a week with the Malfoys this time, and I had to do something to get them to join me; I would not have another chance. I had a feeling that something big was going to happen before the school year was through. I needed to be ready.

I was surprised when I came across Ginny in an empty hallway, the two of us standing on opposite ends. We stared at each other in shock, not knowing what to say. True to their intentions, Ginny and the DA had been rebelling against Snape and the Carrows' authority over Hogwarts. They often snuck out at night to paint slogans on the walls, which earned them punishments in the form of beatings. I did not approve of the practice, but I was forced to endorse it due to my position.

I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. What could I have said to make anything any better? I knew I may have permanently broken our relationship. Nothing short of the truth would do, and that might not even be enough.

I look of resolve crossed Ginny's face. "Where is Luna?" she asked in a steady tone.

I was surprised by the question. Luna? Right, they were good friends, and she was no longer at school. I felt guilt rush over me, but I did not let it show. I could definitely _not_ tell Ginny that I had seen her recently and what I had to do to her to join the Death Eaters. I decided to feign innocence. "What are you talking about?" I asked innocently.

Ginny's eyes narrowed at me. "I think you very well know what I'm talking about," she said hotly. "Is she in Azkaban? Is that where you're keeping her?"

I was uncomfortable with the possessive noun she used. _I_ had done nothing with Luna. Well, not in the way she meant. I scoffed. "Is that what you think?"

Ginny glared at me. "Where is she?"

"She's fine," I said as calmly as possible. "She's not hurt. Killing her would defeat the purpose, so don't worry." It was time for me to make my exit. I dreaded the thought of passing her, so I turned to go back the way I had come.

"Crystal."

I froze in place, fearing to turn around. I could not even answer her. What if I gave something away?

"George thinks you're putting on an act. He told me recently, even after he ran into at King's Cross."

I shut my eyes and clenched my teeth tightly. George... Why couldn't he be fooled like everyone else? He was going to ruin everything. Then again, was it any different than the way I had defended Severus after he killed Dumbledore? I should have been honored to have such a loyal friend, but instead I felt ridden with guilt. I knew it was better for George to let me go. "He's wrong," I said in as steady a voice as I could manage.

"I'm not sure about that."

"It doesn't matter, does it? You still have to act like I'm your enemy. We're on opposite sides." And denying it was not going to help anyone.

"It _does_ matter emotionally. But if this is the game you want to play, I'm not going to stop you."

"Good," I muttered. "Goodbye, Ginny." Then I ran down the hallway before she could stop me. I turned the corner and nearly ran into Emily.

"Whoa!" my sister said, her eyes wide. "Watch where you're going."

I blinked. "Sorry."

Emily looked me over and frowned. "So, did you do it?"

"Of course I did it," I said, feeling irritated. "Now leave me alone." I did not need a confrontation with her either. Why couldn't I be left in peace?

Emily crossed her arms and frowned, obvious disapproval laced on her face. "Mom and Dad aren't happy. They think you might be under the Imperious Curse. Why are you doing this?"

I rolled my eyes. "I am doing this out of my own free will, and you know why. You're the one who wanted me to be with Draco."

Emily raised her eyebrows. I was impressed with how calm she was behaving. "Not like this. Why couldn't you bring him to your side? That would have been much better?"

Oh, if only she knew that was exactly what I was trying to do. I forced myself to sigh and shake my head. "That's impossible considering the circumstances. I'm doing the best I can. You'll understand someday."

Emily pursed her lips. "Right."

I could tell she did not believe me, but I had nothing left to say. "Goodbye, Emily." I turned and walked past her before she could say anything more. Rather, that was my attempt. I could still here what she shouted after me:

"Don't forget who you are!" 


	78. Terror and Grief

The Easter holidays arrived quicker than I could blink. Nothing unusual had been going on at Hogwarts, so I was able to absorb myself in school, training, and Draco. Now I found myself unprepared as I boarded the train to London. Draco and I were silent as we took seats opposite of each other in an empty compartment. Only when the train had been moving for several minutes did one of us dare to speak.

"So, this is it then," I said. "Our last chance."

"That is how it would appear," Draco said. "Though, we cannot be sure. Everything has been relatively quiet."

I nodded. This was true. What it continued like this? "What if nothing happens before the year is over? What if there is no battle?"

"I do not think the Dark Lord will allow Potter's friends to go home unsupervised," said Draco. "If Potter does not show himself before the year is over, I suspect the Dark Lord may make a move on Hogwarts. Then we can make ours."

His prediction made sense, and it troubled me. Would Hogwarts be able to defend itself against the Death Eaters? It did not feel right to abandon them, even though I knew I had already committed to that course of action. I did not want to think about it. "We'll see what happens when it happens."

Draco did not respond.

*

Malfoy Manor was not decorated for Easter either. Really, where was the spirit in this family? I hoped they would at least celebrate the holiday. With permission, I spent Saturday livening up the place a bit. My decorating was not excellent, but it would do. I was ready to continue my plan. Then something unexpected happened.

All of us minus Bellatrix were sitting in the living room around the fireplace when we received a visitor. I immediately tensed as I saw Narcissa stand up to answer the door. We had _never_ had any visitors before. Was it a Death Eater? Or could it be Voldemort? My throat grew tight as I waited for the inevitable.

I turned my head when I heard footsteps approaching. Narcissa led a group of strange men into the room. My heart nearly stopped when I recognized one of them as Fenrir Greyback. But my blood ran cold when I saw their prisoners: Hermione, Ron, and a familiar-looking guy with a very swollen face.

Lucius stood up. "What is this?" Lucius said.

"They say they've got Potter," Narcissa said. "Draco, come here."

I did not doubt that was indeed Harry. My heart pounded in my chest as I watched Draco stand up and make his way over to his mother. A million thoughts were racing in my mind. What were we going to do? This was a mess I had not been anticipating.

"Well, boy?" Greyback rasped as he pushed Harry directly under the light of the chandelier.

Draco looked at the disfigured Harry, but he did not speak.

"Well, Draco?" Lucius said, sounding avid. "Is it? Is it Harry Potter?"

"I can't - I can't be sure," Draco said. He was keeping his distance from Greyback and seemed scared of looking at Harry. I felt a rush of sympathy for him. We had never prepared for this.

"But look at him carefully, look! Come closer!" Lucius said. I hated how excited he sounded. Had nothing I said gotten through to him? "Draco, if we are the ones who hand Potter over to the Dark Lord, everything will be forgiv-"

"Now, we won't be forgetting who actually caught him, I hope Mr. Malfoy?" Greyback said menacingly.

"Of course not, of course not!" Lucius said impatiently. He walked close to Harry, seeming to look him over carefully. "What did you do to him? How did he get into this state?"

"That wasn't us."

"Looks more like a Stinging Jinx to me," said Lucius. "There's something there. It could be the scar, stretched tight.... Draco, come here, look properly! What do you think?"

I felt sick as I watched Draco walk up to stand beside his father. After a minute, he said, "I don't know." Then he walked back to the fireplace to stand by Narcissa and my chair. I stood up so that I was standing at his other side. I prayed that no one would ask me to confirm Harry's identity. I knew Draco must have seen the truth as well, and I was proud of him for not giving in.

"We had better be certain, Lucius," Narcissa called to her husband. "Completely sure that it is Potter, before we summon the Dark Lord... They say this is his-" she was looking closely at a wand "but it does not resemble Ollivander's description.... If we are mistaken, if we call the Dark Lord here for nothing... Remember what he did to Rowle and Dolohov?"

"What about the Mudblood, then?" Greyback growled. The men forced the prisoners to swivel around so that the light fell on Hermione instead.

"Wait," Narcissa said sharply. "Yes - yes, she was in Madam Malkin's with Potter! I saw her picture in the Prophet! Look, Draco, isn't it the Granger girl?"

"I... maybe... yeah," Draco said awkwardly. I pressed my arm against his in an attempt to comfort him.

"But then, that's the Weasley boy!" Lucius shouted, striding around the bound prisoners to face Ron. "It's them, Potter's friends. Draco, look at him, isn't it Arthur Weasley's son, what's his name?"

"Yeah," Draco again said, his back now turned to the prisoners. "It could be."

The drawing room door opened behind the group and Bellatrix entered. "What is this? What's happened, Cissy?" She walked slowly around the prisoners, and stopped on Harry's right, staring at Hermione. "But surely, this is the Mudblood girl? This is Granger?"

"Yes, yes, it's Granger!" Lucius cried, "And beside her, we think, Potter! Potter and his friends, caught at last!"

"Potter?" Bellatrix shrieked, and she backed away. "Are you sure? Well then, the Dark Lord must be informed at once!" She dragged back her left sleeve.

"I was about to call him!" Lucius said, and his hand actually closed upon Bellatrix's wrist, preventing her from touching the Mark. "I shall summon him, Bella. Potter has been brought to my house, and it is therefore upon my authority."

"Your authority!" she sneered, attempting to wrench her hand from his grasp. "You lost your authority when you lost your wand, Lucius! How dare you! Take your hands off me!"

"This is nothing to do with you, you did not capture the boy."

"Begging your pardon, Mr. Malfoy," Greyback interjected, "but it's us that caught Potter, and it's us that'll be claiming the gold."

"Gold!" Bellatrix laughed, still attempting to throw off her brother-in-law, her free hand groping in her pocket for her wand. "Take your gold, filthy scavenger, what do I want with gold? I seek only the honor of his – of -" She stopped struggling, her dark eyes fixed upon something one of the men was holding. Jubilant at her capitulation, Lucius threw her hand from him and ripped up his own sleeve. "STOP!" shrieked Bellatrix, "Do not touch it; we shall all perish if the Dark Lord comes now!" Lucius froze, his index finger hovering over his own Mark. Bellatrix strode over to the man who appeared to be holding a sword. "What is that?"

"Sword," the man grunted.

"Give it to me."

"It's not yours, missus, it's mine, I reckon I found it."

There was a bang and a flash of red light; the man had been Stunned. There was a roar of anger from his companions, and one of them drew his wand. "What d'you think you're playing at, woman?"

"Stupefy!" she screamed, "Stupefy!"

They fell where they stood, all except Greyback, who had been forced into a kneeling position, his arms outstretched. Bellatrix beared down upon him, the sword gripped tightly in her hand, her face waxen. "Where did you get this sword?" she whispered to Greyback as she pulled his wand out of his unresisting grip.

"How dare you?" he snarled, his mouth the only thing that could move as he was forced to gaze up at her. He bared his pointed teeth. "Release me, woman!"

"Where did you find this sword?" she repeated, brandishing it in his face, "Snape sent it to my vault in Gringotts!"

"It was in their tent," rasped Greyback. "Release me, I say!"

She waved her wand, and the werewolf sprang to his feet but appeared too wary to approach her. He prowled behind an armchair, his filthy curved nails clutching its back.

"Draco, move this scum outside," Bellatrix said, indicating the unconscious men. "If you haven't got the guts to finish them, then leave them in the courtyard for me. Crystal, go with him."

"Don't you dare speak to Draco like-" Narcissa said furiously, but Bellatrix screamed:

"Be quiet! The situation is graver than you can possibly imagine, Cissy! We have a very serious problem!"

Draco and I moved towards the group of unconscious men, both of our gazes fixed straight ahead. Once we reached them, we pulled out our wands and used magic to make them levitate. Then we started for the door that would lead us to the courtyard.

"If it is indeed Potter, he must not be harmed," I heard Bellatrix mutter as we exited the room. "The Dark Lord wishes to dispose of Potter himself.... But if he finds out... I must... I must know.... The prisoners must be placed in the cellar, while I think what to do!"

We were outside soon enough. We deposited the men on the ground in the courtyard. For a full minute, we just stood there staring at them. Neither of us spoke; perhaps we were both too afraid. I hated the thought of being alone with my thoughts, so I led the way back into the house. I needed movement to keep myself occupied. There was no time to make plans.

When we returned to the drawing room, I saw that Harry and Ron were gone, but Bellatrix was leaning over Hermione. I caught myself before I gasped at the sight of the knife in her hand.

"You're lying, filthy Mudblood, and I know it! You have been inside my vault at Gringotts! Tell the truth, tell the truth!" Bellatrix shouted.  
Hermione let out an ear-piercing scream as the older woman dug the knife into her flesh.

"What else did you take? What else have you got? Tell me the truth or, I swear, I shall run you through with this knife!"

I became tense and rigid. I could not even think anymore. This was wrong... so wrong. Draco took my hand in his and squeezed it gently, though I could feel that he felt as uncomfortable as well. Were we supposed to just sit back and let my friend be tortured like this? Severus had never explained what we should do in this type of situation. If Harry was captured, it was likely all over anyway, so shouldn't we just rebel now?

"What else did you take, what else? ANSWER ME! CRUCIO!"

I had to look away as Hermione's screams echoed off the walls. Draco led me over to where Narcissa stood, and we turned our backs to the scene. I knew I would for sure give something away if I continued to watch.

"How did you get into my vault? Did that dirty little goblin in the cellar help you?"

"We only met him tonight!" Hermione sobbed. "We've never been inside your vault.... It isn't the real sword! It's a copy, just a copy!"

"A copy?" Bellatrix screeched. "Oh, a likely story!"

"But we can find out easily!" Lucius said. "Draco, fetch the goblin, he can tell us whether the sword is real or not!"

Draco left my side to obey his father. I thought it would be too risky to follow him. Who knew what Harry and Ron would do to me for my betrayal? I stayed near Narcissa and closed my eyes, wishing this was all just a horrible nightmare.

I clenched my teeth tightly when Hermione screamed again. Luckily, Draco then returned with the goblin, momentarily distracting Bellatrix. Draco stood next me again. I tried to ignore the scene around me by focusing on breathing in and out. However, a faint snap suddenly caught my interest. I looked around and blinked.

"What was that?" Lucius shouted. "Did you hear that? What was that noise in the cellar? Draco - no, call Wormtail! Make him go and check!"

Draco left me to do as he was told. My heart was beating wildly. Had the prisoners found a way to escape? What would happen if they were caught? It was difficult to appear calm on the outside, but somehow I managed it.

"What is it, Wormtail?" Lucius called down after a minute.

"Nothing!" was the response. "All fine!"

A moment of relief seemed to watch over the room, and Bellatrix turned to the Goblin to begin questioning him. She brought him the sword and let him hold it in his small hands. "Well?" she said. "Is it the true sword?"

"No," the Goblin said. "It is a fake."

"Are you sure?" Bellatrix panted. "Quite sure?"

"Yes," said the goblin.

Relief broke across her face, all tension drained from it. "Good," she said, and with a casual flick of her wand, she slashed another deep cut into the goblin's face, and he dropped with a yell at her feet. She kicked him aside. "And now we call the Dark Lord!" And she pushed back her sleeve and touched her forefinger to the Dark Mark.

Dread instantly filled me. This could not be happening. I had no idea what we were supposed to do now. Draco was stiff beside me. We had to fight. We had to save Harry.

"And I think," Bellatrix went on, "we can dispose of the Mudblood. Greyback, take her if you want her."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" came a loud roar, and I was surprised to see Ron burst into the room. Bellatrix pointed her wand at him, but he yelled "Expelliarmus!" Her wand flew up in the air and was caught by Harry, who was running right behind Ron.

Harry yelled, "Stupefy!" and Lucius Malfoy collapsed onto the hearth. Jets of light flew from Narcissa's and Greyback's wands; Harry threw himself to the floor, rolling behind a sofa to avoid them. Draco and I tried to step back to avoid the commotion.

"STOP OR SHE DIES!" I held back a gasp as I saw Bellatrix supporting Hermione, who seemed to be unconscious, holding her short silver knife to her throat. "Drop your wands," she whispered. "Drop them, or we'll see exactly how filthy her blood is!" They did not move. "I said, drop them!" She pressed the blade into Hermione's throat, and I saw beads of blood appear there. My breath was caught.

"All right!" he shouted, and he dropped his wand onto the floor at his feet; Ron did the same with his. Both raised their hands to shoulder height.

"Good!" she leered. "Draco, pick them up! The Dark Lord is coming, Harry Potter! Your death approaches!"

Draco had no choice but to obey his aunt. I wished we had though our plan through a bit more. Maybe then we would know how to rebel properly with a good chance of success. I saw Harry and Ron shoot me looks of hatred, and I turned away uncomfortably.

"Now," Bellatrix said softly as Draco approached, his own wand in hand, "Cissy, I think we ought to tie these little heroes up again, while Greyback takes care of Miss Mudblood. I am sure the Dark Lord will not begrudge you the girl, Greyback, after what you have done tonight."

At the last word there was a peculiar grinding noise from above. All of us looked upward in time to see the crystal chandelier tremble; then, with a creak and an ominous jingling, it began to fall. Bellatrix was directly beneath it; dropping Hermione, she threw herself aside with a scream. A second later, I hit the ground hard. Draco had changed course and tackled me to the floor. He was now using his body cover me, for the chandelier had crashed to the floor in an explosion of crystal and chains, sending glittering shards of crystal flying in all directions.

Draco started to get up now that the danger had passed, but Harry came at him and wrestled the three wands form his hand. Then Harry pointed them at Greyback and yelled, "Stupefy!" The werewolf was lifted off his feet by the triple spell, flew up to the ceiling and then smashed to the ground.

Draco helped me up, and Narcissa stood in front of us protectively. A second later, however, she had her wand pointed at the doorway. "Dobby!" she screamed, and even Bellatrix froze. "You! You dropped the chandelier?"

The tiny elf trotted into the room, his shaking finger pointing at her. "You must not hurt Harry Potter," he squeaked.

"Kill him, Cissy!" Bellatrix shrieked, but there was another loud crack, and Narcissa's wand too flew into the air and landed on the other side of the room. "You dirty little monkey! How dare you take a witch's wand, how dare you defy your masters?"

"Dobby has no master!" the elf squealed. "Dobby is a free elf, and Dobby has come to save Harry Potter and his friends!"

"Ron, catch and GO!" Harry yelled, throwing a wand to him. Then he bent down to tug the goblin out from under the chandelier. Hoisting the groaning goblin, who still clung to the sword, over one shoulder, Harry seized Dobby's hand while Ron, holding Hermione, grabbed onto his other. They all began to Disapparate.

Just as they began to disappear, Bellatrix through her knife at them. She watched, a wicked grin crossed her face as the knife Disapparated with the group.

A second later, someone Apparated in their place: Voldemort. "Where is Potter?" he roared, scanning the room.

I could hardly breathe. I knew as was coming. I clung to Draco's army as Bellatrix responded: "He... escaped."

"ESCAPED?!"

And then came the pain.

*

Voldemort punished us intensely for calling him without retaining Harry. Still, the physical pain was not as great as the emotional pain I had experienced the year prior. Therefore, I was able to endure it. Bellatrix was the most broken down, seeing how much she wanted to please Voldemort. She left to brood by herself, leaving me in the living room with the Malfoys.

We were all pretty beaten up and needed a rest. Still, I had enough mental energy left to seize an opportunity. "I need to say something to you," I said to Lucius as he and Narcissa began to walk away. They stopped in surprise and looked at me. Draco was standing next to me, his gaze cast to the ground.

"What could you possibly have to say?" Lucius asked in a low voice.

"About tonight..." I began. It was a struggle to speak, but I clenched my teeth and forced myself to continue. "Why were you so eager to hand over Harry?"

"Like I said, we would have been forgiven. The reward-"

"What reward?" I growled. "Did you see what he did to use? Don't you see what kind of master he is _now_? After everything he's done to you, you would still go crawling back to him? You still want to follow him after what he did to Draco last year? That was supposed to be a punishment for _you_, but obviously he doesn't know you well. You need to choose between him and your family. You can't have it both ways."

Narcissa appeared shocked at my words. I thought I saw a flash of guilt in Lucius' eyes, but it was quickly gone as he turned to his son. "Draco, you know I never meant you any harm."

Draco shook his head slowly. "No, you didn't _mean_ it. You never mean it. You don't think. You never even asked me how I felt. Crystal is right; last year was torture, and she was the only one who gave me any relief. You don't even _care_. All my life, you've told me how privileged we are and how much we deserve in life. But now I see that was all lies. I do not feel better off as a Death Eater. I feel like there are many who have more than I do, _including_ the mudblood Granger.

"I was attracted to Crystal because she has something I need. She showed me that there's another way. _This_" he swept his arm across the room "means nothing to me. The Dark Lord has nothing to offer us except pain and misery. He doesn't _care_ about any of us. All he wants is power, and he'll use anyone he can to get it. He can give us _nothing_. I'm through with all of it. If you want to continue pandering for something that may be taken away any second, you can leave me out of it!"

Draco had become impassioned and angry as he spoke. After shooting his father one, last harsh look, he turned and stormed out of the room. I felt as shocked as his parents looked. A second later, I turned and followed my boyfriend.

He made it all the way to his room before he began to break down. He fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. "It-it's not fair," he sobbed. "Why-" He could not finish his sentence.

With a jolt, I realized he was crying. I knelt down beside him and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him against my chest. I could feel the pressure breaking down in me as well. "I know," I choked out.

I rested my head against his as I held onto him while he sobbed. I knew I had to let him get it all out. Sometimes, it was good to cry. 


	79. Getting Closer

"_Death surrounds_  
_My heartbeat's slowing down_  
_I won't take this world's abuse_  
_I won't give up, I refuse!_

_This is how it feels when you're bent and broken_  
_This is how it feels when your dignity's stolen_  
_When everything you love is leaving_  
_You hold on to what you believe in_"

– "Not Gonna Die" by Skillet

Silence hung about the house the following day. I could feel tension among the adults during breakfast, but despite the lack of conversation, I felt a closeness between Draco and me. We stayed close to each other as we engaged in our daily activities. We did not need to speak to know what the other was thinking. We were on the same side.

We began to talk quietly to each other over the next few days. Any resistance Draco had had in the past about being on my side was gone. I knew he had always been attracted to what I had, but now he wanted it for himself. We both clung to the hope that our current desperation would not last. There was a better life waiting for us somewhere. If we had to fight for it, then we would fight. For now, we struggled together to get through each day.

We were sitting by the fireplace in the living room on Friday when Narcissa approached. We immediately grew silent as we watched her. She stood before us, her hands folded in front of her. It looked like she wanted to say something, but now words would come out. Finally, after a minute, she said in a quiet voice, "I will go with you."

I could feel the shock from Draco next to me. My own mouth had fallen partly open. I recovered first, so I said almost cautiously, "To America?"

Narcissa nodded. "If that is where you two are going, I will go with you. I am tired of this life as well. I wish to be free. I have only kept quiet so long for the sake of my family." Her eyes rested on Draco. "But if you have decided to flee, I will accompany you."

"What about Dad?" Draco asked, his voice firmed and controlled.

I could see regret etched on Narcissa's face, but there was something else there. Resolve. "He can make his own choice. I am doing what is best for me. I will talk to him and try to persuade him to join us. He may change his mind when he discovers my decision."

"He should stay behind," Draco muttered.

I shot him a look. "Draco! He's our father; love him."

His face hardened. "Why should I? He hasn't been very loving towards me."

"Like you were unloving towards me at the beginning?" I said with raised eyebrows. "Love him... as I have loved you. It's not easy for me either, but love is a choice." He looked away, but I saw him give me a small nod. I glanced back at Narcissa. "Is there anything you need from us?"

"Yes," she said slowly. She still looked awkward as she stood there in front of us. "What is your plan? How are we escaping? You mentioned Severus..."

"Yes, he's helping us. We don't really have much of a plan. He's going to try to get us plan tickets so we can take a flight to Texas at a moment's notice. If that doesn't happen, Draco and I are prepared to fight against the Dark Lord if a battle arises."

Narcissa nodded. "I do not know what I will do if we cannot flee. I will think on it. Thank." When no one else said another word, she left us there.

Draco stared down at his hands folded in his lap. I thought he would have been glad at his mother's decision, but something seemed to be troubling him. "If there is a battle," he finally began slowly, "will the Slytherins in my year fight?"

_He's worried for them, _I realized. He had come far from when I first met him and he had tried to stop me from befriending the Slytherins. What would have happened if I had continued my task? "You should be able to answer that better than me," I replied. "I suspect the Dark Lord will offer them a reward if they fight on his side. I suspect some would flee."

"Is there anything we can do to help them?" He turned his head to look at me, distress evident in his eyes. "They don't know they have a choice... But how can we persuade them without giving away our secret?"

I paused to consider the predicament. I had been so focused on Draco and his family that I had forgotten there were others who could use a path to the light. How could I do anything now that I was trying to be on their side? Then an idea occurred to me. "Well, when I first met you, I did not try to convince you to join my side. I tried to get to know you and become your friend. That's what we can do for the other Slytherins. If they realize there are those who understand them and love them as they are, maybe they will be more likely to make the right choice in the end."

"Alright." He leaned back in the couch and closed his eyes. "We can try that."

I reached out and grabbed his hand. He was tensed at first, but then he relaxed. "That's all we can do." I hoped it would be enough.

*

I sat through another silent dinner. As we all got up to leave the table, Lucius took a step towards me, his piercing gaze telling me he wanted to talk. I merely nodded and turned to enter another room where we could be alone.

I found an empty guest room. Lucius walked in behind me, closing the door. I turned to face him with my arms crossed. I did not want to look put off, but I was wary of his motivations. "Yes?" I said.

"Now you've poisoned the mind of my wife?" he said icily, his eyes tight.

I frowned slightly at his tone. "I've done no such thing. She made the reasonable choice. She and Draco both want out."

I shook my head. "No. _You're_ abandoning _them_ by choosing to stay here. If you want to keep your family together, come with us." He grew quiet, but he still appeared angry. I did not want to push the issue unless he was open to it, so I walked past him to exit the room, which he let me. I wondered if he would ever come around.

***

The end of the break could not come soon enough. Narcissa did not say much as she brought Draco and me to the train station. I could feel something different emanating from her this time, though. I knew she was on our side.

We took up a compartment by ourselves on the train. We remained silent throughout dinner upon returning to Hogwarts. I did no spare the Gryffindor table a glance as I walked to the Slytherin table with my boyfriend. I remembered what Draco had talked to me about a few days prior. We had to befriend these guys, and we had to start soon.

I caught Severus' eye during the meal and knew he wanted to talk. He left soon after. As soon as I was finished, I excused myself and walked out with Draco. I felt a tiny bit of excitement as we moved along the halls. We did have some good news to convey, and I wondered if the headmaster had anything to share himself.

"Come in," Severus' voice said, and the two of us stepped into his office. He appeared as calm and composed as he had during dinner. I had never been able to read him well, though I was getting slightly better. "You had an eventful Easter, I heard."

I bit my lip and glanced down. Of course he knew what happened. "Yeah," I mumbled.

Draco cast his gaze to the ground as well. "It was a bloody blast," he muttered.

I took a deep breath before looking up at Severus again. "But after that we had some success. Draco's mom agreed to travel with us to America."

Severus' eyebrows rose slightly. "Has she?" he said in interest.

"Yes," Draco said. "My father, on the other hand, is as stubborn as a rock."

"Now you know what it's like to be in my place," I said under my breath. Draco looked away and did not respond, so I addressed Severus. "Do you have any news?"

"Indeed, I do," Severus said. "I was able to purchase four airline tickets that can be redeemed at any time. I am still looking for an opportunity to help you escape, and I will hand over the tickets when I have more information."

A small amount of relief washed through me. This was progress, and I was beginning to believe our plan could actually work. "That's great. Thanks."

Severus nodded. "You two better be off now."

"Thank you, sir," Draco said. He turned and led the way out of the room. Only when we were alone in the hall, did he say, "Let's start working on the other Slytherins tomorrow."

I smiled, knowing exactly what he meant. "Sounds like a plan."

***

We spent the next several weeks attempting to befriend the Slytherins. We focused mostly on those in our year but engaged anyone who approached us. It was not as hard as I thought it would be. Once we got past their initial coldness, we found they really had been searching for someone who would just listen to them. We got to know them as best as we could and let them know that we cared about them.

On the first Friday evening in May, our daily routine was interrupted. Draco was walking me back to my common room right before curfew when Severus stopped us in the stairwell. "Come with me," he said without any explanation.

Draco and I exchanged a look but knew better than to argue. The three of us walked as quietly as possible to the headmaster's office. Once safely inside, Severus turned to face us and said gravely, "Potter has been spotted in Hogsmeade."

A minute of silence passed as the meaning of this news swept over us. Finally, I hesitantly said, "Is he coming here?"

Severus nodded. "It is likely."

"Does You-Know-Who know?"

"Surely. He should be here shortly."

I bit my lip. "His allies here won't hand him over." Dumbledore's Army had continued to resist the Death Eaters' presence in the school. When it was discovered that Neville was in charge, he had been persecuted. I had not seen any of them around recently.

"There will be a battle," Draco said, echoing my own thoughts.

Severus nodded again. Then he pulled what looked to be envelopes out of his robes. "These are the airline tickets I have acquired. If I am correct, the Heads of Houses will evacuate the school. That will be your chance to escape." His eyes fell on Draco. "The Dark Lord will surely bring his followers, and you can attempt to catch your parents on the way out."

Draco shifted beside me, but he nodded. "Very well. We shall try."

"Good." Now he turned to me. "Do you still have the potion you asked to make at the beginning of the year?"

I had almost forgotten about my bottle of Felix Felicis. I had kept it safe in my school bag all this time. "Yes."

"Split it between the two of you and take it right before you depart Hogwarts – not a moment sooner. You will be needing it." He paused. "I do not know if we will be seeing each other again; this may very well be goodbye."

A rush of emotions flooded me at his words. If there was going to be a battle, he would be in grave danger. Even if Draco and I did ever make it back to the UK, Severus very well might be dead. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out at first. The headmaster had given me so much over the past couple of years; I did not seem to have a way to repay him. "Thank you – for everything."

Severus' face seemed to soften as he gazed at me. "It is I who should be thanking you. These are lonely times."

"We have all needed each other," Draco said, "so thanks."

Something flickered in Severus' eyes, but I could not decipher it. "Good luck."

"To you as well," Draco said. He seemed to hesitate before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around his mentor in a hug. Severus' eyes widened in surprise, but he hugged him back.

I smiled as a warm feeling came over me. I had not realized that Draco had become almost as attached to him as I had. He finally had an adult he could look up to. When he pulled away, I took a turn. "I love you," I said as I hugged him tightly. He did not respond, but I could tell he felt the same.

As I stepped back to stand beside Draco, my smile saddened. Would this really be the last time we would see each other? "Goodbye, Crystal, Draco," he said, nodding to each of us in turn.

"Goodbye," said Draco.

It felt like everything had changed and nothing would ever be the same again. I did not even know where I would be in a day. I was about to leave everything I ever knew behind while almost everyone I loved would become engaged in a great battle. "Goodbye, Severus." 


	80. Fire

"_Break their hold_  
_'Cause I won't be controlled_  
_They can't keep their chains on me_  
_When the truth has set me free_

_This is how it feels when you take your life back_  
_This is how it feels when you finally fight back_  
_When life pushes me, I push harder_  
_What doesn't kill me makes me stronger_"

– "Not Gonna Die" by Skillet

Just like Severus predicted, the students were woken up late in the night and asked to meet in the Great Hall. I quickly got dressed and followed my housemates down the hall. I was glad that most of them were sleepy, for I had to sit with them at the Gryffindor table, which I had not done since I "joined" the Slytherins.

I glanced at the Slytherin table, but Draco was not looking at me. I checked my bag to make sure I had my plane tickets, Felix Felicis, and Phoenix tears. Satisfied, I looked up to where the teachers had gathered. Professor McGonagall stepped up to the raised podium and began to speak:

"Hogwarts is under attack. Lord Voldemort is preparing to search the school for Harry Potter, who has returned." Murmurs and several large gasps broke out through the Hall, which McGonagall ignored. "Students will be evacuated to Hogsmeade, where you will be assisted in Apparating to a safe place. Evacuation will be overseen by Mr. Filch and Madame Pomfrey. Prefects, when I give the word, you will organize your House and take your charges in orderly fashion to the evacuation point."

Ernie stood up from the Hufflepuff table and shouted: "And what if we want to stay and fight?" A loud applause followed.

"If you are of age, you may stay," said Professor McGonagall.

"What about our things?" called a girl at the Ravenclaw table. "Our trunks, our owls?"

"We have no time to collect possessions," McGonagall said. "The important thing is to get you out of here safely."

"Where's Professor Snape?" a girl shouted from the Slytherin table.

"He has, to use the common phrase, done a bunk," McGonagall replied, and a great cheer erupted from the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws while I glowered in my seat. I turned when I heard whispering. Harry was walking along the tables! "We have already placed protection around the castle, but it is unlikely to hold for very long unless we reinforce it. I must ask you, therefore, to move quickly and calmly, and do as your prefects-"

She was interrupted by a voice that echoed throughout the Hall: "I know that you are preparing to fight." There were screams amongst the students, some of whom clutched each other, looking around in terror for the source of the sound. "Your efforts are futile. You cannot fight me. I do not want to kill you. I have great respect for the teachers of Hogwarts. I do not want to spill magical blood."

_Voldemort_, I realized with a shiver.

"Give me Harry Potter," said Voldemort's voice, "and they shall not be harmed. Give me Harry Potter and I shall leave the school untouched. Give me Harry Potter and you will be rewarded. You have until midnight."

Silence enveloped the hall as every head turned to look at Harry. Then I heard a voice I recognized as Pansy's scream: "But he's there! Potter's there. Someone grab him!"

Then most of the Gryffindors rose and stood in front of Harry, facing the Slytherins. My heart hammered in my chest as I slunk in my seat. Then the Hufflepuffs stood, followed by the Ravenclaws, imitating the Gryffindors' actions in opposing Pansy. Then wands started to come out to protect Harry. A lump formed in my throat at the scene. It looked to me like it was everyone against Slytherin. They had not even been given a chance. They were children...

"Thank you, Miss Parkinson," McGonagall said in a clipped voice. "You will leave the Hall first with Mr. Filch. If the rest of your House could follow."

I watched as the Slytherins got up and trudged out of the room, knowing I must soon follow.

"Ravenclaws, follow on!" McGonagall cried.

The Hufflepuffs were next and then the Gryffindors. I felt awkward as I stood up to leave. No one at the Slytherin table had stayed. There were a few Ravenclaws and more Hufflepuffs. Half of Gryffindor remained in their seats. I knew I was the only seventh year who left the Hall.

I had barely stepped outside the Hall when I felt someone pull me out into the nearby hall. My racing heart slowed when I saw it was only Draco, a worried look on his face. "We have to stay," he said in an insistent tone.

I frowned. We had already discussed this; we were going to evacuate with the rest of the school. "What are you talking about?"

"Vincent and Gregory are staying behind to find Potter and bring him to the Dark Lord to be rewarded!"

My eyes widened in surprise. "What? Do you think they can actually succeed?"

Draco shook his head. "I don't know. They want to eavesdrop to find out why he's here and where he'll be doing. I'm afraid they'll accidentally do something stupid like kill him. I don't want to take any chances; we have to stop them. We_ need_ Potter alive. Even if we're in the States, if the Dark Lord lives..."

I nodded in understanding. Placing a hand on his shoulder, I gave him a sympathetic smile. "Right. We'll stay." At least until we could stop our friends. There was no reason to abandon the plan entirely.

Draco straightened up. "Besides, Potter has my wand."

As I let my hand drop, I resisted the urge to smirk. "Right. Your wand." He was trying to justify his actions by showing what he got out of it, but it was a start.

Suddenly, Vincent and Gregory appeared by his side. "Come on," Vincent said impatiently. "Potter will be out soon. We have to hide."

Draco nodded. The four of us quickly used disillusion charms to hide ourselves in the corridor outside. Then we waited.

We had been waiting for awhile when we saw a ghost floating in are direction. Then Harry was after her, calling out, "Hey, wait!"The ghost paused so that he could catch up to her. "You're the Grey Lady?" She nodded. "The Ghost of Ravenclaw Tower?"

"That is correct."

"Please, I need some help. I need to know anything you can tell me about the lost diadem."

"I am afraid," the ghost said, turning to leave, "that I cannot help you."

"WAIT! This is urgent. If that diadem's at Hogwarts, I've got to find it, fast."

"You are hardly the first student to covet the diadem," she said disdainfully. "Generations of students have badgered me-"

"This isn't about trying to get better marks!" Harry shouted at her, "It's about Voldemort - defeating Voldemort - or aren't you interested in that?"

"Of course I - how dare you suggest-?"

"Well, help me, then!"

"It - it is not a question of - " she stammered. "My mother's diadem - "

"Your mother's?"

"When I lived," she said stiffly, "I was Helena Ravenclaw."

"You're her daughter? But then, you must know what happed to it."

"While the diadem bestows wisdom," she said, "I doubt that it would greatly increase your chances of defeating the wizard who calls himself Lord - "

"Haven't I told you, I'm not interested in wearing it!" Harry said fiercely. "There's no time to explain - but if you care about Hogwarts, if you want to see Voldemort finished, you've got to tell me anything you know about the diadem!"

The ghost was quite for a minute before speaking in a low voice, "I stole the diadem from my mother."

"You – you did what?"

"I stole the diadem," the ghost repeated in a whisper. "I sought to make myself cleverer, more important than my mother. I ran away with it. My mother, they say, never admitted that the diadem was gone but pretended that she had it still. She concealed her loss, my dreadful betrayal, even from the other founders of Hogwarts. Then my mother fell ill - fatally ill. In spite of my perfidy, she was desperate to see me one more time. She sent a man who had long loved me, though I spurned his advances, to find me. She knew that he would not rest until he had done so." She drew a deep breath and threw back her head. "He tracked me to the forest where I was hiding. When I refused to return with him, he became violent. The baron was always a hot-tempered man. Furious at my refusal, jealous of my freedom, he stabbed me."

"The Baron? You mean-?"

"The Bloody Baron, yes. When he saw what he had done, he was overcome with remorse. He took the weapon that had claimed my life, and used it to kill himself. All these centuries later, he wears his chains as an act of penitence... as he should."

"And – and the diadem?"

"It remained where I had hidden it when I heard the Baron blundering through the forest toward me. Concealed inside a hollow tree."

"A hollow tree?" repeated Harry. "What tree? Where was this?"

"A forest in Albania. A lonely place I thought was far beyond my mother's reach."

"Albania," Harry repeated. "You've already told someone this story, haven't you? Another student?"

She nodded. "I had... no idea... He was flattering. He seemed to... understand... to sympathize..."

"Well, you weren't the first person Riddle wormed things out of," Harry muttered. "He could be charming when he wanted..." He was quiet for a minute, and then he shouted, "The night he asked for a job!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"He hid the diadem in the castle, the night he asked Dumbledore to let him teach! He must've hidden the diadem on his way up to, or down from, Dumbledore's office! But it was well worth trying to get the job - then he might've got the chance to nick Gryffindor's sword as well - thank you, thanks!" Then he darted away.

Draco, Gregory, Vincent, and I revealed ourselves to each other, giving each other questioning looks. "Well, we'll never find him now," I said. Maybe we could convince our friends to give up.

Gregory shook his head. "There aren't many places to hide something on the way to the office."

Vincent nodded. "Yeah, we can figure it out; we're smart."

Draco and I exchanged a look. "I don't have any ideas," said my boyfriend.

So, the four of us stood there trying to think. I honestly did not know the answer. "We could just take a walk to the office and see if we can figure it out," I finally said.

"Ok," Vincent agreed.

We started towards the nearest stairwell to begin our search. When we got to the seventh floor, Draco muttered, "The Room of Requirement."

"What?" Vincent said while I shot him a look. If he had figured it out, he should keep it a secret!

Draco seemed to realize his mistake and cast his gaze to the ground. "The Room of Requirement is a good place to hide things, but we don't know what to ask for."

"What about that place where you hid your vanishing thing last year?" said Gregory. "The place where everything is hidden."

"Let's check there!" Vincent said enthusiastically.

Draco and I exchanged a look. It seemed that we had no choice. "Alright," he muttered as he took the lead. I tried to ignore the feeling of dread coming over me and I followed him.

We soon reached the place where the Room of Requirement was hidden. Draco expertly walked back and forth, causing a door to appear. Taking a deep breath, I started for it. I had never seen this room before, but I had heard about it. My heart sank as I looked upon the rows and piles of junk and knick-knacks. If the diadem Harry was looking for was there, how would he ever find it in this mess?

"Potter probably won't figure it out for awhile," Draco said. "We can wait inside. The other two Slytherins eagerly agreed. We walked back a little ways so that we could find a hiding spot. Then we waited.

After what seemed like nearly an hour, we heard movement. Draco put his finger to his lips and led the way again. I did not know how he planned to get out of this, but I trusted him. We slowly made our way to the source of the noise. I nearly let out a gasp when I saw Harry Potter walking forward in front of us with his back to us. I had not seen him in so long that his presence was a surprise.

Vincent and Gregory stepped up to stand in front of us with their wands pointed at harry. Draco and I reluctantly took out our wands as well. Then Draco said in a steady voice, "Hold it, Potter."

Harry skidded to a halt and turned around to face us, his wand in his right hand.

"That's my wand you're holding, Potter," Draco continued.

"Not anymore," Harry said. "Winners, keepers, Malfoy. Who's lent you theirs?"

"My mother," Draco said.

Harry laughed, though I did not know what was funny about the situation. "So how come you four aren't with Voldemort?"

_Because we're not real Death Eaters_, I thought but did not say anything.

"We're gonna be rewarded," said Vincent. "We 'ung back, Potter. We decided not to go. Decided to bring you to 'im."

"Good plan," Harry said. "So, how did you get in here?"

"I virtually lived in the Room of Hidden Things all last year," Draco said, his voice brittle. "I know how to get in."

"We was hiding in the corridor outside," Gregory grunted. "We can do Disslusion Charms now! And then you turned up right in front of us and said you was looking for a die-dum! What's a die-dum?"

"Harry?" said a voice that sounded an awful lot like Ron's coming from the wall on our left. "Are you talking to someone?"

Vincent pointed his wand at the fifty foot mountain of old furniture, of broken trunks, of old books and robes and unidentifiable junk, and shouted, "Descendo!" The wall began to totter, and then the top third crumbled into the aisle next door where Ron likely stood.

"Ron!" Harry bellowed. I heard Hermione scream and innumerable objects crashing to the floor on the other side of the destabilized wall. He pointed his wand at the rampart, cried, "Finite!" and it steadied.

"No!" Draco cried, grabbing Vincent's arm to stop him from repeating the spell. "This has gone on long enough. It's over!"

"What's the matter?" Vincent said, tugging himself free. "What's over?"

"All of this," I said. I took a few steps forward and turned around in front of Harry. "Enough."

A puzzled look crossed Vincent's face. "Crystal? I thought you were on our side."

"Harry?" Ron shouted from the other side of the junk wad. "What's going on?"

"Harry?" mimicked Vincent. "What's going on - no, Potter! Crucio!" Harry had lunged for what looked to be a tiara. The curse missed him but hit the stone bust, which flew into the air. The diadem that he must have been looking for soared upward and then dropped out of sight in the mass of objects on which the bust had rested.

"STOP!" Draco shouted, his voice echoing throughout the room.

"Why?" Gregory shot back.

"The truth, Draco," I said, sending him a pleading look. Then I looked at Vincent and answered his previous question. "I am on your side, but I'm on Harry's side as well. Don't you see? We're not enemies of each other. The Dark Lord is the enemy, and we are all his victims."

A jet of scarlet light shot past Harry by inches. Hermione had run around the corner behind him and sent a Stunning Spell straight at Vincent's head, which missed because Gregory pulled him out of the way."It's that Mudblood!" Vincent shouted. "Avada Kedavra!"

Hermione dived aside. Harry shot a Stunning Spell at Vincent, who jumped out of the way. Both Vincent and Gregory aimed their wands at Harry to attack.

"NO!" Draco cried in horror. "YOU CAN'T KILL HIM!" He immediately scrambled to stand by my side, protecting Harry as well. "Crystal is right; the Dark Lord may reward you, but it will amount to nothing in the end. He will take away everything you love, and you will end up a _slave. It isn't worth it._"

"We don't want to hurt you," I said, my voice shaking slightly. "We're friends, right? Just back down. We can help you."

Vincent and Gregory hesitated. For a moment, I thought they were going to concede, but then Gregory said vehemently, "If you defend him, you're our enemy!"

"Expelliarmus!" Harry shouted, aiming in between the space Draco and I had left. Gregory's wand flew out of his hand and disappeared into the bulwark of objects beside him. He leapt foolishly on the spot, trying to retrieve it. Vincent jumped out of range of Hermione's second Stunning Spell, and Ron, appearing suddenly at the end of the aisle, shot a full Body-Bind Curse at him, which narrowly missed as well.

Vincent turned around and screamed, "Avada Kedavra!" again. Ron leapt out of the way to avoid the jet of green light. Hermione raced towards us, hitting Gregory with a Stunning Spell as she came.

"We can help," I said to Harry. Draco nodded from beside me.

It looked like Harry was unsure whether to trust us, but then he nodded and glanced at Hermione. "The diadem is somewhere here." He pointed to a pile of junk. You three look for it while I go and help R-"

"HARRY!" Hermione screamed.

A roaring noise caught my attention. I turned to see Vincent and Ron running as hard as they could in our direction. "Like it hot, scum?" Vincent shouted as he ran.

My body froze in fear when I saw the giant wave of flames behind him. "What have you _done_?" I exclaimed. Was he trying to get us all killed?

"Aguamenti!" Harry bawled, but the jet of water that soared from the tip of his wand evaporated in the air.

"RUN!" Draco shouted. He bent down to grab the stunned Gregory and dragged him around, and I rushed to help him. Vincent ran the fastest, now looking terrified. The fire was like nothing I had ever seen. It was like it was an evil curse intent on killing us all, even its castor.

Vincent led the way, making quick decisions as the fire cut off various paths. I soon realized we had lost the trio, but I had no time to worry about them. We skidded to a halt when we came across a dead end. Draco's eyes darted around and then rested on a pile of charred desks. "Up there!"

Vincent ignored him and turned to run the way we had come. I wanted to call after him, but there was no time. I struggled to help Draco push Gregory up onto the top desk so that the three of us would be safe. From our perch, I nervously looked around for any other sign of life.

Then I saw them: Harry was riding one broomstick, while Ron was riding another with Hermione sitting behind him. Harry spotted us at the same time, and he headed in our direction. "Go!" Draco shouted at me, and I nodded in understanding. I reached out to grasped Harry's outstretch hand, but sweat caused our hands to slide apart.

"IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY!" Ron roared. He and Hermione managed to get Gregory onto their broom, while, on the second try, I was able to climb up behind Harry, followed by Draco.

"The door, get to the door, the door!" Draco screamed, and Harry sped up. We followed the others through a maze of fire. And then Harry made a hairpin swerve and dived. "What are you doing, what are you doing, the door's that way!" Harry ignored him, and I saw him catch a tiara around his wrist. He swerved upward again and headed for the door. I held onto him tightly while Draco did not same to me.

Just when the heat became too much, we slammed into the wall of the hallway outside of the room. All three of us fell to the ground, gasping and pant. My mind whirling, I slowly sat up to see Ron and Hermione in a similar position. Gregory was still unconscious.

"V-Vincent," Draco choked he said as soon as he was able to speak. "V-Vincent."

"He's dead," Ron said harshly.

I had to take deep breath to stop the shaking. Vincent was gone... We had given him a chance to be saved, and he had rejected it. There was nothing else that could be done. I lifted my gaze to meet Harry's eyes. "Thank you," I said in a steady voice. Despite everything, he had saved us.

Harry only nodded. He did not say anything, but his expression as enough. He knew we were on his side.

I wanted a chance to rest, but I knew there was no time to waste. I could hear the sounds of battle waging all around us. Draco and I needed to find his parents and get out of there. I turned to him and set, "Get Gregory into a safe place and then come back here to meet me. I'll be fine, and we can come up with a plan afterward."

I was relieved when he did not argue. He used a levitation spell to lift his friend off the ground and start down the hall. I turned to the trio to access my situation. I had to survive long enough to allow Draco to return. Everything after that was up in the air. 


	81. Another Way

"_The last thing I heard was you whispering goodbye_  
_And then I heard you flat line_

_No, not gonna die tonight_  
_We're gonna stand and fight forever_  
_(Don't close your eyes)_  
_No, not gonna die tonight_  
_We're gonna fight for us together_  
_No, we're not gonna die tonight_"

– "Not Gonna Die" by Skillet

I stood leaning against the wall with my eyes closed to catch a break. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were talking near me, but I was too exhausted to make out what they were saying. The sounds of dueling and shouting stole away the last bit of peace I had, and my eyes shot open.

My heart nearly stopped when I saw that Death Eaters had penetrated Hogwarts. Fred and Percy Weasley were dueling two of them. The trio ran forward to help, but I stayed back to continue waiting for Draco.

"Meow?" Snowball's head poked out of the bag slung across my shoulder. The noise must have woken him.

"Shh..." I said, gently pushing him back in the bag where he would be concealed. "It's okay."

The man dueling Percy backed off, and then his hood slipped. "Hello, Minister!" said Percy, sending a neat jinx straight at the man, who dropped his wand and clawed at the front of his robes, apparently in awful discomfort. "Did I mention I'm resigning?"

"You're joking, Perce!" Fred shouted as the Death Eater he was battling collapsed under the weight of three separate Stunning Spells. He looked at Percy with glee. "You actually are joking, Perce.... I don't think I've heard you joke since you were -"

Some sort of explosion caused me to be pushed backward and fall on the ground. I hit my head on the floor, and I felt dizzy when I tried to stand up again. It took a minute for me to orient myself and figure out what had happened. Most of the corridor was in shambles; the wall of the castle had been blown away. Thankfully, I was far enough away from the explosion to be hurt badly, unlike some of the others.

Then I saw three redheaded men grouped on the ground where the wall had blasted apart. "No – no – no!" someone was shouting. "No! Fred! No!" And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them. Coldness enveloped me as I realized the truth: Fred was dead. I had now lost two friends in the battle.

A body fell past the hole blown into the side of the school, and curses flew in at all of us from the darkness, hitting the wall behind us. "Get down!" Harry shouted as more curses flew through the night.

"CRYSTAL!" another voice shouted. I turned to see Draco racing towards me as I ducked down to avoid a curse. "Are you alright?"

I nodded numbly. "Yes, but we have to find your parents and get out of here now."

"Right." He helped me to my feet, and we made a run for it. Thankfully, the Death Eaters still thought we were one of them, and they did not attack us. I knew those fighting for Hogwarts would not attack unless we initiated the violence; they battled in defense.

The battle raged even fiercer outside. Draco and I stopped to scan the area. It would be easy to spot the blond Malfoys, but neither of them caught my eye. Instead, I saw what appeared to be a mini battle taking place inside the larger fight. I could clearly see a group of Slytherin seventh, sixth, and fifth years dueling an assortment of students from the other three houses, mostly seventh years and a few sixth years. I felt sick to my stomach as I watched them.

"The Dark Lord must have promised to reward them," Draco said, nodding at his housemates.

I cast him a worried glance. "Do you want to intervene?"

Instead of responding, he sprinted in the direction of the dueling students, and I followed behind. As we got closer, I recognized faces on both sides. Pansy Parkinson seemed to be leading the Slytherins, and, to my surprise, George was in charge of the unified houses. Draco and I seemed to be in sync as we leapt between the two groups and shouted, "Protego!"

Transparent blue shields covered us, causing the spells that had been launched to disintegrate. Draco stood facing the Slytherins, and I faced the other side with my back to them. When we lowered our wands and dissolved the shields, I saw shocked faces all around us.

"Crystal?" George said as if he could not believe his eyes.

"Draco!" Pansy said in disbelief. "What are you doing? Help us or get out of the way!"

"I'm not going to help you," Draco said in a low voice.

"Crystal is not on our side," said Dean. "Don't be afraid to attack her. She's not a true Gryffindor."

"I_ am_ a true Gryffindor, and I am on your side," I said. "We _both_ are."

"What?" said a young Slytherin who I did not recognize. "That's not true, Draco, is it?"

"It's true," Draco said. "I am no longer loyal to the Dark Lord. I never truly was."

"I don't believe it," Ernie said. "What are you trying to pull?"

Only George was staring at me with a mix of relief and understanding. "Why did you join them?" he asked in a tone that was not accusing, simply needing to know.

I looked back at Draco behind me and then glanced at George again. "It was the only way I could save him."

"Love," George said, his eyes flashing knowingly as a sudden peace seemed to light them. He finally got it. Someone finally understood.

I smiled and nodded. "Love moves both of us."

"Love?" a Slytherin boy scoffed. "Love is weakness."

"No, love is strength," said Draco.

"I still don't believe you," said a seventh year Ravenclaw girl. "You two are no good."

I glanced up and noticed a few dementors coming closer. "We can prove it." I saw Draco look up, and I knew he was thinking the same thing as me. "It's rare for dark wizards to be able to do _this_."

Draco and I raised our wands and shouted, "Expecto Patronum!" From the tips of our wands emerged two silvery eagles, which zoomed into the dementors and sent them flying back. Lowering my wand, I saw everyone staring at us in shock again. I caught George's eye. He knew what all of this meant.

"They're not the enemy," I said to the reflective faces in front of me. "The enemy is Voldemort. He's using them to get what he wants. And they're young just like yourselves. It's not too late for them to choose a different path... but you have to help them."

"Crystal's right," George said. He stepped forward and turned so that he was standing beside me. "Stop fighting them." A murmur broke out amongst the students of the three houses.

"What if we don't _want_ to choose a different path?" Pansy said. "We can make our own decisions."

"You don't have all the information to make a good decision," Draco said. "If you think the Dark Lord will reward you for your obedience, you're wrong. He may hand out a few trifles to keep you there, but it is not worth it. One wrong move and you could find yourself in a very dangerous situation."

"Like you and your father?" a male Slytherin sneered. "We may not be as stupid."

"It could have happened to anyone!" Draco said in a tone that suggested he was trying hard to keep himself under control. "The point is that the Dark Lord takes away your freedom. You may think you're gaining security by siding with him, but how secure can you really be when he can take away everything in one second? It's all an illusion. You will never be free to be who you want to be if he wins this war. You may live, but you will be _slaves_. He has the power to take away everything you love, and he will not hesitate to use it if it suits his interests."

"Wh-what do you want us to do?" asked a young female Slytherin.

"Join us. Fight to defend Harry Potter, for if he dies, we are all doomed. And you know I would not be saying that unless I meant it." Murmuring from the Slytherins told me that they knew he was right.

"If you don't want to fight with us, go to Hogsmeade where you can Apparate to safety," I said gently. "If you do want to stay, I ask the rest of you to help them." I gazed around at the students from the other three houses who suddenly seemed unsure what to do.

"I will help," said George.

"So will I," said Ernie as he stepped forward.

To my surprise and delight, the rest of the students trickled to my side. Smiling at them, I motioned for all of us to turn around to face the Slytherins, who appeared even more torn.

"Who will join us?" Draco asked. "We offer freedom, forgiveness, and a future. The Dark Lord can only offer temporary safety and ultimate destruction. I had to make that choice, and now it's your turn. What will you decide?"

The Slytherins exchanged glances. Finally, Pansy stepped forward and said, "I will join you."

Draco's eyes flashed in surprise, but he nodded in approval.

"I will never join you!" said a seven year boy as he backed up. "I want power!"

His sister, a fifth year, hesitated before joining him. "Me too."

"Maybe that's not the way to do it," said a fifth year girl who had been standing beside the other. She joined us.

"Yeah, I'll stick with you guys." The sixth year boy came to our side.

There had been 15 Slytherins, and 10 of them decided to stay and fight with us. The remaining five glanced at us before turning and fleeing. It felt like a great weight had been lifted off of my chest. "We did it," I said in a whisper to Draco. We had actually changed the minds of some of the Slytherins. We had proved that there was some good in them. They were on our side.

"Yes, and now we have to go," Draco said.

"I'll figure out what to do with our new recruits," George said to me. He paused before speaking again. "I always knew you were on our side."

I smiled and nodded. "Thanks." I turned to leave with Draco.

"Hey, have you seen Fred?"

Images flashed through my mind. I was already walking away, so I pretended not to hear him. After our success, I did not want to be the one to bring the bad news.

"Over there!" Draco shouted. He pointed to the edge of the castle where a blond man and woman were huddled together, looking anxious and out of place. It was his parents!

I nodded curtly. "It's time to move." We weaved through the duelers in the warzone and finally reached the Malfoys.

Narcissa looked relived to see us. "Draco, Crystal, I'm glad you found us," she said.

I reached into my bag, careful not to touch Snowflake, and pulled out four envelopes. "I have the tickets." I glanced at Lucius. "Are you coming with us?"

"Yes," said Lucius, who appeared worn and exhausted.

The relief was likely evident on my face. I knew he would come around eventually. "Great. Now we need-" For an unknown reason, something occurred to me and cut off all thoughts. It was like something outside of myself was pulling me to a certain direction. "Where's Severus?" I had not seen him during the entire battle.

"I just sent him to the Dark Lord," Lucius replied calmly. "He has a job for him."

My eyes widened in alarm. "You _what_?!"

"He'll be fine," said Draco. "He can handle it."

I shook my head. "No, no, no. Something tells me he _won't_ be fine."

"What is telling you, dear?" Narcissa asked, seeming puzzled.

"I – I don't know." My heart pounded in my chest. Something was telling me that something was terribly wrong. Something very strong inside me wanted me to go find him. It was almost like – "Felix!"

Lucius blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"Felix Felicis," Draco replied. "We took it right before we were asked to evacuate."

I nodded. "It makes you lucky. What if Severus is in danger and the potion is telling me to go save him?"

"I suppose that's possible," Draco said slowly, "but how will you save him?"

"I'll let Felix guide me." I turned back to Lucius. "Where are they?"

"It would be highly dangerous if you were to-" Lucius started to say.

"Where are they?" I repeated in a firmer tone.

He hesitated before responding. "The Shrieking Shack, but I still think-"

"Don't worry about me." I turned back to Draco. With an aching heart, I knew what I had to do. "I'm sorry, but I can't ignore this." I handed him three of the envelopes. "Take the tickets and go to the airport. I'll meet you there if I am able."

"But-" Draco protested.

I was already racing off before he could finish his thought. "I have to follow my heart!" I shouted back to him. "I'll be safe!" Then I faced forward, determined in my quest.

I knew where I was going. One time, Hermione had told me about a quicker way to get to the Shrieking Shack, and that was where I was headed now. My body was pumping with adrenaline, and all I could think about was each step forward. I skidded to a halt as I reached the Whomping Willow and tried to recall my friend's words.

The branches of the trees swished around, threatening to attack anyone who came close. If I remembered correctly, there was a knot in the tree that, if pressed, would stay the willow's motions. Peering through the darkness, I thought I could make it out. An idea suddenly clicked. I opened my bag and pulled out a sleepy Snowball.

"Meow?" the cat said.

"See that knot?" I pointed at it. "You need to go press it, ok?" I set him down on the ground, and he took off. He had shown that he was quite intelligent, so I hoped he was up for the job. It let out a breath of relief when I saw him press the knot with his nose, causing the tree freeze its swaying actions. I smiled slightly when Snowball trotted back to me. "Good kitty."

After placing him back in my bag, I ran for the tree. Inside, I found a dirt tunnel. The ceiling was so low that I had to get down and crawl. I quietly illuminated my wand and moved forward. My mind began to race with doubts and fears. What exactly was I supposed to do when I got there? I was no match for Voldemort!

I stopped when I hit something in front of me. I could see the coming from a room up ahead, but there was nothing between me and the door. Then I heard a voice that sounded a lot like Harry say, "Extinguish your light!"

I blinked in surprise but did just that. I then saw something lift up, and I could make out Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Harry pulled me close to him and put the cloak back on over all four of us. My mind was spinning too quickly to try to figure out what was happening, so I just looked forward into the lit room.

I could see nothing because Harry was looking through the only hole that had been left, but I pressed my ear up against the door so that I could hear. I bit my lip hard to keep myself quiet when I heard Severus speak.

"... my Lord, their resistance is crumbling-"

"-and it is doing so without your help," said Voldemort in his high, clear voice. "Skilled wizard though you are, Severus, I do not think you will make much difference now. We are almost there...almost."

"Let me find the boy. Let me bring you Potter. I know I can find him, my Lord. Please."

After a long pause, Voldemort said softly, "I have a problem, Severus."

"My Lord?" said Severus.

"Why doesn't it work for me, Severus?"

In the silence, I could hear a snake hiss. Then Severus said, "My - my lord? I do not understand. You - you have performed extraordinary magic with that wand."

"No," Voldemort said. "I have performed my usual magic. I am extraordinary, but this wand...no. It has not revealed the wonders it has promised. I feel no difference between this wand and the one I procured from Ollivander all those years ago. No difference."

I wondered what was going on. Voldemort must have obtained some sort of powerful wand that was not working right for him, and it seemed like Severus knew the reason. This must have been why he was in danger.

"I have thought long and hard, Severus...do you know why I have called you back from battle?"

"No, my Lord, but I beg you will let me return. Let me find Potter."

"You sound like Lucius. Neither of you understands Potter as I do. He does not need finding. Potter will come to me. I knew his weakness you see, his one great flaw. He will hate watching the others struck down around him, knowing that it is for him that it happens. He will want to stop it at any cost. He will come."

"But my Lord, he might be killed accidentally by someone other than yourself -"

"My instructions to the Death Eaters have been perfectly clear. Capture Potter. Kill his friends - the more, the better - but do not kill him. But it is of you that I wished to speak, Severus, not Harry Potter. You have been very valuable to me. Very valuable."

"My Lord knows I seek only to serve him. But - let me go and find the boy, my Lord. Let me bring him to you. I know I can -"

"I have told you, no!" said Voldemort. "My concern at the moment, Severus, is what will happen when I finally meet the boy!"

"My Lord, there can be no question, surely - ?"

"- but there is a question, Severus. There is." He paused. "Why did both the wands I have used fail when directed at Harry Potter?"

"I - I cannot answer that, my Lord."

"Can't you? My wand of yew did everything of which I asked it, Severus, except to kill Harry Potter. Twice it failed. Ollivander told me under torture of the twin cores, told me to take another's wand. I did so, but Lucius's wand shattered upon meeting Potter's."

"I - I have no explanation, my Lord."

"I sought a third wand, Severus: the Elder Wand, the Wand of Destiny, the Deathstick. I took it from its previous master. I took it from the grave of Albus Dumbledore."

"My Lord - let me go to the boy -"

"All this long night when I am on the brink of victory, I have sat here," said Voldemort, his voice barely louder than a whisper, "wondering, wondering, why the Elder Wand refuses to be what it ought to be, refuses to perform as legend says it must perform for its rightful owner...and I think I have the answer. Perhaps you already know it? You are a clever man, after all, Severus. You have been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must happen."

"My Lord -"

"The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot truly be mine."

"My Lord!" Snape protested.

"It cannot be any other way," said Voldemort. "I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last."

The room was silent for a moment. Then I heard the sound of slithering, and my heart beat fast as I realized what was going to happen. I made a movement to go forward, but Harry grabbed me to hold me and out his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. For a reason unknown to me, I did not struggle.

I heard a snake his followed by a terrible scream. Now Harry had to hold me tighter to keep in my reaction. I shut my eyes and clenched my teeth. What kind of luck was this?

"I regret it," Voldemort said coldly. Then I heard him leave. 


	82. Freedom

"_Don't you give up on me_  
_You're everything I need_  
_This is how it feels when you take your life back_  
_This is how it feels when you fight back_

_No, not gonna die tonight_  
_We're gonna stand and fight forever_  
_(Don't close your eyes)_  
_No, not gonna die tonight_  
_We're gonna fight for us together_"

– "Not Gonna Die" by Skillet

I could hardly breathe. Before I could come up with a plan, Harry let go off me and took out his wand. Hermione whispered his name, but he was already lifting up the crate that blocked the door. He pulled himself into the room, and I quickly followed.

My heart caught in my throat as I saw Severus lying up against the wall, dying. There was a gaping, bloody wound on his neck that he was holding with his hands. My mind felt numb, and I stood back as Harry took off his cloak to stare at him. Severus seized the front of his robes and pulled him close.

A terrible rasping, gurgling noise issued from Severus' throat. "Take...it...Take...it..." Moving forward, I saw that more than blood was leaking from Severus. Silvery blue, neither gas nor liquid, it gushed form his mouth and his ears and his eyes. A flask, conjured from thin air, was thrust into Harry's by Hermione. Harry lifted the silvery substance into it with his wand.

Upon seeing the flask, something clicked in my brain, and I sprang back to life. My hands shaking, I searched my bag for the only thing I knew could help me now. The trio turned to look at me as I pulled it out: a vile of phoenix tears, capable of healing _any _wound.

My hands were shaking as I uncorked the bottle. And knelt down on the floor. Just as I raised it above Severus, Harry grabbed my wrist, stopping me. I had not considered that would still not trust my judgment, and I had no time to argue with him. I looked at him and pleaded him with my eyes. "Please," I said softly.

Harry stared into my eyes for what seemed like forever. Finally, he slowly retracted his hand. Immediately turned back to Severus and poured the contents of the bottle over his wound. He now had his eyes closed, but it appeared that the wound was stitching together and blood was no longer flowing. I brought my hand to his chest just to make sure he was still alive. I let out a breath of relief as I stood up and put the empty bottle away.

"W-well?" Hermione asked timidly. She too seemed unsure whether my actions had been good or bad.

"He's passed out from the blood loss, but he'll be fine now," I said. The phoenix tears had come in real handy. It was almost as if Dumbledore had known I would be needing them, but that was impossible, right?

Ron opened his mouth to say something, but then the high, cold voice of Voldemort echoed throughout the room, bouncing off all the walls. He must have been using magic to speak to everyone in Hogsmeade and Hogwarts.

"You have fought," said the high, cold voice, "valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery. Yet you have sustained heavy losses. If you continue to resist me, you will all die, one by one. I do not wish this to happen. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a loss and a waste. Lord Voldemort is merciful. I command my forces to retreat immediately. You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat your injured.

"I speak now, Harry Potter, directly to you. You have permitted your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. I shall wait for one hour in the Forbidden Forest. If, at the end of that hour, you have not come to me, have not given yourself up, then battle recommences. This time, I shall enter the fray myself, Harry Potter, and I shall find you, and I shall punish every last man, woman, and child who has tried to conceal you from me. One hour."

Both Ron and Hermione shook their heads frantically, looking at Harry. I simply stared at him calmly.

"Don't listen to him," Ron said.

"It'll be all right," said Hermione wildly. "Let's ¨C let's get back to the castle, if he's gone to the forest we'll need to think of a new plan."

"Go," I said. "I'll stay here for awhile."

Harry nodded.

"And... thanks."

He did not respond, but his look told me that he understood. A second later, he followed his friends out of the tunnel.

I turned back to Severus and knelt down beside him. I was too exhausted to worry about the war or what would become of Harry Potter. All of that was out of my control now. I continued to stare at my mentor and friend until I saw him stir.

His eyes slowly opened and fixed on me. "C-Crystal?" he said groggily.

"I'm here," I said with a slight smile.

Confusion flashed across his face. "How-?"

"I saved you," I said, "with the phoenix tears Dumbledore left me in his will."

"You should not have wasted him." Despite his words, there was something in his eyes that told me he appreciated it.

I shook my head. "It was not a waste. I didn't want to see you die..."

He remained silent for a moment, conceding to me words. "Where's Draco?" he finally asked.

"I left him with his parents. I told them to go to the airport."

"He would not leave without you."

He was probably right. "Can you move?"

I saw him struggle for a minute before giving up. "I should probably stay here for awhile longer."

I nodded. That seemed like a good idea. "Voldemort has called a temporary cease-fire so we can take care of our wounded and dead. He wants Harry to meet him in the Forbidden Forest within an hour so only one more has to die."

"I see."

"What is it?" Something in his tone suggested to me that he knew more than he was letting on. When he remained silent, I felt anxiety rise in my chest. "He's going to go, isn't he?" He cast his gaze away. "Does he – does he have to die?" The wild possibility frightened me.

Severus fixed his gave on me once again. "Go to Draco. Go to your friends and family. They need you right now."

I wanted to argue, but I knew he was right. "Ok," I said softly. "I'll come back for you or let you know when it's safe to come out." If Voldemort found out he was still alive, only trouble would ensue. Something else popped into my mind that I had to tell him. "Draco and I got ten Slytherins to join our side. We stopped the fighting between the houses."

There was something else in his eyes now that he could not interpret. "You are a different kind of Gryffindor. You and Lily would have been great friends."

My eyebrows rose in surprise. Then a warm smile filled my face. I knew this was the best compliment he could give me. "Thank you." After exchanging one last look, I turned to exit through the tunnel and get back to Hogwarts.

The castle was eerily quiet as I entered. I assumed everyone was in the Great Hall, but before I could open the doors, someone touched my shoulder. I nearly jumped but relaxed when I saw that it was Draco. "You scared me!"

"Sorry," Draco said. "How did it go?"

"I – I was right. Voldemort was trying to kill Severus. He seriously wounded him, but I got there after and healed him with my phoenix tears. He's in the shrieking shack recovering."

Draco nodded. "Good."

"Where are your parents?"

"They retreated with the Death Eaters. Those on our side are in the Great Hall, but I stayed here to watch them." He turned and nodded at the group of Sytherins huddling together close-by. "They were afraid to enter alone."

I stepped closer to the group and gave them a small, encouraging smile. "Let's all go together then. Everything will be fine." I glanced at Draco, and he nodded. The two of us led through group through the doors and into the Great Hall.

The house tables were gone and people were everywhere, most of them in groups. The injured were being treated on a raised platform, while the dead lay in a row in the middle of the Hall. Some people looked at the Slytherins and me when we entered, but most did not seem bothered. Only Professor McGonagall approached us, appearing distressed, and said, "Miss Hansen, what is this-?"

"We're on your side," Draco said firmly. "All of us are."

McGonagall's mouth opened in shock, but no words came out.

"It's true," said a nearby Ravenclaw. A few others who had been fighting the Slytherins earlier voiced their agreement.

"It's like I've been saying all along," I said calmly, "not all Slytherins are bad."

McGonagall finally closed her mouth and dipped her head. "It appears I was mistaken. I am sorry to all of you."

I smiled slightly as relief passed through me. Maybe it took the darkest of times for me to finally succeed in my goals. "It's alright."  
Looking across the crowd, I spotted my parents, who were near the Weasleys. I glanced at Draco uncertainly.

Draco took my hand in his. "Let's go." He led the way through the Hall, and the Slytherins followed. Sorrow filled me when I saw that the Weasleys were huddled over the body of Fred. We stopped a couple of yards away.

My mom turned in our direction first, letting out a small gasp when she saw me. "Crystal!" My dad turned as well, appearing astonished.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly while I tried to figure out what to say. "I'm sorry I've been away," I said in a shaky voice. "I did not mean to cause anyone alarm."

"We heard you joined the dark side," said my dad. He looked suspiciously from me to Draco to the other Slytherins. "What are you doing here now?"

"You are correct and incorrect." I swallowed hard. I let go of Draco's hand to roll up the sleeve of my left arm. My mom gasped when she saw the Dark Mark there. "I did join them but not for the reasons of every other Death Eater. My heart and mind were always on the good side. I had to pretend to be on Voldemort's side so I could rescue those who did not wish to be under his control... like Draco. And them." I nodded at the Slytherins.

"You did it for a _boy_?" Dad said sternly.

"I did it for a _human being_. And not just him. I did it for the principle. Everyone deserves to have a choice. Just because I did it mainly for someone I am in love with does not take away from the value of that action. I also managed to convince his parents and our peers here that there is another way of looking at things than the only way they have been told. If I did not give them a chance, who would? You taught me to love, and that's what I did. I loved no matter what it cost me. Love is always right." I felt emboldened as I finished my speech, and my eyes flashed with the fire of confidence in knowing I was in the right.

"If I may," Draco began tentatively, "I told her it was a bad idea. I did everything I could to stay away from here because I thought I would put her in danger – including ignoring her for a whole year. She always came to me. She convinced me to let her into my life. If it was not for her, I would be at the pit of despair right now. I knew I was on the wrong side but I did not know why or how to get out. I regret the risks she had to take, but I am grateful that she saw something in me that was worth taking them for. I thank you for raising her the way you did. I wish my parents had been similar. Maybe then I would not have gotten myself into the mess I did."

My parents exchanged a long look. Then my dad looked over us again. Finally, he said to me, "You lied, caused all of your friends and family that you were against them, and risked your life for something you believe in? For love?"

"Yes," I said.

"That is such like a Gryffindor. I would not expect anything less."

I looked at him in surprise. "Really?"

"We understand, but we wish you would have told us," said Mom. "We missed you."

When she opened her arms, I ran forward and hugged her. Then I hugged Dad. It felt good to feel accepted by family again. I had missed them as well. "I thought you wouldn't get it," I said as I pulled away.

"We're sorry we made you feel like you could not talk to us," Mom said.

"And Draco," said Dad, "it appears we have misjudged you. I am sorry." He held out his hand.

"I probably would have come to the same conclusion about me if I were you," Draco said as he shook his hand, "but thank you, sir."

Dad looked over the rest of the Slytherins. "That goes for all of you." He glanced at me. "I should not have judged a whole house based on a few bad experiences I had as a student. You have done a good job bringing them back into the fold."

"We're proud of you, Crystal," Mom said with a smile.

I smiled back at her as a warm feeling started to fill me. "Thanks." One of my stressors over the past several years had finally lifted. Now I just had to make amends with my sisters. I unconsciously glanced in the direction of the Weasleys, and my smile faded. My eyes rested on George. I needed to talk to him. I needed to be there for him like he had always been there for me. I turned to Draco. "I'll be right back."

Draco nodded. "Alright." He turned to the other Slytherins and started to talk to them.  
I approached the Weasleys slowly, unsure of how they would receive me. Ginny was the first to notice me, and her face was torn with grief and sorrow. "Crystal!" She rushed forward and enveloped me in a hug.

"I'm so sorry," I said as I hugged her back. "I was there when it happened. It was terrible."

Ginny pulled back and wiped her wet eyes. "It's not fair," she sniffed.

I gazed at her sympathetically. "I know." I looked past her to see George staring at me. He appeared even more broken and distraught than his sister. I moved towards him. "Hey."

He immediately latched onto me as well, and he did not let go. I held onto him tightly, wishing there was something more I could do to comfort him. I did not say anything as I held him. I did not need to.

Eventually, we let go of each other and stood with the rest of the Weasleys, all of who which noted my presence positively. For a crowd that size, the Great Hall was eerily quiet.

Ginny finally broke the silence: "Crystal, where is Harry? You did not think he went to the Forbidden Forest, do you?"

I remained silent, though I knew my silence would speak the truth.

"He's gone to kill Voldemort, hasn't her?" There was slight panic evident in her voice. Again, I did not speak.

Then Voldemort's voice echoed throughout the Hall: "Harry Potter is dead. He was killed as he ran away, trying to save himself while you lay down your lives for him. We bring you his body as proof that your hero is gone."

"NO!" Ginny cried in anguish while others in the Hall let out loud gasps of astonishment.

"The battle is won," Voldemort went on. "You have lost half of your fighters. My Death Eaters outnumber you, and the Boy Who Lived is finished. There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist, man, woman or child, will be slaughtered, as will every member of their family. Come out of the castle now, kneel before me, and you shall be spared. Your parents and children, your brothers and sisters will live and be forgiven, and you will join me in the new world we shall build together."

I looked over at Draco. There was a hard look on his face, and I knew he was not planning on turning himself in. Turning to the Slytherins who appeared more worried, I said, "It will be alright. His world is not worth living in." But there was a pain in my chest as I thought of what was to come. Severus had indicated that Harry had to die. That meant there was still a way for us to win, right?

When we realized Voldemort would not be coming inside, we slowly made our way out of the Great Hall. I could not see above the heads of those gathered on the front steps of Hogwarts, but McGonagall's cry of "NO!" followed by one from Hermione, Ron, and Ginny, told me that a dead harry had been displayed. I could see the Death eaters spread out, and many on my side began to yell abuses at them.

"SILENCE!" cried Voldemort, and there was a bang and a flash of bright light, and silence was forced upon all of us. "It is over! Set him down, Hagrid, at my feet, where he belongs!" After a moment, he began to stride back and forth. "You see? Harry Potter is dead! Do you understand now, deluded ones? He was nothing, ever, but a boy who relied on others to sacrifice themselves for him!"

"He beat you!" yelled Ron, breaking the charm, and the defenders of Hogwarts were shouting and screaming again until a second, more powerful bang extinguished their voices once more. Draco and I pushed our way to the front, wanting everyone to see us and know where we stood.

"He was killed while trying to sneak out of the castle grounds," said Voldemort, "killed while trying to save himself -"

Neville broke free of the crowd and charged at him. Voldemort swiped his wand, causing the Gryffindor to be disarmed and to cry out and fall to the ground. "And who is this?" said Voldemort. "Who has volunteered to demonstrate what happens to those who continue to fight when the battle is lost?"

Bellatrix gave a delighted laugh. "It is Neville Longbottom, my Lord! The boy who has been giving the Carrows so much trouble! The son of the Aurors, remember?"

"Ah, yes, I remember," said Voldemort, looking down at Neville, who was struggling back to his feet. "But you are a pureblood, aren't you, my brave boy?"

"So what if I am?" Neville said loudly.

"You show spirit and bravery, and you come of noble stock. You will make a very valuable Death Eater. We need your kind, Neville Longbottom."

"I'll join you when hell freezes over," Neville said. "Dumbledore's Army!" he shouted, and there was an answering cheer from the crowd, including Draco and me.

Voldemort finally seemed to notice our presence among the crowd. "Draco, Crystal," he said in a dangerously calm voice, "you seem to have gotten lost on the wrong side."

"We're not lost," said Draco.

"We're exactly where we want to be," I added, earning shouts of approval from the crowd.

Voldemort did not appear ruffled. "You mean to tell me you are deflecting just when we have won?"

"I deflected a long time ago," Draco said. "You just never figured it out."

"And I was never loyal to you," I said with venom. "I only pretended to join your side to save him, who never had a choice. We've been deceiving you the whole time."

"My, you two have been up to a lot recently," Voldemort said. Anger was starting to slip from his voice. "Now it's time to put aside fun and games. Regardless of your past transgressions, I will forgive you if you step forward and join us once again. Perhaps I underestimated you, Draco. If you were able to continue such a trick for so long, perhaps you can achieve greatness. You could be better than your father."

"Don't listen to him!" Neville shouted at us.

"Silence!" Voldemort bellowed. He swiped his wand and caused Neville to fall again. Then he looked from me to Draco with narrowed eyes. "What is your choice? Think carefully."

"Draco," Lucius said tentatively as he took a step forward with Narcissa by his side, "come here, son. Stop this foolishness."

"No, Dad. You come over to my side." There was no anger in his voice, but it did sound like he was issuing a challenge.

"Draco... Crystal..." Narcissa said softly. There was something in her eyes I had never seen before.

I decided to address her. "Come on our side. You know you're not happy where you are. You're family is not safe. What more does he have to take from you?"

Draco nodded. "Come, Mom."

Narcissa seemed to hesitate, but then she started moving in our direction, her husband watching in shock. Voldemort's cold eyes did not leave her as she stood by Draco and took his hand. She now had a defiant look on her face as she stared back at the Dark Lord.

"You have chosen your fate," said Voldemort almost nonchalantly. He whipped back around to face his Death Eaters. "What about you, Lucius?"

"Draco," Lucius said pleadingly, his face torn with weariness and anguish, "Narcissa."

"You have to decide on your own," said Narcissa.

"Join us," I persisted. "You're not like the rest of them. You know love. Choose love."

Glancing at Draco, I saw that he now seemed saddened. "Please..." he said just loud enough to hear. "Daddy..."

Something flashed in Lucius' eyes. In a sudden movement, he marched forward to join the crowd of Hogwarts defenders. He stopped to turn and stand beside me. I was almost astonished as I looked up at him, but then I smiled approvingly.

Voldemort's eyes narrowed as he watched us. "You really are pathetic," he said coolly. "Who would accept such disappointments? Who would stop me if I decided to punish you?" He raised his wand.

"We would," said a voice form the crowd. George emerged with Ginny, and the two of them stood in front of us.

"As would we," said my dad as he and my mom moved forward to join the Weasleys.

I looked around in amazement as others moved to form a protective circle around the Malfoys and me. They finally all understood. They knew their true enemy was standing right before them. "You can't divide us anymore!" I shouted at him. "They see the truth. Many of your Slytherins have joined me. We won't give in!" A rousing cheer from the crowd lifted my spirits.

"Then you will all die!" Voldemort growled.

"Go ahead and try," said Neville, standing in front of all of us, still disarmed.

"It's going to be alright," I said to those around me. I held out me hands, and Draco and Lucius both took hold of one. We were finally united. "Texas, one of the states in America, used to be part of Mexico. They had a war for their independence. For their freedom. There is one battle that Texans remember now more than any other. The Battle of the Alamo."

I swallowed before continuing. "In that battle, the Texans faced the overwhelming strength of the Mexican army. They- they knew they were going to lose, but they fought anyway. They did not give up, even when everyone was dying among them." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Every last Texan died. This is the battle that is remembered by free Texans today – not because it was a great victory, not because it was a turning point in the war. It is because those Texans were courageous enough and valued their freedom enough to die for it in the end rather than live without it.

"Sometimes, you can achieve greatness by fighting to the end for somethingyou believe in." Tears filled my eyes. It was easier said than done. I regretted nothing, yet I never knew how much I would end up sacrificing. "Today, we fight for freedom."

"And love," Draco said softly.

I nodded. "And love." 


	83. Life

"_No, we're not gonna die tonight_  
_No, we're not gonna die tonight_

_Not gonna die_  
_(Not gonna die)_  
_Not gonna die_  
_(Not gonna die)_  
_Not gonna die tonight_"

– "Not Gonna Die" by Skillet

Chapter 82: Life

"You'll never win," Neville said venomously. "Even if we all die here today, others will rise and eventually defeat you!" The rest of us roared in agreement.

"Very well," said Voldemort. "If that is your choice, Longbottom, we revert to the original plan. On your head be it." He waved his wand. Seconds later, out of one of the castle's shattered windows, something that looked like a misshapen bird flew through the half light and landed in his hand. He shook the mildewed object by its pointed end and it dangled, empty and ragged: the Sorting Hat. "There will be no more Sorting at Hogwarts School. There will be no more Houses. The emblem, shield and colors of my noble ancestor, Salazar Slytherin, will suffice everyone. Won't they, Neville Longbottom?" He pointed his wand at Neville, who grew rigid and still, and then he forced the hat onto Neville's head, so that it slipped down below his eyes.

There were movements from the watching crowd in front of the castle, and as one, the Death Eaters raised their wands, holding the fighters of Hogwarts at bay. "Neville here is now going to demonstrate what happens to anyone foolish enough to continue to oppose me," said Voldemort, and with a flick of his wand, he caused the Sorting Hat to burst into flames. Screams split the dawn, and Neville was a flame, rooted to the spot, unable to move. I flinched in pain of empathy.

Then I heard uproar from the distant boundary of the school as what sounded like hundreds of people came swarming over the out-of-sight walls and pelted toward the castle, uttering loud war cries. At the same time, a small giant came lumbering around the side of the castle and yelled, "HAGGER!" His cry was answered by roars from Voldemort's giants: They ran at the smaller giant like bull elephants making the earth quake. Then came hooves and the twangs of bows, and arrows were suddenly falling amongst the Death Eaters, who broke ranks, shouting their surprise.

In one swift, fluid motion, Neville broke free of the Body-Bind Curse upon him; the flaming hat fell off him and he drew from its depths something silver, with a glittering, rubied handle - The slash of the silver blade could not be heard over the roar of the oncoming crowd or the sounds of the clashing giants or of the stampeding centaurs, and yet, it seemed to draw every eye. With a single stroke Neville sliced off the head of Voldemort's snake, which spun high into the air, gleaming in the light flooding from the entrance hall, and Voldemort's mouth was open in a scream of fury that nobody could hear, and the snake's body thudded to the ground at his feet.

"HARRY!" Hagrid shouted. "HARRY ¨C WHERE'S HARRY?" Chaos reigned. The charging centaurs were scattering the Death Eaters, everyone was feeling the giants' stamping feet, and nearer and nearer thundered the reinforcements that had come from who knew where; I saw great winged creatures soaring the heads of Voldemort's giants, thestrals and a hippogriff scratching at their eyes while the small giant punched and pummeled them and now the rest of us wizards, defenders of Hogwarts and Death Eaters alike, were being forced back into the castle.

"Come on," I said to the Malfoys. All four of us followed the crowd up the stairs into the entrance hall. Draco and I took out our wands to hurl curses at Death Eaters who threatened to harm us. We all made it safely into the Great Hall, but the battle raged on.

Soon, I saw Voldemort, firing spells from his wand as he backed into the Great Hall, still screaming instructions to his followers as he sent curses flying left and right. Lucius were less hesitant to join in the fight, but they soon had no choice. The four of us stood in a circle with our backs to each other so we could protect each other from all angles.

Suddenly, it was the Death Eaters who were overwhelmed by our numbers. Charlie Weasley and Professor Slughorn brought in a large crowd of people who had been in Hogsmeade: family and friends of students and shopkeepers; centaurs burst through the doors into the Great Hall; the house elves from the kitchen worked together to fight for us. There was hardly any room left for anyone to move. I was starting to believe we truly had a chance to win.

Then I heard Voldemort scream in fury, sending several people flying back. I saw him raise his wand, but I could not tell who it was aimed at. Someone yelled, "Protego!" and a Shield Charm expanded in the middle of the Hall. My eyes widened in surprise when I saw the source of the spell suddenly appear: Harry Potter.

I heard Draco let out a breath of relief while others around me shouted, "Harry!"

Yells of "HE'S ALIVE!" were stifled at once. I could suddenly sense fear in the air, and silence fell abruptly and completely as Voldemort and Harry looked at each other, and began, at the same moment, to circle each other.

"I don't want anyone else to help," Harry said loudly. "It's got to be like this. It's got to be me."

Remembering the prophesy awhile back about only one of them being able to live, I had to agree. I waited with baited breath to see what would happen.

Voldemort hissed. "Potter doesn't mean that," he said, his red eyes wide. "This isn't how he works, is it? Who are you going to use as a shield today, Potter?"

"Nobody," Harry said simply. "There are no more Horcruxes. It's just you and me. Neither can live while the other survives, and one of us is about to leave for good...."

"One of us?" Voldemort jeered. "You think it will be you, do you, the boy who has survived by accident, and because Dumbledore was pulling the strings?"

"Accident, was it, when my mother died to save me?" Harry asked. They were still moving sideways, both of them, in that perfect circle, maintaining the same distance from each other. "Accident, when I decided to fight in that graveyard? Accident, that I didn't defend myself tonight, and still survived, and returned to fight again?"

"Accidents!" Voldemort screamed. "Accident and chance and the fact that you crouched and sniveled behind the skirts of greater men and women, and permitted me to kill them for you!"

"You won't be killing anyone else tonight. You won't be able to kill any of them ever again. Don't you get it? I was ready to die to stop you from hurting these people-"

"But you did not!"

"- I meant to, and that's what did it. I've done what my mother did. They're protected from you. Haven't you noticed how none of the spells you put on them are binding? You can't torture them. You can't touch them. You don't learn from your mistakes, Riddle, do you?"

"You dare -"

"Yes, I dare," said Harry. "I know things you don't know, Tom Riddle. I know lots of important things that you don't. Want to hear some, before you make another big mistake?"

Voldemort did not speak but prowled in a circle for a minute. "Is it love again?" he finally jeered. "Dumbledore's favorite solution, love, which he claimed conquered death, though love did not stop him falling from the tower and breaking like an old waxwork? Love, which did not prevent me stamping out your Muddblood mother like a cockroach, Potter - and nobody seems to love you enough to run forward this time and take my curse. So what will stop you dying now when I strike?"

"Just one thing," Harry said as still they circled each other.

"If it is not love that will save you this time," said Voldemort, "you must believe that you have magic that I do not, or else a weapon more powerful than mine?"

"I believe both."

Shock flickered across Voldemort's face. "You think you know more magic than I do?" he said. "Than I, than Lord Voldemort, who has performed magic that Dumbledore himself never dreamed of?"

"Oh he dreamed of it," said Harry, "but he knew more than you, knew enough not to do what you've done."

"You mean he was weak!" screamed Voldemort. "Too weak to dare, too weak to take what might have been his, what will be mine!"

"No, he was cleverer than you," Harry said, "a better wizard, a better man."

"I brought about the death of Albus Dumbledore!"

"You thought you did," said Harry, "but you were wrong." At this, all of us watching drew our breaths at once. Only I had a suspicion about what he was about to say.

"Dumbledore is dead! I have seen it, Potter, and he will not return!"

"Yes, Dumbledore is dead," Harry said calmly, "but you didn't have him killed. He chose his own manner of dying, chose it months before he died, arranged the whole thing with the man you thought was your servant."

I held in a triumphant shout, not wanting to ruin the moment. I looked at Draco, and he nodded at me with a smirk.

"What childish dream is this?" said Voldemort, but still he did not strike, and his red eyes did not waver from Harry's.

"Severus Snape wasn't yours," Harry said. "Snape was Dumbledore's. Dumbledore's from the moment you starting hunting down my mother. And you never realized it, because of the thing you can't understand. You never saw Snape cast a Patronus, did you, Riddle?" Voldemort did not answer. They continued to circle each other like wolves about to tear each other apart. "Snape's Patronus was a doe, the same as my mother's, because he loved her for nearly all of his life, from the time when they were children. You should have realized; he asked you to spare her life, didn't he?"

"He desired her, that was all," Voldemort sneered, "but when she had gone, he agreed that there were other women, and of purer blood, worthier of him -"

"Of course he told you that," said Harry, "but he was Dumbledore's spy from the moment you threatened her, and he's been working against you ever since! Dumbledore was already dying when Snape finished him!"

"It matters not!" shrieked Voldemort as he let out a cackle of mad laughter. "It matters not whether Snape was mine or Dumbledore's, or what petty obstacles they tried to put in my path! I crushed them as I crushed your mother, Snape's supposed great love! Oh, but it all makes sense, Potter, and in ways that you do not understand! Dumbledore was trying to keep the Elder Wand from me! He intended that Snape should be the true master of the wand! But I got there ahead of you, little boy - I reached the wand before you could get your hands on it: I understood the truth before you caught up. I killed Severus Snape three hours ago, and the Elder Wand, the Deathstick, the Wand of Destiny is truly mine! Dumbledore's last plan went wrong, Harry Potter!"

"Yeah, it did," said Harry. "You're right. But before you try to kill me, I'd advise you think what you've done.... Think, and try for some remorse, Riddle...."

"What is this?" Voldemort asked, his face full of shock, though mine was brimming with pride.

"It's your one last chance," Harry said, "it's all you've got left.... I've seen what you'll be otherwise.... Be a man... try... Try for some remorse...."

"You dare - ?" said Voldemort again.

"Yes, I dare," said Harry, "because Dumbledore's last plan hasn't backfired on me at all. It's backfired on you, Riddle. That wand still isn't working properly for you because you murdered the wrong person. Severus Snape was never the true master of the Elder Wand. He never defeated Dumbledore."

"He killed -"

"Aren't you listening? Snape never beat Dumbledore! Dumbledore's death was planned between them! Dumbledore intended to die, undefeated, the wand's last true master! If all had gone as planned, the wand's power would have died with him, because it had never been won from him!"

"But then, Potter, Dumbledore as good as gave me the wand!" Voldemort's voice shook with malicious pleasure. "I stole the wand from its last master's tomb! I removed it against the last master's wishes! Its power is mine!"

"You still don't get it, Riddle, do you? Possessing the wand isn't enough! Holding it, using it, doesn't make it really yours. Didn't you listen to Ollivander? The wand chooses the wizard... The Elder Wand recognized a new master before Dumbledore died, someone who never even laid a hand on it. The new master removed the wand from Dumbledore against his will, never realizing exactly what he had done, or that the world's most dangerous wand had given him its allegiance... The true master of the Elder Wand was Draco Malfoy."

The shock I felt from Draco beside me was evident on Voldemort's face, but then it quickly disappeared. "But what does it matter?" he said softly. "Even if you are right, Potter, it makes no difference to you and me. You no longer have the phoenix wand: We duel on skill alone... and after I have killed you, I can attend to Draco Malfoy..." I glared daggers at him.

"But you're too late," Harry said. "You've missed your chance. I got there first. I overpowered Draco weeks ago. I took his wand from him." Harry twitched the wand in his hand. I felt Draco tense. "So it all comes down to this, doesn't it? Does the wand in your hand know its last master was Disarmed? Because if it does... I am the true master of the Elder Wand."

_You can't be killed by your own wand_, I realized. If Dumbledore's plan had failed, it had been a lucky chance of events. This was it.

A red-glow burst suddenly across the enchanted sky above them as an edge of dazzling sun appeared over the sill of the nearest window. The light hit both of their faces at the same time, so that Voldemort's was suddenly a flaming blur. I the high voice shriek as Harry too yelled his best hope to the heavens, pointing his wand:

"Avada Kedavra!"

"Expelliarmus!"

The bang was like a cannon blast, and the golden flames that erupted between them, at the dead center of the circle they had been treading, marked the point where the spells collided. The two spells met together, Voldemort's wand flew up, dark against the sunrise, spinning across the enchanted ceiling, and Harry caught the wand in his free hand as Voldemort fell backward, arms splayed, the slit pupils of the scarlet eyes rolling upward. Voldemort hit the floor with a mundane finality, his body feeble and shrunken, the white hands empty, the snakelike face vacant and unknowing. Voldemort was dead, killed by his own rebounding curse, and Harry stood with two wands in his hand, staring down at his enemy's shell.

One shivering second of silence, the shock of the moment suspended: and then the tumult broke around me as the screams and the cheers and the roars of the watchers rent the air. I turned to Draco, and I saw a similar look of shock and amazement on his face. At the same time, we lifted our left arms and dropped our sleeves. The Dark Mark had faded to a scar. It would always be there, but at least for the two of us, it would be a symbol of what we had been through and accomplished together.

"It's over," I whispered, almost in disbelief.

"We're free," Draco said just as quietly. It looked like a great weight had been lifted from him, and his face shown once more. I knew I must have appeared similarly. The pain and frustration from the past several years had finally disappeared. It was so incredible I was unsure what I was supposed to do next.

"We survived!" said Narcissa jovially, and she enveloped both of us in a hug. "We came out of this alive."

"And with honor," Draco said, causing me to smile. He looked at his father imploringly.

"You are right," Lucius said, dipping his head in acknowledgement. "I am proud of you, son."

Draco immediately brightened, and he moved forward to hug his dad. Lucius appeared surprised at first, but then he hugged him back. He was even more surprised when, grinning, I rushed to hug him next.

Narcissa watched the three of us with a small smile on her face. "It's good to have us all united again," she said.

"I'm glad it's all over," I said.

"So are we," said a female voice.

"Mom, Dad!" I said after spinning around, relieved that they were alright. I rushed forward to hug both of them, which they eagerly returned.

"Mr. and Mrs. Hansen," said Narcissa tentatively as she stepped forward. My parents let go of me and looked at her. "I want to thank both of you for raising your daughter so well. I could tell right away that she and Draco were good for each other. They seem to have taught each other a lot. I don't know how my family would have gotten through the war without Crystal's bravery."

"I concur," said Lucius. "I admit I was wrong about them... and many other things. Your daughter had no reason to befriend any of us, especially me, but she persisted onto she got through to each one of us. And apparently several other Slytherins as well. For that, we are grateful."

"We were wrong as well," my dad said. "I let old prejudices taint my view of what was best for Crystal. I thought she was acting based on romantic emotions, but it seems she understood love better than I did." He looked Lucius in the eye steadily before offering him his hand. "I forgive you and your family of all past crimes, and I hope we can start over."

I thought I saw relief flash on Lucius' face for a second. Then he composed himself as he shook Dad's hand. "Yes, me as well. Thank you."  
"I can't believe how much our children have been through," Mom said. "They have both been very brave."

"We couldn't have done it without Severus Snape," said Draco. He looked at me with a slight frown. "Where is he?"

"He's alive?" Lucius said in surprise.

I nodded. "I healed his wound with the phoenix tears Dumbledore gave me after Voldemort tried to kill me. I should let him know it's safe to return." I took out my wand and pointed it in the air. "Expecto Patronum!" My white eagle appeared and soon disappeared out of the Hall. When I finished, I saw the adults talking amongst each other, and I gave Draco a small smile. "It's good everything is resolved."

Draco shook his head. "Not everything is resolved."

Following his gaze, I saw Ron and Hermione, holding hands, making their way towards us. Understanding, we walked together to meet them halfway. "I'm glad you two are alright," I said.

"Crystal!" Hermione exclaimed as she enveloped me in a hug. "I'm glad you're alright too."

"I knew you were faking the Death Eater thing the whole time," said Ron.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah right, Ronald. You've been doubted me since the day we met."

Ron glanced down and scuffed his shoe against the floor. "I'm sorry about that."

"I'm sorry too," Hermione said apologetically. "I should have known better. I committed a logical fallacy. Question your assumptions, right?"

I smiled and nodded. "Right. Let's just trust each other from now on, alright?"

Hermione returned my smile. "Of course."

Draco had been standing next to me awkwardly. Now he said with obvious discomfort, "I should apologize as well." He finally made eye contact, first with Hermione and then with Ron. I could tell this was not easy for him, but he was also sincere. "I know I've given both of you a lot of trouble in the past. I'm sorry about everything. If there was a way I could make it up to you, I would."

"There isn't," Ron scoffed, his eyes narrowed slightly.

Hermione nudged him in the side, causing his eyes to widen. "I can't say we completely trust you, but you helped us win the war, so we will give you a chance, won't we, Ron?"

"Yeah, sure," Ron mumbled. When Hermione seemed satisfied, he put his arm around her almost protectively.

Draco appeared relieved. "Thank you... Hermione and... Ron." A curious look crossed his face as he noticed the red-head's actions. "Are you two finally together?"

Hermione blushed and glanced down. "Yes."

"It's about time!"

I grinned. "I know, right? Congratulations."

"Thanks," said Ron. "We're going to talk to my family now."

I nodded. "Alright. We'll see you later." After they left, I turned to Draco. "One more?"

"Right," he said.

It took awhile to search through the crowds, but I finally spotted Harry near the back wall, trying to escape the hordes of people wanting to talk to him. "Hey!" I called as Draco and I made our way over to him. He looked at us, seeming surprised. "These people don't understand introverts, do they? I'm starting to get drained myself."

"I didn't think you would want to talk to me," said Harry.

I raised my eyebrows. "Harry Potter, do you think I would give a second chance to Slytherins and Death Eaters but not to you? Do you still not understand what I'm about?"

Harry smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

Feeling a bit impulsive, I pulled him into a hug. "I'm proud of you for asking Voldemort to feel remorse," I said before letting go of him.

A look of surprise flashed on Harry's face once again. "But it didn't change anything. It didn't change his fate."

I smiled sadly. "Your job was to give him the opportunity, and you did. We can't change people, Harry. We can only show them that we have a choice."

Harry dipped his head in acknowledgement. "I'll keep that in mind."

"I like what you said about love," Draco said. "I can't believe the Dar – Voldemort – kept dismissing it. Didn't he ever try it?"

A smile twitched on Harry's face. "I know. It's a shame. At least you figured it out eventually."

"I got lucky. Being loved can certainly do a lot for you, although you don't actually start to change until you begin to love someone yourself. That's the key."

"Exactly," I said with a smile.

"And... Harry... I'm sorry about everything I've put you through in the past. I was out of line. Since our girlfriends are such good friends, we're going to have to learn to get along."

Harry nodded. "Thanks, M- Draco. I suppose we will. And I'm sorry as well. I never really did give you a chance, and I probably escalated things on several occasions."

"Several?" I said.

Harry glanced at me. "I'm sorry for everything I did to you, Crystal. And I'm sorry for not trusting and believing you. You were right about everything, especially Slytherin. Dumbledore tried to teach me, but I wouldn't listen to him either."

"You do have a thick head," I said in amusement.

"You've got that right," Draco said.

I smirked. "Kind of like you."

Draco frowned and did not respond.

"Anyway," said Harry, "are we calling a truce?" He held out his hand to Draco.

"Truce," said Draco as he shook his hand.

A wide grin spread across my face. "Aww... I'm so proud of you two." This was what I had wanted all along. Now everything had been resolved.

Harry suddenly seemed to be staring at something behind me. I turned and followed his gaze. Back on the other side of the Hall, a white, transparent doe stood near the entrance. The three of us exchanged knowing glances. Without a word, we started making our way towards the door. Only when we were halfway there did I say, "I don't want to say I told you so, but..."

"Yes, you were right about Snape," Harry said. "I can't believe – I couldn't imagine-"

"I know," I said with a sympathetic smile. "Do you understand why I stood by him now? And why I couldn't tell you why?"

"Yes – to both. Everything is starting to make sense. I'm sorry for being so hostile before."

I smiled slightly. "Thanks. I couldn't have gotten through the past two years without Severus."

Draco nodded his agreement, and then the three of us fell silent again.

I pushed open the door and stepped into the Entrance Hall. Severus was standing there waiting for us. He still appeared tired and weak, but his wound had healed. After noticing Draco and me, his eyes fell on Harry, and I could see shock reflected in them. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"Yes, he managed to survive as well," I said. "I still don't fully understand the details. Something about an Elder Wand..."

"The most powerful wand in the world," Harry responded, his eyes on Severus. "It belonged to Dumbledore, but Voldemort stole it from his grave. Wands don't work right for a wizard unless it was won by its previous owner, which can include killing like Voldemort assumed, but more common it is disarming the owner."

"Since I disarmed Dumbledore, the wand belonged to me," said Draco.

Harry nodded. "But when I disarmed you, the wand became mine. And since a wand cannot kill its owner, I did not die when Voldemort used the killing curse on me."

Severus appeared somewhat amazed at the explanation. "Fate has been on our side," he said softly.

Something suddenly occurred to me. "You know, Harry," I said, "Draco messed up Dumbledore's plan by disarming him, but that's what led to victory in the end. It's almost like he's the reason you're alive and that we won."

"It would seem so," Draco mused.

"Maybe," Harry conceded, turning to Draco. "More than that, it was your mom who checked to see if I was alive. She lied to Voldemort, enabling me to survive."

"Wow," Draco said in surprise. "That's brilliant."

I smiled at Harry. "We'll thank her for you later."

The doors to the Great Hall opened again, and Hermione and Ron emerged. They both seemed a bit startled to see Severus, but they quickly turned to harry. "Do you want to get away from all of the commotion outside?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, thanks," said Harry. He glanced back at Draco, Severus, and me. "I'll talk to you later."

"Alright," I said. I turned back to Severus and Draco. "Do you want to get away from everything as well and find a quiet place in the castle?"  
  
"That sounds nice," said Severus. So the two trios split off to find some peace and quiet after a hectic ending to a tiring war. 


	84. Peace

Severus remained headmaster of Hogwarts for the remainder of the year. After a mass celebration, he tried to get things back to normal. It was hard to focus on school with all of the excitement buzzing around, but somehow we managed. I took my NEWTS with the rest of my class, and soon we had all graduated. I was unsure of my future as I left the castle for the last time, but I knew it was full of possibilities.

My parents and the Weasleys decided to host a part at the beginning of the summer in our yards. I thought it was a great idea and helped out. My family cooked traditional American foods while the Weasleys provided British and wizard desserts. After everything was set up, I stayed in the yard to wait for everyone to arrive.

"What do you suppose you will do next year?" Ginny asked as she came to wait with me.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I have been so busy worrying about the war that I could not plan much. I guess I'll get some sort of potions job."

Ginny nodded. "I still have one year left of school." She smiled. "I'll be in the same year as Harry, Ron, and Hermione."

"That'll be cool," I said. "At least you'll have one normal year in school with them."

"I'm sure you'll come up with a plan. You'll succeed at anything you try."

I smiled slightly. "Thanks, Ginny." The truth was, after the war and giving everything for liberty and love, an ordinary job did not seem important enough. There had to be more I could do.

"Sure. Look, you favorite Slytherins are here."

I turned to follow her gaze. Severus had arrived with the Malfoys. I bounded over to greet them immediately, knowing they could feel out of place at a party like this. "Hey, guys. Thanks for coming."

"Of course," said Draco. This was the first time I had seen him since school, which may have been one of his motivations for coming.

"Hello, Draco," said Ginny when she caught up with me.

Draco gave her a small nod. "Ginny."

"What's that smell?" said Lucius.

A smile twitched on my face. "Those are burgers. We eat them all the time in America." All four Slytherins appeared terribly confused, and I laughed. "Come on. They're good." I led the way over to the food.

"They're new to me as well," said Ginny as we walked with us.

My dad was manning the grill, and he looked up when we approached. "Hello. Welcome to our little party."

"Thank you for having us," said Narcissa.

"We're glad to have you," said Mom as she appeared by Dad's side. "Feel free to dig in!"

Emily and Lizzie were already in line. I grabbed a burger, fries, some sort of dessert, and juice, and Draco followed suit. My sisters were sitting next to each other at a picnic table, so we sat across from them.

"How have you two been?" Draco asked.

"Good now that we know our sister isn't the enemy," Emily said, and I rolled my eyes.

"I knew it all along!" Lizzie piped up.

Emily looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Right."

"George did," I said softly while staring at my plate.

"Well, he does love you," said Emily. "Love sees the truth." Lizzie shot her a look and she smiled sheepishly.

I glanced at Draco to find I was unable to read his face. "Don't hate him."

Draco shook his head. "He was there for you when I wasn't. I don't have a right to hate him. It also must be hard for him to have lost his twin. I understand if you need to be there for him as a friend."

I smiled slightly. "Thanks. After this, do you mind if I go find him and talk to him for a few minutes."

"I trust you," said Draco. "You don't have to justify yourself to me. If you wanted to leave me for him or someone else, you would have done so a long time ago."

"Aww..." my sisters said at the same time, causing both of us to roll our eyes.

We finished our lunch with idle chatter. By then, the yard filled with people. The chatter of everyone around me was surprisingly calming. There was definitely a change in the air. We had all gone through something great and terrible together and had gotten through it alive. We were survivors, and now we were allowed to live in peace and happiness.

I excused myself and began to sift through all the people. It was awhile before I found George by himself lying down on the slope of a hill. It was unusual for him to be alone, and I felt a twitch of sadness as I approached. "Hey," I said softly, sitting down on the grass next to him.

"Hi," George said with a smile that seemed somewhat forced. He sat up and pulled his arms around his knees. "Nice party you have here."

I smiled slightly. "Thanks. Why aren't you over there enjoying it?"

George shrugged. "Don't feel like it."

I could not argue with that. After all, I had felt similarly not too long ago. Instead of pressing him for conversation, I simply sat with him for several minutes. I took it as a good sign that he did not tell me to leave. I knew he might not want to talk, but he at least needed to be around people who cared about him.

I looked up as I saw someone approach us. It was Angelina, a friend of George and Fred's in their year. She gave a slight smile, seeming unsure whether she should bother us. "Can I join you?" she asked.

"Of course," George said almost immediately, looking up at her.

Getting an idea, I stood up and said, "I was just leaving." I glanced at George. "if that's alright with you."

George nodded. "I'll be fine."

Angelina took my place in the grass beside him while I walked off to rejoin the party. Draco had been talking to some of our Slytherin friends, but he came forward to meet me when I approached. "How did it go?" he asked.

"Good," I said. "I don't think he'll ever get over it, but he'll get through it. He's way too happy a person and has way too many people who love him for him not to."

Draco nodded. "That's good."

"Yeah." Silence passed over us as we looked around and observed everything that was going on. Lucius was standing next to Severus, eyeing his hamburger oddly. A small smile appeared on my face. "You know, if we actually did make it to America like planned, it would be hilarious to see your family try to survive in Texas."

Draco blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Texas is very laid-back and country. Your parents are very aristocratic. It would be funny seeing them try to mingle with cowboys who could care less about what is elite." I bit back a laugh. The mental picture was pretty funny.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Thanks."He looked around the yard again and then stopped and smirked. "My family's not the only ones who are having trouble."

I followed his gaze to Ron, who seemed just as confused by his burger as Lucius. Hermione and Harry were standing near him, seeming perfectly fine with theirs. I laughed as I walked over to them with Draco. "Having trouble, Ronald?" I smirked as well.

Ron looked at me with a small frown. "I don't get these things. Or the other food you have out here."

"Just eat it, Ron," said Hermione. "It's good."

I looked down when something brushed passed me. Snowflake was playfully chasing Crookshanks around the yard. I smiled as I glanced back at Hermione. "I think they missed each other."

Hermione smiled back at me. "Was it different not having us around?"

"Yes, it was," I said. "You three are going back to school this year, right?"

"Of course! I have to graduate!"

Draco smirked. "Of course."

"I need to take my NEWTS so I can become an aurora," Harry said.

"I'm going where they're going," said Ron.

"If you're going to be in the Ministry," I said to Harry, "you should try to reform it. There's a lot of corruption there."

"Even before the war, it was very messed up," Draco said in agreement.

Harry nodded. "Right. What is the next step for you two?"

"No clue. I haven't thought that far ahead."

"Yeah, we've been too focused on trying to survive," I said. "I'm sure the summer will bring a lot of time for contemplation though."

"If you like fighting evil, you could become auroras as well," said Ginny, who suddenly appeared between Harry and me, causing me to jump out of my skin.

"Don't do that!" I said.

Ginny blinked. "Sorry."

"I'm not so sure I want to work inside the system," I said in response to her suggestion. "I'm not a big fan of governmental agencies. Trying to reform them from the outside, though..."

"Even if I wanted to, I doubt anyone would let me work in the Ministry," said Draco.

"And that's unjust!" I proclaimed.

"You could always get together your group of reformed Death Eaters and try to reform wizard criminals," Ron said.

I did not care that he was probably not serious; the wheels were already turning in my head. "That's not a bad idea." I grinned at Draco, who looked at me with raised eyebrows. 


	85. Epilogue

19 Years Later...

September arrived just like always. This time, however, was the first in a long time that I was making my way to King's Cross Station. Draco pushed a trolley, where a caged owl had been placed that hooted occasionally, while Scorpius, our eldest son, talked amiably to him. Leo, our youngest, held my hand as we moved through the barrier into the station.

"I can't wait to get to Hogwarts!" Scorpius said excitedly. "It's going to be so much fun!"

"Don't have too much fun," said Draco.

I gave him a look. "What your father means is that it is important for you to focus on your studies and try your hardest."

"I know that," Scorpius said. "Of Course I will. I want to learn a lot!"

I smiled as we continued along but stopped as I heard someone call: "Crystal! Draco!" Emily was moving towards us with her family.

"Hello, Emily," I said with a smile. "Luca." Her husband nodded at me. I focused on Jasmine, their eldest daughter. "Are you ready for your second year?"

"Yes!" said Jasmine. "Are you ready for your first year, Scorpius?"

"You bet!" Scorpius said.

"I only have one more year," said Estelle with a sigh, standing next to her sister.

"Two more years for us," Oliver said, nodding at Leo.

"Mummy," said little Jane as she tugged on Emily's skirt, "how many years do I have?"

Emily smiled down at her. "Six years, darling."

"That's too long!" Jane whined.

"The time will pass quickly enough," Luca said seriously.

"Mom, can we go now?" Scorpius asked.

"Don't you want to board the train with your cousin?" Draco said.

I smiled knowingly. "Alright. Come on." We were off once again. Soon, I could see a group of eight gathered near a carriage. Scorpius bounded over to them with Leo in tow.

"Hi, Albus, hi, Rose," Scorpius said as he stopped in front of his friends.

Rose brightened. "Hey, Scorpius!"

Albus appeared relieved to see him. "Hi. I'm glad you're here."

"Hey, Ginny," I greeted my best friend. "Harry, Hermione, Ron."

The last three nodded at me in acknowledgment while Ginny smiled and said, "Hi, Crystal. Hi, Draco."

"Ginny," Draco greeted. He merely glanced at the other three.

"Hey, guys," Leo said as he approached Lily and Hugo. He soon joined in their animated discussion about which houses they would be in once they were able to go to Hogwarts.

"If you're not in Gryffindor, we'll disinherit you," said Ron, "but no pressure."

"Ron!" Hermione and I said at the same time. Lily and Hugo laughed, but Albus and Rose looked solemn.

"He doesn't mean it," said Hermione and Ginny.

"I just hope we're in the same house," Scorpius said to Albus, who nodded.

"That's fine," said Ron, "but make sure you beat Scorpius in every test, Rosie. Thank God you inherited your mother's brains."

"Ron!" I scolded him. "They're friends; don't turn them against each other."

"You're right, sorry," said Ron, but he added, "Don't get too friendly with him, though, Rosie. Granddad Weasley would never forgive you if you married..."

"Hey, watch it," said Draco.

"You wouldn't be able to stop them if that happened," I said in slight amusement." Trust me. Scorpius and Rose looked at us oddly.

"Hey!" James, Harry's eldest child, exclaimed as he ran towards us, appearing to be brimming with excitement and news. "Teddy's back there," he said breathlessly, pointing back over his shoulder into the billowing clouds of steam. "Just seen him! And guess what he's doing? Snogging Victoire!" He gazed up at the adults, evidently disappointed by our lack of reaction. "Our Teddy! Teddy Lupin! Snogging our Victoire! Our cousin! And I asked teddy what he was doing -"

"You interrupted them?" said Ginny. "You are so like Ron -"

"- and he said he'd come to see her off! And then he told me to go away. He's snogging her!" James added as though worried he had not made himself clear.

"Oh, it would be lovely if they got married!" Lily whispered ecstatically. "Teddy would really be part of the family then!"

"He's already part of my family," Scorpius said proudly, causing me to smile. The friendly and easy-going Teddy Lupin was popular among all of the children.

"He already comes round for dinner about four times a week," said Harry. "Why don't we just invite him to live with us and have done with it?"

"Yeah!" James said enthusiastically. "I don't mind sharing with Al - Teddy could have my room!"

"No," Harry said firmly, "you and Al will share a room only when I want the house demolished." He checked his watch. "It's nearly eleven; you'd better get on board."

"Don't forget to give Neville our love!" Ginny told James as she hugged him.

"Mum! I can't give a professor love!" James protested.

"But you know Neville -"

James rolled his eyes. "Outside, yeah, but at school he's Professor Longbottom, isn't he? I can't walk into Herbology and give him love...." Shaking his head at his mother's foolishness, he vented his feelings by aiming a kick at Albus. "See you later, Al. Watch out for the thestrals."

"I thought they were invisible!" Albus said. "You said they were invisible!" But James merely laughed, permitted his mother to kiss him, gave his father a fleeting hug, and then leapt onto the rapidly filling train. I saw him wave, then sprint away up the corridor to find his friends.

"Thestrals are nothing to worry about," Harry told Albus. "They're gentle things, there's nothing scary about them. Anyway, you won't be going up to school in the carriages, you'll be going in the boats."

"Bye, Scorpius," Leo said.

"Be good," I said as I hugged him. I was glad he was still openly affectionate with his parents. Though I was smiling, I was saddened at the prospect of letting him go.

Scorpius moved to hug his father next, and Draco said, "Try to get into Slytherin."

I shot him a look. "It doesn't matter which house you're in. Your house does not confine you. What matters most are the choices you make – and you should always strive to make your future better than your past." I noticed Albus listening to me now, and I offered him a small smile.

"That's right," said Harry. "Neither of you have anything to worry about."

"Great!" Scorpius said brightly. "Come on, Al." The two of them scrambled onto the carriage that Rose had already boarded, and Ginny closed the door behind them.

Many people both on and off the train were not staring at Harry. "Why are they all staring?" Albus demanded as he, Scorpius, and Rose looked around at all the faces.

"Don't let it worry you," said Ron. "It's me, I'm extremely famous."

Albus, Scorpius, Rose, Leo, Hugo, and Lily laughed. I watched as my son waved at us all the way until the train disappeared out of sight.

Draco took my hand and squeezed it gently. "He'll do great," he said softly.

A small smile formed on my lips. "He will."

Scorpius Malfoy and Albus Potter looked so much like their respective fathers, yet they were already the best of friends. Seeing them ride off together gave me great hope for the future of them, Hogwarts, and the wizarding world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, everyone! I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
